Skip to playerSkip to main content
yousafjamal1999
#TheGrandTour #OneForTheRoad #ClarksonHammondMay #FinalLap #ZimbabweSpecial

After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.

#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory

Category

🚗
Motor
Transcript
00:00:29Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:38CastingWords
00:01:04CastingWords
00:01:05Thank you so much. Thank you, everybody.
00:01:10Thank you, everybody. Thank you, thank you, and welcome.
00:01:18And in this week's show...
00:01:22Locke, Scott, and two smoking beavers.
00:01:37Now, I want to begin by talking about money. Bear with us on this one.
00:01:42You see, if you put £35,000 in a saving account in the year 2000,
00:01:48you'd now have around £60,000.
00:01:51However, if you put that same £35,000 into an e-type Jaguar,
00:01:57you'd now have £100,000.
00:02:00Yeah, just about everything, even remotely rare or interesting,
00:02:03is worth a fortune these days.
00:02:05Aston Martin DB5, that'll cost you £750,000.
00:02:10Ferrari Daytona, £600,000.
00:02:13A Pagoda Roof Mercedes SL, that'll set you back at least £75,000 now.
00:02:17It's not just exotic cars, either. Ford Escort Mexico, OK?
00:02:21Humdrum car, that's a £60,000 thing these days.
00:02:25£60,000. Yeah, it is.
00:02:26However, there are one or two rare and interesting cars
00:02:31that seem to have slipped through the net,
00:02:33whose prices haven't yet gone through the ceiling.
00:02:36So we decided to get out there
00:02:40and see which of us was best
00:02:42at spotting that investment opportunity.
00:02:45Exactly. So we each bought a classic car,
00:02:48and then to see which one of us had got the best deal,
00:02:51we took the grand tour to what one of our producers,
00:02:53who's Scottish, always says,
00:02:55is the best, most beautiful place on Earth.
00:02:59Scotland.
00:03:08We chose for our meeting point,
00:03:10a quaint fishing port near Inverness.
00:03:16And I was the first to arrive in an Alfa Romeo GTV6.
00:03:25Now, you would imagine that when one of these
00:03:29comes onto the market,
00:03:31classic car enthusiasts are running around
00:03:33like they're in a zombie movie,
00:03:35and it's Black Friday.
00:03:38But no.
00:03:40I bought this from an 83-year-old man
00:03:44who'd had it since new
00:03:46and was only selling it
00:03:47because his 84-year-old wife
00:03:49found it so difficult to get in and out of,
00:03:51you know.
00:03:52It's only done 26,000 miles,
00:03:55and yet it cost 10,000 pounds.
00:03:58And 10,000 pounds,
00:03:59that's a round of drinks in the world
00:04:01where this sort of thing belongs.
00:04:04Oh, hello.
00:04:06James May in a Lancia Gamma Coupe.
00:04:09It's one of the prettiest cars ever made,
00:04:11but don't tell him I said that.
00:04:14Morning, May.
00:04:17How much?
00:04:18£13,500.
00:04:20Oh, so £3,500 more
00:04:23than I paid for this vastly superior Alfa Romeo.
00:04:27Well, £13,500 is a bargain
00:04:29for a car that is coach-built
00:04:31and extremely rare and beautiful.
00:04:33But it isn't exotic like this is.
00:04:35What do you mean it's not exotic?
00:04:37OK, may I just talk you through
00:04:38some of this car's features?
00:04:39Yes?
00:04:41Transaxle, gearbox at the back,
00:04:42twin plate clutch,
00:04:44discs all round.
00:04:45Wow.
00:04:46Unusual at the time.
00:04:47One of the best engines ever made,
00:04:48two and a half litre V6.
00:04:49Those aren't my words, by the way.
00:04:51They are the words of James May
00:04:53in Car Magazine.
00:04:54Yes, I did say that.
00:04:55You love this engine.
00:04:56I do.
00:04:56And this has won the European Touring Car Championship
00:04:59four years on the track.
00:05:00It won the British Touring Car Championship.
00:05:02This has got race breeding as well.
00:05:04Well, the Gamma?
00:05:05It's a Lancia.
00:05:06They're the most successful rallying team in history.
00:05:09Not my words,
00:05:10the words of Jeremy Clarkson.
00:05:12And that is a better looking car.
00:05:14What is this?
00:05:15Yes.
00:05:15It is superb.
00:05:18It is superb.
00:05:18It's not superb.
00:05:19I'll tell you what's not superb.
00:05:21Richard Hammond arriving in a Fiat X19.
00:05:25How much?
00:05:28£2,250.
00:05:31Somebody saw you coming, Hammond.
00:05:34What for a baby Ferrari?
00:05:352,000...
00:05:36Did you just call it a baby Ferrari?
00:05:38He did.
00:05:38Because it is mid-engined Italian.
00:05:40That's exactly what it is.
00:05:41Well, listen to that sound.
00:05:42I know.
00:05:43That is the reassuring sound of tin on Russian steel.
00:05:48It's a light, bright, effervescent sound just like the car.
00:05:51How many colours has this car been?
00:05:54It was black, then it was red, then it was white, then it was pale blue, and now it's purple.
00:05:58I'd like to add, actually, it's not how many colours has this car been.
00:06:02How many cars has this been?
00:06:04Well, quite.
00:06:05It's now going brown.
00:06:06Brown, yeah.
00:06:07All right, then, I'm not going to turn around and try and work out which Alfa you've bought.
00:06:12Ta-da!
00:06:12The best Alfa.
00:06:14It's a GTV6.
00:06:15Exactly.
00:06:16Yep.
00:06:17Why has it got this plastic bit in the middle of the bond?
00:06:19Genius.
00:06:20The engine in this car had a small issue.
00:06:23It used to backfire, well, frontfire, actually, and blow the top off the engine, yeah?
00:06:27So that would damage the bonnet, so they put this plastic panel, which was easier to replace.
00:06:32Why didn't they stop it backfiring?
00:06:35Oh, don't be ridiculous.
00:06:36They were busy.
00:06:37Lazy.
00:06:37Can I just ask?
00:06:39Hmm?
00:06:39What's that broom handle thing for?
00:06:41Ah, well, this is another characteristic of the GTV6, is that when you park up, you need
00:06:47to keep the clutch pedal depressed using a broom handle like that.
00:06:51Right.
00:06:51Otherwise, the clutch and the flywheel will fuse together.
00:06:54I see.
00:06:55You know I used to own one of these, isn't it?
00:06:57Not a lot I don't know about it.
00:06:59Yeah.
00:06:59When you used to own one of these, how did you find the gear change?
00:07:02Erm, smooth, sneaky.
00:07:04No, it wasn't, was it?
00:07:05No, those aren't quite the right words.
00:07:07Terrible.
00:07:07What about second?
00:07:09Yeah.
00:07:09Second?
00:07:11I don't know, I never found it.
00:07:12No, exactly.
00:07:13Yes, let's not get bogged down with some of the Elfers' minor design flaws.
00:07:18Disaster.
00:07:19Because all three of us have got classic cars.
00:07:22I have, yes.
00:07:23For good money.
00:07:24Mm-hmm.
00:07:24We're in Scotland, so why don't we take them on a drive in, well, let's be honest, Scotland
00:07:29Scotland is just a road trip.
00:07:31Well.
00:07:31I agree.
00:07:32We could, while we're here, we could do the NC500.
00:07:36Which, I mean, that is supposed, it's...
