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00:01This is a story about a lovely couple, Rob and Elaine, who rented a house one especially hot and sticky
00:07summer in the Hamptons.
00:08Elaine invited her best single friends, Cindy and Janet, while Rob invited his single friends, Ira and Matthew, to share
00:15the good times and exorbitant rent.
00:17Until one day, this lovely couple had a terrible fight when Elaine went out for a run and twisted her
00:22ankle and came back early to find Rob canoodling with Janet.
00:27And Cindy got tired of Matthew's idiotic jokes and incessant market chatter.
00:31And Ira tried to be there for Elaine and confessed his true feelings for her, which she tried to laugh
00:35off as a joke.
00:36By August, it got to the point where everything was so awkward that nobody wanted to come back.
00:41And that's when Janet called her friend Charlotte.
00:44It's a really cute three-bedroom cottage and they're giving us a fantastic deal for the month of August.
00:49Yeah, of course it's a good deal. It's haunted with cheating boyfriends and sexual rejection.
00:53We can always burn sage.
00:54Hey, sharing a house with your girlfriends is fine in your 20s, but I feel like in your 30s, isn't
00:59it a tiny bit pathetic like being the oldest kid at summer camp?
01:02She has a point. My 25-year-old assistant, Nina Grabowski, has a summer share in Bridgehampton with 18 other
01:08girls.
01:09They have to sleep in shifts.
01:10What do they do when they meet someone?
01:12Oh, they fuck in shifts too.
01:13Hold it, hold it. I can't believe you guys would pass up a chance to get out of this sweltering
01:17heat.
01:18And besides, the city's completely dead during August.
01:21That's because everyone's in the Hamptons.
01:23We're stuck in traffic trying to get there.
01:25But this could be the last summer that we can actually all get together and do something like this.
01:29I mean, next year, who knows? One of us could be married or have kids.
01:33And then we'll always regret that last summer that we didn't spend together in the Hamptons.
01:38Charlotte's sweet hopefulness touched something in all of us.
01:43Okay, I'm in.
01:44Me too.
01:45Fine.
01:47But I get the late shift.
01:49Oh my God!
01:50Samantha always felt like she was in her 20s until the sight of an actual 20-something brought her back
01:54down to Earth.
01:55Oh, you have to try it. No, I'm getting on the VIP list.
01:57You have to try it for one night.
01:58My best friend Jerry owns it. He also owns the one in South Beach.
02:01Yes! The same one!
02:03I need you to prove...
02:03You can confirm the guest list for the Hedrick Martin benefit and get me Richard Johnson ASAP.
02:07No, he's not a fag. No, because I happen to have three friends. He's personally fucked.
02:12You are nasty.
02:14You are. Listen, I am sending you a card to and fro, and if you hate it, I'm gonna let
02:17you blow me.
02:18I am!
02:19I am serious. Off now!
02:23Alec, I've gotta go. I'll keep you posted, okay? Bye, honey.
02:29I have personal relationships of my own, you know?
02:32Not with my clients, you don't.
02:33And I have my own career to worry about.
02:35Your career is being my assistant.
02:38You're so deluded.
02:40I mean, you wouldn't even know what's hot if it wasn't for me.
02:42Nina, unfortunately, you don't seem to grasp the vast difference between us.
02:46Oh, yes, I do.
02:47You stood in line at Studio 54.
02:49I stood in line at Studio 54?
02:52The movie!
02:56I gave that bitch her first job out of college.
02:58She didn't know a fucking thing.
02:59These girls in their 20s, they're so spoiled and ungrateful they think they're it.
03:03Hey, don't they realize we're still it?
03:05No, because the world validates their delusion.
03:07And she took a copy of my Rolodex. Do you think I can sue?
03:10Excuse me, do you remember us in our 20s?
03:12Dimly.
03:13Have a little compassion, ladies.
03:14The only thing worse than being single and in your 30s in this city is being single and in your
03:1720s.
03:18Hey! Where have you been? I was worried you were gonna miss the Jitney.
03:21The Hamptons Jitney is just like the bus to summer camp.
03:24Only instead of singing songs, everyone ignores each other and talks on their cell phones.
03:28Everyone, this is Greg. This is Samantha, Carrie, and Miranda.
03:31Hi.
03:32Greg has been going to the Hamptons every summer for 20 years.
03:35Since I was six.
03:36You did the math.
03:37Oh, I have.
03:43Easy, sister. No need to push, huh?
03:46Four bumper-to-bumper hours later, we arrived at our new digs.
03:54They said this place was shabby chic. I'm thinking it's much more shitty chic.
03:58These towels are mildewed.
03:59Actually, this whole house smells like mildew.
04:02It's not mildew. It's beachy.
04:04Would you all stop being so cynical? We're lucky to be here.
04:08Cynicism. Now, there's one advantage we have over girls in their 20s.
04:11I was cynical in high school.
04:13Who's that?
04:15It's Greg, that cute guy I met on the Chitney.
04:17I told him to drop by, and if he asks, he thinks I'm 27.
04:22Evidently, while we had taken the Midtown Tunnel, Charlotte had taken the Time Tunnel.
04:26Hi.
04:27Hey.
04:28Come on in.
04:28You guys remember Greg?
04:30Hi, Greg.
04:31Hey.
04:32So, listen.
04:33Me and my housemates are having a big bonfire tonight out at the beach,
04:36and I just wanted to tell you that you're all invited.
04:39Excellent.
04:56Here you go, ladies.
04:58This has so much foam you could ski on the head.
