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00:04It's often said that children learn their most important lessons outside the classroom.
00:12They learn to find peaceful ways to resolve conflict, to make smart choices about nutrition,
00:21to master the art of conversation.
00:27But for Gabrielle Solis, the art of morning drop-off...
00:31What's taking so long? Come on, let's go!
00:34...was something she'd never learn.
00:37You slow down, push the kid out, and drive off. Why is this so hard?
00:42You realize I have to go to this school, right?
00:44Oh, come on. I'm behind the wheelchair, kid. That's it, Juanita. Get out.
00:48I'm not allowed until we get to the green zone and a volunteer opens the door.
00:51Remember what happened last week?
00:52Yeah. Last week I made it to my hot stone massage.
00:55Just keep your head down, pretend like you don't speak English, and run.
01:09Hold it!
01:17Hi, Dana. I didn't see you there.
01:19Looks like someone didn't learn her lesson the last two times she broke the drop-off rules.
01:23Three strikes, Elise.
01:26You're out.
01:27What?
01:28Hey!
01:29I need that!
01:30Your drop-off privileges have been revoked.
01:32From now on, you'll be parking in the B-lot and walking while needed a class.
01:35The B-lot? That's like a mile away. These don't walk.
01:38They do now.
01:40Oh, yeah. Well, who died and made you boss?
01:42Margaret Fry. Cancer.
01:44Oh, right. I still owe for those flowers.
01:48Oh, relax, Pam. You'll still make it to Weight Watchers.
01:51Problem here, Dana?
01:52Oh, great. Now the pips are here.
01:54It's Celise again. She's holding up traffic.
01:57Yeah, and I'm not moving until you give me back my placard.
02:00Oh, Pam, eat a carrot!
02:02Tell you what. If you can take the placard from me, you can keep it.
02:08You know what? I'm not a child. I'm not going to give you the satisfaction.
02:17Oh!
02:19You know what, Dana? Just because you're a head of PTA doesn't mean you get to make the laws.
02:22Oh, I have news for you. Here at Oak Ridge, I am the law.
02:26Yes, some of our most important lessons are learned outside the classroom.
02:32And when it came to school politics, Gabrielle's education was just beginning.
02:41When it came to her separation, Lynette Scavo was determined to do everything by the book.
02:48She made sure her visitation days were evenly divided.
02:53She kept perfect records of her household expenses.
02:58She found healthy ways to relieve her stress.
03:03Yes, Lynette was confident her by-the-book approach was the right one.
03:08Sadly, not everyone was on the same page.
03:11Well, look who cleaned up the sad sack aisle at the bookstore.
03:15At least your divorce is good for the publishing industry.
03:17We're not using the D word. It's a separation.
03:21Tom and I are going to heal through counseling.
03:24So we can find a road to reconnection.
03:27And if not, murder on the Orient Express.
03:34Penny? Your dad's here!
03:36Explain something to me. If you're trying to win back your husband,
03:39why do you dress like you sell oranges by the freeway?
03:42Hey! Sorry I'm late. I haven't stopped at the store.
03:45Took longer than I expected.
03:47Because you taught your dog a pretty cat?
03:50Ha-ha.
03:53It's just a teeth whitener.
03:55Teeth whitening, huh?
03:57And unless sweatsuits are the new business casual,
04:00it looks like you're working out, too.
04:02I'm trying. It helps cheer me up when the kids aren't around.
04:05Daddy!
04:06I want you to get Parker at practice.
04:09I love you. Have fun.
04:10Bye.
04:11Drive safe.
04:17I've got a new book title for you.
04:20Your husband's banging somebody.
04:23What?
04:24Chapter one, white teeth.
04:27Chapter two, working out.
04:29Chapter three, the nasty.
04:31He's just trying to take better care of himself.
04:34Oh, Lynette.
04:36I expect you to be naive about hair, makeup, and fashion, but about this?
04:40Trust me.
04:41Tom has hooked up.
04:42He's not. He's not.
04:44If he was dating someone, he would tell me.
04:49He would.
04:53Right?
05:11That doesn't look too suspicious.
05:13Oh.
05:14I'm sorry. Just every time I check the mail, I'm afraid it's going to be another one of those letters.
05:18It's been three weeks. Maybe we're out of the woods.
05:21Please don't say woods.
05:22I'm just saying, if someone was trying to blackmail us, they're not very good at it, since they haven't asked
05:26for money or anything.
