- hace 3 meses
Max is bewildered when his young 28-year-old contact dies of old age. A disgruntled CONTROL photographer, Felix (John Fiedler), has developed a paint (called "Dorian Gray"), which causes aging once the paint is applied on the photo of the intended target. Rejected by the Chief, Felix shops his dark art to KAOS, which has paid him $100,000. Before long, everyone at CONTROL is aging rapidly, except Larrabee, who has not yet had his ID photo renewed.
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00:00To be continued...
00:30Control headquarters, this is the chief.
00:59Hello, Chief. This is Max. I'm at the Pirate's Cove.
01:02Good, Max. You were to contact Control Agent Carruthers.
01:05We received an urgent phone call from him a little while ago,
01:08requesting contact with another Control Agent as soon as possible.
01:11Carruthers. Hmm. He must be the new kid. I don't think I've met him yet.
01:15No, Max, you haven't. You were to identify yourself with the words,
01:18I lost my dinghy. He will then identify himself by the countersign,
01:23Why don't you try the Brooklyn Navy Yard?
01:25I lost my dinghy, and then he'll say,
01:29Why don't you try the Brooklyn Navy Yard? Right, Chief.
01:34I lost my dinghy.
01:47I lost my dinghy.
01:54I think you're a little dinghy.
02:05I lost my dinghy.
02:07I'll tell you what I think, mate.
02:09You probably got a rubber ducky in every port.
02:15Did I hear you say you lost your dinghy?
02:18That's right, old-timer.
02:20Bartender.
02:21Be right, would you, mate?
02:22Why don't you try the Brooklyn Navy Yards?
02:24Why don't you try the Brooklyn Navy Yards?
02:28The Brooklyn Navy Yards?
02:30It's me, Carruthers.
02:32Well, now, this is a coincidence, Mr. Carruthers.
02:35I was supposed to meet your son here tonight.
02:38You're supposed to meet me here. I'm Carruthers.
02:41Oh, well, the chief didn't tell me you'd be wearing a disguise.
02:45This is no disguise.
02:47That's why I telephoned headquarters.
02:49When I woke up this morning, I had these gray whiskers.
02:52And by afternoon, all the rest of my hair turned gray,
02:56and my face was wrinkled.
02:59You having trouble with your wife?
03:01I ain't married.
03:02Somebody else's wife?
03:03You're missing the point, smart.
03:06Look at me.
03:08I'm only 28 years old.
03:10You don't look it.
03:12Smart.
03:13Something terrible is happening to me.
03:16I'm... I'm dying of old age.
03:19Right before your very eyes.
03:22I...
03:24What'll it be, Mac?
03:27You'd better pour him a drink.
03:29This guy's in pretty bad shape.
03:31The man's dead.
03:34Oh.
03:35Well, in that case, you'd better make it a double.
03:37What will that hurt?
03:39I'm fine.
03:40You would go.
03:41You don't?
03:42You would do that to me.
03:43Let's go.
03:44How old are you?
03:45I'm sorry.
03:46How old are you?
03:47How old are you?
03:47I'm...
03:48My old are you?
03:49I'm good.
03:50I will dry out the air.
03:51What are you doing?
03:52I'm a smoltenay.
03:53In that case...
03:54You're not home.
03:55I'm sorry.
03:56I'm sorry.
03:57What's going on?
03:58I'm sorry.
03:59I'm sorry.
04:00I'm sorry.
04:01I'm sorry.
04:02I'm sorry.
04:33And that's all he said, Max?
04:54That's all, Chief.
04:55I don't understand it.
04:56I don't know what this is all about,
04:58but why can't my customers come back in here and drink?
05:01I'm sorry, this is government business.
05:03Are you kidding?
05:04There's a man that's been murdered
05:05lying over there on the pinball machine,
05:07and you want people to come back in here
05:09and dance and drink and carry on?
05:11Why not?
05:12They do it every night.
05:14You mean there's a killing here every night?
05:16Well, not every night.
05:18We're closed Monday,
05:19but we have two on Saturday.
05:22What day is this, Chief?
05:23Friday.
05:23That was the lab with the report on the fingerprints.
05:28That's Caruthers, all right.
05:2999, that's impossible.
05:35I'm through now.
05:37Did you find the cause of death?
05:38Old age.
05:39Well, how could a 28-year-old man die of old age?
05:42Probably too much wine, women, and song, Chief.