00:07:37Voted by Condé Nast Traveller magazine, voted it the best road trip in the world.
00:07:43Locks, mountains, it's just...
00:07:45All the pretty bits, yeah.
00:07:46I mean, it's all the best bits of Scotland.
00:07:48Right, 500 miles round the north coast of Scotland.
00:07:50In Italian exotic cars.
00:07:52Oh, hang on.
00:07:53What?
00:07:53Text.
00:07:54Yeah.
00:07:55Mr. Wilman.
00:07:57Mr. Wilman.
00:07:59It says, those cars will not do 500 yards, leave alone 500 miles.
00:08:05Mm-hmm.
00:08:05So I provided three backup vehicles which you can use to get home when they go wrong and
00:08:09catch fire and explode.
00:08:14I was wondering what they were.
00:08:16Funny.
00:08:17How did he know we were going to do 500 miles?
00:08:20That's a good point, actually, because Hammond's only just suggested it.
00:08:24How did he know that?
00:08:24How did he get three bicycles?
00:08:27Put in Mr. Wilman's psychic powers to one side, we climbed a board and set off into the
00:08:36giant oil painting that is Scotland.
00:08:47Oh.
00:08:58This isn't exactly like the tourist authority would have you believe, is it?
00:09:03It doesn't look like it looks on the shortbread tins.
00:09:07This render that they put on everything is like a sort of batter for houses, isn't it?
00:09:12Batter.
00:09:15I've battered my house.
00:09:18You can see why they want to be independent, can't you?
00:09:21Get away from us lot.
00:09:22Well, you wouldn't want people coming in and messing all this up, would you?
00:09:26I used to have a fiercely Scottish neighbour in London.
00:09:30Why would a Scottish person go and live in London?
00:09:33I don't know, because he'd do anything for Scotland.
00:09:35Well, except live there.
00:09:37Was he called Sean Connery?
00:09:41Eventually, we cleared the fishing port and found ourselves on the open road where we could
00:09:47get down to the business of enjoying our pedigree Italian classics and the fiat.
00:09:56I don't know.
00:09:57My car is just so refined and sophisticated and, in fact, really well looked after by its previous owner.
00:10:05It was obviously lovely.
00:10:09One of my windscreen wipers just fell off.
00:10:15Oh, dear.
00:10:19You can't get out.
00:10:22We just lift it up.
00:10:24There you go.
00:10:24You just have to drive like that.
00:10:26James, can I just say you've done three miles?
00:10:28It's mended for now.
00:10:30Don't turn it on again.
00:10:31Let's just turn it on.
00:10:32I want to see what happens.
00:10:33Right, okay.
00:10:35You ready?
00:10:39In Scotland.
00:10:40In Scotland, you won't need it.
00:10:41That's the thing.
00:10:42Perfect.
00:10:42Because it never rains.
00:10:54Right, now we're alone, viewers.
00:10:55I can reveal that that windscreen wiper incident is really a bit of an aside compared with some of the
00:11:00other problems that this car has.
00:11:02Most of these relate to the engine, in particular the way Lancia mounted the power steering pump on the end
00:11:09of one of the camshafts.
00:11:12Basically, you can't really use full lock, especially when the engine's cold, otherwise the engine will explode.
00:11:18The thermostat was fitted in the wrong place, which leads to overheating very suddenly, and then the engine can explode.
00:11:25And there were some problems with the gasket materials, which causes the coolant to mix with the oil with engine
00:11:30exploding sort of results, really.
00:11:34James, I heard Wednesdays can cause your car to explode, so you need to be careful tomorrow.
00:11:40Proximity to trees, lakes, grass, heather, grouse, or tartan, all those things cause it to explode, I'm sure.
00:11:49Look, I'm sitting here trying to explain to the viewers why the engine might explode, and I'm constantly interrupted with
00:11:55your stupid exploding engine jokes.
00:11:57Okay, carry on, but do it quickly before the engine explodes.
00:12:02Meanwhile, in the GTV6...
00:12:05Oh, no, what's that?
00:12:07Third? Right, good, third.
00:12:13Fourth? Yeah, fourth.
00:12:15Or is it fourth or second?
00:12:18I was getting reacquainted with all the peculiar little foibles.
00:12:23Driving position's not brilliant.
00:12:25Pedals are far too close to the seats, you have to drive with your legs wide apart.
00:12:31Not so bad if you're a man.
00:12:33If you're a girl, though, trousers is the strategy you need to think about in the morning.
00:12:39However, despite all the weirdness, I do still absolutely love this thing.
00:12:47It was my ownership of a GTV6 that taught me what cars are all about.
00:12:54You need a personality, you need flaws for them to be human.
00:12:59And James May was right for the first time in his life, for the only time in his life.
00:13:04This is one of the greatest engines ever made.
00:13:08The creamiest, the smoothest, and the most beautiful to listen to.
00:13:17That's not exhaust noise. That's an actual engine.
00:13:22As James and I enjoyed our classic thoroughbreds, Richard was driving along in his purple Fiat.
00:13:30Unleash 80 horsepower.
00:13:33Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
00:13:37Oh!
00:13:38I mean, this really weighs 960 kilos.
00:13:43Fiat sold 170,000 H1 9s, so this doesn't have rarity like theirs does.
00:13:48But let's contrast rarity with the opposite, which is popularity.
00:13:54Because that's what this car was. Immensely popular.
00:13:58And I have the pop-up headlamps.
00:14:02Oh yeah!
00:14:04I'm going to pop them down again now.
00:14:07Ha ha ha ha! I can do that whenever I want!
00:14:11One slight complaint about the Fiat, the pedals are very, very small and very close together.
00:14:18And if you try and operate them with, let's say, your feet, you'll find that your feet are too big.
00:14:25Really, you just need to use a toe on each.
00:14:33Soon, Hammond spotted a racetrack and suggested we have a go on it.
00:14:39And as we pulled up, it became clear that tiny pedals weren't his only problem.
00:14:55That's quite high revs.
00:14:57Yeah, idle's quite high, yeah.
00:14:58Is that its idle speed?
00:14:59Yes.
00:15:00It's keen!
00:15:04Since this was actually a go-kart track, it was too narrow for kart racing.
00:15:10So I decided we should have a drifting competition.
00:15:19Come on, little Fiat.
00:15:25It doesn't work.
00:15:29It simply doesn't really have the power to throw its tail out properly.
00:15:38Even though my Alfa had twice the horsepower of the Fiat, things weren't great for me either.
00:15:45You can't unstick the tail of a GTV6.
00:15:50You just can't.
00:15:51Ready?
00:15:52Just grip and more grip.
00:15:57I know Roger Moore drifted a GTV6 in Octopussy, but then he crashed into a fence and had to dress
00:16:07up as a clown.
00:16:10In the Gamma, I was confident I'd succeed where my colleagues had failed.
00:16:18Right, here we go.
00:16:19Lancer is one of the greatest names in rallying history.
00:16:22So, control drift should be second nature to this.
00:16:25So I approach that corner.
00:16:27Heel and toe it and...
00:16:35Brake, lift off.
00:16:40No.
00:16:42At this point, I suddenly remembered something important.
00:16:46This is front wheel drive, isn't it?
00:16:47What was I thinking of?
00:16:49It's not going to drift.
00:16:53Happily though, the enthralled local audience were able to find a solution.
00:16:58What I do is, I take the rear wheels off, let the tyres down and put these plastic covers on.
