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00:01There are only two times when it's appropriate to wear the little black dress in daylight.
00:05One involves leaving a party way too late.
00:08The other involves leaving the party way too early.
00:11The New York funeral.
00:13Javier was a hot Cuban designer and the toast of the New York fashion elite.
00:16He was also a good friend. I had known him since he was Harvey.
00:20Javier loved clothes. Unfortunately, he loved heroin more.
00:25Oh, shit.
00:28Hey.
00:31Wow, look at you.
00:32July?
00:33Wow, isn't it a little wrong to wear a dead man's designs to his own funeral?
00:37It's wrong not to.
00:38Besides, 2,000 for the outfit. I better get somewhere out of it.
00:412,000? You're kidding.
00:42Marked up 30% since yesterday.
00:45See, that's the thing about New York. You're always more popular when you're not around.
00:48Carrie, I have to look fabulous. Everyone is going to be there.
00:51Reminder, honey, this is a funeral.
00:53Not Friday night at Bond Street.
00:54That's your grief talking, honey. Get your purse. Let's go.
00:58Hey, sorry I'm late.
00:59Is everyone in town invited to this?
01:01Well, Carrie invited me.
01:03You got invited with a guest?
01:05Well, you're supposed to see the Magritte show together.
01:07That dress is really inappropriate.
01:10Apparently, Charlotte and I were the inappropriate ones.
01:13There it was, Javier's entire New Spring line.
01:16It was his best show ever.
01:18Everyone's wearing a Javier.
01:20Told you.
01:20Lend me your hat, please.
01:24Fine.
01:25But if anyone asks, it was a gift from the designer.
01:29Christ, my heels keep getting stuck.
01:31So much for death with dignity.
01:32Yeah.
01:42Hello.
01:43Buenos dias.
01:45Look at the number they did on Josefina.
01:47She is beautiful.
01:48She wasn't a week ago.
01:50Josefina was Javier's sister and heir apparent to the Javier industry.
01:54In a day, she had gone from ugly duckling to Donatella Versace.
01:57Death definitely became her.
01:59You're smoking at a funeral?
02:01Javier would have wanted it that way.
02:05We are asking today that in Avedere's memory, all donations be made to Avedere House.
02:11A home we are building to house those in the fashion industry who suffer from substance abuse.
02:19No?
02:21No.
02:23I'm going to help them raise money.
02:25That's unusually nice of you.
02:27Forget nice.
02:28The mailing list will be priceless and I'll have every unlisted 212 number in Manhattan.
02:32You had to give Samantha credit.
02:34She always saw the positive.
02:36One man's death was another woman's PR opportunity.
02:39Oh, Josefina, I'm Samantha Jones from Samantha Jones Public Relations.
02:42I was so touched by his speech and I wanted to absolutely everything again.
02:47Oh!
02:48Oh!
03:01I'm sorry.
03:03There's nothing to lose your head over.
03:04She loved hands.
03:08It's fitting, really.
03:11Your mother?
03:13My wife.
03:15Oh.
03:16Oh, I'm so sorry.
03:18It's okay.
03:20Thanks.
03:24Kids?
03:26Nope.
03:31It's just a drink.
03:33He works on the same block as my gallery.
03:35You picked up a man at a cemetery.
03:37He's really handsome and he went to Princeton.
03:39The widower thing is a definite no-no.
03:41Why?
03:41The dead wife factor.
03:42It doesn't matter how much of a bitch she was alive.
03:44Now she's dead and you're the bitch who can't live up to her.
03:47You shouldn't talk about his wife like that.
03:49See?
03:49Happening already.
03:50It's not his fault she died.
03:52And besides, I think that going through something like that makes him more sensitive.
03:55I mean, he's felt really deeply.
03:57He's in touch with his emotions.
03:59It's kind of romantic.
04:00And think about it.
04:01He's been married.
04:03I mean, it shows he can commit.
04:04Then date a divorce guy.
04:06They've committed and everyone's still alive.
04:08Well, it didn't work for big.
04:09All that marriage did was convince him he hated committing.
04:11Carrie, you broke up with him.
04:13Oh, so I'm the one with the commitment problem?
04:14Well, I'm just saying.
04:16While we were watching them break ground on Javier's last location,
04:20Miranda was breaking new ground of her own.
04:23So, it's just you?
04:24Yep.
04:26Just me.
04:27Such a big apartment to buy for just...
