00:10Laura, the most beautiful sister in the world.
00:14Forget it, Eddie. Laura's savings and loan is closed.
00:19Laura, that's cold. I gave you a compliment, and what do I get back? An insult.
00:25I'm sorry, Eddie. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
00:28That's better. So can I borrow 50 bucks?
00:33What happened? Another speeding ticket?
00:35No. They got me on some obscure technicality.
00:40Did you know they expect you to stop at a stop sign every single time?
00:47Sorry, I can't help you, Eddie. I'm saving up for a new computer.
00:50That's just like you. Think only of yourself.
00:55Good news. I'm here.
01:12Steve, I realize people ask you this every day of your life, but why do you look like that?
01:20Well, I've been working in my basement non-stop, and I decided it was time for our fish stick break.
01:35Mmm. Now that's slounder.
01:39Want a bite?
01:41Steve, you're supposed to cook those.
01:43And lose that wonderful ocean taste?
01:49So, uh, you still trying to perfect those radio-controlled garbage cans?
01:53Nah. Not since I had to pick Mom up at the dump.
01:57I'm working on something much more important now.
02:00A robot.
02:01I've entered the National Robotics Contest.
02:04I'm on the verge of creating artificial intelligence.
02:07It's a discovery that will change the world.
02:10Steve, bud, pal, amigo, compadre, oh boy.
02:16Does this contest have cash prizes?
02:19Nope. First prize is a computer.
02:21Oh.
02:23Computer?
02:25Did you say computer?
02:28Oh, yeah. Top of the line. State of the art.
02:32Well, Steve, if you win that computer, could I maybe borrow it sometime?
02:34Oh, for sure.
02:38I already have a computer. I got a used one from NASA.
02:41My Uncle Colonel Werner Von Urkel gave it to me.
02:46Look, if I win the computer, you can just have the silly old thing.
02:51Oh, Steve, thank you.
03:04I better get back to the lambs.
03:16Oh.
03:18I'm together now.
03:20I'll be leaving.
03:23I'm together now.
03:24I'm together now.
03:27I'm together now.
03:28I'm together now.
03:30I'm together now.
03:35It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper page.
03:43And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say it's even harder to find.
03:49Well, there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.
04:01And love and tradition of the grandmothers.
04:07I'm together now.
04:08I'm together now.
04:22There's room for you, room for me
04:27For gentle hearts and opportunity
04:31Days go by
04:34It's the bigger love of the family
04:51Okay, listen, six words
04:55If blank could blank blank now
05:00Oh, I give up, it's too hard
05:03Um, if they could see me now
05:06Yep, Shirley MacLennan, sweet Shirley
05:11Very good
05:14Now beat it
05:18They watch too much TV
05:24Ooh, Mother Winslow
05:28Is that a new dress?
05:30Yep
05:30Oh, it is gorgeous
05:33Oh, I'm glad you'd like it
05:35It was so expensive
05:37I had to write you out of my will
05:48Where you going?
05:50I'm going dancing with Fletcher Thomas
05:52Again?
05:54Mama, that's twice in one week
05:56So?
05:57Mother, I just plain don't like that Fletcher guy
06:00I mean, I see the way he looks at you when you walk by
06:03Really?
06:04Oh, that walk you showed me is paying off
06:09Come here, honey, stretch your stuff
06:12Flick those hips
06:14Step and sway, step and sway
06:17God, take his breath away
06:21Oh, great
06:22Terrific
06:23My wife and my sister-in-law are giving my mother floozy lessons
06:28Carl
06:29I'm 80 years old
06:31And Fletcher is 83
06:32We're spending a lot of time together
06:35Because we don't have a lot of time left
06:42And that's it, Mom?
06:44Oh, no
06:46We also get two-for-one discounts for the Hot Tub Club
07:17Mother
07:18Oh, well, well
07:20Well, the paper's not here yet
07:25Mother
07:26It is 6.15 in the morning
07:28Where were you?
07:30I was with Fletcher
07:31What?
07:32Was he there?
07:33Oh, was he ever
07:39Mama
07:41Oh, lighten up
07:43Okay, Mother, that is it
07:45I don't want you to see that Fletcher ever again
07:47What?
