#TheGrandTour #OneForTheRoad #ClarksonHammondMay #FinalLap #ZimbabweSpecial
After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.
#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory
After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.
#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory
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MotorTranscript
01:00A couple of minutes ago, we were sitting around wondering what we should do for this, the last programme in
01:05the series.
01:05Yeah, I said we should build a car that's also an aircraft carrier.
01:10Yeah, I wanted to fire a car into space.
01:13But then we decided that what we should actually do, because neither of those things were ambitious enough, was end
01:19world hunger.
01:21Yeah, it's a big job.
01:23Yeah, it's not the sort of thing that we could achieve in 20 minutes with a couple of guests and
01:27a bit of idle chit-chat in between.
01:29No, we were going to need the whole show.
01:32So settle back now as we take the grand tour on a mini-special to the poverty-stricken but beautiful
01:38country of Mozambique.
01:55This is the village of Bingo in the west of the country.
01:59The people here are not starving, but they are very poor.
02:06A Zeus here has to exist on a diet of miserable gruel.
02:11Which is fine for silly rich women in London and New York, but food like this makes the average red
02:18-blooded African man very sad.
02:23And that's odd, because just 200 miles away, things are very different.
02:36This is Mozambique's capital city, Maputo.
02:41And the people here are well-nourished and happy, because they live by the ocean.
02:48Which is full of fish.
02:54And that got us wondering, how hard can it be to get the fish from here to that village we
03:01were looking at earlier?
03:02Yeah, now this isn't a very wealthy country. In fact, it's a poor country, is it?
03:06Desperately poor.
03:07Desperately poor. So they don't have refrigerated trucks, all that kind of stuff.
03:11No, but we're talking about 200 miles. That's London to Leeds, isn't it? It's nothing to get this there.
03:17I'm telling you, when we get this sorted out, when we move these fish to bingo, there'll be Nobel Prizes
03:24in it for us.
03:25And I'd be Boutros Boutros, mate.
03:27Yes.
03:27And I'd be Banky Hammer.
03:29What?
03:29Banky.
03:30Yeah.
03:31I'm going to go for a knighthood.
03:32Do it. Why not?
03:34Beat David Beckham.
03:35I don't go down well.
03:39Unfortunately, having agreed that we would end world hunger by moving fish across Mozambique,
03:44we couldn't agree on how this might be achieved. So we ended up with different solutions.
03:54This is what I came up with. A 1984 Mercedes wagon. A car famous throughout Africa for its rugged dependability.
04:04However, I have modified it extensively. In the back, filling up all of the back, is a Perspex tank.
04:12What I'm going to do is fill that with seawater and then put the fishes in there and they will
04:17stay alive as I make my way inland.
04:21Now, you can't get fish fresher than fishes that are still swimming around in the sea.
04:26I have been clever. Very clever.
04:30Not as clever as me, because for the first time in my entire life, I've made a sensible decision.
04:37Gone for this.
04:39It's a pickup truck that Nissan named after me. It's called the Heart Body.
04:45It's got tons of space in the back for cod and bream and sticklebacks.
04:52And it has four-wheel drive, which I reckon is going to be essential because, and James hasn't realized this,
04:59it's the rainy season in Mozambique, so I reckon the roads are going to be hell.
05:08Hammond, meanwhile, hadn't been clever at all.
05:11What do you think of that?
05:14Well, I think it's a motorcycle.
05:20Yes, it is. Specifically, it's a TVS Star HLX E5, and I've just bought this, brand new from a supermarket,
05:26for 800 quid.
05:28Brand spankers.
05:29Hammond, this is not a quality item.
05:32Well, no, it's built down to a budget, isn't it? You can feel that.
05:35Is it 1,000 cc?
05:36No, 100.
05:37What?
05:38A hundred cc.
05:39How many cylinders? Four?
05:40One.
05:41One?
05:42One. That one.
05:43So how much horsepower has it got?
05:45Seven.
05:46Seven?
05:46Seven.
05:47But it's light, it's agile. These things are actually built in India specifically to be used in Africa.
05:53They are, they're built in India specifically to be used in Africa.
05:56It's too poor to be used in India.
05:58I can see why the Indians don't want it.
06:00It's rugged, it's tough, it can go off-road if we need to, it can do anything.
06:04Yeah, but what it can't do, Hammond, is transport a large amount of fish.
06:09Exactly what I was thinking. If I wanted a pizza delivery, this is the sort of thing, a motorcycle.
06:13I thought about this, let me explain my idea.
06:16This is my genius.
06:17What they do here, right, they dry the fish in the wind, like that, because it lasts longer.
06:21Is that fish?
06:21That's fish drying in the wind, so what I'm going to do is build...
06:23That looks like cats.
06:24No, it's fish.
06:25I'm going to build a rack like that, fit it to the back of a bike, and then I'll dry
06:28the fish as I go along.
06:30It's brilliant.
06:31That is literally the stupidest idea I've ever heard of.
06:34Well, what are you going to do, sling your fish in the back of your pickup and watch them rot?
06:38Ah, no, actually, I have a plan on that, but I do need your help.
06:50Jeremy's plan was to break into a hotel in the dead of night and do a burglary.
06:59You're not going to...
07:00You're going to have to tilt it.
07:01You're going to have to tilt it.
07:03Ow, ow.
07:05There.
07:06Ow.
07:09Ow.
07:13There.
07:16Why are they so heavy?
07:18Shh.
07:19There's a lot of gubbins in it.
07:27The next morning, we all met up on the beach, and I set about fitting the hotel's ice machine to
07:33my hard body.
07:35Right, so I need a bucket of water above the height of the stolen ice machine,
07:41from which the stolen ice machine can get the supply that it converted to ice.
07:50Oh, yeah.
07:58Generator in place.
08:00Water tank in place.
08:03Meanwhile, Hammond was building his fish rack,
08:07and May was filling his Macquarium with seawater.
08:13How much is your car going to weigh when it's full?
08:17An extra 700.
08:19Tons?
08:20No, kilograms.
08:21So it's at 0.7 of a tonne?
08:24Yeah, an extra.
08:25Extra.
08:25And he's parked it?
08:27On sand.
08:28Wet sand.
08:29Wet sand.
08:30By the sea.
08:31The fish aren't heavy.
08:33Tire.
08:34Look at the tire.
08:35Yeah.
08:36The tide is definitely coming in.
08:41With the Indian Ocean nibbling at his back end,
08:44James' tank was eventually full.
