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00:03There is nothing more humiliating for a woman than a visit to the gynecologist.
00:07Do you need more ortho-novum?
00:09Unless it's having to tell your gynecologist that you don't need to be on the pill anymore.
00:13Actually, I'm going off it.
00:15Are you trying to have a baby?
00:17No. No, I guess I sort of jumped the gun going on it in the first place,
00:23because Steve, the guy that I went on it for,
00:26the first real relationship I've had in years is over,
00:29and I don't need a daily reminder that I'm not having sex.
00:32So, that's the story with the pill, and, uh, okay, I'm quiet now.
00:38Just when Miranda thought she'd hit rock bottom,
00:40she discovered a new geological layer of humiliation.
00:44Well, we got your tests back, and everything looks fine.
00:47Great!
00:48Just one small thing.
00:49It appears you have a lazy ovary.
00:52A lazy ovary?
00:53Yes. Your right ovary has stopped producing eggs.
00:57Is it possible it's just on strike?
01:00I know what this is.
01:02My right ovary has given up hope that I will ever get married and have kids.
01:06It's like working on a case that you know is going to settle out of court.
01:08Why bother?
01:09Well, the left one still believes.
01:10I'm a biological underachiever.
01:12And it's ironic, because that ovary went to Harvard.
01:15I have a tilted uterus.
01:18So?
01:18So, the sperm have to jump over that hurdle to get to my egg.
01:22Yes, but once they get there, there will be an egg.
01:25I need a new gynecologist. Do you like yours?
01:27Not right now, no.
01:28At least she's a woman.
01:30I tried to go to a man, but it was just too strange.
01:32Having a guy spend all that time down there, and then you leave without an orgasm and a bill.
01:36Here, you guys, I'm going to get this.
01:38Uh, you know, I don't think these are accepted here.
01:41Oh, I'm spending the night at Big's.
01:45My God, after all this time, you don't have so much as a drawer there?
01:48Big is weird about stuff.
01:50All men are. That's why you have to just stake out some territory.
01:53Sweetie, it's not a land run, it's a relationship.
01:55Exactly. Talk to him about it.
01:57With Big, I think it's best to walk softly and carry a big purse.
02:01Yes, she shouldn't leave anything there. It's important to remain a creature of mystery.
02:05What's the big mystery? He knows that she wears underwear.
02:08I never leave underwear at a guy's place because I never see it again.
02:10What happens to it?
02:11Nothing. I just never go back.
02:13Doesn't that get a little expensive, disposing of lingerie every time you sleep with a guy?
02:17That's why I stopped wearing underwear on dates.
02:19And that's why I'm never borrowing a dress from you again.
02:22I once found another woman's underwear in a man's bed.
02:25Maybe it was Samantha's.
02:28You know, once in Steve's bathroom, I found one of those hair scrunchies from the 80s.
02:33I'm not sure what was more disturbing, the fact that he had a girlfriend before me,
02:37or the fact that he dated someone who wore a scrunchie.
02:40Half my music collection is left behind by past boyfriends.
02:42I always give that stuff back.
02:44Oh, I don't. I consider it a parting gift.
02:47Thanks for playing, and here's the latest from Hootie and the Blowfish.
02:50They're sexual souvenirs.
02:51Okay, then I want a t-shirt that says,
02:53I dated a bartender, and all I got was this lousy ovary.
03:00The next morning at Biggs, I started to think,
03:03if the things we leave behind become the archaeological relics of our sexual history,
03:08I should be able to leave something.
03:16Ancient man left cave drawings to prove they existed.
03:19I left a HairPro 1200.
03:26And I didn't stop at that.
03:34Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.
03:40Charlotte was making history as well.
03:42Tired of the Neanderthals she'd been dating,
03:44she was defending her Saturday night with a gay friend who catered parties for the gallery,
03:49dessert chef Stefan Bodine.
03:51I had no idea that Betty Buckley was so talented.
03:54Please, she is the cat's pajamas.
03:56Why do people say that?
03:58I have no idea. Maybe because she was in Cats.
04:01Hey, let's start another one.
04:02Like, she's the dog's tuxedo.
04:04Okay.
04:06Thank you so much for inviting me.
04:08No, no, no.
04:18You want to grab a cappuccino?
04:19Oh, no. I've just got to get on home.
04:21But you're uptown?
04:22Yeah, and you're...
04:23Chelsea.
04:24I'll have you a cab.
04:35Or you could get one yourself.
04:36Just helps to show a little leg.
04:38You know, I've tried that and nothing.
04:42Thank you. Good night.
04:43Good night.
04:59So what happened? What do you think?
05:01I am so confused. Is he gay or is he straight?
05:04Well, it's not that simple anymore.
05:06The real question is, is he a straight gay man or is he a gay straight man?
05:11The gay straight man was a new strain of heterosexual males spawned in Manhattan as the result of overexposure to
05:17fashion, exotic cuisine, musical theater, and antique furniture.
05:20Well, hopefully he's a gay straight man, which means he's straight with a lot of great gay qualities.
