The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:00Who are you with?
00:20Hey, honey.
00:21Hey, baby.
00:22Oh, hey, hey, hey.
00:24Wait a minute.
00:24This is a recipe for Thanksgiving.
00:26Mm-hmm.
00:27I'm gonna start cooking in a couple of days,
00:28and I decided to get organized.
00:30Mm-hmm.
00:31And I'm gonna get rid of these index cards
00:33with stains all over them.
00:35Wait a minute.
00:35Hold on, baby, baby.
00:36These ain't no stains.
00:38This here is backup,
00:39in case you run out of the gravy.
00:40So you put it in the cup,
00:41run some hot water on it,
00:42and you suck them to help arrive.
00:44You don't do that.
00:45Yeah, when you...
00:46Hey, Vanessa, how was school?
00:47Good.
00:48I got my English paper back.
00:49Give me a pen, baby.
00:50I'll go on and sign it.
00:51You can sign it if you want.
00:53Right below the A.
00:55You see that, America?
00:56Vanessa Bro Homer.
00:57Hey!
00:58When she got here,
00:59the only thing I thought she was gonna bring home
01:00was another mouth to feed.
01:02But I put her head in those books,
01:03and I kept the pressure on,
01:04and I turned that little lump of coal into a diamond.
01:07Oh, look at that.
01:09Flawless.
01:10Grade A.
01:13Sweet!
01:16Now that's nice.
01:18Real nice.
01:20Just in time, too,
01:22for Parents Teach at Conference.
01:23So what the A parents part?
01:25Please don't make jokes tomorrow.
01:31Congrats.
01:34Damn.
01:36Hey, babe, I worked hard for that A.
01:39Honey, don't you think she deserves some of the credit?
01:44No, I don't.
01:48Hey, Rihanna, whatcha doin'?
01:50Making Thanksgiving turkeys?
01:52Yeah, Thanksgiving's great.
01:54Until you turn six.
01:56I'm six.
01:57You are?
01:58What happens when you turn six?
02:00Well, you're not a baby anymore.
02:02You have to sit at the kids table.
02:05Boy, did I hate that.
02:07You're all alone with no one to talk to,
02:09and you have to eat parts of the turkey no one wants,
02:12like the beak and the gizzard.
02:14What's a gizzard?
02:15The gizzard's the last part of the turkey.
02:17They pull out before the turkey dies,
02:19and the beak goes...
02:23I can't tell you how happy I am to meet the both of you.
02:25Vanessa is a really special girl.
02:29It's been great watching her flourish these last few months.
02:31Yes, it's been great for us too, Mr. Diggs,
02:33and we were both excited when she brought home that A.
02:36Well, in my opinion, when the child gets an A,
02:39the parents get an A too.
02:40You hear that?
02:41When a child gets an A, the parents get an A.
02:44That's an interesting idea there, Mr. Diggs.
02:47I heard him, honey.
02:49You know, I'm really looking forward to her next paper.
02:52It's a biographical essay.
02:54See, every Thanksgiving, I have the students choose the person they're most thankful for,
02:58and then learn their personal history.
03:05Bernie Mac, veteran of stage, screen, and now term paper.
03:11Where to begin?
03:13America.
03:14So many memories.
03:17So many humble achievements.
03:19Such an interesting life.
03:22It'd be good for her to really get to know her Uncle Bernie.
03:25My hopes.
03:26My dreams.
03:28And with such a fascinating subject,
03:31I wouldn't be surprised if Nessa get our first A+.
03:37That America, I am humble.
03:45Hey.
03:46What you working on, Nessa?
03:47A math homework.
03:48Math.
03:50Now you know what that remind me of?
03:52That remind me of when I grew up on Morgan Street.
03:55Here it is right here.
03:57Look.
03:59That's me when I was five years old.
04:01You can have it if you like.
04:03Thanks.
04:06Why become a comedian?
04:09Nessa, that's a good question.
