#TheGrandTour #OneForTheRoad #ClarksonHammondMay #FinalLap #ZimbabweSpecial
After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.
#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory
After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.
#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory
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MotorTranscript
00:00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:38CastingWords
00:01:14Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
00:01:18Welcome, and in this show, apart from James' weird jacket and T-shirt combinations...
00:01:24No, it isn't. We have many other things besides.
00:01:28James May changes gear. Richard Hammond changes gear.
00:01:37And I...
00:01:44change gear.
00:01:50It's all very exciting.
00:01:54Well, it started in the 1950s when James May was an old man.
00:01:58Now, back then, Jaguar won Le Mans three times with the D-Type.
00:02:03And after they retired that from racing, they decided to build 25 road-going versions of it,
00:02:08which they called the XKSS. Got a photograph of one here.
00:02:12Now, this was aimed at wealthy young gentlemen who wanted to spend the week dashing around town
00:02:18and then the weekend doing motor racing.
00:02:21Steve McQueen had one, and I think that says it all.
00:02:26Unfortunately, in 1957, there was a huge fire at the factory,
00:02:30and nine of those 25 cars were never made.
00:02:34Until now.
00:02:51Let me make one big plane right from the start.
00:02:54This is not a replica XKSS built from plastic.
00:02:59This is an XKSS.
00:03:07Built by Jaguar themselves.
00:03:10Over 10,000 painstaking hours.
00:03:13It's the real deal.
00:03:16In fact, it's as real as the real ones from way back when.
00:03:31The chassis is made from a special steel called Reynolds 531.
00:03:35It's what they originally used to build the World War II Spitfire,
00:03:38and it's light.
00:03:39It only weighs 39 kilograms.
00:03:41And then there's the body.
00:03:43The tooling and the technical drawings were all destroyed in the fire,
00:03:46so they had to scan an original from 1957
00:03:49and then work backwards from that to make it.
00:03:52In incredible detail, right down to the rivets.
00:03:55Every one.
00:03:56The number and the position is as it was.
00:03:59And there's over 2,000 of them.
00:04:01But it was the engine that was the trickiest bit.
00:04:05The plans for that weren't destroyed in the fire,
00:04:08but I've got a copy of them here.
00:04:10But there was a page missing.
00:04:12So they had to get an original engine
00:04:15and saw it in half to find out how it worked.
00:04:20No one has ever made a car like this before.
00:04:24It's a world first.
00:04:26So it's small wonder.
00:04:28It's priced at just over 1 million pounds.
00:04:35Or, for half a million pounds more,
00:04:38you could have one of these.
00:04:45It's an Aston Martin DV4 GT Lightweight.
00:04:49And back in the late 50s,
00:04:52it was the fastest car in the world.
00:04:56Flat out, it would do 151 miles an hour.
00:05:07But this is not from the late 50s.
00:05:11Despite what you might think
00:05:13when you look at its period dashboard
00:05:15and its period six-cylinder twin-spark engine,
00:05:19it was actually built a few weeks ago.
00:05:24So, like Hammond's Jag,
00:05:26it's an old car that's brand spanking new.
00:05:31So, did these two ever race against each other in period?
00:05:35No, they did. They did.
00:05:36May 1960, I was a month old.
00:05:39I was 10 years off being born, mate.
00:05:41Yeah, whatever.
00:05:42Picture of it. Here, look.
00:05:44Oh, look, there they are.
00:05:45Well, it's actually a D-type.
00:05:46Yeah, but that's a race version.
00:05:47Yeah, exactly.
00:05:48DB4 GT Lightweight.
00:05:49I mean, that was proper racing in those days.
00:05:52No stewards' inquiries every time there was a bump.
00:05:54They'd just finish the race,
00:05:56have a drink,
00:05:56and then some sex.
00:05:58We should give it a bash.
00:06:00Ah, sex?
00:06:03No.
00:06:04No.
00:06:06Happily, we were in the French town of Poe,
00:06:09and it was here in 1901.
00:06:12The first ever Grand Prix was staged.
00:06:18They were closing roads for racers here
00:06:21long before they thought of doing the same thing in Monaco
00:06:23or Detroit.
00:06:28And today,
00:06:30they were closed once more
00:06:33for us.
00:06:47Oh, look at this.
00:06:50Closed roads through the centre of Poe.
00:06:53Oh!
00:06:55Oh, my God.
00:06:57This is like being in history.
00:07:02This may have
00:07:03the same Italian styling
00:07:05as the original,
00:07:07but unlike Hammond's Jag,
00:07:09it is not a faithful replica.
00:07:12It has, for example,
00:07:14a bigger engine than the original,
00:07:17which means 44 brake horsepower.
00:07:19This thing,
00:07:20this thing is quick.
00:07:23Oh, really quick.
00:07:25Oh, my God.
00:07:31Some things are the same, though.
00:07:33Windows don't wind down.
00:07:34There's no fan or air conditioning
00:07:36of any kind,
00:07:37and it's got a racing gearbox.
00:07:40That means no synchrones.
00:07:44Which means that when you want to slow down,
00:07:47you have to heel and toe.
00:07:49Like that.
00:07:51Yes!
00:07:53That was a skill I never thought
00:07:54I'd be able to use again.
00:07:56It's like changing a typewriter ribbon.
00:08:02Oh, that was...
00:08:03That was me not matching the revs up.
00:08:07And that was it.
00:08:08God's forgiving me.
00:08:11The really good news, though,
00:08:14is the...
00:08:15Is the brakes.
00:08:18They're made using modern materials,
00:08:20unlike in Hammond's Jag.
00:08:24Yep, in here it's just me
00:08:26and my big, hairy balls.
00:08:29And they need to be big.
00:08:31I can only brake
00:08:32when I'm accelerating.
00:08:34Seriously.
00:08:35The power for the brakes
00:08:37comes off the gearbox,
00:08:38so with the clutch in,
00:08:39there isn't any.
00:08:40Who thought that was a good idea?
00:08:44Right, time to unleash the 3.4-litre straight six.
00:08:51That's 262 brake horsepower
00:08:53bouncing off the walls.
00:09:00In the 50s,
00:09:02Ferraris were hitting 160
00:09:04on the Molesant straight.
00:09:06Jaguar D-types
00:09:08were hitting 172.
00:09:10And remember,
00:09:11this is essentially
00:09:12a D-type.
00:09:29Just feel the lack of grip.
00:09:32Of course,
00:09:34back in the 50s,
00:09:35cars didn't grip
00:09:36because they had
00:09:37cross-blight tyres.
00:09:39Back then,
00:09:40it was all about
00:09:41how a car handled,
00:09:42and this thing handles
00:09:43absolutely beautifully.
00:09:48Come on, Hammond,
00:09:49get out of my way!
00:09:53Ha ha ha ha!
00:09:56This really is
00:09:57a special moment.
00:09:59Just to see these two cars
00:10:01racing around here
00:10:02is incredible.
00:10:04To be in one of them
00:10:05is unreal.
00:10:11This is one of the best mornings
00:10:13I've ever had
00:10:14behind the wheel of a car,
00:10:16ever.
00:10:17It is just brilliant!
00:10:23Eventually, though,
00:10:24the people of Poe
00:10:25wanted their town back.
00:10:26So Hammond and I
00:10:27called time on the fun
00:10:29and games
00:10:29and sat down
00:10:30for a natter
00:10:31about our amazing cars.
00:10:35Now, we should explain
00:10:36why Aston Martin
00:10:38and Jaguar
00:10:39have suddenly decided
00:10:40to start making cars
00:10:42from their back catalogue.
00:10:43And really, it's...
00:10:44Well, it's second-hand values,
00:10:45isn't it?
00:10:45Basically, yeah.
00:10:46The last genuine
00:10:47original XKSS
00:10:48to sell
00:10:49went for over
00:10:50£12 million.
00:10:51Was it really £12 million?
00:10:52£12 million.
00:10:53So anyone who buys that
00:10:54for £1 million
00:10:55is getting the bargain
00:10:56of the century.
00:10:57Yep.
00:10:58And Jaguar's making
00:10:59more profit on that
00:11:00than it would from selling...
00:11:02£100 XEs.
00:11:03Exactly.
00:11:03I wouldn't be at all surprised
00:11:05if other carmakers
00:11:06don't start doing this.
00:11:07Ferrari, Maserati,
00:11:09Lamborghini.
00:11:10If Lancia
00:11:12remade the Fulvia now...
00:11:14Yeah, I'd love one.
00:11:15Well, I'd rather have that
00:11:16than one of those.
00:11:19Is that the new
00:11:20Honda Civic Type R?
00:11:21The new, new one,
00:11:22and it is hideous.
00:11:23It is, honestly.
00:11:24It's worse than the last one.
00:11:25It's awful.
00:11:26I mean, the original
00:11:2790s Civic Type R
00:11:28was brilliant,
00:11:28but that is disgusting.
00:11:30It's revolting,
00:11:31is what it is.
00:11:32Mind you,
00:11:33it's not as revolting...
00:11:36as what's just got out of it.
00:11:38Oh, God.
00:11:39Why are you here?
00:11:41I'm here because
00:11:42I heard that you two
00:11:44were talking complete rubbish.
