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#TheGrandTour #OneForTheRoad #ClarksonHammondMay #FinalLap #ZimbabweSpecial

After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.

#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory

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Motor
Transcript
00:00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:39CastingWords
00:01:02Thank you everybody, thank you. Hello and welcome to what is a Grand Tour mini special. It's all based around
00:01:11here in this rather troubled part of the world.
00:01:14You've got Syria and Iraq and Iran sort of at the bottom and then at the top. You've got Russia,
00:01:19but in between you have this sliver of peace and prosperity.
00:01:25And that got us thinking. You see, if you live on the shores of the Black Sea and you're partial
00:01:31to a bit of fish, you're fine. But what if you like bream?
00:01:37See, bream likes fresh water and the Black Sea is salty. Nearest fresh water is all the way over here
00:01:44in the Caspian. And that is a thousand kilometres away.
00:01:48Yeah, so we were wondering, if you have to drive all that way for your supper, what would be the
00:01:55best car?
00:01:56Obviously, you'd need some sort of GT, but which one? The new Aston Martin DBS, the new Bentley Continental GT
00:02:04or the newer BMW 8 Series?
00:02:07Now, this is exactly the sort of question this show was designed to answer.
00:02:13So, this week, we took the Grand Tour to Batumi in the former Soviet state of Georgia.
00:02:37The meeting point was on the shores of the Black Sea, and naturally enough, James May was the last to
00:02:44arrive in the new BMW 8 Series.
00:02:50God, it doesn't look anything like as good in the flesh as it does in the pictures.
00:02:55It is disappointing in the metal. I'm afraid that's the case.
00:02:58And brown!
00:02:59What?
00:03:00Brown!
00:03:01It's sunburst orange.
00:03:02Mate, that's a brown car.
00:03:04It's sunburst orange.
00:03:05It's brown!
00:03:06Orange!
00:03:07And it looks very like a Toyota.
00:03:09Is it on delivery wheels? Are they specially for delivering it?
00:03:12What are you talking about?
00:03:13Those little wheels that they can move it around on.
00:03:15That's what I mean. Well, they're not big enough, are they?
00:03:17Can you have a 22-inch wheel?
00:03:19No.
00:03:19Why not?
00:03:20Well, why would you want a 22-inch wheel?
00:03:21Because then it would spoil the ride.
00:03:22It would fill the arches.
00:03:24Yeah.
00:03:24Oh, oh, oh! And I suspect...
00:03:28Criminal offence.
00:03:29What?
00:03:29Anyone who puts an M badge on a BMW that isn't an MBMW has to go to prison.
00:03:34So this is one of those M cars that isn't an M car.
00:03:37It isn't an M car, is it?
00:03:38No, it's not the M8.
00:03:39Why does it say M on it?
00:03:40Because it's the M Sport in effect.
00:03:42So M Sport just means not an M, doesn't it?
00:03:45But it's in between the M and the normal cars.
00:03:48That's why you have M Sport 5 Series, for example.
00:03:50This is like Elton John's Greatest Tits, without your song or Tiny Dancer on it.
00:03:55James, I don't want to be childish about this now, but I hate...
00:03:58Do you not?
00:03:59I hate your...
00:03:59But you're going to.
00:04:00I hate your gear lever.
00:04:01I love it.
00:04:02Look at it.
00:04:03I think that's fantastic.
00:04:04And the rest, it's horrible gear lever in a boring interior.
00:04:07That's contemporary and tasteful.
00:04:09Let's have a look at yours.
00:04:10What have you got?
00:04:11Oh, you've got the new Bentley that's the same as the old Bentley.
00:04:14Apart from a completely new car.
00:04:16Yeah, but it looks the same.
00:04:17It doesn't look the same.
00:04:18It's a different front end, different sides.
00:04:20Oh, no, it looks like an event door.
00:04:22It's a completely new car.
00:04:25This monochrome Union Jack, applied by Germans.
00:04:28Yes.
00:04:29There is some German...
00:04:31Chassis?
00:04:31German.
00:04:32Yeah.
00:04:33Engine?
00:04:33Yeah.
00:04:34German?
00:04:34Yeah.
00:04:35Oh, no!
00:04:36The Germans have done all the tech and engineering.
00:04:39That'll...
00:04:39No, wait, it'll be brilliant.
00:04:41Oh!
00:04:41What?
00:04:43It's a bit...
00:04:44It's beautiful.
00:04:45I use the word advisor.
00:04:46It's a bit camp.
00:04:46That is a special...
00:04:48It is.
00:04:49What's camp about that?
00:04:50More pleated and leathery and...
00:04:52It does give good occasion, that.
00:04:54That is a special event.
00:04:56Does Liberace pop up out of the centre console and play the piano for you?
00:05:00You see, the reason I'm not having a go at your interior is my Aston has been delivered
00:05:05with Birmingham spec.
00:05:08That's horrible.
00:05:09Oh, that's quite vivid, isn't it?
00:05:10I mean, worryingly, for you, I quite like that.
00:05:15You like that, exactly.
00:05:16So, this is, um, it's a DB11.
00:05:19Well, no, it's the DBS.
00:05:23Superleggera.
00:05:24Because it's very light, isn't it?
00:05:25Is it?
00:05:25That's what superleggera means, yeah?
00:05:26It's 72 kilograms lighter than a DB11.
00:05:30And no more expensive.
00:05:32Well, it's a bit more expensive.
00:05:33How much more expensive?
00:05:34It's 67,000 pounds more than a DB11.
00:05:38And how much is it?
00:05:39A lot.
00:05:40Is it something like a quarter of a million pounds?
00:05:42No!
00:05:43What is it, then?
00:05:44A little bit less.
00:05:46230?
00:05:47A bit less.
00:05:48225?
00:05:49Yes.
00:05:49Mine's 100,000 pounds.
00:05:51It's contemporary and it's modern.
00:05:52There's no good thing, oh, it looks Japanese, as if that's a slur.
00:05:55The Japanese advanced the car massively in the last century.
00:05:59Eventually, we decided to stop arguing and drive from here, on the Black Sea, right through
00:06:05Georgia and Azerbaijan, to the Caspian, for a nice piece of grilled weep.
00:06:25What it is, I've no idea what to expect on this journey.
00:06:29I mean, I've seen the Grand Prix from Azerbaijan and I've seen Borat.
00:06:35Which is it?
00:06:37I don't know what the roads are going to be like.
00:06:38I mean, should we be doing this in pickup trucks or tanks?
00:06:43I mean, this is the former Soviet Union.
00:06:47Look it, but it is.
00:06:52Whatever.
00:06:52The roads at this point were fine, so we could get to know our cars.
00:06:58The question I really want to answer on this journey is this.
00:07:02How can the DBS be worth £67,000 more than the DB11, when, from where I'm sitting, they appear
00:07:12to be exactly the same?
00:07:14At first, you're forced to say, well, it isn't.
00:07:18This interior simply isn't good enough in a £225,000 car.
00:07:23Just not even close.
00:07:25You look at the Bentley and you go, that is an interior.
00:07:28It's chintzy, but it's fabulous.
00:07:33However, as we left the city, the DBS's true colours started to shine through.
00:07:43This is by far the most powerful car here, and the lightest, and the most sort of aggressive.
00:07:49And yet, it just glides along.
00:07:52In GT mode, which I'm in now, Grand Touring mode, it's like a hovercraft.
00:08:01I'm driving a twin-turbocharged V12, that can go 211 miles an hour, and I can whisper at 70.
00:08:13But when you shift from GT mode to sport mode, it's a very different animal.
00:08:19Ready?
00:08:34Right, there's a small difference there between the DB-11 and this.
00:08:42I'm afraid you're going to have to face facts, both of you.
00:08:45You're in wheelbarrows, and I'm in a spaceship.
00:08:49Ah, an old man imagining he's James Bond.
00:08:58The thing is, if we're going to talk about long-legged, luxurious, continent-crossing GT cars,
00:09:03we're talking about Bentleys.
00:09:05They're the definitive GTs.
00:09:08Whisper quiet, velvety smooth, a hint of massive power waiting.
00:09:14626 horsepower, under my right foot.
00:09:23Oh, my word.
00:09:33But, the GT car, first and foremost, it's got to be a nice place to be,
00:09:37because, by definition, you're going to spend a lot of time in it,
00:09:41and this is a fine place to be.
00:09:45This finish on the centre console, this metal here, is aluminium,
00:09:49which has been milled in the same way that they mill aluminium inserts
00:09:53in the back of expensive watches.
00:09:56If I press this button here, I can rotate between my different screens.
00:10:00Oh, analogue dials and clocks in the centre of the dash.
00:10:05Oh, ho, ho, ho.
00:10:08The problem for me with the Bentley and the Aston
00:10:10is that they're actually a bit too hung up on being British.
00:10:14It is a bit of a British disease.
00:10:16We can't shake it off.
00:10:17We're obsessed with phony heritage and the meaning of tradition,
00:10:20and it's all just nonsense, really.
