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  • 1 week ago
When a woman becomes the emotional “mother” in the relationship, love slowly disintegrates.
The exhaustion…
The resentment…
The loss of passion…

This dynamic explains more relationship pain than we realize.
And when we release it, intimacy can finally return.

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Credit: Gabor Maté on MindArchitect Podcast
Transcript
00:00This is a society where women are programmed to meet the needs of men, emotionally speaking.
00:06If the men's needs are in some ways infantile, the woman tends to take that on.
00:13And it becomes partly an adult-to-adult relationship, but partly it's a mother-child relationship.
00:20And that has two built-in problems, which occurred in my own marriage.
00:27One is it's exhausting for the woman, and it's a source of physical and mental illness, number one.
00:37Number two, the men, as much as they want that kind of mother energy, they also resent it, because they don't want to be controlled.
00:49And the women tend to get kind of...
00:51You experience that?
00:52Yeah, yeah, we experience that.
00:54On my work addiction and my shopping addiction, they really tried to control me, and I hated it.
01:01And thirdly, real children come along, and the mother energy that the woman puts into the adult male is deprived from the real children.
01:14And the fourth problem is sexual, because once I get into a mother-child relationship with a woman, no healthy guy wants to sleep with his mother.
01:28And no mother wants to sleep with their child.
01:30No healthy mother wants to sleep with her son.
01:32Yeah.
01:32So sexually, people wonder what happened to the sexuality and the passion.
01:39That's what happened.
01:40So, not to give away secrets, but if you get older, and as you get older, you let go of these childlike needs on the one hand,
01:51and these automatic mothering roles on the other, the passion can come back.
01:58Because now you're with this person that you really love, and you want to be with.
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