04:12Time was so hard back then, Nessa.
04:14I used to use laughter to keep from crying.
04:17Uncle Bernie?
04:18Yeah.
04:19Can you pass me that pen over there?
04:24Oh, yeah.
04:29You know, that remind me of another story, girl.
04:32Uncle Bernie said there is no kid's table.
04:37Let me guess.
04:38He probably even told you the kid's table is not in the basement.
04:41The kid's table is in the basement?
04:43I'll try to sneak you some white meat.
04:45I can't promise gravy.
04:47The meat might be chewed.
04:49But I'll do my best.
04:58And that lemon tree stand 12 feet tall today.
05:05I really need to finish my homework.
05:07Oh, sure you do.
05:09I don't want to keep you from getting another A.
05:12Hey, Nessa.
05:13How about I make you chicken a la Nessa tonight?
05:16Oh, I don't eat chicken anymore.
05:18What are you talking about?
05:19I'm a vegetarian.
05:21Since when?
05:22Well, I was asking Mr. Diggs about his childhood.
05:25And he was telling me how he grew up on the farm
05:27and how cruel it was to slaughter all those animals.
05:30So, he's a vegetarian and I decided to be one too.
05:34Seems like you learned a whole lot about his personal history.
05:37Yeah.
05:37It's been really fun.
05:39I've never met anyone like him before.
05:43Give my picture back.
05:45Cut this light off and hurry up with your homework.
05:48Hey!
05:55Hey, baby.
05:56Yeah, honey.
05:56I think we got a real problem with that Mr. Diggs.
05:59What are you talking about?
06:00You loved him yesterday.
06:01See what I mean?
06:02The man's tricky.
06:03He turned Vanessa all into a vegetarian.
06:06He didn't turn her into anything.
06:08She made a decision.
06:10She ain't old enough to make no doggone decision.
06:12I'm telling you, baby, the man got too much influence on her.
06:15What we gonna do?
06:16Huh?
06:16For starters, we're gonna buy more salad.
06:20Why not?
06:21How you making jokes at a time like this?
06:23The man's supposed to be teaching her English, not brainwashing her.
06:26You already got eaten nothing but vegetables.
06:28What's next, voodoo?
06:31Oh, my God.
06:33What?
06:35You're jealous.
06:37What?
06:38Mm-hmm.
06:39Oh.
06:40A school teacher?
06:42You getting enough hair, woman?
06:44You're jealous because there's another man in her life.
06:48Honey, you're turning into a real father.
06:49You say that nonsense for your book club.
06:52Psst.
06:52Jealous?
06:56Okay.
06:57But I think it's cute.
07:00First of all, let me tell you one thing.
07:02Monkey's cute.
07:03Okay?
07:04I'm a lot of things.
07:05And jealous ain't one of them.
07:08Concern.
07:09Oh.
07:09Huh.
07:10I'm concerned.
07:12Doggone it, Wanda.
07:14Nessa and Mac.
07:15And Mac eat meat.
07:16We always have and then we always will.
07:20Okay, okay.
07:21Okay, come here.
07:23Come here.
07:24Have a seat right here.
07:28Honey, this is harmless.
07:31Hear me.
07:34I think what she needs is our support.
07:36Now, you know that girl.
07:38When you bully her, she just digs in her heels.
07:42There's that word again, America.
07:44Digs.
07:44Now, listen up.
07:46See, there's nothing wrong with brainwashing.
07:48Before Nessa came to me, her mother was messed up.
07:51Barely ever at home.
07:53I mean, that child missed 87 days of school.
07:56I washed her brain of bad habit.
07:59Turned her into an A student meat.
08:01Got her mind working all right.
08:03Now that man threatened to undo all my hard work.
08:06You know the brain fades if you're washing too much.
08:10Everybody knows that, America.
08:11Everybody knows.
08:16Everybody.
08:20So now you're vegetarian.
08:22You're eating garbage now.