00:10:23Actually, if you want to talk about heritage and traditions,
00:10:27then the BMW has the strongest.
00:10:29It's still made in Munich by the same company.
00:10:31They make their own bits.
00:10:34And some of those bits are very good.
00:10:38It has a 4.4-litre twin-turbocharged V8,
00:10:42developing 523 horsepower.
00:10:48It also has four-wheel drive, rear-wheel steering,
00:10:51and adaptive anti-roll bike.
00:10:53It has an eight-speed gearbox.
00:10:55It's not twin-clutch, but it is flappy paddle,
00:10:57and it is very sharp.
00:11:00There we go, probably down to three.
00:11:04This is a proper car.
00:11:07Not tinsel.
00:11:12After James had finished his interesting lecture
00:11:15on what's wrong with Britain,
00:11:17I started to think about buying some fruit.
00:11:21Anybody need a lemon?
00:11:24No, I'm all right, thanks.
00:11:26I don't want to...
00:11:27Hang on, they've all had the same idea here, look.
00:11:30Lemons on the rise.
00:11:32There can't be another lemon stall.
00:11:35Seriously, it is more lemons.
00:11:38Why doesn't someone go,
00:11:39right, everyone is selling lemons on this piece of road,
00:11:42we're going to sell furniture.
00:11:45Also, as a general rule,
00:11:46you don't need many lemons.
00:11:48Whatever you're making,
00:11:48we must have driven past...
00:11:50What, 10,000?
00:11:51There's some more here on the right.
00:11:54Well, it's one evening
00:11:55with Richard Hammond's gin and tonic, it takes.
00:12:01Just trying out the voice activation system,
00:12:04always worth a laugh.
00:12:06Enter country.
00:12:08Please say the name of the country.
00:12:11Georgia.
00:12:14I don't want to go to Malta, no.
00:12:18Please say the name of the country.
00:12:20Georgia.
00:12:22Please say the name of the desired country.
00:12:25Georgia.
00:12:27Please say the name of a country.
00:12:30For example, England.
00:12:32Georgia.
00:12:33Please say the name of the desired country.
00:12:36Say the name of the country as one word.
00:12:39For example, France.
00:12:41Yes.
00:12:42Georgia.
00:12:44Cancel.
00:12:47Even though our cars didn't recognise Georgia
00:12:50as a country,
00:12:51we soon arrived in the town of Gory,
00:12:54the birthplace of Joseph Stalin.
00:13:00Look at that.
00:13:01Is that a Stalin museum?
00:13:03Can we just have a look?
00:13:05Yeah, we can have a look.
00:13:06The trouble is,
00:13:07when you tend to go into a building owned by Stalin,
00:13:09you rarely come out again.
00:13:11In the museum grounds we found the house where the Soviet dictator grew up.
00:13:18So Stalin sat at that table in the morning when he was a little boy.
00:13:50Yes.
00:13:52He's right here in his little shorts and his little moustache.
00:13:56That is really weird, though, isn't it, what started in here.
00:14:01I've broken Stalin's house.
00:14:04Jeez, I'm going to the gulag.
00:14:06James!
00:14:09I've broken Stalin's house.
00:14:14Outside, we checked out the statue of Stalin,
00:14:18which that night caused a debate between, well, two of us.
00:14:26The man who beat Hitler is from your towns, obviously,
00:14:30as they have done.
00:14:31You put up a statue to him.
00:14:32But then it turns out that he's an even bigger mass murderer,
00:14:37so do you take it down?
00:14:38Hey, it's tricky, that one.
00:14:41That's very tricky.
00:14:42Can we talk about our cars?
00:14:44No.
00:14:45Well, I'm not interested in the war.
00:14:48Well, it's more than the war, Hammond.
00:14:49This is sort of a pivotal bit of 20th century history.
00:14:52It affected the whole world.
00:14:55Right, well, I'm off to bed.
00:14:56What?
00:14:57I'm off to bed.
00:14:58Is it bed?
00:14:59I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning.
00:15:00We must have bored him, because he's left some of his gin and tonic.
00:15:04After some more considered debate about the town's Stalin problems,
00:15:08I had and brainwave.
00:15:12I'll tell you what.
00:15:13That statue, maybe we could take it down for them.
00:15:17Make up their minds for them.
00:15:19Exactly.
00:15:20Do you know what it's like?
00:15:21Because this whole town, big dilemma.
00:15:23Do you know what it's like?
00:15:24It's like someone who has an old piece of furniture
00:15:27that they don't really like,
00:15:28but they can't throw it away because it was their grandma's.
00:15:31Well.
00:15:31Well, we'll go and throw it away for them.
00:15:33And then they're actually glad.
00:15:34Because there's no question they shouldn't have a statue.
00:15:37Of course they shouldn't have.
00:15:37I mean, I can't remember the town in Austria,
00:15:40not Germany, where Hitler was born.
00:15:41I bet they haven't got a statue to them.
00:15:43I bet there isn't one to pull for it.
00:15:45And so, that night,
00:15:47when the town's people were fast asleep...
00:15:53Kill the lights.
00:15:55Hang on.
00:15:56Where is it?
00:15:58I may have overdone that.
00:16:00I meant turn them off.
00:16:02Can you put the ladder on?
00:16:04No, not this front.
00:16:05No, you go up the ladder.
00:16:07It's on the back.
00:16:07I know, put it on the back.
00:16:08That is his back.
00:16:11Right.
00:16:11Right.
00:16:30The next morning, as we were saddling up,
00:16:33Richard Hammond had a question.
00:16:36Why have you put Nigel Mansell's head on my bonnet?
00:16:40I thought you'd like it.
00:16:42You know,
00:16:43British racing driver,
00:16:44British car,
00:16:45I thought it'd be appropriate.
00:16:46It's a bold statement, isn't it?
00:16:47So you've got a famous Brummie in the car
00:16:49and on the front of the car.
00:17:05Nigel Mansell must have been a big name, Randy.
00:17:08A lot of people are looking at him.
00:17:10Was Nigel Mansell popular?
00:17:12Yes.
00:17:14Global superstar, mate.
00:17:16Global superstar.
00:17:16They love him.
00:17:17Why are people pointing?
00:17:19Yeah, I just...
00:17:19They must have been into racing or something.
00:17:22Did Nigel ever race a Bentley?
00:17:25Obviously, Williams is what he's famous for.
00:17:28Oh, yeah.
00:17:28That might be what's confusing people.
00:17:30That's why they look puzzled.
00:17:32I'd quite like to be Richard Hammond.
00:17:35Life is so much simpler.
00:17:38Our next destination was a racetrack 70 miles away.
00:17:43And because James and I had racist sat-navs,
00:17:46we were taking guidance from the man up front,
00:17:50which was a mistake.
00:17:52Hammond, we've definitely been round here before.
00:17:56If you wanted me to be in charge of navigation,
00:17:58you shouldn't have glued Nigel Mansell's head to my bonnet.
00:18:01I'm trying.
00:18:03Eventually, Hammond managed to stumble
00:18:05across the highway leading out of town.
00:18:08But things didn't really get any better.
00:18:13Why are we going so slowly?
00:18:15I mean, I'm being overtaken by trucks.
00:18:19Well, Nigel Mansell's head gets in the way of road signs,
00:18:22and I have to sort of crane round him to see them,
00:18:25and I don't want to miss them.
00:18:26There was a sign there to Tehran, which is in Iran.
00:18:29We're not going to Iran.
00:18:31Well, I don't know.
00:18:32I can't see the bloody signs because of Nigel.
00:18:37Now I've been overtaken by an orange van.
00:18:40Everybody filming us.
00:18:42This is embarrassing.
00:18:43We're going to be all over the news.
00:18:45Hammond's going to read it and say,
00:18:46that wasn't Nigel Mansell, you bastards.
00:18:50It was somebody called Josephine Starlin.
00:18:54Eventually, I found what I reckoned was our turn-off.
00:18:58It's down here.
00:18:59It's not down here.
00:19:02We'll get down this bit,
00:19:03and then there'll be a bigger road again,
00:19:04and we'll be there.
00:19:06And that is exactly what didn't happen.
00:19:16Oh, Hammond!
00:19:18Oh, I've just grounded out!
00:19:21Yeah, that happens a lot on main roads.
00:19:24The DBS is actually five millimetres lower than the DB11,
00:19:29which, of course, is marvellous on a road like this.
00:19:35Still, at least things soon got worse.
00:19:40That man is armed.
00:19:43Another man with a machine gun.
00:19:47Okay, a lot of people with machine guns.
00:19:54A local then explained to me exactly where we were.
00:19:59It's the border that isn't a border.
00:20:02If you look on here, right, we're here.
00:20:05Yeah.
00:20:06Yeah?
00:20:06That is the border between Georgia and Russia,
00:20:10as recognised by most people in the world.
00:20:14But the Russians reckon it's here.
00:20:19So, what they do is they put this barbed-by fence up.
00:20:24At night, they move it.
00:20:27Right.
00:20:28The Russians move it.