04:34Maybe the boyfriend will move in?
04:36No.
04:37No boyfriend.
04:38Just me.
04:40I have a son who owns his own business.
04:43No, thanks.
04:47I'll take it.
04:49And with that, Ms. Miranda Hobbs Esquire, a.k.a. just me, bought herself her first apartment
04:56and promptly took herself out for a drink.
05:00While Miranda was out celebrating her future, I was in contemplating my own.
05:05In a city that moves so fast, they give you the Sunday paper on Saturday.
05:09How did any of us know how much time we had left?
05:12There was so much I hadn't done.
05:14I'd never been to Greece.
05:15I hadn't finished painting my bathroom.
05:17My visa bill still wasn't paid in full.
05:19Hell, sometimes I felt like I was barely living.
05:22Hello?
05:23Hey.
05:26Hey.
05:27It's just me.
05:30So, uh, how are you?
05:33I just got back from a funeral.
05:35Oh, and you thought of me.
05:36I'm flattered.
05:38Listen, uh, do you want to have dinner sometime?
05:42I'd like to have dinner any old time.
05:44Who am I having dinner with?
05:45Me.
05:47Well, you know, in that case, I'd better check my book.
05:49Hang it up now.
05:50Fine.
05:52Saturday, 8 o'clock, Roberto's.
05:54Be there or be square.
05:55God, you're old.
05:57It was so easy.
05:58Just like that, I had made a Saturday night date with Big.
06:01In under 30 seconds, we had resuscitated a relationship
06:04that had taken six months to die.
06:08The next day, Samantha set out to break some records of her own.
06:11You know, I rarely make personal contributions.
06:13We'd love to have you on the Javier House board.
06:16Maybe, in this case, you could make an exception?
06:19I'll tell you what's exceptional.
06:22It's getting solicited by a woman as beautiful as you.
06:24Richard Cranwell, senior partner at Bear Stearns, philanthropist, playboy.
06:29His specialty was hostile takeovers.
06:31Flattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Cranwell.
06:34Please, call me Dick.
06:36Dick.
06:37In Samantha's case, it was more like a friendly merger.
06:40Perhaps we could discuss Javier House over dinner sometime.
06:44I believe that could be arranged.
06:47Samantha groped Dick Cranwell for the good of all strung out designers everywhere.
06:52Unfortunately, she was not expecting Sandy Cranwell back early from groping a sweater set at Bendel's.
06:59Get out!
07:01I'll just leave the proposal.
07:09Apparently, Sandy was not feeling as charitable as her husband.
07:14Meanwhile, at her mortgage company across town, Miranda was having her own troubles closing the deal.
07:19So it's just you?
07:20Yeah.
07:21Just me.
07:25Check the single woman box.
07:28An initial.
07:31And the down payments coming from your father.
07:36No.
07:38Just me.
07:44Check the single woman box.
07:45And check the single woman box.
07:49In the course of one hour, Miranda had checked more single women's boxes than her gynecologist.
07:56I'm telling you, if I was a single man, none of this would be happening.
07:59If you were a single man, I'd date you.
08:01I've got the money.
08:02I've got a great job and I still get...
08:04It's just you.
08:05No, they're threatened.
08:06Buying a place alone means you don't need a man.
08:08I don't.
08:09Everyone needs a man.
08:11That's why I rent.
08:11If you own and he still rents, then the power structure is all off.
08:15It's emasculating.
08:16Men don't want a woman who's too self-sufficient.
08:18I'm sorry.
08:19Did someone just order a Victorian straight hop?
08:23I'm sorry, Miss Jones.
08:24Your card's not accepted.
08:25Well, that's not possible.
08:26Try it again.
08:27Maybe I'm not making myself clear.
08:29Your card and you are not accepted here.
08:33Samantha had messed with the wrong woman.
08:36Sandy Cranwell practically owned Manhattan and she wanted Samantha off it.
08:39Come on.
08:40Let's go.
08:42Sandy Cranwell had done what any well-heeled socialite would do.
08:45She took out a social hit on Samantha.
08:48In 12 hours, Sam had gone from A-list to blacklist.
08:53The next night, Charlotte met Ned the widower for drinks.
08:56This was fun.
08:58Maybe we could meet for a real meal next time.
09:00I'd like that.
09:01They talked about architecture, art, the Ivy League.
09:04The ex-wife wasn't even in the picture.
09:06Is this her?
