00:00Come, sweetie. Come. Yeah, come. You're so sweet. Yeah, yeah.
00:06You're welcome, honey. Have a seat, yeah.
00:09No, I can't see you better.
00:10Yeah, I know. I saw you from over here and you were like...
00:14And if this person shows up, we'd send him back there.
00:20You're single, too?
00:22Yeah, yeah. You look single.
00:28You're happy single?
00:30How happy?
00:31Really happy?
00:32Like you go home and you're like, oh, no one's here.
00:38Then you go to bed and you go, cuddle me.
00:40Oh, there's no one to cuddle me.
00:42And then you cry.
00:44You never cry.
00:46Oh, you don't cry because you watch me when you go to bed.
00:49Seriously, you go to bed and then you get naked.
00:52You get naked or you wear pajamas?
00:54I just want to understand how this works.
00:57In pajamas.
00:58Is it a sexy pajama or is it like very, like, cute?
01:02What makes a pajama cute?
01:04I'm very curious.
01:05It's pink.
01:06It's pink.
01:07Oh, wow.
01:10How sexy.
01:12Okay, so you wear pink pajamas, yeah?
01:14And then you watch my videos.
01:16And then what do you do?
01:17I'm just curious.
01:20I don't want to know.
01:22I don't want to know.
01:24I want to know.
01:29I'm so flattered.
01:31Yeah, it's not for everybody to hear.
01:34But everybody can have an idea of what happens.
01:37You just go, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:43Is your phone on vibration when you do that?
01:47Wow.
01:48Ladies and gentlemen, people think I'm a comedian.
01:53News Flash.
01:54Porn star, baby.
01:57Max Triple X.
01:59Before you go to bed, watch my videos.
02:06You never want to be in a relationship again.
02:09This is great.
02:10This is lovely.
02:11I'm so glad I called you to come forward, yeah?
02:13Everybody in this room was boring, I swear to God.
02:16And then here comes the one girl that masturbates to me every night.
02:20This is so nice.
02:21Yo, tomorrow, every Middle Eastern would ban a woman from watching my content.
02:30You cannot watch Max Sabini.
02:36What's your name?
02:39Ostrich.
02:40Allah's my favorite bird.
02:43You're like Lai.
02:44When you were born, your parents are like, she looks like an ostrich.
02:49Let's name her ostrich.
02:50Do you, like, lay an egg?
02:53I mean, no, your husband didn't like that.
02:57She's not an ostrich.
02:59How do you say it?
02:59I mean, I literally heard ostrich.
03:01No, it's ostrich.
03:02It's not ostrich.
03:05Try me again.
03:06I will promise I get this.
03:08Go ahead.
03:09Promise I get it.
03:09Really?
03:10No, no, no.
03:10Just say it one more time loud, and I promise you I get it.
03:14You won't.
03:15No, no.
03:15I...
03:15What is this shit attitude you brought to the show already?
03:24Have some faith in me.
03:26Don't act like an ostrich, okay?
03:28Just seeing when ostriches get mad.
03:29This woman is like, no, you won't get it right.
03:38You look stupid to me.
03:41Come on, let's do this one more time.
03:43Go.
03:44One, two, three, go.
03:47Ostrich.
03:48Ostrich.
03:48Give it a round.
03:57Shapur, you're from Afghanistan.
03:59Wonderful, wonderful, buddy.
04:01And you?
04:01Poland.
04:02Poland.
04:03Oh, Polish woman.
04:05They're so nice, the Polish.
04:07Do you know that?
04:08You don't even know because you're just like, oh, okay.
04:11You know?
04:12How long you been dating the Afghan man?
04:14Oh, she's looking at him because she knows he has no idea.
04:20Shapur?
04:22Huh?
04:23Few years?
04:24Two years.
04:25Two years is the correct answer?
04:27Polish goes, I don't know, I hope so.
04:30And what did you guys meet?
04:32Somewhere here.
04:33Somewhere here.
04:34Can you elaborate?
04:37At work, what do you guys do?
04:42Shapur, speak up.
04:43Is that how you picked her up?
04:44Speak up one more try.
04:45I don't have all day here.
04:46This is not Afghanistan.
04:48Smoke some opium and go sleep for two hours.
04:51Come on.
04:53Say it one more time in English.
04:55One more time.
04:57You're a barkeeper.
04:58That wasn't so hard, you asshole.
05:01What kind of Afghan works in the bar?
05:03You're haram.
05:06Huh?
05:07You come here, all of a sudden, it's halal?
05:10You're like, ah!
05:10Is that why you can't talk?
05:14You're drunk?
05:16You make others drink.
05:18You don't drink?
05:18You make other people drink?
05:19That's extra haram?
05:21This guy's like, Allahu Akbar, I don't do it, but I get everybody drunk.
05:25Hey, alcohol, everybody.
05:26Alcohol.
05:29Huh?
05:29I work for Shaitan, please.
05:31You work for Saddam.
05:32Allah also works for Saddam.
05:35I heard you.
05:36I'm playing jokes.
05:38This guy's like, no, he said something else.
05:39I don't care.
05:41Let me see.
05:42Who else?
05:43Oh, there's one lady with a hijab here.
05:44I didn't see you.
05:46Hi, Habibti.
05:47Sorry about this asshole drinking and making people drunk.
05:49I apologize on behalf of Shapoor.
05:51This guy drinking, doing all this nasty stuff.
05:54I'm also from Afghanistan.
05:55Huh?
05:55You're also from Afghanistan?
05:57Tell everybody in Afghanistan, Shapoor went and became a barkeeper.