05:01Sorry, it's been a while since I've pumped a keg.
05:03I love young men, but come on, I mean, the guys here, they don't even have chest hair yet.
05:09Well, that's good news for their backs.
05:12Sorry.
05:14Okay, this is really fun.
05:15How long do we have to stay?
05:19Oh, come on.
05:21All right, I'm gonna go tell Charlotte we're leaving.
05:24That's another thing about 20-something girls.
05:26They're very considerate.
05:27You can always count on one of them to hold your hair back when you vomit.
05:31Excuse me.
05:33Oh, my God.
05:34Carrie Bradshaw?
05:35Yeah?
05:36Laurel Harris, may I just tell you that I worship you.
05:39I read your column every weekend.
05:41It's like my religion.
05:42Oh, thank you.
05:43I work as an assistant in a publishing house, but I'm really a writer.
05:46Oh, great.
05:47Well, we'll see.
05:48Maybe I could send you something to read sometime.
05:51Sure.
05:52You have no idea what that would mean to me, to have someone like you as my mentor.
05:56Oh, well, mentor.
05:58So, could I call you sometime in the city?
06:01If I could just spend some time with you, that would be so cool.
06:04Of course.
06:05I'll be looking at a very busy summer.
06:07I can help.
06:08I'll run errands.
06:09I'll do your wash.
06:10No, no.
06:10No menial labor necessary.
06:13I'll just give you my phone number.
06:15Oh, my God.
06:15This is so cool.
06:18Oh, it's good.
06:18Oh, thank you.
06:24The next day, Miranda woke up early to enjoy the cool morning breeze and a much-needed moment
06:29of solitude.
06:36All right, somebody puked on the deck.
06:38Oh, sorry.
06:40Stacy and Holly did too many jello shots.
06:43What are you, 25 now?
06:46Good morning.
06:48No, 27.
06:51Whatever.
06:53That week, back in the city, I wondered.
06:55What was the allure of the 20s?
06:57On one hand, there's great skin tone, the thrill of fresh experience, and the sense of a consequence-free life
07:02full of seemingly endless possibilities.
07:04While on the other, there are horrible apartments, sexually inexperienced men, and embarrassing errors in fashion judgment.
07:13Should we fear these freshly-minted single women as a threat to our very survival?
07:18Or pity them as clueless half-wits about to get their dreams dashed and illusions shattered?
07:2320-something girls.
07:25Friend or foe?
07:28And that evening, in my first act as a mentor, I took my young acolyte to a book party.
07:35Oh, my God.
07:39I can't believe I'm out with Carrie Bradshaw.
07:41This is too cool.
07:42Oh, stop.
07:43I can feel my head swelling.
07:44If it gets any bigger, I'm going to have to say a bite of my hat.
07:47I have a question.
07:48Do you think that 25 is too young to write a personal memoir?
07:51Well, as long as it doesn't deal with incest, Prozac, or partying, no.
07:55Well, it does deal with sex.
07:57Or rather, not having sex.
07:58It's about how girls might-
08:03Saving what for marriage?
08:05A virginity.
08:07Are you seriously telling me that you've never had sex with a man?
08:10That is correct.
08:12Okay.
08:13Uh, now, what do you consider sex?
08:17Are you implying I'm some kind of Lewinsky?
08:19No, no, I-
08:19I'm not.
08:20I'm talking no blowjobs, no handjobs.
08:22All right, I get it.
08:23No jobs of any kind.
08:25You know what?
08:26I think I need to get a drink.
08:28I'll get it.
08:29Cosmopolitan, right?
08:30Yeah.
08:31I remember.
08:32From your column.
08:35A 25-year-old virgin was getting me a Cosmopolitan.
08:39The generation gap had never seemed so wide.
08:42Hi.
08:43Hi.
08:45Have you actually read the book?
08:47Uh, no, have you?
08:48Nope, not yet.
08:49Do you know anything about the author?
08:50Yeah, his family has a history of diabetes and he has a steel splint in his left femur.
08:54I'm his doctor, Bradley Migo.
08:56Oh, Carrie Bradshaw.
08:59Geez, my doctor won't even make house calls, let alone attend a book party.
09:02Yeah, I'd never been to one before.
09:03I thought it might be interesting.
09:04Now it's just exceeded all my expectations.
09:06Yeah, I know.
09:07Generally, it's just cheese and crackers.
09:08You never see an actual shrimp.
09:10No, I meant you.
09:11Oh.
09:12You know, I'd ask you out for a drink after, but I'm driving straight from here to the Hamptons.
09:15Oh, I'm actually going out to the Hamptons tomorrow.
09:18Well, great.
09:18Um, can I call you there?
09:21Alright, well, you know what?
09:23I'll be with my friends Saturday at Town Line Beach.
09:26Big yellow umbrella.
09:27You can come by and say hello if you like.
09:28Is this just a ploy to see me in my bathing suit?
09:30Yeah.
09:31Use your Cosmomis.
09:33Hi.
09:33Uh, Dr. Bradley Migo.
09:36This is Laurel.
09:37Hi.
09:37Hey.
09:38Um, so, what if it rains?
09:40Do we pick another date, or...?
09:41Doctor, you are persistent.
09:44All right.
09:45In case of emergency only.
09:52Well, now I'm going to have to buy the book.
09:55Nice meeting you.
09:56You, too.
09:57Okay.
09:58Drive safe.
10:00Oh, my God.
10:00He is such a fox.
10:02Did you just meet him when I was at the bar?
10:04Mm-hmm.
10:04Lady, you got it going on.
10:09That Saturday turned out...
