- hace 5 meses
After 99 objects to doing simple assignments after marriage and motherhood, the Chief assigns her to find out how a radio drama is transmitting coded messages to KAOS.
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00:00I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but we are closing at five minutes. This way, please.
00:30Yes, is that you, Mason?
00:56Yeah.
00:57Here, take this.
00:58I'm sorry, I can't chew gum.
01:00I just had a tooth pill this morning.
01:02This isn't gum.
01:03It's microfilm.
01:04Oh, I don't know.
01:05I'll have to check with my dentist.
01:07Don't be ridiculous.
01:08This won't hurt you.
01:09As a matter of fact, it's good for your teeth.
01:11Are you sure?
01:12Positive.
01:13Here, look at what it says on the label.
01:15Approved by the American Dental Association.
01:17That's different.
01:19Why such elaborate precautions?
01:21Well, in case you're captured, we don't want the microfilm to fall into the wrong mouth.
01:25Now get going and make the delivery.
01:27Yes?
01:28Chief, there's an important call for you on line four.
01:30Thank you, Larrabee.
01:31Larrabee.
01:32Yes, chief?
01:33You're on line four.
01:34I know.
01:35And boy, is it important.
01:36I'd like to hear what it is.
01:37I thought you would.
01:38Max is calling you from Egypt on line two.
01:40For what?
01:41For time.
01:42For time.
01:43For time.
01:44For time.
01:45For time.
01:46For time.
01:47For time.
01:48For time.
01:49For time.
01:50For time.
01:51For time.
01:52For time.
01:53For time.
01:54For time.
01:55For time.
01:56For time.
01:57For time.
01:58For time.
01:59For time.
02:00For time.
02:01For time.
02:02For time.
02:03For time.
02:04For time.
02:05For time.
02:06For time.
02:07Max is calling you from Egypt on line two.
02:09For what?
02:10For telling me about it.
02:11Just doing my job, chief.
02:13Yes?
02:14Hello, chief.
02:15Max.
02:16I just gave Mason the microfilm.
02:18Oh, what a relief.
02:19The way chaos has been intercepting our agents lately, I was afraid you'd never get through.
02:23Everything went like clockwork, chief.
02:25Incidentally, that Mason is a real swell agent.
02:27Well, she ought to be.
02:28She's been with overseas control for eight years.
02:30She?
02:31Yes, Stella Mason.
02:32She used to be married to Harley Mason of the CIA.
02:35They got a divorce.
02:36Well, she certainly fooled me with that mustache and beard.
02:39Max, Stella Mason never wears disguises.
02:42She doesn't?
02:43Oh.
02:44Well, in that case, I can understand why our marriage broke up.
03:02Well, wife, as have I gotten doing Ho planet Earth,
03:05but-
03:07Who comes behind the poor photograph,
03:08as have I been caught up late in March.
03:09Well, she has gone!
03:10No, doesn't I?
03:11No.
03:12Well, she has Marsek.
03:13And since she's been dead,
03:14and she has gone and she's been destined for time
03:15,
03:17I'm sorry,
03:18but she was gone.
03:19To have Oa.
03:20Yu,
03:22and Shi,
03:23And all I buy other people who I have Judge
03:24where we should have kept coming later for six years.
03:25She ain't done homework.
03:26She didn't mad at all.
03:27She needs a bigullen for想 purpose.
03:28¶¶
03:58Good morning, Chief.
04:07Morning, 99.
04:08Any word from Max?
04:08He's flying home.
04:09Oh, that's good news.
04:10He failed his mission.
04:12That's bad news.
04:13Chief, can I talk to you about an assignment?
04:15Certainly, 99. Sit down.
04:17How's it going?
04:17How's what going?
04:18Your assignment.
04:19I don't have one.
04:20That's what I wanted to talk to you about.
04:21Oh.
04:22Chief, you stopped sending me on dangerous assignments
04:25as soon as you found out that Max and I
04:26were going to become parents.
04:28Precautionary measures, 99.
04:29Well, I can understand that, Chief.
04:31I can also understand you're relegating me
04:33to elementary courier duty.
04:35But the twins are six months old now,
04:37and I'm still doing unimportant courier work.
04:40There's a reason for that, 99.
04:42What is it?
04:43When you live with someone like Max
04:45for as long as you have,
04:46some of the characteristics of one person
04:47start to rub off on the other.
04:49We all know that Max isn't exactly agile on his feet.
04:53I mean, he's, uh, well...
04:55I know what you mean, Chief.
04:56He is, uh...
04:57Well, you know, we all love and adore Max,
05:00but there's no denying he's very...
05:02And we accept the fact that he's, uh...
05:05There's just no getting around it.
05:08There's not even a word for it.