00:17:04Then put the tyres back up again, put them back on.
00:17:06That gives the car the loose back end you want to drift.
00:17:09These are just...
00:17:10This is like putting insulating tape on the back wheels of your Scalextric cars.
00:17:15Stand by.
00:17:17With no help from anyone else on this freezing day, the drift covers were soon fitted.
00:17:26Oh, here we go.
00:17:31Oh!
00:17:35Right, turn in.
00:17:37Get the drifts going and...
00:17:44This entertainment went on for quite some time.
00:17:50Ah!
00:18:05Nope.
00:18:06Until, eventually...
00:18:08Grab the brakes in...
00:18:12And hold it.
00:18:13Hold it!
00:18:14Hold it!
00:18:14Yes!
00:18:15Yes!
00:18:15Yes!
00:18:17Yes!
00:18:19Yes!
00:18:23This looks like a lot of fun.
00:18:25We're going to do that.
00:18:25We're going to try it.
00:18:27Oh, no.
00:18:27There's the only set.
00:18:29What are those things?
00:18:30Yeah, they're the only set, so we can't do it.
00:18:31No, we can make some.
00:18:39Did you ask if you could borrow this bit?
00:18:41No, but they won't need it.
00:18:45And rotate.
00:18:48This goes over.
00:18:51It'll require a little bit of persuasion.
00:18:53James May just drifted perfectly behind you then.
00:18:55This is another of those weird days.
00:18:59With his tyre covers made, Hammond decided not to hold back.
00:19:12Oh, this is going to be...
00:19:14I mean, seriously, he's going to get to that corner and then...
00:19:20Where can the helicopter land?
00:19:24Here comes a drift. Here it comes.
00:19:27And drifting.
00:19:31It's completely out of control.
00:19:37Let's just try again.
00:19:43That's fallen off.
00:19:44That could be interesting.
00:19:49And I am turning in.
00:19:51Drifting.
00:19:53Oh, no. I've got no steering.
00:19:58Annoyingly, Hammond's dismal failure didn't stop him fitting his ridiculous contraptions to my precious Alfa.
00:20:05And insisting that I have a go.
00:20:08Think of the trouble Alfa Romeo went to to make this car exquisite.
00:20:14Think of the trouble that Pirelli went to to make the tyres grip properly.
00:20:19And then along comes Hammond with the bin.
00:20:23Whatever. Here we go.
00:20:31What was that noise?
00:20:34The whole car is vibrating.
00:20:36The whole car is vibrating.
00:20:39Yeah. That's a massive vibration.
00:20:43Hammond! You blithering idiot! You totally ruined this car!
00:20:48An inspection of the undersides revealed some grim news.
00:20:54That has come off. So the prop shaft is now, well, it's still joining the gearbox or the transaxle to
00:21:00the engine, but by a thread.
00:21:02And if I did anything more than a rabbit like that, it's going to come off.
00:21:06If I'm driving along, then that's the end of the Alfa.
00:21:10Well, that's interesting. My car's working and I'd like a drink.
00:21:13The hotel is about 25 miles away, so I think I'll get on with it, if you don't mind.
00:21:18You can't leave... No, you can't leave me now.
00:21:20What do you mean, I can't leave you now?
00:21:22Well, it's... Have you seen... Have you seen how cold it is?
00:21:26I can't see how cold it is, but I can feel it.
00:21:28No, but I actually just looked. Drizzle 6 feels like 2.
00:21:32Well, you know what would warm you up?
00:21:33What?
00:21:34A bicycle ride. It always does.
00:21:4120 miles through this freezing middle of nowhere.
00:21:48Hey, Richard, the hamster Hammond. Is your car warm and dry? I'm just checking.
00:21:53Yeah, I'm warm and dry. You warm and dry?
00:21:55I'm very warm and dry.
00:22:07Oh, I meant to ask, would you like a long gin and tonic sitting at a bar stool?
00:22:11Yes. Yes, I would. And we've only got, well, it's not far, in a car.
00:22:19Oh, God.
00:22:21Oh, come on!
00:22:23Rub it in! Seriously, rub it in!
00:22:36We're gonna need to rehearse it.
00:22:38What?
00:22:39Well, what we say, when he's found...
00:22:41Look, so we're on breakfast TV here on the sofa here.
00:22:44Oh, okay, okay.
00:22:44Good morning. With me now is James May, that's how they speak,
00:22:47who has just learnt of the sad demise of his co-host and colleague,
00:22:51Mr. Jeremy Clarkson.
00:22:53James, how do you feel that his body was found in a ditch with a bicycle this morning?
00:22:57Was it?
00:22:58Yes.
00:22:58No, that's not right, is it? Sorry, could you do that again?
00:23:00This is Radio K. Good morning. Five past nine. James May is with us,
00:23:04and we only learnt this morning of the sad demise of...
00:23:06Oh, bugger.
00:23:07What?
00:23:09All of that rehearsing, mate. Waste of time.
00:23:12Ugh.
00:23:13Because he's outside right now, fighting with the bicycle lock by a fence.
00:23:18Oh, you look cold!
00:23:19It is cold.
00:23:20Oh, f***ing hell, why won't this work?
00:23:23Paper boys can work one of those, mate.
00:23:25Oh, Steve, I don't care.
00:23:27He's left the key in it.
00:23:28Yes.
00:23:29Muppet.
00:23:30Oh, God.
00:23:32Oh, come on.
00:23:34Hammond!
00:23:36Hammond!
00:23:38Hammond!
00:23:39Hammond!
00:23:43The next morning, the peaceful stillness was shattered by the cry of a distressed animal.
00:23:51Clarkson!
00:23:54Clarkson!
00:23:57Where's my roof?
00:24:02Right?
00:24:05Bastard!
00:24:10What is that?
00:24:12What?
00:24:13Oh, you are joking.
00:24:15No.
00:24:16No.
00:24:17No.
00:24:18No.
00:24:18He hasn't.
00:24:19He's not that sick.
00:24:20Morning.
00:24:20What?
00:24:21Morning.
00:24:22Yeah, whatever.
00:24:23Oh!
00:24:25Why have you driven over your own roof?
00:24:28Clarkson.
00:24:29He's sick.
00:24:34Enjoy your day on your bicycle.
00:24:36You bastard.
00:24:57Enjoy your day on your bicycle.
00:25:00You bastard.
00:25:01What?
00:25:01It's supposed to be looking good.
00:25:02I look like a frostbitten gnome.
00:25:05Rotten trick, that.
00:25:07I wouldn't stand for it.
00:25:09Everything that worries me is he might get some exercise on his bicycle.
00:25:14Do you think he's already just become one of those embittered cyclists who hates anybody who's got a car?
00:25:23Oh, jeez.
00:25:26What?
00:25:27Oh, come on!
00:25:30Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:25:35He did not mend that.
00:25:47Very good.
00:25:48Now, I have to say, the only reason why we met on a beach full of oil rigs,
00:25:56and then drove through a council estate full of hypodermic needles,
00:25:59is to annoy, well, simply and only, to annoy our Scottish producer.
00:26:04Yes, but we will not tell you Gav's name.
00:26:06We promise.
00:26:07No, we won't.
00:26:07We won't say his name.
00:26:08Anyway, look, it all gets a lot sunnier and prettier in part two,
00:26:12when we finally get on the North Coast 500.
00:26:15And we'll pick that up later on.
00:26:17Yes, but now it's time to say hello to the old lady of debate
00:26:22who sits in the bus shelter of chat on Conversation Street.
