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00:04This is a car program. There will be no cushions. There will be no rag rolling.
00:11No one will sing and at the end of the series no one will have a recording contract.
00:17This is our new base. And this is our purpose-built test track.
00:24There are no traffic jams here, well apart from this one, and no bus lanes either.
00:30This is Top Gear.
00:35And in the show tonight, I put two supercars head to head.
00:40Jason Dore on what to do when car dealers attack.
00:47Richard Hammond will try to beat a speed camera.
00:50And a star in a reasonably priced car.
00:59Hello. Now, two family hatchbacks. The Ford Focus and the Volkswagen Golf.
01:05Both have five doors, both have 1.6 litre engines and both cost around £12,000.
01:12That's how much family hatchbacks cost. Or do they?
01:17You see, on Top Gear we found one that you can buy in Britain, no tricks, brand new, for less
01:23than £9,000.
01:25This is it. It's the Citroen Blingo Multispass.
01:30And I admit, it's a curious looking thing.
01:32That's because it started out in life as a van.
01:35All they've done is add some windows here, sliding doors, some snazzy seats where the cement used to go, and
01:44hey presto.
01:45Garnish it with some metallic paint, some alloy wheels.
01:47And you can even have a diesel version for £8,995.
01:53Thing is though, are you getting what you pay for?
01:55Is it like cheap wine? Will you wake up with a headache?
01:58Well, to find out, I took it down the M20 to the Boozeborough for a trip to those supermarkets of
02:06Calais.
02:08First impressions are that I'm driving a van.
02:12It's quite echoey in here and not terribly refined.
02:16Most central locking systems, for instance, these days they go,
02:21But listen to this.
02:25It's very uncouth.
02:29In essence then, the Blingo is very loud.
02:32Very Van Halen.
02:36But there is a softer Van Morrison option.
02:44For the same money, you can have a 1.6 litre petrol engine which develops the same power as a
02:51Mark 1 Golf GTI.
02:53With that under the bonnet, this would feel much more like a normal car.
03:00But how many normal cars have you ever come across that have got green dashboards with green dials?
03:07And how many normal cars are there with five glass panels in the roof?
03:13And they use roof bars which swivel sideways so you can carry a bicycle.
03:19Whatever a bicycle is.
03:22No doubt about it, the Blingo is turning out to be astonishing value for money.
03:38It is possible to buy a number of other cars for Blingo money, but none of them will be this
03:44size, none of them will be this well equipped, and none of them will have something that we're really looking
03:49for on this new series of top gear.
03:52It's an X Factor.
03:54See, this, this is a perfectly acceptable car, but this, I don't know, it's more than a car somehow.
04:02You'd want to bring it in at night, let it sit by the fire.
04:05Give it a saucer of warm milk and a little wheel to run round in.
04:10It's got the most important thing that a car can have.
04:15Character.
04:15Character.
04:20And now the coal is back in Newcastle.
04:23The Blingo is back where it came from.
04:28And I still can't find anything really wrong with it.
04:32The turning circle's not much cop and there's a fair bit of road noise.
04:36It's not terribly sporty either.
04:40But it is very comfortable.
04:42Hand on heart, it rides like a Jaguar.
04:49I could go on all day giving you swings and roundabouts, but the fact of the matter is, basically, I
04:55like it.
04:58Right, here we are at one of those Calais hypermarket cash and carry booze warehouse jobs and, boy, have I
05:07got the car for the job.
05:11Let me show you what I mean.
05:13We've got storage space up here, up here, and here above the driver.
05:18In the back, there are two extra glove boxes.
05:22And then, if we slide that open, we've got a cubby hole here under the floor and another one there.
05:30Then we simply fold the seats down like so.
05:35So, and we have a cavernous boot.
05:39And I haven't finished yet, because if we open the tailgate, there's another overhead locker here for a further ten
05:48kilograms of booze.
05:50So, let's shop.
05:59I want that one, that case there.
06:03It's all terribly exciting, all this cheap booze.
06:06But you have to be careful, because if customs suspect you're bringing stuff back that's not for your own personal
06:12consumption, they'll confiscate it and your car.
06:15And they're currently confiscating 30 cars a day.
06:19So, I caught up with the shop's owner and his girlfriend to talk about this.
06:24Because I was reading in the paper that if I were to put 500 bottles of gin in the car,
06:30which I'm legally allowed to do.
06:31Absolutely.
06:32Customs are so wooly, you'd never get through all that.
06:35How can they say that when it was Maggie Thatcher told us to stock our larders up?
06:40I mean...
06:41With 500 bottles of gin.
06:42Yeah, but if you drink a bottle of gin a day, that's only a year and a half supply.
06:47That's not a lot.
06:50Fizzy Liebfrau Milch.
06:52I don't think I'll be able to convince customs that's for my personal consumption.
06:58No.
07:00Other people were going berserk, perhaps because they didn't like their cars very much.
07:05Perhaps they wanted to have them squashed.
07:08Trouble is, I really am very, very fond of this car and I don't want customs to crush it.
07:15So...
07:18There we are.
07:20Saved a few quid.
07:21Well, pence.
07:26Now, I should explain at this point that other vans are available.
07:30There's the Fiat Doblo, which is a trifle cheaper than this, but I think I'm right in saying it's the
07:36slowest accelerating car that money can buy in Britain today.
07:390-60 is 21 seconds.
07:41Then there's the Ford Torneo Connect.
07:45That's over £10,000.
07:46You don't even want to think about that.
07:48That's so awful.
07:48And then there's the Renault Kangoo.
