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TVTranscript
00:31Honey, I'm home.
01:00Mama, what's this?
01:02That's a ball of yarn.
01:05My ball!
01:06No, it's yarn. I'm knitting a nice new sweater for your sister.
01:09My ball!
01:10No, I need it to...
01:11My ball!
01:12I'm trying to explain to you...
01:14My ball!
01:15Yes! I don't know what I was thinking. It is your ball.
01:20Don't want it.
01:23Fine.
01:25Gimme!
01:27Oh!
01:31My ball!
01:34My ball!
01:35My ball!
01:38Hi, girls. How was school?
01:40Oh, it was wonderful, Mom.
01:42Yeah, best day of our lives.
01:44Let's see till our thighs explode.
01:45Yes?
01:46Yes.
01:46What happened?
01:47Well, if you must know the grisly details...
01:50Mindy and I went to the cafeteria for lunch.
01:52Potato salad.
01:53And we were standing there with our trays because the place was packed.
01:56Do we have any tartar sauce?
01:58And the only seats anywhere were at Heather Worthington's table.
02:01So we had to sit on the floor.
02:03But you said there were seats at Heather's table.
02:05Chocolate sauce.
02:06Yes.
02:06Mom, lunch is not as simple as it was in your day.
02:09There's a social hierarchy at work here.
02:11Explain it to me slowly. I'm very old.
02:16Ugh.
02:16Heather hangs with a group of girls who are vain and self-centered.
02:19They all sit at the same table and wear the same clothes.
02:23And they think that no one is as good as they are.
02:25Yeah.
02:25And you want desperately to be one of them?
02:27I'd sell my own mother.
02:29That's sweet.
02:30But we are social outcasts and shall remain so, for that is our sad destiny.
02:35Cheese log?
02:36Yeah.
02:37Yes.
02:37Girls, I know you're disappointed, but I think you'll find stuffing yourselves won't make you feel any better.
02:42So you're saying we need TV, too?
02:44Adolescents.
02:45It's a lonely and confusing time.
02:48So many pressures, so many changes, so many questions.
02:52Who am I?
02:53Do I fit in?
02:55Why don't I feel better about myself?
02:57You don't need to feel better about yourself.
02:59You just need to feel superior to others.
03:01And there is only one thing that can do it.
03:04Status!
03:05Status, huh?
03:07Where can I get it?
03:08At Prestige Outerwear.
03:11Prestige Outerwear can fill the void in your life with a glamorous jacket your friends can never afford.
03:17So make sure you own the coat that says, I'm better than you.
03:24I'm better than you.
03:26Ah!
03:27Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:29Mom?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Not a chance, Charlene.
03:32Oh, oh, but if I had that coat, Heather Worthington would be banging down my door.
03:37Oh, please.
03:38Please, please, please.
03:39No, no, no, no.
03:41That coat is far too expensive for a girl your age.
03:44Well, that's exactly my point, Mom.
03:46Charlene, if we each pay half, maybe we could buy it together.
03:49Oh, good.
03:50You see, Mom, you only have to give me half.
03:51I think that's reasonable, and that's my final offer.
03:54Yeah.
03:55Oh, well, in that case, no.
03:58Oh, but...
03:59Okay, Mom, maybe you're right.
04:01Maybe I'd appreciate the coat more if I had to work for it.
04:05I love you, Daddy.
04:07Back at you, Charlene.
04:09Daddy, waddy, waddy, daddy.
04:10Can I get you anything?
04:12Slippers, a pipe, a wounded antelope screaming for its life?
04:16Huh?
04:16Well, aren't you something?
04:18Yeah.
04:19Hey, you see this here?
04:20This is what a father likes to see.
04:22See?
04:22A loving child, not too proud to humble herself at a father's feet.
04:26Huh.
04:26Hey, why don't you treat me like this?
04:29Because I don't need any money.
04:30Oh, well, isn't that just like you, my cynical child, to expect the worst from everybody?
04:35Tell him, Charlene.
04:36Tell him this isn't about money.
04:38I need $500.
04:43I never wanted either one of you.