00:26:38I don't remember that.
00:26:39I don't remember that.
00:26:40Anyway, I want to stick with the film in Scotland, if I may, James May,
00:26:44because at one point you said you put those plastic things
00:26:46on the back wheels of your Lancia.
00:26:48Mm-hm.
00:26:48Because it was like putting insulating tape on the back wheels
00:26:51of a Scalextric car.
00:26:54Yeah.
00:26:54Who's ever done that?
00:26:56Well, I have.
00:26:57Yes.
00:26:57Yes, but you said it like it's one of those things that everybody's done.
00:27:01He did.
00:27:01It's like saying, well, remember when you stole your first pair of tights?
00:27:06That one is like Hammond when you've got Marmite on your testicles.
00:27:09Oh, yeah.
00:27:11Hang on.
00:27:12Scalextric cars have too much grip.
00:27:14No, they don't.
00:27:14That's why they end up under the sofa.
00:27:16They haven't got any grip.
00:27:17Every corner they fly off.
00:27:18They've got too much grip, they oversteer suddenly and violently
00:27:21and you can't control it.
00:27:22If you put the insulating tape on the rear tyres,
00:27:24you reduce the grip and then you can slide them and drift them
00:27:26and you have control of them.
00:27:27Oh, my God.
00:27:27You have actually done that.
00:27:29Of course I've bloody done it.
00:27:31Your childhood.
00:27:32Who here has put insulating tape or any form of tape
00:27:35on the rear wheels of a Scalextric?
00:27:37That's nobody at all.
00:27:39You were.
00:27:40There.
00:27:40How bored must you be to think, I know what I'll do today.
00:27:45Everyone apart from that lady over there has never put insulating.
00:27:50It's your worst explanation ever.
00:27:53No, no, it's not.
00:27:54It's not.
00:27:55His worst explanation ever was when we were doing that water speed record
00:27:58and he explained to you, to clear things up,
00:28:02how the boat controls, which you can operate on our Pondberg,
00:28:06work the same way as aeroplane controls which you can't operate.
00:28:10Exactly.
00:28:11That is the James May way.
00:28:12Explaining something you do understand in a way that you don't understand.
00:28:16Hang on a minute.
00:28:18What?
00:28:18Hold on a minute.
00:28:19You are a man who can't wind a wrist watch up without taking somebody's eye out.
00:28:22Yep.
00:28:22And you claimed in that film that you'd mended the prop shaft on that Alfa Romeo.
00:28:27I did.
00:28:27Did you?
00:28:28Well, I made a phone call.
00:28:29Did you?
00:28:30Same thing.
00:28:31No, I made a phone call and a man unbelievably drove all the way from Wiltshire
00:28:34to Inverness with the spare part that I needed.
00:28:38How generous.
00:28:39And then you mended it.
00:28:40Well, I watched.
00:28:41Yeah.
00:28:42Actually, this is the part that broke.
00:28:44You can see the bit that came out there, yes?
00:28:47Mm-hm.
00:28:48And apparently this is a known fault on a GTV6.
00:28:51Everything is a known fault.
00:28:53A GTV6 is a known fault.
00:28:56Shall we just move this along now?
00:28:58Yes, let's move it along to more actual conversation.
00:29:01Mm-hm.
00:29:02Land Rover has announced that 70% of people suffer from motion sickness
00:29:06and they say that in the future their cars will have a clever system
00:29:10that senses when you're getting car sick
00:29:13and then adjust the cabin temperature and the suspension to cope.
00:29:17And I think that's a pretty good idea.
00:29:18That is quite clever.
00:29:18Yeah, it is.
00:29:19That is quite interesting.
00:29:19Although I have to say I've never had any sort of motion sickness anywhere,
00:29:23but I'm very grateful because I once met a man who did have it.
00:29:27It was on a cross-channel ferry.
00:29:28Very, very rough crossing.
00:29:29Everybody was being sick except me.
00:29:31And I went into the labs and there was this bloke
00:29:33and he was face down on the floor.
00:29:35You know on a boat there's a little lip at the door to stop water getting out.
00:29:38And that was all full of sick.
00:29:41And as the boat rolled this little sort of miniature tsunami
00:29:45sort of came and hit him in the face.
00:29:49And as I walked in he looked up at me and he went,
00:29:52kill me.
00:29:54But the thing that was disturbing is I know he meant it.
00:29:57He did mean it.
00:29:58I've actually, anyone had sea sickness?
00:29:59Cos I have.
00:30:00You do genuinely want someone to kill you when you're seasick.
00:30:04You really do.
00:30:05You really do.
00:30:06The other thing that troubled me about that shit was there must have been,
00:30:08I don't know, five or six hundred people on it.
00:30:10Everybody was hewing everywhere.
00:30:12Horizontal surfaces, vertical surfaces, the ceiling, the food, everything.
00:30:16What did they do with it when it got there?
00:30:18Scuttle it.
00:30:20Sometimes you've got to, you've got no choice.
00:30:22Yeah.
00:30:22Happened to me, our childhood car, Hillman Avenger, my little brother,
00:30:26vomited milk in the back of it.
00:30:28Scrapped it.
00:30:29It's gone.
00:30:31OK, I'll own up for something.
00:30:33Oh, are you sure?
00:30:33I was driving through Corsica a bit late for a plane.
00:30:36I had my son in the back.
00:30:37He was probably, I don't know, nine or ten.
00:30:39Going quite quickly.
00:30:40And it's all mountainous roads, as you know, through Corsica.
00:30:42Very hot day.
00:30:43And he vommed explosively.
00:30:44And the upholstery was that kind of textured velour.
00:30:47When we got to the car rental return place,
00:30:50I was still late for the plane.
00:30:51The guy's coming over to check the car.
00:30:52I said, all right, mate, it's all in one piece.
00:30:54And folded the back seat down.
00:30:56Oh, you did not?
00:30:57Yeah.
00:30:58Oh, you sick man.
00:30:59I don't know.
00:31:00And left it?
00:31:01Yeah, just left it round.
00:31:02So, somewhere there is a kid who's paid two euros a day
00:31:05to clean out returned hire cars.
00:31:07Yeah.
00:31:07And he encountered that horror.
00:31:08Yeah, ruined his life.
00:31:09But the reason we've brought up all this car sickness stuff
00:31:11is the RAC, you know the RAC,
00:31:13always up to speed, the RAC is.
00:31:16It's put out some advice saying that
00:31:19parents can stop their children feeling sick
00:31:21if you can get them to look at the horizon
00:31:23rather than the screens on their mobile phones or tablets.
00:31:27Good luck with that.
00:31:28That is good.
00:31:29God, Jordan, look at the horizon.
00:31:31It's more interesting than Angry Birds.
00:31:33Yes, RAC.
00:31:33Maybe you can persuade them to tidy their bedrooms afterwards as well.
00:31:37Yeah.
00:31:37Anyway, that's sick cupboard.
00:31:38Let's move it along.
00:31:39I'd like to move it on with some more conversation.
00:31:42Police in Dubai are testing a hover bike.
00:31:46But no, it actually is a hover bike.
00:31:47Here it is.
00:31:48Look at that.
00:31:48Look at that!
00:31:50Oh, my God!
00:31:51It costs about £117,000.
00:31:54It can go at 60 miles an hour, fly for about 25 minutes.
00:31:57Look at that!
00:31:58Yes, yes, I can see a couple of things.