07:52That's okay, but basically it's not as good as this.
07:54You have to have a Berlingo.
07:56Question is, diesel or petrol?
07:59Well, to help us decide that, I've been joined now by Top Gear's new car trader, pocket-sized chap, Jason
08:06Doerr.
08:07What do you reckon?
08:07Petrol.
08:08Really?
08:09Yeah, don't bother with the diesel. Makes you feel too much like a van.
08:12Well, it did feel like that. Going down the motorway, there was that noise, and you just think, look, I've
08:16saved enough money here.
08:17Yeah, but you can save even more at the minute.
08:18Really?
08:18Yep, they are doing a facelift on this car, which means they're going to change the bumpers and the bonnet
08:22in a couple of bits, but it'll basically look the same.
08:25What it does mean is that Citroen have got some of the old models. They need to get shot of
08:28them.
08:28These ones, basically?
08:29This car?
08:31Yep.
08:31So what are they doing?
08:32They're doing a deal, you can get all the vat off, so that means that instead of 8995, you can
08:36get a 1.4 for 7,700 pounds.
08:397,700 for one of these?
08:417,700, yeah.
08:42That's the bargain of the century.
08:43Cheap as chips.
08:45Good tip.
08:46Right, if I could just sum it up, it's like Gérard Depardieu. Slightly swollen middle, broken nose, but there are
08:52hidden talents.
08:53And it's not just me who likes it. Everyone in the Top Gear office likes it. All the crew here
08:58like it. Everyone, well, apart from him, he doesn't like it very much, but everyone else does.
09:03And the people who like it most of all are the family of Albanians that I inadvertently brought back into
09:09Britain in each of the wheel archers.
09:11They've written to me from their new house in Leatherhead, the Hollies, to say that it will always hold a
09:16special place in their heart.
09:19Great car.
09:20You know how when you're making up a list, as you do, of the world's greatest race cars, you've just
09:25got to include the Ford GT40. And here's a reminder why.
10:11So they built one of the most successful race cars ever. Great.
10:14But that gave them a problem, because try as they might, they struggled for years to build anything remotely as
10:20glamorous ever again.
10:21Until they came up with a really good idea. The best car to replace the Ford GT40 was the Ford
10:28GT40.
10:28I mean, this is the new car, and come on, you're not fooling anyone. It's okay, four inches higher and
10:3418 inches longer than the original GT40, but it is a GT40.
10:38Basically, they put the plans for the old car on a photocopy at 110% and said, enlarge.
10:44But it is a lot cleverer than the old one. It's loaded with technology. Take a look at this.
10:48Do you want to see the engine? Right, there it goes. That's actually going to take a moment or two.
10:52In the meantime, you've pulled into a petrol forecourt. Obviously, everybody's going to be looking at you.
10:57But if they're not, this should tip it. Have a go. Here we go. Let's get to the fuel. Look
11:01at that.
11:03That's just to put your petrol in. That's unbelievable. We can possibly squeeze in and have a look at the
11:08engine now.
11:08It's a 5.4 litre V8, supercharged. That's about 500 brake horsepower. That should be enough.
11:15Bear in mind, this is a very, very light car indeed. But take a look inside. You've got to have
11:20a look.
11:20This is just, it's just breathtaking. Look at the switches. Each one looks hand carved from a lump of aluminium.
11:27And the gate around the base of the gear lever. Look at that. None of that nasty rubber full of
11:32bits of biscuits and old chocolate.
11:34Of course, this isn't real. It's a pretend one. I don't know what it'll be like when they make it.
11:40And oh yes, they are going to make it. Ford have announced this week they will be putting this into
11:44production.
11:45But it's going to be expensive. It's going to be on sale in America at about $150,000 a piece.
11:51And you're going to be very, very lucky even if you've got the money to get hold of one.
11:55They're going to be incredibly exclusive. Basically, you're going to have to know somebody at Ford.
12:01Other items in the news this week. The government has announced that it's going to spend £145 million on the
12:07road network over the next five years.
12:09Which works out at £29 million a year. And that's enough to pay for three and a half miles of
12:16motorway a year.
12:17Wow. Think of the freedom we can enjoy with that. Three miles a year.
12:21Looking forward to it. I can't wait. I'm excited.
12:22Three miles a motorway. Car news. Fiat, first of all, they are in deep trouble.
12:27They're currently losing £2 million a day.
12:30Well, they've got a new model which they think is going to stem the flow. There it is.
12:34Look at that. They're saved. They're saved. They'll be fine with that.
12:38It's an estate version of the Stilo and it is actually very important this works because if Fiat goes to
12:46the wall, they will take with them Lancia, Alfa Romeo, Maserati and Ferrari.
12:52And, of course, they won't go to the wall because they're going to get bought by General Motors.
12:55So, if you don't buy one of these, General Motors gets Ferrari. It's that simple. So, buy one.
13:02News now of the new Micra. A rather gorgeous looking little thing as well. That's actually not it though. That's
13:09the only thing.
13:10Lovely though it is. They will do that eventually. This is going to be the new Micra, which is all
13:14right. That's not bad. I've always quite liked the Micra myself.
13:18The important thing about it though is, loaded with technology, even in a small car, it's even going to have,
13:23and you've probably seen this, keyless entry. So, you walk up to the car and...
13:26No, I've got some experience of that and there is a slight problem with it because you keep a little
13:29smart card in your wallet.
13:30OK, you get out of the car, push a little button, door's locked. You walk away and you think, is
13:35that locked?