08:23No, I'm composting.
08:26Making fertilizer out of trash.
08:29Mr. Diggs says that if every household had a compost heap, we'd reduce the need for landfills by 20%.
08:36Landfills?
08:36What the hell wrong with landfills?
08:38That's where they build parts.
08:42Vanessa, I found this jacket in a shopping bag next to the front door.
08:46Yeah, I wanted to return it.
08:48Hey, what the hell you want to return the jacket for?
08:50It fits real nice.
08:52It also fit the cow.
08:54Oh, let me, let me, let me get it.
08:55That's Mr. Diggs' line, right?
08:57Well, let me tell you something.
08:58Mr. Diggs is real funny, Vanessa.
08:59Well, so am I.
09:00And my funny paid for this jacket.
09:02Look, you can always return it for a store credit.
09:05What the hell I'm going to do with store credit, teen, too?
09:07Huh?
09:12So how much bacon do you want on your side, Vanessa?
09:15I don't eat bacon.
09:17Oh, so I guess I'll just have to rub it around the bowl.
09:22Fine, I won't eat it.
09:25Hey, hey, hey, I know you're not throwing your salad away, Vanessa.
09:28No, I composted it.
09:30A little meat juice ain't going to hurt you?
09:31Why do you care what I eat?
09:33I care because you're a Mac.
09:35And Macs eat meat.
09:36Not this one.
09:37Oh, you got it all figured out, huh, baby?
09:40What about Thanksgiving?
09:41Everything on the table is going to have meat in it.
09:43The stuffing is going to have meat in it.
09:44The sweet potato?
09:46This year, I'm thinking about meat potato.
09:49I'm putting meat in the water.
09:51Meat!
09:56The kids' table.
09:59Hey, Brianna.
10:01Thought I might find you down here.
10:03I wonder why I'm going to give you this.
10:04It's for beating away rats.
10:07Rats?
10:08Oh, yeah.
10:09This is around the time when all their eggs hatch.
10:11Look, there's one now!
10:12I get to die!
10:16Die!
10:21Coming.
10:24Oh, Mr. Diggs.
10:25Hi.
10:26I'm sorry to bother you at home.
10:27Is this an okay time?
10:32As good as any.
10:33Please come in.
10:35She asked to spend Thanksgiving with your family?
10:38Well, she said that since we're vegetarians, she thought she'd be more comfortable with us.
10:43I'm not surprised.
10:45So what did she say when you told her no?
10:48Actually, I haven't told her no.
10:51Hmm.
10:52That's a shame you came all the way over here in that electric car.
10:55I know you used up a lot of batteries.
10:57Look, I don't want to cause any problems.
10:59That's why I wanted to speak with you before I gave Inez an answer.
11:03Make sure we're on the same page as to how we want to handle this.
11:06We?
11:07He better be friends.
11:09We is me and Wanda.
11:10We sometimes include those kids if they've been good.
11:14We doesn't include no stiff, walking, four-eyed gun.
11:17I just want to be able to help you in any way I can.
11:21You know, as a matter of fact, I'd like to make an offer.
11:24I hope you don't think this is too presumptuous, but I'd like to invite your whole family to join us.
11:28Hell no!
11:29But I'm sick of this guy being all in Vanessa Head.
11:33See, she's impressionable.
11:34She's a little girl.
11:35She thinks she can save the planet by keeping trash on the counter.
11:39Let him try that stuff on me.
11:41That's right.
11:41Let's see how good Mr. Diggs' idea sounds when he go toe-to-toe with the magnet.
11:47We'd love to.
11:49We would.
11:54You swear you didn't make him do this?
11:57I'm telling you, it was his idea.
12:00I don't believe you.
12:03Honey.
12:04Huh?
12:05You're doing a good thing today.
12:07And obviously, I was way off base by calling you jealous.
12:11You cut me real deep, Wanda.
12:13But I'm willing to forgive you.