00:11:46You don't buy
00:11:47an old black-and-white television set.
00:11:49You don't buy a Bakelite telephone.
00:11:51Why would you buy an old car?
00:11:52Because they're stylish.
00:11:54New stuff is better than old stuff.
00:11:56I've explained this to you before.
00:11:57The world now
00:11:58is better than it was
00:12:00just one minute ago.
00:12:01No, it isn't
00:12:02because a minute ago
00:12:03you weren't here.
00:12:04Yeah, that's true
00:12:05and neither was that thing
00:12:06and I do hate it.
00:12:07It is.
00:12:08That's one of the most
00:12:09revolting cars I've ever seen.
00:12:11You see, that's amazing.
00:12:12You're both talking rubbish again.
00:12:14To prove it,
00:12:15I suggested we take our cars
00:12:17for a simple evening drive.
00:12:21Go get a leg in.
00:12:27Right.
00:12:28Here I go.
00:12:32Oh, that's backwards.
00:12:34No, I don't want backwards.
00:12:39It's neutral, so...
00:12:45There.
00:12:46First.
00:12:47No, that's...
00:12:49Oh.
00:12:51What are they doing?
00:13:00Struggling a bit here.
00:13:01No, it's...
00:13:02Pulling away is intense.
00:13:04Oh!
00:13:05Oh, oh!
00:13:06Oh, oh!
00:13:07That was a gear, I think.
00:13:11Finally,
00:13:12the golden age
00:13:13of motoring duo
00:13:14were on the move,
00:13:15but not at what you'd call
00:13:17a hell of a lick.
00:13:23It's like driving around
00:13:24behind the National Trust.
00:13:27I wouldn't be surprised
00:13:27to find there's a souvenir shop
00:13:29in Hammond's car.
00:13:30You have to go through it
00:13:31as you get out.
00:13:33Why are we going so slowly?
00:13:35Well, I want to savour the car
00:13:37and the weather
00:13:38and the journey.
00:13:38I don't want to rush this one.
00:13:40I want to go slowly.
00:13:43Exactly.
00:13:43We want to make it last.
00:13:45Exactly.
00:13:47I should admit,
00:13:49the real reason
00:13:49we're driving slowly
00:13:50is because this part
00:13:51of the French motorway network
00:13:53is very heavily policed.
00:13:57Hammond and I know this
00:13:58to our cost.
00:13:59A couple of years ago,
00:14:00we were driving along here
00:14:01and I was in an Aston Martin then.
00:14:04Got busted by the constabulary
00:14:06who helped themselves
00:14:07to all of our money
00:14:08and took our driving licences
00:14:10away on the spot.
00:14:12We were left stranded
00:14:14at the side of the road
00:14:15that had been raped
00:14:17or murdered.
00:14:21Gives me an idea.
00:14:24James May,
00:14:26I'd love to see
00:14:28how fast your car
00:14:29could go along here.
00:14:33Yeah, let's see
00:14:34what that thing can do.
00:14:35Come on.
00:14:35I want you to unleash
00:14:36how many horsepower is it?
00:14:38320?
00:14:39Unleashed a lot, James.
00:14:42Right here,
00:14:42I'll come past
00:14:43like a blooded samurai.
00:14:45Watch this.
00:14:46Oh, yes.
00:14:47He's buying it.
00:14:49Having dropped back,
00:14:50I then showed them
00:14:51what this car can do.
00:14:57Here he comes,
00:14:58ladies and gentlemen
00:14:59of the police force.
00:15:00Oh, wow!
00:15:02Goodbye, heritage Britain.
00:15:05I reckon it's got more to give.
00:15:07Go on, James.
00:15:08Go on.
00:15:09Give your foot in it, man.
00:15:16At the speed he's now travelling,
00:15:18by nightfall,
00:15:20he'll be in a cell
00:15:21with Pierre Le Burgler.
00:15:27Annoyingly, though,
00:15:28when we arrived
00:15:28at the overnight hotel...
00:15:31Oh, God's sake!
00:15:33It turned out
00:15:34he'd got away
00:15:35with his recklessness.
00:15:43You're not coming in?
00:15:44My car's got no roof.
00:15:46No locks.
00:15:48I can't leave it unattended.
00:15:51You've got a point,
00:15:52because the police
00:15:52are more bothered
00:15:53around here
00:15:54with speeding
00:15:54than they are with crime.
00:15:56Exactly.
00:15:57You've got no door locks?
00:15:59No.
00:15:59God, you're completely screwed.
00:16:17Tell you what.
00:16:22I did get to grips
00:16:23with the gear changing
00:16:23in the end.
00:16:24I did need a shower
00:16:26after that day
00:16:27when I got to my hotel room,
00:16:29I'll tell you.
00:16:29Did you really?
00:16:30Yes, I did.
00:16:31Because I spent all day
00:16:32sharing a small metal box
00:16:34with a 4.2 litre radiator
00:16:36in the south of France
00:16:37in the summer.
00:16:39Honestly, my butt crack was...
00:16:40We don't need to talk
00:16:41about your butt crack now.
00:16:42Please.
00:16:43What?
00:16:44Don't talk about that.
00:16:45Colorado River down there.
00:16:47We'll come back to that later.
00:16:49Not that.
00:16:50We are actually
00:16:50coming back to that later.
00:16:51He's sweating like a pig.
00:16:52But there are other things
00:16:53in there, too.
00:16:54But right now,
00:16:55it is time to ring
00:16:56the doorbell of debate
00:16:58on the House of Chat
00:16:59located on Conversation Street.
00:17:16What conversation shall we have?
00:17:17Oh, I know.
00:17:18Do you remember a while back
00:17:19we were asked to vote
00:17:20on the name of that new,
00:17:21very serious Antarctic research
00:17:23special,
00:17:23and we all decided
00:17:24we wanted to call it
00:17:25Boaty McBoatface.
00:17:26Yes.
00:17:27Remember that?
00:17:27OK, the authorities
00:17:28were very angry with us for that.
00:17:29And they said,
00:17:31I thought, actually,
00:17:31that we'd never be consulted again
00:17:33because the public
00:17:34can't be trusted to be sensible.
00:17:36Well, news from my hometown,
00:17:38Doncaster.
00:17:39OK?
00:17:39Anyone from Doncaster?
00:17:41You're actually from Doncaster?
00:17:42You'll like this.
00:17:43It's actually news from Doncaster.
00:17:45OK?
00:17:45The council has decided
00:17:47to risk it, OK?
00:17:48And they asked
00:17:49the people of Doncaster
00:17:50to vote on a name
00:17:52for their two new
00:17:53sort of snowplough
00:17:54road gritter things.
00:17:55Yes.
00:17:56OK?
00:17:56Would you like to hear
00:17:57some of the suggestions
00:17:58people have come up with?
00:17:59Yes, please, Jeremy,
00:18:00we would.
00:18:00Here we go.
00:18:01Grit Van Dyke.
00:18:04True Grit.
00:18:05Rule Gritannia.
00:18:06I like that.
00:18:07Salt Disney.
00:18:08That's all right.
00:18:09These are the names
00:18:10they've chosen, OK?
00:18:11One of them is going
00:18:11to be called
00:18:12Gritsy Bitsy Teeny
00:18:13Weeny Yellow
00:18:14Anti-Slip Machiney.
00:18:17The other one, though,
00:18:18is going to be called
00:18:19David Plowy.
00:18:20That doesn't work.
00:18:21Well, I think they were
00:18:22hoping we'd think
00:18:22it was David Plowy,
00:18:24but isn't it
00:18:24David Plowy?
00:18:25It doesn't work.
00:18:26Oh, yeah.
00:18:26As in snowplow.
00:18:27No, no.
00:18:28Well, that would work
00:18:28in Birmingham, wouldn't it?
00:18:29I'll get the snowplow out.
00:18:31Get the snowplow out.
00:18:31All right, all right.
00:18:32I can call this
00:18:33David Plowy, then.
00:18:35The marvellous thing
00:18:36is the council, OK,
00:18:37they said this vote
00:18:38cheered the whole
00:18:39of Britain up.
00:18:40Well, it hasn't cheered me up.
00:18:41No, it hasn't.
00:18:42The council said
00:18:43it's got people
00:18:43interested in gritting.
00:18:44Well, it just hasn't.
00:18:45We would be
00:18:46interested in gritting,
00:18:47though, if we'd
00:18:48thought of a name.
00:18:49Yeah, well,
00:18:49we'd just call it
00:18:50Gary Gritter,
00:18:51wouldn't we?
00:18:51That's right.
00:18:53Or maybe
00:18:54Ice-ish.
00:18:55That could work.
00:18:56Yeah.
00:18:57Gary Gritter
00:18:57or Ice-ish,
00:18:58do we think
00:18:58those are better names?
00:19:00Oh, hang on.
00:19:01Adolf Grittler.
00:19:02Perfect.
00:19:04Those are better names.
00:19:04That's a good one.
00:19:05You like that?
00:19:06That works.
00:19:07That's good.
00:19:08Which should we have?
00:19:08Shall we go with
00:19:09Itsy Bitsy
00:19:10and the other one
00:19:10or our names?
00:19:11Who wants our names?
00:19:12Hands up.
00:19:13Hands up.