05:27What happened to them? Did they just disappear?
05:30If we're lucky.
05:31Now that Chuck the cop is out of your life, Susan's acting normal, I think we're in the clear.
05:37Oh, good. Here they are.
05:40Oh, Danielle and Benjamin.
05:43Fun. What's the occasion?
05:44Her husband left her.
05:46Oh, okay. Well, I'd stay and say hi, but that would involve a lot of listening and sad nodding.
05:53Oh, honey, I am so sorry about you and Leo.
05:55Thanks, Mom.
05:56Not that I didn't see it coming.
05:58That didn't take long.
05:59Neither did the marriage.
06:02So how are you holding up?
06:03My husband left me. It sucks.
06:05But you know how that feels.
06:08You just got dumped by that cop, right?
06:11Um...
06:12Actually, I am the one who ended it with Chuck.
06:14He wanted to marry me, bought me a ring.
06:17But that's not important.
06:19This week...
06:22Or weeks...
06:23Is about you.
06:24We are gonna make a plan to put your life back together.
06:26A plan? Mom, this all just happened.
06:29Give me a few days to eat ice cream and veg out.
06:32Of course, honey.
06:33I promised you on your wedding day that I would be here when he left you.
06:38You know what?
06:39Maybe we'll just crash on Andrew's floor.
06:41What? That's so uncomfortable.
06:43Not as bad as staying here and getting picked apart by you.
06:46I promise I won't criticize you.
06:50Besides, if you sleep on Andrew's floor, you'll need a tetanus shot.
06:54What?
06:55I said I wouldn't criticize you. I didn't say anything about your brother.
07:10Okay, I know that last night I said you could take all the time you need to work through what
07:14Carlos and I told you.
07:15But while you're taking all the time you need, do you think you could maybe tell me that you still
07:23love me?
07:24I mean, if you still love me?
07:31There is nothing you could do that would make me stop loving you.
07:37Mike, it was so hard to keep this from you. Like the hardest thing I've ever done.
07:42Well, at least I understand why you've been so distant.
07:46And to be honest, I'm kind of relieved you weren't having an affair.
07:49Well, now that you know, I just want everything to go back to normal.
07:56Okay, but I hope you realize it might not be that easy.
08:01Take it from a guy who's done things like this, they don't just disappear.
08:07Yeah, I know that.
08:10But I think if I focus on other stuff and move on with my life, it'll be okay.
08:16Great.
08:19And, first step, taking a painting class at the college.
08:23It's being taught by Andre Zeller.
08:27Okay, that means nothing to you.
08:29It's like I'm taking a football class from Peyton Manning.
08:33Whoa!
08:35That's just what I need.
08:36I think it'll be a great way to take my mind off everything that's happened.
08:40So, I'm gonna get my portfolio together.
08:43Mr. Zeller has to approve all his students, not that I'm worried.
08:47Oh, and Mike, from now on, I swear, no more secrets between us.
09:01Is that my school? The tiny little building way down there?
09:05We're doing faster if we just walk from home.
09:08Hey!
09:09First time in the B-lot, huh?
09:12Welcome.
09:13What are you in for?
09:14Practically nothing. I let my kid get out of the car by herself.
09:18Dana, take your placard.
09:20Yeah, but I'll get it back in a day or two.
09:23Are you kidding?
09:25She'll have you in you for the rest of the year.
09:27What? She can't do that.
09:29Oh, you want to bet?
09:30I took a cell phone call in the green zone.
09:32That was two months ago.
09:34My kid had peanut butter crackers in his lunch box.
09:37I'm looking at four to six.
09:39This is crazy.
09:40No, this is Dana.
09:41Dana the pain-a.
09:43Dana, you better not complain-a.
09:45Dana power's dropping me insane-a.
09:48Oh my God, is this what the B-lot does to you?
09:50That four kids in the flask and her purse.
09:53Well, if everyone thinks she's such a pain-a, how'd you get the job?
09:56It's an elected position. We voted for her.
09:59Well, not me. I don't vote.
10:02Alright, when's the next PTA meeting?
10:04There's one Thursday.
10:05Okay. I say we band together, storm that meeting, and go all Braveheart on Dana's ass.
10:11Who's with me?
10:14Have you guys not seen Braveheart?
10:16I know it's an old reference, but this is when you go,
10:18Yeah!