13:36So, you walk back to check. Of course, it recognises the smart card. It's easy coming. It's open.
13:41Err. Err. You could be there for days.
13:44The only way you know whether it wasn't locked is someone nicks it.
13:47Yeah, that's the only way you find out the definite.
13:50Now, this. We all know the Smart, the one that's been around for a few years, the one you can
13:56park nose onto the pavement.
13:57Now, they've got delusions of grandeur and they've launched, well, I think we've got some footage of it here.
14:01Two versions. There's a coupe and there is a cabriolet. Now, the cabriolet is interesting.
14:07You've got an electric folding roof, rear engine with a turbocharger on it.
14:13You've got rear-wheel drive, big fat alloys, anti-lock brakes, traction control, basically just like a 911 turbo.
14:20OK, except a 911 turbo is £90,000. This, the car you're looking at here, £11,750.
14:27What?
14:30That was the least convincing reading voice I've ever heard in my life.
14:34Wow.
14:35An 11,750.
14:36That is incredible, actually.
14:37If this is the future now, here, I'm not scared of that anymore. You can bring it on. Take as
14:42much of the future as you like. That's stunning.
14:4411 grand.
14:45Err. Take a moment now to talk about Formula One. What are we going to do about Formula One?
14:50Yeah.
14:50Scrap it.
14:52Kill it.
14:52Kill it.
14:53No, the problem, I've been working, the problem here is very simple, is that Ferrari have completely dominated.
15:01Now, we've got a photograph of what Michael Schumacher's going to do next year to try and keep it, there
15:06we go.
15:09That's what he's going to do next year, to try and level it out a bit.
15:12But really, the problem, as I see it, is that the teams have taken over, the technology has taken over.
15:19Now that they've got traction control and gearboxes that change for you, and I heard the other day that the
15:24teams, the pit crews, can actually tune the engine from the pit wall.
15:29Well, there's, there's banners.
15:31Oh no, we'll turn the revs down a bit. No, one of them developed a fault, a BMW one, developed
15:35a fault and they rerouted the oil without actually bringing it in, did it remotely.
15:39And you just think, where's the driver? The driver is the big hero. He's the guy I want to watch.
15:44You know, it was like the Second World War, you had fighter pilots, they were the big heroes. After that,
15:48they were racing drivers.
15:49I want to see heroes. I don't want to see geeks in black clothes going,
15:54Ooh, well, if I just fiddled with this laptop, we'll make it go faster. In fact, I'd execute them.
15:59Do you know? I would, I'd shoot them in the back of the neck with a nine millimetre.
16:02I want to see drivers, take it, I want Formula One unplugged, rip out all the technology and give us
16:08proper racing again.
16:12Do you know, Jeremy, that was strangely touching, your desire for heroes.
16:17I'm just fed up with this. I don't blame Ferrari. I can't blame them. You know, they built a better
16:21car, they won.
16:22Just get rid of all the technology.
16:24I think computer animate the entire sport and get rid of them all in real life.
16:28Right, here's some stirring news for us, in that it's a very stirring car, the new Bentley Continental GT.
16:35That is a very, very big car indeed. I think it's gorgeous. You're a bit...
16:40It's fine. It's got a slightly Vanessa Feltsy rear.
16:44Yeah, there is something of that. But the important thing about the car is the engine, right?
16:49Powering that is a W12. Massive engine.
16:52It's the same engine they put in the Volkswagen feet on, which I've already driven at 200 miles an hour.
16:57Exactly. They decided at Bentley, not enough girl stuff. Strap a couple of turbos to it, see how it'll do
17:03then.
17:03Which is great, but it's given them an interesting problem.
17:05It's now chucking out so much torque that they can't tell us how much torque it's putting out.
17:11Every time they strap it to the machines that they measure it on, it breaks them.
17:14These are things the size of a building, these machines. They strap it down, tie it all in.
17:17You could tie it to this base here and it would just spin the whole studio around.
17:21We'd actually go round it. That's exactly what would happen.
17:24So unfortunately, they can't tell you how powerful it is. Just lots and lots of torque.
17:28Right, let's have a look at this. Excuse me.
17:30This is Italy's newest supercar from Italy's newest supercar maker.
17:35It's called a Pagani Zonda. And it is exquisite. It's exquisite on the inside too.
17:42Look at this. Just a wall of aluminium and chamois leather and carbon fibre.
17:50And look at these air vents, like periscopes.
17:53Anyone want to see the engine?
17:55Yes!
17:57Right, well let's hop out and we have to, could you just grab the other side?
18:01You have to undo the leather buckle.
18:0421st century. Push the little button, okay?
18:07And there it is. Look at that.
18:11That's a Mercedes-Benz 7.3 litre V12.
18:16You want to hear it?
18:17Yes!
18:19Problem is health and safety, okay?
18:21They've told us we mustn't start cars in the studio.
18:23Alright, but I don't think they'll hear.
18:26Ready? Foot in the clutch, Jeremy. That'll help.
18:36I think we got away with it. I don't think they heard us.
18:46Um, now, do you want to know what it feels like to drive?
18:49Yes.
18:50Watch this.
18:58The similarities between the Zonda and an F-15 fighter are obvious.
19:03Both have glassy bubble roofs at the front and a lot of engine behind.
19:07And both have styled exhaust outlets.
19:11There is one difference, though.
19:13In the F-15 you don't get much sensation of speed.
19:17Whereas in the Zonda, you do.
19:28The key to this car is its engine.
19:30It was built specially for Pagani by Mercedes.
19:33And it is a masterpiece.