10:14...thing girls sizzled on the sand like rotisserie chickens.
10:17Excuse me, when did tanning come back in style?
10:20Hand me the 45.
10:2145?
10:22Didn't know it went up that high.
10:24You could sit in a microwave and not burn.
10:27It's Charlotte's, but I don't think she's going to be using it.
10:29It's not good for her 27-year-old image.
10:32Well, she actually put on oil.
10:35Just let her have her fun now.
10:37Come Labor Day, she's going to look like a 27-year-old handbag.
10:40I'd risk a few pre-cancerous freckles for a summer romance.
10:44And right then, my summer romance made his appearance right on schedule.
10:48Yellow umbrellas seem to be very popular this year.
10:51Hey.
10:52Samantha Miranda, this is Dr. Bradley Migo.
10:55Hello.
10:55Hi.
10:56So what kind of a doctor are you, doctor?
10:58Uh, internal medicine, general all-purpose kind of thing.
11:01Fabulous.
11:02So you can prescribe medication.
11:04What did you have in mind?
11:05Feel free to ignore her.
11:06I'm sure that's impossible.
11:07Listen, I'm going to go take a quick dip now.
11:10You've promised not to ditch me now.
11:11I promise.
11:12Okay.
11:16Is that the guy from the book party?
11:17Yeah.
11:25Good-looking, polite.
11:26How's in the Hamptons?
11:28Good on paper?
11:29Well, you know the rule.
11:31Good on paper, bad in bed.
11:34A good on paper guy is a guy with great credentials who you always end up leaving for some hot
11:38guy
11:39who rides a motorcycle and doesn't have a checking account.
11:42Yeah!
11:42Yeah!
11:43Oh, my God!
11:45The water feels so awesome.
11:47You guys should really go in.
11:48You better put on some sunscreen, Georgette Hamilton.
11:51Oh, that's okay.
11:52I never burn.
11:53Well, I do.
11:54In fact, I think I've had enough for today.
11:56I'm going to go grocery shopping.
11:57You guys want anything?
11:58Oh, we should get some rum.
12:00We can make Long Island iced teas.
12:01Oh, yes.
12:02I love Long Island iced teas.
12:05Excellent!
12:13So I took a leap of faith and made reservations at one of those impossible to get into restaurants
12:17for tonight.
12:17Oh, wow.
12:19I'd love to.
12:20I just...
12:21I can't abandon my friends.
12:23Well, actually, that wasn't an invitation.
12:25It was just restaurant chitchat.
12:26Oh.
12:27Oh.
12:28I'm kidding.
12:29Oh.
12:31How about after dinner?
12:32I got a great little house.
12:33Cute little porch we can sit on.
12:35Oh.
12:36I don't know.
12:37Okay.
12:38Then, how about if I just call your in case of emergency number this weekend?
12:42The emergency being, I think I'm going to miss you.
12:46Yes.
12:47You could definitely do that.
12:48Good.
12:50Romantic, polite, and his very own house south of the highway.
12:53My good on paper guy was jumping right off the page.
12:57Later that afternoon, we came back from the beach, rested, rejuvenated, feeling almost
13:0129 again.
13:02Even Miranda was in good spirits.
13:04Hi, guys!
13:05...for the market.
13:06Yeah?
13:06Fresh corn and seafood for dinner.
13:09Except, Carrie, your groupie can't stay.
13:11I only got enough for the four of us.
13:13She's here?
13:14Yeah.
13:14She was asking too many inane questions.
13:16I sent her up to your room.
13:17Oh, thanks.
13:19Sorry.
13:19So, I've got to go shower.
13:21I'm all itchy in my bathing suit from the sand, and then I'm going to help you.
13:23Okay.
13:23Take your time.
13:24Samantha, that came for you.
13:25Oh.
13:28Oh, my God.
13:30What's wrong?
13:31It's for the Hamptons Hoedown tomorrow night, and the event is being run by Nina G Public Relations.
13:35Nina G.
13:37Overnight, Samantha's ex-assistant, Nina Grabowski, had reinvented herself as Nina G.
13:41I was up for that job, and now she's using my Rolodex to put together that guest list.
13:45While Samantha was getting fucked royally by her protege, mine was giving me the royal treatment.
13:51It's not that I don't want to have sex with men.
13:53I just feel like these previous generations of women have devalued sex to the point where it's not even special
13:58anymore.
13:59One summer when I was 15, I read everything Jackie Collins ever wrote.
14:03And I thought to myself, who cares?
14:04I mean, is this supposed to be shocking, wagging one's pussy at every good-looking stud who walks by?
14:09Please.
14:10And what is it you like about my column?
14:13I have a tiny tick on my stomach, and I can't get it off.
14:16Ooh, does it hurt?
14:17No, but it itches.
14:19Oh my god, that is not a tick.
14:21What is it?
14:27Oh my god, it's so disgusting!
14:30Where's she gone?
14:31To the drugstore?
14:33Charlotte really is in her 20s.
14:35She's got crabs.
14:36Oh my god!
14:39That night, I called Dr. Migo.
14:41I figured, it was an emergency.
14:45I just, I have this thing about crabs.
14:47I had them once in college, and the experience scarred me for life.
14:50So I really, I don't think I can go back to that house until the mattresses are sanitized and the
14:53sheets and towels are burned.
14:54No, I'm flattered you thought of me.
14:57I'd be happy to prescribe your friend some industrial strength pubicide.
14:59No, that's alright.
15:01I think she can take care of herself.
15:03Here, cheers.
