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00:00They say that the women in New York are the most beautiful women in the world.
00:09Which explains why men in New York spend all their time looking at them.
00:13The city is a veritable playground for men's roving eyes.
00:17Unfortunately, they need both of them looking straight ahead to survive.
00:23This New York woman was pretty happy.
00:25I was seen big again.
00:27Unfortunately, my New York guy...
00:40...and it's part of their genetic code, like farting.
00:42Oh, please, you're going to put me off my pretzel.
00:44You have to take big the way he is.
00:46Once you start to try to change a man, it's doomed.
00:48They won't budge an inch.
00:49Well, I know, but you can subtly manipulate and cajole.
00:52The only things you can work with are hair and wardrobe, and even then, it's a constant battle.
00:56I already like the hair and wardrobe.
00:57Then be happy.
00:58Hey, honey, no man is perfect.
01:00I'm not asking for perfection.
01:01I'm just looking for, um, slight alterations.
01:04Now, be careful with alterations.
01:06If you pull the wrong thread, everything falls apart.
01:09While Samantha and I discussed the theory of change, Miranda was going through it for real.
01:13She had a new apartment, a new boyfriend, and a new dating schedule that was killing her.
01:25Hey, I'm sorry.
01:27I thought we'd be closing the bar earlier.
01:30Aw, jeez, you want to sleep?
01:32No, no, I'm not.
01:33Hi.
01:34Mwah.
01:35Come on.
01:37Ow!
01:38Ow!
01:38Come here, come here.
01:39You okay?
01:40Let's see.
01:42Ow!
01:43Ow!
01:45Is that better?
01:47That's better, thank you.
01:49So how was your night?
01:52I don't know.
01:53I was asleep.
01:55I'm sorry I was late.
02:01I thought we were going to close the bar around two.
02:03Then we got this big group of Japanese bankers came in, and all they want is these big flaming
02:07drinks.
02:08Then one of them got sick, and then...
02:18Never mind.
02:20Everything was great about Steve, except for one thing.
02:27Morning.
02:30Morning.
02:32Come here.
02:33Come here, come here, come here, come here.
02:35They had completely opposite schedules.
02:38Steve had all the time in the world in the mornings.
02:40Miranda got right up at seven.
02:42Unfortunately, Steve did, too.
02:43I have to go to work.
02:45Not yet.
02:46The only thing Miranda liked inside her in the mornings was the cup of takeout coffee
02:50she drank on the way to the subway.
02:52That night, in a bed across town, Charlotte was seeing a lot of Mike, a cute but feared
02:57restaurant critic, famous for his patented five-whisk rating system.
03:01Mike?
03:02Yeah?
03:04Let's make love.
03:06Charlotte, you are a five-whisk woman.
03:09But just when Charlotte had become comfortable with the penis, she got a very unexpected surprise.
03:16Uncircumcised.
03:18You're...
03:20It's...
03:21Uncircumcised.
03:22Is that okay?
03:23No.
03:25Sure.
03:27Of course it is.
03:29It was not okay.
03:31The only uncut version of anything Charlotte had ever seen was the original Gone with the Wind.
03:36There was so much skin, it was like a Sharpay.
03:39You've never seen an uncircumcised one?
03:41I'm from Connecticut.
03:42Reminder, you're dating the guy, not the penis.
03:45Aesthetics are important to me.
03:46It's not what it looks like, it's what they can do with it.
03:49Well, I don't need one that can make its own carrying case.
03:53Personally, I love an uncircumcised dick.
03:56It's like a Tootsie Pop.
03:57Hard on the outside, with a delicious surprise inside.
04:01I don't like surprises.
04:02I like it all out there where I can see it.
04:04Same here.
04:05I'm sorry, it is not normal.
04:07Well, actually it is.
04:07Something like 85% of men aren't circumcised.
04:10Great, now they're taking over the world.
04:11Honey, it's a penis, not Godzilla.
04:13Hey, if 85% aren't circumcised, that means I've only slept with 15% of the population tops.
04:19Wow, you're practically a virgin.
04:21You know, he's a nice waspy guy.
04:23What went wrong?
04:24Well, maybe his parents were hippies and just didn't believe in it.
04:26I am so circumcising my kids.
04:29I think you can pay people to do that now.
04:31I don't ever want to know there's a woman out there calling my son a sharp hay.
04:35All I'm saying is uncut men are the best.
04:38They try harder.
04:39I should know.
04:40I've slept with five of them.
04:42Out of how many?
04:43Infinity.
04:45That night, Big and I went out to celebrate absolutely nothing.
04:50More grappa?
04:52No, thank ya.
04:55Oh, listen, my editor called me today and she's...
05:01You were saying?
05:02Yes, I was.
05:05Excuse me, you can't smoke that in here.
05:08Really?
05:09You're absolutely positively sure about that?
05:12Because I checked the zoning on this particular table,
05:15and I'm pretty sure this table's in a cigar-friendly zone.
05:17Well, I don't mind, but it's for the other patrons.
05:22You mean if those five patrons don't mind, it's okay with you?
05:26Sir, I'm gonna have to...
05:27Just one second.
05:30Excuse me, this is my last day on earth.
05:32I'm being executed tomorrow morning.
05:35That's my parole officer there.
05:37Would you mind terribly if I smoked this, ladies?
05:39No.
05:43Excuse me, I'm sorry.
05:44Would it be okay if I smoked this?
05:46And please, let me preface this by saying,
05:48I'd like to buy everybody a round of drinks.
05:54Apparently, the other patrons aren't bothered at all.
05:57I didn't have the guts to tell Big
05:58that he was actually kind of bothering me.
06:00Well, it's not like they're gonna tell you the truth.
06:02No one's gonna say to your face that they hate your cigar.
