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00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:31Honey, I'm home!
01:01Come on, you did them last year.
01:02Okay, you put up the fridges, I'll put up the sign.
01:05Good deal.
01:05Here's the season.
01:06La, la, la.
01:07Here?
01:07Yeah.
01:08Good job, kids.
01:09Thanks, Dad.
01:11Oh, Franny, that wouldn't happen to be your famous refrigerator mold pie, would it?
01:16Earl, it took me a year to collect enough mold from the meat drawer.
01:20I think you can wait two more days.
01:22Oh, it's got a nice fuzz on it this year.
01:24A good refrigerator day omen.
01:26What's refrigerator day?
01:28I already told you.
01:30Oh, was I listening?
01:31Refrigerator day is when dinosaurs celebrate the one invention that made modern civilization possible.
01:39Diapers?
01:40No.
01:41Although that was an important one, too.
01:44Especially in summer.
01:46Before refrigerators, dinosaurs couldn't store food.
01:49So they always had to be on the move, looking for things to eat.
01:52And their feet were sore.
01:54Their ankles were swollen.
01:55And there was constant chafing.
01:58It practically killed romance.
02:00Then one day, a great and wise dinosaur came up with the idea that if you put food in a
02:06cold box,
02:07it would stay fresh and we could settle down in one place.
02:10Yeah, and it also made it possible to have a midnight snack without running around the woods in your jammies.
02:15And so now we honor the refrigerator by giving it its own special day.
02:19Now, do you understand?
02:21No.
02:22The key thing is, we get lots of presents.
02:26Ooh, presents!
02:27Did you go crazy again this year, Dad?
02:29You bet, I certainly did.
02:31Spend all our money on presents.
02:32Which isn't hard, considering what I bring home.
02:35Earl.
02:36Oh, don't you worry, my green goddess.
02:38I'll be getting my Fridge Day bonus!
02:42Yeah.
02:44I'm so happy for you.
02:45Please don't eat me.
02:46The holiday's not supposed to be about spending money.
02:49It's supposed to be about giving thanks for everything we have.
02:52Yeah.
02:53Um, what is it we got?
02:55We've got our family.
02:57Oh, yeah.
02:58Dad.
03:00And we're supposed to fast for two days before the holiday feast.
03:03Franny!
03:03To remind us of the hardships our ancestors faced before cold storage.
03:07I've got enough hardships in my life without suffering the ones that belong to my dead relatives.
03:12Now give me my breakfast back.
03:14No.
03:15Fran!
03:16Hey, a couple of days without food wouldn't exactly kill you, Slim.
03:20Right.
03:29No lunch today, Pally Boy?
03:31Huh?
03:32No, my wife thinks I should be more spiritually aware.
03:34And my breakfast took her side.
03:36Tough break.
03:37So, how come you aren't fasting?
03:40Oh, I only fast between meals.
03:42Ah, reformed.
03:44Yeah.
03:44So, uh, mind if I have some or all of what you're eating?
03:48Ah!
03:49Oh, uh, sorry, Pally Boy.
03:51Uh, throwing across Fran.
03:53Experts agree.
03:54Getting on the wrong side of your best friend's wife can be quite injurious to the relationship.
03:59Yeah.
04:00Yeah.
04:01Plus, it's a good way to get the arteries ripped out of your head.
04:03Sinclair, get in here now!
04:04I'm for the health!
04:06Hey, hey, not to worry, Roy.
04:08Huh?
04:08This time of year, when the boss beckons, it's not something to be feared.
04:12Oh?
04:12Well, this time of year, it's round about bonus time.
04:20Hi.
04:21Ah, come in, Earl.
04:22Always a pleasure to see you.
04:24Earl.
04:25Not Sinclair.
04:27Earl.
04:27Come in, Earl.
04:29Ah, come in, Earl.
04:30No.
04:31No.
04:31Gee, I never noticed the fireplace before.