00:19:14That was a vote,
00:19:15Donkester.
00:19:16Yep.
00:19:16It's just what
00:19:17it's going to have to be.
00:19:18Gary and Adolf the Gritter.
00:19:19It was this.
00:19:21Right, the organisers
00:19:22of the Formula E
00:19:23motor racing series,
00:19:24which is like Formula 1
00:19:25but for electric cars,
00:19:26they've recently staged
00:19:27a race between
00:19:28one of their cars
00:19:29and a cheetah.
00:19:30Now, we've got
00:19:31a shot from the video
00:19:33they took of it.
00:19:34Here.
00:19:34Now, let me ask
00:19:35you two a question,
00:19:36right?
00:19:37The cheetah's top speed
00:19:38is 70 miles an hour.
00:19:40The car's top speed
00:19:41is 140 miles an hour.
00:19:43So, which one
00:19:44do you think won?
00:19:45Was it the car?
00:19:45Yes, it was.
00:19:46Wow.
00:19:46So, the mechanical device
00:19:48with a higher top speed
00:19:49beat the bewildered animal
00:19:50that didn't know
00:19:51what was going on.
00:19:52Yeah.
00:19:54Literally the most
00:19:55pointless race in history.
00:19:57Yeah, it was basically
00:19:57an exercise in not
00:19:58running over a cheetah.
00:20:00Do you know,
00:20:01I was following a pigeon
00:20:02the other day.
00:20:03You what?
00:20:04What, is this a new job?
00:20:05You owned an agency?
00:20:06Jeremy Clarkson, PD.
00:20:07Pigeon detective.
00:20:08It's going to be really sad.
00:20:10Did its partner
00:20:10think it was cheating?
00:20:12Follow you.
00:20:13Well, every time it stopped
00:20:14did you have to read
00:20:15a newspaper like that
00:20:16and then look for its
00:20:17reflection in the shop window?
00:20:19I was merely following it.
00:20:20And anyway,
00:20:21you should have just
00:20:21gone to Trafalgar Square.
00:20:22That's where they go.
00:20:24I was merely driving up my drive
00:20:25and a pigeon was flying
00:20:27along in front of me
00:20:28and I clocked it
00:20:29and it was doing
00:20:2935 miles an hour.
00:20:31Was it?
00:20:31Yeah.
00:20:32Well, that's another animal
00:20:33that would lose a race
00:20:34against a Formula E car then
00:20:35because that was
00:20:36unfortunate.
00:20:37Race it immediately.
00:20:38It had nothing to do
00:20:38with running a private
00:20:39detective agency.
00:20:40But you are running
00:20:41a private detective agency.
00:20:42I was simply following
00:20:43a pigeon.
00:20:43It wasn't an agency.
00:20:44Anyway, the essence of it is...
00:20:46Did you follow it
00:20:46into a tree?
00:20:47No!
00:20:47Because that would have
00:20:47been really risky.
00:20:49The essence of it is
00:20:50so if your animal
00:20:51does less than 140 miles an hour
00:20:53it will lose the race
00:20:54against the Formula E car.
00:20:55If it does more than 100...
00:20:57Well, no animal
00:20:57does more than 140,
00:20:58does it?
00:20:58It does.
00:20:59Peregrine Falcon does.
00:21:00Does it?
00:21:01What if you have to
00:21:02follow one of those?
00:21:03I can't take the case,
00:21:05I'm afraid.
00:21:05I'll need a new car.
00:21:08Lamborghini has come up
00:21:09with a new 4x4.
00:21:10We've got a picture
00:21:11of it here.
00:21:12Amazing looking thing.
00:21:13Fabulous, actually.
00:21:14It does look good, though.
00:21:15Make no mistake about that.
00:21:16Twin turbo V8,
00:21:17which will be an Audi
00:21:17or a Porsche engine.
00:21:20641 horsepower.
00:21:21The only problem is
00:21:22they've called it
00:21:24the Urus.
00:21:25U-R-U-S.
00:21:26Yeah?
00:21:27Yeah.
00:21:27Well, that sounds to me
00:21:29like another word
00:21:30for bumhole.
00:21:32No, no, you mean,
00:21:33it's a bit medical.
00:21:34It's a bit itchy.
00:21:38Mine's inflamed,
00:21:39I can't pee.
00:21:40It's one of those things.
00:21:41It's something down there.
00:21:43Exactly, down there.
00:21:43So the thing,
00:21:44when you go to the doctor
00:21:45he says,
00:21:45I'm going to check you,
00:21:46Urus,
00:21:46and then he puts a glove on.
00:21:47Oh, no, no, no.
00:21:48Oh, he's snapping a glove on.
00:21:49I don't want that.
00:21:51Anyway,
00:21:51so if you want one of those,
00:21:52there it is.
00:21:53Oh, can I just talk about
00:21:54the Ford F-150
00:21:55pickup truck, okay?
00:21:57Now, how many
00:21:58do you think
00:21:59they sell
00:21:59in America?
00:22:00I know it's a lot.
00:22:01A lot.
00:22:02It's 2,500
00:22:03a day.
00:22:05A day.
00:22:06That's new
00:22:06new F-150s.
00:22:08That's huge numbers.
00:22:08And Ford has decided,
00:22:10amazingly,
00:22:10they'd like to sell more,
00:22:12so they're about
00:22:13to introduce
00:22:14a hybrid version.
00:22:15Really?
00:22:16Yes,
00:22:16a hybrid F-150
00:22:18pickup truck.
00:22:18I can't imagine
00:22:20that F-150 owners
00:22:21are very interested
00:22:22in a hybrid.
00:22:23I don't think
00:22:23they know what it is,
00:22:24absolutely, do they?
00:22:25You're dead right.
00:22:26They've actually
00:22:26done some research
00:22:27over there
00:22:27in America Land,
00:22:29and it turns out
00:22:30that F-150 customers,
00:22:32when asked,
00:22:33list fuel consumption
00:22:34as the 28th
00:22:36most important thing
00:22:37in their vinyl situation.
00:22:38They're saying
00:22:38the 27 things
00:22:39they'd think about
00:22:40first on a car.
00:22:4127 more important things.
00:22:43But what things?
00:22:43I can't think
00:22:44of 27 things
00:22:45on a car.
00:22:46Hold on.
00:22:47Looks.
00:22:48Cupholders.
00:22:49Cupholders.
00:22:50Definitely.
00:22:50Power.
00:22:50That's a good one.
00:22:51Yes.
00:22:51Power.
00:22:52Power.
00:22:52Price.
00:22:53Size of the load bay
00:22:54thing at the back.
00:22:55Weight.
00:22:56What else is more important?
00:22:57Weight it can carry?
00:22:58What?
00:22:59What?
00:22:59Gun rack.
00:23:00Yeah, that's right.
00:23:01Come with one.
00:23:02Six, definitely gun rack.
00:23:04If they're saying
00:23:06that fuel consumption
00:23:07doesn't matter,
00:23:07which is what those
00:23:08owners are saying,
00:23:09is why then are Ford
00:23:10making a hybrid at all?
00:23:11Why are they?
00:23:12Ah, well, now...
00:23:12No, they've got to.
00:23:13It's because of the
00:23:15environmental rules
00:23:15that Obama brought in.
00:23:16All the companies
00:23:17have to do a certain...
00:23:18Yes, apparently.
00:23:18But Ford are saying
00:23:19the batteries that are part
00:23:20of the hybrid system,
00:23:21they're not some
00:23:23communist plot
00:23:24to combat fake news
00:23:25global warming.
00:23:26Okay, it's got batteries in it.
00:23:28Yes, but they are
00:23:30for charging up
00:23:31your mitre saw,
00:23:32cooling beer,
00:23:33and running the coffee maker
00:23:34on a camping trip.
00:23:36So the F-150 is a pick-up
00:23:38for carrying a pink battery
00:23:40to cool the beer.
00:23:42And that, I think that
00:23:44is enough conversation
00:23:45for one week, don't you?
00:23:46So let's move it on.
00:23:48Right, the new Ford GT.
00:23:50I used one recently
00:23:51in the race we had
00:23:52from New York
00:23:53to the Niagara Falls.
00:23:55And I'm not sure
00:23:56that on a freeway journey
00:23:57like that,
00:23:58I got the best out of it.
00:23:59Yeah, you chose
00:24:00the wrong car.
00:24:01Not really.
00:24:02No, he's right, you did.
00:24:03Well, the GT was designed
00:24:05as a racing car,
00:24:05as we know.
00:24:06In fact, it won
00:24:06the first time out
00:24:07at Le Mans.
00:24:08And therefore,
00:24:09as we know,
00:24:09using one on the street
00:24:10is stupid.
00:24:11Yeah, so you're saying
00:24:12I should have tested it
00:24:14on a track.
00:24:14Yes.
00:24:15Good, because I have done.
00:24:28There are those
00:24:29who say that on a track,
00:24:31the pretty boy GT
00:24:32is better than anything
00:24:34made in Europe.
00:24:35That it's more exciting
00:24:37than all of its rivals
00:24:38from Lamborghini
00:24:39and McLaren
00:24:40and Ferrari.
00:24:43Well, before I can find out,
00:24:45I have to stop.