08:47Right, I need to get this going as quick as possible.
08:49You lot out of the way!
08:56He's not going to do it.
09:02Hello.
09:14I need a tow.
09:16Tows.
09:17Try.
09:19It won't do it.
09:21It's only got 104 horsepower.
09:23Get the truck.
09:25Get your 4x4, please, and tow me the first 20 yards.
09:29That's what you've got it for.
09:30Get it in front.
09:31He's really shouting at me.
09:33I don't respond well to shouting.
09:35I like calmness.
09:36Can you help?
09:38Yep.
09:38What's the matter?
09:39I want a tow.
09:41You've got a 4x4.
09:42Put it there.
09:43Just tow me a bit.
09:44I helped you nick the ice-making machine.
09:46Do something in return.
09:47You wet yourself.
09:48It's a little bit of doing it.
09:50Yeah.
09:54This is me saving James' tank.
09:58It's not ideal, but...
10:02Jeremy, he's ready.
10:07Keep going.
10:12What is that noise?
10:19That's my gearbox.
10:22No, no, stop!
10:23Oh, you pillock.
10:32Hammond, there's a really bad noise.
10:35Yeah?
10:36I dropped him right where the sewage is.
10:38OK.
10:39There's a terrible noise coming from the bottom of my gear lever while it's under load, pulling him.
10:44Right.
10:44What is that?
10:45Uh, clicking metallic.
10:47Yeah, can you hear it?
10:48Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:49Don't know.
10:50Honestly, don't know.
10:50Thank you, but...
10:52What?
10:53You were supposed to do it gently.
10:54That's what I was shouting gently.
10:55My car is broken.
10:57I'm not, fortunately.
10:59How did that happen?
11:00You did it.
11:00You might have hold his radiator.
11:02We haven't had a look yet.
11:02When I said stop, you accelerated.
11:04Yeah, that did happen.
11:05The noise of my disintegrating gearbox was drowning you out.
11:10I didn't know your gearbox was disintegrating.
11:12It is now.
11:13Radiator and fan are OK.
11:14I knew they were.
11:15Yeah.
11:15I judged it to perfection.
11:16Of course you did.
11:18Once we'd replaced the water James was now wearing, we were ready to go and catch some fish using local
11:26methods that we didn't really understand.
11:31So far as we could tell, we had to put James in the sea with one end of a rope,
11:36and then Hammond and I had to row about, dropping off a net as we went.
11:41And pull.
11:43Oh!
11:46Oh, Jesus Christ!
11:48It was brilliant accident.
11:49Row the boat, you idle sods!
11:52Hold on, James.
11:52We'll be...
11:53This is how they do it here.
11:55No, that's the wrong way.
11:56Better go the other way.
11:57Oh, shit, I'm on the wrong side.
11:59I don't know if I used that.
11:59Turn it.
12:00Oh, f***ing hell.
12:02As Hammond and Ollie were struggling to get into a rhythm...
12:05Oh, no, hang up.
12:06Hang up.
12:06No, you've got it.
12:07The oars come out.
12:09And as it turned out, the Indian Ocean wasn't that deep.
12:16Where has all the sea gone?
12:18We decided to push the boat instead.
12:21Any minute now, we're going to start fishing.
12:24Right, I think this might actually be working.
12:27If they can just get themselves back to here.
12:29We've got two ends of a net.
12:31Pull it in, full of fish.
12:34Arg!
12:35Shit!
12:37I've caught myself in the net!
12:39Going back to horses.
12:40After this calamity...
12:42Hammond, get it!
12:43I can't get it!
12:44Get it!
12:45I can't get it!
12:45We decided that we'd be better off in the boat after all.
12:51And soon, we'd worked our way back to James.
12:54God!
12:55Come on!
12:56We're coming!
12:58Right, anchor.
12:59Right, dropping anchor.
13:01What we do is we pull it in,
13:03and then as the net comes towards us...
13:05It fills up with fish.
13:07So is that the other end of it?
13:09This is my...
13:09This is the beginning end.
13:10Where's the other end?
13:11At the back of your boat.
13:12Now, this is the other end, isn't it?
13:14Hold on, no, wait.
13:15This is the other end.
13:17Yeah, but that's also the other end.
13:19This is the other end.
13:21Once we'd established that somehow our rope had three ends,
13:25we began hauling in the net.
13:30Behold the sparkling treasure of the seas.
13:33What we've achieved, not only solving world hunger,
13:36but mastering fishing in a single day.
13:41You ever seen Bono do this?
13:43No.
13:44Angelina Jolie?
13:45No.
13:45Both of them well-respected for the terrors of the work.
13:49I haven't seen them in the sea hauling nets,
13:52or David Beckham.
13:55Eventually, our catch was on board.
14:00We've got eight plus one that got out in the boat.
14:04And to make matters worse...
14:08There's a big squall coming.
14:10Yeah, I can see it.
14:11I can see it.
14:13Oh, what area near them.
14:24Oh, God.
14:25We're all on board.
14:28We can't row in this.
14:30No.
14:31If we lift up the anchor,
14:33the wind will blow us onto the shore.
14:36Yeah, that's good.
14:37Or we might just miss it
14:39and end up in Madagascar.
14:41Or Somalia.
14:42Yeah, there...
14:43What's Madagascar like?
14:45Better than Somalia.
14:47Yeah.
14:48Faced with the prospect of being kidnapped by pirates,
14:53we bravely decided to abandon the boat.
14:55We've borrowed and the fish been caught
14:57and hitch a ride back to the harbour
14:59with the film crew.
15:02Oh, God.
15:08The next day, though,
15:10things started to look up.
15:13Right, we went off fishing this morning
15:14before the camera crews were up,
15:16and we've had a much more successful morning.
15:19Much more.
15:20This is the result.
15:21I caught the Dorado by hand, in fact.
15:23That was quite a wrestling match.
15:24I remember watching that.
15:25I was hauling these in at the time.
15:27All of them.
15:27Yeah, exactly.
15:28Anyway, we've got a lot of fish
15:30that we caught ourselves
15:32without the crew early this morning.
15:34And now it was time to load them
15:37into our fish transportation vehicles.
15:41That is an octopus look.
15:44You can see its face.
15:45The surprise from when James wrestled it.
15:49Look at that.
15:50There's a cheese sauce,
15:51got a thermidor going on right there.
15:53And they will be kept succulent and fresh
15:56for the journey to bingo.
15:59Right, come on, matey.
15:59In the big tank,
16:01you'll like it with your mates.