07:49You heard me
07:50He is off limits
07:53Carl, I'm your mother
07:55But, Mama
07:56You show me respect
07:57But, Mama
07:58I know you're stubborn as a mule
08:00But you don't have to act like a jackass
08:13Waldo
08:13Waldo
08:14My traffic ticket has to be paid by tomorrow
08:16Or I could lose my license
08:21Do you think maybe you could borrow the money from your sister?
08:25Sorry, my whole family's saving up to send my brother Ronaldo to the Olympics
08:29Oh
08:30What's his event?
08:35You mean you have to pick one ahead of time?
08:40Well, that's usually the way it works
08:42Oh
08:43He was just gonna go to Barcelona and get in the shortest line
08:50Have you guys seen Lara?
08:52Nope
08:52Sure you have
08:54Pretty girl
08:55Dark hair
08:57Your sister, for God's sakes
09:02I meant I haven't seen her today
09:05Oh
09:07Cool
09:09Well, come on
09:10I gotta show you guys something
09:18Gentlemen
09:19Allow me to present
09:21An unparalleled electronic achievement
09:24The one
09:26The only
09:29Ergobot
09:38Wow
09:40You invented RoboNerd
09:45Does he move?
09:47Does he move?
09:50What?
10:00Do he
10:12Fuck
10:14Ah
10:16I
10:17I
10:17I
10:19I
10:19I
10:20I
10:21I
10:21I
10:21I
10:35Hello.
10:39What a lovely house.
10:48Did I do that?
10:56See, this is incredible.
10:57How are you controlling it?
10:59Ah, now that's the beauty part.
11:01You see, I'm not.
11:02Urkel-Bot has artificial intelligence,
11:04and that means he can walk and think all by himself.
11:09I was created by the handsome, intelligent, sexy Stephen Q. Urkel.
11:25He perceives me, and he's learning at an incredible rate.
11:29By my calculations, his intelligence doubles every 20 minutes.
11:33Every 18 minutes and 35 seconds, to be exact.
11:40Show off.
11:44Hey, guys, I...
11:51Whoa, mwah!
12:04One of my luscious lily, this is Urkel-Bot.
12:08Steve, you did it! You built a robot!
12:10Oh, yes.
12:11Yes, yes.
12:14He talks and everything.
12:16Steve, you're a cinch to win first prize.
12:18And you'll get your computer, babycakes.
12:21Urkel-Bot's kinda cute.
12:23And you, my dear, are a sight for sore optical scanners.
12:30And you and Stephen Q. Urkel formed a human emotional attachment.
12:35What?
12:36What?
12:36Are you hot for each other's bonds?
12:41Yes.
12:43I think I'm in a love.
12:49How about this?
12:55Steve, that hunk of metal just made a pass at me.
12:58I'm sorry, Laura. I'll reprogram it immediately.
13:01Good, cause this is too weird.
13:07Wow, a robot that chases after girls.
13:09Yeah. We're being replaced by machines, man.
13:14Urkel-Bot, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to turn you off.
13:17I don't think stuff.
13:19What the hunk?
13:22What the hunk?
13:38Oh, boy, that was a close one.
13:41Yeah.
13:44Gotcha!
13:46But, but I flipped your off switch!
13:48Yeah?
13:50Well, I bypassed that circuit.
13:52Off is for losers.
13:54I mean, oh, hey, yeah.
14:00Oh, Laura!
14:06Wait! Wait!
14:07Laura's my girl!
14:10Ha!
14:12I will not rest until she is mine!
14:15Now, you listen to me, bub.
14:18I am your creator and I am the boss around here.
14:24Not anymore.
14:25This is war, nerd boy.
14:36Now listen, Mother.
14:37I am afraid I have to lay down the law.
14:40No more Fletcher Thomas.
14:42No more discussion.
14:44Don't argue with me.
14:47I have spoken.
14:57Mother?
15:03What is it, Carl?
15:04Would you please come and take a seat?
15:06I have something to say to you.
15:15Yes?
15:23I'm sorry, Mommy.
15:25Come on.
15:27Oh, you're mad, little baby, darling.
15:32I hate it when you're mad at me.
15:36Ma, I don't know why I'm so crazed about you and Fletcher Thomas.
