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00:01In tonight's Top Gear, the most relaxing way to spend £280,000 on a car, Richard reveals our budget bond
00:14car, and a floppy-haired star in our reasonably priced car.
00:25But first, ten years ago, if you wanted air conditioning, anti-lock brakes, or an airbag, you had to buy
00:32a big, expensive car.
00:35But today, it's all available on a simple family hatchback like this Golf.
00:41So, to work out what sort of kit is going to be fitted as standard to the family cars of
00:47the future, all you have to do is look at the stuff that's being fitted to today's big, expensive cars.
00:54And the king of the big, expensive cars is the technological trailblazer over the last 30 years, the S-Class
01:01Mercedes-Benz.
01:38S-Class Mercedes-Benz
01:40The latest S-Class, now available with a very economical, twin-turbo, 6-litre, I don't mean economical, do I?
01:48It's the wrong word.
01:49Massive, massive V12 engine.
01:52But I'm not very interested in that. I'm more interested in the toys.
01:57But before I could check them out, I had to get in character.
02:08If you could just, um, pop my briefcase in the car for me. Thank you.
02:14See, what he doesn't realise is, he's not going to be able to, because I've got this little credit card
02:20in my pocket.
02:21Now, when I walk up to the car, it'll recognise that and open itself.
02:26Can you not do it?
02:27Go, sir.
02:31Perfectly simple, look. You just walk up and open the door like that.
02:36And, uh, and now you're sacked.
02:40There we are.
02:44As long as you've got this in your pocket, you don't need a key to start it either. You just
02:48touch the top of the gear lever.
02:50And that's just the start of it.
02:52That tells me how many malfunctions there are on the car.
02:54It's Truman's, as are none.
02:56There are 140 motors in this car, only one of which is the engine.
03:01This button here raises and lowers the rear roller blind.
03:05This one, if you push it once, car goes up a little bit.
03:08If you want to go a little bit off-road and then push it again, it goes up even more.
03:12If you want to go a lot off-road.
03:14If you've got the sports suspension engaged and you go around a left-handed corner, you're thrown this way, it'll
03:20actually tighten that bolster.
03:21It'll pull it round to hold you in the seat.
03:23That lowers the rear head restraint.
03:25Quite good fun, that, if someone's fallen asleep in the back.
03:28And if you push this one, where it says pulse, these inflate and deflate and move about.
03:34So it's really like having a little Vietnamese girl in there massaging you as you drive along.
03:40This one's the telephone, perfectly straightforward.
03:42It's kept in here.
03:43That's the satellite navigation.
03:45That's the CD player.
03:46And you can memorise all the seat positions on these things here.
03:49Just push that.
03:50That's my driving position.
03:51That can be my wife's and that can be my butler's.
03:54Except, of course, I've sacked him.
03:55Naturally, they're stuffed and padded with Amazonian coconut husks.
04:00This one turns off the audible parking sensors.
04:03This one engages sports suspension.
04:05And best of all, if you have an accident, in the time it takes to yelp, no matter how you've
04:10got the seat arranged,
04:11it'll go, poof, and arrange itself so that you're perfectly positioned for being hurled into the airbag.
04:16Makes crashing very comfortable.
04:19It's got four aerials in each one of the pillars.
04:21These are all the radio stations it can pick up.
04:23Some of them aren't even from this planet.
04:25Now, this one enables me to select how long I want the rear number plate light to stay on after
04:32I get out at night.
04:34What kind of a meeting did they have where they went, have we thought of everything here?
04:39It's a rear number plate light.
04:41How long should it stay on after they get out of the car?
04:44Dial name.
04:47The name, please.
04:49Wilman.
04:50Wilman.
04:52Dialing.
04:53This is the producer of the show.
04:54We can just ring him up.
04:55I don't need to take my hands off the wheel or anything.
04:58Probably be in the ivy, having peach and peacock.
05:01Just going in the car park.
05:02Can I call you in two sacks when I get in the office?
05:04There you go, you see?
05:05Doesn't even want to talk to me.
05:06The only problem with this feature is that you have to teach it all the various numbers and names.
05:15And that can be quite tricky.
05:16Store name.
05:18The number, please.
05:2207710.
05:2527710.
05:26You see, that's not what I said, is it?
05:28Now, listen, woman, when I speak to you.
05:31349.
05:33249.
05:33I said 3.
05:36710.
05:37Please continue.
05:39No, you've got it wrong.
05:42020.
05:482671010.
05:50Store number.
05:51Shut up.
05:52Store number.
05:53Shut up.
05:53Delete number.
05:55Confirm number.
05:57Correction.
05:58Pardon?
05:59I haven't said anything yet.
06:00Stop.
06:02Function not possible at this time.
06:06I'm not going to be defeated here.
06:09349.
06:102, 0, 0, 5, 2, 4, 9.
06:163, 4, 9.
06:18The number is deleted.
06:20Please continue.
06:222, 4, 9.
06:26Why don't you listen?
06:28Dialing.
06:29No, don't dial that.
06:30I don't know who that is.
06:31That might be the queen.
06:330, 3, 3.
06:360, 3, 3.
06:39Store.
06:40Name and number are stored.
06:42Yes!
06:43We're there!
06:44We're there!
06:45Then we've got these buttons down here.
06:47This one repeats the last instruction from the satellite navigation.
06:51This one steers you round tailbacks that are ahead of you.
06:54This one brings up a map of where you are.
07:01It's gone dark.
07:05When did that happen?
07:09I haven't finished yet.
07:11Delete Radio 1 forever.
07:15Would you like to delete?
07:16Delete Wilman.
07:17No!
07:18I don't want to delete Wilman.
07:20I've just put him in.
07:21I've been hours putting him in.
07:22All afternoon, I've been putting him in.
07:23Cancel.
07:24What?
07:25You haven't cancelled him?
07:26I've just put him in.
07:28No!
07:29No, no, no, no, no.
07:34You didn't drive it.
07:35No.
07:36And I can explain why.
07:38This, okay?
07:39This is Simon Sharma's new book.
07:42History of Britain.
07:43He manages to condense into 558 pages, okay?
07:47The whole history of Britain.
07:48These are the handbooks for the Mercedes.
07:53720 pages.
07:55Before you can set off.
07:56Longer than the history of Britain.
07:58Exactly.
07:58But if we get all these clever toys in on just ordinary cars in the future, in 10 years' time,
08:03whenever, we won't go anywhere, will we?
08:06Not quickly, no.
08:08I mean, you won't just be able to pop to the shops anymore without having to just get the brightness
08:12just so on the vanity mirror light.
08:15Just a little bit more.
08:16A little bit.
08:16That's on page 486 of the handbook.
08:19But I did eventually get this going, and I took it to the one place where it absolutely shines.
08:36It's here on the motorway that we find the most astonishing feature of them all.
08:41The radar-guided cruise control.
08:43Let me show you how it works.
08:45I set it to 70 miles an hour, like so.
08:49Foot off the accelerator, and I'm doing 70.
08:51But what?
08:52If I pull onto the inside lane behind this truck, I'm not touching the brakes.
08:56I'm not touching anything, and we're slowing down.
08:58It's going to get me to 150 feet behind that truck, and I will stay at that distance, doing the
09:05same speed that it's doing forever.
09:08And then, when I've had enough, I simply pull into the middle lane.
09:14Truck's no longer there.
09:16It recognises that.
09:17And we're speeding up again.
09:20Follow the road until further instructions.
09:23So, if you think about it, satellite navigation's telling me where to go.
09:29The cruise control's making sure I don't crash into anything.
09:32The lights will come on when it goes dark.
09:34The wipers will come on if it starts to rain.
09:39What am I for?
09:45I know this costs 85,000 pounds, but really it is worth every single penny.
09:51It's a fabulous, fabulous car.
09:54However, Audi thinks it has an Achilles heel.
09:58They think there's a chink in its armour, and they've slipped in there with their rival for it, the A8.
10:12It seems to be the same as the Mercedes.
10:15Quite a lot cheaper at around 60,000 pounds, but still big, imposing, and very German.
10:22There's the same number of toys, too, and the same astonishing attention to detail.