12:15Easy to forgive me when I cooked a whole Thanksgiving dinner that's waiting for you when you get back home.
12:21Easier.
12:22No.
12:24Where's Jordan?
12:25He's in the back.
12:26Honey, that's your golf bag.
12:29Jordan!
12:30You better be having a season.
12:32Hey, hey, hey!
12:33What do you think you're doing?
12:34I thought I'd start with the sausage stuffing.
12:37Well, get your nail butt up in that car, man.
12:38We're going to support your sister.
12:40But that's not fair!
12:41Just because I'm an asthmatic doesn't mean she has to quit gymnastics.
12:45I'm not having a vegetarian Thanksgiving.
12:48What?
12:49What'd you th-
12:50Oh, boy, that's foul.
12:54At least get a freezer bag.
12:59And a wing.
13:02Don't you think we'll get in trouble?
13:03Let me tell you something.
13:04What happens in the kitchen stays in the kitchen.
13:06You get me?
13:07Except that drumstick.
13:08It's going with us.
13:09Stock it up.
13:09Stuff it?
13:10Stuff it?
13:10Yeah, but make sure you got some meat, some chunks.
13:12I like thick meat.
13:13Put a little of all this in there.
13:15Get some roll-aids out of there, man.
13:17You know.
13:18Hurry up!
13:26And what are these?
13:28Those are meatballs.
13:30Look just like food.
13:32Oh, by the way, Mr. Diggs.
13:35I rented that movie, To Kill a Mockingbird, and you were right.
13:38It's amazing.
13:39That is one of my favorites.
13:41I'm surprised you have time to even watch a movie.
13:44It's like you always got your nose in my CDs.
13:46See, music, that's our thing.
13:48I turn it on to, I can tell you, Turner, Otis, Smokey Robinson, Aretha Franklin.
13:54Linda?
13:55I love that.
13:56You know what my real passion is?
13:57No.
13:58Jazz.
13:59Oh, and you know that CD you burned for me?
14:02Mm-hmm.
14:02I can't stop listening to it.
14:04I even brush my teeth to jazz.
14:07I've been doing that for years.
14:08I brush my teeth to jazz.
14:10Do they sound stupid to you as they do to me?
14:13Make me sick.
14:14Or maybe it's just a stinking food.
14:16I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm not touching it.
14:20I brush my...
14:23Okay.
14:24Nothing says Thanksgiving like nut low.
14:31Peanut and gravy.
14:33And raisins.
14:34Oh, that was a pebble.
14:37Johnny, come over here.
14:40Get your uncle some sugar.
14:42I love you, Uncle Bernie.
14:44Oh, isn't that sweet?
14:45Boy, I love this boy so much I can just eat him.
14:48Mm-hmm.
14:49I'm done.
14:50Come on.
14:52I saw that.
14:54I don't know what you're talking about.
14:55That's meat, isn't it?
14:57You're crazy.
15:00It's as good as everyone says.
15:02You've never had meat?
15:10First taste is free.
15:12Small piece, small piece.
15:14Take a place like Palm Springs.
15:16It's a desert with over 100 golf courses.
15:18Do you have any idea how much water and chemical fertilizer
15:22is needed to sustain all that?
15:24And how much of the natural flora and fauna are displaced
15:28just so a bunch of privileged men can chase around a ball for an afternoon?
15:31And it's really boring, too.
15:36What?
15:38Still talking?
15:39I gotta liven things up.
15:48How much have you been stressed, Mr. Diggs?
15:52So, what do you have planned for the long weekend?
15:55Anything exciting?
15:56Well, unfortunately, I've got to work.
15:59I've got about 50 Thanksgiving essays to grade back there in my office.
16:04Don't take that the wrong way.
16:05I'm looking forward to reading your paper.
16:07Of course he's looking forward to reading hers.
16:09It's all about him.
16:11Thank you for telling me about the evils of me.
16:13Thank you for being my favorite teacher.
