00:03and here is the prize of my baseball card collection a Mickey Mantle Ricky car in mint
00:11condition oh man and I got two of them dang wow there were two Mickey Mantles no Waldo there
00:20were only did they play on the same team no what he meant Waldo and most important of all which
00:25one went home to mrs. Mano meanwhile back on planet Earth Steve decides to talk to Eddie
00:35now and oh I really need to help Lauren me move along our relationship uh I hate to be a
00:41downer
00:41but you and Laura don't have a relationship oh contraire Laura's frere the lady's been flirting
00:48with me she has oh yeah just last week she actually telephoned me in the middle of the night Steve
00:54your
00:55house was on fire still she did call Steve what do you want from us 10 minutes of your time
01:04now I do
01:06feel compelled to warn you though that your participation necessitates Donnie Nacosta oh no
01:11way forget it 20 bucks I'm in me too
01:24it's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper page love and tradition
01:33of the
01:34grand design some people say is even harder to find well then there must be some magic clue inside these
01:44gentle
01:52days
02:11you
02:12There's room for you, room for me, for gentle hearts and opportunity.
02:20It stays for life, it's the bigger love of the family.
02:38I'm so depressed.
02:41Yeah.
02:42I don't think it's possible to be more depressed than this.
02:46Hello, ladies.
02:53We were wrong.
02:56Look, there upon the couch are two beautiful girls.
03:02And one of them is my girl.
03:09I got sunshine.
03:10I got sunshine on a cloudy day.
03:16When it's cold outside.
03:20I got the months of me.
03:24I guess you'll say what's gonna make me feel this way.
03:32My girl.
03:34His girl.
03:34Your girl.
03:36My girl.
03:37Hold, hold, hold.
03:42What is this?
03:44Well, don't we remind you of the temptations?
03:46No.
03:48More like the repulsions.
03:52man, they didn't even know who we were.
03:54And we practiced for six minutes.
03:57I'm just glad we got paid in advance.
04:14That's what happens when you hire non-union.
04:18Steve, you used to annoy me all by yourself.
04:23Why are you recruiting?
04:26Well, I was hoping to win a kiss from you by singing you a love song.
04:30Oh, that's sweet.
04:31Stay out of this, Max.
04:33Sorry.
04:35Look, I'm too tired for this.
04:36I was up all night.
04:39Nagging gas bubble?
04:44No.
04:45Max and I camped outside the Chicago Theater to get tickets to the Johnny Gill concert.
04:50But they were all sold out.
04:53Laura, you really like this Johnny Gill, don't you?
04:56Are you kidding?
04:58Hair!
04:59Bang!
05:00Body!
05:00Pow Pow!
05:04Oh, please.
05:05Why don't you take away his fancy clothes, his perfect hair, and that velvet voice?
05:09And what do you got?
05:11The sexiest, bald-headed mute in America.
05:17Look, I've got everything ever written on him.
05:21Oh.
05:23Wow.
05:25Interesting.
05:28Laura, suppose I arranged for you to meet Johnny Gill personally.
05:33Would you like that?
05:35I'd love it, but...
05:36Oh, no buts.
05:37Suppose I made it happen.
05:39Would you reward me with a kiss?
05:41Sure.
05:42I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face.
05:46Oh!
05:50Oh!
05:51Oh!
05:51Oh!
05:53Oh!
05:53Oh!
05:55Oh!
05:58Oh!
05:59Oh!
06:00Oh!
06:00Okay.
06:17Oh!
06:19Oh.
06:19Oh!
06:19Yeah.
06:28Oh!
06:31Oh, I thought it was a good story.
06:42Carlos, you got a minute.
06:44In about an hour, honey.
06:46Yes.
06:48Now it's good.
06:51Do you know what next Friday is?
06:53Our wedding anniversary.
06:5620 blissful years of marital happiness.
07:00How'd that sound? Sincere?
07:02Almost.
07:03You know the one thing we never did after we got married.
07:07Paid the preacher?
07:09No, I know, I know. A honeymoon.
07:12But, sweetheart, we were so poor.
07:13I mean, when people threw rice at the wedding,
07:15I saved some for dinner.
07:19Carlos, wouldn't it be romantic
07:23if we celebrated our 20th anniversary
07:25by finally going on our honeymoon?
07:29Yeah, but it's so expensive.