09:07Until the ex-wife's picture showed up.
09:11Yeah.
09:12Oh, she's so pretty.
09:18Let's get out of here, okay?
09:20Oh, I'm sorry.
09:22That was really thoughtless of me.
09:23I know this must be hard for you.
09:25It's just a little weird talking about her on a date.
09:28I understand.
09:36It's a beautiful night.
09:39Red, are you okay?
09:43I'm sorry.
09:44It's just...
09:46It's just...
09:48Seeing Liz's picture and thinking about her.
09:53Just...
09:53Oh, God.
09:55I'm sorry.
09:57Here, here.
09:58Ordinarily, Charlotte hated what men cried.
10:00But on Ned, it only made him more romantic.
10:06Oh.
10:07Oh.
10:09Oh.
10:10Oh.
10:11Oh.
10:11Wow.
10:11Oh, it's so embarrassing.
10:14I'm just...
10:16Feeling so much right now.
10:18Those were magic words to Charlotte's ears.
10:21It's okay.
10:22You just take as much time as you need.
10:24Okay?
10:25It's okay.
10:28Oh.
10:30Oh.
10:34Oh.
10:36Oh.
10:38Oh.
10:43Oh.
10:45Oh.
10:45Oh.
10:45Apparently, all the time Ned needed was 45 minutes.
10:47Oh.
10:49Oh.
10:49Oh.
10:50That night, under the watchful eyes of a dead woman, Ned came back to life.
10:54Oh.
10:55Oh.
11:06twice one word rebound it's not a rebound when the other person's dead she has a point
11:11he's moving on i'm helping him to get over his wife this guy has project written all over it's
11:17not fair so how is the sex amazing it's like liz was just looking over us giving us her blessing
11:23a threesome in absentia i mean my hat blew right into her headstone she was clearly sending a
11:29message yeah don't fuck my husband you hat loving bitch he invited me to a memorial service at her
11:34grave next week that is huge excuse me but when did cemeteries get so happening it's a sign that
11:40he's ready to move on and he's ready to do it with me so you're saying you fucked him back
11:44to life
11:44in a way yes man you're good that night i had my date with big i was feeling everything fear
11:53happiness dread was i ready to jump back into a life with big in it was seeing him again a
11:59huge
11:59mistake and if it was why was i so excited i had never felt so confused was charlotte light in
12:07a
12:07world where everyone's dying to make a connection can a relationship bring you back to life i never
12:13really thought about oh come on everybody wonders what happens after you die i'm too busy wondering
12:18who's dinging my car in the garage well i think we reincarnate well that's the easy way out
12:25what are you gonna come back as someone who knows better you smell nice i'm serious
12:35do you believe in heaven oh yeah really what's your idea of heaven
12:41a big bed and they just say come on in
12:48your idea of heaven is a bed it depends on who's in it i'm not sleeping with you tonight
12:53i thought we were just having dinner we are
13:00a half hour later and i was back at big's the sight of so many past little deaths
13:04it felt great and weird and wrong we can't do this yes we can not like this
13:11you're right let's go inside no i have to go
13:19i didn't know what had happened but suddenly getting back together with big seemed like
13:28would i be as lucky the second
13:31across town samantha was facing her own uncertain future check it again samantha jones
13:35sorry the first time she thought it was an unfortunate oversight the second time was
13:40just unfortunate i'm sorry we're all full i'll wait for a table don't bother
13:46by the third time samantha was turned away it had all become clear she was deader in this town
13:52than javier the next day miranda met her new neighbor
13:59hello are you my new neighbor yeah hi i'm miranda hobbs nice to meet you i i haven't actually moved
14:07in yet i'm just here taking some measurements well i'm so glad i have a young person moving in
14:13brings a little life to the place ruthie kept pretty much to herself never married
14:19uh-huh she uh died in there you know
14:23she did oh yes it was a week before anyone realized she passed
14:30rumor has it the cat ate half her face
14:34so just you
14:39that night miranda had another disconcerting experience
14:45halfway through her three delicacy delight a delicacy got stuck
15:14after miranda was done saving her own life she called someone who could commiserate
15:19unfortunately i was deep into screening mode big had called twice and i didn't know what i wanted
15:23to say to him
15:24oh my god i just choked i just almost died and you're not
15:28hey sweetie you all right i was watching hard copy
15:31and i kept thinking when they found me i would forever be the dead girl who watched bad tv
15:36well why didn't you call me
15:37i couldn't breathe i'm gonna die alone carrie
