00:10Hi, Ted!
00:11Hello?
00:12Hello, Waldo.
00:13Waldo.
00:14Do you want to be the usher?
00:15Yeah.
00:17I thought you worked with the airport team.
00:19I did it, but they fired me when they saw me steering a jumbo jet towards the starting runway.
00:27Hold on here, trick.
00:49And remember that if we have a water landing, your seat cushion may become a float.
00:56Thank you, Waldo.
00:57You're welcome, babe.
01:07Thank you, Waldo.
01:08Wow, this is fantastic.
01:11Yes, come to a C&C and Music Factory concert.
01:14I mean us, you and me, without Steve Urkel.
01:20You'll say still without Steve Urkel.
01:21He has followed us on all our outings.
01:23He doesn't give up.
01:25Do you know what he needs?
01:26A reason for him to stop bothering me.
01:32We could introduce you to a girl.
01:34What are you saying, Ted?
01:35Who would be willing to go out with Steve?
01:37My cousin Mayra would be willing.
01:40Really?
01:41What's wrong with him?
01:44Nothing.
01:45She likes talented boys.
01:47That sounds good to me, but there's a problem.
01:49Steve is obsessed.
01:54I'll take a look if you don't mind, bro.
01:57At the little corner.
02:05Have you seen Susan Chanels?
02:08Hey, guys.
02:09Can you let me through, please?
02:12Don't worry.
02:13Be happy.
02:14Peace be with you.
02:19Hey, baldy.
02:20Did you used to drive a blue car?
02:23Yes, but why do you say "used to"?
02:25Why are you watching, bro?
02:35Household items.
02:42It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper page.
02:50A loving tradition of the grand design, some people say, is even difficult to find.
03:13Thanks for watching!
03:27I love you, you don't love me, and she wants me to love her.
03:32Hey, beautiful.
03:34Get rid of that sucker and join me.
03:37Steve! That's enough!
03:40You stuck a hairpin in me!
03:44Hurkel!
03:48My Toyota is not on fire.
03:54Go home, Hurkel.
03:55I paid for the ticket.
03:56I said home.
03:58Calm down!
03:59Go home! Go home! Go home!
04:07I don't have to put up with this.
04:09I'm going home!
04:12My things, please.
04:31Invoices, invoices, invoices, invoices!
04:34Hi, Judy!
04:35Hello!
04:36What's wrong, honey?
04:38I'm cannon fodder.
04:40Do you remember that beautiful dress of Mom's that sparkled?
04:43The one with the sequins?
04:44Yeah.
04:45I picked it up and put it on.
04:47And since I got it a little dirty, I thought of putting it in the washing machine.
04:50And did it break?
05:11And did it break?
05:20I'll explain everything to you.
05:22You're great.
05:26Hey, Dad!
05:27Can you lend me twenty bucks?
05:29Twenty turkeys?
05:30Edward, do you see this pile of envelopes?
05:34These are not fan letters.
05:36They are invoices.
05:38I'll leave it at fifteen.
05:41Edward, do you see this bill?
05:44It's from the insurance company.
05:47Four hundred dollars for your car insurance.
05:50Wow!
05:51That's a lot of money.
05:53Wow, you said it!
05:53I wouldn't pay for it.
05:55Ah, Edward!
05:57You're always complaining that I treat you like a child.
06:01Well, I'm going to give you an adult responsibility.
06:04From now on you will start paying part of your car insurance.
06:09But, Dad!
06:09Yes, but he's a dad.
06:10Your car insurance is four hundred dollars.
06:13I want you to pay at least a quarter of it with your salary.
06:18But that's sixty bucks!
06:21It's a hundred, it didn't work, son.
06:23Dad, do you know how many times I have to say
06:26What was a little mustard on his burger to earn two nachos?
06:30No.
06:31But tell the story.
06:33The guys at the police station love those statistics.
06:36Yes of course!
06:37Laugh!
06:38But you know what?
06:40I didn't look for that job to be responsible,
06:43but to impress the girls.
07:09Where is my little girl?
07:10Thanks for coming, Steve.
07:12Oh, sorry I'm late.
07:13I went to the optometrist.
07:15My pupils dilated and everything looks very blurry.
07:24A new hairstyle?
07:30Steve, I'm here.
07:36Okay, so what do you want to tell me, huh?
07:44I have tickets for the Daycoz concert and I want you to come.
07:47Oh, yes!
07:48Yes, yes!
07:511,200 times, yes!
07:55This is the greatest day of my life.