04:45Daddy, waddy.
04:46No, it's true.
04:47You can ask your mother.
04:49I have only one true child to carry on my legacy.
04:51Not your mama.
04:55But, Daddy, you don't understand.
04:57There's this coat I have to have.
04:59My whole social life depends on it.
05:01Dinner time.
05:02Let me tell you something, little girl.
05:04You don't need fancy clothes.
05:07Ugh.
05:07Look at me.
05:08All I have is this one shirt, and I command respect wherever I go.
05:12Matt.
05:13Ow!
05:13Out of my way, you worthless sack of fat.
05:16What are you doing here?
05:18I came to have dinner with the family I love.
05:21Earl, stop fighting with mother.
05:23Fran, why do you always take her side?
05:25Because she's old and helpless.
05:27Yeah.
05:33Dad, uh, here, let me help you, Dad.
05:35Is that the phone ringing?
05:36No, Dad, it's not the phone.
05:37But I hear bells.
05:38I know, Dad.
05:38A dinosaur just got a screen.
05:40Aren't you coming to dinner, sweetheart?
05:42No, I'm not hungry.
05:44And I'm never eating again until I get that coat.
05:47Or I pass the buffet.
05:48What's this about a coat?
05:50Oh, it's only the most beautiful coat in the world.
05:54And it only costs $500.
05:56But Daddy won't let me have it because of meanness.
06:00$500?
06:01Yeah.
06:03Mom, if your father's really opposed to it.
06:07Hmm?
06:09Here you go.
06:10Oh, oh, Grandma.
06:13Do you mean it?
06:14I was saving it for your college.
06:16But a voice in my head kept saying,
06:19the only way she's going to college
06:21is inside a cake at a frat house party.
06:23Yeah.
06:24Oh, oh, gosh, Grandma.
06:26You really understand.
06:28Pretty much.
06:29Five big ones.
06:31Yes!
06:36Welcome back to Totally Hidden Predator.
06:38We hit our predator in this peaceful suburban park.
06:42Let's watch as the unsuspecting Ida Schmerzler
06:45comes home from the market now.
06:57What's for dinner, Ida?
06:58You are!
07:02Did you see the look on her face?
07:04Yes, I just love dinosaurs caught the act of being themselves.
07:09Yeah.
07:11Is everybody ready?
07:12Ready for what, dear?
07:14Ahem.
07:17Ta-da!
07:18So what do you think?
07:20Earl.
07:21What?
07:22Look what she's wearing.
07:23Yeah, I'm a cold.
07:25Hey, look!
07:26The predator's in the washing machine!
07:29Charlene, where on earth did you get $500 to buy that coat?
07:34Grandma gave it to me.
07:35That was going to be your college money.
07:38How could you throw away your entire education for a piece of clothing?
07:41I look great.
07:42That's all I need to know.
07:47If I might interject a word here...
07:50Hey, listen to that.
07:51It talks.
07:52I was thinking the same thing about you.
07:55Oh, thanks.
07:56My dear, your daughter won't be in any shape to go to college
08:00until she addresses this self-esteem problem of hers.
08:04Now, I don't want to place blame where it obviously belongs,
08:08but perhaps you should let me take it from here.
08:11Help me, please.
08:13Oh, that must be Mindy.
08:14Oh, she's going to be so jealous.
08:17That's the idea.
08:20After you.
08:21You go first.
08:22No, after you.
08:23Earl, did you hear that?
08:25Charlene's coat just said we're bad parents.
08:29Charlene, who?
08:30Oh.
08:31Oh.
08:32Oh, Charlene, it's the coolest.
08:34Oh, isn't it?
08:35Yeah.
08:36Oh, I have the money.
08:37Can I try it on?
08:38Yeah.
08:39Whoa, whoa, whoa, sweetheart.
08:40What?
08:40Just one quick question.
08:43Who dressed you, and why do they hate you so much?
08:46Oh, what?
08:48No, this is my best friend Mindy.
08:50Mindy, this is our coat.
08:52Mindy.
08:53You don't like my outfit?
08:55No.