10:28Like Mercedes, Audi employ a team of people who check every car before it leaves the factory
10:34to make sure that the smell coming from this piece of leather on the steering wheel
10:38doesn't clash with the smell coming from this piece of leather or this piece.
10:46So they're like sommeliers.
10:48Obviously, they couldn't get a job in the German wine industry, could they?
10:52They had to work for the car firms.
10:58However, there are some subtle differences between this and the Mercedes.
11:04Its V8 engine feels more muscular than the Merc's V12.
11:08And it's louder, more there.
11:11With four-wheel drive, it's more sure-footed through the corners, too, especially when it's raining.
11:16So you feel more connected, more in charge, less of a passenger.
11:20The Audi van is more of a driver's car than the S-Class.
11:26The steering's a bit dead, like it is in all Audis, actually.
11:29But I can use this button here to adjust the harshness of the suspension.
11:36Put it in dynamic. There we are.
11:38And then I've got these paddles behind the steering wheel,
11:41so I have some control over the automatic gearbox.
11:46This is a limousine GT, aren't we?
11:57So it's better than the Merc?
11:59No.
12:00Not even slightly.
12:01You see, the thing is, is it's kind of better to drive, for sure.
12:05But the Mercedes is more refined and more comfortable.
12:09Right.
12:09And I think the best way to describe the difference between these two cars is World Cup final, okay?
12:15Ten million people watched that on the BBC.
12:18Two million watched it on ITV.
12:20Now, ITV's coverage, like the Audi, just as good.
12:24But when you're taking on an institution like that, or the BBC,
12:27you can't be just as good.
12:29You've got to be 20 times better.
12:31And anyway, frankly, if you want a sporting limousine,
12:35we've got something later in the programme that blows this into the middle of next week.
12:42So Audi have taken their swing at the Mercedes,
12:44and they've sort of missed Jaguar next to step into the ring in this heavyweight contest,
12:49with this, their new XJ.
12:50Well, not this exact one, obviously.
12:53On the ones they sell to real people, they'll put some paint on it, I presume.
12:56It is a handsome car, and it's long.
12:58It's as long as the S-Class.
12:59But that's not going to be enough alone to tempt the world's plutocrats
13:03away from their beloved three-pointed star.
13:05It needs to be special.
13:06And it still is inside.
13:07You still get that cosseting feeling with this high-centre console
13:11and quite sombre, dark wood and swathes of leather.
13:14It's still a lot like riding in a mobile gentleman's club.
13:17Don't be deceived, though,
13:19because behind that wooden leather veneer,
13:21this is a very, very high-tech car.
13:24Think of it as being like a tweed spacesuit.
13:28No, no, I'll explain, I promise.
13:30You see, like the Audi, OK, it's made from aluminium,
13:33but it's built in a completely different way.
13:36This, OK, this is the Audi.
13:39Now, it's got an aluminium skeleton
13:41onto which all the aluminium body panels are bolted.
13:44So you've got the weight of the skeleton
13:45and then the weight of the panels.
13:47Now, the Jaguar is more like a lobster, OK?
13:50A lobster.
13:51A lobster.
13:52It's got an exoskeleton.
13:53What you see here, this is the structure.
13:56That's it.
13:57A lobster.
13:58Exactly.
13:59You don't get it, do you?
14:00No.
14:01Do you get it?
14:01Yeah, yeah.
14:03He gets it.
14:04You know exactly what I mean.
14:06That means it's light.
14:06It means you haven't got doubling up.
14:08It means that you're going to go,
14:09you'll have more speed,
14:10you'll have more economy,
14:11you'll be kinder to the environment.
14:13A lobster.
14:15Give it.
14:15Let's do the news, shall we?
14:16Let's do the news.
14:18Absolutely.
14:19And new news this week.
14:20New Nissan Almera.
14:22Well, it's kind of a facelift, really.
14:23A couple of new engines,
14:24a couple of petrol engines on them.
14:26Diesels to follow.
14:27But the most important thing about the Almera they're changing
14:29is the stupid names.
14:31Now, on the old one,
14:32it's quite complicated.
14:34They did an Almera E,
14:35that was the entry level.
14:37They did a Sport Plus,
14:38and a Sport SE Plus,
14:40but they also did a Twister and a Hurricane.
14:43Yeah.
14:43No, not a Nissan Almera Hurricane.
14:46It's kind of just mad optimism, isn't it?
14:48Hoping if we call it a Hurricane,
14:49it'll be really exciting.
14:51Here it is,
14:51the Nissan Light Breeze.
14:53It's coming to order now.
14:54A Nissan, whoops,
14:55there's a draft coming from somewhere.
14:57It's a bit blurry.
14:58It's an S and SV and an SVE,
14:59so much easier for us.
15:00It's simpler.
15:02The new Nissan 350Z here.
15:06Astonishingly good car.
15:07It's a very pretty car,
15:08and with quite a good bloodline.
15:10Well, it started off well
15:11with the 240Z back in 1969.
15:14Nissan then made it a little bit worse
15:15with the 260,
15:16worse again with the 280,
15:18and then it got to the Nissan 300,
15:20which was dangerously bad.
15:22It really was that dangerous.
15:23Yeah, you just had to think about it.
15:25I could kill you.
15:26Stop now.
15:27This is quite dangerous.
15:28Whatever, if you're doing this at home,
15:29don't think about it.
15:30Leave it.
15:31Anyway, they're back to basics now
15:32with the 350Z.
15:33It's got a 3.5-litre V6 engine
15:35in the front.
15:36It's got rear-wheel drive.
15:38It's a two-seater,
15:39and by all accounts,
15:40it's absolutely wonderful to drive.
15:42Except we're not going to find out
15:44because all they can make
15:47for the next year
15:48are going to the septics,
15:50and...
15:50Septics being, that's septic tanks.
15:53Yanks.
15:53Yanks.
15:54Americans, yeah.
15:56The septics are having
15:57everything they can make for a year,
15:58and this is happening
15:59time and time again nowadays.
16:01You know, the Volvo XC90,
16:03great car, that seven-seater Volvo off-roader.
16:05They've just put the launch date
16:07back of that in Britain
16:09till the spring,
16:10because of the septics.
16:11Volkswagen Beetle,
16:12that was nearly a year.
16:14That was completely out of date
16:15by the time it got here
16:16because of the septics.
16:18So actually,
16:19what the European car industry
16:20needs to do, really,
16:21all I'm Japanese,
16:22is make a car
16:23that they don't want.
16:25Sort of American-proof.
16:26American-proof car.
16:27So you get the seat,
16:28and you get a plaster cast
16:29of Kate Moss's bottom,
16:31and then they won't get into it,
16:33and then the cup holder,
16:34make it about that big,
16:36just for a little espresso
16:37or some Red Bull.
16:38Rather than this sort of thing.
16:39So they can't get their styrofoam buckets
16:42with two gallons of water
16:44and half a granule of coffee.
16:45Hey, you want to just go easy on that?
16:47Can't get that.
16:48And the boot, okay?
16:49The boot,
16:50exactly an inch shorter
16:52than a golf club.
16:55So they think it's going to go in,
16:56but it just doesn't quite do it.
16:58But sadly,
16:59they are making cars for the Americans,
17:00and we just have to wait
17:01until they've gorged themselves off.
17:04Serious point now.
17:05In the papers this week,
17:06Wiltshire County Council
17:08have,
17:09and not just in Villages,
17:10but actually on the A360 as well,
17:11removed the white lines
17:13because they say
17:14this will create a feeling
17:16of uncertainty among drivers,
17:19making them more cautious.
17:20Well, yeah, it will.
17:21No, that's actually not a laughing matter.
17:24It's not a laughing matter.
17:26Seriously,
17:27someone's going to die
17:28as a result of this.
17:29Now, I don't mind
17:30if environmentalists
17:31who dream this kind of stuff up
17:32sit at home
17:33with their guardians.
17:35What you do in the privacy
17:35room in the kitchen is fine.
17:36Eat your vegetables,
17:37wear your potato shoes,
17:39don't bring your idiotic ideas
17:41onto the road, okay?
17:42Someone will be killed.
17:45Another story from the newspapers
17:46this week
17:47about manufacturers
17:48making claims for their cars
17:49that they're more economical
17:50than they actually are.
