#TopGear #CarReview #Supercars #DragRace #Hypercars #CarCulture #Automotive #TrackTest #CarEnthusiast #Speed #CarCommunity #POVdrive
Category
🚗
MotorTranscript
00:02In tonight's Top Gear, a night in our reasonably priced car.
00:08Maserati's new coupe takes on our track.
00:13And lock at your door mirrors.
00:15We set out to find Britain's fastest white van driver.
00:24But first, an apology I'm afraid.
00:26You see, last week we did a show mostly about the environment,
00:30and I think I may have messed it up.
00:32You see, toward the end, I inadvertently said I was going to kick a barn owl to death.
00:37You said you were going to kick it to death for fun, Jeremy.
00:39I know.
00:40So, can we clear this up, alright?
00:41Even if you're walking along the branch of a tree,
00:44and there's an owl in front of you in your way, don't kick it.
00:47Just don't.
00:49No, we've let ourselves down, and I feel we've let down the barn owls.
00:52Exactly.
00:53So, that was our attempt to be green.
00:55We mucked it up.
00:56We're not going to be green anymore.
00:58This week, we're going to be scarlet.
01:03And that's why we have a BMW M5 in the Top Gear base.
01:09Four-door saloon car, 400 brake horsepower under the bonnet.
01:13Now, a lot of you won't have the first idea what 400 brake horsepower actually is.
01:17So, I've come up with this simple graph to explain it.
01:21Here we are.
01:21There's the power.
01:23And here, to make it simple, the number of double-decker buses.
01:27Now, as an example, Nelson's column, 10 double-decker buses, okay?
01:32Big Ben, 30 double-decker buses.
01:35And here we are.
01:36Here's 400 brake horsepower up to about here.
01:3940 double-decker buses.
01:41If you were to spread 400 brake horsepower on the ground to a depth of about six inches, it would
01:48cover an area the size of Belgium.
01:53And BMW is no longer the only car maker to be putting so much Belgium under the bonnet.
01:59Look at this.
02:00It's the Jaguar S Type R, now available with a 4.2-litre supercharged V8 engine and 400 horsepower.
02:09Wonderful car.
02:10And Jaguar must be very, very pleased to have finally, after all these years, caught up with BMW.
02:16But now, Audi has come along and moved the goalposts.
02:26What they've done is taken the ordinary, rather antiseptic body from an A6 and fitted it with a twin-turbo
02:344.2-litre V8,
02:37which develops an almost unbelievable 450 brake horsepower.
02:48That is the same sort of area as Portugal.
02:52You could fit St Paul's Cathedral in 450 brake horsepower seven times over.
02:59Seven.
03:01So, it's more powerful than an M5 and it's more obvious, too.
03:05With all this chicken wire at the front and those big flared wheel archers, you just know this thing means
03:11business.
03:130-60 takes less than, I don't know, no seconds.
03:19And the top speed is limited to 155 miles an hour to keep the German Green Party happy.
03:25But the other day, I was driving this on our test track and I saw 175 miles an hour on
03:31the speedo.
03:32I reckon if you had a long enough track, you could get it up to 200.
03:39God, it's fast.
03:42So much power.
03:47The RS6 comes as a saloon or as an estate, both for around £58,000.
03:54That's £5,000 more than a BMW M5, but this, I think, is one of the best-made cars on
04:02the road today.
04:11A lot of the rock aristocracy drive these fast Audis, Kenny Jones, Mitch Mitchell.
04:17They make their fortunes and then they want something quiet and restrained in the autumn of their years.
04:21But it's like when they make those unplugged albums.
04:24They can never quite resist having 42 lasers and an inflatable pig.
04:29Yes, I want the Audi, I want it restrained, but ooh, look at those wheel archers.
04:33Yes, and the big grill on the front, that's what I want, big fat tyres.
04:38And this is rockstar country.
04:40All the rock aristocracy ends up down here when the 14th album goes double platinum with a sprinkling of myrrh.
04:48This, for instance, is Gordon Sten's back garden, or Wiltshire, as you call it.
04:54Except this bit, which is accountant-nicked, and he hasn't noticed yet.
05:02Everyone down here is in a band, and that makes pulling over and asking for directions a rare treat.
05:10Excuse me. Excuse me.
05:12Could you tell me the way to Steve Winwood's house, please?
05:15Steve Winwood, yes. Up here, till you get to Van Morrison's.
05:20Yeah.
05:22Left, up to Sting's Trout Lake.
05:24Yeah.
05:24Round that, and at the T-junction by Peter Gabriels, you make a left.
05:29OK, brilliant, thanks very much.
05:31What band are you in?
05:32Pink Floyd.
05:33You're the drummer, aren't you? Sure.
05:35Have you got an Audi?
05:36A few, yes.
05:37Got one of these?
05:38Coming at Christmas.
05:40Thanks very much.
05:41Bye.
05:47I don't blame the rock dinosaurs for choosing the Audi.
05:51You see, it's not just a well-made but out-of-control volcano.
05:55The power is harnessed by a Quattro four-wheel-drive system,
05:58and they've firmed up the suspension a bit.
06:02No, wrong, Jeremy. Wrong.
06:05Not a bit, it's a lot.
06:18I could live with the hard ride, which is a good job,
06:21because I couldn't live without those looks and that power.
06:25This car is a stairway to heaven, a bohemian rhapsody.
06:30But unfortunately for the Audi, that's not the end of the story.
06:34It's easily better than the BMW M5 and the Jaguar S-Type are.
06:40But Mercedes, they've gone berserk.
06:49Welcome to the E55.
06:51Welcome to the door of 500 brake horsepower.
06:58Now, I'm not a fan of the E-Class styling.
07:01It looks like a Honda.
07:03And I'm not a fan of Mercedes service and customer care, either.
07:09I am, however, a huge fan of this five-and-a-half litre,
07:15supercharged V8 engine.
07:16It's the same engine they put in the SL,
07:18and in that it sounds like a tornado jet fighter
07:22and a NASCAR and a peel of thunder.
07:26They've quietened it down quite a lot in this, I must say,
07:29but the power's still here.
07:32If you don't mind doing seven miles to the gallon,
07:35this thing absolutely flies.
07:45Yes, it's £3,000 more than the Audi, but you get more.
07:48In a straight line, it's even faster.
07:52A word of warning, though.
07:54In some ways, this car reminds me of the Eurofighter,
07:59which can't fly without the onboard computers
08:02constantly adjusting the control surfaces.
08:04And this is the same.
08:05It doesn't have four-wheel drive, remember?