19:37For me, a huge chunk of a car's appeal is the noise it makes.
19:42And the noise this one makes is just astonishing.
19:48Oh!
19:57But even better than the baritone backdrop
20:00is that under the super light all carbon fibre body
20:03you have a 555bhp wallop.
20:08Not since the Germans and the Italians teamed up in the Second World War
20:12have we seen power like this.
20:17The top speed in fifth is nearly 200mph.
20:25But I'm moving out of fifth gear now
20:28and into top gear.
20:31And now my top speed is 220mph.
20:54Oh, a bit of twitch under braking.
20:59Uh-oh.
21:04Whoops.
21:09This car is an immense achievement.
21:13Cleanly, it's very well made.
21:16It's astonishing to behold.
21:19I mean, really astonishing.
21:20I can't believe that Pagani's come from nowhere
21:23and come up with this.
21:25It's a proper, proper supercar.
21:29In fact, as I see it, it only has one problem.
21:41It must face up to the new Lamborghini Murcielago.
21:45The latest in a long line of raging bulls from Italy's maddest supercar maker.
21:50It's the ultimate automotive pin-up.
21:54Or is it?
21:56Ever since Audi bought Lamborghini, I've been worried that the Germans would try to bring a bit of order to
22:03the chaos.
22:04That they'd try to sanitize the madness.
22:09This is the first Lamborghini where you don't need to have the body of Jean-Claude Van Damme to drive
22:16it.
22:16Look, you can change gear with one finger.
22:24And the steering doesn't feel like it's set in concrete.
22:27And the clutch...
22:29Clutch, it's like stepping on a marshmallow.
22:33However, some elements of Lamboness do remain.
22:37It still has the ultimate pub car park accessory, gullwing doors.
22:41And check this out.
22:43When the engine gets hot, air intakes slide out of the buttresses.
22:48Then, there's the meat.
22:50The engine.
22:52It may only be a 6.2 litre V12.
22:55The Zonda's a 7.3, remember.
22:57But amazingly, this is more powerful.
23:00It serves up 571 brake horsepower.
23:07So, this has more grunt.
23:10But this has less weight.
23:12So, which is the fastest?
23:17Well, let's find out.
23:334WD means that I have to get the car rolling gently before flooring it.
23:39Or I'll cook the clutch and...
23:44120.
23:45Into fourth.
23:48Look at that Zonda go!
23:49I'm being annihilated!
23:52150.
23:53Into fifth.
23:56And that's 160.
23:57And I have been destroyed.
24:02Destroyed!
24:09So, does this mean, then, that Audi has turned the raging bull into a timid little veal?
24:17No.
24:19Not even slightly.
24:21What they've done is turn it from a supercar into what feels like a small, nimble, razor-sharp sports car.
24:32The old Lamborghini Diablo was like a chest of drawers with a jet engine.
24:39But this...
24:42This, you feel like the organic part of a machine.
24:48This is by far and away the best Lamborghini ever.
24:51Not just the prettiest and the easiest, but the nicest to drive.
24:55It's so good, it's better than any current Ferrari.
24:59But astonishingly, it's not as good as the Zonda.
25:03This is the new king of supercars.
25:07So, that's it, Jeremy. You're saying the Zonda, better than the Lamborghini. Job don't end a story.
25:11Yes, if you're six years old and you're looking to put a supercar on your bedroom wall, this is the
25:17one you're going to put this up, not the Lambo.
25:19Yeah, small point. Six-year-olds buy posters. What if you're actually buying the real cars? There is a bit
25:23of a price issue here.
25:24A small one, I admit. Yes, the Lamborghini's around £160,000 and this is £310,000.
25:34But, in its defence, you do get a free pair of shoes made by the Pope's cobbler with this.
25:42And, no, no, you do. More than that, you get 12 months free membership of the RAC.
25:4912 months? 12 months?
25:51I'm not joking, you get 12 months free, but I want to be the one that makes that call.
25:55I want to break down M6, February, Friday night.
25:58Hello. Yes, it's my Zonda. It's gone. I think it's the engine management. You better bring a laptop.
26:04Right, well, there's one final test for this, the Zonda and the Lambo.
26:09Now, let's face it, nowadays, 0-60 times, absolutely meaningless.
26:13Top speed figures, totally meaningless. What really matters is how fast a car can lap a test track.
26:18And, fortunately, we've got our own test track for that very purpose.
26:22So, this is it. Just under two miles of fast straights and tricky corners designed by the test drivers at
26:29Lotus.
26:30This one, Chicago Bend, is a steady state corner that really loads up the outside tyres.
26:37Then there's Hammerhead, a tricky left and right that provokes understeer.
26:45This one, follow through, is supposed to be flat out, but death awaits the first man to try it.
26:52There are corners with tricky bumps and cambers designed to test brake balance.
26:57And in this one here, a badly set up front wheel drive car will struggle to put its power down
27:02at all.
27:08Right, that's the track. Now we needed someone who could tame it.
27:12So, we got ourselves a professional racing driver who could post consistently fast lap times.
27:18We, um, we couldn't do that.
27:20Now, we call this thing the Stig.
27:22Okay, we don't know its name. We really don't know its name.
27:25No one knows its name and we don't want to know because it's a racing driver.
27:28And racing drivers have tiny little brains and, therefore, worthless opinions and they're very dull.
27:34Doctors actually call it Mansell's Syndrome.
27:36Um, its job is simply to go out there and drive fast.
27:40So, first of all, we put it in the Lamborghini.
27:45Immense power, as we've already discovered.