10:20Yeah!
10:22Come on. If every fat-up mom in this B-lot shows up,
10:25we can break our shackles, get our placards back.
10:27We can-oh, the movie, 300.
10:29This is Sparta!
10:32You've seen that, right?
10:35Okay, I'll see you ladies Thursday.
10:43Hmm?
10:45This is excellent work.
10:48Thank you, Mr. Zeller.
10:50Now, I know what you're thinking.
10:52Why does a professional artist who can do this want to take a painting class?
10:57That is what I'm thinking.
10:58Well, mainly because I'm a huge fan of your work.
11:01That series you did, based on Dante's Inferno, the one with the guy chewing the other guy's head off.
11:07I wish I could paint like that.
11:09You're very kind, but then again, look what you've done with these bunnies.
11:13Tell me, do you start with watercolor and then outline with a rapidograph?
11:16Actually, it's the other way around.
11:18I have a very steady hand.
11:20Oh, clearly.
11:21My compliments, Ms. Delfino. Technically, it was very impressive.
11:24Oh, thank you.
11:28So, obviously, I'm in.
11:30No. Obviously, you're out.
11:35What?
11:36Don't get me wrong, you're a fine illustrator, but this isn't what I call art.
11:40Excuse me, but my paintings have been in dozens of books, some of them bestsellers.
11:45Perhaps you've heard of Dr. Porcupine?
11:48He has a very prickly bedside manner.
11:50Right. See, when you say art, you mean a hedgehog with a stethoscope.
11:54And to me, art means reaching down your throat, tearing your guts out, and spreading it all over canvas.
12:00Anger, passion, that's what interests me.
12:03Well, Dr. Porcupine loses a patient and kills a hooker doesn't have the same ring to it.
12:08I'm looking for serious students in the media.
12:11You're a bored housewife trying to kill time between spin class and driving your kid to soccer practice.
12:16Hey, that's not fair.
12:17Uh, just because I've done children's books doesn't mean I can't do anything else.
12:22Really? Do you have any work that reflects what I've been talking about?
12:26Of course I do.
12:29I'll bring it in tomorrow.
12:33I would bring it in now, but I have to pick up my son.
12:36From prison.
12:40In 1985, musician Bob Geldof organized a benefit concert to fight famine in...
12:45There you are! Though I don't know why I'm surprised. It's where you've been the last three days.
12:50Guatemala! It's Guatemala!
12:52Loser.
12:53Ethiopia is correct! Congratulations!
12:57Well, given that you won't be making your fortune off game shows,
13:01perhaps it's time we had that talk about your future.
13:04Mom, I'm still healing. My marriage fell apart. You, of all people, should know how that feels.
13:09Yes, and I sat in that same chair, healing, and eventually turned into a raging alcoholic.
13:14Oh, man. Mine sounds really good right now. We should get a bottle.
13:19What? You can't even have a sip?
13:21No! Now you need to think about putting your life back together, getting a job.
13:25You have a son to consider.
13:28Oh, jeez!
13:30I found you!
13:31Now go hide, and we'll play again.
13:36One, two, three...
13:39Okay, there is something I've been thinking about doing.
13:41Oh! What job? Retail? Waitressing?
13:45Better. My own business.
13:48I designed this exercise equipment, and I think I could sell it on the internet.
13:53Danielle, what do you know about starting a business?
13:55I already have the design, and I wrote up a business plan. I think it could really work. All I
14:00need is a little seed money. Say, $5,000.
14:03$5,000?
14:04Well, I need the supplies, and I have to rent a place to work out of.
14:09I will give you $500, and you can use the test kitchen.
14:13Seriously?
14:15Mom, thank you so much. This means a lot to me.
14:18Well, I am very proud of you. And you know what? You are setting a wonderful example for Benjamin.
14:23Ow, crap.
14:25Ready or not, here I come!
14:31Hey!
14:31Sorry I'm late. I hope you don't mind if I have my lunch while we go over our schedules.
14:35That's lunch?
14:36Protein shake. Just trying to stay, uh, lean and mean.
14:41I did that once. All I got was mean.
14:44Hey, I had to move my meeting to Wednesday afternoon. Think you can pick up the kids? I'll cover Penny's
14:50orthodontist on Friday?
14:51Sure. And Saturday, Parker has that birthday. Since that's your day, you can have him longer on Sunday, if you
14:58want.
14:59Great. Yeah.