08:07And I don't think you could drive it on a day like today,
08:11raining, wet leaves everywhere,
08:13without the traction control.
08:16It's constantly working.
08:17You can feel it going...
08:23Even the tiniest dab of the throttle,
08:27and the light comes on,
08:29telling me that machinery has just kept me out of the ditch.
08:38You are right on the edge.
08:40500 horsepower.
08:43That's as far as you can go.
08:53So, this or the Audi?
08:57Same level of build quality, same size, same interior ambience.
09:02Of course.
09:04It's a difficult choice.
09:06But look at it this way.
09:07If the Audi is Keith Moon,
09:09wild and flamboyant,
09:11then the Mercedes is Charlie Watts,
09:13quiet and unassuming.
09:16Me?
09:17I was always a fan of the Who.
09:19I'd therefore take the Audi.
09:24Was that really the drummer from Pete Floyd?
09:26Yeah, Nick Mason,
09:27on his way to borrow a cup of sugar from Roger Daltrey.
09:30Wow.
09:31So, the Merc was the most powerful, yeah?
09:33Yeah.
09:33But which was the quickest on the track?
09:35Round the track, in the dry,
09:36I'm fairly confident it would be the Mercedes, okay?
09:39But, of course, inevitably,
09:41it was raining when we gave them to the Stig,
09:43so the Audi, four-wheel drive, of course,
09:45two and a half seconds faster.
09:47Really?
09:47Yeah, 133.
09:48That's the same as the SL or the NSX.
09:51That is a very, very, very quick car.
09:53Really quick, all the time.
09:55Amazing.
09:55Right, okay.
09:56So, this week's show is all about driver's cars,
09:58and that set us thinking,
09:59is it possible to turn anything,
10:02I mean anything at all, into a driver's car?
10:04Well, to investigate this,
10:06we found a bloke who owns a Lada,
10:07and we nicked it.
10:12This is the Lotus headquarters in Hethel, Norfolk,
10:15and this is Paul Sherwood's 1.5 E Lada,
10:20six years old and worth about 200 quid.
10:29Taking on Mission Ridiculous is Chris Arnold,
10:33General Manager of Lotus Sport and Performance.
10:35Excellent, so this is it then?
10:37Yeah, this is the Lada.
10:37This is the project car.
10:38Oh, my word.
10:40I don't know much about Lada's.
10:41How long have you had it?
10:42I've had it just under a year.
10:44Lada's are in the blood.
10:45Once they're in the blood,
10:45you can't get rid of them.
10:47They're good cars.
10:48I was going to talk about aerodynamics,
10:50but I'm not really that sure what we could do with it.
10:52It's fairly box-like, isn't it?
10:53Yeah.
10:55It's the blackness that is a Lada interior.
10:57Oh, it's fairly dingy in there, isn't it?
11:00The old steering wheel, again,
11:02it's perhaps not very fashionable.
11:03You can abuse them, hurl bricks at them.
11:07They're just solid, rugged cars.
11:11There's your bog-standard Lada 1500 unit.
11:14I think it's basically a Russian tractor engine.
11:18To be honest,
11:19I don't really think it's worthwhile doing much with this.
11:21What I'd like to do is I'd like to rip it out
11:23and put a new engine in.
11:25Always willing to help,
11:27we spent 200 quid and bought him another engine.
11:30I'm a bit worried that they're going to do something hideous to it.
11:33I really am.
11:41Oh my God, what's he doing?
11:45To assess the scale of the task ahead on ride and handling,
11:49Lotus let loose their top man, Gavin Kershaw.
11:52Oh, God.
12:08This has to be the worst car I've ever driven.
12:17It's not every day that Russell Carr and his design team
12:20get their hands on a ladder.
12:23If we get the wheels and tyres right,
12:25the ride height right as well,
12:26it's going to give the car a much stronger stance,
12:29get the wheel-to-body relationship correct as well.
12:31So there's 500 quid of carbon fibre there,
12:33that's worth more than the car.
12:36Colour, well, it's debatable,
12:37but black is obviously going to lose
12:39some of the dodgy detailing that we've got.
12:42We could actually clean that surface right through there.
12:44That could be quite nice.
12:46We should just have to rip the bumper off
12:48and see what it looks like.
12:50So maybe we can blend these two together.
12:53Ditch the centre console, remove that,
12:55maybe the parcel tray,
12:56put a sort of aluminium wrap underneath,
12:59clean that up across there.
13:00Maybe pick up some silver detailing on it
13:02so it still has a sporty feel,
13:03a little bit more like something.
13:05The owner was actually worried
13:06that you guys were going to spoil the look of it.
13:10Well...
13:12We hope we don't prove him wrong.
13:15Well, it's a tough job,
13:16but if anybody can do it,
13:17it's those plucky boys at Lotus.
13:19I mean, they can make Vauxhall's handle.
13:21And protons.
13:22So we'll find out how they do with the larder later.
13:25But first, the news.
13:27Absolutely.
13:28And we'll start off with a story about parking.
13:30Now, Rio Ferdinand,
13:32who apparently is a footballist of some kind.
13:34All right.
13:35Who's he played for?
13:37Manchester United.
13:38Oh, that's how he's able to afford an Aston Martin vanquish.
13:41And he should be able to pay the £40 ticket he got
13:43for not parking it within the box
13:46which wasn't wide enough for the car.
13:48Well, shouldn't the box be wide enough for a car?
13:51It would make sense, wouldn't it, really?
13:52Yeah, he's lucky.
13:53I got a ticket the other day,
13:54and I kid you not,
13:55for being parked badly.
13:58Since when did it become like ice skating?
14:01Well, I'm all standing there,
14:02no, I don't think that is well parked for it,
14:04and only three from the Nigerian judge.
14:07And that's kind of negative as well.
14:09If they're going to do that,
14:10it's got to be carrot and stick,
14:11so they need to do something positive.
14:12If they think you've parked particularly well,
14:14they should commend you,
14:15maybe give you a rosette on your windscreen.
14:17Yeah, book tokens.
14:18Oh, true.
14:20While we're on the subject of parking,
14:22you know where we nail this programme together?
14:24It's in the middle of London, okay?
14:26There's a multi-storey car park next door,
14:28two hours, nine pounds in there.
14:30So if you're two hours and five minutes,
14:31eighteen quid.
14:33Well, I went into Oxford last weekend,
14:35parked on double yellow lines,
14:36right outside where I wanted to be,
14:39okay?
14:39Took the children out for lunch,
14:41went to see James Bond,
14:42got back five hours later,
14:44twenty quid parking ticket.
14:47That's pretty reasonable as well, two pounds.
14:49You invented valet park, didn't you?
