00:00Here are five things that women desperately want men to understand.
00:04Most men are completely missing what their woman actually needs.
00:09Not because they don't care, but because no one actually taught them.
00:13Number one is she wants to feel chosen, not just kept.
00:18Of course I love you is not the same as making her feel loved.
00:23Effort is what makes her feel desired.
00:26Intention is what makes her feel loved.
00:28When effort and intention disappear, she starts feeling like an obligation instead of your queen.
00:34Number two is that your consistency matters more than all of your grand gestures.
00:39The flowers on Valentine's Day, they don't make up for the daily neglect.
00:43Instead of a big romantic moment, she would much rather you show up steady, present, and engaged every single day.
00:52Consistency makes her feel safe.
00:54Number three is she can feel when you're not present, even if you are physically present.
00:58You might be physically present, but emotionally and mentally, you're checked out.
01:02You're absent.
01:03You're on your phone.
01:04You're numbed out.
01:05You're not there.
01:06And she can feel it.
01:08She doesn't just want your physical presence.
01:10She wants your attention, your focus, and your energy.
01:14Half presence, it feels worse than absence.
01:17Honestly, because at least absence is honest, right?
01:19She's not expecting you to be there if you're not actually physically there, but if you're physically there, but emotionally
01:24absent, that hurts worse than you not being there at all.
01:27Number four is that when you shut down emotionally, she interprets this as abandonment.
01:32You think that going silent during conflict is you being stoic or you being calm, but she actually feels like
01:38you've left.
01:40Stonewalling triggers her nervous system in a major way, all right?
01:43Her body screams the alert, alert, alert, he's left you in this time of need.
01:48You're by yourself.
01:49Number five is she doesn't need you to fix her emotions.
01:54She needs you to hold space for them.
01:57I know I say it a lot, but it's true.
01:58When she's upset, she doesn't need a solution.
02:01She needs to feel safe and held and seen so that her emotion can simply move through her naturally, all
02:07right?
02:07She knows how to process it.
02:08She's a big girl.
02:09She's a grown woman, okay?
02:10She just needs you to be the container so she can feel what she needs to feel safely without feeling
02:16judged, without feeling rushed, without feeling like she's crazy for feeling what she's feeling.
02:22And then after that, maybe she'll be open to your solutions, all right?
02:26Sit with her, listen to her without interrupting, and hold her without trying to change her.
02:32That's what helps.
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