05:09Do you follow me?
05:10Eh?
05:11I see what you just did.
05:13Max's influence is showing on you already.
05:15You're starting to take up some of his mannerisms.
05:18Chief, are you saying that I'm picking up Max's habits?
05:20Yes, I am.
05:21Now, that's ridiculous.
05:22Oh, sorry about that.
05:36Honey, would you like some more coffee?
05:38Huh?
05:40I said...
05:41Would you like some more coffee?
05:44No thanks, 99.
05:45As a matter of fact,
05:46I think this shirt is gonna be up all night as it is.
05:49Here, I'll help you get it cleaned up in a jiffy.
05:51Aw, Max.
05:53Do you notice a change in me?
05:54I mean, do I seem to be getting clumsier and clumsier every day?
05:57Clumsy?
05:58Why do you say that?
05:59Just because you drop a few things now
06:00and then doesn't mean anything?
06:01Well, something the Chief said today bothers me.
06:04What did he say?
06:05Well, he said I'm getting more and more like you every day.
06:07Oh, really?
06:09In what way?
06:10Like right now.
06:11You're leaning on the table, right?
06:12Right.
06:13Well, actually, Max,
06:14you're leaning in the lemon meringue pie.
06:21Go on.
06:24I'll get it.
06:28Oh, hi, Chief.
06:29Oh, Max.
06:30Sorry about that, Chief.
06:33What's new?
06:34This suit was until I walked in.
06:36Oh.
06:39He did it.
06:43Did you want to see me about something, Chief?
06:45No, actually, Max,
06:46I want to speak to 99.
06:4799, I've been thinking about what I said to you this morning
06:50and what you said to me,
06:51and I've come to the conclusion that you're absolutely right.
06:53You're much too good an agent
06:54and too vital to control
06:55not to be given some of our more important cases.
06:58Oh, Chief,
06:58I can't tell you how marvelous that makes me feel.
07:02Well, it's almost 10.30.
07:03Max, do you have a radio?
07:04Oh, you don't need a radio, Chief.
07:05I can tell you what time it is.
07:07It's almost 10.30.
07:08I don't know what time it is.
07:10Do you have a radio?
07:13Oh.
07:14I want you both to listen to something.
07:17Falling hundreds of feet under the inky blackness,
07:19thus in his quest for the unattainable,
07:21Van Borg's lust ultimately led to his death.
07:24Van Borg fell into the very cave he was searching for,
07:27never to see the light of day again.
07:31You have just heard the classic tale
07:33Van Borg and the Lost Cave.
07:34Directed by Hannibal Day,
07:36produced by Hannibal Day,
07:38and starring Hannibal Day.
07:40This has been your announcer,
07:42Frank Ogg.
07:43This program is broadcast to our armed forces overseas.
07:47And also to Chaos.
07:50What do you mean, Chief?
07:51Chaos is using the Hannibal Day program
07:53to send messages to their agents all over the world.
07:56You mean that's how they knew
07:57that Max was on a mission to Cairo?
07:58Exactly.
07:59Our only problem is we don't know how they're doing it.
08:02A code in the script?
08:03Sound effects?
08:04The organ music?
08:05We just don't know how.
08:07Well, what do you want me to do, Chief?
08:0899, I've arranged for you to go to work
08:10as Hannibal Day's secretary,
08:12effective immediately.
08:13Oh, Chief,
08:14I can't tell you how much I appreciate
08:16this opportunity to get back into action.
08:19And to justify your faith in me,
08:21I want you to know that nothing,
08:22I mean absolutely nothing,
08:24will stand in the way of a successful mission.
08:27I'll get on it immediately.
08:35As soon as I wash my hands.
08:37Me, me, me, me, me, me.
09:04Yes, it's time for radio's greatest actor,
09:10producer, director, and writer,
09:14the incomparable Hannibal Day,
09:16and tonight's classic thriller,
09:19Death in the Cemetery.
09:23Are your cues all marked?
09:25I'm just getting the last of them now.
09:27Good.
09:28Um, Mr. Day?
09:39Oh, I'm his sound engineer,
09:41Roger Hammerstein.
09:42Oh, well, I'm Mr. Day's new secretary.
09:45Oh, welcome.
09:47I, um,
09:47I hope you enjoy your week with us.
09:49A week?
09:50Uh, we have a rather generous turnover here.
09:53I have seniority right now.
09:54I've been here three weeks.
09:55Oh, how nice for you.
09:57I mean, to have all that security.
09:59Uh, the great man cometh.
10:00Well, good afternoon, Mr. Day.
10:14The, uh, script is a little long.
10:18Mine isn't.
10:22Miss Hickenlooper.
10:23Oh, yes, Mr. Day.
