- 6 months ago
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00:00I like this song. Even though it's about pop music and I don't like pop music. I've just
00:20read the best book I've ever read in my whole life. Hangover Square by Patrick Hamlin. I
00:27got here because it had the word hangover in the title and I thought it's bound to be about
00:30people boozing and it is, but it's mainly about being nutty in the head. This poor bloke
00:35called George Harvey Bone is a schizo, which means he has two sides of himself and he's
00:39mad in love with this girl called Netta, but she's a right cow. Only makes out she likes
00:43him when he has money for the drink because he's a bit fat. And when he changes from one
00:47side of the years to the other, it just goes click in his head and all sorts of mistakes
00:51happen and he ends up murdering her. I know it sounds bad, but I really like George and
00:58I'm really glad he killed Netta. New York, London, Paris, Munich, everybody's
01:02talking about pop music!
01:18I'll get caught.
01:34Cramp.
01:35I've got a stitch.
01:37Where do you want to go, guy?
01:38Well, man.
01:40I don't know if you're going to like the idea.
01:42Are you scared of ghosts?
01:44Of course I am.
01:45Well, there might be a ghost where we're going.
01:46In fact, there might be two ghosts.
01:50There's this bloke called Joe Alton.
01:53He lived on the road there, around the back of our old primary,
01:56and his boyfriend was called Kenneth something or other.
01:58And Joe Alton was a really good writer,
02:00but Kenneth something or other didn't really do anything.
02:02He just read books and stuff,
02:03and he started to get jealous that everyone wanted to be Joe Alton's mate.
02:06And nobody really liked him,
02:08because he was a bit weird with Royal Wig and that.
02:10So, one day, he just thought,
02:12nah, I've had enough of everyone liking him,
02:14and all famous people like the Beatles wanting to be his mate.
02:17Nobody wants to be mine, mate,
02:18because I'm posh and bald and don't write or anything.
02:21And he got an hammer and smashed Joe Walton's head
02:24in about 20 million times, guys.
02:25No!
02:26Yeah, guy.
02:26And then took a load of pills and killed himself.
02:29Good and funny.
02:30The two of them were found dead in a room, splattered with blood.
02:33Oh, yucking hell!
02:35And you know Kenneth Williams?
02:37No.
02:38Yeah, you do.
02:39Oh, stop mucking about.
02:41You know, from the Carry On films.
02:44Oh, mate.
02:45Oh, yeah.
02:46He was their mate.
02:48Blimey.
02:49Anyway, I think it would be really, really good
02:50if we went round there and took a look at the house where it happened,
02:52because you never know, we might see their ghosts.
02:55All right, then.
02:55But if we do see anything, I'm after screaming and run away.
02:58I'll be screaming and running with you, mate.
03:00Yeah.
03:01We'll both be running up the road, screaming and crying,
03:03and everything's going really bad to happen.
03:06That would be really, really funny.
03:09Carry on screaming.
03:10Ah!
03:12Carry on screaming.
03:13Ah!
03:15Because when you're screaming, I know that you're dreaming of me.
03:26Do you think it's all right for a bloke to love another bloke?
03:29Well, I don't know.
03:31I don't think it's wrong.
03:34A lot of really brilliant writers are that way.
03:37Like Joe Walton and Oscar Wilde.
03:39Oscar Wilde was sent to prison for it,
03:41which I think is really out of order,
03:43because he was really, really funny for the olden days.
03:45Larry thinks this is wrong.
03:47Does he?
03:48Yeah.
03:49Well, tell me you beat him up, giving half a chance.
03:51Why would he want to do that, Matt?
03:53I don't know.
03:54He just don't like them.
03:55They make him feel sick.
03:57He thinks they should all be sent to an island.
03:59Why island?
04:02I don't get it.
04:03Not island.
04:04An island.
04:05Out in the middle of the ocean.
04:07Oh, well, that don't seem very nice.
04:10I don't think Larry would beat him up.
04:12He is really, really lovely, you know.
04:14He's just got a strong mind about things.
04:16Well, man, there's someone who is often beaten up
04:18and I ain't even a bloke who loves another bloke
04:20or a criminal or anything.
04:22I don't think someone who does that
04:24can be really, really lovely.
04:26Do you know what I'm saying?
04:27Sort of.
04:29He just says things.
04:30He doesn't mean it.
04:32I do love him, you know.
04:33Love him?
04:34Yeah.
04:35You told him?
04:36Yeah.
04:37What did he say?