14:51I did, valet parking.
14:52I used to live in Fulham,
14:54right next to the car pound in London,
14:57so you could drive up to the West End,
14:59have a few drinks,
15:00leave the car,
15:01wobble home best way you could,
15:02wake up in the morning,
15:04they towed it home for you.
15:07It was pricey,
15:08but kind of worth it.
15:11Right, news from Citroen,
15:12the Blingo Multispass,
15:14looked at in the very beginning of the series,
15:15Jeremy,
15:16and we all agreed,
15:16fantastic car.
15:17I mean, great family car,
15:19car-like ride,
15:19and all the rest of it,
15:20but best of all, cheap.
15:22Well, this is the new one.
15:23I say new,
15:24it's not like new, new,
15:25it's a bit of a facelift,
15:26but it does look prettier.
15:27But the really important thing is,
15:29it's still prettier.
15:30Yes, I was going to say,
15:31prettier is,
15:31prettier is relative.
15:33That's like,
15:34if you got Ann Widdicombe,
15:35and hit her on the forehead,
15:36with a light tap from a hammer.
15:37She'd look prettier.
15:38That's what I was saying.
15:40It's prettier.
15:41It's prettier.
15:42Yeah.
15:43But the most important thing,
15:44looks aside,
15:45is you get all of that package,
15:47and it's cheap,
15:47and it still is,
15:48because they're still doing the same VAT back deal,
15:50until the end of the year,
15:51which means it's about eight grand.
15:52That's actually a lot of car for eight grand.
15:54I know.
15:54And still a good one.
15:55Here we go.
15:56Astra.
15:57Oh, we've been waiting for it.
15:58No, come on.
15:59Hot Astra.
16:00200 brake horsepower,
16:02okay,
16:03but 16 and a half grand.
16:04That's three and a half grand cheaper than the RS Focus.
16:07Nearly as much power.
16:08The thing I can't work out,
16:10I know, I know,
16:11but back in the old days,
16:13200 brake horsepower in a Cosi,
16:14it was a really quick car.
16:15Yeah.
16:150-60 on this seven seconds.
16:17Which is quick,
16:18but it's not right.
16:19It's a Vauxhall,
16:20you glittering idiots.
16:21That's it.
16:22Alright, you're right.
16:23Here's the V.
16:24Nobody's gonna buy one in the end.
16:25Um, now.
16:26The Audi TT.
16:27Now, it was agreed that,
16:28on your cool board,
16:29what you did think of
16:30and put all the cars on
16:31without asking anyone,
16:32that the TT had been cool
16:34and it had kind of slipped.
16:35Well, you did.
16:36But let's ask this,
16:37is the Audi TT cool?
16:38Hands up if you think it's cool.
16:39Hands up if you think it's uncool.
16:42There you go.
16:42Uncool.
16:43Absolutely.
16:44Well, they've obviously listened to this.
16:45The cool board is taking effect.
16:46So they've put a bigger engine into it.
16:49V6, 3.2 litre,
16:50about 240 brake horsepower.
16:52It's the one out of the R32.
16:53To kind of cool it up.
16:54240 brake,
16:55it's 225 anyway.
16:56Yeah.
16:56So it's 15 brake horsepower more.
16:58You've got a heavier engine.
16:59It will be, yeah.
17:00It's not gonna be much quicker.
17:01So it's probably not that much quicker.
17:02But, here's the exciting stuff.
17:03It has a very exciting gearbox.
17:08It's called DSG.
17:10It's not one of those stupid Formula One things, is it?
17:13I didn't know.
17:14So rang out and said,
17:15can you send me some stuff on it?
17:16And here it is.
17:17And they did.
17:18And it's great,
17:18because it explains it for you.
17:20Well, basically.
17:21The control logic integrated into the transmission casing
17:24maintains optimum gear shift strategies
17:26that perform lightning-fast gear shifts
17:27nevertheless smooth and...
17:28No, you're not reading...
17:29No, don't just rush it.
17:30Don't get it, look.
17:31What is that?
17:32You were reading that bit?
17:33Yeah.
17:33Okay, it's the way you read it, okay?
17:35Okay.
17:36Bit of thesp here.
17:37As on conventional manual gearboxes,
17:40the transmission radios are present
17:41on input and auxiliary shafts
17:44in the form of pairs of toothed wheels.
17:47In contrast to manual gearboxes,
17:49the input shaft is divided into two sections.
17:51It comprises an outer hollow shaft and...
17:54Oh, look.
17:54How many engineers here?
17:56Is there anyone here
17:57who has that first tiny grasp of engineering?
18:00I mean, is it an automatic or a manual either?
18:02You have.
18:02Look, I'm going to give you this.
18:03By the end of what we've finished the news,
18:04I want to understand that gearbox.
18:06Work it out.
18:07It's your homework.
18:08Discuss it.
18:09And we have no clue what it is.
18:11And don't buy that car,
18:12because the gearbox doesn't work.
18:14Well...
18:14I'd love to make the dealer up and say,
18:16this gearbox...
18:17Dunno, mate.
18:19Is it an automatic or a manual?
18:24Dunno, mate.
18:24The one thing we have worked out about it...
18:27Seriously, we have been in the office with that all week.
18:29The one thing we have worked out about it is it says
18:31that it's able to tell...
18:33It's got two clutches and it's able to tell...
18:35It has the next gear ready.
18:38Okay?
18:38Yeah.
18:39Ready for you to change.
18:40You're in third, accelerating.
18:41How does it know what you want next?
18:43And what I think we are accelerating is going to want fourth.
18:45You go, what?
18:46I'm in second.
18:47Oh, sure.
18:47I've got that.
18:50Now, last week we set out to find Britain's fastest faith.
18:53Okay?
18:54And this week we are searching for Britain's fastest white van driver.
18:59We asked for applicants a few weeks ago on the show
19:02and this is how many we got on emails.
19:06Now, we weeded out the psychotics and we were left with five.
19:14And starting at this end we have...
19:16I'm Don from Kent.
19:17Don from Kent and you drive a...
19:19Ford Escort.
19:20Colour?
19:20White.
19:21Course. And what do you listen to in it?
19:23Steely Dan.
19:24Steely Dan.
19:25You a fan of, uh, Pretzel Logic?
19:28Goucho.
19:28Goucho.
19:29I'm more of a Ricky don't lose that number.
19:31I...
19:31Yeah, lovely song.
19:32Well, I hope you win.
19:33I like them more.
19:33I hope you win.
19:35Sorry guys, I like Steely Dan.
19:37You presumably like Bon Jovi.
19:39Yes, how do you know?