07:59Ted is coming too.
08:03Well, usually three or a crowd, but in this case...
08:06The three of us are not going alone.
08:08Ted is going to bring his cousin Mayra.
08:12Well, in some inland regions of the country,
08:15Those things are acceptable.
08:17But here in the city there are rules and protocols...
08:21What is Steve?
08:23Oh, my dear!
08:24What do we care?
08:25whether two or a thousand people join us
08:30As long as we are united?
08:34Laura?
08:35Are you open?
08:39You're getting skin and bones.
08:48Listen, it's a double date.
08:50I'll go with Ted and you'll go with Mayra.
08:52Ted has told him a lot about you.
08:53And despite that, he's eager to meet you.
08:57One moment!
08:59It's a clear attempt to pin another woman on me at all costs.
09:03It won't work in a million years.
09:07Please, Steve.
09:08Oops!
09:13It touched me a little.
09:30This one's for you, beautiful.
09:32And this one's for Misery.
09:36Her name is Mayra.
09:39Oh, really?
09:39Well, write it on your face.
09:41Because that's the only place I'll look all night.
09:44Steve, give it a chance.
09:46Who knows?
09:46Maybe you'll like it.
09:47Ah!
09:48That would surprise me.
09:55Hello.
10:05Mayra, this is Laura.
10:06Nice to meet you.
10:07Hello.
10:07And this is Steve, whom I already told you about.
10:10Hi, Steve.
10:11Hello.
10:12I'm sure you know that Mayra was a seaport in the ancient battle.
10:16Oh, yes!
10:17And I'm sure you know that Steve comes from Esteban,
10:20the first king of Hungary.
10:25Of course.
10:29And this is Purbu.
10:31Oh, they're beautiful!
10:33I love ranunculus!
10:35And this beautiful cataract caerulea!
10:39That?
10:41Buttercup and Cupid's arrow.
10:44Open a book!
10:49Come on, guys.
10:50It's best if we leave.
10:51Open up, my little old port!
10:54Thank you, my handsome Estefanos!
11:00What a sexy snort!
11:16Yeah!
11:27Hello darling.
11:28What's that?
11:28The water bill.
11:30The good news is that Richie has volunteered not to take a bath.
11:34Ah!
11:35That's team spirit.
11:38One moment.
11:40Are you going to pay Eddie's share of his car insurance?
11:42Yes, he met a girl and he's going to take her out to dinner.
11:45Don't worry, he promised to give it back to me.
11:51It's a shame to be spoiling Eddie.
11:54Carl, did you say I'm spoiling Eddie?
11:57Since you mention it...
11:58Carl, I'm just helping him.
12:01Harriet, that's not helping her.
12:03Eddie has to be responsible.
12:05And how can it be if you're with him like a mother hen?
12:09Calm down!
12:09I'm not going to calm down.
12:11This is very important.
12:15Carl, let's get down to brass tacks about the HEIs.
12:18Do you think that if our children have problems we should just let them deal with them on their own?
12:21Of course.
12:22Otherwise, how are they going to learn?
12:23Without exceptions?
12:24Without exception.
12:25And why are you covering for Judy?
12:26Whom?
12:28You told me my sequined suit got ruined at the dry cleaners.
12:31But you didn't tell me that Judy was the culprit.
12:35My helping Judy is different from you helping Eddie.
12:39Look at it.
12:39Because?
12:41You shouldn't know about Judy.
12:44Carl, our daughter is conscious.
12:46He came and confessed everything to me.
12:49I understand.
12:50Well, I'm going to have to talk to her.
12:53And if anyone, playing with two decks.
12:57Carl, let's admit it.
12:59Edward has always taken whatever he wanted from me.
13:03And you're drooling over Judy and Laura.
13:07I think you're right.
13:09Yes, yes.
13:10When I scold her, they look at me with their little eyes and I just melt.
13:13That's not bad, honey.
13:16Our children need to be responsible, but they also need to know that we will help them.
13:21You know what?
13:23You are a very serious woman, Mrs. Winslow.
13:26Oh, thank you, Mr. Winslow.
13:28I think we make a great couple.
13:30I mess things up and you fix them again.
13:34Honey, don't go overboard.
13:36I do bad things too.
13:39I can't think of any examples, but I suppose I'll do something bad someday.
13:56They are good locations.
13:58Wow, I bought them.
14:00No, they're good because I'm sitting next to you.
14:05Ladies and gentlemen, YWJT of 0.468 Radio and the Chicago Concert Series, we can't believe it!