04:38That he loves me too.
04:39Who said it first, though?
04:40I did.
04:42Blimey, we want any zotes soon.
04:44Do you want an ice cream?
04:45I'll pay.
04:46Have you got enough money?
04:47Larry gave me stuff last night.
04:49Did he?
04:49How'd he do that?
04:50He's always giving me things.
04:52Gave me this watch, didn't he?
04:53And this necklace.
04:55Last night, he gave me a pound.
04:57Blimey, it's all right for some.
04:58Do you want one?
04:59Oh, OK.
05:00Flurry's paying.
05:01Cheers, mate.
05:04Excuse me.
05:06Excuse me.
05:08Hello?
05:10Yes, lady?
05:11Would you like an ice cream, please?
05:13You'll have to wait, my darlings.
05:15I've seen when on the blink.
05:17It's just churning.
05:18It'll be nice and fresh in a minute.
05:22A bit like you two.
05:23Aye?
05:24Knife and fresh.
05:25You two look nice and fresh.
05:28I feel a bit sweaty, to be honest.
05:29Nothing wrong with a bit of sweat.
05:31It's good for your skin.
05:33Gives you a glow.
05:35What's your name, then?
05:39Farrah.
05:39What?
05:39Farrah.
05:40That's unusual.
05:43What's your name, then, beautiful?
05:44She's Emmanuel.
05:45Shut up, guy.
05:46Oh, that's sexy.
05:47You got a wicker chair, then?
05:48No.
05:49Do you want to guess my name, then?
05:51Not really.
05:51I changed it by depot.
05:53Not really.
05:53Go on, have a guess, then.
05:55Casanova.
05:56No.
05:56I like that.
05:58Have another go.
06:00Bob.
06:00Don't be a puss.
06:03I'll give you a clue.
06:05It's Greek.
06:06Bobbyus.
06:07Oh, you're pulling my leg.
06:08I'm a Bobbyus.
06:10No.
06:11I am Bobbyus.
06:12I am Bobbyus!
06:14I'm Bobbyus!
06:18Yeah.
06:18I know what you were doing there, then, but no.
06:21Not Bobbyus.
06:23You are strangely close.
06:25Go on, then.
06:26Tell us.
06:27Icarus.
06:28Aye?
06:28What?
06:29Do you know who that is, then?
06:30No.
06:31It's Greek mythology.
06:34Did you do that in school, then?
06:35No, we did typhoon and sowing.
06:36What did you say again?
06:38Icarus.
06:39He flew too close to the sun and had his wings melted.
06:44It's like my ice cream, see?
06:45If I get my ice cream too close to the sun, it would melt,
06:48and I'd lose all my power and my business and that, then.
06:50Clever, ain't it?
06:51But don't you need the sun to say you're asking me in the first place?
06:55Yeah.
06:56Without the sun, you're not having a business in the first place, mate.
06:58What can I get you, then?
07:10Two 25 pecans, please.
07:12A nice bit of sauce.
07:13No, thanks.
07:14Sprinkles?
07:15Yes, please.
07:16Sauce or sprinkles?
07:17Sauce.
07:18Sauce to what?
07:19Sauce, please.
07:20Manners doesn't hurt, does it, then?
07:24Do you need any fags?
07:26No, thanks.
07:27Pro puffs?
07:29No, I'm all right, thanks.
07:30Got enough energy, then, though?
07:32Pro plus are rubbish.
07:34They shrunk?
07:35Same as they ever was.
07:37Your hands have probably got bigger since last summer.
07:40Fatter.
07:40That's a bit cheeky.
07:41Yeah, guy, I ain't got fans.
07:43I didn't say that, did I, then?
07:49Oh, these have definitely shrunk.
07:51Well, I've nearly finished mine.
07:54Why aren't you in school?
07:55Run a food trip?
07:56Yeah, we're doing a project.
07:58What's that about, then?
07:59Crimes of passion.
08:01Oh, they get away with that in France.
08:03I've got to see this house where a famous writer was murdered.
08:06Here?
08:07In Littlington?
08:08Yeah.
08:08Joe Alton?
08:09Yeah, guy, how do you know that?
08:10I know a lot of stuff, sweetheart.
08:12I can remember when it happened.
08:15Police and journalists all over the shop.
08:17It was a scandal.
08:18Made the front page of the news of the screws.
08:20Are you on your way there now, then?
08:21Yeah.
08:22I can give you a lift, if you like.
08:23I'm heading over that way.