19:40Uh, because, uh, I can tell these things.
19:43You haven't shaved.
19:44She's poor.
19:45What's your mother gonna say?
19:46Anyway, what do you drive?
19:48My pride and joy.
19:50Nissan Vanette.
19:50Yes.
19:51Okay, and you are a...
19:52Heating engineer.
19:53A plumber.
19:54And...
19:55You are...
19:56John Wattrick.
19:57You listen to what?
19:58Tom Jones.
19:59Tom Jones?
20:00Mm-hmm.
20:06Obviously, you work for the Royal Mail.
20:08She's slightly psychopathic.
20:10And what do you drive?
20:11Uh, Leyland Daff Lange.
20:12Leyland Daff.
20:13Okay.
20:14You are?
20:14Dale Miller.
20:15Dale Miller.
20:16You work for?
20:17NTL.
20:17NTL, who dig up the roads.
20:19Make our lives a misery.
20:20Okay, and what do you drive?
20:22Uh, Peugeot Expert.
20:23Peugeot Expert.
20:24Stupid name.
20:25And you are?
20:26Steve Hogan from Amersham.
20:28From Amersham, and you work for?
20:30Iceland.
20:30Lovely country.
20:31What do you listen to?
20:32The Bee Gees.
20:33The Bee Gees?
20:34I'm with Don, I'm hoping he wins.
20:37Anyway, they've already been out, and we'll be seeing how they got on later.
20:42Yeah, we'll see what happens.
20:43Right, back in the 1980s, about the most fun you could have in a car was in a supermini.
20:48They were simple and uncomplicated, and you could go berserk without going so fast you got yourself into trouble.
20:53Since then, superminis have got bigger, heavier and better equipped, and faster, which is all good.
20:59But what if you still just want to have something that's fun to drive?
21:03Are you stuck?
21:04Well, let's find out.
21:10Last year, one in three cars bought was a supermini, so these things are everywhere.
21:16We've not gone crazy here.
21:18We picked the mid-range 1.4-litre versions of each car, just to keep it real.
21:23And the first of them is the middest range of all, the Ford Fiesta.
21:28It's a typical Ford, so it's got everything you need in terms of kit, but it's all slotted into one
21:34of the single ugliest dashes I've ever seen.
21:38That's nasty.
21:40One place where it does fare well is the drive.
21:42I mean, it's not, you know, scintillating, but it really isn't bad.
21:47It's getting close to that nice, nippy little car feel that we're looking for.
21:54The old Fiesta drove well, too, but had absolutely no rear seat space.
21:59They've solved that one, and now there is, well, some.
22:02For £9,995, you do get air conditioning, but not much else.
22:07But its big problem is, it's just so dull, inside and out.
22:11You better park it somewhere obvious, or you might just forget you've bought it.
22:15In turning out the new Fiesta, Ford have managed to move the small car market on not one inch.
22:22All they've done is look inwards and put right the problems with the old one.
22:32This looks promising, though. The Citroen C3, spiritual successor to the 2CV, it's far, far funkier than the Fiesta.
22:40Which is a surprise, coming from Citroen, who have, in recent years, churned out cars blander than chicken in a
22:47white sauce.
22:49It's kind of light and airy and happy in here, and like a lot of French cars, I suspect that,
22:54although it is flimsy,
22:56once all the extraneous bits of trim and stuff have dropped off, after about a week,
23:00the rest of the car will just keep on going, forever probably.
23:05And on the way, you'll enjoy a smooth and comfortable ride, if not a fast one.
23:10There are plenty of cutesy touches inside, but it doesn't actually do anything clever, apart from having plenty of storage.
23:17After all, an air vent is still an air vent, and a door handle, once it's opened a door, has
23:22kind of peaked, really.
23:29But it's got personality in its own cute way.
23:41So, the C3 is cute, but not clever.
23:44For that, you need to look at the far-brainier Honda Jazz.
23:47Right now, it's a huge hit, flying out of the showrooms faster than dealers can get them in.
23:52If any car sums up what people want from superminis right now, it's this.
24:05It really does feel massive in here, for what is still a small car.
24:09Really, really impressively big, and that's very clever.
24:12It's every inch of the tiny mini MPV.
24:16But with that, you do get the downsides of an MPV, because it's all one big box.
24:21It's very boomy, noise reverberates around it.
24:24And to drive, it just feels a bit top-heavy.
24:27It's not exactly poised, and that's the price you pay.
24:30You can't have MPV qualities and size, and still have the driving attributes of a nippy little car.
24:37But where it really falls down for the Jazz is on price.
24:40You'll pay $10,300 for a mid-range model, and you'll still have to pay extra for a CD player
24:46or alloy wheels.
24:54But where the Jazz goes for big car space, the selling point of the funky-looking new Nissan Micra is
25:00gadgets.
25:00Some you don't even need.
25:03How sad have you got to be that you need your car to wish you a happy birthday?
25:09I prefer to have friends.
25:12It's built in Sunderland, Europe's most quality-control-obsessed car plant.
25:17And for the same money as a poorly-equipped Jazz, you'll get a fully-loaded Micra,
25:22where you do get alloys, a CD player, and that big car toy, keyless ignition.
25:27And I haven't finished yet.
25:29The windscreen wipers come on automatically when it rains.
25:33We've got parking sensors to make it easier to brace ready for impact as you reverse into the car behind
25:39you.
25:40I've got controls for the stereo on the steering wheel.
25:43There's proper climate control, not just air conditioning, climate control.
25:49It is comfortable and refined, but even though it's the epitome of today's grown-up superminis,
25:55if you're yearning for some of that 1980s small car fizz and crackle, you're going to have to look elsewhere.
26:05The MG ZR. Spoilers, spotlights, garish paint. Fantastic.
26:11It's 1983.
26:12True, it's as subtle as Brigitte Bardot in a Basque, but you can't help looking, can you?
26:32This is far, far closer to the original feel of little cars.
26:36No apologies, no compromises, it is a small car and it's all the better for it.
26:45Now remember, we haven't gone for the top spec, hot versions of these cars, so this is the basic 1
26:51.4 engine ZR, and still feels a bit special.
26:5810 grand buys a ZR 105 with 105 brake horsepower.
27:03That's at least 20 horsepower more than anything else we're looking at.
27:07It is amazingly dated in here, and there's been, I don't think, any effort to make it look, well, anything
27:14really.
27:15It's really quite unpleasant, but that isn't putting me off, because the moment you pull away, all that work on
27:21the suspension,
27:22and all that clever stuff underneath means you can just feel it's that bit more purposeful, it wants to go.
