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00:00More Top Gear this Tuesday night on BBC Prime.
00:03To come, a real insight into teenage life, the minds and bodies of the teen species next.
00:09I learn how to drive a Lotus Elise properly.
00:14And it's religious racing as we find the fastest faith.
00:22So it's a riot of fun and games, but the theme of the show tonight is the environment.
00:30Yeah, I know, but you see, the thing is, what we're going to try and do is balance our love
00:35of the car with a need to be green.
00:37And that's why we, earlier this week, put a camera over the M4 bus lane to try and work out
00:44what it's for.
00:45I mean, obviously, the government must have done research.
00:48They must have worked out there was a need for it.
00:51Obviously.
00:52I mean, you wouldn't put all the cars in those two lanes.
00:54That would be the work of a madman to do that, unless there were lots of buses.
01:00Well, there we are.
01:01We're going to play this throughout the show.
01:04And if any one of you sees a bus coming along, do shout out, okay?
01:08Feel free.
01:09Okay, good.
01:10Yeah.
01:11Okay.
01:12Well, while we're waiting...
01:14What?
01:16Well, there is something.
01:17There is something coming.
01:19And it's a bit small.
01:21That's not a bus, that's an ambulance.
01:23False alarm!
01:24It is, yeah, it is.
01:24Panic down, but be ready, okay?
01:26While we are waiting to spot a bus, this is the new Saab 9.3.
01:30It is a competitor for the Audi A4 and the BMW 3 Series.
01:34But because it's a Saab, because it's Swedish, it's that bit more cuddly, more friendly than those more aggressive German
01:41competitors.
01:42And that makes it the perfect car to look at in tonight's caring-sharing Top Gear.
01:46But don't worry, there's going to be no nonsense with spinning wheels or any of that, because I'm going to
01:50drive this in an eco-friendly manner.
02:07This 2.0-litre T model may have 175 horsepower and do 0-60 in 8.5 seconds, but don't
02:14worry, because I'm going to travel to work following the government's official guidelines on commuting in an eco-friendly manner.
02:30We should, and I quote, steady our speed.
02:34They suggest 50 miles an hour as being the most economical, and in fact it probably is.
02:38Righty-ho, and then 50 miles an hour, it is.
02:50And it's not bad at 50 miles an hour.
02:53It's quite a firm ride, but sportily so.
02:56It's not unpleasant.
02:57That's not very economical.
02:59It's going quickly.
03:01Now, all right, the Saab does share a lot of its bits and pieces with the Vauxhall Vectra, but they
03:06have put their own engines in and their own suspension setup.
03:10It's not the sharpest feeling piece of kit, but you do get a solid premium car feel, and that's what
03:15it's about, and that's what it's got to be if it's going to compete with Audi, BMW and Mercedes, which
03:20is what they want it to do.
03:22The 2-litre T has a 2-litre engine and a turbo, and it's a light-pressure turbo, a very,
03:27very light pressure.
03:29So light, it's hardly there.
03:30Over about 3,500 revs, it goes, and that's it.
03:35I don't want light-pressure turbos.
03:36I want great, big, stonking, huge, heavy-handed turbos that throw you through the seat.
03:42But then, to do so would be very uneconomical and against our guidelines.
03:50Now, obviously, it's capable of far, far more.
03:53We could do speeds in excess of, ooh, well, we could certainly do 60, but that'd be crazy.
04:01But if you are going to let rip and explore speeds beyond 60, make sure you do it before you
04:07get to that great government invention, the bus lane.
04:15Here we go.
04:18Bus lane.
04:18But apparently as many as two buses an hour come along here, so, ooh, that's worth cordoning off 50%
04:26of the available road space permanently.
04:29Great thinking.
04:31It's funny, at a time when BMW have introduced their iDrive, the system on the Big 7 series where you
04:37get one big knob to control everything.
04:40It's not the driver.
04:41It's a big knob, literally, on the centre console.
04:43In here we've got an old-fashioned approach where we've got a button, a switch, a knob or a dial
04:48for everything.
04:49I've counted 98 separate controls in this car.
04:5498.
04:55And all those buttons give you control over an impressive array of toys.
04:59Air conditioning, car computer, cruise control and CD player, all fitted as standard.
05:05But our guidelines have something to say on that matter.
05:07They tell us that, unfortunately, all on-board electrical devices, particularly air conditioning, shouldn't be used unless absolutely necessary, because
05:16they waste precious fuel.
05:17So, unfortunately, handy that all of that stuff is, I'm going to make sure we don't use it and we
05:25stay friendly, because that's what the government tell us.
05:28That should do it.
05:29Shame, really.
05:31I'd have loved the air con.
05:33It's getting a bit muggy in there.
05:37In fact, it's pretty good value for money.
05:39At £21,500, it's over £2,000 cheaper than the nearest Mercedes or BMW.
05:46And you can sit and dream about how to spend all that money you've saved whilst you're stuck at the
05:51lights.
05:53And stationary.
05:56Now, I've followed the guidelines.
05:58I've switched my engine off.
05:59Which is great.
06:01Lovely.
06:01There's a rumour here in London that the mayor, Ken Livingstone, is actually rigging the traffic lights to cause maximum
06:08disruption.
06:09Of course, it is only a rumour.
06:11And his people deny it.
06:12They say that the traffic lights have been changed to avoid too much congestion in areas during times of roadworks.
06:18Well, that's everywhere.
06:19All the time, isn't it?
06:21Surely.
06:22They also deny that it's causing traffic chaos.
06:27What's this, then?
06:28They say that drivers will find alternative routes.
06:32Where?
06:33In the sky?
06:35Two minutes red.
06:36Eight seconds green.
06:38Nice.
06:39And we can just sit here at the traffic lights as our life ebbs slowly away.
06:52Well done.
06:53No whales were harmed in the making of that item.
06:56I want to make that absolutely plain.
06:57But you forgot to tell us what the car was like.
07:00Yeah, I did miss that bit out.
07:01Well, I can tell you what?
07:03Bus.
07:03Good Lord.
07:04No, that's a coach.
07:05A bus is a big smelly thing full of old ladies going to the post office.
07:10That's taking businessmen from Heathrow into London.
07:13Doesn't count.
07:14Doesn't count.
07:14Yeah, the car.
07:15It's just a bit bland.
07:16Old Saab's used to be quirky with wraparound windscreens and big slabs of dash and all of that.
07:21But this is just a car.
07:23It's got a clever engine, though.
07:25It's got a very clever engine.
07:26For instance, if you drive it through really heavily polluted cities, LA, Denver, places like that.
07:31Birmingham.
07:31Yeah, Birmingham as well.
07:33The stuff that comes out of the exhaust is actually less toxic than the air going in at the front.
07:39Really?
