- 2 days ago
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03:00Darling.
03:01Mm-hmm.
03:03Are you awake?
03:05Mm.
03:06What time is it?
03:10Half past twelve.
03:12Oh, God.
03:13I suppose I'd better go home.
03:15Oh.
03:17Not yet.
03:18Well, I've got to.
03:20Don't go.
03:20Oh, no, no, no, don't.
03:22Don't bite me.
03:24Well, you've been biting me.
03:26Yes, it's different.
03:27You're not married.
03:29I've told you, no biting or scratching.
03:31I can't walk around the house with my shirt on for a week.
03:34Doesn't she ever bite you?
03:36No.
03:37She's trained a dog to.
03:41You were fantastic.
03:44I've been telling you that for weeks.
03:45She's a very lucky woman.
03:47I've been telling her that for years.
03:49Big head.
03:53No, you really were fantastic.
03:56That's the advantage of going with a married man.
03:58Oh, do you really have to go?
04:00Yes.
04:01That's the disadvantage of going with a married man.
04:02Come here, you.
04:04Don't start.
04:05It's late.
04:06I don't care.
04:07Oh, I do.
04:08I've got to go.
04:10Yeah, I suppose so.
04:14So, what will you tell her?
04:16Who?
04:17Oh, her.
04:19Working late, I suppose.
04:21What did I do with my clothes?
04:22I don't know.
04:24You've been very helpful.
04:25Where did I undress?
04:27In the garden.
04:29I did not.
04:31Well, you started.
04:32I loosened my tie.
04:34That's strange.
04:36I'm usually so tidy.
04:38Are you?
04:39Yes, I've been house-trained.
04:41Me and the dog.
04:43I don't know.
04:43I came in.
04:48I'll put them on the chair.
04:50What have you done with them?
04:51I haven't touched them.
04:52They must be around somewhere.
04:53They wouldn't just get up and walk.
04:54Have a look in the lounge.
04:55No, no, no.
04:56I definitely took them off in here.
04:57I put them on that chair.
04:58You've hidden them, haven't you?
04:59Of course I haven't.
05:00Look, it's no good.
05:02I've got to go home.
05:03Give me my clothes.
05:04I haven't got your stupid clothes.
05:05Oh, this is ridiculous.
05:10Well, they're not there.
05:11Come on, where are they?
05:12It's getting late.
05:14Where's my watch?
05:16How the hell do I know?
05:17I always have my watch on.
05:18I never take my watch off.
05:19No, married men never do.
05:20They always have to know the time.
05:22Look in your jacket pocket.
05:24I can't find me jacket.
05:26Don't shout at me.
05:27I'm not shouting.
05:28You are.
05:29Well, I didn't mean to.
05:30God, are you like this at home?
05:31Like what?
05:32Grumpy.
05:33I'm not grumpy.
05:34I'm not sneezy, bashful or sleepy either.
05:38Droopy.
05:40That can happen to anyone.
05:41Under the circumstances, I'm not surprised.
05:44You could help me to look for them instead of just lying there.
05:47Oh, times do change.
05:49I was a vision of loveliness lying here just a few hours ago.
05:52Yes, well, you were.
05:53But not now.
05:54Well, I wasn't trying to find my clothes then.
05:55I was taking them off.
05:57And I want to put them back on.
05:59Then where are they?
06:01I wish you wouldn't make your desire to get away from me so apparent.
06:04Now you've got what you wanted.
06:06I suppose that's my mystique gone.
06:08Oh, don't be ridiculous.
06:09Well, it's true.
06:10We single girls are just scalps to tuck under your belt.
06:13I haven't got a belt.
06:14I can't find me trousers.
06:17God, you married men are all the same.
06:19You knew I was married.
06:21Now help me to look for them.
06:22Why are men so helpless?
06:25That's funny.
06:27My ring's gone.
06:28You must have taken it off.
06:29No, I never take my ring off.
06:31You took your earrings off.
06:32Yeah, that was in case you swallowed them.
06:36Just a minute.
06:41Oh, my God!
06:42What?
06:43We've had burglars.
06:44When?
06:44Well, tonight, of course, stupid.
06:46Well, not while we were...
06:47Of course not.
06:48We would have noticed.
06:49Not necessarily.
06:51Once I start, you can sell tickets.
06:54While we were asleep, obviously.
06:56What a rotten thing to do.
06:58Stealing a bloke's clothes.
06:59Well, he didn't know you had to go home.
07:00He thought you lived here.
07:01It's petty-minded nastiness.