05:45Max Caruthers was a religious man.
05:47He never drank, he never smoked,
05:48he never went out with women.
05:50Look at him now, how terrible for him.
05:53Why, he's not missing anything.
05:56I don't like the looks of it.
05:57It has all the indications of a chaos plot.
05:59But if it is, Chief,
06:00then that means that any one of us could be next.
06:13You, uh, don't seem very impressed, Lucek.
06:16I'm not.
06:17At least not yet.
06:18So far, I only have your word that this works.
06:22But if what you claim is true,
06:24this call will verify it.
06:27Well, don't stand there, Kinski.
06:29Answer the telephone.
06:31Where is it?
06:32Where is it?
06:33Where is it?
06:34Look in the classified pages.
06:42This is Chaos Kinski here.
06:44I'll tell him.
06:51There was the bartender at Pirate's Cove.
06:54The controller's just left.
06:55With Caruthers' body.
06:57You see?
06:57I told you it works.
06:59Now it appears we can do business.
07:02You claim you can do this with every control agent?
07:05All I need is their photographs.
07:07And I'll touch them up with this.
07:09That's how you do it?
07:11Gray paint?
07:12Oh, this is an ordinary gray paint, Lucek.
07:14This is a special blend of oils and rare extracts
07:18used for centuries by voodoo priests
07:20to practice black magic.
07:21It took me ten years to perfect this formula.
07:24I call it Dorian Gray.
07:28Will you age a man that much in just one day?
07:31Well, that's an eight by ten.
07:33A five by seven I can do in two hours.
07:35As I apply some gray to the hair
07:37or some wrinkles to the face,
07:39at that very moment,
07:40the same thing is happening to the person physically,
07:42wherever he is.
07:43Truly ingenious.
07:45Tell me,
07:48what price do you have in mind
07:49for disposing of control?
07:51One hundred thousand dollars.
07:53It's a deal.
07:55Good.
07:55I'll get started immediately.
08:00You know,
08:01as brilliant as you are,
08:03you're a poor businessman.
08:05Why do you say that?
08:06For what you are about to do.
08:08I would gladly have paid you
08:10a million dollars.
08:11It's you who are the poor businessman.
08:16I would have gladly done it for nothing.
08:18There are some things more important than money.
08:20Like what?
08:22Like revenge.
08:26However,
08:26there is one more thing I'll need.
08:28You see,
08:29once a job is completed,
08:30I'll have to go into hiding.
08:31What do you wish?
08:32I would like a plane ticket to Miami.
08:35How about Cuba?
08:36I would prefer Miami.
08:38Cuba,
08:38we can get you to.
08:40Miami,
08:40we can't guarantee.
08:41Miami,
08:42we can't guarantee.
09:06Hello?
09:06Hi, 99.
09:07This is Larrabee.
09:08Did I get you at a bad time?
09:10No, Larrabee.
09:11I just put the twins to sleep
09:12and I wanted to get the telephone
09:13before it woke them up.
09:15Listen,
09:15by the way,
09:16thank you so much
09:17for the baby gift.
09:19Oh,
09:19did the store send it out already?
09:20Yes,
09:20and it's absolutely adorable.
09:23I'm looking forward
09:23to meeting your wife
09:24so that I can thank her in person.
09:26You could have done that
09:26when you got the gift.
09:28That was my wife
09:28who delivered it.
09:30Oh,
09:30I'm so embarrassed.
09:31I hope she won't be offended
09:33that I tipped her.
09:34How much did you give her?
09:35A dollar.
09:37She wasn't offended.
09:38Can I talk to Max 99?
09:40I don't know where he is,
09:41Larrabee.
09:41I haven't seen him all day.
09:42Neither have we.
09:43When did you see him last?
09:44This morning
09:45when we went down
09:46to the control lab
09:46to get our ID pictures taken.
09:48Well,
09:48as soon as you hear from him,
09:49will you have him
09:49call headquarters, please?
09:50Sure will.
09:51Bye-bye.
09:52Who is it?
10:01Max.
10:03Oh, Max,
10:04I was beginning
10:04to get worried about you.
10:06Are you all right?
10:08I feel terrible, 99.
10:10I don't know
10:10what's the matter with me.
10:11I must be coming down
10:12with something.
10:13Oh, poor Max.
10:14Sit down
10:14and I'll get you some branding.
10:17Where have you been all day?