15:01That is everything on my end. You?
15:03Um, I heard back from that couples counselor. She can squeeze us in Thursday at 6 o'clock.
15:09I mean, if you still want to go to therapy.
15:14Absolutely.
15:16I can make Thursday work.
15:18Good. I'll book the appointment.
15:22Hello?
15:25Hey.
15:28Hey, can I call you back?
15:32Okay, hold on a sec.
15:35Um, this is a work thing. Is there anything else you need from me?
15:38Uh, no.
15:41I will.
15:43I will. See you Thursday.
15:44Okay.
15:47Hey, sorry about that.
15:56Let me get this straight, Jill. For back-to-school night appetizers, you're suggesting pretzels?
16:01What are we, a public school?
16:05Hey, sorry. Did you guys know there was an AA meeting in the gym?
16:08I sat through five. I left my kid in the car while drinking stories before I realized I was in
16:12the wrong place.
16:13Donut?
16:17Gabrielle Solis.
16:18What brings you to your first ever PTA meeting?
16:23Same thing that brought our founding fathers to wherever they went when all that crap happened with England.
16:30Freedom?
16:31Freedom?
16:32Yeah, that's right. Freedom to oppose an unjust ruler and her unjust placard-stealing ways.
16:38We are here to tell you your reign of terror is over.
16:41Right, girls?
16:44Guys! Come on!
16:47Melissa!
16:48Have you forgotten about the blood blister you got hiking from the bee lot?
16:52And you!
16:53Other woman!
16:54You were 20 minutes late to your manicure.
16:56Show them your hands.
16:59This can't go on.
17:02She's right.
17:03Yeah.
17:05Tell her, Gabby.
17:06According to your sacred rule book, which by the way is a snore fest,
17:09a group of five parents can seek a vote of no confidence in a president.
17:16So, guess I'll be taking that vote now.
17:20Melissa?
17:21Rachel?
17:23You sure you want to do this?
17:30Now, it's an obvious bribe.
17:33Well, it worked.
17:35What?
17:42Guess we won't be having that vote after all.
17:45So what?
17:46What more can you do to me?
17:48I already park in the bee lot.
18:01Nice, Mom.
18:11Hello?
18:12Mom.
18:13I asked you not to come in here.
18:15I am not staying. I just thought my little entrepreneurs could use some lemonade.
18:22So, this is it. The big internet startup.
18:25Yes, and for your information, as soon as we put up the site, they started selling like crazy.
18:31Over 200 of them.
18:32Well, I stand corrected. Good for you.
18:35So, how exactly does this exercise equipment work?
18:38Well, it kind of incorporates Pilates and stretching.
18:42It's really more for serious athletes.
18:46That might be another order. I should get that.
18:48But, could you take Benjamin to go get some lunch?
18:50Of course, Benji.
18:56Hello, Ecstasy Sex Swing. We put the swing back in your sex life.
19:00Yes, it can sport up to 300 pounds.
19:03And we guarantee maximum pleasure for you and your partner.
19:08Ready?
19:10Ta-da!
19:12Is this for me?
19:13Unless you know another Penny Scavo with an incredibly generous mom.
19:18Look, even as a camera.
19:20Cool!
19:21But my birthday was last month.
19:22I know. But this way, when you're at your dad's, we can video chat.
19:27Like, when you need help with homework or even having trouble with math.
19:31No, I haven't.
19:32Well, you might. So, bring it. Okay?
19:43Hey, sweetie. Long time no see.
19:45Mom, you just dropped me off.
19:48Really? Feels like forever.
19:50The gum you gave me in the car still has flavor.
19:52Well, I miss you.
19:54Actually, since you called.
19:56We're multiplying mixed fractions and I'm kind of-
19:58I know what you mean. Can you move your head?
20:00Uh, sure.
20:02So, do I need to come and denominate your-
20:04Honey, the sun's creating a glare. Would you mind turning your screen? It's just a scooch.
20:09Okay.
20:11Ooh. Dad's new place looks nice.
20:14Yeah, it is.
20:15Hey! You know what might be fun? Why don't you give me a tour?
20:19Just turn your tablet around and scan the room.
20:25Uh, big screen TV. There's a 9.0 on the predictability scale.
20:31Empty pizza box. Dirty plate. Dirty glass.
20:34It's nice. He's kept the same decorating scheme.
20:37My arm's getting tired.