07:03They probably wouldn't even fit him.
07:05Look, never mind about your stupid clothes.
07:06What about my jewellery?
07:07It's valuable.
07:08No, it isn't.
07:09How do you know?
07:10I bought most of it.
07:13Anyway, you insured, aren't you?
07:15Yes.
07:15Well, my marriage isn't.
07:18What are you doing?
07:19Phoning the police.
07:20Are you mad?
07:21You can't phone the police.
07:22Not with me here.
07:23Wait till I've gone.
07:24Well, go then.
07:25I haven't got any clothes.
07:27You've got your vest and pants.
07:29I can't walk through the streets in my vest and pants.
07:31Well, put a number on the back.
07:33Pretend you're training for the London Marathon.
07:34Anyway, you've got a car.
07:36How can I go in the house in my vest and pants?
07:38That's worse than not going home at all.
07:40Oh, hello, darling.
07:41My God, it's warm out there.
07:43I threw all my clothes out the car window.
07:46Well, don't go home, then.
07:48I've got to go home.
07:48I live there.
07:50A bit of time.
07:52What am I going to say?
07:54It's my own fault.
07:55I shouldn't do this sort of thing.
07:56I've been pushing me luck too hard.
07:58I knew I'd get caught.
07:59I knew it.
07:59I knew it.
07:59I knew as soon as I came in.
08:01Well, I won't do this again.
08:02Yeah, well, not with me you won't.
08:04God, what a disappointment you are.
08:07I've never seen a man go to pieces so quickly.
08:10To think I was in awe of you at the office.
08:12All suave, sophisticated, unruffled debonair.
08:16Now look at him.
08:17Take his trousers away and he's a blubbering wreck.
08:21All I'm trying to do is to stop someone being very badly hurt by all of this.
08:24Who?
08:24Me.
08:26She'll go potty, wouldn't you?
08:28Put yourself in her place.
08:29Your husband comes home in the middle of the night in his vest and pants.
08:32What would you say?
08:33I don't know.
08:34I haven't got a husband.
08:36She'll crucify me.
08:37She's a very jealous woman.
08:39Can't think why.
08:40Well, that's nice.
08:41That's nice, that is.
08:42I was fantastic a little while ago.
08:44Yes, well, I'm very disillusioned.
08:46Well, that's life, dear, isn't it?
08:48You've learnt the lesson.
08:49I agree.
08:50A man trying to get home in these underpants in the early hours of the morning is a very disillusioning
08:54sight.
08:55I've got to get some clothes from somewhere.
08:57Are you sure you haven't got any here?
08:59How dare you?
09:00I'm sorry.
09:01I am not in the habit of bringing men here.
09:04You were the first.
09:08Was I really?
09:10Yes.
09:11It's the first time I've ever been the first.
09:14Perhaps I could lie down in an alleyway covered in bruises, let the police find me.
09:19That's a good excuse, isn't it?
09:21I could say I was robbed and stripped.
09:24She'd have to believe me then, wouldn't she?
09:25Yeah, how many bruises do you want?
09:29Yeah, she'd like to, wouldn't you?
09:31Look, you must know somebody, you must know some boyfriend, someone you can phone up and ask them to bring
09:35some clothes.
09:36But perhaps a boyfriend you don't particularly care for anymore.
09:38I wouldn't like to break up a romance.
09:40Oh, you're so considerate.
09:42Oh, let me think.
09:44Alan.
09:45No, he's still keen.
09:46Oh, forget him then.
09:47I don't want any bounce-ups.
09:48There's Adrian.
09:49No, he's in South Africa.
09:51Jeremy.
09:51Oh, damn, he's in Saudi Arabia.
09:54Don't you know anybody in Europe?
09:56Well, there's my father.
09:58Oh, not your father.
09:59He's an Anglican bishop, for God's sake.
10:02Mind you, most of them are at it these days.
10:04No, no, no, I can't go home in a mitre and gaiters.
10:07I could follow my brother.
10:08Your brother?
10:09Yeah, he wouldn't mind.
10:10Sure he wouldn't, er, married man and his little sister?
10:13I'm not that little.
10:14Yes, I've noticed.
10:15He'll be all right.
10:16All right, then, that's it, your brother.
10:17How long will he take to get here?
10:19Half an hour, an hour, two hours.
10:22Well, can't you be more precise?
10:23Time isn't important to him.
10:24Well, it is to me.
10:25What, is he in a time warp or something?
10:27Greg, one of Doctor Who's mates, going to turn up in a police box, is he?