16:16Thank you for taking me and putting a roof over my head.
16:19No, who? Wait, wait, wait. Who was that?
16:20Oh, that's me.
16:21Oh, thank you for taking me to the gymnastic press at 5 a.m.
16:25Who was that?
16:25Yeah.
16:26Yeah, me again.
16:27Oh, you get the point, America.
16:29Now it's time to Nessa get the point.
16:31Is that chair of leather?
16:34Yes, it is.
16:36I thought you were against leather.
16:38Yes, I am, but that was my grandfather's chair,
16:42and I just can't seem to bring myself to part with it.
16:45He loved his grandfather so much.
16:47Oh, that's so nice.
16:49Did you just kick me?
16:51I think Nessa's point is, what about the cow?
16:54I bet he loved his grandfather, too.
16:57Pow!
16:58Ha, you feel that, Deez?
16:59You got the bossing glove in your face.
17:01Can't come between me and Nessa.
17:02Maybe you can hold some cold nutluff over your eye.
17:04Ha!
17:08Sweet, sweet, sweet.
17:11That's a very good point.
17:13I guess all I can do is quote Walt Whitman.
17:16Do I contradict myself?
17:18Very well then, I contradict myself.
17:21I am large.
17:22I contain multitudes.
17:27What the hell was that?
17:29America, I just knocked him out.
17:31You saw it.
17:32The man is punch drunk.
17:33He's talking crazy.
17:35I contain multitude.
17:36This is a multitude of bull.
17:38I got to go.
17:38I can't take it no more.
17:40I'm sorry.
17:40Some bull.
17:43No disrespect.
17:45Give me some air.
17:50And I'll take your high tops.
17:54Deal.
17:55We call this faucet stuffing.
18:27Listen to this, America.
18:29I'm going to read you something.
18:30And I told my baby sister to go to bed and close her eyes.
18:35Everything was going to be okay.
18:37And then I closed mine.
18:39And wished there was someone there to tell me the same.
18:42I was so angry at my mother, and I thought it would break my heart.
18:46But for all that she is, and all that she could never be, I still love her.
18:51And I'm thankful to her for having the courage to let me go.
18:58She's right, America.
19:00It does take courage to let someone go.
19:06Nessa, can I talk to you for a minute?
19:24Look, maybe I shouldn't talk like I did.
19:26But I don't know the man.
19:29He putting this and that in your head, and I got suspicious.
19:32That's what you do when you care about somebody.
19:36One thing I guess I need to learn is how to trust you.
19:42You ain't no little girl no more.
19:46You don't need you smirking, you ain't no woman either.
19:51I guess what I'm trying to really say is...
20:01I'm sorry.
20:07Well, that's it. That's all I've got.
20:12Thanks.
20:17And if you like, I'll make you some of that nut food too.
20:21Can we have Tofurky instead?
20:23Cause that nut loaf is pretty hardcore.
20:29I know you're a man.
20:35I'm stinking.
20:37Come on.
20:39Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
20:42That looks like meat.
20:44It's called stuffing.
20:48Where did you go?
20:51Dirty.
20:54Don't look at me.
20:55I'm holding it for somebody.
20:57Look, the smell making my nephew sick.
20:59He got asses.
21:00Come on, I gotta get him out of here.
21:02Come on, come on.
21:04It's been great, man.
21:05I think next year you'll be at my house, okay?
21:08Hey, hey, hey.
21:09You got his medicine?
21:11Where's medicine?
21:13Get your jacket, get your jacket.
21:16I don't know.
21:18Quit wheezing, boy.
21:19I mean...
21:22Turn to Psalms 1-7.
21:26And it says right here.
21:29For he...
21:30Talking about you.
21:34Cometh, wherever you is.
21:38You can manifest as one.
21:41I mean, if it's five of y'all,
21:42if y'all think in the same mode,
21:44you can be as one.
21:47Turn to Ezekiel 7-7.
21:49.
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