17:51You know when you look
17:52at the MPG figures,
17:53you get three.
17:54There's the urban,
17:55which is your town driving,
17:56that's the lowest.
17:57Extra urban,
17:58which is the highest figure,
17:59that's for kind of
17:59motorway faster.
18:00From the combined,
18:01when they do a difficult
18:02sermon,
18:03they come up with a number,
18:04what people are saying
18:04is those figures
18:05are a little optimistic.
18:06Well, they are
18:07because they test their cars
18:08on rolling roads
18:10and machines.
18:11They don't have,
18:11they don't have no white lines
18:13to worry about.
18:14They don't have traffic lights
18:15to slow down for,
18:16you know,
18:16the ones on Regent Street
18:17that are red for two minutes
18:18and that's what does you.
18:19What I always do,
18:20actually,
18:21a piece of information,
18:22is basically look at
18:23the urban figure
18:25because as a general rule,
18:27that's what you get
18:28out of a car.
18:29The lowest figure.
18:30The lowest figure,
18:30the one that they say
18:31you get around town,
18:32your average figure
18:32will be that,
18:33except the car I brought
18:35down this morning,
18:36okay,
18:37from Mercedes,
18:39they say,
18:40look at this,
18:40this is my notepaper here,
18:42they say that the combined figure,
18:44that the average,
18:45I'm supposed to be able to do,
18:47is 19.9 miles to the gallon.
18:49Now, on my system,
18:50the urban figure
18:51is 13 and a half.
18:53Would you like to guess
18:54what I actually did
18:55from London down
18:56to the top gear base
18:57this morning?
18:5810, 11?
18:596.5 miles to the gallon.
19:01That is good,
19:02isn't it?
19:02That's plenty of fuel.
19:036.5,
19:04that's astonishing.
19:06Right,
19:06well,
19:07we've talked enough
19:07about Fat Cat Transport
19:08this evening.
19:09Now,
19:10I'm going to show you a car
19:11that is movement
19:12for the masses
19:13and this car
19:14is so hot at the moment,
19:15it's setting the used car market
19:17alight.
19:18In fact,
19:18if you visit
19:19the Autotrader website,
19:21you'll find that
19:22these cars are getting
19:22an inquiry
19:23every 25 seconds.
19:25That's seven days a week,
19:2624 hours a day.
19:28Every 25 seconds,
19:29someone is looking
19:30for one of these.
19:31So in the course
19:32of this program,
19:33144 people
19:34are trying to find
19:35a second-hand one.
19:36It's the Peugeot 206.
19:38So we know
19:39that you want to buy one.
19:40Let's show you how to.
19:45Hard to see
19:46why the 206
19:46is on so many shopping lists.
19:48It's a nice car to drive.
19:50And I don't mean
19:51soft and mushy,
19:51I mean it's a really
19:53pleasant thing to be in.
19:55And then, of course,
19:56there's those looks.
20:02And although that design
20:03is four years old,
20:04it still looks
20:04absolutely great.
20:06In fact, I'll bet you
20:07if you buy one of those
20:07today,
20:08in a couple of years' time,
20:09it'll still look better
20:11than the rivals.
20:17And it's classless, too.
20:19It's got so much charm
20:20that it fits in anywhere.
20:22And even though
20:22it's a mass-market car,
20:24it's got enough character
20:25to make anyone
20:26who drives it
20:27feel a bit special,
20:28which is quite a rare trick
20:29to pull off.
20:31But let's get down
20:32to practicalities.
20:35Four years into its life,
20:36and the 206
20:37hasn't yet thrown up
20:38any big faults,
20:39the main complaints
20:40are just squeaks
20:41and rattles
20:41from poor trim finish.
20:43The sunroof sliding
20:44mechanism in particular
20:46can get worn,
20:47so check this
20:48on your test drive.
20:50But since most 206s
20:51come with either a sunroof
20:53or air conditioning,
20:54you do have a choice.
20:57You're better off
20:58going for one with air-con,
20:59like this one.
21:00It'll cost you
21:01a few hundred quid more,
21:02but it's well worth it.
21:05The switch gear
21:06can also be a bit delicate,
21:08so check all the buttons
21:09function properly.
21:10If, say,
21:11an electric mirror
21:11isn't working,
21:13it may just be the switch
21:14rather than the electric motor
21:15that's the problem.
21:16And on the plus side,
21:18the 206 petrols
21:19have got the longest
21:20service interval
21:21of any car in their class.
21:22That's two years
21:23or 20,000 miles.
21:25Engines.
21:26I'd avoid the 1.1.
21:28It has to work
21:28awfully hard for a living
21:29and it's not really
21:30up to the job.
21:31You're far better off
21:32getting a 1.4 or a 1.6.
21:34Although on the 1.6,
21:36watch out,
21:37because they can be prone
21:38to cam belt problems
21:39quite early on in their life.
21:40So for me,
21:41I'd buy a 1.4,
21:42save myself a few hundred pounds
21:44and enjoy the performance.
21:50Now, with big German
21:51executive saloons,
21:52I've got no trouble
21:53recommending a car
21:54that's done 80,000
21:55miles,
21:56but I'm not going to do
21:56the same with a small
21:57hatchback,
21:58especially if you're
21:59aiming to run the car
22:00for a good few
22:01trouble-free years.
22:02I'd play safe.
22:04Look for one
22:04with under 50,000 miles.
22:06It's still got some
22:07of the three-year
22:07manufacturer's warranty left.
22:10So, for me, the perfect combination
22:12would be a 2.6, 1.4,
22:15about three years old
22:16with about 30,000 miles on it,
22:18full service history,
22:20get one with the aircon,
22:21metallic paint,
22:22and you can pick one of those up
22:24for about five and a half grand.
22:27Recap, then.
22:28Basically, look out for switches
22:29and look out for dodgy sunroofs.
22:31Yeah.
22:32The only thing that confuses me
22:33about it is if there's
22:34this huge demand for it,
22:37which there obviously is,
22:38isn't that inflating the price?
22:40You say five and a half thousand
22:41quid for a 1.4?
22:42Yeah.
22:43The prices are strong
22:44on them secondhand.
22:45I mean, you could go and buy
22:46something like a Ford Fiesta or a Clio,
22:48same sort of age,
22:49same kind of spec,
22:50probably for about a grand less.
22:51But why wouldn't you do that?
22:52Because if you buy one of these,
22:54A, it's a pretty car,
22:55B, it drives nicely,
22:56and C, although you've spent
22:57a grand more now,
22:58come to sell it
22:59in two or three years' time,
23:01you're going to get
23:01most of that money back.
23:02So it's not like spending a grand,
23:03it's like loaning a grand.
23:05Yeah.
23:05You can get it back.
23:06Okay, well, there we are,
23:072.06.
23:08Probably the best used buyer
23:09on the market today, then.
23:10Right.
23:11It's time now to put a star
23:13in our reasonably-priced car.
23:15We've got celebrities
23:16queuing up
23:17to try out the Liana
23:18on our track.
23:20But our guest this week,
23:22he needed a bit of encouragement,
23:24a shoehorn even.
23:25Let's meet him,
23:26ladies and gentlemen,
23:27Jonathan Ross.
23:31Oh.
23:36They are beautiful.
23:37Well, you know what?
23:38This won't surprise you.
23:39I've got a matching leather cap,
23:40but sadly,
23:41I couldn't find it this morning.
23:42Pants?
23:43No pants on today,
23:44as you requested.
23:46So, you're not a driver, then?
23:48I am a driver.
23:49I drive cars all the time.
23:50I'm often to be found
23:50in my deluxe family Toyota Previa,
23:52taking the children to school.
23:53You have a Toyota Previa?
23:55Yeah, and it's a fine vehicle.
23:56I've always argued,
23:58so you drive a sports car?
23:59Fine.
23:59You've got to people carry
24:00all those seats.
24:01It's like,
24:01hey, everyone,
24:02mine works fine.
24:04Look how many children
24:05I've produced.
24:06I like that.
24:06Look at that silver car
24:07you've got on here.
24:08Oh, the Jaguar.
24:08I accidentally keyed it
24:09on the way in.
24:10That's not a problem.