00:24:47Right, now with stationary,
00:24:49I can put it in track mode,
00:24:52which will lower the car
00:24:54gently.
00:24:56Not that gently.
00:24:57It will engage
00:24:58the anti-lag system
00:24:59so the power
00:25:00is always available,
00:25:01raise the rear wing
00:25:02and stiffen
00:25:03the suspension
00:25:04by 100%.
00:25:06Good.
00:25:07So, now let's see
00:25:09what's what.
00:25:22The first thing I can tell you
00:25:24is this is not as delicate
00:25:26as a Ferrari.
00:25:28The Ferrari is
00:25:30spalletic.
00:25:31This is more like
00:25:33pogo dancing
00:25:34to the Ramones.
00:25:41This is hard
00:25:43and brutal
00:25:44and unrefined.
00:25:46When you're in a Ferrari,
00:25:48it's like you're
00:25:48wrapped in silk.
00:25:51In this,
00:25:52it feels like
00:25:53you've fallen into a saw
00:25:54at a lumberyard.
00:26:04Don't think, however,
00:26:05that it's just a
00:26:06barroom brawler.
00:26:08All doors
00:26:08and no trousers.
00:26:10It is way more than that.
00:26:19The steering's brilliant,
00:26:21the brakes are brilliant.
00:26:23You get the very
00:26:25distinct impression
00:26:26that nothing in this
00:26:27has really been
00:26:28compromised
00:26:29to make it work
00:26:30elegantly on the road.
00:26:32This is a car
00:26:34for people
00:26:35who wear Nomex,
00:26:37not spandex.
00:26:40It's like the chassis
00:26:41is made from
00:26:42pure telepathy.
00:26:45It can absolutely
00:26:46bring its neck
00:26:48and it just keeps
00:26:50coming back for more.
00:26:54I can't more
00:26:55cars feel like this!
00:27:06Then there's the
00:27:07twin-turbocharged
00:27:09V6 engine.
00:27:11Yes,
00:27:12the soundtrack
00:27:13is terrible.
00:27:14It just makes
00:27:15a noise.
00:27:18A lot of noise.
00:27:20All of the time.
00:27:28And it only produces
00:27:31647 horsepower,
00:27:32which in this day
00:27:33and age is a lot.
00:27:34But it's not a
00:27:35colossal lot.
00:27:38You can't help
00:27:39thinking
00:27:40a thumping
00:27:41great V8
00:27:42would have solved
00:27:44both these problems.
00:27:50But they didn't want
00:27:51a thumping
00:27:52great V8
00:27:53because they wanted
00:27:54the GT
00:27:55to be light.
00:27:56That's why it has
00:27:58a carbon fibre tub
00:27:59and an aluminium
00:28:00subframe.
00:28:02It's designed
00:28:03to be kept
00:28:04on the ground
00:28:04only by the weight
00:28:05coming from
00:28:06its aerodynamics.
00:28:09If you take that
00:28:11weight out
00:28:11of the equation
00:28:12by putting the car
00:28:13in VMAX mode
00:28:14which locks
00:28:15the rear wing down,
00:28:17well, who cares
00:28:18it's only got a V6
00:28:19because the performance,
00:28:21it is blistering.
00:28:230-60
00:28:25takes 2.8 seconds.
00:28:44of course,
00:28:46the GT
00:28:47is not perfect.
00:28:48The steering wheel
00:28:49is ugly
00:28:50and difficult
00:28:50to use.
00:28:52The fuel tank
00:28:53is too small
00:28:54and the body
00:28:55is too big.
00:28:57And yet
00:28:59Ferraris
00:28:59and Lamborghinis
00:29:00and McLarens
00:29:01are very good cars.
00:29:02Make no mistake
00:29:03about that.
00:29:04But mostly
00:29:06they're bought
00:29:06by posers.
00:29:07Now, this isn't
00:29:08for posing.
00:29:09It's too rough
00:29:10and too plasticky
00:29:11and too noisy
00:29:12for that.
00:29:13You buy one of these
00:29:14so you can go
00:29:15to a track
00:29:16on a miserable
00:29:17Monday morning
00:29:17when nobody's looking
00:29:19and do this.
00:29:31and you've got
00:29:32to love it
00:29:33for that.
00:29:40CHEERING
00:29:44You know,
00:29:46the strange thing
00:29:48about that car
00:29:49is that I finished
00:29:51filming it,
00:29:51got into my car,
00:29:52went home
00:29:53and I haven't really
00:29:54given the GT
00:29:55another thought since.
00:29:56I think it's something
00:29:57to do with the fact
00:29:58it's got that V6
00:29:59because V6 engines
00:30:00just aren't exciting.
00:30:02It's like they've got
00:30:03no personality.
00:30:04Some are,
00:30:04but I'm with you
00:30:05a lot of the time.
00:30:06I think he's right
00:30:07if they're turbocharged
00:30:08especially
00:30:08because then they
00:30:08don't rev.
00:30:09That's what you want.
00:30:10You want that extra
00:30:11It could be that.
00:30:11It could be the interior
00:30:12as well,
00:30:12which is made from
00:30:13that really sort of
00:30:13feels like shiny plastic,
00:30:15feels cheap and low-rem.
00:30:16But whatever it is,
00:30:18it feels to me
00:30:19as though it hasn't
00:30:20really got a soul.
00:30:22But we must now
00:30:23find out how fast
00:30:24it goes round
00:30:25the Ebola-drome.
00:30:28Right, here we go.
00:30:31And she's off.
00:30:32Spoiler up.
00:30:33Suspension dropped
00:30:33in full track mode
00:30:35as she makes
00:30:36a confident start
00:30:37onto the isn't.
00:30:40Knocking it
00:30:41down at gear
00:30:42for the first curve
00:30:43to keep those turbos
00:30:44spinning and already
00:30:45looking on the
00:30:46raggedy edge.
00:30:48She's really not
00:30:49mucking about here
00:30:50as she flies
00:30:51into your name here.
00:30:54There's a howl
00:30:55from the bespoke
00:30:56Michelins there.
00:30:58Now,
00:30:59oh yeah,
00:30:59look at that
00:30:59smooth arc
00:31:00round your name here
00:31:02and then lighting
00:31:03the afterburners
00:31:04for the fast run
00:31:05back down the isn't.
00:31:08Not what you'd call
00:31:09a soulful sound
00:31:10as we've said
00:31:11but there's no
00:31:11doubting the sheer
00:31:12speed of this thing.
00:31:15Okay,
00:31:15into old lady's house
00:31:17taking it steady
00:31:18through there.
00:31:20Easy does it.
00:31:22And now
00:31:22back on the gas
00:31:24for what'll be
00:31:24a bumpy ride
00:31:25down to substation.
00:31:28hard on the mighty
00:31:30carbon brakes.
00:31:31Knee through there.
00:31:33This is a Le Mans
00:31:34winning performance
00:31:35through Field of Sheep
00:31:36and across the line.
00:31:40Look, unbelievably,
00:31:41could you see it?
00:31:42Yeah, it's tittering.
00:31:43It was properly,
00:31:44she must have been
00:31:44properly hanging on in there.
00:31:47Anyway,
00:31:48we must now find out
00:31:50where it goes
00:31:51on the board.
00:31:52Let's have a look.
00:31:52I imagine
00:31:53pretty high.
00:31:56Well, yes.
00:32:00176.
00:32:02A second or so
00:32:03slower than the Lamborghini
00:32:04which is half the price,
00:32:05remember?
00:32:06Yeah, but I think
00:32:06what that shows
00:32:07is not that the Ford
00:32:08is slow
00:32:09because it just isn't.
00:32:10I mean,
00:32:10it's quicker than
00:32:11McLaren 720.
00:32:12What that shows
00:32:13actually is
00:32:14just how fast
00:32:15that Huracan is.
00:32:16No, it's exactly
00:32:17that.
00:32:17It's blistering.
00:32:18Absolutely blistering.
00:32:19Unbelievable, Carla.
00:32:21Anyway,
00:32:22it's now time
00:32:22for Celebrity Face-Off.
00:32:37Yeah,
00:32:38and once again,
00:32:40once again,
00:32:41we have a very big question
00:32:42and it is this.
00:32:44Who is
00:32:45the fastest drummer
00:32:46from a band
00:32:47beginning with the letter P?
00:32:49To find out,
00:32:51would you please
00:32:51welcome from the police
00:32:52Stuart Copeland
00:32:53and from Pink Floyd
00:32:54Nick Mason!
00:32:57Look at this.
00:33:01We are in the presence
00:33:02of greatness.
00:33:06Have a seat.
00:33:08Stuart.
00:33:09Holy cow,
00:33:10look at that.
00:33:12We are not
00:33:13messing around tonight.
00:33:16Genuine rock gods
00:33:18have come among us.
00:33:19You are both regarded
00:33:20as particularly
00:33:21excellent drummers.
00:33:23Well,
00:33:23by each other,
00:33:24yeah.
00:33:26And the one thing
00:33:27I see that you have
00:33:28in common
00:33:29is your favourite
00:33:29drummer is the same person.
00:33:30Yeah, we...
00:33:31Yeah, Mitch Mitchell,
00:33:31we worked this out
00:33:32last night.