27:30All right, so it's a Rover 200 underneath, but it really does deserve its MG badge.
27:36Do you know what I mean? That kind of, you can feel what's going on underneath, but it doesn't shake
27:42any of the bits of your body off.
27:45And it loves corners, and it really does. This is a fun car. Ugly, but great fun.
27:59So, if you want a practical car...
28:01It's got to be the Honda Jazz, yeah.
28:03Producers just bought one.
28:04The practical man.
28:05In this colour.
28:06Yeah.
28:08And if you want a sporty car...
28:10It's got to be the MG ZR. It was two seconds faster around our track than all the others.
28:15Two seconds?
28:15Two seconds, which is a big difference.
28:17And the thing is, okay, it is based on an old Rover 200, which in turn is based on a
28:21Brontosaurus.
28:22But MG have done such a good job of turning it into a driver's car, it's the one to go
28:26for, if you want that kind of thing.
28:28And the point is, if MG can do that with the Rover, what are Lotus going to have done with
28:34the Lada?
28:38With just two weeks to turn Paul's Lada into something special, Lotus threw every ounce of their expertise into finishing
28:45on time.
28:47The shopping list includes new brakes, a handmade exhaust system, special Lotus black paint from the East Building Coachworks, and
28:57hand-finished seats from the trim shop.
29:01Remember that lump of rust in the workshop?
29:0635 brake horsepower is now 180.
29:20Two weeks and a thousand hours of work after Paul dropped his baby off at the workshop.
29:26It was time, finally, to be reunited.
29:29Right, we're going to stop here.
29:31Right.
29:31Now, before we do anything else, have a listen to this.
29:40First of all, what do you think that is?
29:42I took the exhaust off.
29:44Take your blindfold off and have a look. Let's do this. You feeling alright? Here we go.
29:47Struth! Blimey!
29:49What do you think?
29:50That is excellent!
29:51Well, come on, just go and have a look at the thing.
29:53Good God!
29:54It's a pretty thorough job, isn't it?
29:55Yeah, I should say.
29:56It's beautiful.
29:57Are you going to feel good?
29:59Chris, now, you've met Chris before, haven't you?
30:01Welcome back, Paul.
30:01What have you got to say to Chris?
30:03Thank you very much.
30:04I should think so, too.
30:06It's absolutely beautiful.
30:07It's over a thousand hours gone into this, Paul.
30:09Oh, my God.
30:10A thousand.
30:10And that's a thousand hours of not just anybody, lotus people.
30:14Yeah.
30:15The best there are.
30:16It's absolutely gorgeous.
30:17Are you pleased with it?
30:18I'm really pleased with it.
30:19I mean, when the car first arrived and the alternator failed and the wheel trains fell off,
30:23it's a bit sort of, oh, what we let ourselves in for.
30:26But the more we got into it, I thought, yeah, we can make something out of this car.
30:29Oh, yes, of course.
30:29Because under the bonnet, do you remember we changed the engine for a Fiat twin cam?
30:34Because the old larder lump was destroyed.
30:35That looks a lot better than the khaki lump that was originally on that pallet.
30:39Well, we had a bit of help.
30:41All the Lotus guys brought in a guy who is probably one of the leading authorities in the world on
30:46this.
30:46Ex-Formula One rex engineer as well.
30:48Oh, my God.
30:48Knows what he's doing.
30:49In fact, you stay there while you're looking at it.
30:51I'm just going to get this.
30:52He wrote the book on it.
30:53Literally wrote the book on that thing.
30:55And you've done a thorough job.
30:56Where's Rob?
30:57Rob, come here.
30:58You are lead technician, yeah?
31:00That's your official term.
31:01I've heard rumors that you literally haven't stopped.
31:03And do you know what?
31:04You look dreadful.
31:06Get some sleep.
31:07Stop thinking about this car.
31:09Then there's Gav, whom we've seen before.
31:11And you've met Gav.
31:12Yes.
31:12Because he drove your hunk of garbage when he killed it.
31:16So I think it's time to take you out and scare you out of your wits.
31:19Good luck.
31:24Bloody hell.
31:41What you have to watch now is you actually get something called wheelspin.
31:45Whee!
31:46You can power slide.
31:51Third gear wheelspin.
31:54I think I'd be too petrified to do that myself.
31:59It's a beast.
32:07So there we are, proof that any car can be converted into a decent driver's car.
32:14Given, you know, a team of ten men and a fortnight and a hundred thousand pounds, which is what this
32:20would have cost if you'd have gone to Lotus and asked for it yourself.
32:24So you, Paul, better look grateful.
32:28Very grateful.
32:29No, no.
32:29Look it.
32:31More grateful than that to the Lotus people.
32:34In fact, get on your knees.
32:37Great stomach, actually.
32:39Get on your stomach.
32:40On the floor.
32:47Now, every week we put a star in our reasonably priced car.
32:52And this week he's more than just a star.
32:54He's a knight.
32:55Ladies and gentlemen, Sir Michael Gambon.
33:07Now, this week's show, predominantly about driver's cars.
33:10Oh.
33:11Does that fit with your...
33:13Well, not really, because I, Jeremy, I spend, being an actor, I spend the whole of my life stuck in
33:18West End traffic.
33:19Go in the bus lanes.
33:20That's what I, you can go really fast in bus lanes.
33:23I know, I've tried that, but I get hat up.
33:25You've got a Ferrari, though.
33:26Yeah, but it's not the sort of Ferrari you should own, I'm told.
33:29Every time I mention my Ferrari, it's a 348.
33:32Oh, no, that's a shocking one.
33:33Yeah, they say I should know.
33:35So, I don't care, I like it.
33:37Now, the thing I've enjoyed, I've enjoyed you in a number of different things over the years, but the one
33:43thing is longitude.
33:44Yeah.
33:44Just the most fantastic thing.
33:46John Harrison, the man who invented the device for telling where you are in the sea.
33:51Now, is there a bit of him in you, this kind of...
33:53Oh, yeah.
33:54Really?
33:54Because I have a big engineering workshop at home.
33:57Um, and I make things, and...
33:59What sort of things?
34:01Um, I, uh, all sorts, anything that goes, clocks, bits of machinery.
34:05And you fly as well, don't you?
34:07Yeah.
34:07I'm not too good at that, because the...
34:09Uh, uh, once I was taking another actor who was frightened of flying.
34:14Um, I, I, I, I convinced him to get in my plane, and I proved to him how safe it
34:18was.
34:19He was going to go in a jumbo jet, and I said, well, my one's similar.
34:22You know, it's, uh, it's, it's, it's basically the same.