07:39Yeah, it's because the catalytic converter on a light pressure turbo like this is so clever and so efficient
07:44that all the muck coming out of all the cars around you in the traffic,
07:48it'll take out some of the bits and pieces from that.
07:50So, basically, if you turn this car's engine off at the lights, you're harming the environment.
07:56Yeah.
07:57It's very neglectful of you to do that, in fact, which is weird but strangely true.
08:01These government guidelines don't work, do they?
08:03Well, they don't work anyway.
08:04I mean, I was lucky not to be punched in the face by a van driver waiting to get away
08:07at those lights anyway.
08:08Which you missed.
08:09You missed your window.
08:10Well, yeah, you've got eight seconds green.
08:12Two minutes of red.
08:14You're like a sniper waiting for two days to take a shot.
08:17Oh, sorry.
08:18I missed it.
08:19Okay, well, look, let's forget about how to drive and let's concentrate on what to drive.
08:25We'll be doing that later in the programme, but for now, the news.
08:29This week, news from Daihatsu of the new Copen, which obviously stands for a coupe that opens.
08:36And this is the car of the future.
08:38A couple of weeks ago, we talked about the Smart Roadster.
08:40Yeah.
08:40Yeah, this as well, a little 660cc turbocharged engine, folding roof, a bit like the SLK.
08:46Yeah.
08:47The only problem I can see with it is they look like they're going to be about 14 grand if
08:50they import it.
08:5114?
08:5214.
08:52And the Smart was?
08:5312.
08:54Well, starting at 12.
08:55So this is 2 grand too much.
08:56So it's not decided yet whether they're going to import it.
08:58Well, I wouldn't bother.
08:59No.
09:00It's very ugly and too expensive.
09:01That's going to kill it.
09:02Now, um...
09:02Sort of that one out.
09:03Last week, there was a bit of an issue about Jeremy's Mercedes SL55 AMG.
09:09Which you stole.
09:10Yeah, we kind of did.
09:11Which you stole.
09:12And do you know what's really funny?
09:14Is we've had, I don't know how many emails, hundreds, from people saying that the car that
09:19was driven around the track by the Stig wasn't mine.
09:23It wasn't mine.
09:24The thing, no, really, the thing was when I drove it in the road test, I changed my plates.
09:29I put SL55 AMG on, so no one knows what my number plate is.
09:33Did you bother changing the plates?
09:37No, not really.
09:39You did steal my car.
09:40Yeah, pretty much.
09:41So if we can just clear that up.
09:42But there is more news here.
09:44If that's left you downhearted, this won't cheer you up at all, because now there's a better
09:48one.
09:49Brabus, German tuning house, you'll have heard of them probably.
09:51They brought out the K8.
09:53Basically, it's going to be about 75 brake horsepower, even more than before.
09:57It's tricked up with great wheels, and I mean, that, that is a big, mean car.
10:01Is that gay?
10:02Oh, no.
10:02Who thinks that's gay?
10:04That's still gay.
10:06Sorry, Jeremy.
10:06What's that going to cost, then?
10:07How much?
10:08It doesn't make any difference how much it's going to cost.
10:10It's gay.
10:12I want to talk about safety.
10:13I think a lot of people think that all cars are about the same.
10:17They all have to pass the same kind of tests, but actually they're not.
10:20There's an organization now called Euro NCAP, okay?
10:24And they test loads of cars and grade them.
10:27They're independent on our behalf.
10:29One, two, three, four, five stars.
10:30And so far, the only cars that have got five stars are the Renault Laguna and the Mercedes
10:35C-Class, okay?
10:37But they've just tested 18 more cars, and four of them have got five stars.
10:42And they are, this is important, you should know this, Mercedes E-Class, the Renault Velsatis,
10:47which we looked at last week, the Renault Megane, five stars for a Renault Megane, and the
10:54Saab 9-3, which you've been driving.
10:56That's true.
10:57So not only is it good for the environment, it cleans the air if you go through a mucky city.
11:01It's not just the air, that thing.
11:03That'll suck rabid bats in.
11:06Clean them up, nice and fluffy, shoot them out the back end and no rabies on them.
11:10Oh, lovely.
11:10The thing is, with those cars, I mean, if you looked at those cars, you wouldn't obviously
11:14think, would you, a Velsatis?
11:16Well, a Megane, you wouldn't look at a Renault Megane and think, is that safer than a Mercedes
11:19S-Class?
11:20They also test for pedestrian safety, you know, if you actually run into someone, and
11:24all of them do, either badly or very badly, or in the case of the Suzuki Grand Vitara,
11:30appallingly, it got no stars.
11:33So basically, right, if you find yourself in the middle of a dual carriageway, there are
11:36two cars coming towards you, you know you're going to be run over.
11:39However, if one of them's a Suzuki Grand Vitara, go for the other one.
11:44Um, and just being serious, if I may, for a moment, because, um, I never used to worry
11:51about safety at all, until I had kids.
11:53And, um, NCAP actually do test, if they put child seats in the back and test 18-month-old
11:59babies and three-year-olds to see how they survive and how well they're looked after if you have
12:04an accident. And I think most of the cars they've tested done very well, but the one
12:08they've picked out as being very good is the Subaru Legacy Outback.
12:14Wow.
12:15I mean, you look at that, it's not an obvious choice, is it?
12:18No.
12:18If you were thinking, I've got children now, I need to put them somewhere safe.
12:21You'd go Volvo or Mercedes or a big 4x4, but that is actually singled out with its, um,
12:26with its child seats as being very, very good in both side impacts and frontal ones.
12:31So there we are.
12:32Right. Has anybody seen about Transport Minister Alistair Darling, bless him, has been saying,
12:37what we need is a whole czar.
12:40A what?
12:40Because of all the holes in the road, it's because of all the disorganization.
12:43There were, I think it was in London, on the Strand, about 160 holes in the road in 12 months.
12:49Twelve months, yeah.
12:49Then they organize it, and as a result, traffic congestion, chaos.
12:52Well, it's funny that comes in the same week that we've heard,
12:55that the average car journey, the average journey by car, is now 16% slower.
13:00It's taking people 16% longer to make the same journeys in their cars.
13:04Than it was four years ago.
13:05Yeah. And I don't think that's a big surprise.
13:07No, no, it isn't. I mean, the school run I have to do, not in London,
13:09it's from outside Oxford into the center of Oxford, most car-friendly city in Britain.
13:16Well, okay, second most car-friendly. That's now 18 miles an hour and a half.
13:20The point being, and the interesting point being, how much do you think the traffic has increased by the volume
13:26of traffic to achieve that?
13:27So journeys, 16% longer, traffic increased by what you reckon.
13:30How many more cars do you think there are on the roads?
13:32Give me a percentage.
13:32Two.
13:33Two percent more?
13:35Or two cars?
13:36You fool!