06:05Good.
06:06You are very arrogant.
06:11I thought that's what you liked about me.
06:14Maybe Big was right.
06:16Maybe we were at that inevitable point in the relationship
06:18when all those little things you loved about the other person
06:20had become huge liabilities.
06:23And just then,
06:25a huge liability walked by.
06:29Hey!
06:31What?
06:32I...
06:33I...
06:35I hate that cigar.
06:41And you told me right to my face.
06:47New York City is all about change.
06:50New Yorkers change their haircuts,
06:52their politics,
06:52even their friends in the blink of an eye.
06:54If change was so easy,
06:56why was it so hard for Big?
06:58Was I banging my head against the wall
07:00thinking I could get him to stop and notice me?
07:02Did I have to change my expectations,
07:04or was it possible?
07:07Can you change a man?
07:09My husband used to be obsessed with watching sports 24 hours a day.
07:13Then I thought of fooling around with his best friend.
07:15Now he's obsessed with watching me.
07:18Every girlfriend I've had wants me to change something.
07:20Change your job, change your friends, change your attitude.
07:23The only thing I ever change is girlfriends.
07:29No.
07:31Meanwhile, Charlotte was about to discover that some men can change.
07:34Thanks for dinner.
07:35It was great.
07:41So, can I come upstairs with you?
07:43Oh, geez.
07:45I have to get up really early,
07:46and my place is just a mess.
07:47Look, Charlotte, I understand.
07:50You do?
07:50Yeah, I mean,
07:52what happened the other night,
07:53you're not the first woman to react to it that way.
07:56I've gotten that most of my life.
07:57Really?
07:58Yeah, and I've decided to do something about it.
08:01I've been uncomfortable for too long,
08:02so I'm getting circumcised.
08:09Can you do that?
08:11Well, yeah, I mean,
08:12it hurts and it takes a long time to heal,
08:14but I'm willing to do that.
08:16I want to feel good about making love.
08:18That is so sweet.
08:22Do you mind waiting?
08:23Oh, no.
08:23Not at all.
08:35Apparently, Samantha was wrong.
08:37Some men could budge an inch.
08:39In Mike's case,
08:40it may have been more like
08:41an inch and a half.
08:44The next morning,
08:45Miranda was getting her usual wake-up call.
08:56Hey, where are you going?
08:59I'm getting up.
09:00Oh, come on.
09:01It's Saturday.
09:01Come on.
09:01Lay down.
09:02Sit down.
09:03Come on.
09:07How long are we going to do this?
09:11You want a time frame for cuddling?
09:14Yeah.
09:14Like 20 minutes?
09:1630?
09:18You're kidding me.
09:19It helps if I have an end point in mind.
09:22I respond well to limits.
09:24That's your problem.
09:25You got too many limits.
09:26You got to let go a little, Miranda.
09:28Look.
09:29Saturday is my free day, right?
09:31I have spinning,
09:32and then I get my dry cleaning,
09:33and I have my nails done,
09:34and I do my grocery shopping for the week.
09:36Okay?
09:37Okay.
09:37You're not sounding very free to me.
09:43Do you want to come with me
09:44and get my dry cleaning?
09:45No.
09:46I didn't think so.
09:53An hour and a half tops.
09:5612 hours later,
09:58Steve went to work.
10:01About the same time,
10:02we went out to our favorite bar,
10:03which on Saturdays
10:04changes into Drag Queen Bingo.
10:07Come on, come on.
10:08N23.
10:09I really like him,
10:10but this morning thing is killing me.
10:12It's bad enough
10:13that we've never done it at night,
10:14but after we do it in the morning,
10:15he just wants to lie there with me.
10:17Everyone wants a guy
10:18who wants to cuddle.
10:20033, ladies.
10:22Shit.
10:22Well, I'm jealous.
10:24Big won't even spend the night at my place.
10:26You know,
10:26what you have is real intimacy.
10:27It's bed arrest.
10:29I've been horizontal all day,
10:30and I had errands to do.
10:31I miss spinning.
10:32You don't have to spin
10:34if you're having sex.
10:35B-12.
10:36How about N-23?
10:38I don't know why I play this.
10:39I never win.
10:40Why do I have to be the one
10:42to change my routine?
10:43Well, maybe because you really like the guy,
10:45and it wouldn't kill you
10:46to slow down a little.
10:47No, Miranda's right.
10:47Why is it the woman
10:48that always has to change
10:49and never the guy?
10:51Because we are more adaptable.
10:52I love morning sex.
10:54I haven't done morning sex
10:55since I was in college,
10:56and then it was only because
10:56I didn't have to be in class
10:57till 11.
10:58Well, maybe you guys should come up
10:59with a schedule or something.
11:00A sex schedule?
11:02Very romantic.
11:03Yeah, surprise him at the bar
11:04wearing nothing but a trench coat
11:05and a smile.
11:06Well, now that would be a happy hour.
11:0869.
11:09I just think that
11:10if you really believe
11:10in the relationship,
11:11then you should work at it.
11:12This from a woman
11:13who dumped a guy over foreskin.
11:15Actually, we're still dating.
11:17The Sharpay?
11:18He's getting circumcised.
11:22Please tell me
11:23that we're not invited to the bridge.
11:26Can I get another board?
11:27Please.
11:30Samantha?
11:31Yes?
11:31It's me.
11:33Brad.
11:35Brad Mikulski?
11:36Brad was a semi-professional hockey player
11:38Samantha had dated a few years back.
11:40Apparently, the only thing
11:41he was checking these days
11:42were his pants at the door.
11:44Look at you, Miss Thing.
11:46You look fabulous.
11:48Oh, wow.
11:49Well, so do you.
11:51When did you start dating?