05:24Whereas a straight gay guy is just a gay guy who plays sports and won't fuck you.
05:28He must be a gay straight man because he asked Charlotte out for a second date.
05:32Unless he's a straight gay man in denial.
05:35But our thing Saturday night wasn't even a date. I didn't wash my hair and I wore my glasses.
05:39Are those recreational? Because this drink isn't doing it for me.
05:42They're hormones. I'm trying to jumpstart my ovary.
05:45I think my mother's taking those for menopause.
05:47Why? Does she have a tilted uterus, too?
05:50Hey, isn't anybody going to notice my purse?
05:54Cute!
05:54Is it new?
05:56No, but it is quite small and panty-free.
05:59You left your underwear at Biggs.
06:01Well, no, but I did leave a hairbrush, hairdryer, razors, tampons, and eye makeup remover.
06:07Wow! Good for you!
06:09And something else.
06:12What?
06:13What?
06:16For the first time at Biggs, I did a number two.
06:19Oh, no!
06:21No!
06:22Yes! Now, I think it's a good sign that I feel comfortable enough with Bigg to do a number two.
06:27It is not a good sign.
06:29It's the end of romance.
06:30This is a big deal.
06:32I went through an entire relationship never doing that at the guy's place, including a weekend in Bermuda where I
06:37spent the whole time running to the lobby.
06:39Yeah, it's tough in New York. You know, apartments are small. There's one bathroom. You can hear everybody's everything.
06:43That's why I only date rich men.
06:45Money means that there's enough space to distance yourself from the number two.
06:49I have never done a number two at a boyfriend's place.
06:52Honey, you're so uptight. You need to do a number seven.
06:56Excuse me? It's from that guy at the end of the bar.
06:59Oh, really?
07:05Oh, my God, it's Dominic.
07:08Dominic Delmonico was a publishing magnate and the first and only man Samantha really loved.
07:13He wined and dined her, set the bar for hot sex, then dumped her for an Icelandic supermodel named Anka.
07:20Once on the cover of Fortune, he'd fallen to tabloid level due to a messy public divorce.
07:25I'm just going to say hello.
07:27After what he did to you, what did he do?
07:30He broke her heart.
07:31Imagining Samantha with a broken heart was almost more confusing to Charlotte than a French kiss from a gay man.
07:37Ancient history. I'm the one with the power now.
07:39Well, I've evolved past him.
07:53Hey, beautiful.
07:55Hiya, handsome.
08:01Hey, what's this?
08:03Oh, just a few things you left at my place.
08:09Oh, thanks.
08:15It's like I had one too many items and I was being kicked out of the relationship express lane.
08:20What is it about Big's apartment?
08:22Nothing ever sticks. It's like Teflon for women.
08:32I meant to leave that stuff at your apartment.
08:36Why?
08:38Well, for one thing, I don't wake up looking like this.
08:42I actually need stuff to look like this and it would be nice not to have to carry it around
08:48all day with me like a nomad.
08:50It's just a few things.
08:52And you can leave stuff here.
08:54I don't want to leave stuff here.
08:55Well, not a lot of stuff.
08:57Just like, you know, if you want to shave in the morning.
09:00I shave at the gym.
09:02Okay, then I don't know.
09:04Socks.
09:05You want me to leave socks here?
09:06Well, never mind what I want.
09:08What do you want?
09:09I don't know. Let's save an hour.
09:11Why don't you just tell me what I want?
09:13No, really.
09:13In your mind, what is the ideal living situation for two people in a relationship?
09:24Exactly what we have.
09:26And what is that?
09:28I have my place.
09:29You have yours.
09:31We're together when we want to be.
09:32And we're apart when we want to be.
09:34Like Woody and Mia.
09:36Before Sun Yi.
09:37Ever since Woody Allen described waving to Mia Farrow across the park,
09:41single men in Manhattan had yearned for that kind of separate togetherness.
09:45I felt like the last dinosaur.
09:47Was I the one who needed to adapt?
09:49Was my view of a relationship extinct?
09:53Couldn't stop thinking about it.
09:55This is a city where gay men are so out they're in.
09:58Where women are so chronically single, ovaries may be the next vestigial organ.
10:02We can have anything delivered at any hour.
10:04We can have our dogs walked, our clothes cleaned, our food cooked.
10:07Who needs a husband when you have a doorman?
10:09Are New Yorkers evolving past relationships?
10:12Relationships have been on the decline since women came out of the cave,
10:14looked around and said, this isn't so hard.
10:16Okay, so you don't need a man, but do you still want one?
10:19Oh, honey, I want more than one.
10:20I can't decide whether you...
10:31Lady, it took you a year to get over him.
10:34He treated you like shit.
10:36Why would you want to go out with him again?
10:37Because he treated me like shit.
10:39Okay, I'm leaning toward demise.
10:41It's called revenge.
10:41I'm going to make him want me,
10:43and right before we do it,
10:44I'm going to drop him like he dropped me.
10:46As long as you've got a plan.