00:20:30The Russians move it.
00:20:31So you go to bed at night, you're living in Georgia.
00:20:34You wake up in the morning, you're Russian.
00:20:37But people live here, and this is a sort of rural spot in the middle of nowhere.
00:20:41Why did somebody do this in Ross-on-White, where I live?
00:20:44What if they said that you work at the Welsh side, isn't it?
00:20:46Yeah, it's about the same sort of distance.
00:20:48Right, you're in Wales.
00:20:50We then met an actual casualty of this border dispute.
00:20:57So, are you Georgian?
00:21:30Well, could you come across here, then?
00:21:32Well, could you come across here, then?
00:21:57Sadly, because we're the Grand Tourant, not the United Nations,
00:22:01all we could do was remove Nigel Mansell's head,
00:22:06sack Hammond as navigator,
00:22:09and resume our search for the racetrack.
00:22:15And once we found the right road,
00:22:18James started to attract some special friends in their BMWs.
00:22:24Holy moly!
00:22:27Have you seen what's sticking out of the bonnet of that thing?
00:22:35He's an emeritus professor at Tbilisi University,
00:22:38so he's Latin and ancient Greek.
00:22:43Oh, James, there's another one!
00:22:45Oh, this one's even better!
00:22:50I've never felt more like a Gooseberry Hammond.
00:22:52I know what you mean,
00:22:55and we're spoiling the moment for them.
00:23:00Oh, this is great!
00:23:04They're everywhere!
00:23:08Having parted company with James' fan club,
00:23:11we eventually arrived at the racetrack.
00:23:24Built in the days of communism,
00:23:27it hosted some terrible and boring races
00:23:30until the Soviet Union and it fell apart.
00:23:36A few years ago, though,
00:23:38it was brought back to life.
00:23:47We've got to remember,
00:23:50715 horsepower is
00:23:52a huge amount.
00:23:55That is a cathedral of power.
00:23:59119, 122, 129, 136.
00:24:03Oh, that's so quick!
00:24:05And the best thing is,
00:24:07it's old school.
00:24:08All of that power goes to the rear wheels.
00:24:11There's no four-wheel drive,
00:24:13there's no four-wheel steering,
00:24:15there's no fancy trickery.
00:24:17Oh, look at this.
00:24:19Drifting with the traction control on.
00:24:25Yes.
00:24:27I like this.
00:24:28And with the traction control off,
00:24:31I liked it even more.
00:24:43The VV11 was the first Aston I've ever driven
00:24:46that felt good on a track.
00:24:52This is the second.
00:24:57Jesus, what a car!
00:25:02Richard Hammond driving around
00:25:03in Chatsworth House here.
00:25:09This engine,
00:25:10this twin-turbo 6-litre W12,
00:25:12is actually the all-new engine
00:25:15out of the Bentayga,
00:25:16but set up specially for this car,
00:25:18putting out 626 brake horsepower.
00:25:21And it's mounted further back
00:25:22in the car than before,
00:25:23and the front wheels are further forwards,
00:25:25which gets it closer
00:25:26to 50-50 weight distribution.
00:25:28And there's the key word,
00:25:30weight.
00:25:31There's a lot of it.
00:25:33Two and a quarter tons of it.
00:25:35So for it to stand a chance
00:25:37of doing anything sporting,
00:25:39it's all about controlling that weight.
00:25:42To do that,
00:25:44Bentley has equipped the Continental
00:25:45with an arsenal of high-tech weapons.
00:25:49Torque vectoring,
00:25:51four-wheel drive,
00:25:52super-fast adaptive suspension,
00:25:54and active dips.
00:25:58All of which means
00:25:59this big old Hector
00:26:01can, to use appropriate
00:26:02Bentley parlance,
00:26:04pick up its skirts
00:26:05and run.
00:26:08Oh, lovely!
00:26:15The guy who designs
00:26:17a trashing control
00:26:18for this car
00:26:18is apparently
00:26:19a drifting champion.
00:26:21And you can tell
00:26:23he's built a Bentley
00:26:24for himself.
00:26:30I swear...
00:26:33It's indecent
00:26:35asking it to do that.
00:26:37Meanwhile,
00:26:38in the BMW,
00:26:39I too had been
00:26:40leaning on the electronics.
00:26:44Previously on the road,
00:26:45I had this set up
00:26:46in my version of Sport,
00:26:47which you can programme,
00:26:48and I had the steering on comfort
00:26:50and the ride on comfort.
00:26:51But now,
00:26:52I have it in Sport Plus.
00:26:57I have the least power,
00:26:59523.
00:27:00I have the lowest
00:27:01power-to-weight ratio.
00:27:04It's a meaty engine
00:27:05with lots of low-down grump.
00:27:07I can dig deep.
00:27:12Combine that
00:27:12with the four-wheel drive
00:27:13and the four-wheel steering,
00:27:15and the 8 Series
00:27:16is exactly what you'd expect.
00:27:21It's easy.
00:27:22It's a BMW.
00:27:23It feels like a BMW.
00:27:25It's so easy, in fact,
00:27:27that while going past the pits,
00:27:29I notice something.
00:27:31There's a bloke
00:27:32with a stopwatch there.
00:27:33Does that mean
00:27:33they're actually taking time?
00:27:35I presume it does.
00:27:36They were,
00:27:37so all of us
00:27:38decided to concentrate
00:27:40on some hot laps.
00:27:43Bouncing over the curbs there.
00:27:47Unleashing it.
00:27:48And bang!
00:27:50More speed!
00:27:54Come on, come on,
00:27:55turn.
00:27:56Great.
00:27:59The brakes.
00:28:01The turn-in.
00:28:02The acceleration.
00:28:05All absolutely brilliant.
00:28:11What happens here?
00:28:14Stay-wide dab of brakes.
00:28:18Now beam it.
00:28:21Is this the fast one
00:28:22or the slow one?
00:28:25God, it can pick up.
00:28:26It just charges.
00:28:29It just charges.
00:28:32460 in 3.4 seconds,
00:28:34which is absolutely mind-boggling
00:28:37in a car this big.
00:28:40Send it in.
00:28:43Oh, collecting a bit of the curb.
00:28:48These brakes are going to get hot.
00:28:50These are the largest steel brakes
00:28:51on any production car,
00:28:53but I'm still asking a lot of them.
00:28:59Eventually, we pitted
00:29:00to see how we'd done.
00:29:02No surprises here.
00:29:04Come on.
00:29:05Aston was the fastest.
00:29:06No, but obviously
00:29:07by an enormous margin.
00:29:09Two minutes, yes?
00:29:10Two minutes dead pretty much.
00:29:11Faster by two minutes.
00:29:12Oh, right.
00:29:12No, no, no.
00:29:13Two minutes.
00:29:13Here's the interesting one, though.
00:29:15The former president of Georgia,
00:29:16when this track was reopened
00:29:18a few years ago,
00:29:19he set a time...
00:29:20Did he?
00:29:21Yeah, in a Formula 3 car.
00:29:23Two minutes, five, dead.
00:29:26That's the president of Georgia.
00:29:28So, James May.
00:29:29Yes.
00:29:30Were you faster or slower,
00:29:32do you think,
00:29:33than the president of Georgia?
00:29:34Do I have to be
00:29:35the president of Georgia
00:29:36if I was faster?
00:29:37I'm going to say I was slower.
00:29:39You're absolutely right.
00:29:41But here's something interesting.
00:29:43You were only 0.8 of a second
00:29:45slower than the president of Georgia,
00:29:47and he was in a Formula 3 car.
00:29:48Do you think you were faster
00:29:50than the president of Georgia?
00:29:51I'll be honest,
00:29:52I'd very, very much like to have been.
00:29:55James May, you did 205.8.
00:29:57Yes.
00:29:57Richard Hammond.
00:29:58Yes.
00:29:58Two minutes.
00:29:59Yes.
00:30:01Four.
00:30:020.8.
00:30:03So you're only a second quicker.
00:30:04That's the closest you two have ever been here.
00:30:07That is, that is.
00:30:07Hold on, hold on.
00:30:09Text.
00:30:10Oh, God, Mr. Willman.
00:30:12How does he know
00:30:13when we're all sitting around?
00:30:14It's uncanny.
00:30:16Go on, then.
00:30:16Right.
00:30:17I've seen how fast you can go
00:30:18in your cars on a flying lap.
00:30:20Yes.
00:30:21Now we shall see
00:30:22how fast you can go
00:30:23when you're bursting for a pee.
00:30:25What?
00:30:26Really?
00:30:27Well, each of you
00:30:28will drink three pints of water,
00:30:30wait 20 minutes
00:30:32and then see
00:30:33how much
00:30:34your times improve.
00:30:41Soon, we were ready
00:30:42to begin the test.
00:30:45Right, so we drink these
00:30:46and then
00:30:47when we've drunk all three,
00:30:48start the timer.
00:30:49Yeah.
00:30:58That's disgusting.
00:31:01It's just revolting, this stuff.
00:31:06Women drink this, you know,
00:31:07for fun.