08:25One of the pubs is getting renovated, and those builders have a nice room.
08:28I don't know.
08:29We like walking and talking, don't we?
08:31Yeah, but...
08:32Come here for a minute.
08:33Oh, that would be really, really cool.
08:37I've never been in an ice cream van before, have you?
08:39No, but you shouldn't get lift on strangers and that.
08:42I'm not a stranger.
08:42I'll be a pin ice cream man, man.
08:44What if he's a pervy or a flash or something?
08:47I can knock him out if he does anything.
08:48You can't knock him out.
08:50You don't hit anyone.
08:50Even when you're getting bad, you don't hit bad.
08:52That's because I'm a pacifist.
08:55If I really wanted to, I could knock him down with one punch.
08:57My brother showed me at her.
08:59My middle brother knocked my dad out once.
09:00It was brilliant.
09:01Use the power from your elbow, not your face.
09:04All right, but if he does anything...
09:05Nice one, Cyril.
09:06We're coming, but if you try and pervy us,
09:07I'm a really good fighter and I'll smash your flipping teeth in.
09:10Fair enough.
09:11What a beautiful day.
09:33I love to feel the sun on my face.
09:36One of the many pleasures that God has given us for free.
09:40No charge.
09:42I can't wait for our trip to Broadstairs.
09:44It's going to be a glorious summer.
09:46Do you like Broadstairs, sister?
09:48It's okay.
09:49Oh, I'm mad about the place.
09:51There's nothing to beat a good retreat.
09:53Oh, I can't wait for a good old swim in the sea.
10:00Nothing like it.
10:03Come here.
10:04I treated myself to a new swimsuit from the C&A.
10:07Oh, regulation black.
10:09But the tiniest flowers and deep green embroidered through.
10:12It's gorgeous.
10:14Hmm.
10:15I don't recall you ever going in the sea there, though, sister.
10:19That's because I don't.
10:21Do you not like the swimming?
10:22I do not.
10:23You can't swim, though, can you?
10:24I wouldn't know.
10:25I've never tried.
10:27You've never tried?
10:28Oh, but sister, you must try.
10:30It is a wonderful feeling.
10:32Oh, and another of God's freebies.
10:34Swimming in itself is a pleasure for the heart,
10:36but swimming in the sea...
10:37Now that is a sensation that I'd find hard to match.
10:42The salt and the waves.
10:45The unpredictability of that roaring beast
10:48is what I'm sure most of the girls here
10:50would describe as a buzz.
10:52Is it now?
10:54I'll teach you.
10:55Shall I do that, sister?
10:56Shall I teach you to swim?
10:57Would you like that?
10:57I would not.
10:58Oh, don't be a dafty.
10:59It'll be great.
11:01You'll be safe with me if you're a wee bit scared.
11:04I promise I'll look after you.
11:05I'm not scared.
11:06I just don't want to do it.
11:08But you must face your fears, sister.
11:10Life is a beautiful...
11:12My mother drowned.
11:14What?
11:15My mother.
11:16She drowned.
11:20Dear God.
11:21The sea is indeed a roaring beast as you've described it,
11:24but there's no buzz to it as far as I'm concerned.
11:28To me it is a dark monster that swept in
11:31and snatched my mummy away in front of my eyes at the age of seven.
11:35I had no idea.
11:37My grief on the sea, how the waves of it roll,
11:42for they heave between me and the love of my soul.
11:47It's Douglas Hyde.
11:48It's very apt.
11:48Can I feel awful?
11:50So you should.
11:51You go on and on like a great big giddy kipper.
11:53I know I do, sister.
11:55Keep your enthusiasm for life to a low simmer
11:58instead of that irritating rolling boil you constantly bite yourself on.
12:04Get some of my feckin' wick.
12:07Too devastation.
12:08Carry on screamin'.
12:13Carry on screamin'.
12:14Cause when you're screamin'
12:17I know that you're dreamin' of me.
12:20The cold icy fingers that run up your spine.
12:24Come closer.
12:27Those fingers that you feel in our mind.
12:30So carry on screamin', carry on screamin'.
12:35Cause when you're screamin'
12:36I know that you're dreamin' of me.
12:41Oh, I'll buy one of these.
12:42I'll make the Plinky Plonker music a bit more punky.
12:45Plinky punky.
12:49Me?
12:50Yeah?
12:51How do you know Pro Plus are rubbish?
12:53Larry told me.
12:55Now he just sticks to glue with speed.
