2025 Best of Germany   Max Amini   Standup Comedy - video Dailymotion

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Best White Mom   Max Amini   Standup Comedy  2025 Best of Germany   Max Amini   Standup Comedy

Transcript

00:00Sir, please enjoy, yeah?

00:04You need to relax. It looks like you swallowed a cane.

00:08Relax the body, yeah? You're focused on what?

00:12It's a comedy show. Germans, I'm focused.

00:16I don't want to miss the joke.

00:20I am so focused, I'm not laughing, so I remember the joke.

00:24I go home. I play the joke.

00:28I go ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho.

00:32I will laugh later.

00:36Later I laugh. Okay, that lady there? What's your name?

00:40Melanie. Melanie, you seem so fun.

00:44You're a fun German, yeah? Unlike the focus guy.

00:48I don't even think he's here for the show. I think he works for the government.

00:52He's here on an assignment. And then he's gonna go report all of us.

00:56And Germans, they did a study.

01:02This is not something that I say.

01:04Germans in the world, they're the smartest people in the world.

01:06And it's not a surprise.

01:08Because German...

01:10Who's jealous?

01:12What is the problem? You don't think so?

01:14We'll have a fight later.

01:16We'll have a fight later on?

01:17Well, what's your country?

01:18Iran.

01:19Iran.

01:20You think we're the smartest?

01:22For the first time...

01:24... the focus guy smiled.

01:26For the first time...

01:30... he lost his focus.

01:32He goes, yes, you're the smartest.

01:34For the first time, the focus guy smiled.

01:42For the first time, he lost his focus.

01:44He goes, yes, you're the smartest.

01:48What do you do in Germany?

01:50What I do?

01:51Yeah.

01:52It's not a quiz.

01:53You can just say.

01:54I don't work.

01:55Huh?

01:56She doesn't have a job?

01:58You don't work?

01:59I don't.

02:00You work?

02:01The question was, what do you do?

02:04You're still thinking?

02:10What is it?

02:12I have fun with my family and my friends.

02:14You have fun with your family and friends?

02:17Your job is to have fun with family and friends?

02:20Sign me up.

02:21I quit my job.

02:22I want to do what you do.

02:24But you don't work?

02:26No, really?

02:28Unemployed?

02:28No.

02:30What the fuck?

02:31What is the job, Melanie?

02:35I have a child.

02:37You have a child?

02:38That's your job?

02:40How do you provide for the child?

02:42Do you have a husband?

02:44Yeah.

02:44And then he works?

02:45Yeah.

02:46Oh, okay.

02:46So you don't work because you have a husband?

02:48Yeah, I work part-time.

02:50Well, what the fuck do you do part-time?

02:53Melanie!

02:54What is it that you're hiding from us?

03:01Even the German in the front is like, is that shit?

03:03Say it.

03:10Everybody's wondering.

03:12What is this part-time job?

03:14I work at Hyundai.

03:17Hyundai.

03:20Okay, how hard was that?

03:23You're doing very good, Melanie.

03:25Keep going.

03:26What do you do at Hyundai?

03:30So far, we got the company.

03:33Now, what do you do there?

03:34I do some marketing.

03:36You do some marketing.

03:37So you post shit on social media, yeah?

03:39Yeah.

03:39What a great mother you are, huh?

03:47I've never worked this hard on stage

03:50to find out what somebody does.

03:54I walk.

03:55I'm a mother.

03:56I have fun with the kids.

03:58I work part-time.

04:04Hi.

04:05Hi.

04:06What's your name?

04:07What's your name?

04:08Ula.

04:09Ula.

04:10Beautiful name.

04:11Where are you from?

04:12I'm from Syria.

04:13Syria.

04:14Oh, my God.

04:16Syria.

04:17This is so nice.

04:20Ula.

04:21Congratulations on your freedom.

04:24Yes.

04:25You can take the hijab off now.

04:33Ula, I love you.

04:35Ula.

04:36Congratulations.

04:37This is fantastic.

04:38Syria.

04:39I am so happy for you guys, man.

04:44You happy too?

04:46Of course.

04:46Move back.

04:51Look, Simon is so happy.

04:53Yes.

04:55It's a good idea.

04:56It's a good idea.

04:57Inshallah, I come to Syria, I come to Syria, I do a show with a bulletproof vest.

05:07What country is here from Europe, France, France, France, I would not even say it in public.

05:18Nobody likes the French, especially in Germany.

05:20You forgot what you did in the war.

05:21You forgot what you did in the war, please.