10:47I'm not only a plan, I have a dress.
10:50Samantha's revenge fantasy, like all her fantasies,
10:53was even better live.
10:54Well, you're more beautiful than ever.
10:57So successful, and I'm getting gray hair,
11:00and Anka is taking me for everything I've got.
11:03I read that she got the sailboat.
11:06Yes, well, we had good times in that boat.
11:08You and Anka?
11:10You and I.
11:12I mentioned how unbelievable you look in that dress.
11:20And since Stefan hadn't come out,
11:23Charlotte accepted his invitation to stay in.
11:33That's delicious.
11:34Grilled portobello pizzas topped with fresh basil
11:37and Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese.
11:39It's Martha's recipe.
11:41Well, I love Martha Stewart.
11:43She's the dog's tuxedo.
11:46Oh, look.
11:47You have these silk placements I've been eyeing at Bergdorf's.
11:50You have good taste.
11:52Well, this is my fantasy kitchen.
11:55This is my fantasy.
12:07Is that dress Cynthia Rowley?
12:11Uh-huh.
12:12Charlotte wanted to be open-minded,
12:13but Stefan seemed to be making it as hard as possible.
12:18Meanwhile, Samantha was making Dominic as hard as possible.
12:36This was the moment Samantha had waited years and years for.
12:39What was another couple hours?
12:52Hello.
12:53I've been trying to call you.
12:54Were you at Biggs?
12:54Oh, no.
12:55I was out shopping.
12:56My relationship is at a standstill,
12:58so instead I'm evolving my look.
13:00Hey, how'd it go with Dominic?
13:01I slept with him.
13:02Well, that wasn't part of the plan.
13:04It's part of the new plan.
13:05I wanted to remind him what he was missing.
13:07I can't believe I thought he was such a great lover.
13:10I'm better than him now.
13:12Bye.
13:15In order to survive two decades of dating in New York,
13:18Samantha had become a powerful hybrid,
13:20the ego of a man trapped in the body of a woman.
13:24Charlotte feared the opposite was true of Stefan.
13:26She still needed help classifying her find,
13:29so she brought in a team of experts.
13:31Uh, Carrie, Stanford, this is Stefan.
13:34Hi.
13:35Hi.
13:35Ciao.
13:35Oh, you changed your hair.
13:37Oh, yeah, I just, it's just straightened.
13:40Have we met?
13:40No, no, no.
13:41I've seen your column.
13:42And in that photo, your hair is like free-flowing
13:44and Botticelli-esque.
13:46It's fabulous either one.
13:48So, cannolis and cream puffs and tarts.
13:51Oh, my.
13:53I put a little bit of everything.
13:55Um, this one's an experiment.
13:57It's a date tart, the pumpkin custard.
14:00This is all for us?
14:01Sweets for my sweet.
14:03And her freeloading friends.
14:04My nutritionist will kill me, but somebody hand me a fork.
14:07Can you join us?
14:08I'd love to.
14:09I have got to glaze my wedding cake.
14:14Get back to me on the tart.
14:20I find him very attractive, which of course means he's straight.
14:24Plus, he's obviously choosing to be straight because he seems to be head over heels about this one.
14:30What if he's gay and he doesn't know it yet?
14:32Honey, we are aware.
14:34When I was a boy, my father gave me a book about the female body to teach me about sex.
14:40I took one look at it and said,
14:42No.
14:43Well, how is he in bed?
14:45I don't know.
14:45I haven't slept with him yet.
14:47Really?
14:48But he wants to.
14:50It's so not fair.
14:51All the good ones are straight.
14:53Even the gay ones.
14:55I'll give you a cannoli.
15:07Are you looking at my forehead?
15:09No.
15:10No.
15:11That night, Miranda went out with Joseph Adler, a labor relations lawyer who'd been after her since the firm retreat.
15:16The lamb is delicious.
15:18You can look if you want.
15:19I've got nothing to hide.
15:21It's actually starting to fill in.
15:25She'd refused him twice before, but since she was down to her last ovary,
15:29Miranda decided she was in no position to eliminate men on the basis of hair plugs.
15:33I'm telling you, I was practically bald.
15:35I remember.
15:36And now I have hair.
15:38This is a miracle.
15:39Some more bestie?
15:40Oh, sure.
15:44You probably think I'm crazy.
15:46Actually, I was thinking you seem very happy.
15:49You know, the funny thing is, I never thought that I'd be the kind of guy to get plugs.
15:52But I've learned that you should never say never.
15:56I know what you mean.
15:57There are things that I've been considering lately that I never thought I would consider.
16:02Like what?
16:04Do you really want to know?
16:06Sure.
16:08Well, I recently found out that I have a lazy ovary, which is no big deal.
16:13It just means that I only produce an egg every other month, and I'm not even sure that I want
16:17kids.
16:18But all of a sudden it hit me that if the other ovary shuts down, I'm out of business.
16:22So, I've started taking hormones, and now I'm actually considering freezing my eggs.
16:29Freezing your eggs?