00:32:01As a police pursuit vehicle problem,
00:32:03if you drove at 61 miles an hour, you'd get away from it.
00:32:08Actually, you could drive at less than that
00:32:11but for more than 25 minutes and still get away from it.
00:32:14Or, and here's another one you haven't probably considered,
00:32:17if you fell off it, you're falling through your own propulsion device.
00:32:21I don't care because look at it!
00:32:23I want one of those more than I want both of my lungs.
00:32:26It is simply the best thing.
00:32:28James, can you imagine Richard Hammond on one of those?
00:32:33Literally minutes of fun.
00:32:35Yeah, exactly.
00:32:36And then he would just be a mist.
00:32:38He'd just be a veneer all over the nearest building.
00:32:40You'd actually be able to walk through Richard Hammond.
00:32:43He'd be a puddle.
00:32:43It was a puddle of Richard Hammond.
00:32:47All right.
00:32:49Shit idea.
00:32:50Right.
00:32:52A lot of people have got it into their heads
00:32:55that I don't like electric cars.
00:32:57Well, with good reason,
00:32:58because every time you've got an electric car
00:33:00you come back into the office on Monday morning
00:33:02with another dreary tale of woe.
00:33:04That's because you can't charge them up.
00:33:05Here we go.
00:33:06You can't!
00:33:07Last weekend had a Jaguar I-Pace.
00:33:09OK, now this is a really good car.
00:33:11This is why I have nothing against electric cars.
00:33:13That's the new Jag.
00:33:14And it is fabulous.
00:33:16Lovely to sit in.
00:33:17Quick as hell.
00:33:18Better than a Tesla.
00:33:19By a long way, actually, in many, many ways.
00:33:22Brilliant.
00:33:22However, brought it up here,
00:33:24plugged it into my farm,
00:33:26and boom!
00:33:27Instant darkness.
00:33:29This is a farm that can supply all of Western Europe
00:33:33with vegetable oil for a thousand years,
00:33:35plug one Jag into it,
00:33:37and I'm in the 13th century.
00:33:38No electricity at all.
00:33:40I then took it to a friend's house,
00:33:41plugged it in there,
00:33:42where he's got more modern electricity,
00:33:44left it overnight,
00:33:45and it had only hoovered up enough electricity overnight
00:33:48to cover 29 miles.
00:33:50That's because you're plugging it
00:33:52into a 14th century domestic socket.
00:33:54You're supposed to use a proper modern fast charger.
00:33:57Well, how long would that take?
00:33:5845 minutes.
00:33:58I haven't got 45 minutes.
00:34:00I've only got 130,000 hours left, James,
00:34:02before I die.
00:34:04I'm not going to spend any of it.
00:34:06What?
00:34:07Wait a minute.
00:34:07This is a new thing of yours that started.
00:34:10I've only got 130,000 hours.
00:34:11It's dropping.
00:34:12Dropping now.
00:34:13Where does...
00:34:14It's a lovely thought.
00:34:20Get on with it.
00:34:21I'm losing valuable time.
00:34:24I do want to know, though,
00:34:25where did that number come from?
00:34:26Have you got your phone on you?
00:34:27Yes.
00:34:28Because he always forgets to leave it behind.
00:34:30OK.
00:34:31How long do you think...
00:34:31Don't have to tell anyone.
00:34:32How many years do you think you've got left?
00:34:34Years I've got left.
00:34:35Years, then times that by 365.
00:34:37Oh, I see.
00:34:38Times it by 24.
00:34:39Yeah.
00:34:39How many hours have you got left?
00:34:41394,200.
00:34:43Right.
00:34:43Well, how much of that do you want to do that?
00:34:45I don't want to waste,
00:34:46charging a car,
00:34:47sitting around while a car charges up.
00:34:49Or I went on the BBC iPlayer the other day,
00:34:51and it said,
00:34:51you've now got to register to use this.
00:34:53No, I haven't.
00:34:54I haven't got time to do that.
00:34:56I'll be dead by the time I finish.
00:34:58I've got...
00:34:58I've got 14,200.
00:35:03James!
00:35:04Hours?
00:35:04Yeah.
00:35:05That's a week on Tuesday.
00:35:08Mate,
00:35:09the whole point of this exercise
00:35:12is you think of the bloody number.
00:35:14Oh, it's the rest of my life.
00:35:16I better not think of a big flamboyant number.
00:35:18I'll be modest.
00:35:19Well, I'm going to be pleasantly surprised, hopefully.
00:35:21Next week.
00:35:22I think we can probably end Conversation Street there
00:35:24on James May's sad demise any minute now.
00:35:29I want to talk about the BMW M5,
00:35:32which has always been, as I'm sure we all know in here,
00:35:35the ultimate Q car.
00:35:36It is a fizzing lunatic in a Geoffrey Chaucer suit.
00:35:40However, the new M5 has turbocharging,
00:35:43so it's kind to polar bears,
00:35:45and it has four-wheel drive,
00:35:47so it's safe, and it has an automatic gearbox,
00:35:49and that's all very nice.
00:35:51But is it what we want?
00:35:55Let me, first of all, explain the basic recipe
00:35:58for a BMW M5.
00:36:02It's a four-door saloon with a boot at the back,
00:36:06space for five businessmen in the middle,
00:36:08and a monstrously powerful engine at the front.
00:36:16That's the main thing about an M5.
00:36:19It must be extremely fast.
00:36:27And this one, they say,
00:36:30is the fastest ever.
00:36:36So I've just pulled up alongside someone
00:36:39in his lightweight running gear
00:36:41and his AMG training shoes,
00:36:43whereas I am in a stout pair of brogues
00:36:46and some heavy moleskin trousers.
00:36:50Which means I'm going to lose.
00:36:53Or am I?
00:37:04Oh, that hurts.
00:37:07That was long to 60 in three seconds.
00:37:11I can't go back forwards.
00:37:14That's 100 miles an hour in about seven seconds.
00:37:19Or 20.
00:37:21Or 30 miles an hour as I cross the line.
00:37:28It is unbelievable, that.
00:37:31The cheap, heavy, four-door saloon
00:37:35just beat the sports car.
00:37:39That's an M5's job.
00:37:45On the face of it, then,
00:37:47the new version seems to tick
00:37:49all the important M5 boxes.
00:37:52It's sensible,
00:37:53and thanks to 592 horsepower,
00:37:56it is Ferrari fast.
00:37:59But what about the turbochargers
00:38:01and the automatic gearbox?
00:38:02And what about the all-wheel drive system?
00:38:05Does all that mean it's no longer capable
00:38:08of being a swivel-eyed lunatic?
00:38:12No.
00:38:13Not really.
00:38:24Yes.
00:38:26Because a great deal of work has been done
00:38:29to completely eliminate understeer,
00:38:32as you can see,
00:38:34the steering does feel a bit weird.
00:38:41And yes, because the engine is turbocharged,
00:38:44the soundtrack is a bit muted.
00:38:49It's like listening to someone play the bass
00:38:53in the next room.
00:38:55But other than that...
00:38:57Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
00:39:01I mean, there must be turbo lag.
00:39:04There has to be.
00:39:05But I can't feel it.
00:39:08And the automatic gearbox must change more slowly
00:39:12than it would if it were a double-clutch system.
00:39:16But...
00:39:18Still feels pretty speedy to me.
00:39:23And even though all four-wheels are driven,
00:39:27it can still do this.
00:39:40If you want it to do this all the time,
00:39:44you can actually turn off the four-wheel drive system.