11:52Oh, about five years ago.
11:54Right after you.
11:57Maybe Samantha was wrong.
11:59Apparently, she could change a man.
12:01How are the kids?
12:02Oh, good, good.
12:02Jake is in second grade.
12:03Jake has two mommies.
12:05There are other people here
12:06who need boards, Samantha.
12:08Take a chill pill, Miss Igon.
12:10Samantha?
12:12Well, imitation is the sincerest
12:15form of flattery.
12:17Gotta go.
12:18Enjoy the game.
12:20And 23.
12:22Bingo!
12:23I am so much prettier than him.
12:27Two hours later,
12:29I was supposed to meet Big
12:30at his place.
12:32Two and a half hours later,
12:34he showed up.
12:37Hey!
12:48For you!
12:49There's a coffee shop
12:50around the corner.
12:52You could have waited.
12:52In.
12:54You know what?
12:54I'm gonna go.
12:55Oh, don't be pissed.
12:56I'm pissed!
12:57Well,
12:58come upstairs.
13:00You know,
13:00if you gave me a key,
13:02I could wait upstairs next time.
13:04A key?
13:07Or you could stay
13:08at my place sometimes.
13:09It's easy to pick my locks.
13:10Yeah.
13:11But then I like my bed.
13:14Look at that service.
13:17Come on.
13:21That night,
13:22something else changed.
13:24Neither of us
13:24wanted to make love.
13:26If this was all
13:27I was ever going to get
13:28at a big,
13:29was it enough for me?
13:30And then,
13:31at 3 a.m.,
13:32somewhere between
13:32sleep and waking,
13:34I got my answer.
13:36Ah!
13:36Damn it!
13:37What?
13:37Huh?
13:38Carrie?
13:39Are you alright?
13:40No!
13:41What the fuck?
13:43Oh my God.
13:45What the hell was that?
13:46You knocked me out of bed.
13:48You didn't even know
13:49I was here.
13:49Well,
13:50I do now.
13:50Why don't you break
13:52my arm the next time?
13:53I'm sorry.
13:54Jesus!
13:56God!
13:57All right,
13:57Sugar Ray.
13:58The bed's all
13:59yours.
14:00Where are you going?
14:00I'm going to sleep
14:01on the couch.
14:02Wait, will you just
14:03let me explain?
14:03Don't talk now.
14:05Bad to talk now.
14:08But I couldn't sleep.
14:09And at 4 a.m.,
14:11I decided he couldn't
14:12sleep either.
14:20It's ice for your face.
14:23Yes,
14:24I can feel that.
14:26I can feel that.
14:28Okay,
14:29I know I've lost
14:30a little of my power here
14:31and I'm pretty sure
14:32that most women's
14:33magazines would say
14:34that what I just did
14:35was a very bad idea.
14:38But the thing is,
14:39the other night
14:40wasn't just about
14:41the cigar.
14:42It never is.
14:45I hate that you
14:46look at other women.
14:47I hate that I don't
14:48have a key to your place.
14:50You've never spent
14:50the night at my place.
14:51You can't even make
14:53space for me
14:53in your bed.
14:55And it's not your fault
14:56because I never say it.
14:58So now I punched you,
15:00so now I have to say it.
15:02So now I'm going to say it.
15:09I feel like
15:11I'm back in your life
15:13and nothing has really changed.
15:15And I know you can't
15:16change a man
15:16and you definitely
15:17can't change a man
15:18like you,
15:19but
15:21I still want
15:24something to change
15:26a little bit
15:27for me.
15:30Physical violence
15:31is never the answer.
15:33Yeah.
15:35I'm going to go.
15:39Does that hurt?
15:40Yes.
15:45Look,
15:47I'm sure there are
15:48things you don't
15:48like about me.
15:50Not falling for that one.
15:54Well,
15:55that was one thing
15:55I liked about Big.
15:57He definitely knew
15:58when to shut up.
16:01The next night,
16:02Charlotte took Mike out
16:03for a post-operative scotch.
16:05So,
16:05did it hurt?
16:07On a scale
16:08of one to five,
16:09I'd give it a
16:0972.
16:10You poor thing.
16:12That's all right.
16:13The worst is over.
16:14Now I just
16:14accept sympathy
16:16and heal.
16:17For how long?
16:18About another week
16:19or so.
16:19I can't wait.
16:21Me either.
16:23Oh God,
16:24Charlotte,
16:25you nearly turned me on.
16:30Ow, ow, ow, ow.
16:34You should go.
16:40Much later that night,
16:42bolstered by coffee,
16:43Miranda decided
16:44to perform
16:45a 2 a.m. seduction.
16:52Hello.
16:53Wow, look at you.
16:55You look great.
16:56What's the occasion?
16:57It's 2 a.m.
16:58and I am still awake.
17:00I thought we could celebrate.
17:01I've had five cups of coffee.
17:03Well, that's worth a party.
17:08Meet me in the bedroom.
17:10I'll get the wine.
17:19Hey, get up.
17:21What?
17:22I think you should spend
17:23the night at your place tonight.
17:25Why?
17:26Because I'd really like
17:28to catch up on my sleep
17:28and I really don't want
17:30to worry about
17:30having sex with you
17:31in the morning
17:32and then just lying there
17:33and being late.
17:36You don't like
17:37having sex with me?
17:38No, I do.
17:38I love it.
17:39But just once,
17:40I would like to do it at night
17:41like other normal homo sapiens.
17:43Hey, relax.
17:44We can have sex now.
17:45We can't have sex now.
17:46I had a window
17:47and it happened
17:48half an hour ago.
17:49You had a window for sex?
17:50I'm sorry.
17:51I'm a lawyer.
17:52I get tired.