15:40no you are not do you want me to come over
15:43no i'm okay i'll call you tomorrow
15:47the fact was miranda was not okay
15:50she went to bed hungry and locked the cat in the kitchen for two days
15:54after a week of being a social pariah
15:57samantha realized if she ever wanted to get her life back
15:59she would have to beg for it
16:01she went to the top
16:02the godfather
16:03samantha jones
16:05the name sounds familiar
16:06shippy shipman was the queen of the ladies who lunch
16:10and was personally responsible for the demise of at least 70 social lives
16:14you might know me from my work with the javier house foundation
16:16no that's not it
16:18no
16:19i believe you were the whore who once groped my husband at a whitney benefit
16:23it was bad
16:24not only was samantha dying but her entire sex life was flashing before her
16:28maybe
16:29i don't really remember
16:31i do
16:34uh you're good friends with sandy cranwell
16:37yes we go back to chafin
16:39could you maybe
16:41talk to her for me
16:42i think you've made your own bed and you need to lie in it
16:45and you're good at that
16:46aren't you
16:47samantha
16:48look what do you want me to say shippy
16:51that i'm a whore
16:53that i've slept with every man in new york and some in brooklyn
16:57all right
16:58maybe i have
16:59is that what it's gonna take
17:02okay i'm a big whore
17:05now
17:05will you help me
17:11i don't think so
17:14fine
17:18and i only groped your husband's flat preppy ass at that benefit because i was drunk
17:22i'll see myself out
17:28the next day miranda decided to check out her new neighborhood
17:34but suddenly she was the one checking out
17:54that was the peculiar thing about new york
17:57you never knew if a cab was going to save you or kill you
18:00will it be a presbyterian hospital please
18:01for both
18:04well that was freaky
18:07i felt like i was drowning and dying at the same time
18:09sweetie they said you had a panic attack
18:11yeah and i had to pay five hundred dollars of my single person's salary to find that out
18:18what's wrong
18:20take a good look at my face because at my funeral
18:24there will only be half of it
18:25i'll be dead and my cat will be happy and charlotte will be picking up men at the next gravesite
18:30over
18:31breathe sweetie breathe breathe
18:34i'm all alone carrie
18:36the first people on my call in case of emergency list are my parents and i don't like them
18:40and they live in pennsylvania
18:42oh sweetie you can put me on there
18:44i can't
18:45you screen
18:47well i'll pick up
18:49i promise
18:52listen
18:54you did the right thing behind that apartment
18:57you love it right
18:58yeah
18:59and you won't be alone forever
19:02the truth was i didn't know if any of us would end up alone
19:05but i did know miranda couldn't afford another panic attack
19:13meanwhile over in queens
19:14charlotte was about to get a surprise of her own
19:19you brought lilies
19:20well you said they were her favorite
19:32please tell me those are your sisters
19:34i don't have any sisters
19:37charlotte realized she wasn't the only woman resuscitating ned
19:44charlotte's relationship died right where it started
20:17she was prepared to live in the shadow of a dead woman
20:17her own rebirth
20:18it was leonardo dicaprio
20:20ex machina
20:21that day leonardo and samantha became fast friends
20:25the nightmare was over
20:27leonardo dicaprio had brought sam back to social life
20:33to add insult to panic attack
20:35miranda had just gotten some unsettling news
20:38the mortgage officer had messed up miranda's application
20:41they had inadvertently labeled her as separated
20:44and to clear up the confusion miranda had to write a rather humiliating letter
20:54miranda had a choice she could panic or she could just type
21:01miranda killed her panic attacks right then and there
21:14she realized she probably wouldn't die alone
21:19but she kept overfeeding her cat
21:21just in case
21:26meanwhile four unreturned calls later
21:28my number was up
21:31good
21:31you're alive
21:32hey wait where are you going
21:34home
21:35i'm old
21:36it's past my bedtime
21:39i'm sorry
21:39you should be
21:41i'd box seats to a yankee double header
21:43oh damn
21:44who'd you take
21:45someone who returned my calls
21:48it was deja vu all over again
21:50me
21:51big
21:51a doorway
21:52and mixed emotions
21:54wait not here
21:56don't do this curry
22:00come on
22:02we're going out
22:05i took him to the most non-sexual place i could think of
22:08just you
22:11just me
22:20i'm good
22:21did you see that
22:22wow i sure did
22:23two pictures of cheap beer later big and i were having a great time