24:11No, it isn't a problem,
24:12because there's a lot of paint on it.
24:13Fantastic.
24:13She's fantastic.
24:14We all want that.
24:15It's just a car.
24:16I know.
24:16I want to talk about your car,
24:19not your Toyota Previa,
24:20not your family.
24:21That's the family wagon.
24:22The family wagon.
24:23I want to talk about
24:24your Mazda MX-5.
24:25Would you like to tell
24:26the nice ladies and gentlemen
24:27what colour you've painted it?
24:29She's a beaut.
24:30She is a sort of
24:31just a slightly,
24:33you know the duck egg blue?
24:34She's like a shade up
24:35from the duck egg blue.
24:37Kind of a light turquoise.
24:38A kind of powder blue,
24:39and it's your own colour?
24:41It's my own colour.
24:41Well, no, actually,
24:42I didn't do that.
24:43My wife bought it for me
24:44for my 40th birthday,
24:45and she covered the seats
24:47in pony skin.
24:48Pony skin?
24:49Yeah, I mean like the back,
24:49not the head of the pony,
24:50like the back.
24:51I think there's a bit of a leg
24:53over there, I'm not sure.
24:54Actually, I just want to,
24:55can I just interrupt?
24:55I want to make it quite plain
24:56that no ponies were peeled
24:58for the making of your car.
24:59They're not real pony skin.
25:01Yeah, it's real pony skin.
25:02It is real pony skin.
25:04Well, it better be
25:04the amount of cost up.
25:06So is this more important to you,
25:08the aesthetics of a car,
25:10plainly with pony skin
25:11and powder blue,
25:12more important
25:12than the engine
25:14and the rear wheel
25:15and drive delicate balance?
25:16I have no interest
25:17in how fast a car can go.
25:18I have absolutely no interest
25:20in how it steers,
25:21what's going on
25:22under the bonnet,
25:23how much petrol it consumes,
25:25what even the word talk means.
25:27Nobody knows.
25:28You made that word up.
25:30I believe when you started
25:31rewriting car journalism,
25:34you invented several words
25:35you threw in
25:36just to confound
25:37and perplex people,
25:38and in the true style
25:39of the emperor's new clothes,
25:40no one's called you on it,
25:41and now Clarkson,
25:42I put it to you,
25:43torque does not exist.
25:44Torque?
25:46All I can tell you
25:47about torque
25:47is that it comes in lumps.
25:50It's not a little thing.
25:51You don't get it
25:52in an espresso cup.
25:53I hear it's expensive
25:54because torque isn't cheap.
25:56What?
25:58What's wrong with that?
26:00Well, make your own jokes up there.
26:02That's just the worst one
26:03we've ever had.
26:04Torque's not cheap.
26:05I'm telling you this,
26:05many years ago,
26:06I had an RX-7 motor vehicle,
26:08black with a leather interior,
26:10had an engine called
26:11a rotary wankle.
26:12Not an easy one
26:13for me to get my lips wet.
26:16I once took this beast,
26:18and I know it's against the law,
26:20and I know it's wrong,
26:20and I wasn't on
26:21das Auto-Bahn.
26:21Perhaps it was in Germany.
26:22No, it wasn't in Germany.
26:23Perhaps it was on the Isle of Man.
26:24No, it was on the way
26:25to Maidstone.
26:27Oh, no, wait, sorry.
26:28We've had a complaint about this.
26:30I now have to look disapproving,
26:31okay?
26:32I was young,
26:33I was foolish, okay?
26:35Anyway,
26:35I took it up to you.
26:36Is this disapproving enough?
26:39That's your orgasm face, Jeremy,
26:40isn't it?
26:41It's the same thing.
26:42It is the same thing.
26:44No, it's just that JK came on
26:46and said he got from Rome to London
26:48in like 13 hours,
26:49and apparently I went,
26:51and I should have gone.
26:53You should have.
26:54You don't encourage
26:54other young pop stars.
26:55So this 100 miles an hour
26:57to Maidstone.
26:58I did 100 miles an hour,
26:59that's right.
26:59I went up to 100 miles an hour,
27:01but I tell you,
27:01it's not for everyone,
27:02because as I got,
27:03and the needle was waving,
27:04I thought,
27:04oh, I'll give it the extra,
27:05and I went up,
27:06and the wanker in the back
27:08was spinning beautifully.
27:09As I got up to 100,
27:10I was sweating so much,
27:11I had to pull over and rest.
27:14And I was sweating...
27:16100 miles an hour.
27:17It was horrible.
27:18Yeah, I know.
27:18There's no need for a man
27:19to travel that fast on land.
27:21No, there is.
27:22There's no need,
27:23whatever.
27:23It's ridiculous,
27:25it's dangerous,
27:26and it makes your heart
27:27beat go up.
27:28Which is good.
27:29No, that's not nice.
27:30I like to drive along,
27:31ideally.
27:32What I like is a car,
27:33dog's head out the back window,
27:34maybe body attached as well,
27:35doesn't matter,
27:35but the effect is...
27:37Possibly a pipe.
27:39Slippers.
27:40Wouldn't that be lovely?
27:41Delicate feel.
27:41A leather patch there.
27:43Now, you once argued,
27:44cars are dangerous.
27:46They are.
27:47Why are they dangerous?
27:48Because I've got a love-hate
27:49relationship with cars
27:50that I think a lot of people
27:51have who live in cities,
27:51because I want to use my car,
27:54I want to drive my car,
27:56I don't want other people
27:57using their car
27:58while I'm using my car.
27:58No, I think that's fair enough.
27:59I don't think that's unreasonable.
28:01I think it could be
28:02the clothes you wear
28:03that is the scary part
28:04of driving.
28:05You think so?
28:06No, I think we should have
28:06dip beam on your tie.
28:09You think it's too bright?
28:10Yeah, it would dazzle people
28:11coming the other way.
28:12You're so rude.
28:13You sit there
28:14and you're like,
28:14what is that,
28:15some sort of turquoise,
28:16synthetic nylon shirt?
28:18Has a battery.
28:19It's a power supply.
28:20I think I'm the only guest
28:21on your show
28:21who's made an effort.
28:22I thought,
28:23I'm seeing Clarkson today,
28:24you know,
28:25the show is lacking glamour,
28:26I'll dress up,
28:27give the ladies
28:28of a certain age
28:29a little bit of crumpet.
28:30Where are the ladies?
28:31Where are the ladies?
28:32Where are the...
28:33They've gone outside
28:35to get some fresh air
28:35because they're overcome.
28:38Of course,
28:39you're not just here
28:40to be here.
28:42time of day.
28:42You are, of course,
28:43here because you are a star
28:45and you elected,
28:48let's say,
28:49to go in our reasonably
28:50priced car.
28:51Were you a bit nervous
28:52about this?
28:53I was a bit worried
28:53because I've never driven
28:54a car on a track like that.
28:56I've never tried
28:56to drive a car fast,
28:57really.
28:58And I know that's
28:59one mean mother
28:59of a vehicle
29:00you've got out there.
29:01And I tell you,
29:02that baby,
29:02she handles.
29:05Everybody's coming out
29:06going,
29:06that's a serious car
29:07you've got there.
29:08Actually, that's a
29:08motor and a half.
29:09It's a motor.
29:09It is.
29:09£9,995.
29:12You can't ask
29:13fairer than that.
29:14Worth every penny.
29:14Absolutely.
29:15Shall we see
29:15how you got on
29:16with your last?
29:17Let's have a look.
29:17Let's have a look
29:18at Jonathan Ross
29:19in the reasonably
29:19priced car.
29:21Two,
29:21one,
29:22and go on.
29:24Certainly the first
29:24man in a suit
29:25in the reasonably
29:26priced Leon.
29:27The helmet looks nice
29:28to the car.
29:28At that speed,
29:29yeah,
29:29I can't get it.
29:30What are we saying?
29:30It's easier
29:31because I don't
29:32actually care
29:32whether I do that
29:33about.
29:34You don't care,
29:35really.
29:36This car,
29:37the cars seem
29:38to drive a bit
29:39differently when
29:39you go fast.
29:40It's not like
29:40driving.