00:31:12Couldn't have you done it with wine?
00:31:14Shut up.
00:31:18Oh, God.
00:31:18You're finished.
00:31:19Going.
00:31:20How have you done that?
00:31:22Why are you so far ahead of me?
00:31:30Thing is,
00:31:30this is quite an interesting test
00:31:32because
00:31:33when I drive normally,
00:31:34I drive on the motorway
00:31:35at 70 miles an hour.
00:31:36Of course you do.
00:31:37When I need a pee,
00:31:38I'll do 180.
00:31:39This test is unfair.
00:31:41Why is it?
00:31:42Well,
00:31:42my capacity is smaller than you two.
00:31:45Plus,
00:31:46it's got to go
00:31:47less distance to my stomach
00:31:48then less distance to my bladder
00:31:49and then less distance to my jab.
00:31:51But.
00:31:51What?
00:31:52We're older.
00:31:53Yes.
00:31:53And you have wooden bladders.
00:31:55When you get older,
00:31:56younger viewers may be interested in this,
00:31:57it comes on more suddenly,
00:31:59doesn't it?
00:32:00I can do the night still.
00:32:01I don't need to get up in the night.
00:32:03Mind you, that's prostate cancer, isn't it?
00:32:05Is it?
00:32:06It is.
00:32:07You know with prostate cancer,
00:32:08they tell you
00:32:09you've got to put your finger
00:32:10in your back bottom
00:32:11and have a rummage about.
00:32:12Now,
00:32:12never having done that,
00:32:14I don't know
00:32:15what it should feel like normally,
00:32:17so I don't know.
00:32:18No, it's the doctor.
00:32:18That's why you get the doctor to do it.
00:32:19The doctor does it.
00:32:20No, it says check yourself.
00:32:21You know,
00:32:22back onto your own digit.
00:32:23That's what it says.
00:32:24It's what it says.
00:32:25It's what the posters say.
00:32:26Check your anus.
00:32:27I've never seen a poster
00:32:28that says,
00:32:29shove your finger up your arse.
00:32:30Well, I've never understood it
00:32:31because it does say in the adverts,
00:32:33check yourself for prostate cancer.
00:32:34No, you check yourself
00:32:35for testicular cancer,
00:32:36you spanner.
00:32:38You rummage your nuts
00:32:39about to make sure there's no,
00:32:40that you can do.
00:32:41No, that's what you tell your wife.
00:32:43Mercifully,
00:32:44my 20-minute wait was soon over.
00:32:46Four,
00:32:46three,
00:32:47two,
00:32:48one,
00:32:49goodbye.
00:32:52Oh, no,
00:32:53that hurts.
00:32:54Oh.
00:32:54Oh.
00:32:57Three,
00:32:57two,
00:32:58one,
00:32:59I'm out of here.
00:33:00Good luck.
00:33:01Oh,
00:33:01it's his starting.
00:33:03Oh, no,
00:33:03running's unwise.
00:33:12I don't need a waz.
00:33:14I don't need a waz.
00:33:18Oh, God,
00:33:19it's interfering.
00:33:22Oh,
00:33:23oh,
00:33:24come on,
00:33:25come on.
00:33:27Come on.
00:33:37I'm not thinking about it.
00:33:39I'm just not thinking about it.
00:33:43Need a waz.
00:33:45Braking,
00:33:45braking hard.
00:33:47Oh,
00:33:48it's worth going through the corners
00:33:50because it all sloshes to one side.
00:33:52Oh, God.
00:33:55Oh.
00:33:58If Williams have given their drivers three pints of water before every race last year,
00:34:05they'd have won everything.
00:34:09Oh, God,
00:34:10I'm living in my bladder.
00:34:13Don't relax.
00:34:18I'm never going to make it.
00:34:23Oh.
00:34:35That'll do.
00:34:36That'll do.
00:34:37oh,
00:34:38ah,
00:34:38ah,
00:34:39ah,
00:34:40can't run.
00:34:43It's going to happen.
00:34:44It's going to happen.
00:34:45What?
00:34:46Who's in there?
00:34:48James.
00:34:48I'm having a bugger off.
00:34:49I'm having a waz.
00:34:50Hurry up.
00:34:51I'm having a waz.
00:34:52Just hurry up.
00:34:53I'm going to go in a minute.
00:34:55Oh,
00:34:55he's,
00:34:55ha.
00:34:56Right,
00:34:57that's it.
00:34:57Let me in.
00:34:58Oh,
00:34:59God,
00:34:59there's more.
00:35:00Oh,
00:35:01God.
00:35:02It's just awful.
00:35:04Listen,
00:35:04mate,
00:35:05James is in there,
00:35:06and I'm first.
00:35:08You ain't getting in ahead of me.
00:35:10It's fine,
00:35:10isn't it?
00:35:11No way.
00:35:12It is awful,
00:35:12though,
00:35:12when you get to the door,
00:35:13your body's saying,
00:35:15yes,
00:35:15time to go,
00:35:16but then you can't.
00:35:17Stop talking.
00:35:18Why are you bothered,
00:35:19anyway?
00:35:20Well,
00:35:21I solved the problem,
00:35:22second corner.
00:35:23Oh,
00:35:24yeah.
00:35:24So,
00:35:24yeah.
00:35:27I'm having a waz.
00:35:28You say,
00:35:29no,
00:35:29I've got the times.
00:35:30It's quite interesting.
00:35:31You were a second slower
00:35:32on that lap.
00:35:35Do you think you were faster
00:35:37or slower?
00:35:38I don't care.
00:35:40Richard Hammond,
00:35:42your original lap,
00:35:43two minutes,
00:35:444.8.
00:35:45Your new lap,
00:35:48two minutes,
00:35:49yes,
00:35:49whatever.
00:35:520.5.
00:35:53You were slower as well.
00:35:54I was concentrating on
00:35:55not doing what you've done.
00:35:56Yeah,
00:35:57well,
00:35:57that's interesting,
00:35:58because I did what I did,
00:35:59look at that.
00:36:00How interesting is that?
00:36:01Exactly the same.
00:36:01I mean,
00:36:01I was basically...
00:36:03James!
00:36:03Hurry up!
00:36:04I was 0.3 of a second slower,
00:36:06but basically the same.
00:36:14After our important day's work,
00:36:17I cleaned myself up
00:36:18and we headed into Tbilisi,
00:36:21Georgia's capital,
00:36:22for something you can only get
00:36:25in this country.
00:36:28You see,
00:36:28the thing is,
00:36:29America gave the world aviation,
00:36:32Germany gave it the car,
00:36:33Britain gave it the internet,
00:36:35but Georgia's contribution
00:36:36was much more profound
00:36:39and important.
00:36:40You see,
00:36:41Georgia gave the world
00:36:44wine.
00:36:47They've been making wine in Georgia
00:36:49for 4,000 years.
00:36:52It's such a big thing here.
00:36:54They now have spas
00:36:55where you can bathe in it.
00:37:05How does it feel?
00:37:07Tremendous.
00:37:08This is wine.
00:37:10That's the great thing about that.
00:37:12He doesn't need a plug.
00:37:13No.
00:37:14He will simply lower himself down
00:37:16and consume his bath water.
00:37:19If I were to take the plug out now,
00:37:21would you panic
00:37:21and try and drink it all
00:37:22before it went away?
00:37:23Hang on.
00:37:24I just need to rinse my hair.
00:37:25Hold on a minute.
00:37:26He's actually going to wash his hair in wine.
00:37:28Oh, no, he isn't.
00:37:30Oh, God,
00:37:31I've got some in my mouth.
00:37:32James,
00:37:33do not fall asleep in the bath.
00:37:34OK.
00:37:35He's going to.
00:37:38I can relax.
00:37:51The next morning,
00:37:53we went for a drive
00:37:54round Tbilisi,
00:37:55one of the coolest cities
00:37:56we'd ever been to.
00:38:02Who is this on his horse?
00:38:05According to the sign,
00:38:06it's King David the Builder.
00:38:09What?
00:38:10Better than Eric the Chemist.
00:38:13Last builder I had working on the house
00:38:15didn't look like that
00:38:16and he certainly didn't turn up on a horse.
00:38:20We then found a flea market
00:38:22and decided to test the boot space
00:38:24in our Grand Tauras
00:38:25by picking up a few souvenirs.
00:38:33I'm not sure they would have been able
00:38:34to win a war like this.
00:38:37This is a Russian wall clock.
00:38:41It says Moscow on the dial.
00:38:42It works.
00:38:45Is it a Soviet one?
00:38:46Yeah.
00:38:47A Soviet cine camera.
00:38:49Now, come on.
00:38:55How much is the record player?
00:38:58We're going to do a selfie.
00:39:02I love the way that they've captured
00:39:03the lustfulness of the lady dog
00:39:06and the wistfulness of James.
00:39:11Having done our shopping,
00:39:12Hammond and I were soon back at our cars
00:39:14and filling up the boots.
00:39:18What have you bought?
00:39:19A giant pair of jugs.