17:53Yeah, well,
17:53I'm a bartender
17:54and I get awfully tired
17:55of dealing with
17:56other people's neuroses.
17:58When you get a,
18:00get, you know,
18:01a picture window
18:03or a whole doorway at times,
18:07call me.
18:11Miranda had never felt
18:13less like a successful lawyer
18:14in her life.
18:16Even though she'd won her case,
18:18she'd also been left
18:19with all the damages.
18:21A week later,
18:23Charlotte finally got her chance
18:24to break in the new merchandise.
18:28What do you think?
18:30It's perfect.
18:31It was like her birthday
18:33and Christmas rolled into one.
18:35You realize this makes me a virgin?
18:39I'll be gentle.
18:48That was really wonderful.
18:50It was.
18:51A five.
18:56So what do you want to do
18:57Saturday night?
18:58Saturday?
18:59Did we have plans?
19:01No, but I thought maybe
19:02we could go to this
19:03Drama League benefit
19:04or we could, you know,
19:07go low-key
19:07and stay in a rent video.
19:09Oh, Charlotte.
19:10Hang on.
19:11Listen,
19:12I don't think I'm ready
19:13for this to be,
19:14you know,
19:15like a big thing.
19:18A big thing?
19:20Why?
19:20I just feel like
19:21I can't be tied down right now.
19:24There's a whole new me happening.
19:25I feel like I should
19:26get out there and share it.
19:29You want to share your penis?
19:31Well,
19:33yeah.
19:35I mean,
19:36I feel like
19:36I owe it to myself
19:37to take the doggie out
19:39for a walk around the block.
19:41You know?
19:42Charlotte never saw Mike again.
19:44She realized
19:45you could take the Sharpay
19:46out of the penis,
19:47but she could never take
19:48the dog out of the man.
19:51A few days later,
19:52I realized
19:52you could change a man.
19:54You could change him
19:55into not calling you.
20:02Oh,
20:03hi.
20:05Wow,
20:06look at that.
20:07No,
20:08you look at it.
20:08I've seen it already.
20:10Sorry.
20:13Easy.
20:14No hands near the face.
20:18When?
20:20I just came over
20:21to tell you something.
20:24You're suing me,
20:25right?
20:29Look,
20:30maybe you need
20:31a key to know
20:32that I'm crazy about you.
20:34But the thing is,
20:35I've given out
20:36like five keys
20:38and you never
20:39get them back.
20:41And maybe
20:42I hog my bed,
20:44but I mean,
20:44it's my bed
20:45and,
20:47well,
20:47I like you in it.
20:50Wow,
20:50I should hit you
20:51more often.
20:52And the oranges.
20:53What?
20:53The oranges
20:54have to go.
20:55Now,
20:55this is something
20:56I don't like
20:56about you.
20:57I hate that you
20:58eat oranges
20:58in my bed.
20:59You do?
21:01They're sticky
21:02and they make
21:02the sheets stink.
21:03That's it?
21:04I like my sheets.
21:07What are you
21:07going to give me
21:08for the oranges?
21:09A negotiation.
21:10Yep.
21:12Well,
21:12this could take a while.
21:14it could.
21:18Well,
21:19it looks like
21:19I may have
21:20to spend the night.
21:21That night,
21:22for the first time,
21:24Big spent the night
21:25at my place.
21:27I realized
21:28that neither of us
21:29would ever
21:29fundamentally change,
21:31but we were
21:31talking about it.
21:32And maybe that was
21:33the biggest change
21:34of all.
21:36The next day,
21:37my sheets
21:37stunk of cigars.
21:38I changed
21:39them immediately.
21:41Across town,
21:43it was 2 a.m.,
21:44and Miranda
21:44was no closer
21:45to getting sleep.
21:52Hello?
21:57Hi.
21:59Sorry to wake you.
22:00It's okay.
22:01I was awake.
22:03Look,
22:03I don't want
22:03to bug you.
22:05Do me a favor.
22:07Go to the window.
22:12Okay.
22:14Now look up.
22:16Oh, my God.
22:19It's amazing,
22:19isn't it?
22:21It's a blue moon.
22:23It's really rare.
22:24Just wanted you
22:25to see it.
22:26It was right then
22:28that Miranda
22:29finally slowed down
22:30and gave in
22:31to Steve.
22:32Come over
22:33when you're done,
22:33okay?
22:35Yeah.
22:38Night.
22:40That night,
22:41Miranda and Steve
22:42made love.
22:44And they did it
22:45again in the morning.
22:47Miranda was an hour
22:48late for work
22:48and didn't even notice.
22:50So maybe you can't
22:51change a man,
22:52but once in a blue moon,
22:53you can change a woman.
22:56They say it's spring.
23:00They say it's spring.
23:01This feeling light
23:03as a feather.
23:04They say this thing.
23:08This magic we share together
23:11came with the weather too.
23:16Here are some things
23:17I love about New York.
23:19That week in spring
23:20when it's warm
23:21but not hot
23:22and the trees
23:22are just beginning to bloom.
23:24Men in suits.
23:26Three papers
23:27and 12 gossip columns.
23:28It's easy for me
23:29to say,
23:30I love you, New York.
23:31It's not so easy
23:32to say,
23:33I love you, Mr. Big.
23:35The first time
23:36I realized
23:36I actually loved Big
23:38was over toast
23:39and coffee one morning.
23:40What?
23:43Oh, thanks, honey.
23:51What?
23:52Other.
23:53The first time
23:54I actually felt like saying it
23:56was the night
23:56he took me to the ballet
23:57and he hates the ballet.
23:59I don't want to disappoint you,
24:01but I think a couple
24:02of those dancers
24:03had on wires.
24:04They were not on wires.
24:06Oh, yeah.