00:39:48Seriously, you can turn it off.
00:39:50Just have it in rear drive only.
00:39:53Behave like a complete yobbo.
00:39:58Yeah!
00:40:02And that's just the start of the M5's adaptability.
00:40:07You can choose how much traction control you'd like.
00:40:11You can choose how sporty and responsive you want the engine to be,
00:40:15how uncomfortable you'd like the ride to be,
00:40:18how meaty you'd like the steering to be,
00:40:20how quickly you want it to change gear,
00:40:23and what you want on the head-up display.
00:40:25You can even choose what sort of noise you want the exhaust to make.
00:40:30Oh, and look at this one.
00:40:31This menu allows me to choose what fragrance comes out of the air-conditioning vents.
00:40:36I can have the blue sweet, which is a waft of pure water pearls.
00:40:42Or I can have this one, which gives me a golden shower of fiery aromas.
00:40:48And this is all very Pacific Rim.
00:40:50It's very CGI.
00:40:51And that's great.
00:40:56But the truth of the matter is that the 50-something businessman who'll buy this car
00:41:01will never change the fragrance setting or any of the other stuff.
00:41:07He'll put it in four-wheel-drive comfort mode on day one
00:41:11and leave it there forever.
00:41:14And if he's going to do that, there may be a better alternative.
00:41:22It's made by a German tuning company called Alpina.
00:41:26And it's another take on what a fast BMW should be like.
00:41:31It costs about the same as an M5
00:41:33and has a broadly similar 4.4-litre twin-turbocharged V8.
00:41:39It also has four-wheel-drive and an automatic gearbox.
00:41:45However, this car was not developed at a racetrack.
00:41:50The boss of Alpina says if you engineer a car to be good at the Nürburgring,
00:41:54it won't be any good on the road.
00:41:57And he may have a point on that.
00:42:02So, instead of making the front suspension firm and racy,
00:42:06they tuned it to be able to deal with potholes.
00:42:11Then they changed the steering so it would corner more like an airliner
00:42:16and less like an F-16.
00:42:19Inside, they gave it blue dials and a thinner steering wheel and softer leather.
00:42:24And look at this.
00:42:26Something you don't get in the standard M5.
00:42:30It's a comfort plus setting in which the 50-something businessman can spend his life
00:42:38lofting about.
00:42:40But don't think that the basic fast BMW recipe has been ruined.
00:42:47Because it really hasn't.
00:42:51It actually produces 600 horsepower.
00:42:55That's more than you get from the M5.
00:42:57It has more torque, too.
00:43:00And there's no nanny limiter.
00:43:02So, this will do 205 miles an hour.
00:43:10Does this mean, then, that on a track, the comfort wagon can keep up with the ultimate sports saloon?
00:43:29Well, even though it was fun finding out...
00:43:38The answer is no. Not quite.
00:43:41The M5 is tauter. More nailed down. More on it, somehow.
00:43:48So, on a track, make no mistake, the M5 will pull away.
00:43:53In fact, it is doing.
00:43:58We're both cats, it's just that he's a cheater and I'm a lion.
00:44:07If, then, you care about shaving tenths of a second off your lap time at a racetrack,
00:44:14you're better off with an M5.
00:44:19But, for going home on the M4 in the real world, which is what I'm about to do,
00:44:25I'd rather use the LP, though.
00:44:30So I shall.
00:44:44So, after all of that, you would have the worst car?
00:44:48Well, yes, because it's better. It sounds better to me, I've got to say.
00:44:51Oh, well, says the voice of speed.
00:44:52Well, I tell you what, let's find out how fast the M5 goes round the Ebola-drome.
00:45:00And it's off.
00:45:01She held it against the brakes there for a snappy start, and clearly it's worked.
00:45:07Flying onto the isn't straight there.
00:45:09Wouldn't look, it's a bit damp.
00:45:11Right, having to work at the fat steering wheel.
00:45:15Woomph! From the four exhausts on the up change.
00:45:18And now plunging into your name here, looking a little edgy.
00:45:22And then this is nearly a two-ton car.
00:45:26Heaves forward under braking, but keeping it all in check in the corner.
00:45:31And now back on the power.
00:45:35Spooling up both turbos for the fast return run.
00:45:40Looking good.
00:45:41Dabbing off a bit of speed at the midpoint.
00:45:44And ready.
00:45:45Yup, really hard on the brakes for old lady's house.
00:45:49This is where understeer will show itself.
00:45:52But no, looking tidy. Not bad for such a heifer.
00:45:57Taking no prisoners on the blast to substation.
00:46:01Torturing the Pirellis through there. Just field of sheep to go.
00:46:06Tidy through there and across the line.
00:46:09Thank you very much.
00:46:09Thank you very much.
00:46:11It's very quick.
00:46:12It looks like it's heavy.
00:46:15It looks heavy.
00:46:17Anyway, there's the lapboard.
00:46:19And we can see the old M5 look down there.
00:46:2217th place.
00:46:23one minute 24.2 uh so let's see where the new one goes is it quicker it is oh my
00:46:31word four seconds
00:46:32faster that's staggering isn't it that is absolutely amazing now and i have to say
00:46:38um we did um we did time the alpina but we haven't uh we haven't filmed it why not well
00:46:45it's going to be slower it is you are going to look such an ass if it is i am
00:46:52but it won't be
00:46:54let's find out let's see where it goes this is the alpina there you go you see slower as i
00:47:00said
00:47:00but 121.6 not bad so if you do want a taut fast super saloon his advice is get the
00:47:08flabbier slower
00:47:09one it's really some clear buying advice again this week it is anyway let's get on to some actual
00:47:14clear buying advice uh shall we let's get back to our film in scotland tonight we are doing a tour
00:47:21of the north coast 500 around the top of scotland in some beautiful italian classic cars and a fiat x19
00:47:29yes but you two had both had mechanical issues yes yeah we did but we still had hope in our
00:47:33hearts
00:47:34that things would get better
00:47:45as we cruised along our italian classics and the fiat continue to provide unexpected entertainment
00:47:54i'm going to show you a fantastic feature on this car here are the heating and ventilation controls
00:47:58i've got it on warm because it's a cold day but look what happens when i press the air conditioning
00:48:03button
00:48:04it's haunted did you see that look hmm i think i'll cool myself down
00:48:17my head itches because of this hat but if i take it off i'll freeze to death
00:48:23soon hammond insisted we stop for a cup of tea to ward off his hypothermia
00:48:30i've had a thought that's very uncharacteristic i was going to say no this is based on experience
00:48:36and knowledge right problem with the nc500 for your way around here we miss this bit we're here right
00:48:43and we miss this road which i have driven and it is breathtaking not just the scenery which is
00:48:48incredible but the actual road itself i'm sorry but if we just go along here yeah we're not exactly
00:48:54doing the nc500 are we no but what if we create our own route and claim it for the grand
00:49:02tour we
00:49:03could call that the scottish highlands intermediate tour how far is it uh it's about 287 miles i think
00:49:11scottish highlands intermediate tour 287 287 it would be this no hang on that doesn't work does it
00:49:17piloting extremely nicely in scotland 287 yeah so the piloting extremely nicely in scotland 287 that would
00:49:26do you see that's your second thought of the day it's because of the hat with the new route sorted
00:49:34out
00:49:34we set off and it turned out that it wasn't quite like hammond had said it was much much better
00:49:50hail
00:49:55the view it's amazing look at it
00:50:03I mean, it's good, this is heaven
00:50:08And not just the scenery, which is magnificent
00:50:11The road itself, the twists, turns, surface
00:50:16You have to get the right ingredients together
00:50:18In the right order, in the right place
00:50:20It's a complicated thing
00:50:22A really fabulous road
00:50:23But this manages it
00:50:28Absolutely glorious
00:50:40Oh, the Venus 287 is really coming up drums here
00:50:56God, I bet my car looks elegant going through this scenery
00:51:10This is what the GTV6 was built to do
00:51:14Open sweeping roads
00:51:20Nothing but the sound of that V6 howling away
00:51:36This is what driving is all about
00:51:39This is the dream
00:51:43In fact, the moment was so magical
00:51:46It had taken my mind off something that had been troubling me all day
00:51:52Today is the 11th of April
00:51:54And I don't want to sound like eel
00:51:56But it's my birthday
00:51:58And those two haven't remembered
00:52:05All of the crew have said happy birthday
00:52:08The director said happy birthday
00:52:10James and Richard, nothing
00:52:17Ollapool, 26 miles
00:52:19Ollapool
00:52:21I might be able to get the prop shaft balanced there
00:52:24That's quite a big town
00:52:28Guys, how far are we from the hotel now?