04:34I just put it in so my employees could have a place to keep warm and feel loved.
04:40Hot toddy?
04:42Oh, thank you.
04:43Mm-hmm.
04:45Ha-ha.
04:46Ooh.
04:48Toddy.
04:49Hey, I love that word.
04:52Toddy.
04:53Toddy.
04:53Toddy, toddy, toddy, toddy, toddy, toddy, toddy, toddy.
04:55Say it with me.
04:57Toddy, toddy, toddy, toddy, toddy, toddy, toddy.
05:00I never realized you could be so much fun.
05:04Now, let's get to the matter at hand, son.
05:06I got three envelopes here with refrigerated day bonuses.
05:12Guess which one's yours.
05:14They all are.
05:16I want you to have them because, well, because I love you.
05:25Dolan, are you, sir?
05:26Now, come over here and give us a big fridge day hug.
05:30Ha-ha-ha.
05:33Think high!
05:34Oh, I just had the most wonderful dream.
05:39Get in here!
05:40Oh, coming.
05:43Hi.
05:45Hello, my captain.
05:47Gee, it's unusually cold in here.
05:49Perhaps another piece of coal on the fire?
05:51Fire?
05:52Do you see a fire in here, you big lumbering bag of pus?
05:55Duh.
05:57Duh.
05:58Happy refrigerator day.
06:00These are for you.
06:02Oh, pencils.
06:04Well, thank you, sir.
06:05What a generous prelude to whatever comes next.
06:08I'm not giving them to you, pit head.
06:10I want you to sharpen them and do it somewhere where I don't have to look at you.
06:14Uh, sir?
06:15Sir, uh, speaking of bonus checks, which we weren't, but I'd like to if I could find a smooth way
06:20of bringing it up, which I can't.
06:22Um, I was just wondering when we might be expecting to get them.
06:25Uh, you?
06:25Uh, uh, uh, huh, huh, huh.
06:28Something amuses you, my captain?
06:30Something horrible, no doubt?
06:32Ah, bonus!
06:33Bonus?
06:33Gee, I love that word.
06:35Say it with me, sir.
06:37Bonus.
06:38Ugh.
06:39Bonus.
06:39Bonus, bonus, bonus, bonus, bonus.
06:41No bonus this year!
06:43Yes, there is.
06:44No, there isn't.
06:44Oh, yes, there is.
06:45No, there isn't!
06:47Oh, yes, there is.
06:47There has to be.
06:48I need that money.
06:49I'm counting on it.
06:50exactly and that's why you're not getting it what when you're expecting it's not a bonus it's just
06:57pay so since you're expecting it i ain't going to give it to you i'm not expecting it now good
07:05then you won't be disappointed now get out of here
07:10hey and don't tell any of those other deadbeats there's no bonus i want to tell them it's my
07:15own little holiday treat this refrigerator day what better way to celebrate the special occasion
07:30than by giving the gift that'll keep shining long after the day is over the gift of paint
07:44using refrigerator data cell paint sort of cheapens the holiday don't you think
07:48oh who's to say that's one of those big confusing moral issues we believe that when a dinosaur
07:54knows what's best for his family other dinosaurs shouldn't interfere and we believe that when a
08:00company knows what's best for its community that community shouldn't interfere with wasteful and
08:04demeaning regulations something to think about as we celebrate freedom on this refrigerator day
08:10from your friends at the we say so corporation we say so we'll do what's right if you leave us
08:17alone
08:19ready yep hi kids hey dad where's your mother all right she's in the kitchen
08:26friend come out here be right there i have a piece of bad news i want you all to share
08:32what is it earl i drew the refrigerator that's great i drew on the refrigerator that's not as great
08:40and the wall and the floor and would you let me get in my bad news
08:46cut it out okay family we have a little problem that could affect all our lives in a negative way
08:53yeah i'm not getting a fridge day bonus and we're broke
08:57you already bought her presents right so where's the problem the problem is we have bills to pay
09:04now what are we going to do well he bought the presents i still don't see a problem hey hey
09:09we'll