14:14Introducing the sultan of the saxophone, Dave Coff, sponsored by Tortoya.
14:31Laura, you look fabulous tonight.
14:36Incredible.
14:38Laura is too smart to swallow that stuff.
14:43Ted, are you that sweet?
14:51I hope Laura doesn't notice the wart I have behind my eye.
14:59Nice bow tie.
15:00Oh, thank you, they sell them ready-made.
15:03Why did I say that?
15:05Is it a crime to let her believe I make a bow tie?
15:13I wonder if Laura has noticed the wart you have behind your ear.
15:19Let's see.
15:21If Ivana Trump were to marry the Diamond, she would be Ivana Diamond.
15:32Does it matter to you?
15:34Of course not.
15:36Oh, oh, they almost caught me staring at his wart.
15:46I wish Steve would put his arm around my shoulders.
15:50Maybe I should cheer him up a little.
15:55Oh my God, I put on deodorant.
16:00Yes, and as fresh as a forest.
16:05Shouldn't I put my arm around her shoulders?
16:11Go for it, champ.
16:22I really like it.
16:26She likes it.
16:28She likes it.
16:30She likes it.
16:34But if Ivana Trump were to divorce Benel Diamond and marry Jack Niclau,
16:39She would be Ivana Diamond Niclau.
16:46Laura, isn't that romantic?
16:49Of course.
16:57Maíra, isn't that romantic?
17:02Of course.
17:24Stop the music.
17:26Stop the music.
17:32Esti, what are you going to do?
17:35I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
17:37I am Steve Furkel.
17:39I am guilty of emotional adultery.
17:48Ever since I started going to the guard duty,
17:50I have loved a girl.
17:53Always the same.
17:54To the lovely Laura Winslow.
17:57Get up, guayabera, let's go.
18:01Stand up and show off that body.
18:08Isn't it the wonder of wonders?
18:10Hey?
18:11Hey?
18:11Hey?
18:13Hey?
18:19In a perfect world,
18:22Laura and I would make a couple,
18:25Peter and Wilma,
18:26a couple.
18:27And yet,
18:29This is not a perfect world.
18:31And Laura is here with another man.
18:36Get up, handsome.
18:42Ted isn't a bad guy,
18:44But it has two things that I don't have.
18:46My girlfriend
18:47and a nasty wart behind the ear.
18:56And cough, ladies and gentlemen!
18:59Of and cough!
19:06Hey,
19:08You're going to finish this once and for all.
19:09I've come to give a concert.
19:11Hang in there a little longer, my friend.
19:13Laura and Ted fixed it
19:15so that I could go out with this charming and intelligent girl.
19:19Get up, Mayra,
19:20and say hello.
19:29That's enough.
19:34She is a charming and sweet young woman.
19:37But however charming she may be,
19:40My heart will always belong to...
19:44beloved Laura.
19:50Laura Wisman.
19:52The girl with the smile that can light up
19:55the darkest corners of my heart.
20:01Her bright eyes
20:04They dazzle me with the eternal promise
20:06of a happy morning.
20:13Her red lips
20:15that if they kissed me they would erase
20:16the sadness of my lonely soul.
20:21Tonight
20:23I have been tempted
20:24because of the effervescent personality
20:26and the song of another woman.
20:29And for God's sake
20:30that I almost succumbed.
20:32But I must declare
20:33that all of you
20:35They are my witnesses
20:36that never again
20:38I have gone astray
20:39And I never will.
20:41But I'm going to double down
20:42my efforts
20:43to win Laura's heart.
20:45Hoping to be able to win
20:47his resignation
20:48and finally listen
20:49those three
20:50magic words
20:52for which I have waited
20:53my entire existence.
20:55Me
20:56You have won.
21:12Me
21:12me
21:13me
21:13me
21:14me
21:14me
21:14m
21:14my
21:14Thank you!
21:44He's already dead.
21:46I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him.
21:53I think I impressed Laura tonight.
21:56Yes, she loves me.
22:01I'm sorry I had to hurt Mayra.
22:03After tonight, I'll never forgive myself.
22:10I love Steve. I know he's not very big physically, but I bet his brain is huge.
22:20I don't know what he sees in Laura, but I swear I won't stop until he's mine.
22:27Thank you!
22:32And if Ivana Trump divorces Nell Diamond and Jan and Clau and marries Ron Dali,
22:38She will be Ivana Diamond and Clau Dali.
22:42Thank you!
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