07:31I mean, we need a new water heater.
07:33The car needs new tires.
07:35Judy needs braces.
07:36If we go, I'll wear this.
07:41No!
07:55Well, here it is, folks.
07:58I've got a number three.
08:00A honeymoon suite.
08:11It's missing a wall
08:16Well, yeah
08:38There's no wall
08:39Uh, no, there isn't
08:41Well, uh, we really have to have a wall
08:46Are you sure?
08:48I mean, this is the honeymoon suite
08:50And most young couples never see past the bed
08:57We want a wall
08:59Folks, I'm sorry
09:00But, uh, no can do
09:03Look, let me fill you in
09:05We, uh, we committed, uh, well, uh, a construction boo-boo
09:10We started building all ten cabins at once
09:12And, uh, right in the middle of everything
09:14The darn price of spruce skyrocketed
09:16I suppose in retrospect we should have built one at a time
09:19And we wouldn't have been caught with our tool belts down
09:22Are you telling us that none of your cabins are complete?
09:25Uh, yes, that is what I would be telling you then
09:30Look at this
09:31I got one foot in snow
09:33And the other on floor
09:34Yeah, ain't America great
09:38But, uh, what about the wild animals?
09:42Well, you know, it is winter, uh, most of the animals that eat people are hibernating
09:46That's it, come on, Harriet, come on
09:48We're gonna stay someplace else
09:50Well, suit yourself, but the nearest inn is a hundred miles away
09:52And they're booked solid
09:54You're just saying that
09:56No, I call it myself
09:57You know, with a storm
09:58I wanted to stay in a room that, uh, you know, has four walls
10:05Care for some turkey jerky?
10:21Stay
10:23Stay
10:25Stay
10:28Would you please tell me why you're making me sit here with you?
10:30Oh, you'll find out soon enough, my little Tootsie Pop
10:36Gee, I wonder who that could be
10:55Do you know who you are?
10:57I think so, I'm Johnny Gill
11:01My, my, my
11:04He spoke to me
11:06Oh, my, my
11:10Oh, my, get up
11:13Gee, oh, my goodness, Lord
11:18Johnny
11:18Johnny Gill
11:22In my house
11:25Get a grip, woman
11:27Excuse me, I'm looking for a
11:31Steve Yuckel
11:35That's Yuckel, Steve Yuckel
11:38Listen, um, my manager gave me your message
11:41Now, let me get this straight
11:42You actually have a Mickey Mantle rookie card
11:45In mint condition?
11:46I might
11:50Would you be willing to part with it?
11:53Maybe, maybe not
11:56What's going on?
11:57Business, sweetheart
11:58Man talk
12:03Johnny, JG, John Aruni
12:05Mr. Gill
12:06I gotcha
12:08I might be willing to part with this
12:10Extremely rare baseball card
12:13If you sing a few songs for my honey
12:20And how many songs are a few?
12:23Oh, say, ten
12:26Say, one
12:31Eight, but no ballads
12:32Three, all ballads
12:34Seven, and you make moon eyes during the mushy parts
12:37Four, moon eyes during two
12:39Six, half her ballads, moon eyes during the mushy parts
12:42And during the chorus, you shake the old booty
13:03Hi
13:04Hello
13:06It's snowing out here
13:11We noticed
13:12We have a view
13:14Do you want to have a snowball fight?
13:16No, thanks
13:16I do
13:23Don't go out there
13:24You'll catch a cold
13:25Harriet, there's no wall
13:27It's the same temperature in here
13:30Are you in a bad mood or something?
13:32Now, why would I be in a bad mood, Harriet?
13:36I drove three and a half hours through heavy traffic
13:39Just so we could have our honeymoon
13:41In a cozy, romantic, construction boo-boo
13:49Carl
13:50You act like this is my fault
13:52Well, there's only two of us in the room, Harriet
13:54And I know it's not my fault
13:57Wait a minute, Carl
13:58I asked you for your input as to where to go
14:01And you said that whatever I decided was fine
14:03Well, that was when I thought that you knew what you were doing
14:07What?
14:09Yes
14:09You should have found out about the place when you called for reservations
14:13Oh, all right
14:15Hello
14:16We'd like to book a cabin
14:17With a fireplace
14:19A king-size bed
14:20And four walls
14:23What are you trying to say?