15:04Cheers.
15:12You might have to spend the night here, you know?
15:14I might have to, but only to sleep.
15:17You know, women are always saying that, and as soon as the lights go out, boom, they're going right for
15:21my pajamas.
15:23Alrighty, I promise.
15:25No funny stuff.
15:31That night we slept together, but we didn't sleep together.
15:34It was really nice.
15:35And I believe it was the first instance of a case of crabs moving our relationship forward.
15:46Every year, one of the local Hampton's billionaires got down and dirty and threw a big hoedown full of cowboys
15:52and caviar.
15:53It was the event of the season.
15:56We joined Samantha to lend our moral support.
15:59I can't believe it.
16:00There are people here who don't even come to my parties, and they came to Nina's.
16:06Look at her over there.
16:08Beef jerky carpaccio?
16:10I am just so depressed right now.
16:13Excuse me.
16:14Hey, where are you going?
16:16To congratulate Nina.
16:17I may need her to hire me someday.
16:20While Samantha set out to negotiate 20-something detente, Charlotte prepared to launch a full-out war.
16:27Excuse me.
16:29No way.
16:39Hey!
16:41Do you know that you gave me crabs?
16:45What?
16:46You heard me.
16:47What makes you think it was me?
16:49Oh, that is so tacky.
16:51Yeah, well, so is lying about your age.
16:52I saw your driver's license when you bought the beer last night.
16:55I didn't lie.
16:56You made an assumption.
16:57I didn't contradict it.
16:58Whatever.
16:58You know, I may have given you crabs, but you deceived me.
17:03That is so much worse.
17:05Grow up.
17:12You are a wait person.
17:13That does not mean that you wait.
17:14It means that you go.
17:15Nina!
17:16Oh, my God.
17:18You actually came.
17:20I just stopped by to wish you good luck.
17:22It's a fabulous party.
17:25That is very cool of you.
17:26Nina, I told you.
17:27I didn't want Martha seated near the hayride.
17:28She's allergic.
17:29Could you please try to keep young people out until after 11?
17:32Oh, yeah.
17:34I just want to tell you, we're all out of country by goat cheese.
17:36Somebody got stuck with a cactus needle, and there are people outside with invitations
17:39who are not on the fucking list.
17:40Jesus fucking Christ.
17:42You are totally coked out.
17:43You are totally jealous.
17:45What is that?
17:46Oh, my God.
17:46What is that?
17:47What is that?
17:48Oh, my God.
17:49Oh, my God.
17:49What?
17:50What is happening?
17:51That is not supposed to happen until midnight.
17:53I know.
17:53This is your problem.
17:55Get them to stop.
17:55I can't.
17:56They're on fucking barge.
17:58Oh, my God.
17:59Samantha, could you help me?
18:00I need to get everybody outside.
18:02I'm just...
18:03I'm totally fucked right now.
18:05Okay, people.
18:07Fiesta fireworks outside.
18:09Let's go.
18:10Let's go.
18:12Oh, Nina.
18:13Yeah.
18:14This is Greg.
18:15I think the two of you would really hit it off.
18:18Hi.
18:19Hi.
18:20Hi.
18:23I began to realize then that the biggest threat 20-something girls posed was to themselves.
18:28Hey, Carrie.
18:29I've been looking all over for you.
18:30Hey.
18:31Look, I got one just like yours.
18:32Oh, wow.
18:33That's great.
18:33You want me to get you a cosmopolitan?
18:35No, no, that's okay.
18:36I'm actually...
18:36I'm gonna go find my date, but I'll see you later, okay?
18:38That guy from the bookstore?
18:39Oh, my God.
18:39He was so cute.
18:41Annoying, yes.
18:42Dangerous, no.
18:44They were simply our youthful doppelgangers who needed our compassion more than anything.
18:49And then everything I so firmly believed was promptly blown to pieces.
19:02Yeah?
19:03Is it you?
19:05Hey.
19:06What are you...
19:07What are you doing here?
19:09What am I doing here?
19:14I just got back this week from Paris.
19:18Well, Carrie, this is Natasha.
19:20Hi.
19:20It's a pleasure to meet you.
19:21I've heard so much about you.
19:23Oh, really?
19:25Natasha's parents have a house here in East Hampton.
19:27We just came up for the weekend.
19:29Excuse me.
19:30It's nice to meet you, Carrie.
19:35Hi.
19:40Hi.
19:40Hi.
19:40I'm sorry.
19:40I'm just a little stunned here and confused.
19:46Who is she?
19:47Well, I...
19:48You know, I meant to call you.
19:51She's a girl.
19:53She's this girl that I met in Paris.
19:56She works for Ralph Lauren in Europe.
20:01So you're just in from Paris for the weekend?
20:03No.
20:05The Paris deal fell through.
20:08I, uh...
20:10I planned on calling you.
20:12I certainly didn't want to run into you like this.
20:14Well, you can't plan everything.
20:16Life can be pretty random.
20:17I'm here on a date, too.
20:19Somewhere.
20:20It's Dr. Bradley Migo.
20:23He's good on paper.
20:24You know, probably like Natasha.
20:25Good-looking, sweet, blah, blah, blah.
20:29So how old is she, anyway?
20:33I don't know.
20:3426, 27.
20:37Something like that.
20:41Well, I'll see you in the Hamptons or back in the city.
20:45I promised a call when I get back into town.
20:58Mary!
21:00Are you okay?
21:02No.
21:03I just ran into Big.
21:06He's back from Paris.
21:08He has a new girlfriend.
21:10She's 26.