00:39:21Georgian wine jugs.
00:39:23Do you know what the Georgian is for wine jugs?
00:39:25No.
00:39:26Norks.
00:39:27Is it?
00:39:27Yeah.
00:39:28Is it?
00:39:28So you've got two giant norks.
00:39:30A guitar and a clock
00:39:31and I'm very pleased with the purchases.
00:39:34What's with the trombone or whatever it is?
00:39:36It won't fit.
00:39:37With my record player and my bird
00:39:39and my gas bar.
00:39:41That's a striking piece.
00:39:42We'll put it on the back seat.
00:39:43It's small.
00:39:45The back seat will accommodate that.
00:39:47No.
00:39:47It's going to be critical.
00:39:49Oh, my God.
00:39:50There you go.
00:39:50Told you you would.
00:39:51Do Aston Martin describe that as a back seat?
00:39:54Yes.
00:39:55I wouldn't call it a leather pouch.
00:40:00I can't argue.
00:40:01I can't argue with him.
00:40:03It's not acceptable.
00:40:04Are you actually in?
00:40:06Yes.
00:40:06Headroom?
00:40:08No.
00:40:09That is absolutely hopeless.
00:40:12Anyway,
00:40:13the interesting thing about the Aston Martin is
00:40:16I've got quite a lot to say.
00:40:18I need to get out now.
00:40:20At this point,
00:40:21James came back
00:40:22after a very ambitious shopping trip.
00:40:25Could you hold the porcupine, please?
00:40:27I have.
00:40:28Yak goes in first.
00:40:30How big is that boat?
00:40:31It is actually really big.
00:40:32It's unnecessarily big, actually.
00:40:34It's too much boat.
00:40:34It's a grand tourer.
00:40:35It's for taking luggage,
00:40:36as you said only the other day.
00:40:37His master's voice
00:40:39will go there
00:40:41and then
00:40:42the Spanish man-of-war.
00:40:44I then came up with a plan
00:40:46to get rid of
00:40:46what wouldn't fit in my car.
00:40:49I bought you a present.
00:40:50You're a musical man.
00:40:51That's very thoughtful of him, actually.
00:40:55With our souvenirs loaded up,
00:40:57we got back on the road.
00:41:16A lot of rattling in here.
00:41:18I'm a bit worried
00:41:18that my big jugs
00:41:20are going to rub
00:41:20against my clock
00:41:21and ruin it.
00:41:22I thought you jammed your clock
00:41:24between the jugs
00:41:25so that it wouldn't.
00:41:27Finbar Saunders
00:41:29and his de Blond Taunders.
00:41:34Soon, we arrived at the border.
00:41:40Where Europe stops
00:41:42and Asia begins.
00:41:49So, there we are.
00:41:50Bye-bye, Georgia.
00:41:51The birthplace of wine
00:41:53and hello, Azerbaijan.
00:41:55The birthplace of something
00:41:56very nearly as important.
00:41:59Oil.
00:42:02It was first discovered here
00:42:03in the third century.
00:42:05Marco Polo wrote about it
00:42:06a thousand years ago.
00:42:08He said it didn't taste very nice.
00:42:10The oil industry
00:42:11began here.
00:42:12This was the first country
00:42:13in the world
00:42:14to develop offshore drilling.
00:42:17But, weirdly,
00:42:18we are struggling
00:42:19to find a petrol station.
00:42:22This meant
00:42:23we had to back off a bit,
00:42:25which prompted
00:42:26some smug eco-sermons
00:42:28from Hammond and May.
00:42:31As we're now in the cruise,
00:42:34my car can do
00:42:35a very clever thing.
00:42:35It's W12
00:42:36can shut down six cylinders
00:42:38and run as a V6.
00:42:39to save fuel
00:42:40and you can get
00:42:41as much as 30 MPG.
00:42:44But, actually,
00:42:44that's quite a lot
00:42:45for a 2.2 ton car
00:42:46and, more importantly,
00:42:48it means I get
00:42:48a 500 mile range
00:42:50out of a tank.
00:42:51What I can do
00:42:52is I can put it
00:42:52in eco-pro mode,
00:42:54which I'm just doing now,
00:42:55which shuts down
00:42:56some vital features,
00:42:57not the engine, fortunately,
00:42:58and I have an active grill.
00:43:01The flaps open
00:43:02when they need to
00:43:03and then shut
00:43:03for better aerodynamic efficiency
00:43:05when they're not needed.
00:43:06So, this is all
00:43:07high-tech stuff we're doing.
00:43:09Jeremy,
00:43:10what's your Aston Martin got?
00:43:12Well,
00:43:13between 40 and 80,
00:43:14it'll shut down
00:43:15six of the cylinders
00:43:16and run as a straight six
00:43:18until the catalytic converter
00:43:20on the shutdown bank
00:43:21gets cool
00:43:21and it starts that bank
00:43:23up again
00:43:23and shuts the other one down,
00:43:24alternating
00:43:25to make sure everything
00:43:26is at the optimum temperature.
00:43:29Ha-ha!
00:43:30They weren't ready for that.
00:43:32Happily, at this point,
00:43:34we've finally found
00:43:35a fuel station.
00:43:38Oh.
00:43:40Now, that's an oil company name
00:43:42I wasn't expecting.
00:43:45Really?
00:43:46I know this is childish,
00:43:48but it's just...
00:43:50Ha-ha!
00:43:51Ha-ha!
00:43:52Ha-ha!
00:43:52I wish we had
00:43:53turd petrol in Britain.
00:43:54I really do.
00:43:55I'd like to have
00:43:55turd petrol.
00:43:58Ha-ha!
00:43:58Why don't they sponsor
00:43:59a Formula One team?
00:44:01Powered by turd.
00:44:03Ha-ha!
00:44:03Think of the skid marks.
00:44:04Think of the commentary.
00:44:06Ha-ha!
00:44:07Ha-ha!
00:44:07Back on the move,
00:44:09we started to soup up
00:44:10the local motoring culture,
00:44:13which didn't take long.
00:44:19Larder.
00:44:20Larder.
00:44:22And...
00:44:23Larder.
00:44:26Larder.
00:44:27Larder.
00:44:28Larder.
00:44:28Larder.
00:44:28Larder.
00:44:29Three laders there,
00:44:31a larder there,
00:44:32two laders there.
00:44:34If there's a larder owner's club
00:44:35in Azerbaijan,
00:44:36it could be massive.
00:44:37What car must have been
00:44:39a very thin magazine
00:44:40over here?
00:44:41Ha-ha!
00:44:47At the next town,
00:44:49May and I wanted to pull over,
00:44:51and Hammond didn't.
00:44:53It was all very nice
00:44:55jollying around,
00:44:55but these are GT cars,
00:44:57we've got to cover miles in them.
00:44:59We've got miles to go,
00:45:00we need to get a move on.
00:45:02The town, however,
00:45:04was called Ganja,
00:45:05so obviously May and I
00:45:07wanted to experience
00:45:08the architecture.
00:45:33You know I'm building a new house?
00:45:35Yes?
00:45:35I think I've got the scale of it wrong.
00:45:37Really?
00:45:38I think it needs to be more like this.
00:45:40This, I like the arch.
00:45:41I think the Cotswolds needs
00:45:43this kind of architecture in it.
00:45:45Can we stop stopping off
00:45:47to look at things?
00:45:48The whole point of this trip
00:45:49is to prove that these
00:45:50powerful GT cars
00:45:51can devour continents,
00:45:52and we're not devouring any miles.
00:45:54But we need to get going.
00:45:56You do know that these aren't
00:45:57actually quicker than
00:45:58any other type of car?
00:45:59What?
00:46:00No, in the real world.
00:46:01I mean, these feel great,
00:46:02that's why we like them,
00:46:02it's nice having a powerful car,
00:46:04et cetera,
00:46:04but in the real world
00:46:06they don't go any faster
00:46:07or slower than any other type of car.
00:46:09They go faster.
00:46:10They don't.
00:46:10Well, those ladders
00:46:11we've been overtaking
00:46:12endlessly since we got here,
00:46:13you're saying that my
00:46:14twin-turbo Charles,
00:46:16Aston Martin,
00:46:17is no faster than them?
00:46:19Not in the real world.
00:46:20I'll demonstrate it to you
00:46:22tomorrow.
00:46:23Oh, God.
00:46:31Right, May,
00:46:32what is your thinking?
00:46:34Well, I've bought this
00:46:35Renault 9,
00:46:36it's the GTL,
00:46:40and I've flown Abby out
00:46:42to drive it.
00:46:43We're going to drive 50 miles
00:46:44to a place called
00:46:44the Garden of Paradise.
00:46:46Why can't we just go
00:46:47where we're going?
00:46:49Because I just said
00:46:50we're going to the
00:46:50Garden of Paradise.
00:46:51It'll be nice.
00:46:52So, Abby gets
00:46:53a two-minute head start,
00:46:55you won't be able
00:46:56to catch her.
00:46:57Oh, well.
00:46:57You won't.