16:30Yeah, you know, like a fertility savings account.
16:34I think it would take the pressure off.
16:36It removes the whole biological clock issue.
16:38Yeah, but it raises a lot of other issues.
16:41Such as?
16:42Such as.
16:43What is all this reproductive technology doing for us?
16:46I mean, do we want desperate women having babies at 50?
16:50Maybe some people aren't supposed to procreate.
16:53Maybe this is the world's way of weeding out the weak, you see.
16:56If you ask me, this is a ridiculous abuse of science.
16:59You have now designer sperm and these simulated wombs.
17:04Here's a good idea.
17:05Why don't we just eliminate men altogether?
17:08Hey!
17:09I don't need to be lectured about science by a man who's doing crop rotation on his forehead.
17:13Miranda went off the hormones.
17:15Not because of what Joseph said, but because she was only 33.
17:19She still had her left ovary, and she wasn't ready to settle out of court.
17:24Maybe someday there would be eggs in her freezer.
17:26But not yet.
17:31Meanwhile, Charlotte decided to stop trying to figure out her creature of mystery, and just enjoy.
17:37Cher?
17:39I love her.
17:40She's such a survivor.
17:48Wait.
17:51I have to ask you something.
17:56Have you ever been with a man?
18:00No.
18:01Have you ever been with a woman?
18:03I'm sorry, it's just...
18:07Betty Buckley and...
18:09Martha Stewart and...
18:10And Cynthia Rowley.
18:13Aren't you gay?
18:17Charlotte.
18:19I'm a 35-year-old pastry chef who lives in Chelsea.
18:23If I were gay...
18:25If I were gay, I would be gay.
18:29You're the one who doesn't want to make love.
18:33I wouldn't be so sure about that.
18:45Charlotte was relieved and delighted to discover Stefan was definitely straight.
18:50Or at least a gay straight man.
18:52Frankly, after two orgasms, who the hell cares?
19:00The next morning, it dawned on Samantha that her desire for revenge was not as strong as her desire for
19:05Dominic.
19:08You're awake.
19:10Yes.
19:12Yes.
19:13You're so incredibly beautiful.
19:20God.
19:21I'm gonna miss you.
19:23What do you mean?
19:25Anka and I are giving it another shot.
19:28It's mostly financial.
19:31You can't do this to me.
19:33I know.
19:34I'm sorry.
19:35No.
19:36No, no, no, no, no.
19:38I'm supposed to do this to you.
19:40I had a plan.
19:41This is all wrong.
19:42I should go.
19:44Get out.
19:45I said I was going.
19:48Stop beating me to the punch!
19:50As she watched history repeat itself,
19:53Samantha realized she couldn't do what Dominic did
19:55because she hadn't evolved past having feelings.
19:59And in a way, that was nice to know.
20:08Good morning.
20:09Good morning, Sleepy.
20:11Mmm, something smells amazing.
20:13It's warm cranberry buttermilk scones.
20:15Mmm.
20:16And lemon curd.
20:17If I continue dating you, I'm gonna gain ten pounds.
20:20You'll still be gorgeous.
20:23Mmm.
20:26You want some tea?
20:27Yes, please.
20:29What is that noise?
20:31What noise?
20:32It's kind of, it's like a squeaking.
20:38Oh, my God.
20:39Oh, my God.
20:40It's a mess.
20:41Are you sure?
20:42It's in that glue trap.
20:43Where?
20:44There.
20:44Oh, ew.
20:45Ew.
20:45Ow!
20:46Oh, my God!
20:46Your legs are stuck.
20:48Ew.
20:49Ew.
20:49Do something.
20:50Don't kick it to me.
20:51Get it out.
20:52Get it out.
20:53Get it out.
20:53Get it out.
20:54Oh, we don't do something.
20:55Get it out.
20:56Ow.
20:56Get it out.
20:56Get it away, get it away.
21:01Ew.
21:03Oh, my God.
21:04Oh, my God.
21:04Oh, my God.
21:05Oh, my God.
21:06Oh, my God.
21:06At that moment, Charlotte realized her masculine side wasn't evolved enough for a man whose feminine
21:11side was as highly evolved as Stefan's.
21:16And I spent the night at Biggs for the first time since my stuff was kicked out of the nest
21:32Oh, God
21:33Where are you going?
21:36Home
21:37No, nope
21:40That's where my hair dryer is
21:46I have to dry my hair
21:48I'm wearing it straight in case you didn't notice
21:50I noticed
21:53But I think it looks pretty amazing right now
22:03Hey, bring that gorgeous ass back into bed
22:07I just have to make sure I didn't leave anything else
22:20And suddenly I realized
22:21I didn't have to worry about leaving something behind
22:24Because I was there
22:34Okay
22:36I'll stay a little longer
22:38But I'm leaving this underwear here
22:41Is it clean?