29:41Normally I'm used
29:42to taking the
29:43kids to school
29:44and occasionally
29:45going to the
29:46local supermarket.
29:47That's fast,
29:47Jonathan.
29:48I thought that
29:48was quite fast.
29:49It's in the rain.
29:53But look at that
29:54magnificent turn.
29:55It wasn't.
29:56And this bit,
29:57I think I have to
29:58go around here.
29:59You look ridiculous.
30:06I look like a
30:06Star Trek fan.
30:08This is the first
30:09man ever to get
30:09lost on the track.
30:11It's raining.
30:12It's got
30:13wide wings.
30:13Look at that
30:14speed there.
30:14I was going about
30:1530, 40 miles
30:16an hour.
30:16I don't know where
30:17there are cameras
30:17here.
30:18So this time,
30:18go down to third,
30:20go down to second.
30:22Oh, the synchro's
30:23gone.
30:23I couldn't turn.
30:24Oh, there's a change.
30:29A bird flew past.
30:31Oh, look.
30:31That's quite
30:32speedy.
30:35Now, now, okay?
30:37These are the times
30:38of the people that
30:38have been on the
30:39show so far.
30:40The Stig, 146.
30:41Well, you know,
30:42racing driver.
30:42Tiny little brain.
30:44JK, 148.
30:45I didn't, 150.
30:45Now, this is the
30:46wet times, okay?
30:47Steve Coogan, 153.
30:49Ross Kemp, 154.
30:51Harry Enfield on a
30:52dry track, two days
30:53and one hour.
30:57Now, Jonathan Ross,
30:59your time is, and I'm
31:01afraid I'm going to
31:02penalize you two seconds
31:03for plainly cutting the
31:05hammerhead there.
31:05We all saw that.
31:06What are you talking
31:07about?
31:07You got lost.
31:08You cut a corner.
31:09If there was standing
31:10water, the glare almost
31:12blinded me.
31:13You're lucky I'm still
31:14alive.
31:15Do you think I care?
31:16No, but you're lucky.
31:17Two seconds, no arguing,
31:19and it is one minute.
31:23You did it in 55.
31:24It's 57, and that's not
31:26too bad.
31:29That's in two seconds.
31:34So now I'm ranked number
31:36sixth in the world, is that
31:37right?
31:37You are ranked?
31:38Somewhere.
31:39Somewhere in the world.
31:40Now, everybody, this was
31:42Jonathan's timed lap that
31:43we've just seen.
31:44Who'd like to see some of
31:46the practices that he had?
31:47Yeah.
31:48Let's just have a look at
31:49that, shall we?
31:50All as a cucumber.
31:58Well, that was fun.
32:00Curiously, I appear to have
32:01stalled.
32:03Oh, another one.
32:06Here we go.
32:09I thought it might be
32:10faster.
32:13You see, a car like this
32:14likes a bit of offload
32:16action.
32:18I think it was
32:19fantastic.
32:20Ladies and gentlemen,
32:21just of course.
32:26Now, we've already
32:27established that the S-Class
32:28is pretty much the ultimate
32:30plutocrat's runabout.
32:31In fact, we reckon
32:32there's only one company
32:34that could beat
32:34Mercedes, and that's
32:36Mercedes.
32:37But even they'd have
32:38to go some, which is
32:39exactly what they've
32:40done.
32:41Meet the new mother of
32:43all limousines, the
32:44Maybach 62.
32:45Suddenly, the S-Class
32:46seems a little bit, well,
32:48small, and a little bit
32:49cheap, too.
32:51Jeremy's cost
32:51£87,000.
32:53This costs
32:56£281,380.
32:57But before you rush out
32:59to buy one, I went to
33:00Germany to try it out
33:01for you.
33:18Mercedes sell
33:19100,000 S-Class
33:20every year, but those
33:22sort of numbers are not
33:23for the Maybach.
33:24Oh, no, no, no.
33:26A thousand a year
33:27will be plenty, so we
33:28are breathing very rare
33:30verified air indeed.
33:41If the S-Class really
33:42is as much car as
33:44anybody needs, how are
33:45people going to be
33:46persuaded to pay three
33:47times as much for
33:48another car?
33:49I suppose it's got to be
33:50in the details.
33:51I mean, the wood.
33:52There is the option of
33:53the black wood.
33:54They call it piano wood.
33:55It's made by Steinway.
33:56And then there's the
33:57soundproofing.
33:58The wheel arches are
33:59lined with a special
34:00fibrous textile.
34:02And elsewhere around
34:02the car, there are
34:03microfibre tiles,
34:05whatever they are.
34:06But the result is, it is
34:08spookily quiet in here.
34:10In fact, I wonder how
34:12fast we've actually got to
34:13go before there's any
34:14noise to back up the
34:16only other evidence I've
34:16got that we're moving,
34:17which is scenery flashing
34:19past the windows.
34:20Manfred, step on it,
34:22please.
34:25Right, we're doing 150.
34:27No noise.
34:28I know how fast we're
34:29going because I've got a
34:30speedo up there along
34:31with a clock and a
34:32thermometer.
34:33And isn't that just the
34:35ultimate control freak
34:36gizmo?
34:37I think I can hear
34:38something.
34:40Not sure.
34:41I think they're just
34:41moving the scenery
34:42faster.
34:44It's boring speed.
34:47250 kilometers an hour
34:48is about 155 mph.
34:51And noise?
34:52What noise?
34:53I'm starting to get the
34:54point of this thing.
34:55In order for Mercedes to
34:56set a new standard in
34:58limousinery, they had to
34:59revive the old Maybach
35:00brand.
35:01This was Germany's answer
35:02to Rolls-Royce and
35:03Bugatti in the 20s and
35:0530s.
35:06And just like the
35:07Maybach today, they were
35:08very, very big cars.
35:10But then they were
35:11mostly taken up with
35:12bonnet, with a tiny little
35:13cabin bolted onto the
35:15back.
35:15The interior space was
35:16actually pretty pokey.
35:17This, though, well,
35:19yeah, it's huge and very
35:21long, but most of that
35:22length is taken up with
35:23providing interior
35:24accommodation.
35:2662 stands for 6.2
35:28meters long, and they
35:30must expect customers to
35:31be as tall as their
35:32rich, though the
35:33chauffeur is hardly left
35:34perched on a packing
35:35crate.
35:36Oh, yes, and at the
35:37front.
35:37This is the world's most
35:39powerful production
35:40engine, and I think it's
35:42running.
35:42Yeah, there's heat
35:43coming off it.
35:44It's running.
35:49Passengers cosseted in
35:50what begs to be called
35:51the salon can gaze into
35:53the heavens or dismiss
35:54them at the touch of a
35:55button, thanks to a
35:56photoelectric sunroof.
36:09I don't know, nearly 300
36:11grand, and it does look a bit
36:13sedate on the outside, but
36:15maybe that's just the
36:16northerner in me complaining.
36:17I mean, if I designed it, I'd
36:19really let people know that
36:21300 grand was coming.
36:22It'd have fins, a glitter
36:24ball, neon, big mahogany
36:28TV cabinet, that sort of
36:29thing.
36:31The actual driving experience
36:34might be as relevant to
36:35potential owners as how to
36:36change the oil, but, well,
36:38it'd be rude not to.
36:42This, this is insane.
36:44This car is truly enormous,
36:47but it can get to over 60
36:49miles an hour in 5.4 seconds.
36:52That's thanks to a 5.5
36:54litre V12, 550 brake
36:57horsepower, 900 newton
36:59metres of torque.
37:00That's the important one.
37:01I'm not going to bore you by
37:02telling you what torque is if
37:03you don't know, because I
37:04can't explain it, but I tell
37:06you, 900 is a lot.
37:08It really is a lot.
37:21Even up here, at the top of the
37:22motoring pile, you can buy
37:24optional extras, not admittedly
37:27mats and alloys type stuff, but
37:29you can have a walnut dividing
37:31panel to separate the help in the
37:32front.
37:33That's £20,000.
37:35On the cheaper side, you can get
37:36an outdoor speaker system for
37:38£1,200, so you can shout at the
37:40peasants.
37:41Oh, and that photoelectric
37:42sunroof, that's £10,000.