13:37I wouldn't do it.
13:38You're wrong.
13:39No.
13:39Shall we say how many more?
13:40I'm going to tell you.
13:41None.
13:41It's exactly the same.
13:42And yet journey times are that much slower.
13:44And that's because of all the stuff we've...
13:46That's why they, that guy would have been doing 70 in that lane.
13:50Now he's having to do 40 because of that.
13:53Ooh, there's something coming.
13:54Hello.
13:55It's a taxi and another taxi and another taxi.
13:59That's three people all right.
14:00Coming in from Heathrow.
14:01This is the problem.
14:01And now, have you seen the latest scam they've got with bus stops?
14:04You know, there used to be a lay-by the bus pulled into, okay, so that the old ladies could
14:08get on.
14:09Yeah.
14:09Well, now they're building bus stops out into the road.
14:13Why?
14:14This is the latest idea because bus drivers were saying that no one was letting them out.
14:20So now we have to wait while she did it.
14:23Oh, I've got me tartan.
14:24Stop being trolley.
14:25Oh, no.
14:27Anyway, before I...
14:29What?
14:30Do I travel a lot?
14:31What do you think?
14:35I went on a bus once.
14:38I was eight.
14:39It's hideous.
14:40Anyway, there's been a lot of talk just recently in America about what Jesus would have driven.
14:46We're not interested in that, actually.
14:48Not even slightly.
14:49What we're interested in is finding the fastest religion around our track.
14:55So, we'll look at what we've got here.
14:59You, sir, are from the...
15:01Catholic Church.
15:01Catholic Church and you're...
15:03Father Simon Thompson.
15:04Right.
15:04Now, what do you drive?
15:05Uh, Sierra Leone.
15:07A turbo-charged Sierra Leone.
15:09Well, we could for a turbo, yeah.
15:10Yeah.
15:11And you've had it chipped.
15:12Well, I've got the touch-up paint.
15:14Yeah.
15:14No, you've had it chipped from 180 to 206 brake horsepower.
15:19One fast priest, I would say.
15:22Now, you, sir, I'm guessing, Rabbi?
15:25Correct.
15:26Rabbi?
15:27Pinny Dunner.
15:28Pinny Dunner.
15:28Great name.
15:29Pinny Dunner.
15:30And what do you drive?
15:31I drive a Vectra.
15:32I'm sorry.
15:36You did know what we were planning on doing here.
15:40I did.
15:41Um, any crashes?
15:43A few.
15:44Talk us through them.
15:46I've turned over a Honda.
15:49I've crashed a two CV.
15:52I've backed out of my drive into somebody's car.
15:56Um, that's just three that I can think of offhand.
15:58But I've, I've crashed a few more times.
16:00And what we've learned is that you've never had a good car, actually, from that little lot.
16:04Now, standing alongside you is, uh, Ngaka Lama Riggsin Taklong Rol Pai George.
16:12I had no idea you were so fluent in Tibetan.
16:15That's quite amazing.
16:16What is your email address with that?
16:19Can I call you Riggsin?
16:21Oh, please, yes.
16:22Fine.
16:22Now, you're Buddhist.
16:24Good.
16:25Yes.
16:26Good.
16:26And you drive a?
16:27Renault Scenic.
16:28Renault Scenic.
16:29You had any accidents?
16:32I, I may be the only person to have written off a car in a motorway service area.
16:38Really?
16:40How did you manage that?
16:41Well, I got a bit disorientated.
16:43I only stopped for a pee and I, I walked through the door with the picture of the man wearing
16:49a skirt.
16:52That's true.
16:53And, uh, leaving in a hurry, I was still kind of revolving this incident in my mind.
16:58And I met with one of those, you know, rogue lampposts that you do occasionally.
17:02In the thing.
17:03Well, how annoying is that?
17:05So now we move on to the Reverend Anthony Feltham White, representing the...
17:12Church of England.
17:13Church of England.
17:14Now, actually, you are a bit of a dark horse here, aren't you?
17:16Um, not exactly. No, I wouldn't say so.
17:19But you actually race cars?
17:21Only some three or four times a year, yes.
17:24It's still racing.
17:25What's it called?
17:26You're racing?
17:26Revelation racing.
17:28Glorifying God through competition in motorsport.
17:30Absolutely. Absolutely.
17:32Well, good on you.
17:33Now, I know that is already someone from the Church of England, but we couldn't resist it when,
17:36at the last minute, we were contacted by a...
17:40Bishop.
17:40A bishop.
17:41I mean, we had to say yes.
17:43When Bish rings, you go, well, we've got to have you on board.
17:46So you're right, Reverend Wallace Ben, from?
17:49From, I live in Eastbourne, but I'm the Bishop of Lewis, which is East Sussex.
17:53Bishop of Lewis.
17:53Okay.
17:54Now, member of the Institute of Advanced Motorists.
17:57Yeah.
17:57This isn't going to help.
17:59No, no, no.
18:01Shuffling your arms around won't help here, okay?
18:04It has to be all that, okay?
18:06Now, the thing is, they've already been around the track, along with a guy from the Hare Krishna,
18:09but sadly, he can't be here today.
18:12No, same.
18:13And nor, as you probably noticed, have we got a Muslim, and that's because it's Ramadan.
18:16But when Ramadan's over, do please get in touch.
18:18We'd love to put you in the same sort of car, same track, see how you get on.
18:22Anyway, we'll be seeing how you guys get on a little bit later.
18:27And, you know, I really can't wait for that, but let's get back to the environment for a bit
18:30and talk about diesel.
18:32Now, we don't blame anybody for buying a diesel engine car.
18:35Okay, so the fuel might cost about the same as petrol, but you'll get much better economy.
18:40And the engines themselves have come on a very long way.
18:43For instance, the TDCi diesel engine in this Ford Focus.
18:47Great.
18:47It's a really good, usable, everyday car, and it's a diesel.
18:50Need something bigger?
18:51BMW 5 Series.
18:52The 3-litre diesel engine in there.
18:54I kid you not.
18:55At 90 mile an hour, you'd never know it was a diesel.
18:58Need something even bigger?
19:00Completely clueless about contraception and want a people carrier.
19:02The new Citroën C8.
19:04It's great.
19:05It's got a really cool and funky interior.
19:07It's very clever.
19:08It's very big and spacious.
19:09Are you coming for in there, guys?
19:11Yeah.
19:11Oh, good.
19:12But the most interesting thing about this is
19:14Top Gear hasn't been renowned for its love of diesels over the years.
19:18And yet the version of this, the C8 that we'd advise you to go for,
19:22is the diesel engine one.
19:24So three very different cars with very different purposes,
19:27but all diesels and all very good.
19:29So what's next for diesel?
19:35This is the Peugeot RC, possibly the world's first proper diesel sports car.