06:02Yeah?
06:03And tell them he doesn't know how long he's been dating his beautiful girlfriend.
06:08Yeah?
06:09This girl is beautiful.
06:10Don't fuck it up, Shapoor.
06:11You need to just make sure you're romantic.
06:13Hello, how are you?
06:14No!
06:15Buy a flower once a week and on your knees.
06:17Oh, you're my love of my life.
06:20Huh?
06:20I do that all the time.
06:23You don't do that?
06:24After the show.
06:25After the show?
06:26You want me to propose to your girl?
06:29Habibti, you very, you extra haram, man.
06:36How many real, authentic Austrian people here?
06:40Clap, let me see.
06:42Ah, okay, right there.
06:43Hi, how are you?
06:45Yes, what's your name?
06:47Sabina, you're a real, authentic Austrian?
06:51You sure?
06:53You look like there was a refugee camp orgy.
06:58And everyone was like,
06:59And everyone was like,
07:01I meant you look very diverse.
07:14You look beautiful.
07:15The guy next to you, very strange.
07:17He looks like a serial killer.
07:18Who is this guy?
07:19Why does he stare like that?
07:22He's wearing glasses.
07:25What's your name?
07:26Christian, what a nice circular you are.
07:29You're very Austrian, huh?
07:32Because you're very serious.
07:33And you're like,
07:34I am laughing on the inside.
07:38Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:40But on the outside,
07:42I would not.
07:42Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:47Well, Christian, tell me,
07:48what do you do?
07:49No.
07:49No, tomorrow.
07:54Right now,
07:56in this moment,
07:57I am sitting and laughing on the inside.
08:00No, like,
08:01what's your occupation?
08:03Accountant?
08:04Consultant.
08:05Consultant.
08:06Thank you for translating.
08:08And what is the topic of consultation?
08:16You did not know
08:17what you're walking into, did you?
08:19Whose idea was for you
08:20to come to this show?
08:22You are so uncomfortable right now.
08:26The refugee was like,
08:27let me fuck you up.
08:30She does not like you.
08:35Christian,
08:35this is a very interactive show.
08:38Okay?
08:38This is it.
08:39This is what's happening.
08:40It's going to be a long night for you
08:42right now.
08:47Christian is laughing.
08:48But in the way,
08:49she's very nice, by the way.
08:53You're very sweet.
08:54I love the way you laugh.
08:56Christian, go hang out with her
08:57for one week.
08:59Thank you, lady.
09:00You're so fun.
09:00This guy.
09:04Who's single?
09:05Let me see who's single.
09:06Really quick.
09:06Single people.
09:07Ah, okay.
09:08Nice, nice.
09:08Christian is clapping.
09:09You're clapping too?
09:11Hey, Christian,
09:11you're single?
09:12Even though she brought you?
09:15She's your wife?
09:16Then why were you clapping
09:17when I say she?
09:19Christian,
09:19I said single people.
09:21Now you're going to go home
09:22and she's going to put you
09:22in the yard.
09:25You hate me, don't you?
09:26You hate me so much.
09:28Well, let me give you
09:29some consultation.
09:30Next time,
09:30don't come to my fucking show.
09:36Wow, look at this gentleman
09:38behind you
09:38who wore a nice bow tie
09:39and a vest.
09:41What's going on here?
09:42Are you going to a wedding
09:43or something?
09:44No?
09:45Do you feel like a priest?
09:46Do I feel like a priest?
09:48I will not fuck you, sir.
09:51If that's your question.
09:54But thank you for the offer.
09:56Please stand up,
09:57everybody sees you.
09:58Please stand up.
09:59Look at this boy.
10:06Oh, so nice.
10:08Who are you here with?
10:09I'm here with my future wife.
10:10With your future wife?
10:12Oh, so lovely.
10:13This is the first time
10:14that I've met him.
10:15Oh, she said this is the first time
10:17that I've ever heard him saying this.
10:19You thought he's gay too,
10:20didn't you?
10:25I'm confused.
10:27Sir, who are you interested?
10:28Me or her?
10:29Pick one now.
10:32Por costumos.
10:33Hold on one second.
10:35Ostrich, what did he say?
10:38Why not both?
10:40One second.
10:41How does orgy work?
10:42Can you explain it to me?
10:43I've never been in one.
10:45He's offering.
10:45Should I say yes or no?
10:48Not a good idea, she says.
10:50What do you do?
10:51A singer.
10:52Singer.
10:52Singer?
10:53Like a real singer?
10:55Like gay music?
10:58Iranian songs?
10:59Iranian songs?
11:01They are gay music, isn't it?
11:02He goes,
11:03Iranian songs.
11:04That's gay music, isn't it?
11:05This is execution music.
11:17This is not gay music.
11:20Lie.
11:21Row number two.
11:22CPI.
11:24Khalas.
11:24The number one.
11:28The number one.
11:28The number one.
11:28The number one.
11:28The number one.
11:29The number one.
11:29The number one.
11:30The number one.
11:30The number one.
11:31The number one.
11:31The number one.
11:32The number one.
11:32The number one.
11:33The number one.
11:33The number one.
11:34The number one.
11:34The number one.
11:35The number one.
11:35The number one.
11:36The number one.
11:37The number one.
11:38The number one.
11:39The number one.
11:40The number one.
11:41The number one.
11:42The number one.
11:43The number one.
11:44The number one.
11:44The number one.
11:44The number one.
11:44The number one.
11:44The number one.
11:44The number one.
11:44The number one.
11:45The number one.
11:45The number one.
11:45The number one.
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