24:06On a couple of those
24:07big leaps
24:07I saw the wires.
24:10You know what?
24:12What?
24:14I love
24:15your hair like that.
24:17Cut it out.
24:22And then there was a time
24:23I never expected to say it.
24:26Last Friday night
24:27at approximately 7.20 p.m.,
24:31Big was picking me up
24:32to take me out to dinner.
24:33Hey, hi.
24:34I just have to, um,
24:35change my shoes.
24:36Well, hurry up.
24:37We don't want to be late.
24:38If we grab a cab of Madison,
24:39we can be there
24:39in five minutes.
24:44Okay.
24:47Okay.
24:48Here.
24:50Well, what's this for?
24:52Oh, I just saw it
24:53and thought of you.
25:05It was just wrong.
25:08It was wrong.
25:09I didn't know what to say
25:11except,
25:14I love you.
25:16You told Big I love you
25:17because he gave you that?
25:19What did you think it was?
25:20A large diamond duck ring?
25:21I think my mother
25:22has one of these
25:23in the shape of a squirrel.
25:24Note.
25:24I did not say
25:25I love the purse.
25:27And what did he say?
25:28Well, he just
25:29sort of reacted
25:30stunned for a moment
25:31and then he said...
25:35You're welcome.
25:36Uh, I'll just
25:37wait for you outside.
25:39Well, maybe he thought
25:40you said,
25:41I love it.
25:42No, it was a very deliberate
25:44and distinct you.
25:45So he just sort of pretended
25:47like you didn't say it?
25:48Yeah, sort of,
25:48but we both know I did.
25:50So, now I've laid down
25:51the gauntlet.
25:52He either has to say
25:52I love you back
25:53or I guess I'm gonna
25:54have to break up with him.
25:55Well, how long
25:56are you gonna give him?
25:57Well, I didn't put
25:57an expiration date
25:58on the sentiment,
25:59but I figure it's got
25:59the shelf life
26:00of a dairy product.
26:01It's gonna start to curdle
26:02in about a week.
26:02You know, it's so interesting.
26:04You can tell a man
26:05I hate you,
26:05you have the best sex
26:06of your life,
26:07but tell him I love you,
26:08you'll probably
26:09never see him again.
26:11Well, it's just very,
26:11it's very comforting
26:12right now.
26:13Wait a minute, time out.
26:15Did you ever think
26:16that at this very moment
26:17the man might be trying
26:18to find his own way
26:19to tell Carrie
26:20that he loves her?
26:22Listening to Miranda
26:23Wax optimistic about love
26:24was more disorienting
26:25than a heat wave
26:26in February.
26:27No.
26:28No.
26:29But it seemed that Miranda
26:30formerly Love's
26:31greatest skeptic
26:32had recently experienced
26:34a romantic epiphany.
26:35Go grab us a seat outside
26:36and I'll meet you out there.
26:37Will you let me pay this time?
26:39No, no, no.
26:39Your money's no good here.
26:40Go grab us a bench.
26:42All right.
26:45How much?
26:46Five-nine.
26:46Oh!
26:48She was dating a bartender
26:49who worshipped her
26:50and Miranda was so crazy
26:51about him in return
26:52that she let him
26:53take her out to dinner,
26:54but only to places
26:55she knew he could afford.
26:57Best slices in the city,
26:59don't you think?
27:03So, Saturday,
27:04my firm is having
27:05its annual dinner thing
27:07and I was wondering
27:08if you think that
27:09maybe the bar
27:10could spare you
27:11for a night.
27:11You could be my date.
27:12I warn you,
27:12it's going to be
27:13totally boring.
27:14It's not going to be boring
27:15if I'm there with you.
27:22You probably should
27:23wear a suit.
27:24Oh!
27:26There's going to be
27:27a big fancy up there.
27:30You do have a suit, right?
27:32Sure I do.
27:32It's really nice.
27:34It's gold.
27:36It's gold?
27:37Yeah, you know,
27:38um, corduroy?
27:43What's wrong with corduroy?
27:45I don't have enough time
27:46to tell you
27:47what's wrong with corduroy.
27:52For the first time,
27:53Steve took Miranda
27:54back to his place.
27:58So, this is your apartment.
28:00Yeah!
28:02You like?
28:03It's sweet.
28:05I modeled it
28:06at the De Niro's place
28:07and the taxi driver.
28:09I'm kidding!
28:11Yeah, I...
28:13It's cheap.
28:14It's near the bar
28:16and you never have
28:17to come here again.
28:31That evening,
28:32Miranda experienced
28:33her first pangs
28:34of yuppie guilt.
28:36A lot of wonderful artists
28:37worked as bartenders
28:38for years.
28:39Doesn't mean he won't
28:40be making money someday.
28:41He's not an artist
28:42slash bartender.
28:44He's just happy
28:45being a bartender.
28:46Period.
28:46No aspirations
28:47beyond shaking the cocktails
28:49and refilling the peanut bowls.
28:50How's he in bed?
28:52There are no words.
28:54Sounds like a dream
28:55relationship to me.
28:56Yeah, he can make you come
28:57and then he can make you
28:58a cosmopolitan.
29:00Honestly, I don't know
29:01how you can get serious
29:02with a guy whose entire future
29:03is based on tips.
29:04Wait a minute.
29:06Rich men date
29:07not-so-rich women
29:08all the time.
29:09I mean, come on,
29:10look at me and Big.
29:11It's not about money.
29:12It's about compatibility.
29:14Yeah, but it's normal
29:14for the guy
29:15to have more money.
29:16Oh, come on!
29:17God!
29:17I know lots of women
29:19who make more money
29:19than their husbands.
29:21You're all missing my point.
29:22None of this matters to me.