00:33:32We sorted out
00:33:33the hierarchy last night.
00:33:34That's exactly right.
00:33:36And I knew
00:33:37we were really on it
00:33:38because the table
00:33:38next door
00:33:39were beginning
00:33:40to eavesdrop.
00:33:41and after five minutes
00:33:42they'd both actually
00:33:43come to school.
00:33:44That's right.
00:33:45So we lost them.
00:33:46We lost them by the main course.
00:33:47So you both agree
00:33:47that Mitch Mitchell
00:33:48was your favourite drummer?
00:33:50Yeah, our favourite.
00:33:51Of all time.
00:33:51This was Jimi Hendrix's drummer.
00:33:53I think we should explain
00:33:53to those of you
00:33:54who are not as old
00:33:56as, let's say, we are.
00:33:57Well, that's the travesty
00:33:58right there.
00:33:58This great towering,
00:34:00this monument of drums
00:34:02was Jimi Hendrix's drummer.
00:34:04Well, how would you
00:34:04describe him?
00:34:05Well, Jimi was
00:34:06Mitch's guitarist.
00:34:07OK, perfect.
00:34:09Yeah.
00:34:10One of the things
00:34:11that fascinates me
00:34:11is why are drummers
00:34:12always the butt
00:34:13of everybody's wit?
00:34:14Well, when I say wit,
00:34:15I mean jokes.
00:34:16Well, it's because
00:34:17they secretly admire
00:34:18our dragging knuckles.
00:34:21They sense our power.
00:34:23But there are so many
00:34:24good jokes, right?
00:34:25What does a drummer
00:34:26get on an IQ test?
00:34:27Drool.
00:34:28Yeah, drool.
00:34:29Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:34:30What do you throw
00:34:31a drowning guitarist?
00:34:33His amp.
00:34:35How do you know
00:34:36it's the lead guitarist?
00:34:37It's the lead guitarist
00:34:38at the front door.
00:34:39Got the wrong key,
00:34:40doesn't know when
00:34:41to come in.
00:34:45That's a good one.
00:34:46So we like the
00:34:47guitarist jokes.
00:34:48Yeah.
00:34:49Got any more jokes?
00:34:51By the way,
00:34:52since we are
00:34:53the gnarliest members
00:34:54of the band,
00:34:55for two hours
00:34:56we chop wood
00:34:57for a living
00:34:57and they're
00:34:58prissy little
00:34:59friggled.
00:35:00And you're giving it,
00:35:01yes, it's hard work
00:35:03as well.
00:35:03They tell these jokes
00:35:04and we just take it.
00:35:05We do.
00:35:06Because that's
00:35:06how great we are.
00:35:08You have a rule
00:35:09as well
00:35:09if you make a mistake
00:35:10with drumming,
00:35:11which I particularly enjoy.
00:35:12The suggestion
00:35:13is if you do
00:35:14make a mistake,
00:35:16look angrily
00:35:17at the bass player.
00:35:20How are you doing?
00:35:21Let's move on to gigs.
00:35:22You both presumably
00:35:23played really big ones
00:35:25over the years.
00:35:26What's been your biggest,
00:35:27you reckon?
00:35:27Well, we've been
00:35:28comparing notes,
00:35:29but you play the stadium
00:35:30and you're there.
00:35:31We sell out.
00:35:32A stadium, yeah,
00:35:33you sell out.
00:35:34A stadium's a stadium.
00:35:35But I think he's still got me.
00:35:36We all played
00:35:37the Stade du France.
00:35:38I played it twice,
00:35:39you know,
00:35:39two nights running.
00:35:40He played it three times running.
00:35:42Okay, he beat me on this one
00:35:44and then he beat me
00:35:44on that one
00:35:45and then he,
00:35:46because he came before me.
00:35:47This is the way musicians
00:35:48establish the hierarchy.
00:35:49He's a drummer,
00:35:49they always come about.
00:35:50It's chronology.
00:35:51You know,
00:35:51Manfred Mann outranks me
00:35:52because he came before,
00:35:53but Kanye is my bitch.
00:36:03Now, I've got a question
00:36:04here from Richard Hammond.
00:36:05Oh, God.
00:36:06Where is he?
00:36:07Where is he?
00:36:07Richard Hammond is there.
00:36:09He's in the audience.
00:36:10He's a big fan of One Direction.
00:36:11What?
00:36:13And his question is,
00:36:14how do you old dinosaurs
00:36:15feel now that music's
00:36:16got so good?
00:36:17I didn't say that!
00:36:19I did not say that!
00:36:21I did say that.
00:36:22I didn't say that!
00:36:23I want you to say that!
00:36:24I think I'll let
00:36:25Mr Mason handle this one.
00:36:27Yes.
00:36:28Well,
00:36:28I'd like to go on record
00:36:29as saying that
00:36:31fairly recently
00:36:32I was on a show,
00:36:34I was promoting something,
00:36:36probably double glazing,
00:36:37and I was with,
00:36:39Harry Styles was on as well
00:36:40and I did offer
00:36:41to play drums for him
00:36:42because I'm really
00:36:44looking for work.
00:36:46Anyway,
00:36:47look,
00:36:47we've got to get on to,
00:36:47no, actually,
00:36:48no, we haven't.
00:36:49No, not yet.
00:36:50Because I want to talk
00:36:50about fathers.
00:36:52Because your father was
00:36:53A wonderful man.
00:36:55And a CIA spy.
00:36:56That too.
00:36:58No, he was a great father
00:37:00and he was a jazz musician,
00:37:02that's why I knew him,
00:37:03and he was,
00:37:03before the war,
00:37:04he played jazz,
00:37:05and I still got his trumpet,
00:37:06he was a session player,
00:37:08then the war,
00:37:09the Great War broke out
00:37:09and he joined the army
00:37:10and got into intelligence,
00:37:12and he shaped the modern
00:37:13Middle East
00:37:13as it was up until 9-11.
00:37:15Everything that happened
00:37:16after 9-11
00:37:17is not my dad's fault.
00:37:18No.
00:37:19But it was,
00:37:20but because,
00:37:20I mean,
00:37:21he was very instrumental
00:37:22in Nasser in Egypt,
00:37:23wasn't he?
00:37:23Yeah,
00:37:23well,
00:37:24when I was born,
00:37:25Daddy was away on business
00:37:27in Cairo,
00:37:27installing Gamal Abdel Nasser
00:37:29as the dictator of Egypt.
00:37:31Did you know your dad
00:37:32was CIA?
00:37:33I didn't know
00:37:33until I was in college
00:37:34and his book came out
00:37:37and on the liner notes
00:37:38of the book.
00:37:41But when he was,
00:37:42but when did he stop
00:37:43being a spy?
00:37:44Well,
00:37:44well,
00:37:45well,
00:37:45certainly after he'd
00:37:46written the book.
00:37:53And your father,
00:37:54we can turn to that.
00:37:55Now,
00:37:55he was a documentary maker,
00:37:57but mostly a motor racing
00:37:59enthusiast.
00:38:00Yeah.
00:38:01Which has rubbed off on you.
00:38:03Just a bit.
00:38:03This is where I'm afraid
00:38:05we have to tune you out
00:38:06slightly, Stuart,
00:38:07for a little while
00:38:08because next car collection
00:38:10is...
00:38:10Well,
00:38:10there's a car show.
00:38:11It is a car show.
00:38:12Not a spy daddy show.
00:38:13I thought it was a spy show.
00:38:15How many cars have you got?
00:38:17I don't know.
00:38:21Um...
00:38:2220...
00:38:2440?
00:38:2540.
00:38:26I've got a list here
00:38:28of some of them
00:38:28because we're not talking
00:38:30now about,
00:38:30you know,
00:38:30cars like a Ford Cortina
00:38:32because you've got
00:38:32Alfa Romeo TZ1,
00:38:34Aston Martin Ulster,
00:38:361930 Bentley 4.5 litre,
00:38:38Bugatti Type 35,
00:38:40Ferrari 250 GTO,
00:38:42Ferrari 250 LM,
00:38:44Ferrari 512 Bonnetta Boxer,
00:38:46Ferrari Daytona Competition,
00:38:48Ferrari F40,
00:38:49Model T4,
00:38:50Jaguar D Type,
00:38:51Maserati 250F,
00:38:53Maserati Birdcage,
00:38:54McLaren GTR.
00:38:55It's a remarkable collection.
00:38:58Which is your favourite?
00:38:59Uh,
00:39:00it always has to be
00:39:02the 250 GTO
00:39:03because it makes me look clever.
00:39:06You know,
00:39:06when I bought this car
00:39:0740 years ago...
00:39:08May I just ask,
00:39:09it's a rude question,
00:39:10I know,
00:39:10but how much did you pay
00:39:11for the GTO?
00:39:13I paid about 35 grand for it.
00:39:1635,000.
00:39:17And it's now worth...
00:39:18I've...
00:39:19Don't tell me.
00:39:2030 million.
00:39:22Ooh!
00:39:23No,
00:39:24more than that!
00:39:24Oh!
00:39:27Where are all these cars?
00:39:29Oh,
00:39:29God.
00:39:30I'd left them on a meter.
00:39:31You got, like,
00:39:32a garage from hell?
00:39:34These are largely racing cars.
