#TheGrandTour #OneForTheRoad #ClarksonHammondMay #FinalLap #ZimbabweSpecial
After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.
#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory
After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.
#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory
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MotorTranscript
00:04You
01:00Hello.
01:02Hello.
01:03Hello, everybody.
01:08Hello.
01:16And coming up in this never-to-be-forgotten show...
01:21Richard operates a bat.
01:25James sits in a car humming.
01:31And I park outside a cathedral.
01:37Thank you so much.
01:40Thank you, sir.
01:42Now, this is...
01:43This is a bit of a Ford-based show because we were staggered to hear the other day that they're
01:51thinking of pulling the plug on the Mondeo.
01:54Now, this is enormous news.
01:58In Britain, losing the Mondeo is a bit like, well, losing the royal family.
02:03Yeah.
02:03And if that happened, someone would make a documentary about it.
02:06Quite, which is why we decided this week the Grand Tour should make a documentary about the passing of Ford's
02:13medium-sized family saloon.
02:15It's exciting stuff.
02:23The Mondeo story actually begins way back when the world was black and white.
02:28With this, the Ford Cortina.
02:34This is Genesis, the first chapter in easily the most important book in British motoring history.
02:45It came along in 1962, and apart from the CND rear lights, it was nothing special.
02:54It wasn't revolutionary like the Mini. It was just an ordinary family saloon.
03:02Ford, therefore, decided that to put it on the map, they'd mount an assault on the world's racetracks, which meant
03:08creating a high-performance version.
03:11The world's first ever fast Ford.
03:14And this is what they came up with.
03:33Life doesn't get much better than this. Cadwell Park, sunny day, Park 1 Lotus Cortina.
03:42This thing is a riot.
03:48It had a revolutionary twin-cap 1.6-litre engine, which sounds like a murder of mad bees.
04:00It revved like hell, all the way to 8,000 rpm, and produced 105 horsepower.
04:15Oh, wow!
04:20The result was some spectacular performance.
04:23The road cars would do 108 miles an hour in a race trip.
04:29That shot up to 145.
04:33That was the stuff of spaceships back then.
04:37And best of all, if you were really on it, it would lift the front wheel in the corners.
04:47On the downside, it didn't stop properly.
04:51And there was very little grip.
04:54So it was an oversteer mentalist.
04:59It was also astonishingly brittle.
05:03Autocar magazine ran one for a year, 29,000 miles.
05:07And in that time, it needed six rear axles and three sets of rear suspension,
05:13and probably a whole load of new half shaft as well, because they were made from chocolate.
05:18But it didn't matter, because the Lotus Cortina wasn't designed to last a lifetime.
05:24It was designed to last about 40 minutes.
05:27Because that is how long a race lasted.
05:33Back in the early 60s, saloon car racing in Britain was just about the most exciting motorsport the world had
05:40ever seen.
05:42The massive American Fords would roar down the straights, and then in the corners, the army of minis would be
05:49right back at them.
05:50It was beautiful, snarling chaos.
05:56But when the dust settled, it was the Lotus Cortina that was doing the winning.
06:02It actually won the championship in 1964.
06:06And it didn't only shine on the tracks.
06:10In 1966, it won the RAC Rally of Britain.
06:14They even drove one down the bobsled run in the Italian resort, after which the Cortina had been named.
06:23Here's what the famed bobsled run looks like from the driver's seat of the world-famous Cortina.
06:30At this point in history, rationing had only just given way to the Rolling Stones.
06:36Hemlines were going up, and all kinds of groovy stuff was going down.
06:41And the glamorous Cortina caught the mood of the moment perfectly.
06:47It was exciting.
06:50The first car ever that made the ordinary family man feel special, like he wasn't just a downtrodden cog.
06:58And it was the same story with the Mark II Cortina and the Mark III.
07:05The result was spectacular.
07:07One car in every three, sold in the UK, was a Ford.
07:11And one in ten was a Cortina.
07:14Everyone I've spoken to while I've been preparing this film has said the same thing.
07:18Oh, yeah, my dad used to have one of those.
07:20I mean, on the crew here, whose dad had a Cortina?
07:24Just look at that. It's everyone, apart from the director, obviously, who has a double-barrelled name, so his dad
07:29had a Range Rover.
07:30But anyway, the point is, these were the best-selling cars Britain had ever seen by miles.
07:38Of course, it wasn't all rampant sexism and hilarious handling that Ford used to make a name for its family
07:45saloon.
07:47There was some important business stuff, too.
07:52Back in late 1960s Britain, if you earned £3,000 a year, the government would take 41% of it
08:00away in tax.
08:01So, to get round this problem, a lot of companies paid their staff a bit less, but then, to make
08:06up the difference, they gave them a car.
08:09And that wasn't subject to any tax at all.
08:15Ford cottoned onto that and came up with a variety of trim levels to suit the typical management structure.
08:24There was a base model for the sales rep.
08:28And the L for the sales manager.