29:24I just don't want it
29:25to matter to him.
29:25It's like when single men
29:27have a lot of money
29:28it works to their advantage
29:28but when a single woman
29:29has money
29:30it's a problem
29:31you have to deal with.
29:32It's ridiculous.
29:33I want to enjoy my success
29:34not apologize for it.
29:36Bravo, honey.
29:37Bravo.
29:38But you're talking about
29:40more than a difference
29:41in income.
29:41You're talking about
29:42a difference in background
29:43and education.
29:44This guy is working class.
29:46Working class?
29:47Yeah.
29:48It's the millennium, sweetie.
29:49We don't say things
29:50like working class anymore
29:51but you're trying to pretend
29:52that we live in a classless society
29:54and we don't.
30:00Okay, Marie Antoinette
30:01we get the picture.
30:04You know she's right.
30:05I'm dating a guy right now
30:07and he's got an actual servant.
30:09What?
30:10Really?
30:10Yeah.
30:11It seems that Samantha
30:12was dating Harvey Turkle
30:14a real estate investor
30:15who had just made
30:16a killing in the market
30:17turning Chelsea sweatshops
30:19into luxury co-ops
30:20for the upwardly trendy.
30:21Sam is a fantastic cook.
30:23You won't eat better
30:24Thai food in Bangkok.
30:25More chelope noodle,
30:27Mr. Hobby?
30:28Yes, please.
30:30You like spicy
30:31like Mr. Hobby, miss?
30:33I love spicy.
30:35Enjoy.
30:37Isn't she the best?
30:39I'll tell you,
30:39I could not live without her.
30:42I wondered,
30:43was New York really
30:44any different from New Delhi?
30:46Had our class system
30:47been replaced
30:48by a caste system?
30:49And if so,
30:50can we date
30:51outside our caste?
30:53That night,
30:54Big took me out
30:55for a romantic dinner.
30:56I could smell it coming,
30:58the way you can smell
30:59a thunderstorm
30:59right before it hits.
31:00A mere two days
31:01after I had said
31:02I love you,
31:03Big had found
31:04his own way
31:05to say
31:05I love you to me.
31:07You're going to love this.
31:08It's from a small winery
31:10in the heart of Tuscany.
31:14Mmm, delicioso.
31:17I rented a villa there
31:19one summer with the ex.
31:20It was incredible.
31:24I've always wanted
31:25to go back
31:26with someone
31:26I actually liked.
31:31Listen,
31:32there's something
31:32I've been meaning
31:33to tell you
31:33ever since the night
31:34I gave you the purse.
31:38Yeah?
31:41You can take it back
31:42if you don't like.
31:43That became
31:44the first night
31:45I wanted to tell Big
31:46I hate you.
31:52The next afternoon,
31:53Charlotte made
31:54the acquaintance
31:54of a member
31:55of the very highest caste,
31:56a caste that
31:57from coast to coast
31:58rich and poor
31:59everyone deferred to
32:01and honored
32:01without question
32:02the movie star.
32:07Hi.
32:08I'm sure
32:09I'll let Yorick
32:09I'm the director
32:10of the gallery.
32:11Hi, Wiley.
32:12Ford.
32:12Yeah, I know.
32:15How much
32:16for this piece?
32:18The fire extinguisher?
32:21Oh, no, no, no.
32:23That's a real
32:24fire extinguisher.
32:25You know,
32:26like, for the gallery
32:27in case there's a fire.
32:31I guess I'm a total idiot.
32:33Oh, no, no.
32:34It happens all the time.
32:36You can have it.
32:38Take it.
32:38You can say
32:39you got it here
32:39at the gallery
32:40and people will
32:41probably think
32:42it's a Jeff Coons.
32:45You are adorable.
32:48Hey, what do you think
32:49about closing out
32:50for the rest
32:50of the afternoon?
32:55Man, Charlene,
32:57you're so hot.
32:58I can't wait
32:58to get you to bed.
33:00Um, Charlotte.
33:02My name is Charlotte.
33:03Oh, I prefer Charlotte.
33:06Okay.
33:07Okay.
33:10Oh, man,
33:11the champagne
33:11is running through me.
33:12Hey, yo, bud.
33:13Pull over.
33:14I need to take a leak.
33:19Hmm.
33:21You sit tight,
33:22beautiful.
33:22Okay.
33:24Yeah.
33:33Hello?
33:33You'll never believe
33:34where I am.
33:36I'm in the back
33:36of a limo
33:37about to go have sex
33:38with Wiley Ford.
33:39Where is he now?
33:40He's taking a leak
33:41out in the alley.
33:42Isn't that cute?
33:43Yeah, it's adorable.
33:44Now, Charlotte,
33:44listen to me.
33:45Get out of there
33:46immediately.
33:46All my rules
33:47just went right
33:48out the window.
33:49It's like he wants me
33:50and I have to obey.
33:52Oh, he's zipping up.
33:54I gotta go.
33:57Hey.
33:58Hey.
34:00Oh, God.
34:00Oh, God.
34:03Mmm.
34:04While Charlotte
34:05began to enjoy
34:06the perks of celebrity,
34:07Samantha discovered
34:08that Harvey Turkle
34:09came with some nice
34:10perks of his own.
34:12You stay in bed
34:13as long as you want
34:14and some
34:15will make you breakfast.
34:16Oh, that's really
34:17not necessary.
34:17Wait, no, no, no.
34:18Whoa, whoa, whoa.
34:18Wait, wait, wait.
34:19Please.
34:20She loves it.
34:21Do you like fresh
34:22orange or grapefruit?
34:23Hmm.
34:24Orange.
34:25Orange.
34:25Eggs.
34:26Coddled.
34:27Come right up.
34:33I'll call you.