12:57Oh, mate.
12:58Have you taken anything?
13:00Of course not.
13:02Would you though?
13:02Like, if you asked her?
13:03Why not?
13:05I don't know.
13:06I think it'll really upset your mum.
13:08You might have likely to tell her.
13:09But you told your mum everything.
13:12Don't sniff glue like me.
13:14It can make your face all spotty.
13:15Tina up the archway used to be really, really pretty
13:18but now she's got her mouth like a bag of scraps from the chippie.
13:21Well, Larry said it's good to try things out.
13:24Life's boring enough as it is.
13:28You should read more.
13:30Read more?
13:30What are you talking about, Guy?
13:32You know, books and that.
13:33I get bored at a load.
13:34But if I have a book on the go, the time just goes whiz.
13:37You'll have to face up to it, man.
13:38Life would be boring till we can get into pubs.
13:41I hate books.
13:42All the words jump about it.
13:43They never seem to be in the right order.
13:45You might need glances.
13:47I'm not wearing stupid glasses.
13:48Don't want to be a bore, Ise.
13:50Shhh.
13:51Why are you shushing me, Guy?
13:53Don't shush me.
13:54Look, you're what's in my ear.
13:56So?
13:57Slipping heck me.
13:58You sound like you've got to yum for me or something.
13:59I haven't.
14:00You're getting all snap, snap, snap.
14:01Sorry.
14:03Are you scared we might get caught bumping off?
14:05Guy was stupid about the flows last week.
14:08You were sick.
14:10I weren't.
14:11I was with Larry.
14:12I mean, I don't tell you everything you've got.
14:33Silence is golden.
14:36Golden.
14:38No.
14:40Have you got the arm in there?
14:42No, it's just, I wish you hadn't told him my name was Emmanuel.
14:47I'm not big of a right-goer.
14:49Larry said I'm what they call desirable.
14:51I've got to be really careful about giving blokes the wrong impression.
14:54Oh.
14:55Don't want Icky watches to think he's in with a charge.
14:57Did you see the way he was looking at me?
14:59Why?
15:00He looked at me like he really, really fancied me.
15:03Did he?
15:04How can you tell that then?
15:05I just can.
15:07Larry's taught me to recognise him.
15:08When we walk down the road, he'll say,
15:10he does, he does, he does, he doesn't, he does, he doesn't.
15:16Oh, blimey.
15:18And don't you tell Larry's done this.
15:19It could make him really, really angry.
15:23Sounds like your dad.
15:25He doesn't sound like my dad, man.
15:27He sounds like a normal boyfriend who cares about me.
15:29Flippin' heck, guy, you really need to grow up a bit.
15:33When you've got a boyfriend,
15:35you know all about this stuff a little bit more.
15:37You have to do what they say
15:39and like the stuff they like
15:40and find them really funny
15:42and really interesting
15:44and know that deep, deep down,
15:45they love you so much
15:47that they bash up anyone that looked you the wrong way.
15:50You could pack me in just like that.
15:51I have never, ever felt so special.
15:58Right.
16:12We're here then, girls.
16:14Good to be here.
16:17Here I come, then.
16:21The home of Joe Orton.
16:27Just an average-looking house
16:28on an average-looking street.
16:30Yeah.
16:32It's pretty cool your school are doing a project on it.
16:35Something so salacious.
16:37It ain't really.
16:39I've read about it at the library.
16:41Saw a film he wrote and I thought it was brilliant.
16:44Bunkering off, to be honest.
16:45I thought so.
16:48She's got a boyfriend.
16:49Oh, good for you.
16:51You don't mind him being a homosexual, then?
16:55Er, no, not really.
16:59Ain't any of our business, is it?
17:01That's a very mature attitude.
17:03Yeah.
17:04Loads of good writers are like that.
17:06And pop stars and Danny LaRue.
17:09I don't think they should be beaten up
17:10or sent to an island or anything.
17:12I think they should be able to write
17:14and sing and drink up the black cap
17:17and watch our Claudius
17:18and just have a laugh like we do.
17:20You're very, very smart.
17:23No, I ain't.
17:24I'm in the uni at school.
17:25Common sense can go a long way, though.
17:28He just said you're a common...
17:29Ignore her.
17:31It's a very easy joke to make.
17:33Yeah, guy.
17:33I think if a man wants to love another man,
17:36that's fine by me.
17:37I know women love other women as well,
17:39but that makes me feel a bit funny.