00:46:58She has a two-minute
00:46:59head start,
00:47:00and you think
00:47:01we can't catch her up
00:47:02in 50 miles.
00:47:03Exactly.
00:47:05That's not in good condition.
00:47:06It wasn't very expensive.
00:47:08Start the engine, please.
00:47:13Oh, well.
00:47:14Oh, well.
00:47:14Oh, we're in trouble now.
00:47:15Right, you ready?
00:47:16She does like a kitten.
00:47:17Oh, oh.
00:47:18In three, two, one, go.
00:47:22Professional racing driver.
00:47:23Yeah, she's good.
00:47:24She's good.
00:47:25You've bought a dog.
00:47:27It doesn't work.
00:47:40It doesn't work.
00:47:42So, faster than an ancient rusting Renault 9.
00:47:4818 seconds.
00:47:49Stop shouting excited about this ridiculous escapade.
00:47:54Two, one, begin.
00:48:01Right, let's get this charade over with, shall we?
00:48:04And prove that James is mad.
00:48:07The point of having a GT car with tons of power
00:48:09is that it makes you feel good,
00:48:10and it's nice,
00:48:11but it's not quick.
00:48:16All cars in the real world
00:48:18go at the same speed,
00:48:20because how fast they go
00:48:21is dictated by external factors,
00:48:23not the car itself.
00:48:25Traffic lights, speed cameras,
00:48:27other cars, pedestrian cars,
00:48:28you know, all these things
00:48:30just bunch everybody up.
00:48:34If you have a powerful engine in your car,
00:48:36you can get home at night more quickly,
00:48:38which means you spend more time with your children,
00:48:42which means they're less likely to grow up
00:48:44as blue sniffers.
00:48:47Soon, we were out of the town
00:48:49and on the motorway,
00:48:50but there was a problem.
00:48:54These speed cameras,
00:48:55they're at every hundred yards.
00:48:58Yeah, I mean, it's crazy.
00:49:00But Abby has got the same problem.
00:49:03She's not getting away from us.
00:49:06No, but we're not catching her either, are we?
00:49:08No.
00:49:12Once we got off the motorway, though,
00:49:14Hammond and I splashed the brown roadblock
00:49:17and got cracking.
00:49:24Abby is a brilliant driver,
00:49:26make no mistake,
00:49:27she's a lot better at it than me.
00:49:29But I've got 14 times more horsepower.
00:49:33All I had to do to capture then
00:49:35was overtake everything.
00:49:37But that wasn't easy.
00:49:39Single unbroken line,
00:49:41can't overtake,
00:49:42can't overtake.
00:49:43Right, we're still going to Lada.
00:49:45Oh, God.
00:49:46The car coming the other way.
00:49:50Come on, come on, come on.
00:49:52And there's Jeremy Clarkson
00:49:53behind the lorry,
00:49:54as I am.
00:49:57Yeah, that's what you need.
00:50:04Town!
00:50:07Oh, what are you doing?
00:50:09You dithering, half-wet.
00:50:12In James' real world,
00:50:14we weren't getting any brakes.
00:50:16Oh, great.
00:50:17Digger.
00:50:19Oh, God.
00:50:21Whereas up ahead,
00:50:23Abby was in scythe mode.
00:50:32Oh, come on!
00:50:35Right, that Lada.
00:50:37Lada, Lada, Lada.
00:50:38It's like they're releasing them
00:50:40every seven seconds.
00:50:41It's coming the other way.
00:50:43Oh, good.
00:50:45Red light.
00:50:46Oh, God.
00:50:48Oh, God.
00:50:48Oh, God.
00:50:52Nine, eight,
00:50:53seven, six,
00:50:55five, four,
00:50:57three,
00:50:59two...
00:50:59Hello, chaps.
00:51:00Waiting at the lights.
00:51:02Oh, Christ.
00:51:05Mercifully, though,
00:51:06we were soon out of the town
00:51:07and onto the open road.
00:51:14Freedom.
00:51:17Yes.
00:51:18Splash the Lada.
00:51:23But then,
00:51:24with just ten miles to go,
00:51:26everything got rural.
00:51:28Hammond, cows, cows, cows, cows.
00:51:37As things became even more rural,
00:51:39the Aston started to have a problem.
00:51:43It's barely moving.
00:51:44What's he doing?
00:51:45Why can't you pick it up a bit?
00:51:47It's bumpy,
00:51:48and the camber is all over the shop.
00:51:51It's not perfect,
00:51:52but it's drivable.
00:51:53Come on.
00:51:54Hammond,
00:51:54I've got 715 horsepower
00:51:56and only rear-wheel drive.
00:51:59Right, this is ridiculous.
00:52:00I'm going to come past.
00:52:03I've got torque vectoring four-wheel drive.
00:52:06It can handle this.
00:52:11Meanwhile,
00:52:12further back in the EORW.
00:52:16I think it's just still two minutes ahead.
00:52:23Why have you stopped?
00:52:26Because there's an entire farm
00:52:28coming towards me.
00:52:35It's a river of wool and lunch.
00:52:39Please don't scratch my Bentley.
00:52:40Please don't scratch my Bentley.
00:52:47All right.
00:52:55As we approach Journey's End,
00:52:57the road surface improved,
00:52:59so we could both unleash
00:53:01our massive horsepower.
00:53:07So here we are,
00:53:08ladies and gentlemen,
00:53:09Richard Hammonds on a mountain road
00:53:11in a Bentley going quickly.
00:53:13Something didn't go wrong here.
00:53:19I've got to close the gap by now.
00:53:22No offence, Abby,
00:53:23but you're not having this.
00:53:25The finish line
00:53:26at the Garden of Paradise
00:53:27was close.
00:53:29And as we entered the outskirts,
00:53:31the patio of paradise,
00:53:33Abby was in sight.
00:53:36The race we knew
00:53:38would be ours,
00:53:39but then
00:53:39it turned out
00:53:40that actually
00:53:41the finish line
00:53:42was in the 14th century.
00:53:48Getting narrow,
00:53:50very narrow.
00:53:53I don't know how much
00:53:54a carbon fibre chinspoiler is
00:53:56on one of these,
00:53:56but it's a lot.
00:54:00Abby, however,
00:54:01wasn't worried
00:54:02about that sort of thing.
00:54:08That's the sound
00:54:09of a
00:54:10crow
00:54:11rubbing against
00:54:12a Russian stereo.
00:54:18That was not good.
00:54:21Hello.
00:54:22Hammond,
00:54:22I'm beached.
00:54:24I'm going to find
00:54:25another route.
00:54:30Oh, is it really
00:54:31around here?
00:54:33A lot of noise
00:54:35from the boom there.
00:54:36Meanwhile,
00:54:37I'd found another route
00:54:38that wasn't much better.
00:54:41Oh, God.
00:54:43James May's
00:54:44ideal motor race
00:54:45for this.
00:54:46I'm doing four,
00:54:47three.
00:54:48By this stage,
00:54:49I knew I'd lost,
00:54:51so I needed to come up
00:54:52with an excuse.
00:54:54Big the head.
00:54:56A hat.
00:54:58This is not
00:54:59Bentley country now.
00:55:01This is really
00:55:02Land Rover territory.
00:55:04James May,
00:55:05you are a bloody idiot.
00:55:08Sit, Rep.
00:55:09The man arrived
00:55:10at the window,
00:55:11took 30 units
00:55:12of currency away,
00:55:13and I now
00:55:14have this hat.
00:55:18Eventually,
00:55:19Hammond and I
00:55:20found Abby's
00:55:21victorious Renault
00:55:22at the finish line.
00:55:24And then,
00:55:25what was definitely
00:55:26several hours later,
00:55:28May turned up.
00:55:29Oh, here he is.
00:55:31Oh, God.
00:55:35Who won, then?
00:55:37We did.
00:55:38Did you?
00:55:39No.
00:55:40No, we didn't.
00:55:40Well, he went hat shopping.
00:55:42I did.
00:55:43Look.
00:55:43Took him ages
00:55:45choosing that one.
00:55:46Honestly,
00:55:46we must have been,
00:55:47how long were we
00:55:48hat shopping?
00:55:49Must have been
00:55:49a good half hour
00:55:49to get the right one.
00:55:50Well,
00:55:50half an hour
00:55:51with the black one
00:55:52and then I didn't like it.
00:55:53That does not happen
00:55:54by accident.
00:55:55That sort of thing
00:55:56takes time.
00:55:57Anyway,
00:55:58this does prove,
00:55:58does it not,
00:55:59that fast cars,
00:56:00yes, they're great,
00:56:00but they're not fast.
00:56:02In the real world,
00:56:03a Renault 9 is as fast
00:56:04as an Aston
00:56:04or a Bentley
00:56:05or a BMW.
00:56:06What?
00:56:07Oh,
00:56:08there's been an accident.
00:56:10There's no other word for it.
00:56:11You've ruined your crow.
00:56:12Oh, you've ruined it.