34:35While Samantha
34:36didn't believe
34:36in having servants,
34:38she realized
34:38she had no problem
34:39dating a man who did.
34:41She knew it might
34:41take some adjusting,
34:42but she could get
34:43used to this.
34:46Hi, Sam.
34:47Now take good care
34:48of Samantha.
34:50Bye-bye,
34:51Mr. Harvey.
34:52Bye-bye.
34:59Okay, lazy boss.
35:01Out of bed.
35:02Excuse me?
35:03I must wash sheets.
35:05Okay.
35:05Should I have my
35:06breakfast in the
35:07dining room or...
35:08Breakfast?
35:08I got no time
35:09to make breakfast.
35:11I got a lot of work
35:11to do around here.
35:14Oh, my boy.
35:15Don't go to
35:16hot, child.
35:16It was then
35:17that Samantha
35:18realized that
35:18some was not
35:19so servile
35:20after all.
35:21That afternoon,
35:22during her lunch break,
35:23Miranda took
35:24Steve shopping.
35:25You're welcome.
35:26What do you think?
35:28I think it's kind of
35:29frightening how good
35:30I look.
35:30It's a beautiful suit.
35:32I think we should
35:33take it.
35:34Could you do a cuff
35:35with a nice little break?
35:36Will these be the shoes?
35:37I think we should
35:38take the shoes.
35:40What do you think
35:40we should take the shoes?
35:42I guess we're
35:42taking the shoes.
35:46Uh-huh, yeah.
35:47Just like that.
35:49Jesus.
35:50$1,800 bucks.
35:52I guess I better
35:53not spill anything.
35:56Don't worry.
35:57It's my treat.
35:59What?
36:00I invited you
36:01to this thing.
36:01I want to pay
36:01for the suit.
36:02No way.
36:03You're not
36:03buying me a suit.
36:10But I wanted
36:10to do this for you.
36:13Then I started
36:14to think of you
36:14like my mother
36:15and that can
36:15get a little weird
36:16for me.
36:18Sorry, sir.
36:19It was declined.
36:20Would you like
36:20to try another one?
36:21Why don't you
36:21try one of mine?
36:22No, no, no.
36:23How about this?
36:25Let's try $800
36:25on the card.
36:26I'll write you
36:26a check for $1,000
36:27and I'll give you
36:28the rest in cash.
36:29Steve, forget it.
36:30It's too expensive.
36:30No, would you
36:31just let me buy
36:32the fucking suit?
36:39That Saturday,
36:40Big took me
36:41to a cocktail party
36:42at the home
36:42of Serena Bush.
36:46Careful!
36:47White rugs.
36:49An Upper East Side
36:50hostess famous
36:50for her husband's money
36:51and a close personal
36:52friendship with Tina Brown.
36:54I used to know her
36:55ten years ago
36:55when she was famous
36:56for her father's money
36:57and a close personal
36:58friendship with her
36:59drug dealer.
37:00Oh, God,
37:01I hate Park Avenue.
37:02It's like being
37:03in a foreign country.
37:04Just think of me
37:05as your passport, baby.
37:07As we walked
37:08through the room
37:08of women clutching
37:09their bejeweled
37:10swan, kitten,
37:11and asparagus purses,
37:12I realized,
37:14to my horror,
37:15that not only
37:15did Big not love me,
37:17he had absolutely
37:18no idea who I was.
37:20Can I get you a drink?
37:21Oh, yeah,
37:21take rain tonic.
37:22Carrie, a drink?
37:24Oh, um,
37:25uh, red wine, please.
37:27I'm sorry,
37:28Ms. Bush doesn't serve
37:28any brown food or drink.
37:31Can I get you
37:31something clear?
37:34Uh, yeah,
37:36uh, vodka on the rocks.
37:40No brown food?
37:42I think we've just
37:43encountered a mutant
37:43strain of Upper East Side
37:44anal.
37:46She's a little strange.
37:47I've known her for years.
37:48She's okay.
37:49Oh, yeah,
37:49I'm sure she's fabulous
37:50until you spill something.
37:51It's like she's consciously
37:52trying to cultivate
37:53an eccentricity
37:53so people won't notice
37:54that she's completely
37:55devoid of personality.
37:57Well, don't be a bitch.
37:58I'm not being a bitch.
37:59I'm just being Michelle.
38:00You're being a little
38:01bit of a bitch.
38:02Sweetheart,
38:02how are you?
38:05It's been forever.
38:07Thank you for having us.
38:09Serena, you know Carrie.
38:11Yes.
38:12Okay.
38:14Uh, darling,
38:15I can't smoke in here.
38:17No, no.
38:18Uh, Terrace.
38:20Then that's where I'll be.
38:22And just like that,
38:24I was cast out
38:25of the fancy party.
38:27That same evening,
38:28Charlotte found herself
38:29the newest member
38:30of Wiley Ford's entourage.
38:31When did marijuana
38:33become legal in restaurants?
38:48You now.
39:00You know,
39:02some was very rude to me
39:04the other morning.
39:05She practically
39:06threw me out of bed.
39:08I don't know.
39:09You must have misunderstood.
39:11Her English
39:11isn't really that good.
39:12It's just a...
39:16More asparagus, miss?
39:18It was then
39:19Samantha realized
39:21she wasn't so dim
39:22that some.
39:24That night I realized
39:25that relationships
39:26had a caste system
39:27of their own.
39:28There's the person
39:28who says I love you
39:29and there's the person
39:31who never responds.
39:32Cherry.
39:34Hey, Jeremiah.
39:37What are you doing here?
39:38I'm purveying the beverages.
39:41Just like I had to smoke,
39:42I should.
39:42Oh, good.
39:43Are you friends
39:44with these people?