34:27But then when I got over the Thames heading north, before London City Airport opened, I feigned a heart attack.
34:33LAUGHTER
34:38Because there's something inside me that always wants to fool around.
34:41And I was a bit bored, and, uh, we were 2,000 feet going to a lip switch, and I
34:45went,
34:46Oh, oh!
34:48LAUGHTER
34:51I put a bit of left rudder on, and held it for about ten seconds.
34:55So the plane was then just falling?
34:56We were going like that, I could see Tower Bridge on my left.
34:58And, um, but you'd expect him to go mad, wouldn't you?
35:01Well, yeah.
35:02If you were making a film of that.
35:03But he did nothing.
35:04What, just sat there?
35:05He just froze.
35:06He was prepared to crash and burn rather than...
35:08He was prepared to die.
35:09I, I then came round and apologised, and I can't tell you what he said.
35:13LAUGHTER
35:16Are you friends?
35:16I don't see you anymore.
35:18LAUGHTER
35:20Remind me never to get on plane with you.
35:22I was going to say, when you were at, like, the RSC,
35:25Yeah.
35:25And doing the Shakespearean, do you sit in the changing room, in the changing room,
35:28there's a dressing room, with a car magazine?
35:30Well, I've just done a play at the Royal Court.
35:33Which is a writer's, very serious writer's theatre.
35:35And that's a way to annoy people, to sit there with a car magazine.
35:38So that's why they do all the time.
35:39Look, with Dame Maggie Smith.
35:41Yeah.
35:41Dame Maggie, look at the 50 to 70 time on his...
35:44LAUGHTER
35:46Is she interested in that?
35:47They hate that.
35:47No, I think she quite likes cars, I don't know.
35:49Really?
35:50Yeah.
35:50Well, we'll just give her a course, if she wants to come on, try our luck in the Suzuki.
35:54LAUGHTER
35:55Do you get over to Hollywood much?
35:57Kick around with the stars?
35:58Yeah, yeah, I've done a bit.
35:59I've done, I've done about a half a dozen films in Hollywood.
36:03Christian Slater took me out in his Beetle.
36:05He's got a great trick.
36:07He gets on the PCH.
36:09The...
36:10Pacific Coast Highway.
36:12Highway, yeah.
36:12Top flat out, and then steers it using the quarter lights.
36:16What?
36:17Yeah.
36:18Explain the logic behind that.
36:20Well, there's no logic.
36:21So what's it...
36:22If you sit on a handbrake...
36:23What sort of car is he in?
36:24A Beetle.
36:25A Volkswagen Beetle?
36:26Yeah.
36:27Got quite big quarter lights.
36:28They don't have them now, do they?
36:29No, well, they don't make the Beetle anymore.
36:30Well, they do that modern thing, which is a golf with a Mexican...
36:32They do.
36:32And he goes like that, you see.
36:34And by moving the quarter lights, they act like aircraft rudders.
36:38And you can steer the car.
36:40LAUGHTER
36:42So I'm sitting in the back, in the back of his Beetle.
36:45He's sitting in the middle of the car, like a McLaren, doing this.
36:49I just, I have to do this, okay?
36:51You're sitting in the car with Christian Slater.
36:53How did this conversation crop up?
36:55Did he just suddenly say, hey, I've got a great idea?
36:58No, we were talking about footy around in cars.
36:59He said, I'll show you a very good one.
37:01He just did this for me.
37:02And then you told him about failing a heart attack.
37:04Yes.
37:04That'd be a really good one.
37:06Of course, we're not here to simply talk about what you've had, what you do, Christian Slater.
37:11No.
37:11You're here to try your hand in our Suzuki Liana.
37:15Oh, don't.
37:16Now, you've been watching the show, yeah?
37:17Yeah.
37:17You've seen all these people have a go.
37:19This is the sort of ball, obviously Harry Enfield, not in the ballpark at all.
37:22He's way off the bottom there.
37:24But everyone else is sort of in this, was it wet or dry when you went out?
37:27Very wet.
37:28Very wet.
37:29Yeah.
37:29Again, another wet lamp.
37:31Shall we see what happened?
37:32No, don't.
37:33No, I'm afraid we're going to.
37:34Let's run the tape.
37:35No, no.
37:36No.
37:37No.
37:38No.
37:39No.
37:39Now, this is quite good.
37:41Oh.
37:41Oh, God.
37:42That's like, you had to look at the gear leave with a change there.
37:46Which is kind of like reading, moving your lips.
37:48Yeah.
37:48Which I suppose is what you do for a living, really.
37:50Yes.
37:51You do, you've just, I have to say, is this acting or are you really?
37:54No, I'm not.
37:55I didn't even know there was a camera there.
37:57You do look quite scared.
38:01Tyres!
38:01Oh.
38:03You were very close to the tyres there.
38:05I don't know where you're supposed to be.
38:06No, well it was beautifully, actually, you're off the...
38:11Oh.
38:11You were...
38:11Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
38:17Oh.
38:23Now, you said to me before we went out, you said, can you roll it?
38:28And I said, no, no.
38:30No, I didn't mean.
38:31I thought, would it roll?
38:32Well, yes, plainly, all the evidence.
38:35Was that a bit frightening?
38:37Yeah.
38:38I was really frightened then.
38:39Well, I mean, that was fully in the air. I think we ought to see that again. Can we see
38:42that again?
38:43Can we play it in slow motion for us? Here we go.
38:45Let's have a look at this. Off the road there. Did you hit that?
38:48Yeah.
38:50And then...
38:50Oh, God.
38:54It's brilliant, isn't it?
38:55It was beautiful car control. Was that on your timed lap?
38:58Yeah. What was my time?
39:00Shall we find out what his time was?
39:01Yeah.
39:02It was including that, frankly, spectacular moment. He didn't hurt the car, did he by any chance?
39:08Yeah, I've got the... I've got to bring it back. The wing mirror came off.
39:13You've damaged our reasonably priced car.
39:15I was going to bring it in with me, but...
39:17Well, never mind. Here we go. Michael Gambon.
39:22There we are. Wet. Another wet day. And you did it in one minute. What do you think?
39:29No idea.
39:30One minute, 55 seconds, ladies and gentlemen.
39:40Two seconds faster than Jonathan Ross, and that was on a dry track.
39:45Oh, really?
39:46You know, the Stig, he took you out to show you where to go.
39:49Yeah.
39:49He said, when you first took the wheel, that you have the best appreciation of racing lines
39:55of anyone that's been on the show so far.
39:57Ah.
39:58Ooh.
39:59He said, most of them are just young kids. It's all, mm-mm-mm, but you were much more the
40:03old bull.