22:52Okay
22:53It was a small step for mankind
22:54But it was a really big step for Big
23:03New York City restaurants are always looking for the next new angle to grab that elusive and somewhat jaded Manhattan
23:09palette
23:10Last year it was Fusion Cajun
23:12Last month it was Muscles from Brussels
23:14And tonight
23:15It's S&M
23:17Samantha's PR firm was hired to do the opening party for La Deleur Exquise
23:22Translation, The Exquisite Pain
23:24Of course, we were all invited
23:25See, this is what happens when the mayor shuts down the sex shops
23:28Pops up in your cuisine
23:31Hey, Sanford
23:33Well, I know where I'm taking Mother for dinner the next time she's in town
23:36Oh, honey
23:37Excuse me
23:39Let us throw
23:41Honey
23:42Hi, what are you wearing?
23:44The invitation said kinky
23:45Actually, my hair
23:47The ladies are inside
23:48Go, have fun
23:50Next
23:54Excuse me, but when did wild sex come back in style?
23:57Oh, I think that was the weekend you spent at the Barney's Warehouse sale
24:00Three Cosmopolitans, a Diet Coke, and a vodka martini with a twist
24:05I said all of them
24:08Bad waiter, bad waiter
24:09What do you tip for that?
24:11Anyone else want to laugh?
24:14How does he wait on tables dressed like that? It's humiliating
24:18Well, the summer I worked at Howard Johnson's, I had to wear an orange hat
24:21Don't be so judgmental
24:22This is just a sexual expression
24:24All these people have jobs and pay their bills
24:26They're just having fun with fetishes
24:29I wonder what your fetish is
24:32Charlotte has a thing for Crabtree and Evelyn Foukri
24:35We don't have a fetish
24:36Oh, we all have a fetish
24:38The difference between us and them is
24:40They're putting it out there where everyone can see
24:42I think it's healthy
24:43And fabulous
24:44Well, it's lovely to see you all
24:47And remember, ladies
24:50Whipping on the first date is considered forward
24:51You sit your ass down, mistress Carrie
24:53There are drinks present
24:54No can do
24:56Big's flying to Paris tomorrow for business
24:57And I want to say goodbye
24:58Oh, why not give him a goodbye?
25:00I'll never forget
25:02Sacre bleu
25:03Go get him, girl
25:05Well, laugh, it's a joke
25:13Oh
25:15Whoa, wait, wait
25:17Not so fast
25:18Let me see
25:23Oh, baby
25:28Oh, baby
25:29Oh, baby
25:44I wasn't sure if it was the cap, the crop, or me
25:46But it worked
25:48Meanwhile, at a fetish across town
25:50Stanford Blatch had a secret sex life
25:53A very active secret sex life on the internet
25:56As Rick Nine Plus
25:57It all started innocently enough
25:59As a goof on a lonely Friday night
26:01But pretty soon he was logging in hours and hours
26:04On his favorite website
26:05It was a comfort to know
26:06That others shared his underwear fetish
26:08Sometimes as many as 2,000 hits a day
26:11No sooner had Rick Nine Plus
26:13Entered the chat room
26:14That he got a message
26:15From his favorite on-screen pal
26:17Big Tool for You
26:19Some fetishes can only flourish
26:21Behind closed doors
26:22In the very late night hours on a laptop
26:27While others are right out
26:28In the broad daylight
26:29Where everyone can see them
26:32Charlotte, like every other normal woman in Manhattan
26:35Had a thing for shoes
26:40Good morning
26:41Good morning
26:44Beautiful shoes
26:45Just got those here
26:46Would you like to try them on?
26:48No
26:48No, I'm just looking
26:50I have way too many shoes as it is
26:53Size 7
26:57Size 7
26:58Size 7
27:01Oh, you are bad
27:04Okay, I'm just trying them on
27:07I can't even afford them
27:09I'm saving for a summer share on the Hamptons
27:12Beautiful
27:13Look at that grass and shit
27:16Oh, I love them
27:17Oh, I love them
27:19How much?
27:20400
27:20No, I can't
27:23Please take it off before I start to cry
27:26200
27:28Why?
27:28She was meant to be loved
27:29And you're going to need a beautiful sandal like that in the Hamptons
27:32Oh, thank you so much
27:36Buster
27:36Thank you, Buster
27:39While one woman was uptown eyeing her artful new sandal
27:42Another was downtown eyeing art of scandal
27:45The life and times of Isabella Stewart Gardner
27:48Miranda was obsessed with reading historical biographies
27:51In fact, she spent all last weekend in bed with Philip of Spain
27:56Morning
27:57Oh
27:59That's very good
28:00Crazy Horse and Custer
28:01The Parallel Lives of Two American Warriors
28:03Stephen Ambrose
28:04Great writer
28:05Yeah, I know
28:07I just finished his
28:08Meriwether Lewis and Thomas Jefferson
28:10Undaunted Courage
28:12Amazing
28:13Oh
28:14I'll pick that up right after I finish FDR
28:16The New York Years
28:19Jack
28:21Miranda
28:22And right after Miranda picked up
28:24Elizabeth the First by Jasper Riley
28:26Jack picked up Miranda
28:29Big and I stayed in bed all morning
28:31Which gave us just enough time for coffee
28:33And some last minute details
28:35I'm going to miss you
28:36Well
28:36In a week I'll be back
28:38And you can sit there and watch as I unpack
28:46There
28:46I helped
28:49Hey
28:52Oh
28:52Before I forget
28:54Charlotte
28:54Charlotte wants to do a share in the Hamptons
28:56So are we thinking about doing something
28:57Or should I go in on that?