21:29And then I realized.
21:31Twenty-something girls are just fabulous.
21:34Until you see one with the man who broke your heart.
21:42Life is all about making choices.
21:44Some choices, like who you marry, are big.
21:46While others are even bigger.
21:49Hey.
21:49What do you think?
21:50The $5 ones that last three days or the $10 ones that last five days?
21:54Either one.
21:55Three days.
21:57Five dollars.
21:59Another choice is how to deal with an ex-boyfriend.
22:02Some women handle it coolly, calmly.
22:04While others...
22:05Fuck!
22:07Steve!
22:09Go!
22:10Go!
22:10Hey!
22:11My dollar!
22:11Do it, Paris!
22:12Come back here!
22:22He just looks so hurt, like a kid in one of those big-eyed velvet paintings.
22:26Oh, poor Steve.
22:27Well, I'm sorry.
22:28I panicked.
22:29What was I gonna do?
22:29Stand around and chit-chat about the weather?
22:31The man has been inside me, for God's sakes.
22:33Can I get some more sweet and low?
22:34I have never been able to be friends with an ex-boyfriend.
22:37I meet those couples who stay friends, and I think how?
22:39How do they do that?
22:40I've never been able to be friends with any man.
22:42Why would I?
22:43Women are for friendships, men are for fucking.
22:44Honey, you have got to learn to form an opinion.
22:46Friendship is the bonus of a relationship.
22:48If they don't want the relationship, they don't get me as a friend.
22:50So what, if you don't make it as a couple, you withhold your friendship as punishment?
22:54Well, you'd make it sound so bad.
22:55Black widow spiders bite the heads off of their mates when they're through with them.
22:58I think withholding friendship is letting them off easy.
23:01Hey, can you imagine you guys, instead of the whole awful breaking up scene,
23:03you're just like, hey, you, come here, and you're just like,
23:05and you chop their head off?
23:06Believe me.
23:07I would love to be one of those people who's all, we loved, thank you, you enriched my life.
23:13Now go, prosper, but I'm much more, we didn't work out, you need to not exist.
23:19What?
23:19It's just, it's just so childish, not you, the whole situation.
23:24I mean, we keep dresses we'll never wear again, we throw away our ex-boyfriends.
23:30I'm not, I'm not saying that I'm any better, I mean, I'm not, you know, I haven't been able to
23:34be friends with Big, but,
23:36if you love someone, and you break up, where does the love go?
23:41To their next girlfriend!
23:42Oh, no, no, no, no, that is a different love.
23:45There is no way that the love that I had with Big is the same thing that he has with
23:49Natasha.
23:50Natasha, when did you stop calling her the idiot stick figure with no soul?
23:54About three weeks ago, when I saw them at Cafe M.
23:56He was holding her hand and smiling, and I finally got it.
24:02They're happy, slash, we're over.
24:06And it was okay.
24:11Natasha, what a bullshit name, totally.
24:13Stupid!
24:14That's complete bullshit.
24:16Later that night, I got to thinking about the X factor.
24:19In mathematics, we learned that X stands for the unknown.
24:22A plus B equals X.
24:24But what's really unknown is, what plus what equals friendship with an X?
24:29Is this an unsolvable equation?
24:31Or is it possible to transform a once passionate love into something that fits nice and easily onto the friendship
24:38shelf?
24:38I couldn't help but wonder.
24:41Can you be friends with an X?
24:43That Sunday afternoon, Miranda was sitting at home enjoying a biscotti and the paper when...
24:52There it was, her X's head.
24:56I hear you breathing.
25:01Yeah.
25:02Uh, hi.
25:04That was a shitty, shitty thing you did, running away from me on the street.
25:07I didn't run.
25:09You ran.
25:10Well, I wasn't expecting to see you, and I'm...
25:13It really hurt my feelings.
25:16Well, I don't do very well with ex-boyfriends, and...
25:20Miranda, this is me.
25:23Steve.
25:29Yeah.
25:31I held your head while you were sleeping.
25:38I'm sorry.
25:40I'm so sorry.
25:42It's okay.
25:43It's okay.
25:43It's okay.
25:44I just...
25:44I hadn't seen you in so long.
25:46And I missed you.
25:47And then I did that shitty thing.
25:49It wasn't that shitty, really.
25:51It was.
25:51It was a shitty thing.
25:52I'm a shitty person.
25:54You're not a shitty person.
25:54I am.
25:55I am shitty.
25:56You would never do anything that shitty.
25:58What do you call showing up at your apartment in the middle of the afternoon and calling you shitty?
26:03Yeah, that was pretty shitty.
26:05You got a bat in that cave.
26:12I miss you.
26:15Whenever something funny happens, I always want to tell you about it.
26:19So tell me.
26:21Just because we didn't make it as a couple doesn't mean we can't have a friendly meal once in a
26:25while, does it?
26:28I guess not.
26:30So what are you doing Friday?
26:32I have a date.
26:35Looking forward to it, are you?
26:39As Miranda made plans to have dinner with her last love,
26:44Charlotte came face to face with the memory of her first,
26:48her horse, Taddy.
26:51Charlotte's relationship with Taddy ended sadly when he threw her during a teen equestrian competition,
26:56causing her to break her collarbone and lose the blue ribbon.
27:00Her father promptly sold Taddy to another family and she hadn't been on a horse since.
27:09Charlotte wondered if maybe it was time to get back in the saddle again.
27:13Meanwhile, across town, Samantha was about to see a stallion of her own.
27:20Charlotte was about to see a traditional flip 영화ist.