10:18I had to take agents
10:20Harrington and Wilson
10:21to the airport.
10:22Oh,
10:22where are they off to?
10:23Phoenix.
10:24What's in Phoenix?
10:25Sun City.
10:27Oh,
10:27Max,
10:28not them too.
10:29That makes 15
10:31control agents so far.
10:32Yes,
10:33and every one of them
10:33turned old overnight,
10:35just like Carruthers.
10:37But, Max,
10:38doesn't the chief
10:38have any idea
10:39what's causing this?
10:40You know,
10:41it's only a matter of time
10:42until...
10:42Max!
10:45Your sideburns!
10:46Oh,
10:47yes.
10:47Well,
10:47I decided to let them
10:48grow 99.
10:49But they're growing white.
10:50They are?
10:52I'll get a mirror.
11:00Max,
11:01your hair!
11:02What about my hair?
11:03Look at yourself.
11:04Is that me?
11:09You know something,
11:0999?
11:10I don't look too bad
11:11with gray hair.
11:13Max,
11:13don't you realize
11:14what's happening?
11:15They're doing it to you,
11:16too.
11:16You're turning old
11:17right before my eyes.
11:19Now,
11:19let's not panic,
11:2099.
11:21Just because I came home
11:22a little tired
11:23and my hair is turning
11:24a little gray
11:24doesn't mean
11:25that I'm growing old.
11:27Max,
11:28I want you to call
11:28the chief right away.
11:29That's exactly
11:31what I'm going to do
11:31right after I take my nap.
11:33control headquarters.
11:46Hello,
11:46Larrabee.
11:47This is 99.
11:48I must speak to the chief
11:49immediately.
11:49He's not here, 99.
11:51He's down in the photo lab
11:52having his ID picture taken.
11:53Well,
11:54switch me down there
11:54right away.
11:55Maybe I can catch him
11:55before he leaves.
11:56Sure.
11:57Hold on a minute.
12:00Transfer this call
12:01to the photo lab, please.
12:04Hello, Felix.
12:05This is agent 99.
12:06Is the chief still there?
12:08No,
12:08he left a short time ago.
12:10You're welcome.
12:15Bye, 99.
12:27Chief.
12:31Yes?
12:37Who are you?
12:38I'm the chief.
12:39Who are you?
12:40I'm Max.
12:41They got you too, Max?
12:43Boy,
12:44look at us.
12:44We're old,
12:45withered,
12:45decrepit.
12:46What a cruel thing
12:47to do to us.
12:48Especially me.
12:50I mean,
12:50you were halfway there
12:51already, chief.
12:53Where's 99?
12:54She was right behind me.
12:56Oh,
12:56here she is now.
12:57Hello,
12:58chief.
12:59Good grief,
13:0099.
13:00You look...
13:0299.
13:04When did this happen
13:05to her, Max?
13:06I don't know, chief.
13:07We were just driving along.
13:08I was doing,
13:09oh,
13:09maybe 50 miles an hour.
13:11And I turned around
13:12and looked at 99
13:12and she was doing about 80.
13:14You look exhausted, 99.
13:16Why don't you sit down?
13:17You're too, Max.
13:18Huh?
13:19Why don't you sit down?
13:20Oh,
13:20I thought I was.
13:24Chief,
13:24in view of what's happening
13:25to everybody here,
13:26I took the liberty
13:26of changing this Saturday's
13:27controlled golf tournament.
13:29To what?
13:29Sunday?
13:30No to Cheggers.
13:31Thank you, Larrabee.
13:33Come back here, Larrabee.
13:37Max,
13:37what are you doing?
13:39I'm placing Larrabee
13:40under arrest
13:41for the murder
13:41of Carruthers,
13:42the attempted murder
13:43of the chief
13:44in 99,
13:45Harrington,
13:46Worthington,
13:47Sloan,
13:48Carvelas,
13:49Bash,
13:51Neufeld,
13:51Max!
13:52And Max.
13:54Put the pistol down,
13:55Max.
13:56You're crazy.
13:56I'm not crazy, chief.
13:57I may be a little senile,
13:59but I'm not crazy.
14:00What do you think Larrabee
14:01had anything to do with it?
14:02Because Larrabee
14:03is the only one
14:04who remained young
14:05while all the rest
14:06of us grew old.
14:07Max,
14:08don't you think
14:08that the man
14:09who's behind all this
14:10would have to possess
14:11the brain
14:12of a scientific wizard,
14:14an absolute genius?