20:38A little longer. Think light thoughts.
20:42Stop. Go back.
20:43I want to see your dad's new, lovely curtains.
20:49Wow.
20:50They're nice.
20:52But they seem a little young for him.
20:56Who is that?
20:58That's Chloe. She lives in the building. She's really nice.
21:03Apparently.
21:06So, is Chloe around a lot?
21:09Sometimes.
21:10She teaches a booty burn ballet class, so she's mostly at the fitness center.
21:15Hey, Mom. Dad's got black toilets. You want to see them?
21:18No. Thanks. I've seen enough.
21:21Okay. So, when I multiply these fractions-
21:23Okay, sweetie. I love you.
21:31Oh, it's different.
21:33Mm-hmm.
21:34What does this mean to you?
21:36Loneliness. Isolation.
21:39Not long ago, this tree was lush and green.
21:43But now it's, uh, lost its leaves and winter's ahead.
21:49And it's just doing what it can to survive.
21:55So, let me guess. You're the tree.
22:02Okay. You're mocking me again.
22:05Oh, goodbye.
22:06Hold on. We're having an artistic dialogue here.
22:09I bet your night went something like this.
22:11You went home and asked yourself,
22:12How do I prove to Andra Zeller that I'm deep?
22:16So, you dug down through the cupcakes and the throw pillows and the once a week sex of your life
22:21to your very core.
22:23And you found this sad little tree.
22:26And it's so profound.
22:28Because the tree's lonely, just like I am now that Oprah's off the air.
22:35How dare you?
22:36You don't know anything about me.
22:38What's to know?
22:39You're shallow.
22:40And your work is shallow.
22:42And God bless you.
22:42Because if I had your life, I'd be painting bunnies too.
22:45You want everything to be nice and pretty.
22:46You're afraid of ugly.
22:48You think I'm afraid of ugly?
22:54You want ugly?
22:57There.
22:58There's some ugly for you.
23:00You want passion?
23:02Well, here you go.
23:03There's passion.
23:04Passion all over the place.
23:06You know, I am not some shallow soccer mom.
23:08I have done things that you can't believe.
23:10I have anger.
23:12And I have pain.
23:16I have secrets in me that I wish I could get rid of and I can't.
23:24It's fine.
23:25You know, you've made your mind up about me.
23:27So screw your class.
23:29Screw your medium.
23:31Screw you!
24:08Ah, there you are.
24:09Hey, do you have a recipe for...
24:12Oh.
24:13Congratulations.
24:15For what?
24:17Well, I didn't know you and Chuck were back together.
24:19We're not.
24:20Well, then why are you wearing a sex swing?
24:24A what?
24:26Oh, no.
24:28This is, uh, Danielle's new business.
24:30She's making exercise equipment.
24:33Uh, yeah.
24:34For a very specific kind of exercise.
24:41Sex swing.
24:43I've never even heard of such a thing.
24:50Now, don't try this one if you get dizzy easily.
24:53Mom?
24:55Exercise equipment?
24:57When I get out of this, you are in so much trouble.
25:00I'll write you a check later.
25:03The sex swing in my test kitchen?
25:05Do you realize I used to make people wear hair nets in here?
25:09Danielle, I am very disappointed in you.
25:11Gosh, where have I heard that before?
25:13Oh, don't you try to turn this around on me!
25:15For the first time in my life, I've found something that I'm good at.
25:19And that's successful.
25:20And that's still not good enough for you.
25:22You just live to judge me.
25:25Danielle?
25:27Danielle, where are you going?
25:31I'm telling you, it was bad.
25:34Andre probably called the loony bin and they're on their way here right now with a butterfly net.
25:38It's okay, babe.
25:39No, it's not.
25:40I just ran out of there.
25:42I forgot my portfolio.
25:45I don't know what the hell came over me.
25:49Susan, I know how badly you want what happened in the woods to go away.
25:53But I have to tell you the truth.
25:55It's not going to.
25:57It's part of you.
25:59No.
26:02I don't want it to be.
26:03I don't want it to be either.
26:05Just like I don't want my dark stuff to be part of me, but it is.
26:09Mike, please, please stop saying this.
26:12I'm trying to protect you.
26:15If you can accept this as part of you,
26:20maybe you can figure out how to live with it.
26:23But if you don't,
26:26that's when it jumps out without warning.
26:30And trust me,
26:33that's a bad way to live.
