00:00You
00:05In what so what let me see
00:08Fridge, I can't I can't fucking read dude open the goddamn thing so I can read it
00:15I sell fridges, okay show it to everybody
00:25So you were prepared for this shit I
00:27Got you four years ago. How what do you really do? What's your thing?
00:34You working self one?
00:39Selfridges I don't understand
00:44This accent is crazy. It was nice talking to you
00:50Selfie reach thanks
00:52You sell perfume I
01:01Mean you got a very edgy look the last thing I thought you'd be in the mall smells amazing
01:07You like the smell this mall said
01:11You're so freaking sensitive
01:13You're such a wuss
01:19Four years later you buy front row tickets
01:22Buy a t-shirt
01:23I said fridges
01:28You are the epitome of a dude will teller
01:30If anybody needs to use the restroom, please don't feel bad girl
01:36A lot of people hold their piss in my show. They're scared to get up
01:41Where you going lady? What are you doing?
01:49Are you going to piss on my thing on backstage? You're going to piss backstage were you what were you thinking?
01:56This has never happened in the history of theater in the history of theater nobody on the audience got up and walked on stage
02:12And walked on stage
02:14Excuse me Betty's the bathroom
02:15How entitled
02:17How entitled
02:19That was mind boggling
02:21That was mind boggling
02:23Get up and go find the bathroom
02:25What is this?
02:27What is this?
02:29Are you kidding me?
02:31Excuse me Betty's bathroom
02:33Not there
02:35What the
02:37What the
02:39The stage manager is shocked
02:44Come here
02:46Come here
02:47This is my stage manager everybody
02:49Give him a round of applause
02:53Buddy come
02:54What did she say?
02:57What did she say?
02:58How did she come this way?
03:00And then she just walked away?
03:01Oh my god
03:04I think the Persian girls are not going to come back
03:07I swear
03:08I swear
03:10I think they were like
03:11Oh my god
03:12This is so embarrassing
03:14Kid is so fast
03:16Can't believe he made fun of him
03:19It shouldn't normally take that long
03:23Right?
03:26Oh, oh, oh, oh
03:29Hold on
03:30There is a lady here has no idea what's happening
03:38She just screamed
03:39She just screamed
03:40Say it in Farsi
03:43Contain yourself
03:44Turn on your Google Translate
03:48Google Translate my love
03:49I don't speak English
03:51I don't speak English
03:54So far you're doing a great job
03:57The show is in English my love
03:59I love you
04:01I love you
04:02I love you
04:03Okay, she keeps talking
04:04How do you
04:05When you sign like
04:06Asshole
04:07Asshole
04:08Asshole
04:10Wow
04:11Asshole is really
04:12She does this
04:13And then she does this
04:14And then she puts her finger in it
04:18Wow, we learned something wonderful
04:19Asshole
04:20Asshole
04:22You do the hole
04:23And then you finger the hole
04:24And then you go
04:25Yes
04:26What a big asshole
04:29Big asshole
04:30Very big asshole
04:32Big asshole
04:33Big asshole
04:34Big asshole
04:38I see what you're saying
04:39It's not like this
04:40It's like upside down asshole
04:41And then you finger the
04:45Thank you
04:48I love you
04:49I know you want to have fun
04:50Hold on
04:51Let me give you
04:52Let me give you a second
04:53What's your name?
04:54Sonora
04:55Sonora
04:56All of a sudden you speak English, huh?
04:59Sonora
05:00I love you, sweetie
05:01Yeah?
05:02There's 1500 people here
05:03They want to watch a show
05:05I got it
05:06Yeah, don't be
05:07An asshole
05:10I work for Air Canada
05:11You work for Air Canada?
05:12Do you really work for Air Canada?
05:13Yeah
05:14What do you do for Air Canada?
05:17Dude, they fucking lost my suitcase
05:20I swear to God
05:22I'm not kidding
05:23You know, I had a miserable day
05:26Coming to Canada
05:27They lost my suitcase
05:29Right now
05:30Coming from Toronto to here
05:31They lost my suitcase
05:33Don't go anywhere, okay?
05:35Videotape this
05:36Right now
05:38We're gonna sue her after the show
05:39Bring your emotional dog
05:40Bring your emotional dog
05:41I really need him now
05:45This is the reason I lost my bag
05:49Seriously, what a shit airline
05:55My God
05:57The worst airline in the history of airlines
06:00If I have to say who the nicest
06:04Nicest people on earth
06:05First to me
06:06Are Indians
06:08Indians are the nicest
06:10If I have to pick one race
06:12Yeah, I'm gonna explain to you what
06:13Learn
06:15Why are you doing this?
06:17I have a gas station
06:18You have a gas station?
06:19Oh
06:20I would never guess
06:26Yeah
06:27Only Indians
06:28You sound like you're very upset at the Indian
06:29You're like
06:30They own all the gas station
06:32I only got one gas station
06:34This guy's 60 gas station
06:37One gas station
06:39I keep going to buy the gas station
06:40Another Indian guy
06:41Boising the head off me
06:43I am tired of the other gas station
06:47Huh?
06:50Yes, there's not a scratch
06:51Buddy, that sounds racist
06:53You're a racist gas station owner
06:56Let me do the jokes
06:57You shut the fuck up
07:00That is so wrong
07:01You can't say that, homie
07:03You're so Iranian
07:04You don't even know
07:05You're like
07:06No, but I have Indian friends
07:07They like it when I say it
07:09That's between you and your friends
07:11He has no idea who the hell you are
07:13When you act like that
07:14You know what happens?