09:10pull through the bills can wait this is a special time of year everyone's got the spirit of generosity
09:16and just a little more understanding about getting paid late
09:24repossessed
09:26hey pal you're a half a day later in your payments on time we could overlook but half a day
09:32it's out of here but but but not the fridge please don't take the fridge refrigerator day is coming
09:38and we have children tell them kids yeah come on it's fridge day don't take the fridge please
09:44could you get this one off my leg got your shoe wet
09:50i know we missed a payment but my husband didn't get his fridge day bonus
09:55yeah couldn't you take another appliance instead sorry the boss likes to take the one that puts you
10:01under the most pressure this time of year of course it's the fridge
10:04oh what a brilliant and evil dinosaur he must be yeah but he gave us a huge fridge day bonus
10:10punch your feet
10:11bye fridge
10:16this is terrible i failed my family i'm nothing i'm dirt you're not dirt dad no you're right
10:24i'm beneath dirt i look up to dirt i wish i was dirt dirt laughs at me
10:29earl it'll be okay no it won't friend
10:32this is gonna be the worst refrigerator day ever
10:55Don't! Don't! Don't!
11:04Does Dad seem a little depressed to you?
11:07He's working it out, dear. He'll be fine.
11:09We wish you a happy Fridge Day, so come in and buy paint.
11:16Oh, Fridgey, I wonder what you're doing right now.
11:23We have to do something. We could get the fridge back.
11:26Oh, right, Rob. Let's just go down to the store and swipe it.
11:29I'll take my extra large purse.
11:31Wait a minute. What if we tried to return the presents your father got for us
11:36and use the money to buy back our old refrigerator?
11:39Whoa! Whoa! Refrigerator day without presents is like two things that go together.
11:45Only one of them isn't there, so the other one doesn't have the other thing to go with it.
11:51Who says you're not deep?
11:53I don't want to give up the presents.
11:55Besides, who ever heard of a store giving dinosaurs back their money?
11:59I know it's a strange concept, but we have to try.
12:03This holiday is too important to your father, and he's beginning to lose faith.
12:07On the second day of Fridge Day, my true love gave to me the two ice trays and a plastic
12:16insert to hold the eggs in.
12:21Oh, who am I kidding? The fridge is gone, and we're starving!
12:27Earl, we're not starving. We're fasting.
12:31No, fasting is when there is food right in front of you, but you don't eat it.
12:36There's no food. This is starving!
12:42I'll get the presents.
12:44Yeah.
12:44Attention, Caleb. Are you looking for that last-minute surprise Fridge Day gift?
12:50Oh, thank you.
12:50It can be found on level three in our last-minute surprise section.
12:55Oh, boy.
12:55Thank you very much, and happy shopping.
12:59Uh...
12:59Excuse me.
13:01This is a little unusual, but we want to return these items my husband purchased.
13:06Return them? Gee, no one's ever done that before.
13:09I'm sure the store will appreciate it.
13:11Thanks. Have a nice day. Uh...
13:13Just put them anywhere.
13:14No, no, no, no, no.
13:15We want to give you these things, and have you give us our money back.
13:20That makes no sense whatsoever.
13:22It's a concept.
13:24But we have tons of this junk. Why would we want to buy more from you?
13:29I tried to tell them.
13:30Hmm.
13:31Hey, uh, Hank, see if you can follow this.
13:34We sold this stuff to these guys, and now they want to sell it back to us.
13:38At a profit?
13:39I don't think so.
13:40Were you planning on making a profit in this little scheme of yours?
13:43Of course not!
13:45Well, if you're selling something, you should make a profit. That's just common sense.
13:48We're not selling anything.
13:50Oh, so now you've changed your tune?
13:51This whole thing was just a clever ruse to embarrass me in front of Hank, wasn't it?
13:56No!