14:15Sorry, Larrabee.
14:22So am I.
14:24Chief,
14:24if you don't need me
14:25for anything else,
14:25I'll be down at the photo lab.
14:26I haven't had my ID picture taken yet.
14:28All right, Larrabee.
14:29Larrabee,
14:30wait a minute.
14:31Wait a minute.
14:32How many of our agents
14:33haven't had their pictures taken yet?
14:35Well,
14:35everybody's had their picture taken,
14:36chief.
14:37I'm the last one on the list.
14:39Don't you think
14:39there's some connection
14:40between the fact
14:41that all of our control agents
14:42have had their pictures taken
14:43and all have turned old
14:45except Larrabee,
14:46who hasn't turned old
14:47and is the only one
14:48who hasn't had his picture taken yet.
14:50What do you think, Max?
14:52About what?
14:54But if that's true, chief,
14:55that means that Felix,
14:56the lab photographer,
14:57might be connected with chaos.
14:59Well,
14:59it wouldn't be the first time
15:00we've had a defector
15:01in our midst.
15:02Larrabee,
15:02I don't want anybody
15:03to leave the building.
15:04I want you to seal off
15:05every door immediately.
15:06Max, 99,
15:08we have got to get down
15:09to the photo lab.
15:13Not our door,
15:16Larrabee!
15:21We're too late, Max.
15:22Felix is gone.
15:23Looks like he's
15:23taken everything with him.
15:24Oh, thank heaven
15:25he left some chairs, chief.
15:27Those were a lot of stairs, Max.
15:29It's a good thing
15:30we were going down
15:30instead of coming up here.
15:33Oh, too late, I see.
15:36You're right, 99.
15:37All the chairs are taken.
15:38Thanks.
15:39Right, chief.
15:40Go ahead, 99.
15:41You can have my chair.
15:42Oh, don't bother, Max.
15:42That's all right.
15:43I'll just take
15:44this waste paper basket
15:45and turn it upside down
15:46and sit on it.
15:48Max, what's that
15:48that fell out
15:49of the waste basket?
15:50Well, it looks like
15:51an old photograph
15:52that was ripped up, chief.
15:55Who is it, Max?
15:56Uh, let's see.
15:58Well, if it wasn't
15:59for the nose,
15:59I'd say it was Carruthers.
16:01It's because you've got
16:01the ear where the nose
16:02is supposed to be.
16:03I know that, chief.
16:09There.
16:10Now who is it?
16:11Well, if it wasn't
16:13for the ear,
16:13I would swear
16:14that was Carruthers.
16:16That's Carruthers, all right.
16:17That's exactly the way
16:18he looked when he died.
16:19Don't be ridiculous, chief.
16:20I was with Carruthers
16:21when he died.
16:22There were no pictures
16:23taken of him.
16:25Wait a minute.
16:26If there were no pictures
16:27taken of him,
16:28then how did Felix
16:29get a hold of a picture
16:30with him looking that old?
16:32You're right, Max.
16:34About what?
16:35What you just said.
16:36Oh, uh, what did
16:37I just say, chief?
16:38I wasn't listening.
16:39Chief, look.
16:41Look at the gray hair
16:42and the lines.
16:43This photograph's
16:44been retouched.
16:45Yes, nighty-night.
16:46It looks as though
16:47it's been retouched
16:47with gray paint.
16:51Look at this, chief.
16:52It's paint.
16:54Dorian gray.
16:55Let me see that.
16:56Now I remember.
17:00Six months ago,
17:00Felix came to me
17:01and claimed that he
17:02could age people
17:03by just retouching
17:04their photographs.
17:05He was an eccentric.
17:06I shrugged him off.
17:07I told him I wasn't interested.
17:08Well, obviously,
17:09Chaos didn't think
17:10he was eccentric.
17:11They must have made
17:11a deal with him.
17:12Well, I guess that just
17:14about wraps up this case.
17:16Now, wait a minute, Max.
17:17Felix has the power
17:18to make us old enough to die.
17:20We've got to find him
17:20and stop him.
17:21And to find the antidote
17:22if there is one.
17:23Look at me.
17:24I just gave birth to twins
17:25and now I'm too old
17:26to raise them.
17:27Well, it's perfectly normal
17:28for you to feel that way, 99.
17:31But it's a drag
17:32that you have to look that way.