00:56:13The crow's beaks come off
00:56:14and bass,
00:56:16but more,
00:56:17look,
00:56:18that's all was in me
00:56:20a minute ago
00:56:21and now it's not.
00:56:22Why is it coming out of you?
00:56:23Because half the crow's face
00:56:25went in there
00:56:26when I picked it up.
00:56:27It attacked you?
00:56:28That was a really
00:56:29priceless ornament,
00:56:30man.
00:56:30That's a real shame.
00:56:32That's coming out
00:56:32at a rate,
00:56:33I reckon you've probably
00:56:33got three,
00:56:34maybe four minutes.
00:56:35That's a pint.
00:56:35It's not a pint,
00:56:37it's spread out thin
00:56:37on the floor.
00:56:38If this were you,
00:56:39there'd be
00:56:40bloody helicopters coming,
00:56:42the trousers being cut off.
00:56:43Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:56:43I'm just getting on with it.
00:56:45Go and have a look
00:56:45at how much damage
00:56:46you've done in yours
00:56:47with your man driving.
00:56:47I won't have done
00:56:48any damage in the Bentley.
00:56:51Oh, God!
00:56:57Go on, say it.
00:56:58I've lost my jugs
00:56:59and my clock.
00:57:00All I've got
00:57:00is this ring.
00:57:06With James's
00:57:08unrealistic real-world test
00:57:10out of the way,
00:57:11we continued
00:57:12heading east
00:57:13and eventually
00:57:14we arrived
00:57:15at the font
00:57:16of everything.
00:57:31the cradle of humankind
00:57:33is in South Africa.
00:57:35That's where we began
00:57:36as a species.
00:57:38But the cradle
00:57:39of everything
00:57:39that makes us special
00:57:41is here.
00:57:43The things that we make
00:57:46out of what's coming
00:57:48out of the ground here
00:57:49boggles the mind.
00:57:52Toothbrushes,
00:57:53crayons,
00:57:54heart valves,
00:57:55parachutes,
00:57:56antifreeze,
00:57:57vinyl records,
00:58:00cassette tapes,
00:58:01CDs,
00:58:03training shoes,
00:58:04guitar strings,
00:58:06balloons,
00:58:07sunglasses,
00:58:08life jackets,
00:58:10anesthetics,
00:58:11enamel,
00:58:12dentures,
00:58:13prosthetic limbs,
00:58:14shampoo,
00:58:15disposable ballpoint pen,
00:58:18smartphone,
00:58:20face creams,
00:58:22deodorants,
00:58:23lipstick,
00:58:24fishing rods,
00:58:25electric blankets,
00:58:27insect repellent,
00:58:28umbrellas,
00:58:29roofing,
00:58:30light switches,
00:58:32dishwashers,
00:58:33John Travolta's face,
00:58:35antiseptic,
00:58:37food preservatives,
00:58:38basketballs,
00:58:40putty,
00:58:41motorcycle helmets,
00:58:42boats,
00:58:43soft contact lenses,
00:58:45the crackly bottle
00:58:46your water comes in,
00:58:48fan belts,
00:58:50satellite dishes,
00:58:51frisbees,
00:58:53heat,
00:58:54light,
00:58:56and most importantly of all,
00:58:59the amber nectar of the gods,
00:59:01petrol.
00:59:05Oil is so important here,
00:59:07in fact,
00:59:08they built a spa
00:59:09where you can bathe in it.
00:59:13It was like the wine spa
00:59:15we found in Georgia,
00:59:17apart from in every way.
00:59:22Is that really crude oil?
00:59:25Yeah,
00:59:26I feel like a guillemot.
00:59:29Any minute now,
00:59:30some woman with hairy armpits
00:59:32will take me to a yurt
00:59:33and wash me down with fairy liquid
00:59:34and say,
00:59:35look what we found.
00:59:36Where's our bath?
00:59:37I've only got the one bath
00:59:38and you're not getting in here with me.
00:59:40I'm not getting in after you.
00:59:41Why not?
00:59:42Are you kidding?
00:59:43Why?
00:59:44Because that'll be full of your scabs
00:59:49The next day,
00:59:50after I'd been scraped clean,
00:59:52we set off for the Caspian Sea.
00:59:58And since we were almost at journey's end,
01:00:01it felt like a good time
01:00:02to sum up our cars.
01:00:07All the things a car has to excel at
01:00:09to be a good GT car,
01:00:12luxury,
01:00:13comfort,
01:00:14power,
01:00:14style,
01:00:15make for just a good car of any sort.
01:00:18And this new Bentley Continental GT
01:00:20is a very,
01:00:21very,
01:00:22very good GT car.
01:00:25But it has surprised me beyond that
01:00:27at the track
01:00:28when two and a quarter tons of car
01:00:30felt nimble and agile.
01:00:32But above all else,
01:00:34it's about this interior.
01:00:36This is just
01:00:37a nicer place to be
01:00:39than anywhere else.
01:00:41I'm going to say it,
01:00:43this thing is a masterpiece
01:00:45that absolutely nailed it
01:00:48and it deserves to wear
01:00:49its Flying B.
01:00:51What a thing.
01:01:02So,
01:01:03my BMW.
01:01:04Now,
01:01:04when we started this trip,
01:01:06I nearly thought it was rather good.
01:01:08But now,
01:01:10I'm pretty much in love with that.
01:01:12And most of that,
01:01:13to be honest,
01:01:13is because of that V8 engine.
01:01:16It's smooth,
01:01:17it's quiet,
01:01:18it's unobtrusive.
01:01:19But then you just
01:01:19knock it down a few
01:01:21and give it a bit of shoo.
01:01:23See?
01:01:24It becomes sonorous.
01:01:25Its voice becomes
01:01:26more heartfelt
01:01:27and it tingles
01:01:28through the steering wheel
01:01:29and through my buttocks.
01:01:31It's lovely.
01:01:32And the other thing,
01:01:33and I know this is going to sound
01:01:34a little bit sort of
01:01:35hashtag first world consideration,
01:01:37but
01:01:38it's only
01:01:39£100,000.
01:01:42Considerably less than
01:01:43half the price
01:01:44of the Aston Martin.
01:01:45It also looks better
01:01:47and it's made by Germans.
01:01:50By this.
01:01:59Been a great trip, this.
01:02:02A couple of things
01:02:03we've learned on the way.
01:02:04Number one,
01:02:06Georgia
01:02:06hidden gem,
01:02:08Tbilisi in particular.
01:02:10And number two,
01:02:11pottery is much sharper
01:02:12than you might imagine.
01:02:15Then there's the DBS
01:02:16and that is
01:02:18tricky.
01:02:19It is as fast as hell
01:02:22and it's comfortable
01:02:22and it looks
01:02:25sensational.
01:02:26It's a hugely appealing car,
01:02:29but
01:02:29is it worth £70,000 more
01:02:31than the also hugely appealing
01:02:33DB11?
01:02:36And I don't think it is.
01:02:41I just don't think it is.
01:02:43Maybe if they'd fitted
01:02:45an interior that made
01:02:46you feel special,
01:02:47like the interior
01:02:48does in the Bentley,
01:02:49I'd have a different view,
01:02:51but they didn't.
01:02:52Some I don't.
01:02:54Sorry.
01:02:57After a stunning drive
01:02:59through the tip
01:02:59of the Caucasus,
01:03:00we eventually arrived
01:03:02in the jaw-dropping capital
01:03:04of Azerbaijan.
01:03:15There we are,
01:03:16Baku,
01:03:17where there is,
01:03:18let's be honest,
01:03:19some architecture.
01:03:24I mean,
01:03:25look at that.
01:03:28British architect did that.
01:03:31my favouritest building
01:03:32in the world
01:03:33by a long way.
01:03:38These cars are now looking,
01:03:40well, I'd call them heroic.
01:03:41James was so disgusting.
01:03:44James May,
01:03:45how annoyed are you
01:03:46by the dirtiness
01:03:47of your car?
01:03:48I was just saying
01:03:49that we're in disgrace
01:03:50because this is a shiny,
01:03:52spangly city
01:03:53and we should make
01:03:53our cars shiny and spangly.
01:03:55It only takes a minute
01:03:56to clean them.
01:03:57These look like
01:03:58they've done work
01:03:59and battled
01:03:59and fought through.
01:04:02No, they look dirty.
01:04:11Oh, well, oh.
01:04:13This is a bit
01:04:13of the Grand Prix track.
01:04:16Of course,
01:04:17they have the Grand Prix here now.
01:04:19Why don't we
01:04:19do a lap
01:04:20of the Grand Prix track?
01:04:22Well, because
01:04:23I doubt you can.
01:04:24It's not just a track,
01:04:26is it?
01:04:26Well, why don't we
01:04:27do a drag race
01:04:28on the Main Strait?
01:04:30Because it's a city.
01:04:32You can't just
01:04:33do a drag race.
01:04:34What if
01:04:35we asked really nicely?
01:04:39As Hammond
01:04:40didn't have an answer
01:04:41to that,
01:04:42I did ask really nicely.