19:41And since there's only one in existence,
19:44Peugeot were a little nervous about the Stig having a play.
19:48So they sent down their own man, Richard Burns.
19:55The RC has all the sports car credentials.
19:59Carbon fiber body, mid-mounted engine, a six-speed sequential gearbox,
20:03a 0-60 time of six seconds.
20:06And yet Peugeot still claim that it'll do 57 miles to the gallon.
20:10So could you, would you, would you take the leap and have a diesel sports car?
20:17Would I buy a diesel car?
20:19No. And I can explain why.
20:21Volkswagen Golf, okay?
20:23Petrol engine, European chic, goes into my cool wall,
20:27which we introduced last week in the cool section.
20:31Volkswagen Golf, diesel.
20:33Identical car except for the engine, where does it go?
20:37Uncool, because it marks you out as a cheapskate.
20:42Here we go, the Saab we looked at earlier.
20:44Now, Saabs, I know they've gone all conventional,
20:46I know it runs on a Vauxhall Vectra platform, and yet somehow telling people you've got a Saab.
20:51Quite cool.
20:52So it goes there and...
20:55Oh, I'm sorry, I don't think I've explained.
20:57This isn't debate.
20:59I tell you where things go.
21:02I am the judge here.
21:03Unless, of course, it's got a diesel engine, which Saab are now doing, in which case it goes there.
21:08Happy now?
21:09Yes.
21:10I have to say, actually, this cool wall has caused an absolute furor.
21:14We have had 20,000 emails about it.
21:1720,000.
21:18And all day long, all the people here have been going,
21:20Oh, what did you put that there for?
21:22And I've got a microphone here, so we can hit people with it.
21:26You, what do you want moving?
21:28The MX-5 and the MG-TF.
21:30You want to switch an MX-5 with a...
21:33The MG-TF.
21:39Down into the uncool, on the basis of build quality, and it's not value for money.
21:44It's too much Ford.
21:45You are such an idiot.
21:49This is the coolest car.
21:54I perhaps haven't explained how the cool thing works.
21:58It's got nothing to do with build quality.
22:01Absolutely nothing to do with it.
22:03All looks, or anything, or how they are to drive.
22:07All that matters is, are they cool?
22:09And the way you can judge it is this, okay?
22:11You've got to take Kristin Scott Thomas out for dinner.
22:15Cool girl, yes?
22:16We all have never heard of her, have you?
22:18Anyway, she's the coolest actress there is.
22:21You turn up in something like that, Ferrari 360.
22:25She's going to think you're a berk.
22:28You turn up in that, she's going to leave her husband.
22:34That's how cool works.
22:35Who was complaining about the Ford Ka?
22:38You were.
22:39Why were you complaining about the Ford Ka?
22:41It's just good.
22:42There's nothing you can say about it apart from looking at it.
22:44It's a good car.
22:45You've turned up with 86 earrings, and you're telling us that's a brilliant car.
22:49My case rests.
22:51Oh, he's looking angry.
22:53I mean, I like earrings, you know?
22:55I drive an SL, okay?
22:57I'm gay, as it turns out.
23:01Anyway, where was I?
23:02I completely forgot.
23:03Oh, diesels.
23:04The point is that if you have a diesel, it marks you out as being mean, and that's why they're
23:10in uncool.
23:11The end.
23:12I feel better for that, dear.
23:13Yeah, I had a bit of a moment.
23:14I really have to.
23:15Don't upset the bloke in the earrings.
23:17No, I don't.
23:17It's fine.
23:17You carry on, but just be careful of it.
23:19I'll just go that way.
23:20So we're saying diesel's uncool.
23:21They're down this end of the board.
23:22All right, next thing could be electric cars.
23:25Now, billions and billions of pounds are spent in America by organizations,
23:29including the government, on developing electric cars.
23:32And this, the Ford Think, is the best they can come up with.
23:38And frankly, you're better off doing a Guardian thing and jogging to work.
23:42Let me show you why.
23:44Now, here's the Think with the Stig at the wheel.
23:48Listen to the throbbing silence of that electric motor.
23:51Glorious.
23:52For comparison, we've lined it up against something equally sprightly, Jason.
24:01And they're off.
24:03Now, the Think can do 0 to 30 in seven seconds.
24:07But you can have problems, particularly if you use the electrical stuff.
24:11Things like the stereo.
24:14He's leaving.
24:18Now, Jason by now is way behind, but look what's happening.
24:21It's running out of steam.
24:27Oh, my word, it's stopped.
24:29And the giant Galapagos tortoises pass and across the line.
24:34Would you drive an electric car then, Jeremy?
24:37No, I don't want to drive around in an appliance.
24:39It's as simple as that.
24:40And I'll tell you something else about electric cars, okay?
24:43You have to charge them up at night, okay?
24:46How many people park outside their houses?
24:50You have to park three straight.
24:51You do.
24:52Well, well done you.
24:53There's one man who park outside his house.
24:56But for the rest of us, you park three streets away.
24:59And even if you can park outside your house, there's just going to be flex.
25:02You'd be walking down the pavement like this over all the flexes.
25:05They're stupid.
25:07Maybe not the best, but there might be a solution.
25:09And as is often the case, it's a compromise.
25:11And it's a hybrid car.
25:12It's the Toyota Prius.
25:13The clever thing is, and the reason it's a compromise, it's got two engines.
25:17There's a 1.3 litre petrol and an electric motor.
25:20And the way it works is, it runs on the electric motor at slow speeds.
25:24And then when it needs more power, all the motor runs out of charge.
25:27The engine, the petrol engine, fires up and that puts the charge into the electric one.
25:32So, you don't have to plug it in.
25:34Brilliant.
25:34And not just brilliant.
25:36I've got a list here of the people who are driving this car.
25:41Not a made-up list.
25:42This is for real.
25:43Cameron Dears has one of these cars.
25:47Leonardo DiCaprio.
25:49Donny Osmond.
25:50We'll skip over that.
25:51Alicia Silverstone.
25:52Jane Fonda.
25:53Jeff Goldblum.
25:54Billy Joel.
25:55We'll move over that one.
25:56Ted Danson.
25:56Dennis Weaver.
25:58David Duchovny.
25:59John Kettley.
26:00The list goes on and on forever.
26:02And yet, despite that, despite the incredible patronage,
26:08I don't know, where do we put it?
26:09Uncool.
26:10Uncool?
26:11I'm thinking not uncool.
26:13I'm thinking not even seriously uncool.
26:16I'm thinking further down here.
26:19I'm thinking way out of the lit part of the basin in the deep, dark recesses of hell.
26:26But do you know what, Jeremy?
26:28Despite what the government say, despite what the environmentalists say,
26:31it's not diesels and electric-powered cars that are going to excite the drivers of the future.
26:36I went to a couple of schools to see which cars the kids of today want to drive.