14:25Carl, I'm saying that whenever things are going well
14:28You always find some way to take your share of the credit
14:31But when things are going wrong
14:33It's always me who takes all the blame
14:38Oh, poor Harriet
14:42What a sad song
14:44I'd play the violin for you if I had feeling in my fingers
14:47Oh, like that doesn't
14:50I wasn't gonna say it, but it's gotta be said
14:52Oh, is that right?
14:54That's right
14:54Carl Winslow
14:58There's a goat in your shorts
15:06You know, Harriet
15:08You've said some pretty low things to me in the past
15:12But what the heck are you talking about?
15:14Look, there's a goat in your shorts
15:20Hey
15:21Shoot
15:22Shoot
15:23Shoot, boy
15:30Do you believe that?
15:32He made a meal out of your boxes
15:34Hey
15:35I wonder
15:36What kind of wine goes best
15:38With underpants?
15:44Sweetheart
15:45I'm sorry I yelled at you
15:47Oh, that's okay
15:48And I'll never forget this anniversary
15:51Me neither
15:51Hey
15:52You remember when we first got married?
15:55Our apartment had four walls
15:57But that's about all it had
15:58Couldn't afford furniture
16:00Half the time the furnace was busted
16:02And hardly had any hot water
16:05But we had each other
16:07And that was enough
16:09It still is for me
16:10For me too
16:13I love you, Harriet Winslow
16:16More now than ever
16:25Hey
16:26Why don't you go inside
16:28And put on that sexy negligee
16:30Girl, it's freezing
16:33I'll keep you warm
16:35What about the goat?
16:37Let him get his own woman
16:41Tonight will be a special night
16:44No matter where we go
16:47And I'm so proud to be with you
16:51I just wanna let you know
16:54You've got me saying
16:55My, my, my
16:57My, my, my, my, my
17:00You sure look good tonight
17:06And you're so damn fine
17:16And I'm so proud to be with you
17:20So proud to share your love
17:26Oh, my baby
17:29Oh, my baby
17:31Oh, man, I want you to do
17:34I want you
17:35Come on
17:37Come on
17:37I want you to sing
17:40That you're gonna be your mind
17:41You're gonna be your mind, baby
17:45You're gonna be your mind, baby
17:48You sure look good too
17:55Night
17:57Night
17:58Night
17:58Night
17:59Night
18:17Oh, Johnny, you both ladies
18:19You were wonderful
18:20Incredible
18:20Thank you
18:21All right, all right
18:22I think we get that point
18:25Well, that was the last song
18:27I think you have a
18:29Little something for me
18:31Yes, indeedy
18:33My end of the bargain
18:34Your very own
18:36Mickey Mantle rookie card
18:41Yes
18:43So, Johnny
18:44Care to sing at our wedding
18:45In a few years
18:47You know, I'm a very busy man
18:49Too busy for a Ty Cobb
18:51And a Honus Wagner
18:53I'll be there
18:55I won't
19:00Bye
19:00Bye
19:02You sure look good too
19:08Nah
19:13Hey, enough of that
19:14Enough of that
19:15Bye
19:18Hey, we'll see the fact
19:20I'll be there
19:20I'll be there
19:30I'll be there
19:30I'll be there
19:30Well, R
19:31I arranged for you to meet to Johnny Gill
19:34And not only that
19:35I got him to serenade you
19:37I think you owe me a kiss
19:44I know
19:49A deal is a deal
19:50I couldn't have put it better myself
19:55One moment, please
20:22Wow, it's no good
20:28I can't go through with it
20:34I'm supposed to say that
20:38Laura
20:38I feel like I'm forcing you to kiss me
20:42Like it's some sort of a business arrangement
20:44Well, that's precisely what it is
20:48Oh, that cheapens it
20:49Oh, Laura, I want you to kiss me
20:52But it has to be voluntary
20:55I'll just wait for that wonderful moment
20:57When you want to kiss me
20:58Good night, Laura
21:03Steve
21:05Yeah?
21:07What you did for me tonight was really special
21:11It meant a lot to me
21:13And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you
21:17The truth is
21:19You deserve a kiss
21:21You mean you want to kiss me?
21:23I didn't say that
21:29I said deserve, not want
21:32Well, I'll take it
21:34Oh, oh boy
21:47Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
21:52Oh, oh, oh, oh
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