00:39:36It's racing that interests you
00:39:37more than...
00:39:38Yeah.
00:39:39I never wanted to be
00:39:40a car collector.
00:39:41I wanted to go major racing.
00:39:42And you do actually use them?
00:39:44Yes.
00:39:45And lend them out?
00:39:47Not often,
00:39:48but occasionally, yeah.
00:39:48Oh, you lend them to your family?
00:39:50Yes.
00:39:51Who'd like to see a photograph
00:39:52of what your daughter did to her?
00:39:55There she is.
00:39:56Oh!
00:39:57That's your little girl.
00:39:58It's known as the cupcake.
00:40:01Gloves and the helmet
00:40:02and the look...
00:40:03I like the way she's still trying...
00:40:04Go grey in the pink cupcake.
00:40:05She's trying to steer it still.
00:40:06If you still look on the side,
00:40:07it all looks...
00:40:08She hasn't given up.
00:40:09That's what I really...
00:40:10I'm stuck and get this back.
00:40:12Right.
00:40:13Come on then, Stuart.
00:40:14Let's get to your cars.
00:40:15It starts with a...
00:40:16It's not quite as impressive as Nick's, is it?
00:40:18A Morris Traveler.
00:40:19There you go.
00:40:20I got it for 40 quid from a gypsy.
00:40:22And I spent most of the time under it.
00:40:25But that was when you were in the UK?
00:40:26Yeah.
00:40:26And I had a Millman Minx
00:40:28for a very short amount of time.
00:40:29A Minx?
00:40:30A Hill...
00:40:30A Millman Hinks.
00:40:33Met its end in Hammersmith.
00:40:35No, how?
00:40:36Well, I was pulling around Hammersmith
00:40:38and the articulated lorry came in front of me.
00:40:41And so I slowed down.
00:40:43And the back of a truck ran over
00:40:46and squashed my Hillman Minx like a bug
00:40:49right there in Hammersmith.
00:40:51And as I'm looking at the smoldering remains of my car,
00:40:54a cop comes up and gave me a ticket for bald tires.
00:40:57LAUGHTER
00:41:00It's cruel.
00:41:01Anyway, look, we've got to get on to your laps.
00:41:04Now, whose lap shall we see first?
00:41:06Let me think.
00:41:06I think we should start with...
00:41:08Well, let's be honest.
00:41:10Let's start with the older gentleman.
00:41:11The older statesman, the pro.
00:41:13OK, who'd like to see Nick's lap?
00:41:15Yeah!
00:41:16Well, then, let's have a look.
00:41:22That's how you do it.
00:41:23OK, launch control.
00:41:26And...
00:41:26Oh, look at that for a tidy line.
00:41:29This is a man who's done racing before,
00:41:32holding it nicely there.
00:41:35And onto the ground.
00:41:37Very nice.
00:41:37Very nice.
00:41:38Look at that.
00:41:38No brake lights.
00:41:39Oh, but there should have been, perhaps,
00:41:41because that's quite wide.
00:41:44And there we are.
00:41:45So quick at the beginning, slow now.
00:41:47Typical drummer.
00:41:48Down to the drift.
00:41:51Oh, look at that.
00:41:52It's nicely done, Nick.
00:41:53Nice, mate.
00:41:55And into the difficult bit, too.
00:41:57You're just kissing those lines so neatly.
00:42:00That boat's well.
00:42:01No, it does, because, you know,
00:42:03it doesn't look particularly fast,
00:42:05but I can just see...
00:42:06So, look, that's really skinny, that bit.
00:42:08The gravel's insane.
00:42:10Yeah, no, the gravel's insane.
00:42:11But when you get back on the tarmac,
00:42:12you think, oh, that was wide.
00:42:15Right, now into the fast bit.
00:42:16Oh, there it is.
00:42:19Yeah, it is that fast.
00:42:21It is quite scary through here.
00:42:24That is tidally done.
00:42:25Did he lift?
00:42:30And there we are, he is across the line.
00:42:32So, that's good, you're there.
00:42:34Did you lift off on the fast bit?
00:42:36By the end of it, I did it flat.
00:42:38You have to do it flat.
00:42:40Oh, OK, then.
00:42:41Who'd like to see Stuart's lap?
00:42:43Yeah!
00:42:44Let's have a look at Stuart's lap.
00:42:50Yeah, tidy start.
00:42:51Oh, hallelujah, Geronimo!
00:42:54Are we as tidy as Nick?
00:42:56No, we're just cheating.
00:42:57Off the course.
00:42:58No, that was nice through there.
00:42:59Now, I like to slow it.
00:43:00Yes, that's good.
00:43:02Keep it on the right, ready for the left,
00:43:04and onto the difficult bit
00:43:05when it starts to just snake around on you.
00:43:08This is insane.
00:43:08This gravel is just completely insane.
00:43:11Now, I can tell you're really enjoying the gravel.
00:43:14I hate the dirt!
00:43:16The dirt sucks!
00:43:17I don't know what I mean, I got that wrong.
00:43:18But this bit, right, yes, nicely done.
00:43:21You're a lot more violent, I'd say, than Nick here.
00:43:23A lot more, yeah, look at that.
00:43:25Just kicking the tail out.
00:43:27Kicking the tail out again.
00:43:29Soon you'll be back, though.
00:43:30A bit of a weave on that there.
00:43:32Tarmac, yeah.
00:43:32Must be said.
00:43:34I approve of the...
00:43:35Oh, it's looking very dramatic.
00:43:37It is dramatic.
00:43:38It's a lot more dramatic looking than Nick's lap, but...
00:43:41Let's go!
00:43:43This is a man on a mission.
00:43:45Oh, Christ!
00:43:47That is quick through there, I'm going to be honest.
00:43:49It's nicely held.
00:43:50Stay on course here.
00:43:51Okay, this is a big turn.
00:43:52Big turn, and you've made it.
00:43:53There we are.
00:43:54He's made it back all the way.
00:43:55Let's start.
00:44:03Who shall we do first?
00:44:05I think we're going to go with...
00:44:07Steady Eddie here.
00:44:08Nick Mason.
00:44:101.21.3.
00:44:11Well, you don't know.
00:44:12You're pulling your face, but you don't know what anyone else did.
00:44:14But yeah, you are.
00:44:151.21.3.
00:44:16Just to give you an idea, that puts you in exactly the same time as Luke Evans,
00:44:20who's in Faster Than Furious.
00:44:22Quicker than Hugh Bonneville.
00:44:23Quicker than Michael Ball.
00:44:24Quicker than David Hasselhoff.
00:44:26Whoa.
00:44:27That's some shit.
00:44:28Stuart Copeland.
00:44:30You looked faster.
00:44:32Felt faster.
00:44:33Felt faster.
00:44:34But you did it in 1.24.2.
00:44:39So...
00:44:43Hey.
00:44:45I made it around the course.
00:44:46You made it around the course, but...
00:44:48Mostly.
00:44:48I don't think we've had anyone slower.
00:44:52No, I'm lying.
00:44:53Bill Bailey, a well-known comedian here.
00:44:56You my bitch.
00:44:58Bill Bailey and Alfie Bo, they're both slower.
00:45:01Two bitches.
00:45:01Two, you've got two British bitches.
00:45:04So there we are, ladies and gentlemen.
00:45:06Thank you so much, Stuart Copeland, and the fastest drummer from a band beginning with P, Nick Mason.
00:45:21Now, tonight, Hammond and Clarkson are driving around France in some rubbish, and I've turned up in a modern Honda
00:45:29Civic Type R to prove that modern cars are more reliable, more comfortable, and in fact, better in every single
00:45:35way.
00:45:35Yeah, whatever.
00:45:37When we left the action, I was standing outside our overnight hotel, trying to work out how to secure a
00:45:42million-pound Jaguar that has no roof or door locks.
00:45:46It was a problem.
00:45:47We pick up the action the following morning.
00:46:03Morning.
00:46:05Morning.
00:46:06Sleep well?
00:46:06No.
00:46:08No.
00:46:11Oh.
00:46:12Oh.
00:46:15Did you do that?
00:46:17Yeah, I got bored.
00:46:18Oh, amazed you didn't notice.
00:46:20Well, it could have something to do with the fact
00:46:22that nobody ever looks at their number plate
00:46:25before they drive off.
00:46:28Good point.
00:46:34Soon, they'd got their stupid cars going
00:46:36and we were on our way to the mountains.
00:46:41While I was asleep in my luxurious hotel bed last night,
00:46:44I came up with a bit of a plan.
00:46:47We'd head over the Pyrenees, into Spain and down to Barcelona
00:46:53to try our cars on a very special track that I'd heard about.
00:46:58On the way, I'd prove my car was better
00:47:01and at the circuit, I'd prove that even with me at the helm,
00:47:05it's faster as well.
00:47:08Here's what you need to know about old cars.
00:47:11They are great to look at,
00:47:14but you don't want to drive one
00:47:16any more than you want to use an old twin tub washing machine.
00:47:20They're just crap.
00:47:23I honestly don't know what James May's on about.
00:47:26I don't like old stuff.
00:47:28He loves it.
00:47:28He can't get enough of it.
00:47:30He owns a 1977 Ferrari.