08:32Then you had the XL with a clock and a locking glove compartment for the sales director.
08:39And the powerful GT for the managing director.
08:46Ford's badging policy quite literally changed the class system in Britain.
08:51Because we used to judge people on how they held their knife and fork or whether they said toilet or
08:56lavatory.
08:57But after the Cortina came along, it was all based on what it said on your boot lid.
09:04Our dads understood what these badgers meant.
09:07And boy, oh boy, so did we.
09:17You join me in Doncaster, outside my old school.
09:21And I remember very clearly coming out of that gog one afternoon in 1969, skipping along here, coming round this
09:29gate post here,
09:30and I noticed that parked over there was a 1600 E, an E in amber gold, just like that one.
09:39And in it was my dad.
09:43And that was impossible.
09:46The E was the absolute king of the hill.
09:51It had four dials set into its wooden dash.
09:54It had a leather and aluminium steering wheel.
09:58And on the outside, there were row-style wheels and front fog lamps.
10:03It was beautiful and wondrous and exciting beyond words.
10:12I can still remember now, vividly, how I felt. My knees actually buckled.
10:22I...
10:24The hairs on the back of my neck are rising now in exactly the same way as they did on
10:30that autumn day 50 years ago.
10:32I can also remember the enormity of the hug I gave my dad because I was just so proud of
10:39him.
10:39I mean, he had an E.
10:41An E stood for executive.
10:44My dad had a 1600 E.
10:47I mean, that meant he was better than the Duke of Edinburgh.
10:56A few years later, in South Wales, another young boy called James May went through the exact same thing.
11:05I was at my mate Andrew Jones's house, just up the road from ours, when his dad came in and
11:10said that my dad had just arrived home and he had a new car.
11:15So, I went outside and there, parked next to the kerb, was a brand new Cortina GXL.
11:24And I thought, well, that can't be my dad's new car.
11:29But it was.
11:33This was the all-new Mark III Cortina.
11:37And, because it was the GXL model, it had chrome strips on the grill, and a vinyl roof, and four
11:46auxiliary dials that were angled towards the driver.
11:50It also had something called a rev counter, and I'd never seen one of those before.
11:54But when I looked at it, I suddenly became aware that my body could produce ceiling.
12:04Unfortunately, not all children in Britain were as fortunate as James and me.
12:10Because some of them were born in Birmingham.
12:21And you couldn't really have a Ford here, because this was the home of British Leyland.
12:35I grew up here, on this street, and I remember the day my dad came home with our new car.
12:40I prayed it would be a Cortina. Literally prayed. But it wasn't.
12:49What it was, was a shoulder-sagging bag of disappointment called the Austin Allegro Estate.
12:58It doesn't even have four doors!
13:01What was my father thinking? Why did he do that to us?
13:06I fell to my childish knees, threw my head back, and I howled at the sky.
13:10Birds across Birmingham took off.
13:13Deer in Strapford-upon-Avon looked up. Such was my horror.
13:16This was the summit. This was it. This is the best that we, the Hammonds, could do.
13:23We lived in suburbia. People drive past all the time. They see your car.
13:27They judge you if you have a wishing well or a gate.
13:29We had this on our drive, where people could see it.
13:35Because my dad had the GXL, he got the brake servo and the alternator as standard.
13:42I'm sorry to keep banging on about this GXL thing, but my mate Lonnie, his dad only had an XL.
13:49So he was scum.
13:52I walked home from school. That wasn't because I wanted the exercise.
13:56That's because I would rather walk or hop or crawl 30 miles than be seen getting into that.
14:03It's cars like this. It's secrets, dark secrets like this lurking in people's past that creates serial killers and psychopaths.
14:12It's a bloody miracle. I'm not one.
14:15It's not being short that makes me an angry man or being born in Birmingham.
14:19It's this. It's you.
14:22I could have been great. I could have had dignity, social standing. I could have mattered.
14:27But you came into my life.
14:31My dad bought a Mark III Cortina because he had three children and he wanted them to be safe.
14:38And he knew they would be safe because Ford had made a film telling him so.
14:42We've got the teddy bears in, we've got the golf clubs, we've got the racing car.
14:46And if you don't happen to carry those things, but you have a bigger family, you can pack those in
14:51as well.
14:52Even with five children in the back, you can drive in a more or less relaxed fashion, safe in the
14:58knowledge that they're kept in the four-door Cortina with child-proof safety locks.
15:03I've never driven one of these before and, to be honest, I never wanted to because that really would be
15:07meeting a childhood hero.
15:11I love it, though.
15:14It's...
15:15Ah! That ain't seem better now, can't you? What about this one? I'd take...
15:22Back in 1974, we used to have regular power cuts because of the minor strike and there was absolutely nothing
15:28to do in our completely pitch-black house.
15:30So I used to go outside and sit in my dad's car and just pretend to drive it, which was
15:35brilliant.
15:35Not least because you could turn the light on, which you couldn't do in the house.
15:44Light.
15:46Oh, I used to love the power cuts.