16:04Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
16:05Look at that.
16:07F***.
16:09Sorry, mate.
16:10Sorry.
16:11Sorry.
16:12Oh, he's sandy.
16:14Oh, bollocks.
16:16Don't rinse him off.
16:17There you go.
16:19He's OK.
16:22So it goes in its mouth
16:23and then out of its anus?
16:24No, it'll go in its mouth
16:26and then, I imagine,
16:27out of its gill.
16:28So it goes through its anus
16:30and then it goes through its whole body.
16:32No, it goes through the gill.
16:32You don't thread it all the way through the fish.
16:34If I were to dry you...
16:36Oh, can somebody come and open the lid?
16:37No, I'm busy with him.
16:38Open the lid.
16:42Oh, yeah.
16:45Admire.
16:46Now what do you do?
16:48Hang it on here.
16:51Eventually, the loading
16:52and the hanging were complete
16:54and we were ready.
16:57OK, it's time now
16:59and nobody's ever said this
17:01on a car show before.
17:03Save the world.
17:16There you go.
17:18Right, forward
17:18into saving the world.
17:20This is it.
17:22Oh, my God.
17:23Oh.
17:24Oh.
17:26Stupid.
17:27What the hell is...
17:29Oh, Lord above.
17:31What is...
17:31What manner of thing
17:32is happening here?
17:34Still,
17:35could be worse.
17:36Oh, it's steering me.
17:38I'm not steering it.
17:39It is steering me.
17:41Oh.
17:41Ladies and gentlemen,
17:43it is with great...
17:46Ladies and gentlemen,
17:47it is with...
17:51It is with great pride and humility
17:54that I accept this award for...
17:57Oh.
18:00Oh, tarmac.
18:02That's better.
18:08Our mercy mission would take us
18:11through the city of Maputo
18:12and then 200 miles north
18:15to the tiny village of Bingo.
18:20The great thing about this particular vehicle
18:23is that it has a 3.2-litre,
18:25four-cylinder diesel engine.
18:27That's a great deal of power.
18:28It'll get me there quickly.
18:30This is what Angelina
18:32and Bob Geldof
18:34and Mono don't realise.
18:36It's all very well singing songs
18:38and adopting children.
18:40What you actually need
18:41is a big, powerful engine
18:43and that's what I've got in my hard body.
18:49Everybody I pass,
18:50you can see the light dawning in their eyes.
18:52Why didn't we think of that?
18:54Every morning in future,
18:56there'll be a fleet of fishing boats
18:57coming into shore here
18:58and a fleet of these bikes
19:00waiting to collect the fish
19:02and transport it inland.
19:04And it's what?
19:06200 miles?
19:07I reckon, on a bike,
19:09a good rider
19:10could get in
19:11two or even three fish trips a day.
19:17See, brilliant, isn't it?
19:19Yeah, it's a brilliant idea.
19:21You want to do it?
19:22It's a great business.
19:24Yeah, you see?
19:25Oh, this is like Lion's Den,
19:27Dragon's Den, whatever,
19:28the den,
19:28that show with Alan Sugar on.
19:33Temperatures and pressures are OK.
19:35Tank is full of water.
19:36I'm going to have a quick look at my fish.
19:38Yes, there's one.
19:38He's looking pretty happy.
19:40Why wouldn't he be?
19:41He's in the sea.
19:42He doesn't know he's in a car.
19:44Fish are not, you know,
19:46they don't have a big intellect.
19:50Overtaking!
19:51A leaning bus of pizza.
19:57So here we are.
19:58We've done 40 miles already.
20:00We're on a velvet smooth,
20:01almost Austrian road.
20:05Heading towards Bingo.
20:06We should be there in a couple of hours.
20:08Easiest thing I've ever done.
20:10Easiest.
20:11In fact,
20:12since things were going so smoothly,
20:14I decided to amuse myself.
20:17Ready,
20:18steady,
20:19and brake testing,
20:20James May.
20:26No.
20:29You're not helping
20:30with the transport of live fish.
20:32This is supposed to be a group effort.
20:34Don't be such a petulant child.
20:36Oh,
20:37someone's fallen over in the road.
20:38Nothing I can do.
20:48A few miles further on, though,
20:51the smooth tarmac ran out.
20:54And because Hammond
20:55had rejected my anus suggestion
20:57and used gills instead,
20:59it caused him some problems.
21:04Hammond,
21:04you've just lost 90% of your fish.
21:08Oh, no.
21:09Did I?
21:11Oh, he's lost another one.
21:14I've just run over a fish.
21:16Did I worry?
21:17Oh, mate,
21:18you're going to be running over
21:18more than one.
21:19Hammond is losing them
21:20at a rate of knots.
21:23Two more just went there, Hammond.
21:26Oh, God.
21:28And another one.
21:29He's going to have
21:30and another one.
21:32No fish at all.
21:33And another.
21:34This fish delivery
21:36was supposed to be targeted.
21:37What you're doing
21:38is carpet bombing
21:39Mozambique with bream.
21:41It's the principle I'm proving.
21:43I'm not trying to feed them
21:44all in one go.
21:45I'm trying to show them
21:45how to feed themselves.
21:47What a blithering it is.
21:52The inside of the windscreen
21:54is filthy
21:54because of
21:56dollops of seawater
21:57hitting it.
22:15I'm delighted to say
22:16it's now spitting with rain,
22:18which, of course,
22:19is filling up
22:20my water bucket.
22:21that's the sort of recycling
22:23that will leave
22:24Prince Charles breathless.
22:26When I go for my knighthood,
22:28he'll probably bring it up,
22:29I should imagine.
22:32What do you mean by the idea
22:33is you recycling?
22:35You need
22:36to be
22:37to
22:38millions.
22:43Sorry.
22:43I'm not just drying them
22:44if you're going to soak them.
22:45Sorry.
22:49Sorry, Amo.
22:50Did some of that go on you?
22:51What's the point
22:52of me drying fish
22:53if you then get them
22:54wet in a puddle?
22:57It was still
22:58another 150 miles
23:01to bingo.
23:02But we were confident
23:04that even on these roads
23:05we'd get there
23:06by nightfall.
23:11Soon, though,
23:12the going started
23:12to get much worse.
23:15Not so good.
23:17Steady, steady.
23:21Shit!
23:23Oh, it's a massive rut.
23:24Oh, no.
23:31Oh, no.
23:32Oh, f**k.
23:38Come on.
23:41Hammond cannot
23:42possibly make this.