00:47:33He has a collection of ancient Honda motorcycles.
00:47:37Does he spend his spare time
00:47:40fixing computers or going to raves?
00:47:43No.
00:47:44He spends it eating old-fashioned pies
00:47:46and helping his friends refill the steam engine.
00:47:49I know some of you think I'm being deliberately obtuse
00:47:52driving this Honda,
00:47:54but I'm not.
00:47:54I promise you,
00:47:55I do genuinely like it.
00:48:00Not only does it hold the lap record
00:48:03for front-wheel drive cars around the Nürburgring,
00:48:06it's seven seconds faster than the old one.
00:48:08It's done that while becoming more refined.
00:48:11The engine's smoother,
00:48:12the ride's more supple.
00:48:13It's just a bit better all round.
00:48:16It's tremendous.
00:48:18It's also very easy to drive,
00:48:21which old cars are not.
00:48:32It's in.
00:48:34Annoyingly,
00:48:35at slow speeds,
00:48:36James had a point.
00:48:38The Aston was a tricky little sod.
00:48:42That gear wants wine.
00:48:44It's quite pronounced.
00:48:48And then there was the change action.
00:48:57Off balance,
00:48:58I think I prefer a double-clutch system
00:49:02with paddles.
00:49:04I'm just trying to do it with my shirt sleeves
00:49:06because it's quite chilly
00:49:08and that'll make a difference.
00:49:11Definitely getting colder.
00:49:13Fortunately,
00:49:15the 3.4-litre straight six
00:49:16generates so much heat
00:49:19and there is so little shielding
00:49:21that whilst my top half is cold,
00:49:24my bottom half is toasty warm.
00:49:27Window doesn't wind down.
00:49:29No vents,
00:49:30no air conditioning.
00:49:32No air in here at all,
00:49:34in fact.
00:49:35Just heat.
00:49:37What I'm being is casserold.
00:49:41And soon,
00:49:43things got worse.
00:49:45Try not to shiver.
00:49:47Because a thick fog descended.
00:49:51This meant we had to slow down even more.
00:49:56And that made the Aston even worse.
00:50:11This is very authentically 50s.
00:50:13I'm enjoying it.
00:50:15It's sometimes quite difficult
00:50:17to get it into gear.
00:50:19I'm just going to try that in my car.
00:50:20Hold on.
00:50:22Let's have second gear.
00:50:24Don't even knock it down to first.
00:50:28Second.
00:50:29No, it works.
00:50:30Now mine's a piece of cake.
00:50:33But there's no sense of satisfaction,
00:50:35is there,
00:50:35whether you do it right?
00:50:37Yeah, there is.
00:50:40After a little while,
00:50:41the fog went from thick
00:50:42to impenetrable.
00:50:46I can see
00:50:48pretty much nothing now.
00:50:50Lights don't help
00:50:52and the windscreen wipers
00:50:53just moved the water around
00:50:55on the windscreen.
00:50:57Literally can't see a thing now.
00:51:00Fog,
00:51:02rain,
00:51:03noise,
00:51:05a lot of noise.
00:51:08I'm quite cold now.
00:51:12However,
00:51:13the impending hypothermia
00:51:15was not my main worry.
00:51:17Oh, my God.
00:51:19It's not sounding...
00:51:20Yeah, it's not good.
00:51:22I'm having to slip the clutch
00:51:24to sort of keep it moving at all.
00:51:28Yeah, I think I'm down
00:51:29to three cylinders now.
00:51:32And then I had
00:51:33a good old 1950s breakdown.
00:51:40What's the matter with this?
00:51:42I think it's the spark plugs
00:51:43are all fouled up
00:51:44and gummed up.
00:51:47Well, don't tell James.
00:51:48Oh, well, where is he?
00:51:51I don't even know
00:51:52where my car is
00:51:53and only parts it over there.
00:51:54You can't see a down thing.
00:51:56No, that's true.
00:51:56Well, at least you want to see
00:51:57me doing this.
00:51:58He can drive by.
00:51:59Well,
00:52:01I'll...
00:52:01You go ahead.
00:52:03Look,
00:52:04tell him I'm behind him
00:52:05or I'm ahead somewhere.
00:52:06I could only be
00:52:06100 yards away.
00:52:07I'll get back on the road.
00:52:08You get back on the road
00:52:09and tell him I'm there.
00:52:10I'll fix this.
00:52:10And then you'll never know.
00:52:11Exactly.
00:52:11Tell him I'm having
00:52:12a lovely time and...
00:52:13It's starting to rain
00:52:14though, Hammond.
00:52:15Yes, I know.
00:52:16Have you got a jacket?
00:52:17No.
00:52:21Where's my bloody car?
00:52:23Has anyone...
00:52:24Can anyone see
00:52:25an Aston Martin anywhere?
00:52:28Hello?
00:52:31Hammond?
00:52:32I found...
00:52:33I found a car here.
00:52:35It's...
00:52:35Oh, it's a...
00:52:36It's a Toyota.
00:52:38And they're dogging.
00:52:42They really are, actually.
00:52:43That's quite embarrassing.
00:52:49They're driving away now
00:52:51because they realise.
00:52:55Hello?
00:52:55Sorry, panel.
00:53:08I need to see here.
00:53:12Leaving Hammond
00:53:13to his repairs
00:53:14on Dogger Bank,
00:53:15I made some changes
00:53:16in my car
00:53:17and set off
00:53:18to find James.
00:53:23Oh, yes.
00:53:25I have improved
00:53:26my Aston Martin.
00:53:29All of a sudden,
00:53:30my car makes sense.
00:53:32I can't hear it.
00:53:35And then I came across
00:53:37as Bowman
00:53:37who was immediately suspicious.
00:53:41Where's Hammond?
00:53:42Yeah, he's in front of me.
00:53:45I'm driving right behind.
00:53:46I can see him
00:53:46plain as day.
00:53:50The fog is lifting
00:53:51and I can't help noticing
00:53:52that Richard Hammond
00:53:53who is supposedly
00:53:53in front of you
00:53:54is driving
00:53:55a Land Rover Discovery
00:53:56filming car.
00:53:59No, no.
00:53:59He overtook it.
00:54:01It roared off.
00:54:03Unbelievable speed.
00:54:04I couldn't keep up.
00:54:05His car's broken,
00:54:06hasn't it?
00:54:07No.
00:54:09Are your brakes squeaking?
00:54:12Oh, they're birds.
00:54:13It's birdsong.
00:54:14Right, James,
00:54:15look out.
00:54:15There are cows
00:54:16followed by Hitler.
00:54:20No, no, it's not Hitler.
00:54:22It's Winston Churchill.
00:54:28The cow has attacked
00:54:30the Aston Martin.
00:54:34Don't do that.
00:54:36Go and attack the Honda.
00:54:39Meanwhile,
00:54:40I'd got my car going again
00:54:42and was starting
00:54:43to regret it.
00:54:44Yeah, this is quite hard work now,
00:54:46I'll be honest.
00:54:47I'm getting pretty tired,
00:54:48but my left leg is agony.
00:54:52Gear change.
00:54:55My knee hurts.
00:54:57Some of my ears, actually,
00:55:00I'm also quite cold.
00:55:03The truth is
00:55:04that in the fog,
00:55:05at slow speeds
00:55:06on James' ridiculous route,
00:55:08which was full of
00:55:09wartime leaders
00:55:10and attack cows,
00:55:11the older cars here
00:55:13had been hard work.
00:55:17But, as we crested
00:55:19the Pyrenees,
00:55:20the fog lifted.
00:55:26This meant
00:55:27I could drive the Aston
00:55:29at the only speed
00:55:30it understands.
00:55:33Flat out.
00:55:40Providing, of course,
00:55:41I could get past
00:55:42James May.
00:55:48Going into R mode.
00:55:50The lights on the instruments
00:55:51have gone red.
00:55:53Goodbye.
00:56:00He's going down!
00:56:03Oh, he's going down
00:56:05so badly.
00:56:07All over the back of him now.
00:56:10I have more power
00:56:12and less weight.
00:56:16He can come snatching around
00:56:18with his massive engine,
00:56:20but as soon as we get
00:56:20to the curves,
00:56:21I pull away.
00:56:24Coming through.
00:56:27Slow power!
00:56:32I was back in front
00:56:34and, more importantly,
00:56:36back in love
00:56:37with my Aston.
00:56:40What a car this is!
00:56:42Oh!
00:56:44You have to drive it!
00:56:46Every gear change
00:56:47has to be worked out.
00:56:49Every steering movement
00:56:51thought through.
00:56:53And you can never get
00:56:55to a corner and think,
00:56:55oh, I won't bother
00:56:56heel and toe in here.
00:56:57You have to!
00:56:59Or it won't go into gear.
00:57:05As we entered Spain,
00:57:07we were back as a three.
00:57:10And soon,
00:57:11we reached Barcelona,
00:57:12a city known
00:57:13for many things.
00:57:15Its cathedral,
00:57:17its cafes,
00:57:19and its interesting
00:57:20architecture.
00:57:21But actually,
00:57:22the most impressive
00:57:23thing here
00:57:24is this.
00:57:30It's called
00:57:31the Terramar,
00:57:32and it's the oldest
00:57:33surviving banked track
00:57:34in Europe.