15:52Outside of Birmingham then, everyone, young and old, was in love with Ford's four-door saloon.
15:59Because of this love affair, Ford sold a Cortina somewhere in Britain every 47 seconds.
16:07In 20 years, they sold 2.6 million of them.
16:12And, let me put it this way, British Leyland took twice as long as that to sell half as many
16:19minis.
16:24The Cortina then had become a part of the fabric of Britain.
16:29It was the nitrogen of our existence.
16:34But, on the 22nd of July, 1982,
16:40Ford pulled the plug.
16:44And that was the end of that.
16:49Oh, great.
16:50It's a bad story, of course.
16:52Yeah, it is.
16:52Well, it's a great story.
16:53Well, it goes off.
16:54Yeah, it is.
16:55Keep me on back, sir.
16:59I just want to do, I just want to do one thing.
17:01Can I just ask, how many people's dads here had Cortinas?
17:06Look at that.
17:07Yeah.
17:07That's an astonishing array, isn't it?
17:10Amazing.
17:10Yes, it is.
17:12It makes me feel real.
17:13Just to put some perspective on this, Ford sold 2.6 million Cortinas.
17:18Austin sold 57,000 Allegro Estates.
17:23That's it.
17:24It's a shame one of them was to your dad.
17:26You're damn right.
17:27It ruined my life.
17:29Anyway, we shall pick up the Ford story later on, but now it is time for us to deploy the
17:34plastic bag of chat
17:36to scoop up some dog eggs of debate from the pavements of Conversation Street.
17:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:52I don't know.
17:54Whatever it was.
17:58Now, actually, despite the incredible snaziness of those graphics,
18:03we don't actually have time for traditional Conversation Street this week.
18:06No, we don't.
18:07Because we are engaged, as we said, in important documentary-making work.
18:10We are, which is why I would like to talk about body-coloured bumpers.
18:14I think you should.
18:15Yes, I will, because in the old days, if you were driving up the motorway
18:18and a car came up behind you and they had bumpers the same colour as the car
18:23and you only had black plastic bumpers, you knew you had to get out of the way.
18:27Yeah, they were better than you.
18:29Yeah, they were better than you because of that.
18:31OK, what if you were driving up the motorway, looked in the rear-view mirror, OK,
18:36and you saw the car behind had head restraints?
18:42Honestly, head restraints, I used to look at those
18:44in the way people these days look at superyachts.
18:47They were simply unattainable.
18:49I mean, you could not have.
18:50These are the symbols of rank.
18:52I mean, if you had a sunroof, you were an emperor.
18:56What if it was an electric sunroof?
19:00Oh, my God!
19:01You were probably from space.
19:02You were a space emperor.
19:05Let me see if I can explain this in a language people under 40 understand, OK?
19:09It's the same as going for a job, OK?
19:11Your boss saying, we're going to give you a pay cut, but we're going to give you a phone, OK?
19:15And this phone you can use to make calls.
19:18And then, if you work really hard for a couple of years, we'll give you an iPhone L,
19:23and you can use that to make texts as well.
19:26And then, if you stay with us for 30 years and you never put a foot wrong,
19:29you can have an iPhone GXL.
19:32Because that's what...
19:33I mean, I have no idea which one this is.
19:35Is it a 7, an 8, a 9?
19:37I don't know.
19:37No, you don't know.
19:38But the thing is, under 1970s rules, you would have known,
19:41because that would have had a great big chrome GXL badge on.
19:44Yes, and a chrome strip round the outside and fog lights here.
19:47Yeah, exactly.
19:47What is it?
19:48They were the badges of rank and everybody could see them,
19:51and that was the world we lived in.
19:52My dad, right, when he had the 1600E, he had a minor front-end biff in it, yes?
19:57The local Ford garage replaced the damage grill with one from a 1600 Super.
20:02And my dad said, no, it doesn't matter.
20:04But it did!
20:05It was more important than the Vietnam War!
20:09He's publicly humiliated.
20:10People are going, they haven't really got a 1600E.
20:12Look, there's chrome in there.
20:13It is a 1600E!
20:14You just put fog lights on it.
20:15We have, and we've really got one, honestly.
20:18These things mattered so much.
20:19Well, they really did.
20:20Didn't...
20:21You had a 1600E?
20:22Oh, we did.
20:23No, ten years after my dad sold his, I bought one.
20:26Oh, well done.
20:26That was imaginative.
20:27Was my...
20:28Says the man whose first car was...
20:31Toyota Corolla?
20:32It was a lift bag, actually.
20:34But my 1600E, I modified it.
20:37Oh, God.
20:37I put...
20:38I put a Debbie Harry badge in the middle of the steering wheel.
20:42Fur-lined doors.
20:44Ooh.
20:44Wolf race seats.
20:46And a chromed sports air filter.
20:49Which, I told my mates, that gives extra 40 horsepower, that doesn't it?
20:53Really.
20:53But I told all my mates it did.
20:55Do you know what you did there?
20:56What?