23:45Oh, no.
23:46Not again.
23:47I guess it's quite
23:48struggling now for him.
23:51But actually,
23:53it was the ruggedly
23:54dependable Mercedes
23:55that was the first
23:56crack.
24:00cop, that was going well.
24:03What's the matter to me?
24:05It cut out
24:05when I went
24:06through the puddle.
24:07Would he water on
24:08something
24:09or in something?
24:11Trying to work out
24:12what I can do
24:12about that.
24:15nothing?
24:15Nothing.
24:17However,
24:18because we were all
24:19working as a team,
24:21we had to wait
24:22until his engine
24:23dried out.
24:26Oh, let's go.
24:28Sadly, though,
24:29this wasn't a one-off.
24:35Hang on a minute.
24:36It's killed it.
24:36But give it a minute,
24:37it'll go.
24:46What's the news,
24:47slowly?
24:47Is your car
24:48working or not?
24:49I've got to do my
24:50wait for a minute
24:51and a half.
24:57Why do you have
24:58to break down there,
24:59you clod-hopping old
25:01imbecile?
25:02No, there's nothing
25:03I can do.
25:03Sorry, I have to wait
25:04for a minute
25:05and a half.
25:08How have I put up
25:09with him for so long?
25:12The slow progress
25:13of the Mercedes
25:14was now causing
25:15me problems
25:16because the skies
25:17were dry
25:18and my water bucket
25:19was nearly empty.
25:23He keeps breaking
25:24down in front of me
25:25and then going,
25:26it's a minute
25:26and a half,
25:27you have to wait.
25:28And it isn't a minute
25:28and a half,
25:29it's about 15 minutes.
25:30I must get ice.
25:32We can't afford
25:32to wait for him
25:33bumbling around.
25:34No, you do need
25:35more ice.
25:36I know.
25:36You need more water.
25:37I know we said
25:38we'd work as a team
25:38and we are working
25:40as a team
25:41and the teamwork
25:42is leaving him
25:43behind.
25:43Yep, as a team.
25:47With that decision
25:48made, we set off.
25:51Come on, little bike.
25:52Keep going, baby.
25:53Keep going.
25:55Mostly, the progress
25:57was good.
25:59Oh!
26:05Sorry, that was
26:06not on purpose.
26:10Let's find out
26:11what lies in here
26:12for you.
26:13Come on.
26:21Oh, dearie me.
26:23I think you've
26:24drowned your hog.
26:26Hammond insisted
26:27I get out and help,
26:28but it was all muddy,
26:29so I came up
26:30with a better idea.
26:36Oh!
26:38It's working.
26:41It's working.
26:41This is impressive
26:41delicacy from plants in here.
26:43I'm staggering.
26:45How gentle was that?
26:46You were extraordinarily
26:47gentle.
26:49You know that'll never
26:50work again.
26:51It will.
26:52It was £800
26:53from a supermarket.
26:55Yeah, the handlebars
26:55have come off.
27:02You're blowing water
27:03out of your exhaust pipe.
27:05No way.
27:08Oh, come on!
27:10Why did Ewan McGregor
27:12use a BMW GS?
27:13I don't know.
27:14They're very expensive.
27:15And...
27:16Wasted his money.
27:18What?
27:18That's staggered.
27:21Meanwhile,
27:22much further back,
27:24the soggy dog
27:25was not
27:25being so lucky.
27:35One and a half minutes.
27:39As the afternoon
27:41wore on,
27:43the roads
27:44became even worse.
27:49Come on!
27:50And the human
27:51terrapin
27:52was really
27:53starting to
27:54slow me down.
27:58Right,
27:58my bucket
27:59is now
27:59officially dry.
28:01I have got
28:02to get
28:02to a source
28:03of fresh,
28:04clean water
28:04before
28:05that ice melts.
28:08Come on.
28:09Holy shit!
28:11I am now
28:11in the sink!
28:13Hammond,
28:13we've got to
28:14get to the next town.
28:15Can we stop
28:16messing about?
28:16I'm not
28:17messing about!
28:18You are!
28:18I'm not
28:19messing about!
28:20There are no words!
28:29Come on, Hammond,
28:30we're running out
28:30of ice.
28:32Oh,
28:33bollocks!
28:39This is...
28:41...choice,
28:41but to abandon
28:42my remaining
28:43colleague.
28:45I don't even know
28:46how far away
28:47the next town is.
28:49But I have
28:49got to get there
28:50before the last
28:52of the ice melts.
28:54I've got to get
28:55some water.
28:56And it's going
28:57dark.
28:59Anyone can sing
29:00Feed the World.
29:01It's actually
29:02quite difficult,
29:02though, as it's
29:03turning out,
29:04to do it.
29:05Especially if you
29:06have a motorcycle
29:06or a Mercedes
29:07that you've
29:08converted into
29:08an aquarium.
29:14Come on,
29:15keep going.
29:16Keep going,
29:17German.
29:18That's marvellous.
29:22Bugger.
29:24Bollocks and arse.
29:27However,
29:28after total
29:29darkness fell,
29:32solid teamwork
29:34meant I was
29:35in good shape.
29:39Right,
29:40on the upside,
29:40I found a town,
29:42well,
29:42some kind of
29:42settlement,
29:43where I've got
29:44water and I've
29:45got ice,
29:45so the fish
29:46are fine.
29:46on the downside,
29:49I've just found
29:50out I'm not even
29:50halfway to bingo.
29:52It's the middle
29:53of the night
29:53and Hammond and
29:54Mayer,
29:55hours,
29:56three,
29:56four hours
29:56behind me.
29:59So do I wait
30:00for them?
30:08Oh dear.
30:10Right.
30:11Calm.
30:12Calm.
30:14Calm.
30:14Calm.
30:19Bollocks.
30:37Amazingly,
30:38the morning revealed
30:40that Jeremy
30:40had waited for us,
30:42so our convoy
30:43was reunited.
30:44But before we
30:45could set off,
30:46I had to repair
30:47my bike,
30:48and James
30:49had to refill
30:50his depleted
30:51water tank.
30:53So,
30:54water is just
30:55water.
30:55Oh God.
30:58What do you,
30:58I don't particularly
30:59want to see you,
30:59just to be
31:00absolutely clear.
31:01Why?
31:02Well,
31:02I got here
31:03at 4am,
31:04wet,
31:05with consumption,
31:06smelling like
31:06a damp dog,
31:07tried to sleep
31:08in the car,
31:08and what did I hear?