27:47You've got four-wheel drive, you have to trickle it off the line, then nail it.
27:50Right, coming over that little light lift now.
27:52He's coming through Wilson Bend. Let's see, does it step out of line?
27:55He's in to third.
27:57Ooh, look at that! Look at that!
27:59Massive, massive oversteer right.
28:02And through the hammerhead, no understeer at all.
28:04Incredible. Big oversteer.
28:06He's trying not to hit those tyres on the left.
28:08And he's through!
28:09So, how's it handle Carpenter's Corner?
28:12This is where you really want to nail it.
28:14Ooh, look at that!
28:16Every power car that goes around our test track is going to set a lap time.
28:19We're going to put those lap times up here on our power lap time board.
28:22And the Lamborghini was?
28:241 minute 29, which is extremely good, so I'm going to put that up here.
28:28Okay, fine. Now, we know the Lamborghini...
28:30Jeremy, I can't get Lamborghini Merchilago on here.
28:33A simple Lambo will perhaps suffice.
28:35I think I'll have to do it.
28:36Lambo.
28:37There we are, 1.29.
28:38Okay, Tom.
28:38Now, we know that the Pagani is faster than the Lamborghini in a straight line.
28:42We've already seen that, but the Lambo, I've driven it, is fast around the corners.
28:46So, let's put the Stig in the Zonda, see what happens.
29:07He's coming into the first corner here.
29:09How's it looking through there?
29:11Ooh, it's looking a bit wobbly, but...
29:13Is he still on the track? Yes, he is.
29:15Now, he's got to get it right the way back across the other side to get it...
29:20This is the hard one.
29:22This is where... Yes, look at that.
29:23He's really having to fight that car.
29:26Even I found it difficult through there.
29:28Now, he's coming up really, really hard and fast.
29:31He's hard on the brakes here, 110 metres.
29:33That's 150 miles an hour, all the way down into second gear.
29:36He's actually going to have to use first in this car.
29:39How much is the understeer through the Hammerhead corner?
29:41God, he's actually got some understeer there.
29:43Good Stig. Well done, Stig.
29:46It really is quite a driver, this one.
29:49Right, follow through, let's listen.
29:53Now, he did a dab on the brakes there.
29:55He's going through the follow through without following through.
29:58Fighting. God, he's fighting the wheel.
30:00Up through there.
30:00A little bit on the brake there, we can see.
30:03On the power.
30:04That really is wet out there for this one.
30:06That is a dry bit here.
30:07It's still wet.
30:08Look, a bit damp brake hard.
30:10And he's in to back rack bend.
30:13Breaking again now for Carpenter's Corner.
30:17Boom.
30:18He's still got the power on.
30:20And he's done it.
30:22Should apologise for the easy listening soundtrack going on there.
30:26It's the Stig.
30:27It likes to listen to the sounds of the lounge as it goes round.
30:29We've no idea why.
30:30Perhaps it calms it down.
30:31Anyway.
30:32Grim, but no need to apologise for that time.
30:34One minute twenty-three.
30:35That's what?
30:36Six seconds off the Lambo's time.
30:38That's incredible.
30:38The incredible thing is it must have made it up in the straights all that time.
30:42Because I know I drove both cars.
30:43The Lambo's faster through the corners.
30:44That's where it has the power.
30:45One minute twenty-three.
30:46I honestly can't see that being beaten throughout the entire series.
30:50I think we've peaked.
30:50Neither can I.
30:51Right.
30:51There is a story going round that says if a car goes fast enough past a speed camera,
30:57when the second flash goes off and it needs that to verify the speed,
31:01the car won't be there.
31:02It's going so fast it will have left the shot entirely.
31:05So in the name of scientific endeavour and under controlled circumstances,
31:09we had a go so that you don't have to.
31:12We've got together everything we need to do this.
31:15A piece of track.
31:17Straight, obviously.
31:20We've got a speed camera.
31:22Oh, and a really fast car.
31:25And the stick to drive it.
31:39Honda Civic Type R.
31:41Lots of people have got these.
31:43It'll hit 60 miles an hour in 7.2 seconds and go on to a top speed of 146 miles
31:49an hour.
31:50But will that be enough to beat the camera?
32:04So how fast was that?
32:05Well, I've got the pictures back.
32:06It was 129 miles an hour.
32:09And here's the results of the first flash.
32:11And there's a Honda Civic doing 129 miles an hour.
32:13Plane in shot.
32:14And then the second photograph, ah, it's still there.
32:18So 129 isn't fast enough.
32:20That won't do it.
32:21But we didn't give up.
32:22We had another go.
32:23And we'll do that later on.
32:24Good.
32:25Now, when most comedians come, actors make it to the big time, they buy themselves a big-time car.
32:32Rowan Atkinson, for instance, bought himself a McLaren F1.
32:35Steve Coogan got a Ferrari 355.
32:37Norman Wisdom, well, forget that one.
32:40Anyway, our guest tonight, when he made it to the big time, he bought one of these.
32:45Are we ready?
32:46Right.
32:47Here we go.
32:47Look at that.
32:49It is a Vauxhall Cavalier convertible.
32:56Plainly, this guy was devoted to making people laugh, even when he was on his way to the supermarket.
33:02Shall we meet him?
33:03Ladies and gentlemen, Harry Anfield.
33:07How are you?
33:12How are you?
33:17How are you?
33:26How are you?
33:26Look at this, you had to go up to the lights.
33:27In the middle of London, because I've always lived in London.
33:29Instead of in the lights, and you've got the roof down, and there are people crossing
33:33the road in front of you.