20:57By fitting those extra bits, like the sports air filter, onto your car,
21:00you were effectively calling yourself Jeremy Clarkson OBE
21:04when you didn't have one.
21:05Which is a good one.
21:06Yes.
21:06With those fur-lined doors, you had interfered with the class system.
21:11Mm.
21:11Mm.
21:12But let's not forget, shall we, you modified your Corolla
21:15by driving it into a Volvo.
21:17Yeah, I did.
21:19I did do that.
21:19I did do that.
21:20It was my first crash.
21:21The first of many?
21:22Yes, all right.
21:23Yes.
21:23You'd rather set the trend for your life, didn't it?
21:25Yes, I got the hang of it.
21:26It was a defining moment.
21:26Yes, all right.
21:27I'm not crashing, I'm going to make a living out of this.
21:29Oh, there I go again.
21:30And I did.
21:39You know, I've, I've never actually owned a Ford.
21:42What?
21:43No.
21:44That's like saying you've never owned your own pen.
21:46I've never bought a stamp.
21:48Yeah, I mean, even I have managed to own a Ford.
21:51After I left Birmingham, I moved on, and I had two, but sort of in the same car.
21:57The front, the front of one and the back of the other joint.
22:00It was absolutely hopeless.
22:02Were they the same colour?
22:03Well, when I bought them, broadly similar, yes, they were.
22:07Well, look, this is, well, it's not really Conversation Street, is it?
22:09No.
22:10It's more Memory Lane.
22:11But anyway, we now have to get back to the Cortina.
22:14Yes, we do, because when it was killed off in 1982, Ford didn't give up on the idea
22:19of a multi-million selling medium-sized family saloon.
22:22They came up with a replacement.
22:25It was called the Sierra.
22:27Here is a picture of it.
22:28And to begin with, it was a bit of a lemon.
22:31It was.
22:31When it came out, everybody said they hated its kind of futuristic aerodynamic shape.
22:36They said it looked horrid like a jelly mould.
22:38And then everybody worked out the aerodynamics didn't even work.
22:43Now, it turned out in a straight line it was fine, but when it got hit by a crosswind,
22:46or it would overtake a truck on the motorway, it would veer about like a drunk.
22:51Yeah, another problem was the motor trade hated it, because that plastic front end,
22:56if you had a crash, it would boing back into shape, which was brilliant,
22:59but you didn't know that everything behind it was actually smashed to pieces.
23:04Now, Ford decided there was only one way to get everybody to fall in love with its new mid-salist
23:09family saloon,
23:10something they'd done before.
23:12Make a fast version.
23:15What they came up with was this.
23:20The Sierra RS Cosworth.
23:25A car that could do 150 miles an hour.
23:40It was 1986.
23:42Lots of cars could do 150, but not a Ford.
23:46That was madness.
23:49BMW and Mercedes could not believe it.
23:51This was the gardener coming into the parlour and kicking the Baron's teeth out.
23:59The blue bloods were being absolutely battered by this, the blue collar worker.
24:09The Sierra's muscle came from Cosworth.
24:12The British engine builder whose most famous Formula One V8 had taken a staggering 176 Grand Prix victories.
24:23They took a drab cast iron saloon car engine and fitted it with an aluminium twin cam head,
24:30a turbo the size of a dustbin, and turned it into a masterpiece.
24:39It was built to be a hard-working unit, this, as you can tell.
24:44The interesting thing about this engine, though, is if you look carefully, you can see there's a second set of
24:48injectors that weren't actually connected to anything.
24:51They were installed because Ford knew they'd been necessary when they did what they always did with their family cars.
24:58Go racing with them.
25:02With those injectors engaged and bigger turbos fitted, the race cars were churning out a massive 525 horsepower.
25:14They were unstoppable.
25:17The Ford Sierra Cosworth, the top touring car of the day.
25:22In its day, the Sierra won 84% of races it entered. 84%.
25:30And that makes it the most successful racing car ever made.
25:37I'd love to meet a driver who raced one and didn't win.
25:41Right, so I had absolutely the best tool for the job, and everyone else has won with it except me.
25:47I'm fired, aren't I?
25:54To keep the road-going rocket ship, a limited slip diff, and its most famous feature.
26:03That massive back wing.
26:05And that wing says everything about the Cosworth.
26:08Compared with grown-up things from Mercedes and BMW, it says,
26:12Ah, sod off. I don't care what you think about me.
26:18But it was also there for a reason. To make actual downfalls.
26:23Which, according to men called Gav in every flat-roof pub in the country,
26:27meant the Sierra could drive upside down on the roof of a tunnel.
26:35I'm not sure about that. This thing is still pretty lively.
26:59It brings out the worst in you. This is like a really bad mate.
27:03You know, the one you absolutely love, but nobody appreciates you hanging around with him.
27:11Cosworth turned the Sierra into one of the most desirable cars on the planet.
27:17And because it only costs 17 grand, 6 grand less than a BMW M3,
27:23your local builder could have one.