39:45Oh, God, no.
39:46No.
39:47Yeah, a little uptight.
39:48What's with a no brown food deal?
39:50Whatever.
39:51Jeremiah was a famous
39:53downtown performance artist
39:54who was best known
39:55uptown as
39:55Hey, kid,
39:56let me have another
39:56scotch and soda.
39:57We had engaged
39:58in a mild flirtation
39:59for years.
40:00So who are you doing?
40:02Oh, some guy.
40:05Hey, I just got a new tattoo.
40:07You want to see it?
40:07Yeah.
40:07Yeah.
40:08Sure.
40:11Is that real?
40:12Yeah, it's real.
40:14Wowza.
40:14How far down does that go?
40:18Pretty far.
40:20Yeah.
40:23Oh, holy moly.
40:27Ahem.
40:29Shit.
40:30Excuse me.
40:33Ah, shit.
40:53Were you really out there
40:54giving the caterer
40:55a blowjob?
40:56First of all,
40:57he's not a caterer.
40:58He's a very well-known
40:59performance artist.
41:00Oh.
41:01Well, that didn't answer
41:02my question.
41:03Because it was offensive.
41:05Well, whatever you were doing,
41:07please stop.
41:09You're embarrassing me.
41:10I'm embarrassing you?
41:12Well, maybe if you'd join me
41:13on the terrace
41:14like a gentleman,
41:15we wouldn't be standing here
41:16having this conversation.
41:17Let's just go.
41:18No, you go.
41:19I'm having a good time.
41:25And across town,
41:27Miranda was late
41:28for the firm dinner.
41:31Okay.
41:38Why are you dressed like that?
41:40I returned the suit.
41:42Frankly, I couldn't afford it.
41:45Then why didn't you
41:46let me pay for it?
41:48Miranda,
41:49you need to be
41:50with a guy
41:50who's more on your level.
41:52Steve.
41:53Being in that store
41:54with you,
41:56I didn't feel good
41:57about myself.
41:59Look,
41:59I think you're
42:00an incredible lady.
42:02You want to break up
42:03with me over a suit?
42:06Fuck the suit!
42:08It's not just the suit.
42:11There's always going to be
42:12things out of my reach.
42:15So I'm being punished
42:16for being successful.
42:19That's not how I mean it.
42:22Got it.
42:24Well,
42:25thanks for the info
42:26and standing me up,
42:28and it's been nice
42:29knowing you.
42:30An hour later,
42:32adrift in a sea
42:33of Italian wool crape,
42:35Miranda wondered
42:35what was really so wrong
42:36with corduroy anyway.
42:41In the space
42:42of one evening,
42:43Charlotte had gone
42:44from girlfriend
42:45to groupie.
42:47Who had the rum and coke?
42:48Yeah, I had the rum and coke.
42:49I had the back in the back.
42:53Thanks.
43:00Listen,
43:01Charlene,
43:03I want you to do
43:03something for me.
43:05I want you to go
43:06to the ladies' room,
43:07stick your finger
43:08in your pussy,
43:10come back,
43:11and let me smell it.
43:20I don't think so.
43:25Excuse me.
43:26Charlene?
43:27Charlotte realized
43:28another moment at the top
43:29and she would have
43:30become an untouchable.
43:33Jeremiah was a bullfrog
43:36He was a good friend of mine
43:39I never understood
43:41a single word he said
43:43But he helped him
43:44After Jeremiah got fired,
43:46we celebrated downtown
43:47with a couple of
43:48pitchers of margaritas.
43:50Joy to the world
43:52Yeah!
43:52All the boys and girls
43:55and how
43:56Joy to the
43:57Joy to the fishes
44:06in the deep blue
44:07I don't live here
44:07Whoa!
44:08Whoa!
44:09Joy to you and me
44:10That was the last thing
44:11I could remember that night.
44:12If I were the king
44:14of the world
44:14Oh!
44:16Mmm!
44:17Wow!
44:19You just relax?
44:20I will.
44:21I'm gonna go grab a shower
44:22Oh!
44:23Oh!
44:25Oh!
44:30Excuse me!
44:32Nasty!
44:34Nasty girl!
44:36You dirty cock-sucking whore!
44:40I'm gonna go grab a shower!
44:42I'm gonna go grab a shower!
44:43Let go!
44:44You're crazy!
44:46What's going on out here?
44:49Mr. Harvey
44:50I'm so sorry
44:52I just went to wash the sheets
44:54but that lady hits me
44:57Oh, come on!
44:58How dare you treat some that way?
45:00Let me explain!
45:01No!
45:02There was no explanation
45:05Just get out of here
45:07Samantha realized
45:08that there was only room
45:09for one woman
45:10in Harvey's life
45:16Oh, Jesus
45:20Hello?
45:21Listen
45:23I know what you're really
45:24pissed off about
45:25but it's just something
45:26I've got to do
45:27in my own time
45:31Okay?
45:34Well
45:34I fucking love you
45:36Alright?
45:37You know I do
45:39Hey, good morning
45:39What is it?
45:40It's just a tough thing
45:42for me to say
45:43because it always seems
45:44to get me in trouble
45:46when I say it
45:48Okay?
45:51Are we okay?
45:55We're great
45:57Hey, I love you too
45:59I'll call you later, okay?
46:09Did we?
46:13Definitely not
46:15I didn't think so
46:23I felt like I was
46:24the lowest of the low
46:25but I never told Mr. Big
46:27I figured
46:28everything before I love you
46:29just doesn't count
46:30I don't know
46:30I don't know
46:31I don't know
46:31I don't know
46:31I don't know
46:31I don't know
46:31I don't know
46:31I don't know
46:32I don't know
46:32I don't know
46:32I don't know
46:32I don't know