28:58I don't think I can
28:59Why?
29:00Not a big fan of the $40 crab salad?
29:03Actually, there's a possibility
29:04I'm not going to be here this summer
29:07I may have to move to Paris
29:10For work
29:10Just for a while
29:12For how long a while?
29:14I don't know
29:15Seven months
29:16Maybe a year
29:17Nothing's definite
29:17Wait
29:19Wait
29:20Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
29:21Wait
29:23How long have you known about this?
29:25It's been in the works for a while
29:26I'll know more details after this trip
29:29Well
29:29When did you plan on telling me?
29:32When I knew more
29:33Nothing's definite
29:34I mean, don't get carried away
29:38There's the car
29:38Look
29:39I have to go
29:40I'm going to miss the plane
29:42We'll figure this all out
29:43When I get back
29:46I wanted to kill him
29:47And he's standing there
29:49Giving me the
29:49What's the big problem eyes?
29:51You know, I don't understand you
29:52Like it's my problem
29:53Okay, just calm down
29:54There are ways to make this work
29:55It's just seven months
29:56And you can go visit him in Paris
29:57And he can come back here
29:58No, it's not about that
29:59It's about the fact
30:00That I wasn't even a factor
30:01In his decision-making process
30:03Totally
30:03Men do this all the time
30:05Women walk around thinking we
30:07And their version of we
30:08Is me and my dick
30:10Totally
30:10I mean, just tell me
30:11What's going on?
30:12Is that too much to ask?
30:13Um, Carrie
30:14I'm thinking about going to France
30:15For the rest of my life
30:17Am I right?
30:18Totally
30:18You know, one minute he's all over me
30:20And the next minute he's pushing me away
30:21And I just
30:22I just cannot believe this is happening
30:24Again
30:25Yes, all right
30:26Calm down
30:27There'll be no breaking of things
30:28Why do I
30:30Keep doing this to myself?
30:33I must be a masochist or something
30:35That's when I first realized it
30:38I was in an S&M relationship with Mr. Big
30:41Excuse me
30:42In love relationships
30:44There is a fine line between pleasure and pain
30:47In fact, it's a common belief
30:48That a relationship without pain
30:50Is a relationship not worth having
30:51To some, pain implies growth
30:54But how do we know when the growing pains stop
30:57And the pain pains take over?
30:59Are we masochists or optimists
31:01If we continue to walk that fine line
31:03When it comes to relationships
31:05How do you know when enough is enough?
31:10When you read the complete war memoirs of Charles de Gaulle
31:13Get back to me
31:14On Tuesday night, Miranda and Jack had dinner
31:17In the biography of her life
31:19This would go down as the best first date in history
31:23This is kind of what I wanted to show you
31:25Oh
31:26Yeah, um
31:28Mark Twain lived here
31:30Right around the time he wrote Huck Finn
31:33Really?
31:34Yeah
31:35Come on
31:38It's probably a proper name
31:39I know
31:41I'm going to show you his little house
31:45Right there, number 27
31:48It's cute
31:50Yeah
32:02And just when Miranda thought she could read Jack perfectly
32:05He opened an entire new chapter
32:08No, no
32:10Someone might come by
32:11We could get caught
32:13I know
32:16A chapter entitled
32:17I like to have sex in places I can get caught
32:22With my one man out of town in Paris
32:24I found time to have drinks with my other man
32:27I need your advice
32:28But in order to get it
32:29I have to confess something
32:31And I'm asking you not to judge me
32:33Who am I to judge anyone?
32:34I had bangs in the 80s
32:35Okay
32:37I have cybersex on the internet
32:40And this would be the non-judgment part?
32:42My name is Rick 9 Plus
32:45No, you didn't
32:47Rick 9 Plus
32:49How sad is that?
32:50Actually, I think it shows a great deal of restraint
32:52You could have been Rick 11
32:54So
32:55I've been chatting with this guy
32:56And we have a really great time
32:58But now he wants to meet
33:00And I don't know if I should
33:02Okay
33:03Let's figure this out
33:05What do you know about him?
33:06His name is Big Tool for you
33:11Come on, Carrie
33:12This is serious
33:15I'm sorry
33:16I'm sorry, Rick
33:21Okay
33:22Where does he want to meet you?
33:24At an after-hours gay club
33:26In the meatpacking district
33:28Makes sense
33:29Now tell me why you want to go
33:30He seems hot
33:31It's exciting
33:33And I haven't had good sex
33:35Since before Cats was on Broadway
33:36I say go
33:38Have a naughty little adventure
33:39Be safe
33:40Have fun
33:41What if he disses me?