26:40And when I got in the classroom, they weren't drawing a Prius.
26:45So to find out if kids still love supercars like they've always done,
26:48I lined up some break time treats, a Ferrari 360, a Pagani Zonda,
26:54a Nissan Skyline R34 GT-R, and finally, a TVR Tuscan.
27:07Look at this one first, the red one, okay?
27:12Ferrari, right.
27:13Who did I say drives one of these?
27:16Michael Schumacher, David Beckham, and they're made in what country?
27:20Italy.
27:21Italy, okay.
27:22Do you want to do some spellings?
27:26So, should we look at the cars instead?
27:28Yeah!
27:30Okay, can you maybe guess how much money one of these would cost?
27:33£7.50.
27:35£7.50.
27:36Right, a little bit more than that.
27:38Good guess though.
27:39This would cost about the same amount as a house.
27:42This costs £110,000, which is like loads and loads of pocket money.
27:47Right, anybody know what kind of car this is?
27:50GT-R, yeah.
27:51It's a Nissan Skyline.
27:53It's a GT-R.
27:53Now, these aren't made in Italy.
27:55These are made in, anybody know?
28:00Crocra.
28:01Crocra, not heard of that place.
28:03I heard someone say the name of this one.
28:05What's this one called?
28:07TVR.
28:08And do you know where these are made?
28:10Cyprus.
28:11Cyprus.
28:11They make them here.
28:12This car is made in a place called Blackpool.
28:16You want to hear it?
28:16Yeah.
28:17All right then.
28:19Ready?
28:19Cyprus.
28:25Wow.
28:27This car will do 220 miles an hour.
28:32This is actually called, it's a funny name, it's called a Zonda.
28:35How many houses do you think you could buy?
28:41Three houses.
28:43This car costs £300,000.
28:46Three, two, one.
28:59One car that I'd like to show you before you decide.
29:03Yeah, if you look behind you.
29:08Here it is, the old stager.
29:10The undefeated champion of the bedroom wall posters.
29:15The Lamborghini Countach.
29:17Oh!
29:19Oh!
29:20Oh!
29:23Put your hand up if you think that the red Ferrari...
29:26When the kids had covered every inch of the paintwork in fingerprints,
29:29it was time for the vote.
29:31All right, hands up for the TVR.
29:32Who likes TVR most?
29:33In fifth place was the Nissan with five points.
29:36Fourth place was the TVR with 11 points.
29:41Third place was the Ferrari.
29:43Second place was the Zonda with 16 points.
29:45The Zonda with second.
29:47The winner is the Lamborghini with 41 points.
29:50Yeah!
29:50And the Lamborghini!
29:55Excellent.
29:56So, Jason, did any of those children go on about the environment at all?
30:00Uh, no.
30:01You see, the thing is, when we arrived and we put those cars on the playground,
30:04where you saw it, they came out of the classrooms and their eyes were like saucers.
30:08When we started it up, I mean, it was just, they just went to another place.
30:12Fantastic.
30:12And the strange thing was, it was the Countach.
30:14It was the oldest, the dirtiest car of the lot that fired them up the most.
30:18Which could be bad news for the future, but not necessarily, because there is a way that
30:21any petrol car, the Countach, anything, can be converted to be more environmentally friendly.
30:26We're going to demonstrate with this.
30:28It's a Bristol clinking great V8 engine car, but it has been converted to run on LPG,
30:34that's gas, which is good news for the environment.
30:36It's cleaner burning, and it's actually cheaper too, and it doesn't cost a fortune to do it either.
30:40No, you can convert pretty much any petrol engine for about £1,500.
30:44And the thing is, the gas is so much cheaper.
30:46When you've done about 20,000 miles, you'll have recouped the money you've actually spent
30:50on the conversion.
30:51Great, so we all win.
30:52Us, the environment, everybody's happy.
30:54But there is a problem.
30:55The gas is only so cheap because the government has frozen the tax on it to keep it cheap.
31:00So whether or not to convert your car to run on gas depends on one thing.
31:04Do you trust the government?
31:07Now, I'll tell you what.
31:09The funniest thing for me about the government is they recently decided
31:13to judge how much company car tax you pay on how much carbon dioxide comes out of the back.
31:20What a stupid thing.
31:21It's not a killer gas.
31:23Look, we've got this chart here, OK?
31:24And this shows where carbon dioxide comes from.
31:2895.5% comes from nature.
31:33Do they go around taxing farmers for their flocks of cows?
31:37Do they tax Mount Etna every time it blows up?
31:40It's ridiculous.
31:41Only this little orange sliver here comes from man.
31:44And of that, 34% from power stations.
31:48People charging up their electric cars.
31:50And then you've got 14% from domestic use.
31:55Potterton's boilers.
31:56Tax them out of business.
31:58Look what they're doing.
31:58Because only 13% of that little tiny bit there comes from cars.
32:05Ridiculous.
32:06But we have the rules and it's our job on Top Gear to show you a way round them.
32:14And that's where this comes in, OK?
32:17Lotus Elise.
32:18Now, this does 40 miles to the gallon.
32:2140.
32:22It's in the same tax bracket as a Ford Fiesta.
32:27It is.
32:29So, it obeys the letter of the law perfectly.
32:33But the spirit?
32:35No.
32:36Not even slightly.
32:49This, of course, is the new Elise, which you can have with a normal 1.8-litre engine that's easy
32:55to tune and tinker with.
32:56But this version, the 111S, has a sealed for life 1.8 with all sorts of complicated trickery like variable
33:04valve timing.
33:05It offers up 156bhp, 0-60 in 5 seconds, and a top speed of 132.
33:22So, how come then, it's so economical and so kind to the environment?
33:29How does it do that, hmm?
33:31Now?
33:32The key is weight.
33:35This car weighs less than the driver, so it doesn't need much fuel to move it around.
33:40Put it like this.
33:41You don't need a rocket motor to move a souffle.
33:47Lotus never fitted the older Elise with electric windows.
33:50Not because they were too expensive, but because the motors were too heavy.
33:55And they never fitted carpets either, and yet this one.
33:58This one has the full Wilton, and air conditioning, and a CD player, and leather.
34:04So, does this mean, then, that Lotus has sold out a bit?
34:15Now, see these new wheels that they've fitted?
34:20Delicate, aren't they?
34:21Delicate and light.
34:23Specifically, six kilograms lighter than they used to be on the old car.
34:28So, even with all the new luxuries, the whole car in total only weighs 760 kilograms.
34:34That's about the same as a Mercedes headrest.
34:37And with the extra power in the boot, it should be even more fun to drive.
34:43Great!
34:50The older Elise was described by many as the best handling car in the world.
34:55And initially, this doesn't disappoint either.
34:58Oh, this steering is still just as good as ever.