27:26However, while everyone wanted Ford's latest working-class hero,
27:31not everyone was prepared to pay for it.
27:35Joyriders. Joyriders. Joyriders. Joyriders in a stolen Sierra Cosworth.
27:39Driving around a Newcastle housing estate.
27:42The high-performance vehicle is the Twocker's favourite.
27:46In the late 80s, car crime saw a massive spike, and the Cosworth was at its tip.
27:56Here was a car with the performance of a supercar and the locks of a shed.
28:02If you had five seconds in the screwdriver, you too could have a Sierra Cosworth.
28:07And whatever you did next, the fuzz couldn't catch you.
28:12Ford tried to get on top of things by stripping off the wing
28:16and putting the firecracker engine into a sober four-door shell
28:20to make this the Sierra Sapphire Cosworth.
28:25But it didn't work.
28:29If anything, the Crims were grateful.
28:31Oh, thanks, back doors.
28:33Makes it easier for the lads to get in after a bank job.
28:35But ultimately...
28:36What?
28:42Oh, for God's sake.
28:48Things got so bad by the early 90s
28:50that the Sierra Cosworth was five and a half times more likely to be stolen
28:54than any other car.
28:56There were many owners who reported being followed by criminals,
29:00waiting for them to park so they could nick it.
29:03That would take the edge off the pleasure of owning it, if I'm honest.
29:07Ford got so desperate, they dropped the price of the Cosworth by £7,000,
29:13the value of an entire Fiesta just to shift the things.
29:17And even that didn't work.
29:20There were numerous reports at the time of Cosworth owners
29:23receiving insurance quotes that were more than the value of the car
29:27and eventually insuring a Sierra Cosworth
29:30became not just expensive but impossible.
29:34They were uninsurable.
29:38But by then, it didn't matter.
29:41The Sierra Cosworth had done its job,
29:44just as the Lotus Cortina had done 25 years earlier.
29:49By making an ordinary family saloon seem impossibly cool.
30:09APPLAUSE
30:09Obviously, I'm just flipping grueling.
30:11It's a legend, isn't it?
30:12Absolute legend, grueling watching.
30:16I absolutely loved...
30:18I adored the Sierra Cosworth.
30:21It was brilliant.
30:21Fabulous.
30:22Absolutely fabulous.
30:23But I need to do a bit more documentary work.
30:27Yep, I think so.
30:27See, the Cosworth wasn't the most important thing about the Sierra.
30:31The most important thing was the Sierra changed the Labour Party.
30:35Really?
30:36It genuinely did.
30:37A young Tony Blair was out canvassing one day,
30:40saw a man washing his Sierra on the drive, sort of went up to him,
30:43and the Labour Party policy back then, as now actually,
30:47was to get the man out of his car and back where he belonged on a bus.
30:50Yes?
30:51Yes.
30:51Tony Blair realised this guy didn't want to go on a bus,
30:54he wanted a better Sierra, faster Sierra.
30:55Sierra with headrests.
30:57So he went away and he created new Labour as a result of that conversation.
31:01Absolutely.
31:02And then started an illegal war.
31:05LAUGHTER
31:10He did.
31:11He did.
31:15He did do those two things, yes.
31:18Should we get back to the car?
31:20Yeah, good idea.
31:20Because we must now find out how fast the...
31:23Let's see if I can still pronounce it properly.
31:25The culze.
31:26Yeah, he's still got it.
31:27Yeah, that's good.
31:27The culze.
31:28You know what I mean, the culze.
31:29Let's see how fast it goes around the ebola-drome.
31:33And away it goes, gentle off the line,
31:36but then a scuff of wheelspin as the turbo roars into life
31:40and catapults it onto the isn't.
31:45A 1980s gear change workout there.
31:48And a lot of body roll on those soft 80s springs.
31:55Oh, look at that!
31:56Driving it like it's stolen, which 30 years ago it would have been.
32:00There we go.
32:01Yep, bit of oversteer into your name here.
32:04You don't see that from the modern stuff.
32:06And now the turbo lag clears as it fires back down the isn't.
32:11This won't be the fastest car we've ever seen,
32:13but I can bet you Abby is having an absolute riot in there.
32:19Okay, hard braking for old lady's house.
32:22Wrestling it in, keeping it neat through the right and then the left.
32:26And now back on the power for the blast to substation.
32:30Engine note that screams, oh, you go, eh?
32:33That's it braking, flicks it in like a touring car driver.
32:37Only field of sheet left.
32:39Not much drama there and across the line.
32:42That looks great.
32:44That looks really exciting.
32:45I was really expecting this.
32:47Oh, yeah, yeah.
32:49It's just that four-year drifting,
32:50same as Lotus Cortina.
32:52That's what we're doing.
32:53Anyway, let's see now how quickly Abby got it round the Ebola-drome,
32:59shall we?
32:59Let's find out the time.
33:00Oh, quicker than I thought.
33:04What?
33:04Well, it's faster than a Lamborghini.
33:08I told you that thing was slow.