31:10No idea.
31:11Snoring.
31:12Your car snoring.
31:14That bloody
31:14generator thing,
31:15it's like someone's
31:16snoring,
31:16but without the
31:17pauses in the breath.
31:18The generator is
31:18necessary to keep
31:19my fish fresh.
31:20Where's your
31:20water gone?
31:21On the head.
31:23Anyway,
31:23we've got to make
31:23more water.
31:24This is water.
31:24I was just about
31:25to explain that
31:26that is normal
31:26water,
31:27which we're all
31:27familiar with.
31:28You drink it.
31:28Sea water is salty.
31:30We all know that
31:30as well.
31:31I know,
31:31I brought you some salt.
31:31It's not that
31:32sort of salt.
31:32It is.
31:33No, it isn't.
31:33It's salt.
31:35Exactly.
31:36Sea salt has
31:36extra minerals in
31:37that that doesn't,
31:38that's been refined.
31:39This is sea salt.
31:41So we have to work
31:42out,
31:42I'll show you,
31:43normal water,
31:45needle at the
31:45bottom.
31:46Okay,
31:46we have to mix
31:47enough salt to put
31:48the needle on there,
31:49right at the top
31:50of the scale.
31:50Yeah.
31:51Okay,
31:51and I know
31:51that's 25 litres.
31:53Well,
31:53hold on,
31:53if you're doing
31:5425 litres at a time.
31:55I'm doing 25 litres
31:56to work out how
31:57much salt to put in.
31:59We're going to be
31:59here all morning.
32:00No, we're not.
32:01We are,
32:01because you've got to
32:02fill your entire
32:02tank up.
32:03So what do you
32:03think I should do?
32:04Why are you so angry
32:05with me?
32:05I've come to help.
32:06You haven't come to help.
32:07I haven't been.
32:07I could have almost
32:07done it by now.
32:08You're just standing
32:09there being fatuous
32:10and bringing a thing
32:11of salt from a seaside
32:12cafe from the 1950s
32:13in Morecambe.
32:14Bugger off.
32:15Please.
32:16Get on with it.
32:17Go away.
32:22Right,
32:23so,
32:23we know that's...
32:24Don't talk,
32:25just get on with it.
32:28Having refilled
32:28my tank,
32:29that should be
32:30close enough,
32:31from the fishy
32:31friends.
32:34Our convoy
32:35continued on
32:36its mercy
32:37mission to
32:37bingo.
32:42I've rigged up
32:43a rudimentary
32:44tarpaulin
32:44to try and
32:45reduce the splashing
32:46and give the fish
32:46a better chance.
32:48It does smell
32:50so rank in here
32:51and I haven't even
32:51got the excuse
32:52of dead fish.
32:53I think I've got
32:54crocs rot from
32:55sitting in my own
32:56wet underpants
32:57for 16 hours
32:58yesterday.
33:03Is that an octopus
33:04on the back
33:05of your bike now?
33:06Yes.
33:08Where did you
33:09get that from?
33:10Found it
33:11in a pond.
33:12Hammond,
33:13have you emptied
33:14out the back
33:14of my pickup truck
33:15to reload
33:16your ridiculous
33:17drying system?
33:19No,
33:19I went fishing.
33:21Did you?
33:21It's a freshwater
33:22octopus,
33:23Mozambique
33:24freshwater octopus.
33:25They're quite famous
33:26but very rare.
33:29I hate him.
33:35Right,
33:36yesterday we
33:36covered 100 miles.
33:38Today,
33:40well,
33:40we've still got
33:41100 miles to go
33:43and none of it
33:44from what I hear
33:45is on tarmac.
33:48For me,
33:49that was a
33:49particularly
33:50terrifying prospect.
33:52Oh no,
33:53red dust.
33:54Oh God,
33:55here we go.
33:59It doesn't look
34:00like anything much
34:01but this soft red
34:02sand sits on
34:03a very hard
34:03subsurface
34:04and it is
34:06simply impossible
34:07to ride a bike
34:08over.
34:09It just has
34:10no grip.
34:13Shit.
34:18Front end
34:18got away from me.
34:26There's only
34:26another 100 miles
34:27for this one.
34:29Oh,
34:30for fuck's sake.
34:32I can't do it.
34:34You heard it,
34:35you heard it,
34:36ladies and gentlemen.
34:37I can't do it.
34:38He's not bothered
34:39about world hunger
34:40or poverty.
34:42Just himself.
34:50after a while
34:51though,
34:52Hammond decided
34:53to be brave
34:54with hilarious
34:55consequences.
34:56Come on,
34:57stop it.
35:02Shit.
35:04Oh,
35:05here we go again.
35:07Yep.
35:07No,
35:08yep.
35:09Do you know,
35:10James,
35:11it's actually
35:11possible to get
35:12bored with watching
35:13Hammond fall off
35:14a motorcycle.
35:17Oh,
35:18f***.
35:18Ow,
35:19bollocks.
35:21So let's just
35:22add up the amount
35:23of times I've fallen
35:24off my Datsun
35:25hard body.
35:29Yep,
35:30none.
35:31Because it's got
35:32four wheels.
35:34Meanwhile,
35:35the drier roads
35:36meant my Mercedes
35:37was working well
35:38too.
35:39Temperature stays
35:40spot on.
35:41Oil pressure
35:42goes up and down
35:43a bit,
35:43but there is
35:43some.
35:45Clock is still
35:46right.
35:46It's 25 past
35:47one.
35:48This car is
35:49running as
35:50sweet as
35:51a nut.
35:55Electrical fire.
36:01Whoa,
36:02something's badly
36:02on fire on the
36:03right-hand side
36:03of this car.
36:04I can't understand
36:05how in a car
36:06made almost
36:07entirely from
36:08water.
36:09He's on fire.
36:10Well, that's the
36:10weird thing.
36:11Water with
36:11electrics causes
36:13fires.
36:13That's why you have
36:14a different type of
36:15fire extinguisher
36:15for electrical
36:16fires.
36:18He's even
36:18managing to make
36:19a car fire
36:20boring.
36:23It's electric.
36:24Smell it.
36:27Keen to do my
36:28bit for health
36:29and safety,
36:30I asked one of
36:30our camera team
36:31to modify
36:32James's fish tank
36:33so that if
36:34another fire
36:35broke out,
36:35there'd be
36:36plenty of water
36:37available to
36:38put it out.
36:41Please don't
36:42move out.
36:43Oh,
36:43here we go.
36:44Nope.