37:44What you do get is a personal
37:46liaison manager, or PLN.
37:48Your PLN, by the way, is another
37:50extra with the car, but you don't
37:51pay any more for it.
37:52You don't ring him to book
37:54servicing so much as call him,
37:55he'll get your Madonna tickets, or
37:57move the Eiffel Tower three feet to
37:59the left, because it's shattering
38:00in my back, that kind of stuff.
38:18You'd be in Sicily before you
38:20finish playing with all the toys.
38:22I mean, essential executive
38:23equipment, two types of drink
38:25holder, remote DVD.
38:32So, is it better than a roller?
38:34Well, yeah, of course it is.
38:35It's huge.
38:36But it differs from a roller, in
38:38the same way it differs from
38:39Ferraris.
38:40Those are both cars that kids
38:41have pictures of on their
38:42bedroom wall.
38:43This isn't.
38:44This isn't designed to bring a
38:45smile to the whole world.
38:47The Maybach is designed to bring
38:49a smile to the faces of the
38:50people who can really afford
38:51one.
38:52That's a very different kind of
38:53car.
38:53But the whole effect does begin to
38:55sink in after a while.
38:56While I'm here, I'm going to take
38:58advantage of the facilities, and
38:59there's a quick call I really
39:00need to make.
39:02Hello.
39:03Is that Mr. Dainty?
39:06Good.
39:06Headmaster, Shaman's Cross
39:08Junior School, late 70s.
39:10Excellent.
39:10My name's Richard Hammond, Mr.
39:12Dainty.
39:12You may not remember me.
39:13Class 1A.
39:14Mrs. Levy's class.
39:15Yeah.
39:16There's a few points I'd like to
39:17take up with you, actually.
39:19Just thinking back to those
39:20days.
39:21A few things you said.
39:22Yeah.
39:23You might remember.
39:24Amount to nothing.
39:25That was it.
39:26Go nowhere.
39:27That's me.
39:27Short bloke.
39:28This is the first one in the
39:30UK, so please get in, climb in,
39:31have a look around, help
39:33yourself.
39:33Go on.
39:34In your...
39:34You haven't been eating
39:35chocolate or anything, have
39:35you?
39:36Nothing on your fingers.
39:36Or your shoes.
39:37They're clean.
39:38Actually, if you're feeling a
39:39bit broke, there's a cheaper
39:41version, you know?
39:42MyBAC 57, and it's only 243,780
39:45quid.
39:45That's not bad.
39:4725 grand deposit, which does hurt
39:49a little bit.
39:50They look after you.
39:51Don't break anything in there,
39:52will you?
39:53Please don't break anything.
39:54They look after you, though.
39:55When you go to the factory, if
39:56you're agonizing of a color, you
39:57know how sometimes, blue or red,
40:00they actually have a series of
40:01domes in which they can recreate
40:02the light from anywhere in the
40:04world.
40:05So, like, you live in Mombasa,
40:06and you want to know how a blue
40:07one would look, they can go,
40:09Mombasa light, there's your blue
40:10one.
40:10You know what I've just thought
40:12of?
40:13No, Jeremy.
40:13280,000?
40:15Yes.
40:15I think that's pretty good value.
40:18Right.
40:19Now, really and truthfully, think
40:21about it, if you were to buy a
40:22house, particularly in the
40:23southeast of England, you don't
40:25get much for 280,000.
40:27Certainly, it won't be this big.
40:29No, it's probably not.
40:29Furthermore, the owners of the
40:31house you buy will take the
40:32curtains with them.
40:33This comes with curtains included
40:35in the price.
40:36How many houses do you know of
40:37that have got central locking?
40:39None.
40:40Or double glazing?
40:41Well, some have.
40:42And leather seats already there.
40:43And TV sets.
40:44This is true.
40:45And electric windows.
40:46I've never been in a house with
40:47electric windows.
40:48Ever.
40:49And, come and look at this.
40:50In a house, very easy to commit
40:52suicide.
40:52If, yes, it is.
40:54Look at this, okay?
40:55It's working this one out.
40:56There's a button here to close
40:57the boot, because obviously you
40:59can't be bothered to do it
41:00yourself.
41:00So if you just put your neck down
41:02like that, okay?
41:04Press the button and...
41:05Bye, Jeremy.
41:06It detects me and goes back up
41:08again.
41:08Jeremy, how did you find that
41:09out?
41:10I like to thoroughly road test a
41:12car.
41:13That is thorough, isn't it?
41:14You know, I don't like to just go
41:15for a bit of a drive around
41:16Germany.
41:17I like to get it tested.
41:18Trap your head in the boot.
41:19So, in fact, it's safe and a
41:21bargain.
41:22Precisely.
41:23Amazing.
41:24This week's Insider Trading
41:25News.
41:26And last week, I showed you how
41:27you could buy a brand new Ford
41:29Focus for under £10,000.
41:31And we know that you can buy a
41:32brand new Suzuki Liana for £9,995.
41:35Reasonably priced car.
41:35Reasonably priced car.
41:36Well, Rover have entered the
41:38fray and they are now competing
41:39head to head with those cars.
41:41The Rover 45, they're bringing
41:42out a limited edition, the
41:43Spirit.
41:44That car normally is £11,650.
41:47But you can go and buy that car
41:48today for £9,903.
41:51That's even more reasonably
41:52priced than our reasonably
41:53priced car.
41:54It is indeed.
41:54So we'll see who else responds
41:55to the challenge.
41:56MG are also knocking 15% off some
41:58of the models.
41:59So something like an MG ZT,
42:00which is a hot one, the 75.
42:02Yep, that car normally £21,150.
42:05You can pick that car up now for
42:06£18,285.
42:08That's £3,000 off.
42:08That is a lot off.
42:09It's stealing in Prezza
42:10territory almost.
42:11Yeah, it is.
42:12Different kind of car, but loads
42:13of fun.
42:13Yeah.
42:14Now, I've got a personal
42:15car.
42:15If you have to replace your own
42:17tyres, pay for your own
42:18tyres, chances are you'll go
42:19into one of those specialist
42:20tyre and exhaust fitters.
42:22They advertise, you know,
42:23prices can't be beaten, this
42:24kind of thing, national
42:25networks.
42:26Well, I've got a feeling maybe
42:27they can.
42:28So I did a little bit of
42:29homework this week and I
42:29phoned up QuickFit.
42:31Yeah.
42:31I phoned up four of the
42:32branches and my mate next
42:34door's got a 320 diesel BMW
42:35so I thought, I'll use that
42:37as an example.
42:38Phoned up, they clearly have
42:39a very accurate pricing
42:40policy because the first
42:41place I phoned they told me
42:42it's £587 for four tyres
42:45fitted with that and all
42:46that kind of stuff.
42:47Okay, I thought, phoned
42:48another QuickFit, same
42:49price, price, £587.
42:51Next one, £580, next
42:53one, £587.
42:54So I thought, well, I
42:55wonder how much more it
42:56would be to go to a BMW
42:57dealer because at the end
42:58of the day, they don't
42:59specialise.
43:00So I phoned my local BMW
43:01dealer and what do you
43:03think the price was?
43:04Well, I mean, I'm kind of
43:05suspecting it might be good
43:06but I would have imagined
43:07BMW franchise dealer is going
43:09to be a lot.
43:09I thought, you know, six,
43:10seven, maybe a grand, big
43:11money.
43:11Yeah, £420.
43:14No.
43:15Including that and fitting
43:16£170 cheaper than
43:18QuickFit.
43:18And you've kind of got the
43:19security that it was fitted
43:20at a franchise dealer.
43:21I don't know if that makes
43:22any difference but...
43:23Well, it's BMW trained
43:24technicians, they know
43:25their way around the car
43:25so I thought, well, okay,
43:27we'll try some other
43:27places.
43:28I got the price down a
43:29little bit with some of
43:30the independent tyre
43:30places but the message is
43:31very clear.
43:32Don't assume that the
43:33franchise dealer is going
43:34to be more expensive than
43:36some of these QuickFit
43:36places.
43:37Get a couple of prices and
43:38negotiate between them.
43:39Shop around.
43:40Save yourself £170 on
43:41that one alone.
43:42Okay, but how about this
43:43for deal of the week?