33:33And they're looking and they see these.
33:34Oh, it loads of money.
33:40Oh, the lights are red.
33:48here there's a magazine the convertible correspondence for the vauxhall cavalier
33:54convertible owners club great you have i know you you appeared in this and this is my favorite bit
33:59under famous owners an occasional feature they haven't been able to find anyone since you've got
34:05one and you said it was like it was better than a bmw did i yeah well i think it
34:10is it's better
34:11than a bmw what fine hair yeah which bit of it did you think was better than a bmw well
34:17i think i
34:17thought it the price was better than fair point interestingly um when you decided that it was
34:25time to part with the um vauxhall cavalier convertible you were getting even more famous at the time
34:31you went backwards and bought a rover 200 yes yes i did again what in god's name possessed you to
34:39do
34:39that because most work in our industry is done in soho and there was a shop in soho that sailed
34:45rovers so i went in there and and bought the rover forgive me soho it's close to park lane on
34:52which
34:52from memory there's aston martin jaguar bmw lexus mclaren and so right and so forth right you could
35:00have gone to any one of those shops not to the rover one and bought a rover 200 which was
35:04a rover was in
35:05soho and they're about half a mile away and you know then so is this why you swapped the rover
35:10for a metro yeah when you were going around to say see rowan atkinson or whoever at the time in
35:18your
35:18cavalier or your metro or your rover did they say harry and take you on one side maybe try to
35:24give you
35:24some advice no they're very but in fact it did actually happen once i never talk about sort of
35:28seeing other but i do have a abiding memory in my head of driving around to rowan's house
35:36it sounds very show busy but it's the only time it's ever happened and robbie coltrane was there
35:40and stephen fry and hugh laurie and they all had nice cars and i arrived at my cavalier
35:46and they were all outside it was a nice day and they were all talking about each other's cars and
35:50and they looked at me and i looked at them and no one ever mentioned it just no one ever
35:55mentioned
35:55there's nothing no one ever mentioned the car none of them ever anyway what have you got now
36:01let's uh now we've got um a mercedes estate yes very very nice it's very small and it's too small
36:09and uh my wife's got a mini very good have you seen this yes um i want that car it's
36:16called a volvo
36:16i want it's got seven seats and oh there's a picture on the screen that's a volvo because i'm not
36:23allowed to drive because my wife likes to drive so i have to sit in the other thing and i
36:28at the
36:28moment i sit in our car like this with an airbag here this one it looks very big i either
36:35want this
36:35or the bmw one which we tried out it's fantastic no you don't it's great i assure you that's the
36:40ideal
36:41car you do my wife to drive because she's got blonde hair and we live in notting hill and that's
36:45the car you know people drive you're not just here to chat today aren't i no because earlier today
36:52um we had you doing some work oh yeah absolutely you see the thing is every week we are going
36:58to
36:58run an item call a star in a reasonably priced car we got the star obviously what we then needed
37:03was a reasonably priced car now we talked to hyundai they said no we talked to nissan they said no
37:10we
37:10they said no then we talked to suzuki and they said sure heavily honor 9995 pounds on the road
37:18in fact it's over there there it is and what a beauty it is the most beautiful car i've ever
37:25seen
37:25in the world absolutely and the idea is is that every week our star will take that round our test
37:33track see how fast he or she can do it and then we'll post that time on a board and
37:38at the end of
37:39the series we'll be able to name britain's fastest celebrity trouble is of course uh we weren't
37:43going to let you out yeah go out first of all i had to try it with the other guys
37:47and uh this is
37:48what happened
37:5634 miles an hour no look at this look at this it's going well i once drove a super tanker
38:02that was a bit like this really similar we're going off we're going off we're off we're off
38:18time even with big jason in the back of one minute fifty seconds um now we're currently
38:25cutting your lap in the edit suite we'll be showing it later how fast do you think you
38:30might have done it i don't know you don't know it was very fast was it right i can't remember
38:34what comes next oh i know we're going to see if we can get that um car to go through
38:38a speed
38:38camera we're going to try and beat a speed camera do you want me to stay here or go no
38:43have
38:43a seat roll your sleeves right would you like a drink yeah chill earlier on in the name of
38:49scientific endeavor we tried to see if it was possible to go fast enough to beat a speed camera
38:53we used a honda civic type r it did 129 miles an hour and it was still there for the
38:58second flash
38:58you might think this thing would be the one to do it in it wouldn't it's only a pretend one
39:0220 miles
39:03an hour tops so we got hold of a faster car right then this should be worth a go the
39:08mercedes
39:10cl55 amg at 89 grand not only does it cost as much as a house it's nearly as big as
39:16one but
39:16it'll still do 60 miles an hour in 4.7 seconds and it'll cruise all day at 155 as easily
39:22as your
39:23car will do 30 but will that be enough let's find out go on then
39:44well we've got the pictures back and here they are 148 miles an hour and uh oh dear there is
39:50in
39:50the first one and still there in the second one that isn't fast enough we're gonna have to try and
39:55go even faster and we will do that okay so far in the program we've shown you how to save
40:01money on
40:01a family hatchback we're trying to save you some money on speeding fines by showing you that if
40:06you speed up you can get around them and now we're going to give you the biggest money saving tip
40:11of
40:12them all there's been a lot of talk in the newspapers on the radio this last couple of weeks
40:16about people running their cars their diesel engine cars i should say on vegetable oil there's
40:21been so many people trying it that up north one supermarket train chain is now rationing the
40:28amount of oil that it will sell to individuals um now the thing is is that you can run a