00:52:30Do you know?
00:52:31About 30 miles
00:52:3235
00:52:33Well, as it's not late
00:52:35I'm going to dive into Ollapool
00:52:36And see if I can get my prop shaft balanced
00:52:38You're going to what?
00:52:40It's vibrating and it will hurt the car
00:52:42So I want to just get it balanced up
00:52:44And I'll see you at the hotel later on
00:52:47That is uncharacteristically conscientious of Jeremy
00:52:50To want to go and mend his car
00:52:52But it's actually very convenient for me and Hammond
00:52:54We've got something in mind
00:52:57The thing is, we hadn't forgotten it was his birthday
00:53:00And with him gone, we could shoot ahead
00:53:04And set up his surprise party
00:53:08Balloons coming in
00:53:09Oh, this is nice
00:53:12All right
00:53:14Loosen it off
00:53:15And that will allow the prop shaft to settle where it wants to settle
00:53:19While the short-sighted orangutan ruined his car
00:53:24I was busy in the kitchen
00:53:27For Jeremy's birthday feast
00:53:30I am preparing his favourite dish
00:53:32Spaghetti bolognese
00:53:33But as it's his birthday and as we are here
00:53:37I'm going to give it a Scottish twist
00:53:50Pasta and sauce are ready
00:53:52He'd love that
00:53:53But now is where I give it a Scottish twist
00:53:56Pop it in
00:53:58Back for that in a minute
00:54:01Now this should be ready
00:54:03Oh yeah
00:54:06But this is where it gets Scottish
00:54:08Very carefully
00:54:09You pop it in the flour
00:54:11Like this
00:54:13Sprinkle it
00:54:15Keeping it together as best as you can
00:54:16The grilling has helped
00:54:17And now into this
00:54:20Good coating
00:54:21All over
00:54:25Drop that
00:54:26As carefully as I can in there
00:54:28Pop it in the oil
00:54:31Oh yeah
00:54:32Yes I am doing that
00:54:38I'd say
00:54:40That
00:54:40Is ready
00:54:44Oh yeah
00:54:45That will do nicely
00:54:47And there it is
00:54:50Spaghetti
00:54:50McBolognese
00:54:51Whilst Richard was battering and deep frying everything in sight
00:54:56In you go my wee beauties
00:55:00I was organising the guests
00:55:02Who are now all here
00:55:03And waiting for the birthday boy
00:55:08Oh hello
00:55:10Here it is
00:55:11Here it is
00:55:13Oh
00:55:16Countach
00:55:16Marcy at 8.32
00:55:19There's obviously some kind of
00:55:22Classic car meeting going on
00:55:24Oh wait a minute
00:55:29I can't believe it
00:55:31I cannot believe it
00:55:32You remembered
00:55:34Of course we remembered
00:55:36Actually it's better than that
00:55:37We're having a party for you
00:55:38No but James
00:55:45There's a classic car meet going on
00:55:48No they're your guests
00:55:51For your birthday party
00:55:523.2 as well
00:55:54Oh
00:55:55You have invited
00:55:56Classic car enthusiasts
00:55:58To my birthday party
00:55:59Italian classic car enthusiasts
00:56:02We'll talk about differentials
00:56:03Yes
00:56:04Production numbers
00:56:05And chassis numbers
00:56:06Yes exactly
00:56:07I've got to go and sort out the music
00:56:08So I'll see you in a bit
00:56:09Music?
00:56:10Yeah
00:56:11It's a party
00:56:15Finishing touch
00:56:16Garnish
00:56:18Because
00:56:19We eat
00:56:20With our eyes
00:56:25As it turned out
00:56:27The classic car enthusiasts
00:56:28Were lovely people
00:56:29With some even
00:56:31Lovelier cars
00:56:32Look at that
00:56:34Do you know I've never driven
00:56:36An 8.32
00:56:39However talking to them
00:56:40Proved to be quite tricky
00:56:42They got on their way to America
00:56:43And then got here
00:56:43And just thought
00:56:44This will
00:56:46Boom
00:56:56Still it could be worse
00:56:57And then it was
00:56:59Because it was time to sit down
00:57:01For Richard's Scottish dinner
00:57:04Battered spag bowl
00:57:05Followed by
00:57:07A deep fried cake
00:57:16And then to round off the evening
00:57:20Oh no
00:57:21James made an interesting speech
00:57:23About all the cars I'd owned
00:57:26Is it not?
00:57:28But quite soon Jeremy moved on
00:57:30From the VW Scirocco GLI Mark 1
00:57:33To a VW Scirocco GTI Mark 2
00:57:37The registration number of which was
00:57:38I've never known whether you had
00:57:39The manual gearbox
00:57:40Or the first generation
00:57:42F1 semi-automatic shift
00:57:44Which was
00:57:44Very keen for you to know
00:57:45That it wasn't a CSI
00:57:47It was a CSL
00:57:48The difference being
00:57:49Chromed wheel arch extensions
00:57:51And different wheels was it
00:57:53Or something like that
00:57:53Oh stripes
00:57:54I played the wheels
00:57:55And it had aluminium doors
00:57:56Yes of course
00:57:57It had the lightweight
00:57:58Bullet and bootless
00:57:59Yes
00:57:59But this time
00:58:01The V8 engine
00:58:02In dark blue
00:58:04Or was it black
00:58:05Does anybody want to guess?
00:58:10Traditionist at heart
00:58:12As he is today
00:58:12Drives a VW Golf
00:58:15GTI
00:58:16In grey
00:58:18You missed the CLK black
00:58:19The what?
00:58:20You missed the CLK black
00:58:23No it's not on this list
00:58:24Which researcher put together
00:58:26This list of Jeremy's cards
00:58:27Through the ages?
00:58:28You didn't even write the speech
00:58:29Of course I didn't
00:58:30This is the worst birthday party
00:58:33I've ever had
00:58:33Come on we made an effort
00:58:35Anyway shall I get the bagpipes?
00:58:39The next morning
00:58:40We were up and on the road
00:58:42Bright and early
00:58:44This is the first April the 12th
00:58:46Since 1972
00:58:48That I haven't had a hangover
00:58:50Thanks to the world's worst party organisers
00:58:53Messers
00:58:54May and Hammond
00:59:01Oh no
00:59:02The vibration is back
00:59:09Why can't I do anything?