01:04:44And the next day,
01:04:45they really did
01:04:46close off
01:04:47the Main Strait
01:04:48so we could have
01:04:49our important drag race.
01:04:57The Aston should
01:04:59absolutely cream this.
01:05:00On paper,
01:05:01it's faster to 60
01:05:02and it's more powerful
01:05:03and it's lighter.
01:05:05But it's rear-wheel drive
01:05:06and it's a wet track.
01:05:09I have four-wheel drive
01:05:11and launch control.
01:05:13Only slight worries.
01:05:15James has got them as well.
01:05:20Here's my prediction.
01:05:21Therefore,
01:05:21we'll drive systems
01:05:22and launch controls.
01:05:23We'll get them
01:05:24off the line quickly
01:05:25and then
01:05:26once I've got
01:05:27the power down,
01:05:28I'll just become
01:05:29a missile.
01:05:34This is
01:05:35not a race
01:05:36to see who wins.
01:05:37It's a race
01:05:37to see which
01:05:38one of my colleagues
01:05:39loses.
01:05:43OK,
01:05:44here we go.
01:05:55And we are away.
01:05:59Can't get the power down.
01:06:02Ah!
01:06:04Oh,
01:06:05it's thithering
01:06:06that forward right
01:06:07doing its job.
01:06:10Whoa!
01:06:11He's stinking!
01:06:16Ben,
01:06:16he's reading me in.
01:06:17I don't think
01:06:17he's going to do it.
01:06:20Come on,
01:06:20BMW.
01:06:23Yes!
01:06:26Where's Jeremy gone?
01:06:29Interesting building
01:06:30here.
01:06:30It's a government building.
01:06:31Just going to have
01:06:32a look at it.
01:06:35Yeah,
01:06:35nice.
01:06:38having looked
01:06:39at the building,
01:06:40I decided
01:06:40to have another go.
01:06:45But still,
01:06:46the Aston
01:06:47would not
01:06:48behave.
01:06:49Oh,
01:06:49my...
01:06:51Oh,
01:06:52Jesus!
01:06:55Oh,
01:06:58Oh,
01:06:59Jesus!
01:07:03Jesus!
01:07:04Oh,
01:07:05Jesus!
01:07:06Jesus!
01:07:06A quarter throttle
01:07:07and it's sideways.
01:07:09It's not brilliant,
01:07:10this is it.
01:07:11Well done for getting
01:07:12permission,
01:07:13but not so good
01:07:14on the weather.
01:07:16I therefore decided
01:07:17that before we tried
01:07:18again,
01:07:19I should do something
01:07:20about the weather.
01:07:22So,
01:07:23I got us
01:07:23and all our crew vehicles
01:07:25to drive up and down
01:07:26the track
01:07:26to try and dry it out.
01:07:30This took
01:07:30quite a while.
01:07:33Jeremy,
01:07:34on that first run
01:07:35did some poo come out?
01:07:37Difficult to keep
01:07:37the poo in
01:07:38when your anus
01:07:39is as well-oiled
01:07:40as mine.
01:07:41How dry
01:07:42are we going to be
01:07:43able to get
01:07:43this track?
01:07:45It's drying out
01:07:46on James' side.
01:07:47We do another run
01:07:48with me there.
01:07:49You all right?
01:07:50Well,
01:07:50it's hardly real world,
01:07:51is it,
01:07:52choosing which bit
01:07:53of the road
01:07:53you drive on
01:07:54to make your car faster?
01:07:56Oh,
01:07:57I'm sorry.
01:07:58As that is in fact
01:07:59exactly what you do
01:08:01in a race,
01:08:01I ignored him
01:08:02and lined up
01:08:03for our third attempt
01:08:04on the dry line.
01:08:08So,
01:08:09BMW,
01:08:10Bentley,
01:08:10or the
01:08:11surface-to-air missile,
01:08:12which will win?
01:08:21Amber.
01:08:26No!
01:08:30It's a great start.
01:08:33It seems
01:08:34as if it's still
01:08:35doing it.
01:08:3680 miles an hour,
01:08:3790 miles an hour.
01:08:40Oh,
01:08:40it's going sideways
01:08:41again.
01:08:42Oh,
01:08:42oh my.
01:08:44Oh!
01:08:45Oh,
01:08:47shit.
01:08:50Really mid,
01:08:51really mid.
01:08:52Come on,
01:08:52BMW.
01:08:55Oh,
01:08:56bugger!
01:08:58Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
01:09:01Well,
01:09:01there we are.
01:09:02The Aston was by far
01:09:03the most exciting
01:09:05to look at there,
01:09:06as usual.
01:09:07So now,
01:09:07let's get some lunch.
01:09:16And moments later,
01:09:18we found our grail.
01:09:23there we are,
01:09:24look,
01:09:2450 feet below sea level,
01:09:26and we have arrived
01:09:27at journey's end.
01:09:30The Caspian.
01:09:31The largest inland
01:09:33body of water
01:09:34in the world.
01:09:39Our journey is complete.
01:09:42Let's get a bream.
01:09:55Let's get a bream.
01:09:57The bream's fish.
01:09:59No, Hammond,
01:10:00they're cows.
01:10:01Of course they're fish.
01:10:02I don't like fish.
01:10:05Well,
01:10:05on that terrible
01:10:06disappointment.
01:10:07For him.
01:10:07Mm.
01:10:08Back to the tent.
01:10:13What did he say
01:10:14back to the tent,
01:10:15you idiot?
01:10:16Um,
01:10:17oh, right,
01:10:17um,
01:10:18I've got biscuit.
01:10:21You don't do that on Spanish.
01:10:22I know.
01:10:23It's flipped out.
01:10:23But never do that.
01:10:24It gives us a chance
01:10:25at least to say
01:10:26how good GT cars are.
01:10:28I love them.
01:10:29The rear with front
01:10:30and all the power you need.
01:10:32They're everything
01:10:32you want in a car.
01:10:33You know,
01:10:33I agree,
01:10:34the BMW was the best
01:10:35as well.
01:10:35Yes,
01:10:36but James,
01:10:36why don't you tell
01:10:37the ladies and gentlemen
01:10:38about the BMW's
01:10:40lane departure system?
01:10:41You know,
01:10:41the one that keeps you
01:10:42in the white lines
01:10:43when you're driving along?
01:10:44Yeah,
01:10:44well,
01:10:44the thing is,
01:10:45it was a pre-production car
01:10:46so it had a slight glitch
01:10:47in it and you couldn't
01:10:48turn it off
01:10:48and it's quite annoying
01:10:49on the road,
01:10:50you know,
01:10:50because it does that
01:10:50but on the track,
01:10:52the problem is
01:10:53that you aim
01:10:53for a perfect apex
01:10:54but the car thinks
01:10:56he's about to have
01:10:57an accident
01:10:57and then it just
01:10:58throws you back
01:10:58into the middle
01:10:59of the track again.
01:10:59It's extremely irritating.
01:11:01There was that
01:11:02which you moaned about
01:11:02a lot
01:11:03and the gearbox.
01:11:04Yeah,
01:11:05the gearbox,
01:11:05well,
01:11:06the problem there
01:11:07is the display
01:11:09on the dash,
01:11:09there's two of them.
01:11:10One of them says
01:11:11what gear you've selected
01:11:12but the other one says
01:11:14what gear the car
01:11:15thinks you should be in.
01:11:17So, again,
01:11:17on the track,
01:11:18you'd be driving along
01:11:18going,
01:11:18here comes the left hand
01:11:19and then,
01:11:21right down to second
01:11:22then the car would go
01:11:22seventh.
01:11:26That is annoying.
01:11:27It's basically
01:11:27the Germans saying
01:11:28England and there's
01:11:29nothing here.
01:11:31But it was bloody fast,
01:11:33the BMW.
01:11:34It was excellent.
01:11:35But I still think
01:11:35the Bentley was the best.
01:11:36It was the best.
01:11:37I agree.
01:11:38What?
01:11:39I agree.
01:11:40Look,
01:11:40I really like the DBS.
01:11:41It was a fantastic car.
01:11:43I like the DB11 as well
01:11:44and the Vantage
01:11:45but for doing that journey,
01:11:48I'd choose the Bentley.
01:11:49Wait a minute.
01:11:50Haven't you just recommended
01:11:51the Aston Martin DBS
01:11:52to a friend of yours?
01:11:53Yes, I have.
01:11:55And has he since bought one?
01:11:58Yes, he has.
01:12:00And on that terrible
01:12:01disappointment for him,
01:12:02it's time to end.
01:12:03Thank you so much for watching.
01:12:04Goodbye.
01:12:05Goodbye.
01:12:24Goodbye.
01:12:25Goodbye.
01:12:32Goodbye.
01:12:35Goodbye.
01:12:38Goodbye.
01:12:39Goodbye.
01:12:39Goodbye.
01:12:39Goodbye.
01:12:39Goodbye.
01:12:39Goodbye.
01:12:39Goodbye.
01:12:39Goodbye.
01:12:39Goodbye.
01:12:41Goodbye.
01:12:42You
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