27:21We'll haveнич titled.
27:27To be continued.
27:39I got to tell you, you look amazing.
27:42To be continued.
27:46That thing comes soon through and out of Taddy moves less to an hour before a day.
27:48sometime. And what makes you think I'd like that? From the way you were just checking me out.
27:55Well, you get 10 points for directives. Do I also get your phone number? I'm not sure yet.
28:02I'll tell you what. Here's my business card. You call me.
28:08Lately picking a woman up on the street. How'd you get to be so cocky?
28:13I was just born that way, I guess. At least consider meeting me for a friendly little drink.
28:19I'll think about it, Mr. Cocky.
28:24Please do.
28:34It was later that week when I spotted a Laura Ashley dress circa 1988 still hanging in my closet
28:40that I decided it was time to give my ex a friendly phone call.
28:50Hello?
28:51I hadn't planned on the idiot stick figure with no soul answering.
28:56Then I remembered. Big had caller ID.
29:00Shit.
29:09Hello?
29:11Well, hello yourself.
29:12Hey. Hello. Did you just call?
29:15No. Well, yes, but I didn't get to talk because I hit the... accidentally I hit the thing.
29:23thing. So, you know, it hung up.
29:26Uh, well, so yes.
29:28And I, um, I, uh, I heard, um, Natasha, so apologize to her.
29:35So how is Natasha?
29:37Uh, quite great. Uh, she's great.
29:44How are you?
29:46I am a-okay.
29:49You sound a little nuts.
29:51Come on. Can't you let one go by?
29:54This is weird.
29:56First call.
29:57Right.
29:58Maybe I'd, I'd, I'd do better if I went with my little prepared speech.
30:03Oh, you have a speech, do you?
30:04Okay.
30:06I was wondering what you thought of, instead of pretending each other doesn't exist, we tried to be friends or
30:15something.
30:19Well, I'd like that.
30:21I've been meaning to call you, but I didn't know if you wanted to hear from me, so I...
30:25Do you want to have a lunch or something?
30:27Let's have a lunch.
30:34Hi, I have a one o'clock reservation, Bradshaw.
30:37I used to make our lunch reservations in Big's name, but today I put it in mine, because that's what
30:42friends do.
30:43Yes, the other party is already here.
30:47Hey.
30:50Hey.
30:51Hey.
30:55Are you hungry?
30:56Because I'm hungry.
30:57I got up at six, worked out, hardly had any breakfast.
31:01They have a great Cobb salad here.
31:03So what do you say, shall we eat?
31:05Let's eat.
31:06We'll eat.
31:07And that's when I realized it.
31:08Big was nervous.
31:09It was odd.
31:10The new friend part of me felt incredibly compassionate, while the old girlfriend part of me felt incredibly smug.
31:16Oh, you okay?
31:18Yeah.
31:18All right.
31:28Well, you look good.
31:30So do you.
31:31Good afternoon.
31:34The Cobb salad is very good here.
31:36Can I get you something to drink?
31:38Um, iced tea?
31:40Uh, mineral water.
31:44Scotch.
31:45Cosmopolitan.
31:48An hour later, I had solved the unsolvable friendship equation.
31:52It seems the answer is this.
31:55Cosmopolitans plus Scotch equals friendship with an ex.
31:58Oh, God.
32:00And what about your music?
32:02If I had to listen to freaking Blood, Sweat, and Tears one more time.
32:06Hey, Blood, Sweat, and Tears is great stuff.
32:09Ten minutes after we're awake?
32:13Okay.
32:14Okay.
32:16Tell me about the girl.
32:21Really?
32:22Yeah.
32:22Friends talk about their relationships.
32:24So, uh, go ahead, friend.
32:26Tell me about the girl.
32:33Well, she's, she's very sweet.
32:34Okay, enough.
32:35Don't tell me about the girl.
32:36No can do.
32:37Uh, maybe we should make a pact.
32:40We don't talk about our relationships until they get really serious or something.
32:44Okay?
32:49Carrie.
32:52It is serious.
32:58We're engaged.
33:01I wanted you to hear it from me.
33:03Oh.
33:05I just got a splitting headache.
33:07Well, I, I didn't know how to tell you it.
33:12And when you call for lunch.
33:13Engaged?
33:15How can you be engaged?
33:16You have a problem with commitment, remember?
33:19In fact, you told me you never wanted to get married again, ever.
33:25Well, things change.
33:26Meaning what?
33:26You just didn't want to marry me.
33:28Look, Natasha and I...
33:29Don't say her name to me.
33:30Don't you dare say her name to me.
33:32You string me along for two years and then you marry some 25-year-old girl after only five months?
33:39I did not string you along.
33:40Okay, yeah, right.
33:40Fine.
33:41That's right.
33:41You didn't string me along.
33:42You know what?
33:42I have to go.
33:43I have a headache.
33:45Are you okay?
33:46Come on.
33:47Here.
33:47Don't help me.
33:48Don't you help me.
33:52Carrie, hold on.
33:53Wait a minute.
33:53Wait, wait.
33:54What?
33:54What is it?
34:06Kinski, or whatever her name is, have a nice life.
34:08Don't worry about me.
34:09I'm fine.
34:12These steps are very dangerous.
34:20The next day, I had promised to hold Charlotte's hand while she attempted to go riding.
34:24Turned out, she needed to hold mine as well.
34:26How you doing?
34:28Aside for the fact that my ex is engaged to a teenager, I've got horse shit on my $300
34:34goddamn shoes.
34:36Doing okay?
34:37Well, I think you're amazing.