33:42He said he's really great looking
33:45And has a really ripped body
33:46Well, Stanford
33:47Are you Rick 9 Plus?
33:50I'm so getting your point
33:54After Rick 9 Plus went home
33:56I decided I was just drunk enough
33:59To call Big
34:02Hello?
34:03Hey, it's me
34:04What are you doing?
34:06I'm in bed
34:07I think it's called sleeping
34:09Oh, so you're funny in France
34:14It's 5.30 in the morning
34:18What is it?
34:19I would like to know
34:20How you could even think of going to Paris
34:23And not even think about discussing it with me
34:26Huh?
34:28I think about you all the time
34:30What's he doing?
34:31What's he thinking?
34:32But you know
34:34When were you planning to tell me?
34:36Are you still there?
34:40Yes
34:40Okay, well, because
34:41I think about you all the time
34:43No, no
34:44Correction
34:44Correction
34:45I think about us
34:46All the time
34:47Can we get into this another time?
34:50I was sleeping
34:51Oh, look, look, look
34:51It's never a good time for you
34:52You're always sleeping
34:53Or you're ready
34:54Or you're going, going, going
34:55You're always going
34:56On your fucking taxi
34:57And then you're on a plane to France
34:59For maybe a year
34:59Or you're a freaking old man
35:01You should be thinking about somebody else
35:03This is not fake us
35:05This is real
35:06Even if you don't know it
35:07It is
35:08I am a woman
35:10A one man
35:14Have another cocktail, woman
35:16No, no, no
35:17This isn't about cocktails
35:18This is about basic human decency
35:20This is about taking responsibility
35:22It's about being a grown-up
35:23It's about being a man
35:25I am a man
35:27I'm a tired man
35:29It's 5.30 in the morning here
35:31Well, you know what
35:32You better get used to it
35:33Because if you move there
35:34This is how our relationship is going to be
35:36You're going to be sleeping when I'm meeting
35:37And I'm going to be sleeping when
35:39Shit
35:41Shit
35:44Hey, are you still there?
35:47I'm going to bed
35:48I have an important meeting at nine
35:50Yeah, fine, hang up
35:52But don't call me when I'm sleeping
35:53Because I have a job here, too, you know
35:59Even through my cosmopolitan haze
36:02I knew I had gone too far
36:05Take off your panties
36:07What?
36:09I want to give you head
36:11In the cab?
36:13You're not serious
36:14Yes, the driver is right there
36:35Yes, take 9th Avenue
36:38A few days later, on the way home
36:40Charlotte couldn't help but notice
36:42A gorgeous pair of Italian slingbacks in the window
36:45I just came in to look
36:46You have a very high arch
36:48Are you a dancer?
36:50No
36:51Such well-formed feet
36:54Well, I was in Miss Debbie's twirlers
36:57When I was a little girl
37:03Oh, they are so beautiful
37:05For anyone else, 500
37:09For you, free
37:12What?
37:13No, Buster
37:14Why would you do something like that?
37:16Because these beautiful feet are tired
37:19And they need a little rub
37:25When a shoe fetish meets a foot fetish
37:27All reason goes out the shop window
37:37I am way overreacting to this whole France situation
37:41I think Charlotte's right
37:42There are ways to work this out
37:44What made you change your mind?
37:45Well, I completely lost my shit to big on the phone
37:48And I realized how close this whole thing is
37:50To really blowing up
37:51And, you know what?
37:52Yes, it's painful sometimes
37:53But it's worth it
37:55You know?
37:55I mean, the guy has to
38:06Paris, and I'm fucking in the back of a cab
38:08That's lovely
38:09And that's just there
38:10We've done it in the bathroom at Bond Street
38:13Ew, I just ate there
38:14The elevator at the Marriott Marquis
38:16And a public restroom in Central Park
38:18How very George Michael of you
38:20We've actually never done it lying down
38:22Or inside, for that matter
38:24Miranda, this is supposed to be a relationship
38:26Not outward bound
38:27You've got to get this guy in the bedroom
38:28And find out what's really there
38:30I'm a little afraid to try
38:31He likes the threat of getting caught
38:33What if being with just me isn't enough?
38:35Excuse me, Miss Charlotte
38:36What is happening south of your ankles?
38:39Oh, they're new
38:40Do you like them?
38:41I love them
38:42Five hundred?
38:43Oh, no, not that much
38:45The guy just kind of gave me a deal
38:47How much?
38:48Um, free
38:51Why?
38:51And where is he?
38:53Well, he just, he really wanted me to have them
38:55I mean, he just really loves it when people love shoes
38:58Sweetie, this is New York City
39:00Nobody loves anything that much
39:03Well, I let him hold my feet
39:05Just a little
39:06The second she said it out loud
39:08She knew what she had to do
39:15Hello again
39:16I can't keep these shoes you gave me
39:19Why?