33:10It's actually slower than a Ford Sierra.
33:12But the interesting thing for me there
33:15is it's quicker than a Ford Fiesta ST 200
33:18and they both have the same power, don't they?
33:20About 200 horsepower.
33:21It is, yeah.
33:21I think what that goes to show is,
33:23despite all the improvements in suspension and tyres,
33:26you can't be fitting something with a sodding great turbo.
33:29It's a massive turbo.
33:31Anyway, can I get back to our documentary?
33:33Yes, you do.
33:34Because in 1993, Ford stopped making the Sierra
33:38and decided instead to export the idea that had revolutionised Britain
33:43to the whole world.
33:45What they came up with was something they called a world car.
33:49Something not just for everyone here, but for everyone everywhere.
33:53They called it the Mondeo.
33:55And it achieved something that no car in history has ever managed.
34:04Over the years, Richard James and I have driven almost every car ever made.
34:14We've waxed lyrical about many of them.
34:18Drooling over their styling.
34:22Or their handling.
34:25Or the way they make the roots of our penises fizz.
34:34But incredibly, there is only one car that we all like.
34:43This one.
34:45The Mondeo ST Estate.
34:57Let's be clear, there are lots of cars we all don't like.
35:00Yeah, yeah.
35:01Nissan Juke.
35:02Hate it.
35:03The Beetle.
35:04Good one on the Beetle.
35:05We all hate that.
35:06Nissan Quashquai.
35:07Yes, that's a good one.
35:08Audi Q5.
35:10No, don't like that.
35:11And the Q7.
35:13And the Q7.
35:13And the Q7.
35:14We all hate that.
35:14We all hate that.
35:15Jaguar X-Type.
35:16Yeah, we all hate that.
35:17The new Land Rover Discovery.
35:19Yes.
35:20BMW X3.
35:22Yeah.
35:22Yes.
35:23Mini Countryman.
35:24Oh, yeah, yeah.
35:25We all hate that.
35:28So, we've established there are many, many cars we all don't like.
35:31But cars we do like...
35:34There's this.
35:35There's this.
35:38What about the Subaru Legacy Outback?
35:40Well, yeah, but the front diff's rubbish.
35:42You can't go round a corner when you're going slowly.
35:44So, it's a bit annoying.
35:45So, it is just this?
35:47Yeah.
35:47This is it.
35:49Do you know what I liked?
35:50It's the fast version, but it was still comfortable.
35:53These seats were great.
35:54It still rides properly.
35:56It doesn't make a terrible racket.
35:57It's just civilised.
35:58I like the way it was a proper practical estate.
36:00It had a massive boot.
36:01And Ford had the sense to give it five doors.
36:04Yeah.
36:04Which is something Austin didn't think of with the Allegra.
36:06No, that is true.
36:07I like the speed.
36:08Oh, there's a surprise.
36:13V6 engine.
36:14200 horsepower.
36:17067 seconds.
36:18Top speed 150.
36:20It didn't look it, but this was as quick as a Cosworth.
36:27And when they turned it into the ST220 in 2002, it looked right as well.
36:34They should have sold these by the million.
36:38But there was a problem.
36:43This.
36:45The first so-called MPV, the Toyota Picnic.
36:52In 1996, when it was first introduced, we laughed at it because it seemed so stupid.
37:00I mean, why name a car after something you might do in it?
37:04Picnic.
37:05They didn't have a Toyota dentist, did they?
37:07No.
37:07The Honda popped to the shops.
37:08It's just an ordinary act.
37:09It's not even exciting.
37:11They're Volkswagen dogging.
37:12It's just a naff thing to do.
37:16It cost the same as a Mondea.
37:18It was just a bit taller.
37:20Yeah.
37:20Just in case your head suddenly grows tall.
37:22Was there a fashion for wearing Victorian industrialist hats at the time?
37:26No.
37:26No, there wasn't.
37:27Well, there's no excuse for it, then.
37:28Why would you?
37:29Unless you've actually got a Busby glued to the top of your head.
37:34There is no other reason.
37:36And what troubles me is think of the damage this did to children.
37:40Come out and see the new car, kids.
37:43Oh!
37:44It's...
37:45It's a big...
37:47That...
37:48That's our car.
37:50It's hateful.
37:51It's dismal.
37:53It's got big windows so people will see me in it.
37:56It actually says family fun vehicle on it.
38:00It doesn't.
38:00What's fun about it?
38:02It isn't more fun.
38:03We thought, when it first came along, that it would be a fad like culottes or deep fried brie or
38:10crocs or tattoos.
38:12Something where you think, well, that's fun, and then realise five minutes later that it's actually ridiculous.
38:19But no.
38:21This idiotic tall car idea actually started to catch on.
38:28Renault came up with their version, which was called the Scenic.
38:32And pretty soon, everyone was at it.
38:35Mazda.
38:36Fiat.
38:37Vauxhall.
38:38The lot.
38:40Think what you started, you bastard.
38:43You deserve this and you're having it.