17:35Max, you and I
17:36have to go to Chaos headquarters
17:37and stop Felix.
17:3899, you go to my office
17:40and get a photograph
17:41of Felix out of my files
17:42and wait there.
17:43Now, if we haven't shown up
17:45by 10 o'clock,
17:47then you take some
17:48of this Dorian gray
17:49and start retouching
17:50his photograph.
17:51I think there's enough
17:51in this bottle
17:52to show him that two
17:53can play at this game.
17:54tonight, gentlemen,
18:03we will eliminate
18:03the remaining members
18:04of control,
18:05beginning with these.
18:06All right.
18:07Let's get started.
18:08Just one more stroke
18:09of Dorian gray
18:10in these photographs
18:10and they'll expire.
18:12Who should we start with?
18:14Maxwell Smart.
18:17Who is it?
18:18Building maintenance service.
18:20We have to get in there
18:21to clean the office.
18:22Building maintenance service.
18:24They have to get in here
18:24to clean the office.
18:26Tell them to do
18:26the other offices first,
18:27then come back later.
18:29Do the other offices first
18:30and then come back later.
18:32They said to do
18:32the other offices
18:33and come back here later.
18:34I know.
18:35I heard.
18:36Tell them we've already
18:37done the other offices
18:38and this is the last one.
18:39We've already done
18:40all the other offices.
18:41This is the last one.
18:43Well, they've already
18:43done all the other offices this time i heard him tell him to forget about it tonight forget about
18:49this office tonight he says to forget this office would you stop repeating everything he says tell
18:54him we have to get in to empty the wastebaskets or we'll be fired we have to get in to empty the
18:59wastebaskets or we'll be fired they have to get in to empty the wastebasket i know let him in open
19:05the door wait until they leave it's over there what is the wastebasket make it snappy we're busy here
19:22excuse me felix certainly smart all right hold it everybody stay right where you are what kind of
19:28weapon is that it's a bazooka broom bazooka broom you mean to tell me that can actually fire a
19:35bazooka shell not only that but it sweeps up the mess afterwards i don't believe you let him have it
19:41max there's no trigger chief all right drop it max do you realize what you've done you took a real broom
19:56from the control weapons lab now we're really in trouble you think we're in trouble chief how about
20:00doc simon she's over at the control lab sweeping up with a bazooka just in time gentlemen to witness
20:06felix put the final stroke on your photographs and your lives felix proceed i'll start with smart
20:16uh just a minute felix i don't think that's fair i mean after all the chief does have seniority
20:21i wouldn't do that if i were you felix and why not because at this moment control agent 99 is
20:30waiting in my office with your photograph and a vial of dorian gray this is the only dorian gray in
20:37existence i wouldn't be too sure about that felix have you ever heard the old saying waste not
20:43want not no i haven't oh now how about you lucek i haven't either how about you fellow
20:52i've heard of it i don't know what good that does assure on our side
20:58what smart is trying to tell you is that the vial of dorian gray that you discarded in the photo lab
21:05was not completely empty there was still enough left for agent 99 to retouch your photo
21:10and make you old enough to die in the matter of minutes they're bluffing felix come on finish
21:16them off 99's instructions are to start applying the dorian gray if she doesn't hear from us by 10
21:22o'clock it's 10 o'clock now don't listen to them felix it's a control trick oh really look at your
21:29hand felix my hand wait it's all withered and your hair it's turning white who checked shall i finish
21:37them off no we don't they take a chance they may have pictures of us too i feel weak i'm old
21:44i'm going to die quick get her on the phone tell her to stop not until you give us the antidote
21:51that's just it there is no antidote oh there isn't any antidote chief there isn't any antidote
21:58i'm so sleepy so tired
22:01all right mr smart this is the end for you
22:28all right lucek hold it right there now get your hands up get over against that wall
22:36come on kiss get you two move let's go
22:38max you're young again i know chief what happened
22:44max look at your picture
22:46chief that bottle i threw at lucek it must have had something in it that washed the dorian gray
22:55from my picture there must be some chemical in this cleaning solution that that also works as an
23:03antidote let me see that chief remove all handy all-purpose item for cleaning draperies upholstery
23:13bathroom tile and appliances good also for the removal of grease stains lipstick stains and dorian
23:19gray from photographs that have been retouched by felix
23:33the
23:37and
23:39the
23:41the
23:43the
23:47the
23:49the
23:51the
23:53the
23:55the
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