36:44Held it.
36:46Several miles
36:46back,
36:47my life was as
36:48miserable as
36:49ever.
36:50Oh, God,
36:51it's the waiting
36:52that kills you.
36:52I'm just waiting
36:53for it to let go.
36:57This is like
36:58being told,
36:59yeah,
36:59you're going to
36:59get the electric
37:00chair.
37:00We'll put you
37:00in it and just
37:02leave you in it
37:02and then sometime
37:04probably in the
37:04next hour or
37:06the next week
37:07we'll flip the
37:08switch.
37:11Oh,
37:12bullocks.
37:42fire taken care
37:43of.
37:44I was now
37:44back on the
37:45move.
37:47All right,
37:48fellas.
37:49I'm sort of
37:50assuming the fish
37:51are boys,
37:51but some of them
37:52must be girls.
37:53Do you get
37:54girl and boy
37:54fishies?
37:55He must do.
37:57He needs to
37:58watch where
37:58he's going,
37:59that boy.
38:12Meanwhile,
38:12up ahead in
38:13the hard body,
38:16I'd run
38:17into a spot
38:17of bother.
38:26What's up?
38:27Ice machine's
38:28broken.
38:30How does
38:31sawing your
38:31bonnet up
38:32mend your
38:32ice machine?
38:33I've had a
38:33brilliant idea
38:34and I'm glad
38:34you're here
38:35actually because
38:35you can give
38:35me a hand.
38:37No,
38:37seriously,
38:38James.
38:38James,
38:38most of our
38:39fish are in
38:43the good fish
38:44are in here.
38:4990% of
38:50our fish
38:51are in the
38:51back of my
38:51pickup truck
38:52and he's
38:53just driven
38:53off.
39:01There's
39:02Hammond.
39:02Hello.
39:03Hello.
39:05Behold,
39:06my genius.
39:06Yeah,
39:06fascinating.
39:11Well,
39:12there we
39:12are.
39:12He's just
39:13done 100
39:13yards without
39:14falling off.
39:18Eventually,
39:18my new fish
39:19preservation
39:20solution was
39:21up and
39:22running.
39:27What I've
39:28done is I've
39:29rerouted the
39:30exhaust through
39:30the bonnet,
39:31over the
39:31cab,
39:32into the
39:32load area
39:32where the
39:33fish are,
39:34which is now
39:34covered with
39:35a tonneau
39:36cover.
39:37And then I've
39:38adjusted the
39:39fueling on
39:39the engine,
39:40so now it's
39:41producing thick,
39:42lumpy black
39:43smoke, which of
39:45course is
39:46smoking the
39:46fish.
39:47And that's
39:47good for the
39:48environment.
39:50Because normally
39:51you have to
39:51have a smokery,
39:52a factory, and
39:54then you have to
39:55transport the
39:55fish to wherever
39:56it is they're
39:57going.
39:58But what I'm
39:58doing here is
40:00I'm making
40:00kippers as I
40:01drive along.
40:03Coal-rolled
40:04kippers.
40:07You'd buy
40:08those.
40:08I know I
40:09would.
40:11Further ahead,
40:12Bono and
40:13Angelina were
40:13discussing the
40:14distance left to
40:15cover.
40:16By my very
40:17rough reckoning,
40:18because my
40:19speedo and my
40:20mile-ometer aren't
40:20working, I think
40:21we've got about
40:22somewhere between
40:2370 and 80
40:24kilometres to go
40:25to bingo.
40:26Why do they have to
40:27live so bloody far
40:28away?
40:29Any fish left?
40:31Yes, I have
40:32two, but I
40:34think it's better
40:34to arrive with
40:35two fish than
40:36not to arrive
40:37with ten.
40:38That's a parable.
40:39Yeah, it sounds
40:40positively biblical,
40:41I think.
40:43But I don't like
40:43the look of this.
40:47Ah, bollocks!
40:52Jeez, that's a big
40:54one.
41:04What is this
41:05stuff?
41:06Oh, hello.
41:09The colleagues.
41:11Is that you,
41:12Carlton?
41:13Sure is.
41:19Move your bloody
41:20car, mate.
41:22What a muppet,
41:23he's got a four-wheel
41:23drive pick-up truck.
41:26What are those bits
41:27of scaffolding
41:28coming out of
41:29your bollies for?
41:30I'm making kippers,
41:31or I would be,
41:32if you hadn't
41:33to block the way.
41:34You say making
41:35kippers?
41:36They look like
41:36the handrails
41:37out of a disabled
41:37shower from back here.
41:38What are they?
41:39They're exhaust pipes.
41:41What?
41:42Ice machine broke,
41:44I'm now turning
41:44them into smokefish.
41:46This is a kipper
41:46factory.
41:47Hang on,
41:48you're smoking
41:49them in diesel smoke?
41:50Yes.
41:52Eh?
41:53Well,
41:53we just smoke.
41:54that's never been
41:55done before?
41:56Nobody's thought of it.
41:57No,
41:58because it's vile.
41:59Well,
41:59what,
42:00you eat wood smoke?
42:01That's disgusting.
42:02You're going to
42:02near a bonfire.
42:03You think oak-smoked
42:04fish is the same
42:05as diesel-smoked
42:06fish?
42:06It's coal-rolled
42:07kippers.
42:08It's under there
42:09now smoking.
42:09No,
42:10because I've
42:10turned the engine
42:10off.
42:11This interesting
42:11discussion was not
42:13helping the people
42:13of Bingo,
42:14so we knuckled
42:16down to the
42:16business of
42:17getting through
42:17the mud.
42:20I'm going to go
42:20behind the trees
42:21because I'm narrow
42:22so I can.
42:24Oh,
42:25that's a thorn
42:26tree.
42:27No.
42:28Oh,
42:29Christ.
42:31Get off.
42:33Meanwhile,
42:34May made me
42:34give him a tow.
42:37Right,
42:37James May,
42:38are you ready?
42:40Go.
42:47Yes!
42:51Off you go,
42:52keep going.
42:55I'm stuck here
42:56on bottom down.
42:58And that's
42:59pretty much all
42:59I did for the
43:01rest of the day.
43:04So close.
43:08Here we go
43:09again.
43:10Let's turn it out.
43:15Listen to that
43:16CV joint.
43:19Damn him
43:20and his stupid
43:21aquarium
43:22which weighs
43:231,800 tons.
43:33That's the most
43:33stunt it's ever
43:34been.
43:35Oh,
43:35thank God.