43:44Vauxhall Omega 2.2 CDX
43:46Auto.
43:47Big car.
43:48Big car.
43:49£22,500 if you went to
43:50buy that car.
43:51List price, £22,500.
43:53But there is a dealer in
43:55the UK that is currently
43:56selling a brand new
43:58unregistered car for £16,000.
44:01£16,000?
44:02That's an enormous name.
44:03£6,500.
44:04For a big old car.
44:05Yep, 30% off list price.
44:06But that was just one.
44:08But does that mean if
44:09there's one...
44:09There is an old ad who
44:10says, if there's one out
44:11there, there's going to be
44:11more than one out there.
44:12So I was offered one car
44:14but I'm sure that if I dug
44:15a bit deeper I could find
44:16a few more.
44:16That is a very big saving
44:18on a very big car.
44:20Nice one.
44:20Look at this.
44:21Look at this.
44:22Serious car.
44:23This is a Bentley
44:25and a large T.
44:27It was built with
44:28Volkswagen money
44:29but it's still very,
44:30very British.
44:32And you can tell that
44:33when you step inside
44:34because look,
44:35this is all loose
44:36and the key is very
44:39slow motion.
44:40But, you know,
44:42the doors on Westminster
44:43Abbey don't fit very well.
44:44Nobody seems to care
44:45about that.
44:46And that's the thing
44:46about Bentley.
44:48They have a different
44:49approach to everything.
45:01Most of the engines
45:03in today's big cars
45:04are 21st century
45:05fuel efficient tree huggers.
45:07But the 6¾ litre V8
45:11in this Bentley
45:11can trace its roots
45:12back to 1959.
45:15The trees wither
45:16when they hear it coming.
45:17It's big,
45:19Brunelian
45:19and unbelievably powerful.
45:34A few years ago
45:36when Bentley
45:36was still independent
45:37it tried to kill
45:38this engine off.
45:39But when Volkswagen
45:41came along
45:42they brought it back
45:43and added a couple
45:44of turbos
45:45for good measure.
45:47So what does it feel like
45:48then?
45:49All that power
45:50and talk.
45:54Well, you know
45:55what it's like
45:56when you're
45:57sitting outside
45:58on a hot,
45:59thundery
45:59summer's afternoon
46:00and it's like
46:01you can feel
46:02the weight of the sky.
46:03It's like an
46:03intangible presence.
46:06Well, that's what
46:06it's like
46:07driving an Ennage T.
46:13If Hollywood
46:14were to make a trailer
46:15for this car
46:16I know how it'd go.
46:17Bentley.
46:19Fear
46:20behind your
46:21wildest dreams.
46:23In a Bentley
46:24no one
46:25can hear you
46:26scream.
46:34You're constantly
46:35aware that
46:36if you were
46:36sitting in this car
46:37at a zebra crossing
46:38and you revved
46:39the engine
46:39anyone actually
46:40on the crossing
46:41would be sucked
46:42through the radiator
46:43grill and into
46:44the engine.
46:46Just driving along
46:47now you can feel
46:47it hoovering up
46:48leaves and small
46:49stones as it's
46:50going along
46:51eating the tarmac.
46:55You probably think
46:56there's nothing
46:56to be scared of.
46:57You probably think
46:58you can handle it
46:59like heroin
46:59but look
47:00I mean I'm going
47:0160 miles an hour
47:02just a little cough
47:04and we're doing
47:0570
47:05and then we're
47:06going 80
47:07and now we're
47:08doing 90
47:09and I'm starting
47:10to feel drowsy
47:10because it's so
47:11relaxing as we
47:12go past 100
47:13and 110
47:15and it isn't
47:22only fast
47:23in a straight line
47:24you ever wondered
47:25what Blenheim Palace
47:26would look like
47:27going sideways
47:29well I'll turn
47:30the traction control
47:31off
47:31and you need
47:32wonder no more.
47:46you couldn't do
47:47this in an Audi
47:48or a Mercedes
47:49driving the Bentley
47:51is like riding
47:52a Brontosaurus
47:53bareback
48:01actually make
48:02that a T-Rex
48:05hold on to
48:06your camera man
48:08what have you
48:08dropped the camera
48:09for?
48:10told you it was
48:10a frightening car
48:13so what we have
48:14here then
48:14is a three ton
48:15car that can do
48:160 to 60
48:17in five and a
48:18half seconds
48:19a stately home
48:20that can
48:20power slide
48:21Bentleys are
48:22supposed to be
48:23sporting
48:23but this is
48:24manic
48:25this is
48:26magnificent
48:29I therefore
48:30don't mind
48:30all these
48:31fiddly switches
48:32and this
48:32loose
48:33centre console
48:34if you want
48:35perfection
48:36buy a Mercedes
48:38or marry
48:39your accountant
49:00without a doubt
49:01this is
49:02my favourite
49:03of all
49:03the luxury
49:04barges
49:05that we've seen
49:05tonight
49:06even though
49:07there are a few
49:07things wrong
49:08with it
49:08first of all
49:09it suffered
49:10from total
49:11brake failure
49:11during the
49:12filming of
49:13that item
49:13secondly
49:14David Beckins
49:16got one
49:16and thirdly
49:17it costs
49:18exactly twice
49:19what you'd
49:19pay for an
49:20S-Class
49:20Mercedes-Benz
49:21but
49:22as we can
49:23see from
49:23this
49:24mathematical
49:24formula here
49:26Omega
49:26carry the
49:27one
49:28it is
49:28exactly
49:29twice
49:30the car
49:31no it is
49:32really
49:32the only
49:33thing that
49:33remains
49:33now for us
49:34to do
49:34is to
49:34find out
49:35how fast
49:36it goes
49:36around the
49:37track
49:37these are
49:38the times
49:38we've had
49:38so far
49:39the Westfield
49:39is leading
49:401 minute
49:4123 seconds
49:42the only
49:42problem is
49:43the Westfield
49:44weighs exactly
49:44the same
49:45as one
49:45of the
49:45indicator
49:46stalks
49:46in this
49:48let's see
49:48what happens
49:49over to you
49:49Mr. Stig
49:51here he is
49:52and he's off
49:58building up
49:59the 645
50:01pounds
50:01feet of
50:01torque
50:02and heading
50:02down to
50:03the first
50:03corner
50:03oh that's
50:04so fast
50:21right through
50:22the hammerhead
50:22the Bentley
50:23is struggling
50:24it doesn't
50:24have a
50:25limited slip
50:25differential
50:26look it's
50:27wet
50:27oh it's just
50:28spinning away
50:28all the power
50:29through
50:39two corners to go
50:41now
50:41baccarat and
50:42carpenter's curve
50:43123 to beat
50:45there he is
50:46how's it gonna go
50:47look at that
50:48and across the line
50:50in
50:511 minute
50:5214 seconds
50:54put a W
50:55there for wet
50:56now that's
50:57not particularly
50:58fast I admit
50:59for a car
50:59but it is
51:00very fast
51:01for a cathedral
51:03which it is
51:04god I love
51:05this thing
51:05I absolutely
51:06adore it
51:08right on
51:09last week's show
51:10we had the
51:10multi-million
51:11pound fully
51:12tricked up
51:12bond cars
51:13in the studio
51:13and they were
51:14fantastic
51:14and they set
51:15us thinking
51:16we invited you
51:17to send in
51:17your ideas
51:18for us to
51:18build a
51:19cut price
51:20bond car
51:20on a budget
51:21and I do
51:21mean a budget
51:22300 quid
51:23we've done it
51:24and this is it
51:25I can't say
51:26we used
51:26all of your
51:27ideas
51:27because some
51:28of them
51:28were frankly
51:28a bit scary
51:29but we gave
51:30all the good
51:30ones to our
51:31own cut price
51:31queue
51:32Ed China
51:32hello
51:33you are a
51:34tall one
51:34aren't you
51:35yes
51:35thank you
51:37very much
51:37he's created
51:38this
51:39it's a
51:40road rate
51:40100
51:41it's a
51:41gentleman's
51:41car
51:42it is
51:42in British
51:43racing
51:43green
51:43that's very
51:44apt for bond
51:45if you're
51:46wondering
51:46by the way
51:46where everyone's
51:47gone
51:48they're over
51:49there
51:49they sort of
51:50backed off
51:51but don't worry
51:52about us
51:52we'll be fine
51:53over here
51:54where the dangerous
51:55stuff is
51:56right
51:56talk us through
51:57it
51:57well I think
51:57the best thing
51:58is to get inside
51:59first of all
51:59so I'll open the door
52:00ordinary door handle
52:01that doesn't trigger
52:01anything