00:57:37It opened in 1923,
00:57:40staged one big race,
00:57:41and due to some
00:57:42unpaid bills,
00:57:43closed a day later.
00:57:45For the last 50 years,
00:57:47it's been a chicken farm.
00:57:53OK, congratulations,
00:57:54James.
00:57:55This is
00:57:56the steepest
00:57:57banked circuit
00:57:57I've ever,
00:57:58ever seen,
00:57:59and I'm not even
00:58:00at the steep bit
00:58:01of it yet.
00:58:0178 degrees
00:58:02at the top,
00:58:03apparently.
00:58:04Well,
00:58:05what's your plan,
00:58:06May?
00:58:06Well,
00:58:06what I thought we'd do
00:58:07is put a speed trap
00:58:09at the end of this curve,
00:58:10where it goes level again,
00:58:11and whoever achieves
00:58:12the highest speed
00:58:13through this banking
00:58:14is the winner.
00:58:15Right.
00:58:16Can we have a bit
00:58:16of practice first?
00:58:18Could I make a couple
00:58:18of modifications
00:58:19to Maston?
00:58:21Not if it's swapping
00:58:22it for a DB11.
00:58:24I literally can't
00:58:25get any higher than this.
00:58:27And we've got to
00:58:27drive up there.
00:58:28We do, don't we,
00:58:29to go fastest.
00:58:30If you go off the edge,
00:58:32it's oblivion.
00:58:34No, because the
00:58:34tree will stop us,
00:58:35won't it?
00:58:36No.
00:58:39Before we embarked
00:58:40on our practice laps,
00:58:41I set about
00:58:42my important modifications.
00:58:46What are you doing?
00:58:48I'm giving my car
00:58:49air conditioning.
00:58:51You're drilling holes
00:58:52in a one and a half
00:58:53million pound car.
00:58:57I couldn't do that.
00:58:59That's the difference
00:59:00between you and me.
00:59:00I'm practical.
00:59:01No, that's vandalism.
00:59:02It's not vandalism.
00:59:04It's got a hole in it.
00:59:05Now I'll be able
00:59:06to breathe
00:59:06and see where I'm going,
00:59:08which is important
00:59:09when the track
00:59:10is at that angle.
00:59:11That's like saying
00:59:12Westminster Abbey's
00:59:13in the way,
00:59:13I'll knock it down
00:59:14so I get a better view.
00:59:15It's still vandalism.
00:59:16You don't like old things,
00:59:17so why wouldn't you
00:59:18knock Westminster Abbey
00:59:19there?
00:59:19I like Westminster Abbey.
00:59:20Hoist by his own petard.
00:59:23Another one here.
00:59:27With the aircon sorted,
00:59:28it was time
00:59:29to start practicing
00:59:30on what over the years
00:59:32has become
00:59:32a bumpy,
00:59:34pothole death trap.
00:59:4060 miles an hour
00:59:41as I approach.
00:59:43Whoa,
00:59:44big pothole there
00:59:45in the first corner.
00:59:49Already,
00:59:50I can tell
00:59:50it's very bumpy.
00:59:53Whoa,
00:59:54steering's gone
00:59:55very weird.
01:00:01Christ,
01:00:02it's alarming.
01:00:05It's bloody ridiculous.
01:00:06Look where you're going.
01:00:07You have to look up.
01:00:09That doesn't happen
01:00:10in cars.
01:00:11It's wrong.
01:00:15Coming up
01:00:16to the second back turn.
01:00:22Christ.
01:00:24The bumps
01:00:26are so unnerving.
01:00:28Jesus.
01:00:30Apparently,
01:00:31some of them
01:00:32are so violent
01:00:33they could make
01:00:33the car
01:00:34jump
01:00:35four feet
01:00:36to the right.
01:00:39The forces
01:00:40being exerted
01:00:41on the outside
01:00:42tires
01:00:43are unbelievable.
01:00:45We are talking
01:00:46planetary energy.
01:00:50aware of this,
01:00:51Hammond was
01:00:52starting to make
01:00:52squeaky noises.
01:01:00He said,
01:01:01I want to go up there.
01:01:03Why would I go up there?
01:01:06I'm going to try
01:01:07and lift it up
01:01:08the banking on this one.
01:01:09Here we go.
01:01:15Oh,
01:01:16shit,
01:01:16that was a big bump.
01:01:27Jesus Christ,
01:01:28that's terrible.
01:01:30Finally,
01:01:31the practice laps
01:01:32were over.
01:01:33Oh,
01:01:34Christ,
01:01:34this
01:01:35is
01:01:36scary.
01:01:37The problem
01:01:38with going around
01:01:39a bank turn
01:01:39is
01:01:40there's nothing
01:01:41you can do.
01:01:42You can't slow down,
01:01:43you can't speed up.
01:01:44If anything goes wrong,
01:01:45you're a passenger.
01:01:48And because he was
01:01:49aware of that too,
01:01:51Squeaky Boy decided
01:01:52he didn't want to play
01:01:53anymore.
01:01:55Yeah,
01:01:55well,
01:01:55my practice laps
01:01:56have told me one thing.
01:01:58I don't want to do it.
01:02:00I've just gone right off
01:02:02huge motoring accidents
01:02:03at the moment.
01:02:04Right off them.
01:02:07having decided
01:02:08he didn't want
01:02:09to buy the farm,
01:02:10he went off
01:02:11to buy a farmhouse
01:02:12instead.
01:02:13So it became
01:02:14a two-car shootout,
01:02:15and Asbo-man
01:02:17was the first
01:02:18to go.
01:02:24Concentrate,
01:02:25mate,
01:02:25concentrate.
01:02:27Give me some
01:02:28beanage.
01:02:39Shit,
01:02:40that's the
01:02:40shit,
01:02:41right, boy.
01:02:57Bumpy.
01:02:59Bumpy.
01:03:01Let's make the
01:03:01wind's
01:03:02remindments come on.
01:03:04Come on.
01:03:08Come on.
01:03:08Come on.
01:03:09Come on.
01:03:10Come on.
01:03:11Come on.
01:03:12Come on.
01:03:14Come on.
01:03:15Come on.
01:03:15Come on.
01:03:17Jeez.
01:03:18That is not
01:03:19a pleasant
01:03:19sensation,
01:03:20I promise you.
01:03:30Right,
01:03:31this is it.
01:03:32Let's see how
01:03:33fast I can
01:03:34make this thing
01:03:35go.
01:03:39up.
01:03:52All right.
01:04:03Look how
01:04:05Oh, my giddy-o, that's a T-shirt, that's a T-shirt!
01:04:16That's bumpy, shit!
01:04:20Oh, me!
01:04:35That's one of the scariest things I've ever done in a car.
01:04:40Ever.
01:04:45Well done. Well done. Well done.
01:04:49I've got to say, um...
01:04:52We weren't joking there, he really did go and buy a farmhouse in South West Front.
01:04:57And actually, James and I wish we'd gone with him,
01:05:00because that was hideously terrifying.
01:05:03This is awful. It really was.
01:05:04Anyway, I have the numbers from the speed trap here,
01:05:08and, Jeremy Clarks, you passed it at 89 miles an hour.
01:05:13Well done.
01:05:13That is brave.
01:05:14You're brave.
01:05:20And then, James May...
01:05:2332.
01:05:24You passed it at...
01:05:2693 miles an hour!
01:05:29James May has won a thing!
01:05:37And what you've proved is, by being so speedy, that modern cars are four miles an hour faster than they
01:05:44were 60 years ago.
01:05:46The thing is, though, you can't actually drive your cars on the road.
01:05:50Well, no, the Aston, I have to admit, at slow speed is very difficult.
01:05:54I mean, if you try and tickle it into gear, it just won't have it.
01:05:56The only language it understands is violence.
01:05:59You ram it in and then you're fine.
01:06:00That's not what I was talking about.
01:06:02You're not actually allowed to drive your cars on the road, I.
01:06:05I did, because Aston registered that one as a prototype, so I could.
01:06:10Yeah, it was a bit more complicated in a Jag.
01:06:12Why?
01:06:12Because it was registered as a test car, so technically only a Jaguar employee can drive it.
01:06:18So how did you?
01:06:19I had to get a job with Jaguar.
01:06:21Seriously?
01:06:22Yeah, I now work for Jaguar, I did.
01:06:25But as my job is now done, Jaguar, I'm afraid I'll resign.
01:06:31How will the news go down in Wall Street?
01:06:34To affect the share price, the news will be,
01:06:36Hammond Rock City with shock jag move.
01:06:39That could be the headline, or it could be Hamster Screws Big Cat.
01:06:43That would do it.
01:06:44That would cover it.
01:06:45Look, here is the truth of it.
01:06:49If you went out and bought one of those cars,
01:06:52you wouldn't legally be allowed to drive it on the road, would you?
01:06:56No, you wouldn't.
01:06:57So you've actually wasted everybody's time, haven't you?
01:07:00A bit, yeah.
01:07:01A bit.
01:07:02And on that terrible disappointment, it is time to end.
01:07:05Thank you so much for watching.
01:07:06See you next time.
01:07:07Goodbye.
01:07:36Bye.
01:07:37Bye.
01:07:38Bye.
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