38:46And you're having more of it.
38:49A new car is a great thing.
38:51But not when it's new.
38:53Oh, you've got a mirror left.
38:56Think how many lives you've ruined.
38:58You are the Allegro estate of modern times.
39:01And you deserve this.
39:04To make matters worse for Ford, in 2000, the British government decided that company cars should be taxed like income.
39:12Yeah, that meant people had to buy their own cars.
39:14And many responded, by not buying a car at all.
39:19As interest rates were so low, it made more sense to lease.
39:24And if you're going to do that, why not get a BMW?
39:28Or a Mercedes?
39:31As the rot started to take hold, Ford reverted to type and got serious about motor racing.
39:44In 2000, they came first, second and third in the British Touring Car Championship.
39:51All three Fords were on the front row again for the sprint race.
39:54And the following year, Mondeo sales did go up a bit.
39:59So Ford drivers clogging the podium.
40:01But then, they stopped motor racing.
40:05And the MPVs kept coming.
40:07And leasing a Mercedes got cheaper.
40:10And the effect on Ford was astonishing.
40:15In 1994, they sold 127,000 Mondeos in Britain.
40:20In 2017, that was down to 12,000.
40:26And 85% of those 12,000 were fleet sales, hire car companies and the police.
40:33And that means only 1,900 Mondeos were sold to private buyers.
40:38Yeah, people that actually went and bought one.
40:39Yeah, 1,900.
40:42And if you think about it, Ford has 500 dealers in Britain, yeah?
40:46Yeah.
40:46Each of those will have taken two Mondeos a year.
40:49Oh, God, yeah, as demonstrated.
40:51Yes, it will have.
40:51So, really, we are...
40:53900, you're talking about.
40:55900 people actually said,
40:56I'll buy one of those with my money.
40:58Yeah, 900 people.
41:00And they used to sell 127,000 of them a year.
41:05That's astonishing.
41:06I know.
41:11In America, things are so bad,
41:13the Mondeo will be pulled from the showrooms this year.
41:27And it's predicted that soon after that,
41:30it'll go from the rest of the world as well.
41:35And when that happens,
41:37Britain will have lost much more than just a car.
41:42The Mondeo was never fancy or spectacular.
41:45It never won Le Monde.
41:47It was never awarded a Nobel Prize.
41:50It didn't write The Grapes of Wrath.
41:52It was just your mate,
41:55someone you enjoyed going to the pub with.
42:02And here's the thing,
42:04when someone fancy or spectacular like, say, Mick Jagger dies,
42:09it'll be sad.
42:10But when your mate dies,
42:13that is heartbreaking.
42:21So, to give this car the send-off it deserves,
42:26we've booked Lincoln Cathedral.
42:36and invited some like-minded souls to mark the moment of its passing.
42:48This will be a funeral for a friend.
43:00A few people have turned up already.
43:02Look at that.
43:11Very, isn't it?
43:12Very.
43:14Tallest building in the world for 250 years.
43:18How many people do you think are going to turn up?
43:21Well, it is a Tuesday afternoon.
43:23We might get 50.
43:25It could be 100.
43:27100 would be nice, wouldn't it?
43:29Yeah.
43:30In fact, it was rather more than 100.
43:46So many people came that the traffic in Lincoln
43:49ground to a halt.
43:56And we had to begin the service before they'd all arrived.
44:03Fort.
44:05Fort.
44:06Ahem.
44:16Fort.
44:19Fort Braddock
44:27With the past in our rightful light,
44:34We've purified thy service fine,
44:40Beneath the reverence grace,
44:46Beneath the reverence grace.
44:54From thy stilts of wildness,
45:01Till o'er our striving seas,
45:08Diff from our souls' blood strain and stress,
45:14And let our northern lives confess
45:19The beauty of thy peace,
45:26The beauty of thy peace.
45:35The beauty of thy peace,
45:39The beauty of thy peace,
45:43The beauty of thy peace,
45:48The beauty of thy peace,
45:56The beauty of thy peace,
46:00The beauty of thy peace,
46:03The beauty of thy peace,
46:22The beauty of thy peace,
46:41The beauty of thy peace,
46:42The beauty of thy peace,
46:48Lost in the series.
46:50I mean, sorry,
46:52It's the show as you know it,
46:53It is actually ending,
46:54With, you know,
46:54The track,
46:55The audience,reach
46:56three, And
46:58but, Really
46:59badly-fitting jackets every week.
47:02This is the last one it is it is and it's it's sad, but we have been doing it together
47:09for 17 years
47:1116, okay, that's you were late
47:15But nevertheless we do feel the time has come to move on. Yeah, yeah
47:22The problem for us is we can't
47:24We can't make an announcement as momentous as that and then just walk out of the tent
47:29Can we because so we prefer we've actually put together a montage of some of the things we've done
47:35Not just at Amazon, but also with our previous employers at the BBC. Here it is
47:44This is gonna take forever
48:05It's carrots come out
48:09Power! Power! Come on!