13:58Um...
13:58Okay, yes. We are selling this stuff. There.
14:03Now, would you like to buy it for exactly the same amount we paid for it?
14:08Got it.
14:09Ma'am, we are a store. You are a customer.
14:13Mm-hmm.
14:13If we bought things from you, then we'd be the customer, and you'd be the store.
14:17Do you want to be a store?
14:19It's a lot of responsibility.
14:21I want to be a store?
14:22Well, he asked.
14:24We don't want to be a store.
14:26Look, the only way this makes sense to me is if you'd be willing to sell us that stuff for
14:31less than what we paid for it in the first place.
14:34Yeah.
14:35All right, fine. Whatever.
14:36Mom, that's crazy.
14:37Yeah.
14:38Robbie, we need the money.
14:40But less than wholesale? That's like nothing. What kind of fridge could we buy for that?
14:47Nice cooler. Styrofoam. It was all we could afford.
14:52If nothing else, we learned a valuable lesson about markup.
14:55Happy Fridge Day, everybody.
14:57Yeah, Dad.
14:57I went to get your presents to salvage what's left of the holiday, but it seems like they've been stolen,
15:02so I'm going to the garage to hang myself.
15:06Earl, we took those presents. We returned them to get money to buy back our refrigerator.
15:11You did?
15:12Mm-hmm.
15:12You did that for me?
15:13Mm-hmm.
15:14Oh, Franny, I'm so happy. Where is it?
15:17It's right over here. It's all we could afford.
15:22Oh! What an emotional rollercoaster!
15:25Move! I'm trying to draw the new refrigerator!
15:28Oh, I'm so sorry I ruined your first refrigerator day. Go ahead, Junior. Bang my head real hard with this
15:36pot.
15:38That's getting old.
15:39Oh, look at how low I've sunk. My own child refuses to hit me.
15:45Earl, huh?
15:47Oh!
15:49I'll always be there for you, fat boy.
15:52Now, listen, all of you. Our ancestors didn't have refrigerators. That's what this whole day is about. We remember what
15:59they didn't have, so we can appreciate what we do have.
16:03A lovely family, a beautiful home, all our hopes for the future. If you think about it my way, we're
16:11blessed.
16:12If you think about it my way, you'd go to the garage and hang yourself.
16:15Oh, Dad. Now, I want us to do the pageant.
16:19At the risk of sounding immature, I don't want to!
16:23Earl, we do the Fridge Day pageant every year, and if you don't want to, then we'll just do it
16:28without you. Excuse me.
16:30Bye.
16:32A long, long time ago, life was miserable. Nothing was important except finding food.
16:42I am famished, but lo, there is not a morsel left to eat.
16:47The beast of hunger stirs within me, too. Be still, beast, I cry, but alas, it will not.
16:53There is no more food in this place. It is time to move on, my children.
16:58Yes.
16:59To explore new lands, to seek out new meats and vegetables.
17:05And so their relentless search for food continued on. Now.
17:20Earl, it's your line.
17:22I don't want to.
17:24This is a family tradition, and without you, we're not a family.
17:28Oh, all right.
17:35There.
17:39If only there was a way to store food, this constant searching would be over.
17:43Ugh.
17:46Then one day, the father of the family, who was a great and wise dinosaur, heard a voice.
17:55Earl.
17:56Huh?
17:57No.
17:58Hark, I hear a voice, yet with my eyes I see not its source.
18:03A voice?
18:04Without a face?
18:05Surely it cannot be.
18:07But the voice would not stop.
18:09It said, build a box that is cold inside.
18:14Build a box that is cold inside.
18:17Build a box that is cold inside.
18:20The voice will not leave me.
18:22We have to stop.
18:24I must build a box.
18:27Why?
18:28Must my father ship something?
18:30And so they stopped migrating, and work on the box began.
18:36The Great One's family breaded greatly, but they stood by him until one day.
18:45It is done.