35:03It's so delicate and so much feel.
35:07You could run over an insect and know just from the messages coming through the wheel how many legs it
35:13had.
35:14Was it a beetle?
35:15Was it a spider?
35:16Hang on.
35:18Spider.
35:20So, what about the handling?
35:24Oh, understeer.
35:26Big understeer.
35:30Now, I know the older Elise was very twitchy.
35:33And some people were scared by that.
35:36So, they fitted narrower tyres on this one to reduce front-end grip.
35:42But I don't think they've reduced it.
35:44They've completely removed it.
35:45Here we are, coming up to the hammerhead now.
35:48Okay, turning no power.
35:49And, oh, Lord.
35:52Have you ever seen understeer like this?
35:57Oh, dear.
36:03Slide, slide, slide.
36:05And if you do go mad and kick the rear end out, you end up facing the way you came.
36:12In a cloud of smoke.
36:21So, on the evidence of what we've seen so far, not a particularly good car.
36:26But this, this is Gavin Kershaw.
36:28He's from Lotus.
36:29And he says, there's nothing wrong with the car.
36:32The problem was my driving.
36:34So, he offered to take me out on our track and show me how it should be done.
36:42So, you're the chief chassis man at Lotus?
36:46One of the principal chassis engineers, yeah.
36:48And you live in Norfolk?
36:49Yeah.
36:50So, you've got a girlfriend?
36:51I have a girlfriend.
36:52How many wheels has she got?
36:54Good.
36:56Yeah.
36:57Well, I was going to say, how many legs has she got?
36:59Same surname.
37:01That would have been good.
37:03Well, I couldn't make it do that.
37:12How are you doing it?
37:13Why doesn't it just understeer?
37:15You have to be very gentle with it and just apply physics.
37:18So, we're coming down this corner braking on the brakes and then just flick it in and then lift and
37:24flick it in.
37:26Oh, God.
37:29Enough flat out through here.
37:34Why have you made it more understeery than the older Lees?
37:39Because we're selling 3,000 cars, we have to cater for all drivers.
37:43We would make the chassis.
37:45So, if you don't know how to drive, you can just play with it.
37:50I could vomit on you now, actually.
37:52I'm really considering vomiting on you.
37:57I could go off people.
38:03I was really quite impressed and actually quite depressed at how I couldn't do that and how you can.
38:10Oh, we're going to have a head corner again.
38:14Oversteer in.
38:16Oversteer in the second one.
38:20It's so close to the tyres, man.
38:23Can we go home now?
38:25It's not big and it's not clever to drive like that, is it?
38:28Are you impressed, girls, with driving like that?
38:30You are, all right.
38:31Well, move to Norfolk then.
38:32They all do that.
38:34The thing is, though, I don't live in Norfolk.
38:37I have a life.
38:38So, how do I kill the understeer if I were to buy a car like that?
38:43We can supply optional, bigger front tyres, so even you won't get understeer.
38:46Really? You can buy, you'll sell me big tyres?
38:49That will solve it?
38:49Yep.
38:50Brilliant.
38:51So, all we need to do now is see how fast it goes around our track.
38:56Unleash the Stig.
38:59And he's off.
39:00Of course, for the Stig, oversteer and understeer are not really the issue.
39:04To get the best time, he needs to keep it nice and tidy.
39:09And here we are into the first corner.
39:11Look at that.
39:12Even in the wet, it's smoother silk.
39:19Look at him.
39:20Really enjoying the Elise's stereo here.
39:25So, here he is at the Hammerhead.
39:27This corner was designed by Lotus, so the Elise should be good through here.
39:31And it is.
39:31None of the slithering about we had from the Honda NSX last week.
39:43You know, this car is on for a seriously fast time.
39:48I mean, really fast.
39:51And look at the Stig, he's hardly having to work at that wheel.
39:54It's all so easy.
39:56If you know what you're doing, this is such a well-balanced car.
40:02So, for the fifth week on the trot, the Stig had to go around in the rain.
40:06But the time he set was astonishing.
40:08One minute, 35 seconds.
40:12That's the same as a Ferrari 575.
40:15And it only has a 1.8-litre engine.
40:18However, let's not get carried away.
40:21It is not the most environmentally friendly car that money can buy.
40:26Because that is.
40:28Jason, Richard, do the honours.
40:32This is a Peugeot 607.
40:36And the reason why it's so green is simple.
40:40It's awful.
40:41It's dreadful.
40:42If you bought one of these, I guarantee you'd never drive it anywhere.
40:49Right.
40:50Now it's time to put a star in our reasonably priced car.
40:54He has been on top of the pops 105 times.
40:57But now, he's on top of the gear.
41:00Ladies and gentlemen, from status quo, Rick Parfitt.
41:10That's not right.
41:12Have a seat.
41:17Now, you're not the ideal guest to have on an environmental week, I have to be honest.
41:21No, not really, no.
41:22We went through some of your singles and hits over the years in the office last night.
41:27We didn't find a single environmental lyric in any of them.
41:29No, none at all.
41:30No, it's just about love and stuff like that and kissing and all that sort of dopey stuff, you know.
41:34Yeah, well, and it sells.
41:36It certainly does, yeah.
41:38New album.
41:39Yep.
41:40Heavy traffic.
41:41Yeah.
41:41Inspired by this, perhaps?
41:43Aptly named, isn't it?
41:44Yeah.
41:45No, it really wasn't inspired by anything, really.
41:47But, I mean, this is unbelievable, isn't it?
41:49I mean, when it first went in, I remember thinking, you know, because it's a bottleneck anyway, isn't it?
41:55Going into Heathrow.
41:57Yeah, Europe's biggest city.
41:58And to put that in there, to take a lane away from us, I think it's disgraceful.
42:03Of course, this is the M4.
42:04You've had some bad times on the M4, haven't you?
42:06Me?
42:06Yeah.
42:07Ooh, yeah.
42:08I had a bit of a shunt on the M3, actually, it was, yeah.
42:10It was the M3.
42:11Yeah, and it kind of changed my whole view about driving, you know.
42:15I kind of became sensible after that, and I kind of stick to the speed limit and stuff.
42:19Now I'm a bit boring, you know.
42:20Really?
42:20It's like a cup of tea after a concert.
42:22We have a cup of tea and go to bed, you know, it's real rock and roll.
42:26But I do, I feel these days, you know, a license is a precious thing, and it certainly is to
42:31me,
42:32and I know it is to a lot of other people.
42:34And, you know, I really don't want to lose it anymore.
42:37Because you lost it three times.
42:39Three times.
42:39Yeah, and in great circumstances, you know.
42:42Really, were they?
42:43Well, the last one certainly was, yeah.
42:45I was sort of doing an estimated 120 miles an hour down the M3.
42:50I don't know what speed I was going, because I was actually asleep.