34:38I would be in a hospital or something.
34:40What the fuck is his problem?
34:42Oh, he's just got a stubborn streak.
34:45I mean, some horses, they never really like to be ridden.
34:48Taddy was like that when I first got him, but then once I broke him in, then he loved it.
34:52You know what?
34:53I broke in big.
34:55I did.
34:55I broke him in, and now the idiot stick figure with no soul gets to ride him.
34:59Carrie, I'm really sorry.
35:03I know you are, sweetie.
35:04Thanks.
35:07Damn!
35:08Damn!
35:09You see, this is what happens.
35:10You try to be friendly with an ex, and you wind up knee-deep in shit!
35:17Perfect.
35:26Here you go.
35:27This is pal.
35:27He's a good boy.
35:28Oh, and he's brown.
35:30Taddy was brown, but he had white spots on his flank.
35:34Just stay till I'm on the horse, then you can go, okay?
35:36Yeah, I'm here.
35:37It's all lovely.
35:39Go have fun.
35:41Hey, pal.
35:42Here you go.
35:43Foot in and up you go.
35:44As Charlotte placed her boot in the stirrup, all her bad memories of Taddy and broken bones
35:49and lost ribbons flooded over her.
35:52No.
35:54I can't.
35:56No.
35:57I can't.
35:57Let's go.
35:58He's just paying.
35:59I said I can't.
36:00Hey, he's all saddled up.
36:01Psst.
36:04After a few get-to-know-each-other phone calls,
36:06Samantha took up Mr. Cocky on his offer of a friendly drink.
36:10Turns out, it was a very friendly drink.
36:12I'm so easy.
36:14I want you to know that I never pick up guys on the street unless they're very cute.
36:19So get over here, you cutie you.
36:23You know, before we go any further, I gotta warn you about something.
36:27Warn me about what?
36:30I'm very well endowed.
36:33Ding, ding, ding, jackpot.
36:35No, no, no, no.
36:36I'm serious.
36:37It's huge.
36:39I mean, most women, I just can't handle it.
36:45Well, I'm not most women.
36:48So unzip and get over here.
36:54Samantha suddenly understood what made Mr. Cocky so cocky.
37:06I'm telling you, Carrie, it was like a wall of flesh coming at me.
37:10There's nothing scarier than a really big one coming at you.
37:12I didn't even want to get my mouth near it.
37:14I was afraid I'd get locked up.
37:16I mean, it was quite a shock.
37:17His hands are relatively tiny.
37:19Oh, don't tell me you believe that.
37:20Well, not anymore.
37:22I am really going to have to psych myself up before I try it again.
37:25You're going to try it again? Why?
37:27Because it's there.
37:29Sweetie, it's a penis, not Mount Everest.
37:31Well, let me tell you.
37:32If it was Mount Everest last night, I could only make it to base camp one.
37:35Wowza.
37:36You dated Mr. Big?
37:38I'm dating Mr. Too Big.
37:40You know what?
37:40You're unbelievable.
37:41You broke up with James because he was too small.
37:44This guy's too big.
37:45Who are you?
37:46Goldiecocks?
37:47Yep.
37:47Well, I'm looking for one that's just right.
37:51That night after a friendly dinner, Steve and Miranda began to explore their newfound friendship.
37:56You know, if you were a real friend, you'd let me keep it.
37:59I'm sorry.
38:00That's one of the conditions of a breakup.
38:01You've got to give me back my fire department t-shirt.
38:03It fits me perfectly.
38:04Who, who?
38:05Tell it to the judge.
38:06Please?
38:06Nope.
38:11Sal, thanks for coming out for dinner.
38:13Well, thanks for letting me pay, finally.
38:15Hey, that's what friends do, isn't it?
38:19Well, goodnight.
38:23Right.
38:24That's what friends do, isn't it?
38:29Hey, I got another question for you.
38:33Do friends kiss...
38:37here?
38:41No.
38:42Oh.
38:45Do friends kiss here?
38:52No.
38:54No.
38:57Do friends kiss?
39:01Yeah.
39:28So many good reasons for breaking up, right?
39:29Yeah.
39:31Money.
39:32Schedules.
39:33Goals.
39:35Good reasons.
39:39So what now?
39:42Are we still just friends?
39:44Yeah.
39:46We're still just friends.
39:48Friends who have sex.
39:51Oh.
40:07And in a bed across town...
40:09You ready?
40:11Wait.
40:14Wait.
40:15After two advanced yoga classes and a hit of the best Hawaiian gold she could find, Samantha
40:21was ready to take another run at Mount Everest.
40:23Okay.
40:25Here we go.
40:28Nice and easy.
40:33Okay.
40:38That's it.
40:42Easy.
40:44Easy.
40:44Easy.
40:47Okay.
40:49Oh, good.
40:51Oh.
40:52Oh, good.
40:54Good.
40:55Okay.
40:56Here we go.
40:59Here we go?
41:00Yeah.
41:01You mean we're not there yet?
41:03No.
41:04Okay, stop.
41:06Whoa, boy.
41:07Whoa, whoa.
41:12Can we just be friends?
41:17And just like that, Samantha made her very first male friend.
41:23The next day in Central Park, Charlotte was making a new friend as well.
41:27Whoa.
41:28Whoa.
41:29Good, pal.
41:31She had decided she and pal were moving too fast.
41:33Before they could go any further, they needed to slow down and get to know each other better.
41:38You're a good boy, pal.
41:41Does that feel good?
41:43Do you like that?
41:44Oh, my Taddy liked that too.