15:40You don't?
15:42Well, it's just that when he looks at you, it's obvious that he really likes you and respects you.
15:49How can you trust a man like that?
15:54Carl, let me ask you something.
15:57Did you trust your father?
15:58Absolutely.
16:00Everybody did.
16:02Everybody did.
16:03My father was the finest man who ever walked this earth.
16:06Yes, he was.
16:08And that's why I chose him.
16:10And I might add, I had plenty to choose from.
16:17I was a knockout, honey.
16:23Well, Ma, you still are a knockout.
16:30Son, if I had the good taste to choose your father, shouldn't you trust my judgment now, huh?
16:42Yes, Ma.
16:44Well, then, come here and hug me.
16:48I love you, little devil.
16:49I'm sorry, Ma.
17:41Steve? Steve? Where's Steve?
17:43Are you referring to that scrawny human with the big feet?
17:48Yeah, that's him. Where is he?
17:50Oh, it's Sam Hillcast.
17:52I do. He just called me and asked me to come over.
17:54He said it was a matter of life and death.
17:56Oh, that wasn't Steve.
17:58That was me.
18:01I can do anyone.
18:03Steve, go home.
18:06Steve, go home.
18:08Steve, go home.
18:11Steve, go home.
18:14Well, since my baby left me, I've been a new place to dwell.
18:19Let's go to dinner, let's go to the street at Potpourri Hotel.
18:32Okay, hold it.
18:33I want to know where Steve is right now.
18:36Don't forget Steve.
18:37He was inferior.
18:39I am superior.
18:40You will marry me and we will function happily ever after.
18:44Come on, baby. Let's energize.
18:47Help!
18:49Mom!
18:50Laura, is that you?
18:51Let's see, where are you?
18:53In the closet.
18:55No, I'm not.
18:56I'm in New York on a business trip.
19:02Steve, are you okay?
19:04No.
19:05This closet doesn't have a bathroom.
19:08Open this door right now.
19:10Forget it, sugar-knees.
19:12I'm much better looking than that drink.
19:14And I'm 4,000 times smarter.
19:22Steve, how do you cut him off?
19:24You can't.
19:25He's out of control.
19:27Steve, help me.
19:27He's after me.
19:28I don't know what to do.
19:29Stand back.
19:30I'm going to break the door down.
19:36Ow!
19:39Mason, you're mine.
19:42Let go of me!
19:52Did I do that?
19:55That does it.
19:57No more Mr. Matchbox.
20:01It's crazy.
20:03Stay back.
20:04Go to your room.
20:05Hey, I'm your father.
20:07Hey, don't you stab me.
20:12Steve, watch out!
20:25Uh-oh.
20:27CO2.
20:28Tiddle-loo.
20:30Warning.
20:31System shutdown.
20:33Steve, go.
20:36I beat you so long that I could die.
20:43Steve, you saved me!
20:48Thank you ever so much.
20:50Hey, no sweat, my pet.
20:53Steve, I want you to turn this thing into a go-kart.
20:58But, but, but, but, but Laura, all he needs is a little reprogramming.
21:01I'll make a few minor adjustments to his personality circuits.
21:04But he was a monster!
21:06Well, I will grant you subtlety wasn't his strong point.
21:11But Laura Urkelbot was a machine with feelings.
21:15He fell hopelessly in love with you.
21:17So let's be honest.
21:19The only thing he was really guilty of was having good taste.
21:26That's sweet, Steve.
21:28Well, I'm a sweet kind of guy, Laura.
21:33And it's my fondest dream that someday you'll realize that.
21:37And marriage.
21:38Oh, yeah.
21:41We'll build a clambered house on the banks of the Susquehanna River.
21:45And we'll have 3.2 children and 1.7 cars.
21:48And a kitty and a dog.
21:49Ooh, and he'll make lunch every day and a barbecue every night.
21:53And on cold nights, we'll put on our bunny slippers and listen to accordion albums.
21:57Ooh, gosh, I gotta write this stuff down.
21:59Ooh, gosh, I gotta write this stuff down.
22:29Ooh, gosh, I gotta write this stuff down.
22:32Ooh, gosh, I gotta write this stuff down.
Comentarios