42:56Is that when you stuffed it?
42:58Yeah, yeah.
42:58I was very lucky.
42:59I think, had it been in anything lesser than a Porsche, I think, I probably wouldn't have
43:04been sitting here now, but I was very lucky.
43:06It kind of spun.
43:07It was like four o'clock in the morning, and so fortunately, nobody else was around,
43:11and nobody else was involved.
43:13But I ended up in a field, and just sat there merrily sleeping, you know.
43:17I didn't wake up at all.
43:20So what was it that first turned you on to Porsches?
43:23Well, I had a Mini, a Cooper S in the early days, which was one of my all-time favorite
43:28cars, and still is, you know, with the twin tanks.
43:30I'm really rather brought down, actually, with the new one, with the new Cooper S, that
43:33it hasn't got the twin tanks.
43:34I don't know, like Jags should have twin tanks.
43:36Well, I agree, a common tank, yeah, it would be great.
43:38However, I was sitting on the lights on the A3, when the A3 used to have lights, and it's
43:43a complete straight piece of road.
43:45And the Cooper S, I'd had it kind of bored out and shaved, and the Recaro racing seat,
43:51the straight through, you know, it was a real tool.
43:54So this thing pulls up beside me this night, and I'm really, you know, looking forward to
43:57this burn away from the lights.
43:59And this thing just went away from me, and I had no idea what it was.
44:02And I later found out, I caught it up at the next set of lights, and it was a Porsche,
44:06and I thought, got to have one.
44:07And luckily enough, I've been in the position where I could afford a Porsche.
44:11And so I got one, and I had 10, 11 of them since then.
44:1611 Porsches?
44:17Yeah.
44:17You're still on them now?
44:18No, I'm not, because since I had the accident, my mum, bless her, she's passed away now,
44:24but she said, for Christ sake, don't buy another Porsche.
44:27And I haven't.
44:28I've never had another one.
44:29I've never driven another one.
44:31Seven, eight years now since I've driven a Porsche.
44:33Didn't she ever say, why don't you give up the booze and the drugs?
44:37Probably that was causing the accident more than the car.
44:42Just a thought.
44:43She was a sensible woman, my mum.
44:46Anyway, of course, the reason you're here is this.
44:50This is our Suzuki lap times.
44:52Yeah.
44:52You've been out there, you've had a go.
44:53How did it go?
44:54Well, I mean, it was great fun, actually, you know.
44:58Would you like to see how you did?
45:02Yeah, I would.
45:03Okay, everyone, here we go.
45:04Play the tape.
45:05Rick Parfitt in a reasonably priced car for the first time in 30 years.
45:10And you're off.
45:11It's a dry track.
45:12It started out dry.
45:14It started out dry.
45:15How is this coming up to the...
45:16Lights on.
45:18Smooth.
45:19Oh, what was that?
45:20What was it?
45:20What was that noise I just heard from...
45:22You broke our...
45:23Ooh.
45:24I probably broke wind.
45:27What are those gloves you've got on, man?
45:30They've got Jason King holes in the knuckles.
45:33I know.
45:34And they're from Harrods.
45:38Well, here we go.
45:39Across the line after this corner.
45:42Ooh, quite sprightly.
45:43It felt so much faster than that when you're in the car.
45:46I mean...
45:47That was quite fast.
45:48It felt so fast.
45:49I've got the time.
45:50It felt so fast.
46:04I'm quite nervous about this.
46:06Ready?
46:08Rick P, because we're not going to get it on.
46:11One minute.
46:12Oh, at least I'm in the one.
46:1552 seconds, everybody.
46:25He's not going to be happy.
46:27That's great.
46:28He's not going to be happy, isn't Coogan.
46:30I'm very pleased.
46:31But the thing is, everybody, it wasn't an entirely incident-free time you had out there, was it?
46:37Not entirely, no.
46:38Who would like to see what happened?
46:41Okay, can we play that?
46:43Let's watch Rick coming through the second to last corner and...
46:47Oh, no.
46:48Beautiful.
46:50Oh, no, there's more.
46:52Back on.
46:58Across the line, sideways.
47:01Beautifully done.
47:01I did actually see one of the camera crews when we were out on the far side of the track.
47:05And I think it was on the fastest lap I did.
47:08And as I'm approaching, you could literally see them sort of going like that.
47:12Whoa.
47:12The extraordinary thing is, is that nearly every celebrity has been off on that corner.
47:17And the crews have now learned.
47:18Yeah.
47:19The director goes, can you cover that corner?
47:21No.
47:22Who's coming this way?
47:23Rick Parfitt.
47:24No.
47:25Definitely not.
47:26Definitely not.
47:27Ladies and gentlemen, Rick Parfitt.
47:34This week's insider trading news.
47:37Now, a couple of weeks ago, we promised that you would be getting some cracking deals on new cars.
47:41Now, you remember, we talked about the Suzuki Liana, not 9995.
47:45A dealer emailed us, said it was 7995.
47:47The fight is on.
47:49This week, I was emailed by another dealer, Fiat Stilo.
47:53The 1.6 Acti, five-door car.
47:55That car normally is 11,700 quid.
47:58Have a guess what they're offering that car at.
47:59I've no idea.
48:01Ten and a half.
48:037995.
48:04That's an insanely reasonable price card.
48:05That's four grand off.
48:06That's a big save.
48:07Now, quick question.
48:08You know this.
48:08What's the cheapest new car you can buy?
48:10Well, Jason, it's the Peridua Calisa at 4999.
48:14No.
48:15Wrong.
48:15Oh.
48:16This week, I was offered a brand new Ford car.
48:19Yeah.
48:20For 4995.
48:21That's fantastically cheap.
48:23Yeah.
48:23So that's like four quid cheaper.
48:27Yeah, but that car new normally is 6,600 quid.
48:29And when they brought the car out in, when was it, three or four years ago, it was eight
48:32grand.
48:33Didn't have power steering.
48:34That car now is 4995.
48:36Why?
48:36Well, basically, we said it before.
48:38The dealers have got targets to hit.
48:39And the way it works with Ford is that they give a retrospective bonus.
48:43They give you a percentage on all the cars you've sold.
48:45Oh, right.
48:45Now, if a dealer's got a target of 1,000 cars, they could stand to lose tens of thousands
48:50of pounds if they don't get that target.
48:52If they don't sell all of those cars.
48:53If they don't sell all of those cars, they're going to miss tens, it could be 100,000 pounds.
48:56So the last few.
48:57Yeah.
48:58Sell them at a loss.
48:59They're actually selling those cars at a loss.
49:00Now, the minute they hit those targets, fine.
49:02They won't care anymore.
49:03And they'll put them back up.
49:044995.
49:05That is seriously cheap.
49:06But I've got an even bigger discount this week.
49:09Isuzu Trooper.