52:02this is alright
52:04in here actually
52:04it's not bad
52:05well again
52:05it's a standard
52:06rover dashboard
52:06but if you look
52:07next to the handbrake
52:08our first gizmo
52:09oh like another
52:10handbrake
52:10well another handbrake
52:11you'd think that
52:12of course
52:12and that's the idea
52:13of course
52:13now the thing is
52:14if you can imagine
52:14the scenario
52:15you're driving along
52:16minding your own business
52:16just going down
52:17to the shops
52:17whatever
52:18and suddenly
52:18maybe an assailant
52:19is behind you
52:20and they're giving you
52:21a bit of grief
52:22and a bit of road rage
52:23so the first thing
52:24to do is try
52:24and shed them
52:25so if you were
52:25to push the red button
52:26right what happens
52:27well we're going to
52:28shed thousands
52:29of balls behind us
52:29ok I'm going to
52:30press it now
52:30here we go
52:31give it a go
52:32oh my word
52:32what happened
52:33there's balls everywhere
52:34look at that
52:36now that'll see him off
52:37well obviously normally
52:38you might want to use
52:39maybe boiling oil
52:40fish fingers
52:40that sort of thing
52:41but balls are good
52:42now how did you make
52:43this just briefly
52:44well it was actually
52:45auntie Maud's panic button
52:46what the red button is
52:47that's right
52:48I mean she'll be okay
52:49so she presses that
52:50in a flat load of balls
52:51everywhere
52:51so I mean
52:52and this is a bit
52:53of bike cable
52:53so these are things
52:54you could build at home
52:55this is absolutely
52:56yes and kids
52:57try this at home
52:57right so
52:58now we've annoyed them
53:00so now the chances
53:01are they're going to
53:01be shooting at us
53:02they do that
53:03yeah and you see
53:03I suppose we need
53:05protection from that
53:06which causes the next
53:06gizmo
53:07right so we need
53:08oh you're putting
53:08goggles on
53:09because this is going
53:10to get dangerous now
53:11right ok
53:12well we need a villain
53:12to do this
53:13Jason where are you mate
53:14oh look at that
53:15he does look
53:16actually quite scary
53:20right so
53:21he's miffed
53:22ok
53:22and he's going to
53:23shoot at us
53:24fire away baddie
53:25fire away
53:26oh my word
53:27look at that
53:30fantastic
53:32that does look a lot
53:33like a tea tray
53:34well it is actually a tea
53:35tray but it's a bulletproof
53:36tea tray
53:36they're the best
53:37they are
53:38it cost us £6.50
53:39charity shop
53:40indeed charity shop
53:41came with a trolley
53:42as well
53:42which was quite nice
53:42oh well found
53:43well I'll retract that
53:44excellent
53:45I like the way
53:45the spoiler goes
53:46well now the thing is
53:47obviously now we've
53:48actually annoyed them
53:49even further
53:49they're really going to be close
53:50exactly so now
53:52fantastically stunning
53:52manoeuvre
53:53handbrake turn
53:54you now have them
53:55in front of them
53:55you have to blast them
53:56I'm facing them now
53:57you're facing them
53:58you're going to blast them
53:59out of the sky
53:59right ok
54:00so we've got guns
54:02we have guns
54:02but of course
54:03James Bond would use
54:04you know
54:05nasty little gizmos
54:06and little buttons
54:06we've got something
54:07a bit more classy
54:08fuzzy dice
54:09fluffy dice
54:10fluffy dice
54:10well these are the trigger
54:11this fires guns
54:13we need a target
54:13and I think Jeremy
54:14oh look
54:15perfect
54:16the perfect target
54:17I'm not the target
54:18but I have got you
54:20the perfect target
54:21Blofeld himself
54:23ready everyone
54:23oh look at that
54:25perfect
54:26right he can have it
54:27yes
54:28yes
54:28ho ho
54:32well done
54:37this is a very good job
54:39um
54:39aren't their paintball guns
54:41sort of
54:41they're hidden completely
54:42in there
54:43they are
54:43they're hidden inside the wings
54:44we've got
54:44triggered with these
54:45that's right
54:46well the way it's done
54:47because most paintball guns
54:48are actually done manually
54:49yeah
54:49we had to make kind of
54:50like a plastic finger
54:50and used a metro windscreen
54:52motor as a kind of a cog
54:53to actually flick it around
54:54so that's how they become
54:55yeah well
54:56it's very bond
54:57right well
54:58that's him pretty much sorted
54:59I'd say
55:00what about this fella here
55:01this is a bit more tricky
55:02I mean obviously normally
55:03etiquette would suggest
55:04you should ask him politely to leave
55:05but if none of those work
55:06then obviously what we need to do
55:07is vacate the vehicle ourselves
55:09right
55:09because we have another little trick
55:10up our seat
55:11oh right
55:11something awful's going to happen
55:12it is
55:13what we need to do
55:13is grab hold of this
55:15that seat was wet
55:16Ed
55:16I'm sorry
55:17it's very nice
55:18right I've got a
55:18I've got a doorbell
55:19we have
55:20it's a brass doorbell
55:21there's no expense
55:22spare
55:22so I think we're going to need to get
55:24a little bit further away
55:25from the vehicle
55:26exactly how far Ed
55:27well a little bit more than that
55:28so how dangerous
55:29how dangerous is this
55:31possibly a little bit more than that
55:32right
55:33that would probably be
55:34can I be as far as the audience
55:36because that might be not a bad idea
55:38right so
55:38and then
55:39it's this button here
55:41yep
55:41and we're asking one more time
55:42would you mind leaving my car villain
55:44no
55:44right
55:45have this
56:12you've got one more trick
56:14we have done violence
56:15we have done violence
56:16I think we need fire and brimstone next
56:17nice
56:17I like the sound of that
56:18and the bonk will be complete without some kind of rocket
56:20okay now this is
56:21this is
56:22well this is a drain pipe Ed
56:23it is a drain pipe
56:24yes you're right
56:25it's very well spotted
56:26it's something we can have a go at
56:27at home for us
56:28well it is
56:28well what you need of course
56:30is our fuel cleaning missile
56:32right
56:32okay
56:33this is some sort of rocket
56:34of course also
56:35there's always an opportunity
56:37when you're driving along
56:38you might actually have to run over these
56:39so of course you need a windproof lighter
56:40oh you've thought of everything
56:42so I've got one of these
56:43you've got one on your side
56:44I have indeed
56:44so what you have to do is
56:45open this little frappe
56:46open this
56:46and put this in here
56:48light it
56:48like so
56:49I'm going to put my goggles on as well
56:51while you get them
56:51that's not a bad idea
56:52it's very neat
56:53I'll put these on
56:54I don't think Bond wears these generally
56:59safety first
56:59I think mine are much smarter than yours
57:01I like my green tint
57:03windproof
57:03that's genius
57:04ready
57:05okay
57:05right
57:06I'm going
57:06this is really going to do
57:07I think we might have to stand back
57:08I'm going to stand back
57:10a very long way
57:23Ed!
57:29Ed!
57:29Ed!
57:29That was fantastic!
57:32Ed!
57:33I'm afraid we have to end it there
57:34we've got a lot of tidying up to do here
57:36and everywhere frankly
57:37and we've got to get some flowers
57:38and some cushions
57:39and some potpourri
57:40because we've got some girls
57:42coming on the show
57:42next week
57:44but don't worry
57:45we've also got a five and a half litre
57:47supercharged V8 Mercedes
57:50so we'll see you then
57:51good night
57:58more motors this Tuesday
58:00and again next Sunday
58:01at the same time
58:02what up next on BBC Prime
58:04the will to win
58:05just one of our human instincts
58:07we'll see you then
58:11on 이친
58:18on disney
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