40:03More Jackie Stewart.
40:06No, he didn't say that, actually. Maybe we should get Jackie Stewart on one day.
40:11I thought it was Jackie Stewart.
40:13What, you thought you were?
40:15Stig.
40:16Stig was, not with that accent. Have you any idea who he is?
40:20No, he's putting on an accent, isn't he?
40:22I don't know. I honestly have no clue who the Stig is. We thought it might be Maureen from driving
40:27school.
40:29But then the way it holds the power slides, I'm not sure it is.
40:32Yeah, I don't know.
40:33But he talks in a French accent, but it's not.
40:35He took me out in the A6 and the R, the RS6.
40:38I felt sick at the end of it.
40:41Well, it's been enormous fun having you here.
40:43Ladies and gentlemen, Sir Michael Gambon.
40:55This week's Insider Trader News is all about new cars.
40:59Now, Suzuki Liana, we started off reasonably priced car, $9.995.
41:03Yeah, then we had dealers say, no, we're doing one for $8.995.
41:06Then $7.995. This week, I had an email from a dealer up north, can't give the name,
41:11but they've got a powder blue one just like our car, Aircon, ABS, airbags, $7.495.
41:17So what, is nobody buying those cars?
41:19Despite us putting it on the telly every week, then that's $7.495.
41:21Couldn't possibly say.
41:22$7.495.
41:22That's a cheap car.
41:23It's insanely reasonable.
41:24Big time.
41:25And finally, pre-registered cars.
41:27Okay, this is something the manufacturers do to try to, you know, try to bump the registrations up.
41:31Basically, register a whole bunch of cars in their own name,
41:34and then kind of try to sell them later.
41:36So they haven't sold them, but it just gets more numbers.
41:38So it's all part of this battle to get fourth place or whatever.
41:41Yeah, absolutely.
41:42To appear to have sold more cars.
41:43Yeah.
41:43Gotcha.
41:44And eventually, they've got a fine home, so they come onto the market as used cars.
41:47But I mean, if you buy one, when you come to sell it, it's going to have two owners on
41:50it.
41:50It's going to be you and a manufacturer.
41:51It doesn't make a huge difference to the value.
41:53It really doesn't.
41:53But it does make a difference to the price you pay now.
41:56This week, I was offered a Renault Scenic.
41:58Remember?
41:58Renault trying to chase for fourth place at the minute.
42:00That car's normally 12 and a half grand.
42:03That's a 1.4.
42:03It's got aircon.
42:04It's got alloys.
42:05Proper car.
42:05That car was offered to me this week for nine grand.
42:08Now, that's a really useful family car for nine grand.
42:10It'll have no miles on it.
42:11No.
42:11And you'll be fine when you come to sell it.
42:12Delivery mileage.
42:13Next to nothing.
42:14If you want to go cheaper, how about this?
42:15Ford Focus.
42:161.4 CL three-door.
42:17That car's normally about 10 and a half grand.
42:20Pick one of those up at the moment.
42:21Pre-registered for $7,995.
42:23Good price.
42:24Yeah.
42:24And then finally, if you want to go really cheap, remember last week, Ford car, normally
42:28six and a half grand.
42:29Some dealers were banging them out.
42:31$4,995.
42:31How about this is an option?
42:32Pre-registered.
42:34Fiat Punto Mia.
42:351.2 three-door.
42:37$4,995.
42:40Now, in the 1940s and the 1950s, a Maserati was as exotic and as unattainable as a banana
42:46or nylon.
42:48It was as desirable, come to think of it, as a banana in a nylon sock.
42:53But by the time I was old enough to notice, a Maserati was a broken down biturbo at the
42:58side of the M1.
43:00Now, however, Maserati has been taken over by Ferrari.
43:05And they're supposed to be chic and tropical all over again.
43:25This is the latest model.
43:27You've seen the coupe styling before.
43:30It's not very nice.
43:31And the new rear lights don't help.
43:35But there's something else.
43:40It's got a new engine.
43:424.2-litre V8 replaces the old 3.2-litre turbo.
43:47And that develops nearly 400 brake horsepower.
43:51What good's that in this day and age?
43:54Nearly 400.
43:56It's like being nearly six feet tall.
43:59Nearly winning the lottery.
44:06Then we step inside, past these elegant hinges and this dainty welding, to find that it is
44:13a proper four-seater.
44:15We also find a clock, such as you would give to Dave Brent on his retirement.
44:19And we find something which Maserati calls Cambio Corsa.
44:24We call it stupid, flappy Formula One gearbox.
44:30Great.
44:34And it won't start.
44:35Why won't it start?
44:38Look at it.
44:39It's got to be neutral.
44:41Will you go into neutral now?
44:43My foot's on the brake.
44:45There we are.
44:46Neutral.
44:47Great gearboxes, these.
44:48Love them.
44:50Now it's beeping at me.
44:51Oh, we go!
45:08There are, however, two good things about this gearbox.
45:12First of all, it's exactly the same system that you get in a Ferrari 575, but in the Ferrari,
45:17it costs you £6,000.
45:18In this, it's £3,000.
45:21The other good thing is, you don't have to have it.
45:25You can have a normal manual, which means your head doesn't get shaken off every time you change up.
45:35God, that's awful.
45:44Got to be the poke, though.
45:45Got to be the poke, though.
46:01Got to be the poke.
46:06Get to be the poke, though.
46:07Get to get the power onto the road, the Maserati comes with four different settings for everything.
46:12Gearbox, seats, the lot.
46:14Think of all those Italian electrics.
46:17And it has something called Skyhook Suspension, which can be tuned to suit your mood.
46:23Sounds good, but it isn't.
46:31The trouble is, when you push the sport button to firm everything up, tighten up the gearbox,
46:36it goes from being a... I don't know, it goes from being a blancmange to being a marshmallow.
46:44You don't drive this car so much as... Hang on.
47:08And way betide anyone who thinks it's a good idea to turn the traction control off.
47:17This is our hammerhead corner, and oh dear, made a bit of a monkey's breakfast to vet.
47:29So, I had another go.
47:34And, oh dear, made a monkey's breakfast and then lost my temper.
47:44I've never had such a problem going round this track.
47:48Oof, as I am having in this.
47:55This, then, is not a sports car.
47:58Frankly, you're more likely to find a sports car if you turn over and watch Monarch of the Glen or
48:03Heartbeat
48:04or whatever period drama they've got on the other side.
48:07Nick Berry's helmet.
48:09That's more sporty than this.
48:13But then, perhaps this isn't supposed to be a driver's car, a rival for Porsche and Ferrari.