08:55Well, dear, you are clearly making a fashion statement, and that statement is, welcome
09:02to the big top.
09:04Oh, dear.
09:05Oh, no.
09:07See, what Mindy and I thought is that we'd kind of share you.
09:12Oh.
09:13No, no, no, no.
09:13Oh.
09:14Here's what you have to understand, Charlene.
09:17The whole point of a status symbol, like myself, is that you have me, and others don't.
09:24But we had a deal.
09:26Oh, no one's talking to you, dear.
09:28Just stand there and wait for your clothes to come back in style.
09:31He didn't mean that.
09:32Now, Charlene.
09:33What?
09:34Here's what you say.
09:35Mindy, it's been wonderful having you for a little playmate.
09:39Oh, wow.
09:40Don't you think that's kind of insulting?
09:42Dear, do you really want to be popular?
09:45Mindy, it's been wonderful having you as a little playmate.
09:48But socially, I have to move on.
09:51Yeah, but, oh, Mindy, I'll call you in a couple of days.
09:57Charlene, I thought you were my friend.
10:00Oh, I'm gonna go out and buy a pair of shoes.
10:03With my own shoes, I could never wear them.
10:06Boy, did we really have to do that?
10:09Oh, you feel guilty, don't you?
10:12Yeah, kinda.
10:13It goes away.
10:15Does?
10:15Now, let's go upstairs and open your yearbook and pick out a whole new set of friends.
10:21Oh, okay.
10:22Sounds like fun.
10:41Welcome back.
10:43It's time for DTV News.
10:45In the record stores next month, the new disc from Lizard's Gizzard.
10:49We talked to their lead guitarist, Nigel Ouch.
10:52Your first album, Borrow This Record From A Friend And Tape It, didn't sell very well.
10:57Yeah.
10:58Well, we was all quite shocked, you know.
11:00Mm-hmm.
11:00But we're hoping a new record, Tape This Off The Radio For Free, will be a bit more commercial.
11:05Thank you, Nigel.
11:07And next month, Lizard's Gizzard hits the road for their Don't Bother To Come We'll Be On Cable Next Month
11:12tour.
11:13Ticket sales so far have been sluggish.
11:20Hello.
11:22No, Charlene's not here right now.
11:24Sure, I'll be glad to take a message for her.
11:26I've been doing it all day.
11:27Let me get a pen.
11:31Okay, go ahead.
11:32Yeah, I'm writing it down.
11:34Brittany, yeah, yeah.
11:36Four, four, six.
11:37Slow down, slow down.
11:38Eight, six, seven.
11:39Got it.
11:40Oh, yeah, I'll be sure she gets it.
11:41Bye.
11:43Was that another phone call for Charlene?
11:46Who else?
11:47You see, Earl, that's just what I was talking about.
11:50Ever since Charlene bought that new coat, she has all these new friends.
11:53I'm worried.
11:54Oh, friends worried.
11:55What a surprise.
11:56I mean it, Earl.
11:58This could be a real problem.
11:59Oh, you're right.
12:01It's just awful.
12:03Our daughter has a lot of friends, is very popular with everyone at school,
12:07and is happier than she's ever been.
12:09What a terrible thing.
12:11Where did we fail as parents?
12:16I'm being sarcastic.
12:18What a wonderful day.
12:19I have the best possible news.
12:21Well, brace yourself, friend.
12:23More happiness to worry about.
12:25Do you want to tell them, or should I?
12:27No, no, you go ahead.
12:29Okay.
12:30Heather Worthington said that it would be all right if I sat at her table tomorrow.
12:35See you.
12:36Charlene, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but have you considered that the only reason
12:41these girls like you is because of your coat?
12:43Well, duh, Mom.
12:46Lovely to see you again.
12:48Oh, and you?
12:49Any calls for me?
12:50Not a one.
12:51That's odd.
12:53Earl, our daughter is turning into a social climbing snob.
12:57They grow up oh so fast.
13:01Oh, this is so great.
13:04We've arrived.
13:06Lunch at Heather's table.
13:09It's more than I could ever have dreamed.
13:11It's a disaster.