39:20You know why
39:27You've already worn them
39:28I can't take them back
39:29Keep up
39:29No, thank you
39:31Then I'll throw them in the garbage
39:33No, no, no, they're too beautiful
39:36I'd buy them, but I can't afford it
39:38What about a trade?
39:41Six new styles just came in
39:43I've never seen them out of foot
39:45Charlotte looked down at the exquisite shoes
39:47The smell of leather was intoxicating
39:50And all I have to do is try the shoes on?
39:56Charlotte felt like Cinderella
40:12Cinderella in a dirty, kinky, freaked-out storybook parallel universe
40:28Big arrived on the 9 p.m. flight
40:30I was at his door by 10 to welcome him home in style
40:33Bonjour
40:33Voilà le frenchade, voilà le french fry
40:39And it doesn't stop there
40:40I have le Big Mac
40:42And the filet de fish
40:55What is all this?
40:57It's an apology
40:58For being la bitch
40:59Now, I've been thinking about this
41:01We can make this work
41:02We can, you know, we'll do la fonce
41:11That would be great
41:12Which one?
41:14I don't care
41:16But you'd be moving to Paris for yourself, right?
41:19I mean, don't move
41:20For me
41:21Well, why would I move to Paris if it wasn't for you?
41:24I'm just saying
41:25I don't want you to uproot your life and expect anything
41:31I am such an idiot!
41:33What the fuck?
41:34I'm running around town in a beret
41:36Buying your greasy food
41:37And you don't even care if I'm in your life
41:40Would you calm down?
41:41No, you know what?
41:42I am so tired of calming down
41:45Look
41:46I have to be in a relationship
41:47Where if I have to go to Paris
41:50I have to go to Paris
41:51Fine
41:52Go to Paris
41:53And then what happens to us next year
41:55When you decide you just have to go to Brazil
41:58This isn't about us
41:59This is about work
42:01No, this isn't about work
42:03This is about us getting closer
42:05And you getting so freaked out
42:15Why is it so hard
42:19For you to factor me into your life
42:22In any real way?
42:28I guess old habits die hard
42:30Well, maybe I can't do this anymore
42:33I understand
42:37Yeah, I bet you do
42:41You said you loved me
42:44I do
42:45And why does it hurt so fucking much?
42:50On the way home
42:51I was furious
42:52Not with Big
42:53With myself
42:54I was the real sadist
42:56He might be the one with the whip
42:58But I was the one
42:58Who tied myself up
43:00Tied myself to a man
43:02Who was terrified
43:03Of being tied down
43:09And downtown
43:10In the meatpacking district
43:11Another terrified man
43:13Was preparing to face his fears
43:17Take him off
43:19Excuse me?
43:25Stanford panicked
43:26He hadn't been seen in his underwear
43:28By a room full of men
43:29Since 7th grade gym class
43:30What's it gonna be, pal?
43:31Interrupt
43:41So, Rick 9 plus undressed
43:43It would have been rude
43:45To stand up big tool for you
43:48To her surprise
43:49Miranda had no trouble
43:50Getting Jack to agree
43:51To make love in his bedroom that night
43:57Let's do it in bed
43:58Suddenly, her fear of his fetish ended
44:01Miranda realized
44:02That Jack's excitement
44:03Wasn't about getting caught
44:04It was about her
44:05And she really began
44:07To let loose
44:07Something she'd been
44:08Unable to do outside
44:13Is everything alright?
44:15Who is that?
44:17It's my mother
44:18My parents are visiting
44:22It's not like they're coming in here
44:23Are they coming in here?
44:45At first Stanford thought he'd be shunned for lack of the popular six-pack abs
44:49But then
45:01Never seen that kind before
45:04They're French
45:06I bought them in Paris
45:08Turn around
45:14Stanford
45:15Stanford Glatch had never felt more special
45:22Nice
45:26Big tool for you?
45:28Excuse me?
45:30Another beer for you?
45:32Yeah
45:35I'll buy
45:44Stanford learned that sometimes a brief encounter can be quite fulfilling
45:51I went to bed at one
45:53I was still wide awake at 2.30
46:08There were no words left
46:10We'd said them all
46:27After we made love
46:28I knew it was over
46:30Did I ever really love Big?
46:31Or was I addicted to the pain?
46:33The exquisite pain
46:35Of wanting someone so unattainable
46:40Hey
46:42What are you doing over there?
46:46Go to Paris
46:48I'm not gonna come
46:52Let's not pretend we're something we're not
46:56It's okay
46:59Come to bed
47:01I wanted to go to him
47:03But I felt like I was tied to the chair
47:05Some part of me was holding me back
47:07Knowing I had gone too far
47:09Reached my limit
47:26He was called me
47:27He was fed
47:27He said he was lo值
47:31What?
47:34You were supposed to be
47:35He was LOOKING
47:36He's Dused
47:36You didn't have any
47:36He died
47:36Like Server
47:36He saw it
47:36He did
47:36Yeah
47:38He was killed
47:38He was killed
47:39I did
47:45And just like that, I had untied myself for Mr. Big.
47:49I was free, but there was nothing exquisite about it.