41:46Yes.
41:47I love my Taddy so much.
41:49Oh.
41:50Good boy.
41:52And with that gentle nudge from her new pal, all Charlotte's bad feelings about Taddy lifted.
41:57And she remembered just how much she had loved his cute white spots.
42:01Easy.
42:02Easy.
42:04Okay.
42:05Go, boy.
42:05Go.
42:11Woo-hoo!
42:25Hey, it's Gary.
42:26I'm shoe shopping.
42:28It's me.
42:28Are you there?
42:31Pick up if you're there.
42:35You're not there.
42:38Okay.
42:41Well, I'm calling to say I feel bad about last week.
42:50I didn't mean for it to happen like that.
42:54I thought you needed to know.
42:57I hated the idea of someone else telling you.
43:00Christ.
43:02I feel like a real shit.
43:03I'm sorry.
43:04I'm really sorry.
43:07I would, you know, I would never, ever hurt you deliberately.
43:11I know you wouldn't.
43:13You're there.
43:14Yeah, I'm here.
43:23So, like I was saying, I'm sorry.
43:25No, I'm sorry, too.
43:27I shouldn't have reacted like that.
43:29I just...
43:31It was just such a shock.
43:36I guess it was a shock I needed to hear to move on or something.
43:42Yeah.
43:47I wish you all the best.
43:48I do.
43:50I hope you and Natasha will be very happy.
43:53Do you mean that?
43:55No.
43:57But I will.
43:59Really.
44:00Really.
44:01I hope...
44:03Someday, very soon,
44:04we can all meet for a drink and be great friends.
44:10You know, like they do in the movies.
44:13So.
44:16Bye.
44:20Bye.
44:32And I actually managed to hold on to those friendly feelings until...
44:56I can't believe my ex-boyfriend is six blocks away at the plaza right now having an engagement brunch.
45:01I can't believe he had the nerve to invite you.
45:03Oh, no, no, no.
45:04It's my own fault.
45:05I had to make the big let's be friends speech.
45:09But who am I kidding?
45:10Big and I were never friends.
45:11We were something else.
45:13Something that apparently did not end with an engagement party at the plaza.
45:17Do we want another round?
45:18What do you think?
45:19Four more, please.
45:20Coming right up.
45:21You know, I think I can actually feel them over there eating shrimp.
45:24It's just...
45:26Why her?
45:28I mean, really.
45:30Why her?
45:31One word.
45:33Hubble.
45:34Hubble.
45:35Oh, my God.
45:36Hubble.
45:37It is.
45:39It is so Hubble.
45:40Who's Hubble?
45:42Hubble.
45:42Robert Hubble Redford in The Way We Were.
45:45Oh, I love that movie.
45:47No, I love, love, love that movie.
45:49Never saw it.
45:50Oh, my God.
45:52What are you, an alien?
45:53How could you not have seen The Way We Were?
45:55Take film.
45:56Okay.
45:57Robert Redford is madly in love with Barbra Streisand.
46:00Katie.
46:00K-K-K-Kate.
46:01Oh, K-K-K-Kate, right?
46:03Yeah, but he can't be with her because she's too complicated and she has wild curly hair.
46:08Hello, K-K-K-Kurly.
46:09Yeah.
46:10So he leaves her and marries this simple girl with straight hair.
46:15Ladies, I'm having an epiphany.
46:17The world is made up of two types of women, the simple girls and the Katie girls.
46:22I'm a Katie girl, and where are our drinks?
46:25I always, always, always cry at the last scene of that movie when she sees him in front of the
46:30hotel with his new wife.
46:31The simple girl.
46:32And she reaches up and smooths his hair away.
46:35And she says to him,
46:36Your girl is lovely Hubble.
46:39And then the music comes in.
46:41Memories.
46:42Oh, my God.
46:43It's so good.
46:44Like the corners of my mind.
46:46Misty, water-colored memories of the way we were.
46:52Let me do my favorite part.
46:53Can it be...
46:54Oh, yes, yes!
46:56Can it be that it was all so simple then?
47:00Or has time rewritten every line?
47:03If we had the chance to do it all again?
47:08Tell me, would we?
47:11Could we?
47:14Memories.
47:16I miss James.
47:18Excuse me?
47:21After I left my friends, I found myself pulled to the site of the big engagement party.
47:25I had no intention of going in.
47:27But it was on my way home.
47:39Uh, one second.
47:42I had a choice.
47:44I could run, or I could stand and ask him the question that if I didn't ask, would haunt me
47:49the rest of my life.
47:50I thought by the time I got here, I'd know what to say.
47:54And?
47:56Well, you're late.
47:59The party's over.
48:01I'll say it is.
48:04Funny.
48:07Anyway, I was just on my way home, and...
48:10Hey.
48:12I have a question for you.
48:15Why wasn't it me?
48:16Carrie.
48:17No, seriously.
48:19I really need to hear you say it.
48:22Come on, be a friend.
48:27I don't know.
48:29It just got so hard.
48:33And she's...
48:35Yeah.
48:48Your girl is lovely, Hubbell.
48:52I don't get it.
48:54And you never did.
49:03Easy, girl. Easy.
49:05Easy.
49:14Then I had a thought.
49:16Maybe I didn't break big.
49:17Maybe the problem was, he couldn't break me.
49:21Maybe some women aren't meant to be taped.
49:24Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with.
49:30Listen, that's what you need.
49:36You're done.
49:36And you're done.
49:37You're done.
49:38You're done.
49:38You're done.
49:39Listen, you haven't made up from here.