13:13Why?
13:14We're totally unprepared.
13:16What are you talking about?
13:17I have you.
13:18Yes, but everyone knows you have me.
13:21And the novelty of me has gotten old, and I will not be old.
13:25Oh.
13:27I must be kept fresh.
13:29I must be kept new.
13:30I must be accessorized.
13:32What are you saying?
13:33Give me a belt.
13:34A boots.
13:35A hat.
13:35I'm dying here.
13:37Come on, I have lots of stuff.
13:38Uh, no, no.
13:40Where is it?
13:41Yes, ha!
13:42Ooh, this sweater's nice, isn't it?
13:44Hmm, well, what's it made of?
13:47100% all-natural polyvinyl chloride.
13:51Oh, honey, we've got to do some shopping.
13:54Great.
13:55Now, where does Heather buy her clothes?
13:58Oh, at that expensive place in the mall.
14:00Hmm, let's go.
14:01But I don't have any more money.
14:04Your father has a credit card, doesn't he?
14:07Yeah, but he never let me borrow it.
14:09Charlene, he's your father.
14:12He loves you.
14:13So?
14:13He wants you to be happy.
14:16Yeah.
14:17Hmm.
14:17Steal it.
14:20Oh!
14:29Tonight we wondered what would happen if we put our totally hidden predator in a personnel office.
14:37Is this the right door?
14:39Should I just go in?
14:40Ahem.
14:41Ahem.
14:42Hello?
14:43Ahem.
14:44Ahem.
14:45Ahem.
14:46Hello, I'm here for the job interview.
14:48Ahem.
14:49Hm?
14:50Hey!
14:51Hey!
14:52The predator!
14:53Am I on TV?
14:54Oh!
14:55Neat!
14:58Ahem!
15:02Yes!
15:06Guthrie!
15:08Ahem.
15:14Ahem.
15:20Oh!
15:30Oh, my God.
15:53What you doing?
15:56You want me to be quiet?
16:00Just help me out this once, okay?
16:04Um...
16:05No!
16:08We'll give you a dollar, huh?
16:11Ooh! A dollar?
16:13Yeah, yeah, yeah! Gimme, gimme, gimme!
16:15Do it.
16:15Gimme, gimme! Come on, come on!
16:17I don't have all day!
16:19Come on, come on, come on!
16:20I'm the baby, gotta pay me!
16:23Sarlene, come on!
16:24I'm gonna change my mind!
16:26Hello!
16:27Yoo-hoo! Come on!
16:31Yeah, yeah, yeah! Come on!
16:32Come on!
16:37Here's your change!
16:43Ugh!
16:44How common!
16:46Ugh!
16:47Whoa!
16:47Whoa!
16:50Wow!
16:51These are all so beautiful!
16:53Now this is more like it!
16:56Shh!
16:57Do you see the prices?
16:58Oh, please!
17:01I'm not with her, really!
17:04Would you like to wait in the car?
17:07Look, I'm not opposed to spending my dad's money,
17:09but this sweater costs more than he makes in a month!
17:12Oh, he can take a second job!
17:15Right!
17:15Why should he lie around the house every night
17:17when he could be off in some factory
17:19performing some simple, repetitive task?
17:22Ugh!
17:22Maybe this was a bad idea!
17:24Ugh!
17:25Well, my goodness!
17:27Look who's here!
17:29Oh! Uh, Heather!
17:30Hi!
17:32I didn't know you shopped here!
17:33Oh, sure!
17:35All the time!
17:36Really?
17:36I would never have guessed from the way you, uh, dress!
17:41Well, present company accepted!
17:44Well, I know exactly what you mean!
17:49So, uh, what have you bought?
17:51Well, so far, we've been a little indecisive!
17:55Well, who can decide?
17:57I mean, I like this one, and this one!
18:00Well, here's a thought!
18:02Maybe you should try one of them on?
18:04Yeah!
18:05I knew that!
18:06Yes!
18:07You know, you might be better off with the vertical stripes!
18:10At least until you get your weight down!
18:12Allow me!
18:15You are trying to lose weight!