10:25You played a major seventh chord
10:27in our closing theme last night.
10:29Oh, it was a hangnail, Mr. Day.
10:32I promise it won't happen again.
10:34It had better not.
10:36Do we still have those Gaylord Carter albums, you know?
10:44Who is it?
10:46Hannibal Day.
10:51Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Day.
10:53I didn't hear you come in.
10:54For a sound effects, man Vasquez,
10:56you have a rather pitiful affliction.
10:58What?
10:59You don't hear very well, do you?
11:02What?
11:08Mr. Day, I'd like you to meet your new secretary.
11:10How do you do?
11:11Does she have a name?
11:13Uh, Helen Blake.
11:14You sound like a soap opera.
11:16Has she met everyone, Roger?
11:17Has she just got here?
11:18Everyone, this is Helen Blake, my new secretary.
11:25Roger Hammerstein, you've met.
11:27This is our organist, Naomi Hickenlooper.
11:29Frank Oger announcer.
11:30Frank Oger announcer.
11:31Hello.
11:32Hello.
11:33Uh, Windy Vasquez, a sound effects man.
11:36What?
11:36Welcome to our happy family.
11:42No, no, no, no, no.
11:50At the conclusion of my soliloquy, I must have absolute silence.
11:55I want my words to penetrate.
11:58Miss Hickenlooper, in this part of the script, where does it indicate music?
12:04I didn't play any music.
12:06Well, I heard something.
12:08What was it?
12:15New shoes.
12:18Well, why don't you get them fixed?
12:32My name is Cocker, and I'm with the FCC.
12:34You are a control agent, aren't you?
12:36Is this some kind of joke, Mr. Vasquez?
12:38I'm Cochran of the Federal Communications Commission.
12:41You must believe me.
12:42I'm not really hard of hearing.
12:44What?
12:44Speak a little louder.
12:46I pretended to be hard of hearing, so I could pick up some information.
12:49I know who the chaos agent is.
12:52What?
12:53Talk a little louder.
12:54Who's the chaos agent?
12:55You'd never guess it.
12:56Vasquez, wherever you are, there's supposed to be a gunshot here.
13:00Be right there, Mr. Day.
13:01See you later.
13:02Quick, tell me who the chaos agent is.
13:04Meet me in the sound booth after the rehearsal.
13:06All right, let's take scene 14, three-quarters of the way down page 11.
13:10Miss Hickenlooper, I will cue you.
13:13Vasquez, we will begin with footsteps walking on gravel.
13:17Ready?
13:18Now wait for your cues, everyone.
13:21It was a soft spring night as I walked along the trestle.
13:25Vasquez is dead.
13:48Shall I play something?
13:49What happened?
13:55There's been an accident, Miss Blake.
13:57I think you'd better call the police.
13:59Oh, no.
14:00How did it happen?
14:02Wendy was supposed to jump in this box and make a sound like someone walking on a trestle,
14:07but somebody wired the box and filled it with water.
14:13Wendy was electrocuted.
14:15There, 99, does that make any sense to you?
14:30No, Chief, but it's so strangely worded.
14:33I agree with you.
14:34There must be a code in there somewhere.
14:36Well, this is Cochran's script, and that paragraph was circled in the script,
14:40which is probably why he was murdered.
14:41Well, if there is a chaos message in there, we've got to find the code and break it.
14:46Too bad that's not a crossword puzzle.
14:47I'm good at those.
14:48You are, huh?
14:50What's a six-letter word meaning a boarded-up house?
14:55Shut up.
14:56Please.
14:58Now, let's try the science of cryptography.
15:01Suppose when we use the first word in each sentence.
15:05Please, nobody, stock.
15:09Try the second word, Chief.
15:12All right.
15:13Please, to, your, nature.
15:16No, that doesn't make any sense either.
15:17Chief, look at the fourth word in the first sentence.
15:20Control?
15:21Could that refer to us?
15:23Well, let's try it.
15:24Let's see.
15:25That's the fourth word.
15:26Let's underline that.
15:27And every fourth word.
15:29Control will destroy chaos, chaos, headquarters, stock, home.
15:45Stockholm, Sweden, tomorrow.
15:49So they know about the raid.
15:50But if this paragraph is read over the air tonight, chaos will be alerted.
15:54All right, 99, we'll make a subtle change in the wording, just enough to throw chaos off.
15:58But that radio show must go on tonight as planned.
16:01Right, Chief.
16:01Now, if we could just find out who wrote this script, we'd find Cochran's killer.
16:06Closed.
16:08What?
16:09Closed.
16:10That's also a six-letter word meaning aborting a house.
16:13Oh, I'm late.
16:28Am I in trouble?