17:41I mean, I really like Debbie Harry.
17:44I think she's a really brilliant singer
17:46and a really brilliant songwriter,
17:47but she's also really, really beautiful.
17:50Sometimes I just stare at her for ages.
17:54I don't think that means I fancy her.
17:57I said I don't fancy her, guy.
17:59I think she's really, really beautiful.
18:01Oh, she's got a beautiful cake hole.
18:04Fantastic teeth.
18:05Yeah.
18:06The old world wants to give her one.
18:07You're a smasher.
18:10You got a boyfriend, too, then?
18:12Nah.
18:12Boys don't fancy me.
18:14I don't believe that.
18:15Shall we make it, man?
18:16Yeah.
18:17That's a shame.
18:18The boys are mad, then.
18:21There's something wonderful about you.
18:29Thanks.
18:31I want to go now.
18:32Eh?
18:33I want to go home now, guy.
18:35Honey just got here.
18:36Well, we've seen the accent.
18:37We ain't no ghosts or nothing.
18:39This is a white laugh.
18:41I'm bored.
18:41I want to go home.
18:44We have to go now.
18:46Icky, what's it?
18:48Oi, mate.
18:49Hey?
18:50She wants us to go now.
18:51Right.
18:54You OK?
18:56I'm with him.
18:58Who?
18:59Joe.
19:04Oh.
19:05It was only a bit of fun for him.
19:07Bit of hanky-panky, but he was everything to me.
19:12It was my first love, see?
19:14Right.
19:15I'm still not over it.
19:17I miss him so, so much.
19:19Aw.
19:20I couldn't even grieve him properly.
19:22Nobody knew.
19:24It was a secret, see?
19:25A secret love.
19:26I can't bring him back, though, can I?
19:31No.
19:32He's hard to replace.
19:35I'm going.
19:43You coming or what?
19:44Yeah.
19:45Come on, then.
19:46All right, guy.
19:47I'm in it.
19:47She's a bit rude.
19:49She ain't really.
19:51She's a bit different since she's been going out with Larry.
19:54Aw, better go.
19:57It's nice to meet you.
19:58Nice to meet you too, then, sweetheart.
20:00Thanks for the lift.
20:10Pleasure.
20:14You'll meet someone new soon.
20:16Do you reckon?
20:16Yeah.
20:17You should just smarten yourself up a bit.
20:19Get some contact lenses.
20:21Do you think that would work, then?
20:22Worth a try, innit?
20:24Yeah.
20:27May-may.
20:28What a palaver.
20:29Yeah, men.
20:31See ya.
20:33Mind how you go.
20:37Flipping heck, me.
20:38You didn't even say thank you.
20:39So?
20:40Why are you being so un-pity?
20:42I'm not.
20:43I just didn't like him, that's all.
20:44I couldn't wait to get out of his stinky van.
20:48Where do you want to go, then, Adam?
20:49I'm going to Larry's.
20:51Oh, right.
20:52Well, can I come?
20:53No, I want to go in the hole.
20:55Where am I going to go?
20:57I can't go home.
20:57My dad's home from work having a comedown.
20:59He's seen Smurfs and everything.
21:01Well, that's not my problem, is it?
21:03Why don't you go to the library and read your books?
21:06Look, I'll see you tomorrow.
21:08Thanks for the ice cream.
21:09It's all right.
21:10See you tomorrow.
21:11Don't walk on the wild side.
21:16What a bummer.
21:16We'll see you tomorrow.
21:46We'll see you tomorrow.
21:48We'll see you tomorrow.
21:49We'll see you tomorrow.
21:49We'll see you tomorrow.
21:50We'll see you tomorrow.
21:51We'll see you tomorrow.
21:51We'll see you tomorrow.
21:51We'll see you tomorrow.
21:52We'll see you tomorrow.
21:52We'll see you tomorrow.
21:53We'll see you tomorrow.
21:53We'll see you tomorrow.
21:53We'll see you tomorrow.
21:54We'll see you tomorrow.
21:55We'll see you tomorrow.
21:55We'll see you tomorrow.
21:55We'll see you tomorrow.
21:56We'll see you tomorrow.
21:57We'll see you tomorrow.
21:57We'll see you tomorrow.
21:58We'll see you tomorrow.
21:59We'll see you tomorrow.
21:59We'll see you tomorrow.
22:00We'll see you tomorrow.
22:01We'll see you tomorrow.
22:01We'll see you tomorrow.
22:02We'll see you tomorrow.
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