00:00You know, a lot of men, they don't lose their relationship because they don't love her.
00:03They lose it because love was never converted into capacity bandwidth.
00:09They can say, I love you.
00:11They can say, you matter to me.
00:13They can even understand their childhood, their attachment style, and their trauma responses.
00:19They can understand all of that.
00:20But when she asks a real question, brings pain, names a pattern, or needs repair, their nervous system hears threat
00:29instead of connection, instead of data.
00:32So they do what?
00:34They explain or defend, shut down, get irritated, disappear, or turn the whole conversation to how badly they feel.
00:42And over time, she stops feeling like she has a partner.
00:45She starts feeling like she has to manage a nervous system outside of her own that cannot stay present with
00:51hers.
00:52And that is where attraction starts dying.
00:54Not because she's cold, not because she's too demanding, because emotional safety is the minimum standard for intimacy.
01:03Love may start the bond.
01:05Capacity bandwidth protects it.
01:07And if your nervous system can't stay present under relational pressure, you don't need another promise.
01:13You need training.
01:14Does this go both ways?
01:16Yes.