26:42So,
26:44things are never going to be the way they were?
26:47Things
26:49are how they are.
26:56You okay?
26:57Mommy, will you check my math worksheet?
26:59It's really hard.
27:03Sure, sure, honey.
27:21In case you're wondering how I got here,
27:23the UPS man heard my cries and cut me down.
27:27It's nice to say we're FedEx people now.
27:30Look, I know you think that I am judgmental.
27:33Think?
27:34Danielle, you should have gone to college.
27:36Danielle, you dress like a street walker.
27:38Danielle, I knew your marriage wouldn't last.
27:41Yeah, a little bit.
27:43What I was going to say is you're right.
27:46Why are you admitting this?
27:48Because I thought about what you said,
27:50and I realized I am far from perfect.
27:52I have no right to be so critical.
27:55Okay, now you're freaking me out.
27:57Did something happen?
28:00Just know that a certain recent event made me aware that I am in no position to judge you or
28:07anyone else.
28:09What are you talking about?
28:12It doesn't matter.
28:13The point is...
28:16Can you forgive me?
28:19Wow.
28:21That's like the first time you've ever said that.
28:27And...
28:28Yes, I forgive you.
28:30And to prove that I am sincere,
28:33I would like to invest in your business and support you in making those disgustingly happy swings.
28:39You mean like a silent partner?
28:42A silent, invisible, completely untraceable partner who supports you from far, far away.
28:51I love you, sweetie.
28:53I love you, too.
28:58Now, go pack up your sex factory and I will bake us some cookies.
29:07You're about to paint a hundred bad paintings.
29:10So let's get those out of the way so you can start painting the good ones.
29:16What are you doing?
29:17Uh, I forgot my portfolio.
29:21Sit down.
29:23Excuse me?
29:24Sit down. You're late.
29:28Um...
29:29Does that mean you're letting me join the class?
29:31For now.
29:33But that woman who showed up yesterday, the crazy one,
29:36she better be here every single day.
29:40Um...
29:41I don't know if I like that woman. She scares me.
29:45Good.
29:48Okay.
29:50I want you to start by forgetting everything you heard about brush technique.
29:53I've seen your painting and either you heard it wrong,
29:56or it was wrong.
30:03Hey!
30:04Are you ready for a walk?
30:05Actually, change of plans. I thought we'd go to that booty burn ballet class at the fitness center.
30:09What's going on?
30:11Nothing. Can't a woman just want to burn her booty?
30:15Fine, I think you're right about Tom seeing someone. She's an aerobics teacher.
30:19Of course she is. Cliche much?
30:21So I'm thinking I'll go to her class and I'll...
30:24Actually, I don't know what the hell I'm thinking.
30:26You're thinking you want to spy on this woman and see what she's like.
30:28Then key her car on the way out. It's perfectly natural.
30:31So I'm not crazy?
30:32I shouldn't just be direct and ask Tom if he's seeing something.
30:35Why? So he can lie to you through his unnaturally white teeth?
30:38Okay then.
30:39I guess we're going.
30:41Booty burn ballet. I think we can do this.
30:44Oh, please. How hard can it be?
30:47Am I the only one about to pass out?
30:50No. I keep seeing my dead grandfather at the end of the tunnel saying,
30:54Come toward the light.
30:55Keep going, ladies. Keep your eyes on the thighs.
30:59Did she just use a civil rights rallying cry to get us to lose ass fat?
31:04First time, huh?
31:05What gave me away? The fact that this was light blue when I came in?
31:09Well, the good news is, if you have a heart attack, I'm a doctor.
31:13The bad news is, if you have one, I'm not.
31:16Okay. So if I die, please put me ass up in the coffin.
31:21I'd hate for all this work to go to waste.
31:23On your feet, ladies.
31:26Okay. We've checked out the competition. Can we go now?
31:29No. I want to talk to her.
31:31Okay, everybody. Time to work those quads.
31:36I don't know why I hate more right now, you or her.
31:38Fifty lunges. Jump toward your skinny, skinny future.
31:42And we have a winner.
31:49Hi, it's Mrs. Solis. Can you tell Sean I'm running about 20 minutes late for my brow waxing appointment?
31:55What? He can't hold it for me?
31:58But I've got caterpillars over my eyes.
32:01Fine. I'll be there in five minutes. Juanita, get back in the car.
32:06We're going drop off.