43:38Luckily,
43:39Ewan McHammond
43:40was always on
43:41hand to provide
43:42some comic relief.
43:44Aha!
43:45I can go
43:45in the middle,
43:46you see?
43:49Oh.
43:55You do realise
43:56it's entirely
43:57possible
43:57that we won't
43:58end up
43:59in bingo
44:00even today.
44:02Ah.
44:05I'll pass
44:06three and
44:06we have
44:07done,
44:08since we
44:08set off
44:08at seven o'clock
44:09this morning,
44:1152 miles.
44:15That meant
44:16there was
44:16another
44:1750 miles
44:18to go.
44:19Fortunately,
44:20however,
44:21there was
44:21no more
44:21mud.
44:23unfortunately,
44:24it was
44:25replaced
44:26by this.
44:29The
44:30wettest
44:30road
44:30I'd
44:31ever
44:32seen.
44:36Oh,
44:37my word,
44:37this is
44:38a deep
44:38one.
44:41Diffs
44:41locked,
44:42low
44:42range.
44:49Oh,
44:50wow.
44:55There's
44:56water,
44:56a lot
44:57of water
44:57has come
44:58in.
45:00I am
45:01up to
45:01my anus
45:02now,
45:02in water.
45:07As
45:07Jeremy
45:08waded
45:08through the
45:09lake,
45:10I found
45:11a narrow
45:12path
45:12round the
45:13edge.
45:14Ha,
45:14ha,
45:15ha,
45:15ha,
45:16ha,
45:16Hammond's
45:16done.
45:20That's
45:20an
45:21incredible
45:21machine,
45:22this is.
45:25Look at
45:26this,
45:26Hammond.
45:29Oh,
45:30oh,
45:32you've got
45:32all water
45:33in it,
45:33mate.
45:33Yes,
45:34exactly,
45:34it's come
45:34up above
45:35the level
45:35of my
45:36doors.
45:36Have you
45:37checked
45:37for fish?
45:39Look,
45:39well,
45:40I mean,
45:40don't,
45:40it's stupid.
45:41No,
45:41given what
45:42we're doing.
45:43With two
45:44of us safely
45:44across,
45:45all eyes
45:46were now
45:46on the
45:47hopeless
45:47Macquarium.
45:49James,
45:50it is
45:51extremely
45:51deep.
45:52No,
45:53that's okay,
45:53I'll do
45:53just a
45:54gentle
45:54bow wave
45:55like they
45:55do at
45:56off-road
45:56school.
45:59Here he
46:00comes.
46:04There you
46:04go.
46:08Oh,
46:09shit.
46:16Help.
46:17Oh,
46:17your fish
46:18are going
46:18to escape.
46:19Oh,
46:19James,
46:20don't let
46:20the fresh
46:21water
46:21get in
46:21your salt
46:22water.
46:23I don't
46:23give a
46:23toss about
46:24that.
46:24Come and
46:25get me.
46:25I have
46:26rescued you
46:26one million
46:27times.
46:28I'm not
46:29telling that
46:29damn thing
46:30anymore.
46:30You are
46:31breaking the
46:31CV joints
46:32in my
46:33hard body.
46:35Having
46:36finally got
46:36fed up with
46:37him,
46:37Hammond and
46:38I decided
46:39to get
46:39radical.
46:44so that
46:45night,
46:45as James
46:46slept,
46:49we
46:50modified
46:51his car
46:51slightly.
47:11This made
47:13James very
47:14unpleased.
47:15you bastards!
47:18I hate
47:19you!
47:20Both of
47:21you!
47:23You
47:24utter
47:24bastards!
47:26Listen,
47:26I am
47:27prepared to
47:28tow your
47:28boot full
47:29of water.
47:30That's
47:30important.
47:31I'm not
47:31going to
47:31tow a
47:32dead engine
47:32that's full
47:33of water
47:33as well.
47:34that's
47:34just a
47:34waste
47:34of fuel.
47:36Rubbish!
47:36It wasn't
47:37dead.
47:37I could
47:37have
47:37mended
47:37that
47:38once
47:38we
47:38dragged
47:38it
47:38out.
47:39It's a
47:39ignition.
47:40I've
47:40done it
47:40five times
47:41already.
47:42You
47:42complete
47:43moron!
47:44I hope
47:45you get
47:45Bill
47:45Hartz
47:46here
47:46of
47:46the
47:46bull
47:46sack.
47:47Right,
47:48that's
47:48it.
47:48He's
47:48asked
47:49for
47:49it.
47:54Funny.
47:55Very
47:56funny.
47:59Bloody
48:00mad.
48:02I think
48:03you're
48:03following
48:04him too
48:04closely.
48:05Why don't
48:05you
48:05sod
48:06off?
48:07Has
48:07it
48:07affected
48:07the
48:08handling?
48:17What
48:18was
48:18that?
48:21Fearful
48:21that
48:22James
48:22was
48:22about
48:22to
48:23catch
48:23cancer
48:24from
48:24my
48:24coal
48:24rolling,
48:29I
48:30invited
48:30him
48:30to
48:31enter
48:31my
48:31hard
48:31body.
48:34And
48:34was
48:34he
48:34grateful?
48:35No.
48:39The
48:39ride
48:40in this
48:40thing
48:40is
48:41appalling.
48:42Why
48:42is it
48:43so
48:43bad?
48:43So
48:44if
48:44an
48:44ambulance
48:44came
48:45to
48:45rescue
48:45you,
48:46would
48:47you
48:47complain
48:47about
48:47the
48:47quality
48:48of
48:48the
48:48ambulance?
48:49No.
48:50Why are you
48:51complaining about
48:51everything I've
48:52done for you?
48:53Because you're
48:53rescuing me
48:54from
48:54effective
48:55injury that
48:55you inflicted.
48:56I'd still
48:57complain about
48:57the man
48:58who mugged
48:58me if
48:58he then
48:59said,
48:59oh,
48:59I'll
48:59be
48:59up,
48:59mate.
49:00I'd
49:00still
49:00complain.
49:02Let's
49:02be brutally
49:02honest,
49:03shall we?
49:04Your car's
49:05been a
49:05terrible
49:05nuisance
49:06all the
49:06way
49:07along.
49:07Not
49:07to
49:07me.
49:08It
49:09has to
49:09me
49:09because
49:09I've
49:09had to
49:10wait
49:10for
49:10it
49:10for
49:10days.
49:11You're
49:11so
49:12noble,
49:12I won't
49:13forget to
49:13mention
49:14you in
49:14my
49:14speech.