49:10Big car.
49:10They're bringing some new ones out next year.
49:11And they've also got a few of the old ones in stock.
49:15Now, those cars need to be registered before the end of this year because they don't hit
49:18the emissions targets for next year.
49:20So they're what?
49:21Literally couldn't register them in this country?
49:22Exactly.
49:23They'd have to send them back.
49:24Send them back to the factory.
49:25Bargain around the corner.
49:263.5 V6.
49:27Citation.
49:28Proper car.
49:287 seats.
49:30Metallica and a towbar.
49:30I'm selling it to you now.
49:32That car normally is £27,000.
49:35Yes.
49:36£18,995.
49:37Good grief.
49:37That's enormous.
49:38Brand new out the box.
49:39And that's because the dealers are stuck.
49:41They are.
49:41Same thing.
49:41There aren't that many of them around.
49:43But if you go into a dealer and find one of the current models, register it for the
49:46end of the year, you will get a storming deal on it.
49:49Right.
49:49Well, earlier on, Jeremy introduced us to our various men of faith.
49:53And this is it.
49:55Now it's time to find out just which is the fastest faith.
50:04It had been raining, but now the sun had come out, which you'd kind of expected to with
50:09this lot around.
50:10And the track was drying.
50:12And that was a good thing.
50:14Because this was the car they'd be driving.
50:24The car, well, it's based on a Subaru STI, but then there's a little bit more to it.
50:30It's been modified.
50:32It's got a performance engine, suspension, exhaust, the whole lot, really.
50:37Over 330 brake horsepower, 0-60 in four and a half seconds.
50:42It's brutal.
50:43This is a proper rally car.
50:44They're going to enjoy this.
50:49But only after they'd received guidance from the Prince of Darkness himself, the Stig.
50:56First to go for the Hare Krishnas was Mark Lee.
51:00Three, two, one, go!
51:04And he gave it everything.
51:06Oh, yes!
51:08What a lad!
51:09Now, that's surprisingly aggressive.
51:13He's a little bit nervous because it's a powerful move.
51:15It's a powerful car.
51:16It is.
51:16But hopefully, in the back of his mind, he'll be kind of calm.
51:19Right.
51:20Well, let's give him that support.
51:21Absolutely.
51:21I can't believe you came in a group.
51:23That's great.
51:30Although he's going well, this is some pretty committed driving.
51:34I just wanted to make this corner.
51:37Yeah, he did it.
51:39Oh!
51:40Oh, my word!
51:41He's got...
51:44Oh, my word!
51:45Oh, my word!
51:46He's got...
51:48...B***!
51:49What?
51:50It's just...
51:51Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
51:52Nothing looks like it.
51:54Ha, ha, ha, ha!
51:55Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
51:56Well, it's just done.
51:57Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
52:00Next up, Rabbi Pini Dunnup, the 2CV crasher.
52:12Due to the Rabbi's lack of experience,
52:14the Stig had offered to act as co-driver on his timed lap.
52:26But the collective goodwill of all the religions wasn't enough to keep him on the racing line of righteousness.
52:41So could Riggsian, the Vajrayana Buddhist, do better?
52:45I should make it clear that I have never done anything like this in my life, ever.
53:02His elders had instructed him to drive at the speed of light, and he was taking them quite literally.
53:11Even the Zen master Stig was impressed.
53:15But would he be impressed with the Bishop of Lewis?
53:32But much better.
53:34Next up, the hot favourite, the Reverend Anthony Felton White from Revelation Racing.
53:41And he didn't disappoint.
53:43Second gear.
53:45Apex this one early.
53:46Get it in.
53:46Get it in.
53:47Get it in.
53:49Push it hard.
53:56Who's got the nerve?
53:57Who's got the nerve?
53:58Hard-armed Rex.
53:59Hard-armed Rex.
53:59Take it in.
54:00Take the bend early.
54:01Take the bend early.
54:02Take the bend early.
54:02Take the bend early.
54:04Look at that.
54:05That's it.
54:06Ah!
54:07Ah!
54:09Yes!
54:11That was scarily good.
54:15A truly biblical lap from the Church of England.
54:17But the Roman Catholic Church was equally determined.
54:21Go!
54:25That looked committed.
54:27He means business.
54:45No!
54:48Now, I have the results here.
54:51But, before we get to that, this is the car they were driving.
54:56Okay?
54:56We told the people we borrowed it from they were just a few vicars.
55:01Couldn't possibly come to any harm.
55:04Look at this.
55:05Look at this down here.
55:07And look what happened underneath.
55:10Smashed off and broken.
55:14So, which one of you lot is responsible?
55:19Come on.
55:20Own up.
55:21The Bishop!
55:23The Bishop is responsible.
55:29Now, who, who would like to see how he did it?
55:34Yes!
55:35Play the tape.
55:41Oh!
55:45Well, there we are.
55:47How do you feel?
55:50Unrepentant.
55:54Very good.
55:57Right.
55:59Time for the results.
56:01Richard, would you care to join me?
56:02Oh, yes.
56:04In last place, and sadly not here, at work, Mark Lee from Harry Krashner, as it's now known.
56:11One minute, 56 seconds.
56:14In fifth place, Rabbi Pinney Dunner, you did crash.
56:18I mean, how surprised can you be?
56:19With one minute, 55.
56:21In fourth place, from the Buddhists, it's Riggs-In.
56:26Forgive me for being abbreviated.
56:27Well done.
56:28One minute, 45 seconds.
56:30And then in third place, despite ruining the calm that we borrowed, Bishop Wallace Benn,
56:37Church of England, of course, one minute, 42.
56:39So, last two, it's a straight two-cornered fight between the Roman Catholic Church and the Church of England,
56:46and it's the 16th century all over again.
56:50The Catholics come in second.
56:53Father Simon Sonson with one minute 40, which means the winner, the fastest faith,
57:00is the Church of England and the Reverend Anthony Feltham White.
57:03Yay!
57:07And Jason.
57:11Thank you very much.
57:13Thank you very much.
57:14Yay!
57:20Oh, delightful.
57:23And that is pretty much the end of the show.
57:28Looking at the bus lane.
57:30No, still nothing going on there.
57:33I think next week we won't bother doing anything to do with the environment.
57:36In fact, I think we might kick a couple of barn owls to death just for fun.
57:40In fact, we're going to be doing driver's cars.
57:43400 horsepower is the minimum level for entry.
57:45We're also going to be turning our Suzuki Liana into an Aga,
57:49and a Lada into a Lotus.
57:52See you then. Good night.
57:53Oh, wow.
57:54It's all right.
57:55Cheers.
57:57Yes, yes.
58:11You can see the thrillers of the day.
58:14I've got to get a chance.
58:15Yes, yes.
58:22You can get a chance.
58:23You might see the thrillers of the night
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