32:16Gabby, what are you doing?
32:18You can't be in the carpool lane without a placard.
32:20Don't give a crap. It's time somebody talk Dana a lesson.
32:23We need to break the back of our oppressor.
32:34Mobilize the cones!
32:41Get out, Sweeney. Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
32:56Never gonna get that eyebrow wax.
33:04Again, Dana, I am so sorry.
33:07On the upside, that cast is so slimming.
33:10It's like a hard Spanx.
33:13Gabby, there's a reason I asked to see you.
33:16You wanted to give me my placard back.
33:19No.
33:20Could you hand me those painkillers?
33:24Just wanted to bring you up to date on some school-related news.
33:27Given my condition, they've informed me that I'm no longer able to carry out my duties as PTA president.
33:34That's a bummer.
33:35Yes, it is.
33:38The bylaws state I'm to appoint an acting president.
33:42And I've made my decision.
33:45Me?
33:47Wait, you hate me.
33:48Very perceptive.
33:50That'll serve you well as PTA president.
33:53Okay, wait. Why are you doing this?
33:56Let me tell you what I was like before I took this job.
33:59I was fun.
34:00I drank at school functions.
34:02My boob fell out at the holiday party.
34:04I still had a husband.
34:07So what turned you into this?
34:09The job did.
34:10And it's going to do the same to you.
34:13Yeah, no time for manicures because you'll be planning the winter gala.
34:18No more seeing your husband because you'll be organizing the bake sale.
34:21And no more friends because you'll always be hitting them up for something.
34:27While as attractive as your little revenge fantasy sounds I'm going to pass,
34:30then I guess I'm going to have to go ahead and press charges.
34:35What are you talking about? It was an accident.
34:38I have witnesses who heard you say you were going to break my back.
34:43And I do have a broken back.
34:53So, the winter gala.
34:55It's in the winter, right?
35:00That's interesting.
35:00Interesting. So, really, you have three careers.
35:03You're an aerobics instructor, aromatherapist, and a lingerie model.
35:07Well, lingerie modeling is more of a hobby than a career.
35:10But when God gives you these...
35:12Right. Are you sure God gave you those?
35:16I'm just kidding. Just kidding. It's nice talking to you, Chloe.
35:20Ready to go?
35:20Yes. So?
35:22Well, obviously, I'm not thrilled to look at her, but it could be worse.
35:26How?
35:27She could look like that and have a single thought in her head.
35:31I mean, there's no way Tom's ever going to get serious about a woman like that.
35:34Yeah. She's just a fling. A palate cleanser.
35:37The sorbet you eat between courses. I'm really sorry I said that.
35:42I give the whole thing three weeks.
35:45Lynette?
35:47Hey! Tom! What's... What's going on?
35:52I'll meet you at the car.
35:53Okay.
35:56What are you doing here?
35:59I know.
36:01Know what?
36:04Okay. We just had dinner a couple of times. There's nothing going on.
36:13Whatever.
36:16So is this how you're going to be spending your free time now?
36:19Spying on me?
36:20Well, that's a brilliant strategy, Tom.
36:22Act like I'm the one in the wrong.
36:23You're the one dating the underwear model.
36:25What are you talking about?
36:30Chloe? I'm not dating Chloe.
36:32Geez, Lynette. Give me a little credit.
36:34Then who have you been having dinner with? Why are you here?
36:36I am picking up Jane, Chloe's mom.
36:45Like I said, it's just a couple of dinners and coffee.
36:49Oh, it's coffee now? God, Tom, when were you going to tell me this?
36:54Thursday, in counseling.
36:58You ready to go?
36:59Yeah.
37:02Lynette, we'll talk about this Thursday, right?
37:04What's the point?
37:08Yes, we often learn our most important lessons outside the classroom.
37:17The painful truth about the state of a relationship.
37:23The ugly cost of challenging authority.
37:28The sad fact that life's colors aren't always rosy.
37:35Then there are those who refuse to accept these important lessons.
37:40They simply wait for the chance to teach a lesson of their own.
37:49Don't tell me you're still stewing about that redhead.
37:53Well, I'm not a big fan of getting let on and humiliated.
37:57So, yeah, I'm not...
37:58I don't think I'm letting go of this one yet.
38:00Suit yourself.
38:02I got some missing person reports here for you.
38:05Just throw some over there.
38:17I got some missing people.
38:17Hello.