05:24Where is the French guy?

05:26And now he's hiding.

05:27Where are you, man?

05:30Oh, you're standing up.

05:31Sorry, the lights are heavy on my eyes.

05:32What's your name?

05:33Mark.

05:34Mark.

05:34Have a seat.

05:37Thank you for volunteering.

05:38Great to see you, man.

05:40Do you live here?

05:42Yes, I do.

05:43In Germany, yeah?

05:44Yeah, my wife is German.

05:45Ah, your wife is German.

05:48This is great.

05:49So finally, Germany can take a revenge.

05:54Thank you, lady.

05:58That's so beautiful.

06:00What a great way to start, yeah?

06:01And sir, with the glasses, what's your name?

06:03Axel.

06:04Axel.

06:04I love that, Axel.

06:05Where are you from?

06:06I'm Frank, Africa.

06:08Oh my God.

06:09You're problematic.

06:10Half German, half French, yeah?

06:15Do you speak French?

06:17Oui?

06:18Ah!

06:19Bonjour!

06:21Book it!

06:23My French sucks.

06:25Croissant!

06:26Sorry, I'm going to stop here, okay?

06:29Oui, oui!

06:31And you guys are lucky you live in this incredible country, yeah?

06:35Germans are so nice, yeah?

06:38Germans, even if they don't like you,

06:40they're still nice.

06:42They're like, oh, oh, hello, hello.

06:44Hello, hello.

06:45They say nothing in your face.

06:47French, in your face.

06:48Eh!

06:50Yeah?

06:51Axel's family, your mom and dad separated when you were young?

06:55Yes, see?

06:56Separated.

06:59I'm a psychologist, yeah, yeah?

07:02The mom and dad, the dad is like, hello.

07:04The mom is like, eh, eh.

07:05We have one American here.

07:11Yeah, look at this.

07:12One American.

07:14Real deal, all American.

07:17This is great.

07:18You remind me your name?

07:19Quran.

07:20What?

07:22Quran?

07:25I have been sent from God.

07:30I am watching your show.

07:32And, Max Amini, you are haram.

07:34Quran.

07:43Quran.

07:46Quran.

07:47K-A-R-O-N.

07:49K-A-R-O-N.

07:50Quran, yeah.

07:53You're not Muslim?

07:54No.

07:55Bro, tell your parents, not a good idea.

07:59Black guy, all American.

08:00His name is Quran.

08:01I mean, that is very misleading, man.

08:06You be a great undercover cop.

08:08You go in the Middle East, I am Quran.

08:12Tell me, when is the jihad?

08:16Yeah, black people make the best audience member.

08:18The best, yeah?

08:19They're not like this focused guy.

08:21Yeah.

08:23This German guy, he laughs like this.

08:28Black people, when they laugh,

08:29they start beating everybody.

08:32They're like, ah!

08:33I'm on that show, you know?

08:41Oh, my God.

08:43What a great crowd.

08:45I already know you better than the next show.

08:48There's no way I can get a black Quran.

08:52You know?

08:54Even the hijab lady right there is like,

08:56there is a chance we can convert him.

08:57You know what happens if you convert to Islam, right?

09:03They got to cut that dick off, boy.

09:06They got to chop that motherfucker off.

09:09You black, you can afford it.

09:13Right?

09:13Yeah, you be good.

09:15You be good.

09:16You be just fine, homie.

09:20Germans are like, we don't know.

09:23I'll be allowed to laugh.

09:24Laugh, it's Maximini's show.

09:25Laugh, we're going to cut the black man's dick.

09:27This is when the white man can laugh.

09:31The white man can be like, ah!

09:35I love you, man.

09:36Give him a big round of applause.

09:38My American buddy.

09:40The American in the house, yeah?

09:42The American in the house, yeah?

09:43The American in the house, yeah?

09:44The American in the house, yeah?

09:45The American in the house, yeah?

09:46The American in the house, yeah?

09:47The American in the house, yeah?

09:48The American in the house, yeah?

09:49The American in the house, yeah?

09:50The American in the house, yeah?

09:51The American in the house, yeah?

09:52The American in the house, yeah?

09:53The American in the house, yeah?

09:54The American in the house, yeah?

09:55The American in the house, yeah?

09:56The American in the house, yeah?

09:57The American in the house, yeah?

09:58The American in the house, yeah?

09:59The American in the house, yeah?

10:00The American in the house, yeah?

10:01The American in the house, yeah?

10:02The American in the house, yeah?

2025 Best of Germany Max Amini Standup Comedy

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