49:15You're
49:15not
49:16going to
49:16go.
49:16You're
49:16not
49:17getting
49:17a
49:17Nobel
49:17prize.
49:18Why
49:18not?
49:19Because
49:19you're
49:19only
49:19three
49:20quarters
49:20of
49:21a
49:21car.
49:21You
49:22don't
49:22get
49:22the
49:22price
49:22for
49:23how
49:23much
49:23car
49:23you
49:23bring.
49:24You
49:24get
49:24the
49:24price
49:24for
49:24bringing
49:24the
49:25fish.
49:27Don't
49:28forget
49:28you're
49:28towing
49:28my
49:29fish,
49:29i.e.
49:30the
49:30fish
49:30that
49:30are
49:31still
49:31edible.
49:32Mine
49:32are
49:32edible.
49:33No,
49:33they're
49:33not.
49:33I can
49:34assure
49:34you
49:34they're
49:35not.
49:36It
49:37was a
49:37shame
49:37about
49:38James'
49:38bad
49:38mood
49:39because
49:39we
49:40were
49:40on
49:40the
49:40verge
49:41of
49:41success.
49:44Sure,
49:45our plan
49:46to feed
49:46the world
49:47had been
49:47beset on
49:48all sides
49:48by much
49:49discomfort
49:53and many
49:54setbacks.
49:55What
49:55eight plus
49:56one
49:56that
49:56got
49:56out
49:56in
49:56the
49:57boat?
49:57I
49:58am
49:58up
49:58to
49:59my
49:59anus
49:59now
50:00in
50:00water.
50:04There'd
50:04been
50:05some
50:05terrible
50:05smells
50:06too
50:09and
50:10several
50:10accidents
50:13some
50:14of which
50:14were quite
50:15funny
50:20but
50:21despite
50:22everything
50:22we were
50:23now
50:23just
50:23a
50:24few
50:24miles
50:24from
50:25bingo.
50:26I
50:27think
50:28if we're
50:28going to
50:28be sensible
50:29what we
50:30should have
50:31done
50:31is had
50:32a pickup
50:32truck
50:32with an
50:33aquarium
50:34in the
50:34back.
50:35We sort
50:36of have
50:36it.
50:40That
50:41motorcycle
50:41has been
50:42remarkable.
50:43It's 800
50:44quid from a
50:44supermarket.
50:46I know
50:46Hammond's been
50:47obsessing about
50:48how he doesn't
50:48look like
50:49Ewan McGregor
50:50in the long
50:50way down
50:51but to me
50:51he does
50:52because it's a
50:53motorcycle
50:53and they're all
50:54exactly the same
50:55in my mind.
50:56We could make
50:56a film of all
50:57of his crashes
50:57and call it
50:58Wrong Way Up.
51:03I've got to
51:03tell you one
51:04thing.
51:05You know
51:05normally
51:06people from
51:07television or
51:08film or
51:09whatever come
51:09out to Africa
51:10to do
51:10charitable work.
51:12They're
51:13photographed by
51:14Hello magazine
51:14and then it's
51:15back to the
51:16hotel,
51:17Chateauneuf-du-Pap,
51:18fly home to
51:19get the OBE.
51:20Right.
51:21They don't
51:21actually do
51:22what we've
51:22done,
51:22do they?
51:23No,
51:24I don't
51:24think so.
51:25I've never
51:26seen Victoria
51:27Beckham
51:27trying to
51:28pull half
51:29a Mercedes
51:30across
51:32Mozambique.
51:41Bingo!
51:43There it is.
51:44Our quest
51:44is at an end.
51:48Sir Jeremy
51:49and the
51:49Nobel
51:50award-winning
51:51James May
51:52and Richard
51:52Tannen are
51:53arriving.
51:55Hello.
51:56We've got good
51:57news for you
51:57guys.
52:00Aware that
52:01our fish may
52:02cause a stampede,
52:03we found a
52:04spot with enough
52:05space to
52:06accommodate
52:06the crowds.
52:08Are you ready?
52:09This will get
52:10them running
52:10over here.
52:11You watch.
52:14Oh,
52:16look at that.
52:18Hundreds and
52:19hundreds of
52:20delicious fish
52:22diesel-infused
52:23kippers.
52:26James, however,
52:28was not so happy
52:29about the
52:29condition of
52:30his fish.
52:32And for some
52:33reason,
52:34he blamed me.
52:35All that
52:36messing around
52:36and dragging
52:37around,
52:37you killed
52:37them.
52:38Those were
52:38all alive
52:39this morning.
52:40All of them
52:40are dead.
52:41How do you know
52:42all of them are?
52:43Because they're
52:43floating,
52:44that's what fish
52:44do.
52:45I've kept those
52:45alive for three
52:46days,
52:46you muppet.
52:47I mean,
52:48it doesn't matter
52:48because they're
52:49still fresh.
52:50Because you did
52:50this,
52:50you dragged it
52:51along bouncing
52:51around too much
52:52and not thinking
52:53about the fish,
52:53and you finished
52:54them off.
52:56This, though,
52:56was no time to get
52:57bogged down with
52:58who'd killed
52:59James' fish,
53:00because it was
53:01him.
53:01So we got on
53:02with the job of
53:03setting up our
53:04stalls.
53:05Is that a
53:06straight?
53:06No.
53:08And eventually,
53:09we were ready
53:10for the crowds
53:10to descend.
53:30Customer,
53:31customer.
53:46Nobody's interested.
53:49So we moved
53:50on to the next
53:51phase of our
53:51plan.
53:52It's the man
53:53from Hello!
53:53magazine getting
53:54these shots.
53:54Oh, he's there.
53:55He's there.
53:56Oh, yeah.
53:57Can we move?
53:58Concerned.
53:59Concerned.
53:59Can you see
54:00a concerned face?
54:02Yeah.
54:06Can you make
54:06sure you get
54:07plenty of
54:07local people
54:08in the background?
54:09It's obvious
54:10I'm in Africa.
54:13And then,
54:14with not a single
54:15fish given away
54:16but the pictures
54:17taken,
54:18there was only
54:18one thing left
54:19to do.
54:20Chats,
54:21let's get
54:21the helicopter.
54:39You're on the
54:41We'll be right
54:58I love you
54:59out there,
55:00I just want to
55:01in here and
55:01and I'll be right
55:03in here.
55:05We'll be right
55:05next time.
55:05Make these
55:06and tell them
55:06that's
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