07:15Tomorrow morning
07:16Those guys and these guys
07:17They will buy your gas station
07:19They're like
07:20Fuck this motherfucker
07:22Legal pay, government price
07:24Fuck him
07:26He goes like
07:27What happened?
07:28What happened to my gas station?
07:29They're like
07:30You remember the scratch?
07:31Now it's in your asshole
07:33Like what?
07:34I was joking
07:35I swear to the dog
07:36I was joking
07:37You thought it was comedy show
07:38I said that the scratch in the hotel
07:39I was joking
07:41I say a lot of life lessons
07:43In what we're talking about
07:44But I really encourage you
07:46Think about
07:47Who you want in your life
07:49And write it down
07:51Hold on one second
07:52Hold on one second
07:53I got distracted
07:54Hold on one second
07:55I got distracted
08:07Speaking about the list
08:08You want to show me something?
08:14You want to show me something?
08:18Huh?
08:19Huh?
08:31Wow
08:32Good job man
08:35What a crossword
08:40In the middle of the show
08:41I'll translate for all of you
08:42I'll translate for all of you
08:44It means that guy
08:50You really have the guts amongst all the people?
08:57Okay, my time
08:59Max, look
09:00I love you dude
09:01That's pretty dope
09:02Like do you do this everywhere?
09:03Do you like go to the wedding?
09:04Guys, bride and groom
09:05Let me show you something
09:06I wish I could do that
09:07I swear to God
09:20I guess if I could do it
09:21I would probably do the same thing
09:23I would just go to different shows
09:26In the middle of a concert
09:29Hey, hey!
09:30Hey!
09:31Hey!
09:32Hey!
09:33Hey, hey, hey!
09:36Let me show you something!
09:39What are you doing?
09:42What?
09:43It's my birthday!
09:44Oh my God.
09:47That's beautiful.
09:49Happy birthday, sweetheart.
09:51What I love, birthday girl.
09:53We, everybody in this room
09:55should have that energy right there.
09:57I swear.
09:58In life, everybody gotta make the best out of any situation.
10:08And you gotta love people.
10:09You gotta love people.
10:11I don't like when people say, I don't like people.
10:13You know, you meet these people like,
10:14I don't like people, I don't like humans.
10:16Why?
10:17People are amazing.
10:18And every human's amazing, yeah?
10:20You gotta love people.
10:22You gotta love the differences.
10:25You gotta love weird people, yeah?
10:27And you gotta love people that are different than you.
10:29Yeah, this is the biggest learning.
10:31Okay.
10:35Oh, she's gonna fall down for reals.
10:38Do you do a lot of drugs?
10:43Three shots?
10:44Two shots.
10:44Two shots.
10:45I have a baby at home.
10:47You do?
10:48Who's taking care of your baby?
10:50Dad.
10:51Okay.
10:52Okay.
10:53All of us are moms.
10:55All of you guys are moms.
10:57Guess who doesn't give a shit?
11:02Do me a favor, don't fall off the balcony, okay?
11:06We don't wanna have your birthday and your funeral
11:08at the same time.
11:13I was an Indian.
11:14Why do you think Indians are number one under this?
11:17I'm gonna explain to you.
11:18Sit your ass there.
11:21I'm gonna tell you.
11:22Dude, that's a long ass fucking way to go.
11:28You know, I have dated people from different races
11:32and I have to say, buddy, what are you doing?
11:36No more going to the bathroom.
11:38You keep going back, what are you doing?
11:43No more.
11:45And next time you wanna go, go this way, you fuck.
11:47What the fuck, go this way?
11:50Think about it.
11:51It's like six seats this way.
11:53Fucking 900 seats this way.
12:00Emergency.
12:01Fucking you get up, you go that way
12:02and then you go up the stairs, emergency.
12:06Are you single?
12:07Yes.
12:08Of course you're single.
12:12You make a mistake
12:14and then you try to justify your mistakes.
12:17That's the reason everybody is,
12:18he's single here, they're single, okay?
12:22Don't justify your dumb ass move.
12:25Go that way, take a shit, come back.
12:29So we have a lot of people, yes sir.
12:32His name is Rich.
12:33His name is Rich.
12:34What?
12:35Your son is along the way.
12:35I'm sorry!
12:36That's wonderful.
12:37That's wonderful.
12:42I know you're excited baby, I know, I know you wanna play.
12:45but give me a second I just let me let me ease into the show are you give me two
12:52seconds thank you thank you I promise I'm gonna talk to you but I really love
12:59you for like just relaxing and your boyfriend is so sweet he's like calming
13:02you down is this your first time at my show yes yeah okay are you drunk
13:15okay nice you saw my bit that his name is rich because his name is rich I know
13:27which video you're talking about that video actually happened in San Diego and
13:34here you are I love that next time don't drink so much so you remember what
13:39happened cheers baby I wouldn't take that shot okay take it god damn girl
13:57such a lovely audience you'd love to hear what I say next okay here it comes
14:09sit your ass down oh my god dude how long you guys know each other you don't need
14:18to make or drink that much to get laid all right just take a deep breath and
14:25then tomorrow you wake up with a headache and then you'll think of or a good dream
14:34yes a fantastic dream it's gonna be a long show
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