48:12You have to let it open!
48:14Watch this
48:17Oh! Yeah!
48:20Let's go!
48:29Holy shit!
48:32We are in fact at the cutting edge of cocking a bear
48:39Am I dead?
48:42I can't believe I'm looking in
48:43Whoa!
48:44Oh!
48:49This could go so wrong
48:58Now I know what it's like to be Richard Hammond
49:00I'll throw you in the middle of it!
49:01It's a shame!
49:02It's a shame!
49:03Oh no!
49:03Oh no!
49:04Oh dear!
49:10Oh no!
49:12Oh no!
49:12Oh no!
49:13Oh no!
49:16Oh no!
49:17Oh no!
49:18Oh no!
49:21Oh no!
49:25Oh no!
49:27Oh no!
49:28I'm on my knees!
49:32Oh, shit!
49:34Sorry.
49:35What are you two wearing?
49:42You bastards!
50:09Oh, shit!
50:11Oh, shit!
50:14Oh, shit!
50:15USA! USA! USA!
50:21I'm scared!
50:28See you there!
50:41Pull it!
50:52We have traveled far!
50:58We have traveled far!
51:03Is that alright?
51:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
51:52Thank you, Nancy.
51:53Tell you what, though, we haven't half had some laughs.
51:56LAUGHTER
51:57I mean, it was brilliant, wasn't it?
51:59It's all just brilliant.
52:00I mean, I'm just going back in my head.
52:02There's the cow on the Camaro.
52:05Yeah.
52:05The indestructible Toyota.
52:07Yeah.
52:07Oliver.
52:08Yeah.
52:09Beach buggies across the dunes.
52:10Yeah.
52:11Driving down that ski, I was in there, driving down the ski slope.
52:14That was one of the best things I've ever done.
52:16Yeah.
52:16My horse mating with your horse whilst we were both still.
52:20Him falling off his horse.
52:22Him falling off his motorcycle.
52:23Endlessly.
52:24That was always funny.
52:25And the great thing was, in all of the years we've worked together,
52:28every single time, um, one of us fell over,
52:33there was never any sympathy.
52:35It just burst into laughter straight away.
52:38Ah-ha!
52:38That hurt himself!
52:40A whole 17 years of your mates not giving a shit.
52:44LAUGHTER
52:44So, anyone out there got, from memories?
52:48Yeah, well, James hitting his head in Syria, that was hilarious.
52:54LAUGHTER
52:54At least I can't remember.
52:56What?
52:57Caravan.
52:58Just caravan.
52:58Oh, yeah.
52:59Endlessly caravan.
53:01Disintegrating caravan.
53:02It just goes on.
53:04Sitting in a Spitfire, looking at your two mates,
53:06Oh, God, yeah.
53:06It's also the Spitfires, was just...
53:10Vietnam.
53:11Oh, yeah, God.
53:12I hated Vietnam.
53:14I liked it.
53:15I mean, I liked Vietnam,
53:16I just didn't like being on a motorcycle.
53:18Um...
53:19Italian supercars.
53:20Well, we've done Italian supercars.
53:22I mean, there isn't an Italian supercars.
53:23We did the cheap ones.
53:24Oh, the cheap ones.
53:24I know when I blew the Maserati's big end
53:27right through the windscreen of your Lamborghini.
53:29He literally threw an engine at me.
53:31Yeah, they literally throw an engine at his head.
53:34It's all been epic.
53:36Don't stop.
53:36What?
53:37Don't stop.
53:39Carry on.
53:45Well, um...
53:48Um...
53:49We do have some good news.
53:51We do have some good news.
53:53We're not.
53:54Oh.
53:56We're not stopping.
53:57We can't.
53:57We'd have to get jobs.
54:00No, we're not actually stopping.
54:01No, I mean, the truth is Amazon loves us.
54:04We love Amazon.
54:06So we'll...
54:07Carry on a bit.
54:08Yeah, well, stick around.
54:09The thing is, as I said,
54:11the show as you know it is ending
54:12and that's very upsetting for us.
54:14You know, the...
54:15The audience and the...
54:17You know, this sort of thing and the track.
54:19But who'd like to see us doing more big adventures?
54:22Yeah.
54:23Yeah.
54:24Road trips.
54:25Road trips.
54:26Special.
54:26She wants his specials, yeah?
54:28There is.
54:30There is.
54:31That's...
54:32There is.
54:34There's still so much of the world we haven't been to.
54:38So many people I haven't insulted.
54:40There are so many cars he hasn't crashed.
54:43Exactly.
54:43So, although this is gone, the grand tour goes on.
54:48It goes on.
54:50It goes on.
54:52We are going to need walking sticks and napkins.
54:55No, we are.
54:56We are.
54:57So, while it's not goodbye from us, it is goodbye from this.
55:04Anyone want to buy a tent?
55:06LAUGHTER
55:07See you.
55:08Take care.
55:08Thank you very much.
55:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
55:35MUSIC
55:37MUSIC
55:37MUSIC
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