40:34car
40:34on vegetable oil it's not completely brilliant however i've been joined here by jason taylor you
40:41reckon you've got a little additive that makes the whole thing better yeah yeah what we've got here
40:45is some normal vegetable that's uh used vegetable oil from a mexican restaurant used used yeah why
40:53used well we find it gives it a bit better power to the engine really it's all these bits we
40:58have to
40:58strain those out obviously so we've got that over here one of these j cloths okay and in we go
41:05so
41:05i'll collect the bits look at that and you reckon this will work yeah it's like golden elixir that
41:12stuff does it make the car smell of it it is actually the different restaurants you can tell
41:18what you're running it on yeah so we want a car on this it's going to a little essence of
41:24where it
41:24came from yeah okay that's in there like that fine now what have you worked out you have to add
41:29to that
41:29right well just to make it a bit a bit more runnier you add a solvent and for this experiment
41:35we've got
41:36a non-kerosene based white spirit okay it has to be non-kerosene based for tax reasons okay and
41:42how much do we have to put in uh in in a litre in 97 millilitres of uh vegetable oil
41:48put three
41:49millilitres of that in there so that's about that much okay let's just get that pull that over here
41:54okay so we add that okay and then we uh whisk it up well actually you don't really need to
42:02risk uh whisk it
42:03but uh so is that ready to go now that's ready to well no you should let it stand for
42:07at least
42:07a week or so and how much does that cost for a litre about three pence plus the tax oh
42:14you have to pay
42:14tax if you didn't tell the customs and excise that's 3p if you do tell them you have to tell
42:20them okay
42:20of course you have to tell them you have to tell them right and how much are they going to
42:26charge
42:27uh 26 pence but check with your local custom customs and excise office there's about 29p a
42:33litre you've got to fill a couple of forms in yeah 29p a litre let's just run through you do
42:37you have
42:37to modify the engine no just any old diesel will do yeah and you can and it's fine yeah performance
42:43the same as diesel maybe even better and you reckon we could tip that into a diesel car it'll work
42:48yeah got to give that a go haven't we this is a volvo 740 in the front there's a diesel
42:56engine and in
42:57the tank at the back nothing it's empty listen start the engine can't start the engine no fuel and we
43:06can verify that look here we have an independent adjudicator bell you'll verify there's nothing in
43:11there there's nothing in the tank we train of 25 liters it's completely empty now right brilliant well
43:15if we go around the back and look in the boot we find a big container full of vegetable oil
43:23from el
43:24rio's in macclesfield now we've added a splash of white spirit and bal is going to pour that into the
43:31tank right it's now been converted from a carnivore into a herbivore but of course being a diesel you
43:40can't just start it you have to bleed the system first which you've just done yes pal system bled
43:45no airlocks in there good let's close the bonnet if you want to step in and let's see if it
43:51starts
43:52if it does i shall be astonished
43:59that's amazing go go
44:08one pound 50 a gallon and it's working wow it's actually i mean it's still going around is it green
44:14so environmental yeah apparently so yeah wow anyway harry big news your lap has been edited do you want
44:21to have a look yes please you'd like to see harry's lap yes okay here we go hope i don't
44:27die
44:27ready steady go it went skid up on the 30 miles an hour now i'm going at 40 miles an
44:36hour
44:3650 miles an hour blimey
44:41oh yeah that's supposed to be take that down
44:44wahey and nicely controlled
44:53little foot on the brake little tiny bit and into second lovely take it round into second
45:06yes i can feel some kind of braking thing happening there me braking with the car
45:18oh yes whoa hey i lost control of that nice that was fun
45:32finished i'm the winner in a race of one
45:40there are a couple of things i've got to bring up on that on one of the corners i think
45:45it was
45:45baccarat bend there the tail was out you're a bit hypocrite you came off the bloody circuit
45:51i know i'm saying this is praise oh this is a good thing it's a good thing it's a good
45:57thing i mean
45:57here i was cavalier convertible metro rover 200 i assumed father of three i assumed that you'd be
46:05useless well i was useless no but it's a very nice car because you put your foot on the brake
46:10and it it doesn't skid really it goes it's got that aps braking thing really that'll do yes so you
46:17go in third because it doesn't really go in fourth but it's very nice that's what i call a proper
46:22a to b
46:23car want to know how fast it was i reckon should i guess that was 148 i was 150
46:31147 i've got some disappointing news for you no enfield i'll just put you up here you're the very
46:38first star in a reasonably priced car enfield two minutes one second and that's only 11 seconds
46:48off the pace and that's not bad i've been driving around there all day there you go put you there
46:55ladies and gentlemen harry unfield
47:06right time now for some insider dealing jason what you got for us this week well first of all the
47:10mini
47:11so great news for harry at last after his appalling run of bad luck with cars he's bought one that's
47:15good news
47:16um the car's been out for about 12 months now and the first of those cars are actually starting to
47:20be listed in glasses guide and cab and incredibly enough the basic model the mini one which is this
47:24one uh was just on 10 000 pounds when it was new today that car as a used car is
47:30worth 10 and a half
47:30thousand so you could you could run one for a year 10 000 miles yeah and sell it for more
47:36than you
47:37paid and make a profit 500 pounds i mean that sometimes happens with expensive cars doesn't it ferraris
47:41yeah but something this cheap i mean it just doesn't happen that's astonishing think how sick
47:48i'm feeling should have bought a whole dozen of them i mean the problem is often is they've just
47:52the same thing's happening in america they've just shipped 20 000 over there they sold that in
47:56well 15 minutes i mean you know ridiculous all gone yeah it really has been a success what else is