00:59:15But despite my problems
00:59:17The sun was shining
00:59:19And Scotland
00:59:20Was more spectacular than ever
00:59:42Halland has redeemed himself
00:59:44With this route
00:59:45He really has
00:59:48Hammond
00:59:48Hello yes
00:59:50There's no getting around the fact
00:59:52That your penis
00:59:53Is exactly the right length
00:59:55And beautiful
00:59:57Well thank you
00:59:59Would you agree James May?
01:00:02I would yes
01:00:02I hate to have to admit it
01:00:03But it's spot on
01:00:07There were no more
01:00:09There were now only 50 miles to go
01:00:10To the finish point
01:00:11On our loop
01:00:12So it felt like a good time
01:00:14To sum up our wonderful cars
01:00:16And Richard's Fiat
01:00:20Some cars achieve classic status
01:00:22Because they're rare
01:00:24They're thoroughbreds like those two
01:00:26And with that you have to accept
01:00:27They'll be delicate
01:00:28Temperamental
01:00:29Some cars achieve classic status
01:00:32Simply because
01:00:33They're really good
01:00:35The X19 was good when it was designed and built first
01:00:38And still is today
01:00:40Add to that
01:00:41That it cost me
01:00:42Just over £2,000
01:00:46Annoyingly
01:00:46I've had a bit of a problem
01:00:47With my headlight
01:00:49But then it's developed a squint
01:00:51So
01:00:52Oh
01:00:54I think it looks quite rakish
01:00:57Somehow piratical
01:00:59Like that
01:01:03Rare
01:01:04Interesting
01:01:04Beautiful
01:01:05Those are the criteria
01:01:07By which I think you should judge
01:01:08Whether or not a car is a true classic
01:01:10It has to be at least two of those things
01:01:13To qualify
01:01:14So let's have a look at Melancia
01:01:15Well
01:01:17It's definitely beautiful
01:01:19It's a truly superb bit of car styling
01:01:21And
01:01:23It's rare
01:01:28I had a bit of a route about online last night
01:01:31And there are only two
01:01:32Of these Gamma Coupes
01:01:34Registered and on the road in Britain
01:01:36And this is one of them
01:01:38This is 50% of the whole thing
01:01:46When we finish these jobs normally
01:01:48The cars we've used go
01:01:51I don't know what to do
01:01:52Where they go
01:01:54But I know where this one's going
01:01:56Mummy house
01:02:00Because this car
01:02:02Is just heaven
01:02:06Absolute heaven
01:02:09Look at it
01:02:10And tell me
01:02:11You can think
01:02:12Of another car
01:02:14Anywhere on earth
01:02:15For 10 grand
01:02:17That you'd like more than this
01:02:25Only 11 miles to go now
01:02:27Will James May's engine explode?
01:02:31Apparently sunshine does cause that
01:02:33James May
01:02:34Do you think it will explode
01:02:36Before we get to Inverness
01:02:38Or just afterwards?
01:02:39Sooner or later
01:02:40You will have to put your peevishness aside
01:02:43And admit that I made the right choice
01:02:45Oh no you didn't
01:02:46Anyway
01:02:47Wouldn't normally say this
01:02:48But I want to say
01:02:49I'm very proud of you
01:02:50For mending your prop shuttle
01:02:52Well done mate
01:02:53Thanks
01:02:54Yes
01:02:54Is the car much better
01:02:56Now the vibration's gone
01:03:00Yes
01:03:02Good
01:03:04He's bluffing
01:03:11Bidding a fond farewell
01:03:13To Hammond's magnificent penis
01:03:15We got back to the town
01:03:17Where we'd started
01:03:17Inverness
01:03:21Mission accomplished
01:03:29Well there we are
01:03:30In just three days
01:03:32We have covered
01:03:33A staggering
01:03:36287 miles
01:03:37Oh well
01:03:37Yours was on an AA truck
01:03:39For a bit of it
01:03:40Yeah a little bit
01:03:40Yeah
01:03:41But apart from one
01:03:43Catastrophic failure
01:03:44That required somebody
01:03:46To drive from Swindon
01:03:47In Wiltshire
01:03:48All the way
01:03:48To Inverness
01:03:49With a spare part
01:03:50Don't forget that
01:03:51My windscreen might have
01:03:52Fell off as well
01:03:53Yeah and one of my
01:03:53Headlamps is stuck
01:03:54Yeah but apart from
01:03:55Those things
01:03:56We have proved
01:03:57That it is still possible
01:03:59To buy and enjoy
01:04:01A classic car
01:04:03Even if you're quite poor
01:04:05Yeah we should be proud of that
01:04:06Yeah we should
01:04:07Yeah
01:04:08And with that
01:04:09Back to the studio
01:04:09Tent
01:04:10Tent
01:04:11Tent
01:04:23It's funny isn't it
01:04:24It's funny over the years
01:04:26We have travelled the whole world
01:04:27Looking for the best driving roads
01:04:29Yeah
01:04:29And it turns out
01:04:30It was just next door
01:04:31All along
01:04:32I have to say
01:04:33I don't want to say this
01:04:34In front of our Scottish producer
01:04:36Do not name Gavin Whitehead
01:04:38No I
01:04:39I can't
01:04:40But
01:04:40That was just about
01:04:42The best drive I've ever had
01:04:44That road
01:04:45That scenery
01:04:46That alpha
01:04:47That party
01:04:48No not the party
01:04:49Everything else
01:04:50Was
01:04:51Well it was perfection
01:04:52I do agree with you
01:04:54I thought it was spectacular
01:04:54But we should get back
01:04:55To the point of this film
01:04:56Which is that
01:04:57You can buy
01:04:58An affordable classic car
01:05:00That is also
01:05:02An investment
01:05:03Are you sure you want to raise
01:05:04This particular point James
01:05:05Why don't you tell the ladies and gentlemen
01:05:07How it worked out
01:05:08With your Lancia
01:05:09Well okay
01:05:09I spent £13,500 on the car
01:05:12And when I got it home
01:05:13I discovered that the price
01:05:14Of putting it right
01:05:15Was only £6,000
01:05:17So your investment
01:05:18Has gone down by 45%
01:05:20Correct
01:05:21Now my alpha
01:05:22As I said in the film
01:05:23I have brought it home with me
01:05:24And since we made that
01:05:27Which was April
01:05:28So six months
01:05:29Nine months ago
01:05:31It's only cost £8,000
01:05:33Right
01:05:34So your investment
01:05:36Has gone down by 80%
01:05:37Yes
01:05:37What about you?
01:05:38100%
01:05:40What?
01:05:41Yeah
01:05:41Day after we finished filming
01:05:43The engine blew
01:05:43Car in the bin
01:05:44All gone
01:05:46So to conclude then
01:05:48All of us have lost
01:05:50Some money
01:05:50And one of us
01:05:51Has lost all of it
01:05:52Yes exactly
01:05:52And on that
01:05:54Terrible disappointment
01:05:54It is time to end
01:05:56I'm going home now
01:05:57In my alpha
01:05:58No you're not
01:06:00We live over there
01:06:01Yeah we know
01:06:02Exactly
01:06:03Too far
01:06:03Whatever
01:06:04Thanks for watching
01:06:05Take care
01:06:06See you next time
01:06:06Bye
01:06:07Bye
01:06:08Bye
Comments