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When Should You Kiss On a First Date?

In this video, I explore the age-old question of when to kiss on a first date. I discuss the various factors that can influence whether or not to go in for the kiss, such as chemistry, body language, and cultural norms. If you're wondering whether to make a move or not, this video is for you.

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WHO AM I:
Hi, I’m Eddy Baller, author & founder of Conquer & Win.
I’ve been a dating and relationship coach since 2011, and since then I have helped men across the globe to build their social confidence and get the dates and relationships they deserve.


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Transcript
00:00When should you kiss on the first date or should you even kiss on the first date?
00:03There are some different strategies you can take and you could be successful going for a kiss on the first date
00:08Or not going for the kiss on the first date
00:09But it depends how far you want to take it and what's going on in your date
00:13Do you just want a kiss to test the waters to establish a romantic frame or do you want to get laid?
00:18Or is the date going kind of badly and you're just like fuck it
00:21I'm gonna do this and see what happens or maybe you're going for that first date kiss because you're settling for a second best
00:27Basically, you'd like to get laid but you don't really think you could actually take it that far
00:31So you're settling for a second prize. So let's explore your options here whether it's just a kiss or something more. Let's go
00:40When should you kiss on the first date?
00:42So let's look at your dating strategy first so can see where you want to take this
00:46What is your goal for the date?
00:47Do you want to kiss her to get that first kiss out of the way or do you want to actually take it somewhere else?
00:51Now there are a few different ways you can do this
00:53Number one is just kissing her to set an intention basically that you're showing this is a romantic thing
00:58This is not a friendship thing aka you're avoiding the friend zone
01:02Number two you wait until you actually take her home and then you go for a kiss in that case
01:06Obviously you're gonna be trying to go for the full meal deal you may or may not get there
01:10But that's always a good strategy and that's one that I usually you would use myself number three is the end of the date
01:14And you just go for that goodnight kiss or number four the date isn't really going that well
01:18And you know if you don't make a decisive move, it's gonna go nowhere. You're never gonna see her again
01:23I've done this before on dates and I've made it go really well afterwards one day really beautiful girl
01:29I had a pub having a drink where you know in the corner of the table seated there
01:33And I was you know pretty mundane conversation nothing exciting and I was out of my home zone meaning I was away from my place
01:38Wasn't gonna be able to invite her home and I knew if I didn't do something
01:42It would go nowhere and I'd never see her again. So I just stood up gently grabbed her behind the head and went for the kiss
01:49She didn't move away, but she was definitely very surprised and then we kept chatting for a few more minutes
01:53We went back to her car afterwards because she was when driving at that time
01:56And then she invited me home for a drink and so a hundred percent believe that if I did not go for that kiss that would have not happened
02:02So any of these options are actually completely fine
02:04It's really up to you and your timing in fact
02:07You can just not have a first date kiss and that's okay, too
02:09You can try on a second date or even a third date there is actually no rush to go for a kiss on the first date
02:14And although kissing a girl on the first day can be great
02:17There's also some risk which leads us to the dangers of kissing a girl on the first date. No, God, please. No, no
02:24Okay, it's not that dangerous, but the risk is that you could actually kill any sexual tension by getting rid of the anticipation
02:31She got to try you out already
02:33She got to try your lips and now the curiosity may not be as strong or maybe your kiss was bad
02:39In which case that's gonna mean she's not interested in stale seconds
02:42This is one of the reasons I prefer to go for the full meal deal and take them home before going for a kiss
02:47So I can try to go all the way sure maybe that will also kill the anticipation too because you've already gone all the way
02:53But at that point who cares?
02:55I'm a try before you buy kind of guy and if I'm gonna have a relationship with somebody or sort of seeing them ongoing
03:01I'd like to get that out of the way first
03:03But that may not be you and that's okay
03:05But if your sexual chemistry is good after you sleep together
03:07Then the odds are you will be seeing each other again because you're gonna want more of that
03:11So and then you can choose when to kiss a girl on the first date or not. There's no rush
03:15You shouldn't put any pressure on yourself because it's just not necessary
03:18However, at the end of the date is fine when you're walking to her car or if you take her home
03:23You're gonna pick your spot then but typically you're gonna wait till there's a pause and maybe some sexual attention is built up
03:29You feel those butterflies inside you see she's kind of giggling as well when you're looking into each other's eyes and your faces are pretty close
03:35That's usually the best time to go for a kiss
03:37But there's lots of other opportunities too
03:39You just have to learn about how to time it right and you're not always gonna get the timing right and that's okay
03:44But go for it anyways if you really want to try for a kiss just get out of the way
03:47Now here's some common questions about when to kiss on a first date. Is it expected to kiss on a first date?
03:51It is not expected to kiss on a first date
03:53In fact many people wait till the second or third date or even more before they have their first kiss
03:57But this comes down to personal preference what type of kiss is best for a first kiss
04:01Usually starting with a closed mouth kiss is the best kiss for a first kiss and that will often lead to french kissing as well
04:07But you don't want to jump on her with your tongue sticking out. That's all for today until next time conquer and win
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