10:31Shh!
10:32Hello, Jimmy.
10:34Hi, it's Penny.
10:35I hope I haven't interrupted anything.
10:37Oh.
10:38Well, never mind.
10:39Look, I've got an emergency.
10:40Could you bring some of your clothes over?
10:42Yeah, I'll explain later.
10:44I don't know, coat, trousers, shirt.
10:48Shirt.
10:49Oh, and a pair of shoes.
10:51Quick as you can.
10:53Thanks very much.
10:53Oh, and, er, give her my apologies.
10:56Ciao.
10:59Well, he's leaving now.
11:00Oh, thank God.
11:03Half an hour to get here.
11:04Half an hour to get home.
11:06That's not bad.
11:08I'll be back before two o'clock.
11:09I've been later.
11:10And then when she asks me where I've been...
11:12You've been on the job.
11:18I thought you said he'd be here in half an hour.
11:21It's two o'clock.
11:23Well, he was with someone.
11:24You know how it is with young people.
11:27Don't keep on.
11:28You told him it was an emergency?
11:30Honestly, flipping kids.
11:32They've got no sense of responsibility to you for today.
11:35Oh.
11:36Would you like some more holly?
11:38No, thank you.
11:39It'll make you sleep.
11:40I don't want to sleep.
11:41I've got to stay alert.
11:42I've got to think of some excuses.
11:44I mean, it's going to be three o'clock.
11:46I know.
11:46Yes.
11:48What about?
11:49Yes.
11:50You went out with some very important business friends.
11:53Yes.
11:53And you lost at strip poker.
11:58You think this is very amusing, don't you?
11:59Oh, well, yes, to be honest.
12:01Well, I don't.
12:02Apart from everything else, I only happen to have the job
12:05because it happens to be her father who owns the company.
12:07And you won't have it tomorrow if you don't get your trousers on.
12:10Precisely.
12:10Or your brother's trousers.
12:12I mean, where is the silly bugger?
12:14He'll be here.
12:17There you are.
12:18You better go.
12:19I'll stay.
12:20It wouldn't look good.
12:21All right.
12:21All right.
12:22Relax.
12:27All right, Jimmy.
12:29All right, Ziz.
12:30Sorry about all this.
12:31It's all right.
12:32Come in.
12:34I'm in.
12:37Where is he, then?
12:39Oh, hiya, man.
12:41This is my brother, Jimmy.
12:43Well, he's no good.
12:45He's eight inches shorter than me.
12:47Oh, sorry.
12:48I'll come back when I'm taller.
12:51I've got time to have a suit made to measure.
12:53Look, do you want them or not?
12:55I've got a happening going on at my place.
12:57I've got to get back, man.
12:58I'm the host.
12:59Oh, yes, of course.
12:59You've got the sherry to pour and the twiglets around,
13:01haven't you?
13:03Oh, I'm sorry.
13:04Thank you very much.
13:05I'm very grateful.
13:07So, what happened?
13:09Oh, we had burglars.
13:13I'm sorry.
13:14I don't find it very funny.
13:16And when you got out of bed, your clothes were gone, yeah?
13:19Yes, they were.
13:20And you were married?
13:22How do you know I'm married?
13:24Oh, with pants like that, mate, you've got to be married.
13:28Yes, well, I need the room, mate.
13:31I'd better get going.
13:33It's a good party.
13:35Where?
13:35At your place.
13:37Oh, yeah.
13:38Wicked, man.
13:40In his third day.
13:42Do you want to come?
13:43Yeah, I wouldn't mind.
13:44It's early yet.
13:45Early?
13:46Richard and Judy will be on in a minute.
13:49You'll have to make your own work.
13:50I've got no room on the bike.
13:51No, that's all right, Jimmy.
13:52You'll drop me off, won't you?
13:53I've got to get home.
13:55I'll shoot off, then.
13:57Where's the door?
13:58Come on.
13:59This way.
14:01See you later, yeah?
14:05Whoa.
14:06There's a lot of outside, isn't there?
14:11Come on, it's only Ells Court.
14:12It's not out your way.
14:13It's in the opposite direction.
14:14I was going to go straight down the Bayswater Road.
14:16It's only another five minutes.
14:18It's not much to ask, is it?
14:20Unless you think I haven't been worth it.
14:22All right, all right, I'll take you.
14:24I don't know why you want to go to a party this time of night.
14:27Because I'm young and I want to dance.
14:28All right, don't rub it in.
14:30Would you mind, er...
14:33What?