48:02there well subaru everybody knows the impreza turbo um when the car first came out it was a great
48:08broken car but that's the one we remember unfortunately the ugly bug that's the one we've
48:12got now that's the one we've got now now that car's only been out for just under three years
48:15but it's been doing so badly that subaru realized they had to change the way the thing looks
48:20they've actually got a facelift coming out in february of next year which everybody knows about
48:23everybody knows about the problem they've got is that they've got stacks of these
48:26so they're going to do something about it and what they're doing is they're taking three grand
48:30three grand off the price of these cars so how much is it now 18995 you can buy brand new
48:35subaru turbo seriously they will do that you walk in you just go i want three thousand off that
48:40they go certainly they've dropped it by three grand that's before you do any discount any
48:43negotiation well there's still some most you'll pay for one is 18995 and then there'll be a new
48:48pretty i mean you could just buy that kick it in the headlights make it look better anyway
48:54that's fantastic good news you want to buy a new one they are so cheap but the problem is
48:58that when something new drops in price you've got to reflect that in the used car values as well
49:02yeah but i haven't got a used subaru so why do i care because if you're going to buy a
49:06used subaru
49:07you shouldn't you should wait for a couple of months wait for these to flood the market and
49:10you'll save yourself another couple of grand on a used one brilliant what else xc90 the suv the new
49:17the new volvo suv volvo have made a major error with this car because the car's just so good
49:22but they're only going to make three and a half thousand yeah three and a half thousand for the uk
49:26for
49:26the whole year now if you divide that by 220 dealers yeah it works out about one car per dealer
49:31per month
49:32which is nowhere near enough which is nowhere near enough i was talking to someone from volvo
49:36the other day and he said well i think we're only going to make 50 000 i just thought i
49:39can't believe
49:40that because they've got a volvo pretty popular make it an off-road car well sort of off-road car
49:44and that's really doubly popular then they're going to put seven seats in it three rows still space
49:49behind for a labrador or any other sort of sloney dog and then they've got tvs in the back they've
49:54got
49:54separate hi-fi you can listen to tapes in the middle seats and stereo and radio in the front and
50:00then
50:00they said it will sell many of those even though it's 12 000 pounds less than an x5 potty so
50:06harry
50:06hang on to your mini and buy a volvo and you save so much money you can buy the cavalier
50:11back
50:13mazda have made precisely two interesting cars in recent years the mx5 which is a sports car for
50:19girls and blokes who like abba and the rx7 which was good but a bit daft so news of a
50:24new
50:24mazda sports saloon is hardly going to excite anyone outside of the frimbley green bowls club is it
50:51people don't buy mazdas because they desperately want a mazda they buy them because well unfortunately
50:57for them at that particular time it suits their needs in that sense mazdas are like sink plungers
51:04you don't really want one but sometimes you just gotta have one
51:13mazdas are good cars for shy exhibitionists you could drive one butt naked through any major town
51:19in the world and not an eye would be batted they're practically invisible
51:31the mazda 6 needed an image so it got one and it looks fantastic
51:41mazda confessed quite openly to leaning over the shoulders and cribbing from bmw and volkswagen
51:46but they haven't been stupid enough just to turn out a straight copy oh no the interior doesn't
51:52look like a japanese copy of a german design this is a japanese design they've used their own
51:58ideas and the changes are much more than merely cosmetic
52:05they haven't messed around for this car they haven't just tweaked the old 626 and launched it
52:09as an all-new motor this is entirely new so there's a whole new range of engines this is a
52:142.3
52:15litre four-cylinder job the figures really aren't that good on paper it's about 166 brake horsepower
52:22if you're interested 0-60 is claimed in nine seconds oh hum but that doesn't tell the whole story the
52:29point is it's tuned so that it's a constant power delivery it's mid-range it's always there it feels
52:35like a bigger lazier engine than it really is
52:43and then there's the handling which well where did this come from this is a mazda yeah are we quite
52:50sure it goes around corners really really well it just grips and grips if anything it's encouraging
52:58me to misbehave and i particularly like that this is incredible
53:14it is exciting to drive and i was really not expecting that it's just such a shock like
53:21discovering somebody really gray and average like john major is a shagmeister
53:35one blip does make itself abundantly clear pretty quickly it's quite noisy as soon as you just head
53:41off in one direction for any length of time with any speed on there's a lot of road rumble and
53:46wind
53:46noise that's gonna be bad news when you get to the motorways so how much will it cost well the
53:55cheapest
53:55bmw 3 series is 18 695 quid and for that you'll be lucky if you get the sun visor this
54:02is the top
54:03spec mazda 6 it's got everything on it and it'll cost you 17 995 quid so will value for money
54:11cure milton
54:12keynes man of his bmw addiction probably not this is still a mazda people will think of it as a
54:21mazda
54:21so no matter how good it is let's be honest a life of luxury and excitement in the south of
54:26france
54:26does not await the mazda 6 i'm sorry for you it's going to be a life of powering up and
54:32down the m5
54:33the m4 service stations cheap motels
54:39but it makes me feel good that at least we've brought it out here for a final dangle thrashing
54:44a final day out a final fling before you begin your life of misery and servitude
54:54now i've driven this car and i couldn't believe how brilliant it was it it just feels so tight it's
55:01sharp and it's a mazda i know and seven hundred pounds cheaper than a bmw another seven hundred
55:06pounds saved with more power and more kit quite an achievement
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