16:29Of course, but so am I.
16:30So is everyone.
16:31With the police?
16:32No, with Hannibal Day.
16:34He's not too happy with tonight's show.
16:36Oh, I don't understand that at all.
16:38I read that script, and I think it's beautifully constructed and very sensitive.
16:43As a matter of fact, I would love to meet that author so I could tell him that myself.
16:47Well, uh, here's your chance.
16:56Ah, there you are, Miss Blake.
17:00How pleasant to see your smiling face again.
17:04Tell me, did you get those notes?
17:06Uh, what notes are those, Mr. Day?
17:08The notes I've been trying to give you for the past two hours.
17:13We'll discuss your short career in radio later.
17:17At the moment, I'm in dire need of a woman screaming on tonight's show.
17:22Can you scream?
17:24Well, I'll certainly give it a try.
17:26Oh, that was splendid.
17:36Can you do that again?
17:38Well, if you can have that mouse run across the floor again.
17:42We're on the air in two minutes.
17:43So we are.
17:44Miss Blake, come with me.
17:46I'll show you where to stand, and when the time comes, I'll tell you when to scream.
17:50Mr. Day, I just adore your script.
17:55I understand that you wrote it.
17:56Oh, there's someone here you'd better meet.
17:58Vasquez's replacement.
18:00The union sent him over.
18:02Who?
18:03Who?
18:04Who?
18:05What?
18:07Must be an occupational hazard.
18:09None of them hear well.
18:12This is my former secretary, Helen Trent.
18:15Blake.
18:16Max, I didn't know you were backing me up.
18:23Well, after Cochran was murdered, the chief felt that it was too dangerous for you to handle alone.
18:28Miss Blake, 15 seconds to airtime.
18:31Max, Hannibal Day wrote the script.
18:33He did?
18:34I just read it.
18:35It's terrible.
18:36Max, he's a murderer.
18:37Oh, well, I knew he wasn't a writer.
18:39Hello out there in Radio Land.
18:58This is Hannibal Day.
19:01Yes, it's time for radio's greatest actor, producer, director, and writer, the incomparable Hannibal Day.
19:16And tonight's classic thriller, Death in the Cemetery.
19:22My name is Spinoza.
19:28The name should sound familiar to you.
19:31I'm the man who lived twice.
19:35It all began the night I died.
19:38It was three o'clock in the morning when the doorbell rang.
19:42I would have gone right back to sleep, except the knocking on the door continued.
19:58I finally had to get out of bed because the caller was so insistent.
20:04It was then I realized that there were two callers, one ringing at the front door and one knocking at the back.
20:26I think the place was surrounded.
20:28And then it started to rain.
20:39My first mistake was to stand and fight rather than run.
20:43I knew I was surrounded, and to engage in battle would prove fatal.
20:48That's when I picked up the knife and threw it.
20:54Luckily, the knife hit a gun lying on the floor.
20:58And the gun fired once.
21:01Twice.
21:03Maybe more.
21:06Then I ran for the door.
21:19On my horse.
21:21But I wasn't sure if it would open or not.
21:24It's just what I thought.
21:29The door was hopelessly stuck.
21:33But only for a minute.
21:34If it hadn't been for the landlady, I might never have been saved.
21:44Call it fate.
21:48It caused me to fall through the trap door.
21:51Call it what you will.
21:53Her scream filled the night.
21:55Due to technical difficulties beyond our control, this half-hour program is only 20 minutes long tonight.
22:19Hammerstein.
22:20Tuttle, you shot my engineer.
22:23My name is Smart.
22:25Maxwell Smart.
22:26I'm an agent of control, and this is my wife, Mrs. Maxwell Smart.
22:29Your wife?
22:30I'm also a control agent.
22:32You mean you've been moonlighting as my secretary?
22:34Well, not exactly.
22:35You see, I'm on assignment.
22:36I was sent here to uncover a chaos agent.
22:38And that's him.
22:41He can't be a chaos agent.
22:43He's too good a writer.
22:44You said you thought the script was great.
22:46Then you didn't write it?
22:48I take credit for it, but Hammerstein there was the real author.
22:54Then he got what was coming to him.
22:56And it proves that Hammerstein is the chaos agent who's been transmitting coded messages overseas.
23:02One thing puzzles me, Tuttle, or Smart, or whatever your name is.
23:06You shot him with a sound effects pistol.
23:09They're supposed to fire blanks.
23:11That's right, Max.
23:12When did you find out that the pistol fires real bullets?
23:15Perhaps I can explain, 99.
23:18When Max first picked up the gun during the show and was firing all over the place,
23:23I was behind a curtain.
23:25Hmm.
23:25Oh.
23:26Oh.
23:55¶¶
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