14:35Well, I want to get dressed.
14:39Yes, but we were just...
14:40I mean, the two...
14:41I...
14:57Are you ready?
14:57I thought you were in a hurry.
15:06I can't go home like this.
15:10Oh, it's not too bad.
15:14This is ridiculous.
15:16I don't know what you were worrying about.
15:18It's only to get you home.
15:19She doesn't wait up for you, does she?
15:21Well, she never has done.
15:23Well, then, take them off as soon as you get in.
15:26I think I wasted my time waiting for this lot.
15:29Why didn't you tell him to bring a suit?
15:30He hasn't got one.
15:33Well, I think you look very sexy.
15:38Come on, Noddy!
16:00Come on!
16:01All right.
16:04I'm never going to get in here.
16:06I'm sorry, I've stopped moaning.
16:37I'm never going to get in here.
17:06I'm not going to get in here.
17:07Oh, my God.
17:45Oh, my God.
18:15No walk is for you tomorrow.
18:17Oh, my God.
18:17Oh, my God.
18:18Oh, my God.
18:26Oh, my God.
18:28Oh, my God.
18:41Oh, my God.
19:11Oh, my God.
19:13Oh, my God.
19:45Oh, my God.
19:55Oh, my God.
20:01Oh, my God.
20:36Oh, my God.
21:02Oh, my God.
21:06Work, work, work, work.
21:08I'll be glad to get some sleep.
21:10Can I get you anything?
21:11Water, milk?
21:12No, no, no, thank you, dear.
21:14Anyone with you at the office?
21:15No, no, no.
21:16All on my own.
21:17All on my own.
21:18All on my own.
21:19Oh, that would be about...
21:27Oh, that would be about...
21:29About nine o'clock.
21:30That was it, yes.
21:31Yes, nine o'clock.
21:32I heard big bangs striking.
21:33Yes, yeah.
21:34Nine o'clock.
21:34That was it.
21:35What a shame.
21:36And again at a quarter past 11.
21:38And again at a quarter past 11.
21:38Oh, really?
21:40What number did you dial?
21:420724.
21:43Oh, you see, I was in Jenkins' office.
21:46It couldn't have been put through.
21:47What a shame.
21:49So you've been at the office all night?
21:51Oh, yes, yes.
21:51Except for the sandwiches.
21:53Oh, oh.
21:54You're a poor darling.
21:56You must be tired.
21:57Oh, exhausted.
21:58Well, never mind.
22:00Get into bed.
22:01Right.
22:08Yes.
22:11A policeman brought it round while you were at the, uh, office.
22:15Ah.
22:18Apparently they caught a burglar.
22:20Oh, that's not my suit.
22:22It looks like mine.
22:23I agree.
22:24By heavens, it is similar, isn't it?
22:25But it can't be mine.
22:26I've been wearing mine.
22:27I've just come in.
22:28Your name's inside the jacket.
22:30Is it?
22:32It seems that while you were working at the office in your underwear,
22:36this burglar found your suit in your receptionist's apartment.
22:41Oh, yes, yes.
22:42It is my suit.
22:43Of course it is.
22:45Of course.
22:46I've just remembered.
22:47I can explain that.
22:49Oh, good.
22:50Go on.
22:52Well, um, uh, a very important business friend of mine was playing strip poker.
22:56And he'd lost his clothes, you see.
22:58So he phoned me up to the office to see if he could borrow mine in order to get home.
23:02Well, well, I didn't need mine as the central heating was on, so I sent them round.
23:08He must have gone to my receptionist's place, who incidentally is going to get the sack tomorrow because I'm not
23:12having that sort of thing going on.
23:14And the burglar must have stolen them from him.
23:17So, this important business friend of yours lost his clothes twice in one night.
23:22His and yours?
23:24His and yours?
23:24Yes.
23:25He's very careless.
23:28So, he must still be round there at your receptionist's in the U.
23:31Yes, I suppose he must be.
23:33While you came home in your underwear.
23:35Yes, that's right, yes.
23:36And on the way home, a dog bit you on the neck.
23:42I'll sleep in the spare room, shall I?
23:45Yes, please.
23:45And I'll go to the office in the morning and clear out my desk?
23:48Daddy's already done it.
23:50I'll be hearing from you or your solicitors in due course?
23:53Tomorrow.
23:54And you'll want my credit cards?
23:56And the keys to the rolls.
23:58Right.
23:59Good night, dear.
24:01Good night, dear.
24:03Good night, dear.
24:22Good night, dear.
24:39Good night, dear.