48:19Perhaps it's supposed to be a pasta and bolognese alternative to the roast beef and Yorkshire pudding that is Jaguar.
48:32In which case, where's the opulence?
48:35Why have they fitted narrow little school chairs instead of seats?
48:40Where's the sense of well-being that you get from a Jag XKR?
48:44You know what this is?
48:46It's a £61,000 Mr. Nearly car.
48:49It's stuck in a no-man's land between the Jaguar Rock and the Ferrari Hard Place.
48:57So, it's no good then?
48:59No, not really.
49:00I mean, all I'm hearing all from the studio audience is basically,
49:03it's horrid, it's not very nice.
49:05And it isn't really, because if you want, it's got plenty of space, I will say that.
49:08But if you want a comfortable cruiser, buy a Jag or a Mercosel.
49:12And if you want hardcore performance, Porsche, Ferrari, you know.
49:16You're better off by a DB7, aren't you?
49:17Yeah, much better off.
49:18But it does have one chance to redeem itself.
49:23Stoke up the Stig.
49:25And he's off.
49:26And it doesn't really matter how long it takes him to get round,
49:28because he's already wasted 15 minutes getting it started
49:31and setting the gearbox and the suspension to his Stiggy liking.
49:35That and choosing the right CD, of course.
49:45Right, he's coming up to the Hammerhead now,
49:47and if you can get round here without spinning,
49:49we might even let him come and sit by the fire on Christmas Day.
49:57And he's done it!
50:03Power now, and the Mazza's not lacking in that department.
50:06Up to a huge speed by the time he gets round to the last two corners,
50:09up to what we're now called Gambon Bend.
50:12He's not gone sideways like Michael, and he's across the line.
50:17Brilliant driving, but not a particularly brilliant time.
50:21One minute, 38 seconds.
50:24That's only just slightly faster than a Bentley.
50:28Not a good car.
50:29No.
50:30Right, earlier on, we met our white van men.
50:32They've been hanging around, entertaining themselves,
50:34struggling with the sudden crossword and looking at girls.
50:37But here they are again.
50:38And they all reckon, you know, a bit handy on the road behind the wheel.
50:41But how did they get on?
50:42Somewhere where there's no opportunity to rip anyone's door mirrors off.
50:47Naturally, they'd come in their own weapons of choice.
50:50But today, they wouldn't be using them.
50:52Because if you're looking for the fastest white van man,
50:55you need a special kind of white van.
50:57The Ford World Rally Transit.
51:00And it ain't just a pretty paint job either.
51:02The engine's been modified to give 200 brake horsepower.
51:05It's got race spec wheels, brakes, suspension and exhaust.
51:09And just look at that.
51:12Even the interior is proper racing stuff.
51:25Right, down to business.
51:27And first up, John, from the Royal Mail.
51:29So this is it, OK?
51:30A big wuss, a white van man.
51:32Three, two, one.
51:40A Royal Mail driver's generally quick.
51:45Oh, don't they catch out anywhere.
51:48And whilst postman Pat was on the track, I received a few nuggets of white van man wisdom.
51:53You know what?
51:54They're the worst in the world, Jim.
51:55Well, when we drive them.
51:57Or when we drive them.
52:04Next, Steve from Iceland.
52:06The firm, that is.
52:06Not the country.
52:10Oh, ****.
52:11Took that in the wrong gear.
52:15Whoa!
52:17This is the guy who yesterday destroyed a police car.
52:21Did he?
52:21Yeah.
52:22He backed into it.
52:24Wrote it off in his Iceland van.
52:29Whoa!
52:29Whoa!
52:30Whoa!
52:32Is there a technique to driving a van, then?
52:34Yeah, put your foot down.
52:35Put your foot down's good.
52:38Please don't break it, Steve.
52:40It's always handy to have dents in your van, because more people get out of the way.
52:43Yeah.
52:44And Steve was determined to add a few more.
52:57You done?
52:58Just bent the bracket holding it on.
53:00Next up, Don, who'd got lost on the way down.
53:03It's that way.
53:05And then left.
53:06Three, two, one.
53:08Go!
53:19And sure enough, he got lost again.
53:24He's gone wrong again.
53:25He's gone wrong again.
53:27He's gone wrong.
53:28He's gone wrong.
53:29He's gone wrong.
53:29This way.
53:30This way.
53:30Left.
53:32Left.
53:32Go left, Don.
53:33Murray Keller.
53:34Hooray!
53:35Yay!
53:37Well done.
53:39Again, just because he's done...
53:41You know...
53:42He worked for that.
53:44He worked hard.
53:45Dale was the quiet man of the bunch.
53:48Happy to let his driving do the talking.
53:56You're supposed to let the clutch out as well.
54:00At last, a full-on white van man, silent but deadly with the rev canter.
54:10And to finish, the classic 5.29pm on a Friday return to base manoeuvre.
54:21Oh, wheel.
54:24I've done a wheel.
54:27You're giving us van drivers a bad name, aren't they?
54:30Roger, not a man lacking in confidence, so how are you feeling about this?
54:34Very good.
54:35Get me going.
54:363...
54:362...
54:371...
54:38Go!
54:44And another vintage van man.
54:47Not fussed about someone else's tyres.
54:52And not that fussed about where the road markings go.
54:59All in all, Roger's van man tactics set him up for a nice quick lap.
55:04That was good, wasn't it?
55:06Smooth.
55:16Right.
55:16Right.
55:18I have the results here and in fifth place.
55:22I was rooting for you and you got lost.
55:27You were useless.
55:29Most people did it in around about two minutes, two minutes ten.
55:34You took four minutes fifty-five.
55:39And as a result, we would like to present you with a booby prize, which is part of the door
55:44mirror that Michael Gambon knocked off the Suzuki Liana.
55:51Don, there you are.
55:52Thank you, Jeremy.
55:55Right, so to the rest of the results, in fourth place, that gives us, with two minutes and nine, John
56:00the Postman.
56:01Well done, John.
56:03And in third place, it's Roger, the plumber.
56:09Plumber.
56:10Plumber.
56:10Plumber in two minutes, five seconds.
56:13Right.
56:14And then, it gets very close with two minutes and three seconds.
56:19Steve from Iceland.
56:22And that means, Jason, bring in the trophy because the winner is Dale from NTL, two minutes, two seconds.
56:43The team are back this Tuesday night, for the life and development of a teenage boy next on BBC Prime,
56:49a real insight into the teen species.
56:51The kid's back.
56:52Me the city's back the man's back.
56:57And Vince McM �менede
57:06Eliot's back.
Comments