18:49It is a fine box, father.
18:51A good and mighty box.
18:53A hardy and just box.
18:55But nay, it is not cold inside.
18:58Oh.
18:59We could throw it in the lake.
19:01Yeah.
19:02That would make it cold.
19:03Oh, you are wise beyond your years, my son.
19:06Quickly, into the lake.
19:07And the greatest invention of our time was about to be tossed into a lake.
19:13But luckily.
19:15Father, behold.
19:17What is this pronged thing?
19:19Heart, it is a plug.
19:21And what does one do with it?
19:22Blow, plug it in.
19:24Ah.
19:25And so it was.
19:27And the refrigerator became cold.
19:29And migrating was finished forever.
19:32Dinosaurs could now store food and stay in one place.
19:36And they were happy.
19:39And so they sang.
19:41All the money dinosaurs.
19:45Store stuff in this box.
19:48Food will keep cold and last a long, long time.
19:53Home and then spoil it.
19:56Build a home cause now you can.
19:59Your wandering days are over.
20:02Your wandering days are over.
20:05Your wandering days are over.
20:05Just plug this box into the wall.
20:09And you can eat whatever you feel like it.
20:13God bless us, everyone.
20:17Oh.
20:20Happy fridge day, Earl.
20:23Mmm.
20:26I'll get it.
20:27No, no, I'll get it.
20:28I'll get it.
20:28Friend, I love this pageant.
20:30Who needs presents?
20:32Who needs anything?
20:33I may not have a refrigerator, but I'm the luckiest guy in town.
20:38It's like a miracle.
20:41Whoa.
20:42Don't my eyes deceive me?
20:44Not unless you see something other than the trim figure of a guy pushing your refrigerator.
20:48Well, that is what I see.
20:50Then we're in sync.
20:51We're giving it back to you.
20:54But why?
20:56Not that I mind at all.
20:57I told my boss your wife's idea about returning stuff and he liked it.
21:01He thinks a return policy could give us the edge we need to crush our competition,
21:06become a monopoly, and serve you better.
21:08This is our way of saying thanks for the idea.
21:11Happy fridge day.
21:15Enjoy.
21:16Enjoy.
21:17Oh, and here.
21:17I hope you don't think we're out of line, but my boss called in a few favors
21:21and we got you your fridge day bonus.
21:24Bonus?
21:25Bonus, bonus, bonus, bonus, bonus, bonus.
21:28And we also have ice cream for the kids.
21:30Yeah.
21:30Great.
21:31And to add to the holiday cheer, we took the liberty of installing a few snow machines
21:36on your roof.
21:37What?
21:38It's snowing.
21:40It's snowing.
21:40This is the way I always dreamed fridge day would be.
21:43Now, if we could just get a signature on this release form signing away all rights,
21:47interest and claims and the return policy concept.
21:50Hey, you got it.
21:52So, had yourself a little pageant, huh?
21:54A little pageant?
21:56We just had ourselves the most wonderful pageant imaginable.
22:00It had significance.
22:01It had sincere family value.
22:03It had a spirituality that made me realize what this holiday is all about.
22:07The one we do at the department store has an orchestra and lasers.
22:11Ooh.
22:12Earl.
22:12Plus, everyone who attends is entitled to 35% off all ladies sportswear.
22:17Ooh.
22:17Oh.
22:18Wow.
22:19You retailers are really giving a new meaning to the holidays.
22:23We're trying, Mr. Sinclair.
22:28Okay.
22:29Ready?
22:30Ready?
22:30Do it, Rob.
22:31Here it goes.
22:33Whoa.
22:34Ooh.
22:35Yeah.
22:36I love this time of year.
22:40Ooh.
22:41Happy refrigerator day.
22:43Ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:45La, la, la, la.
22:46Happy refrigerator day.
22:53Yeah.
23:10Cheers.
23:12Cheers.
23:12Cheers.
23:12нал-
23:20Cheers.
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