18:17Aren't you?
18:18No!
18:19Oh, yeah!
18:20I mean, who isn't?
18:22Oh, you should see her all day long!
18:25Snack, snack, snack, snack, snack!
18:29Wow!
18:30What an awesome lining!
18:31Oh!
18:32Would you like to try me on?
18:34I'd love to!
18:38Oh, this is nice!
18:40But I already have one pretty much like it!
18:47Plus, it kinda seems stupid to spend so much money on a sweater!
18:51Well, then maybe you should go where you usually shop!
18:54Some store where you can rummage through bins?
18:57Hey!
18:58I thought we were gonna be friends!
19:00I thought you had taste!
19:02I guess we were both wrong!
19:04Well, I'll just take my coat if you don't mind!
19:07What are you doing?
19:08We're going home!
19:10You don't own me!
19:11Oh, yes I do!
19:13Oh!
19:14Oh!
19:14Oh!
19:14Oh!
19:15Oh!
19:15It looks like your coat has already made its choice!
19:19Mm-hmm!
19:19Mm-hmm!
19:20You were supposed to make me popular!
19:22You were popular for a couple of days and now you're not!
19:27I gave up my best friend for you they all do
19:37All right, let's go over this again. Tell me what happened tell me exactly what happened
19:43Give me answers. Oh, took my credit card
19:53I'll give you a cookie
19:56She's the one Charlie took it. She's the one you want Charlene. I saw I take it. I saw I
20:00do it Charlene
20:01She took it. I watched it. She took it right out of your room. Oh
20:05What's going on in here?
20:08Charlene took my credit card
20:11She she snuck in here when I was sleeping and stole it. We've raised a common criminal friend
20:16I gotta call the credit card company. She could be out there buying
20:20Stereos and boats Earl you have a $50 limit
20:25Yeah, well, it's a good thing. I'm such a credit risk
20:29My own daughter do this to me. She's got an expensive new coat and a group of rich friends
20:35And now she feels she has to keep up with them. Yeah, well if she wants to keep up with
20:38her rich friends
20:39Why didn't she steal their father's credit cards?
20:43Hmm oh
20:45What that would be wrong? What's wrong is that we don't want our daughter to grow up believing that status
20:51is the key to a better life?
20:53So how many credit cards you think she could steal in a week?
20:56Earl Sinclair, what are you thinking of?
20:59Stereos friend and boats
21:01Oh
21:04Hi
21:08D-Daddy
21:10Charlene, do you have something you want to tell your father?
21:13I took your credit card
21:15I know that
21:17Where's my boat?
21:19What?
21:20Earl
21:20Yes, my first mate
21:21Ship off
21:22Aye, aye, friend
21:24Oh, but before I go there's something I want to tell you, young lady
21:28Status is not the key to a better life
21:31I believe that now, Daddy
21:33Yeah, well so does your mother
21:37I'm so depressed
21:41Oh, I knew it
21:43It's too young
21:46Oh, Mom, I was so stupid
21:50I just wanted to fit in with Heather and the other popular girls
21:53And I thought if I had a nice coat that they would like me better
21:56But they didn't like me
21:57They liked my coat
22:00The important thing is you know what you did was wrong
22:02Yes, yes I do
22:04I really do
22:05So you don't have to ground me because I know what I did was wrong
22:08So what would be the point?
22:10You're grounded
22:10Well, you got to do what you got to do
22:12Yes
22:13And if I've gotten back to Charlene, I know
22:16She knows what she's got to do
22:18Yeah
22:21Yeah
22:31Hello, Mindy?
22:33Yeah, it's me
22:36I'm so sorry
22:36I'm so sorry
22:38I'm so sorry
22:38I'm so sorry
22:39I'm so sorry
22:39I'm so sorry
22:39I'm so sorry
22:40I'm so sorry
22:41I'm so sorry
22:41I'm so sorry
22:41I'm so sorry
22:42I'm so sorry
22:42I'm so sorry
22:43I'm so sorry
22:43I'm so sorry
22:43I'm so sorry
22:56I'm so sorry
22:57I'm sorry
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