22:33you know what my version of hell is
22:35wearing red
22:44no heckling the bowler
22:52did you see that
22:57yeah
22:58that was nice
23:00hey look at that
23:01i won
23:03okay two out of three
23:06you want to play a second game huh
23:10maybe
23:11are you sure you're ready to get killed all over again
23:13i didn't know what we were talking about anymore
23:15but either way
23:17i knew the answer
23:18yep
23:19let's do it
23:22we never made it to the second game
23:27i didn't know if it was suicide or not
23:30all i knew was
23:31big and i had been reincarnated
23:33and i'd never felt
23:35more alive
23:38say that most new yorkers will attend the opening of an envelope as long as the champagne doesn't run dry
23:43but tonight's opening at charlotte's gallery for yael a lesbian painter from brooklyn heights
23:49actually transcended the bad wine stale cheese routine
23:52it was lesbian chic meets art world cool a surprisingly fabulous combustion that no one saw coming
23:59charlotte was there with her latest flame gareth davis toxic bachelor and the owner of thorn a downtown restaurant frequented
24:06by second-tier models and the men who buy them salad
24:11miranda brought ethan watson a documentary filmmaker whom she had met the week before at a sparsely attended harvard alumni
24:17mixer
24:20and my date for the evening was samantha not entirely inappropriate given the circumstances
24:25here
24:25nobody told me it was byo man
24:28well what did you expect it's a lesbian art show
24:30i know but don't straight guys usually follow them around to see what they're going to do
24:34wait a second
24:36you see that guy
24:37who
24:37i know him
24:39who is he
24:40he's a trainer at my gym
24:42and you should see his squat thrusts
24:44i'm just gonna say hello
24:46you know what honey i think i'm i think i'm gonna go home
24:48well relax i'll be right back
24:49no you know what i really don't i don't feel very well
24:51what's wrong
24:52i just have a headache it just hit me
24:53you want to perk a jack
24:54no no i'm fine i'm fine i just need some sleep
24:57go ahead make new friends
24:58i'll call you
24:59okay
25:04with samantha miranda and charlotte all suitably occupied
25:06i figured there was no better time to make my escape
25:11the truth was i had another engagement
25:15but i didn't dare tell any of my friends where i was going
25:18or who i was planning to meet
25:24wow
25:26you look sensational
25:28you don't look so bad yourself
25:30oh this whole thing
25:31i've had it for years
25:34sure i knew what was wrong
25:36seen an emotionally unavailable man i had sworn off months earlier
25:40but the guilt worked like an aphrodisiac
25:43i had never felt sexier or more alive in my entire life
25:49by midnight charlotte discovered manhattan's latest group to flaunt their disposable income
25:54the power lesbian
25:57they seem to have everything
25:59great shoes killer eyewear and the secrets to invisible makeup
26:02i want that one i'm gonna take it
26:04didn't i say i was buying that piece
26:06i thought you were taking a large penny when it came in
26:08i want both
26:09oh for god's sakes
26:11charlotte had never sold out a show before in her life
26:14she was pleasantly surprised
26:16unfortunately there was a not so pleasant surprise in store for her that evening
26:19we're out of champagne
26:21well i'm sure i have an extra case or two in the back store
26:23okay
26:36excuse me
26:39hey relax we're just kissing
26:45i'll see you in there
26:48i can't believe he had the nerve to stand there kissing that woman and still pretend he wasn't cheating on
26:53me
26:53well maybe he doesn't consider kissing cheating
26:55oh come on it was only your second day
26:57so
26:58doesn't that still guarantee me fidelity until the end of the evening
27:01do you remember ron the married guy with two kids on park avenue
27:03he didn't consider fucking below 23rd street cheating
27:06well that's insane
27:07men cheat for the same reason the dogs lick their balls
27:10because they can
27:11it's part of their biology
27:12instead of wasting all this energy condemning it
27:15maybe it's time we all put in line with the reality of the situation
27:19well that sounds very empowering but you're forgetting one important detail
27:22god i hope so
27:23women cheat
27:24yeah but it's completely different
27:25how
27:25because we don't go around randomly attacking any man that we're attracted to
27:29speak for yourself
27:30we're not driven by testosterone
27:32then what does drive us according to you
27:44you're nuts
27:46the problem is that you two have very different definitions of what constitutes cheating
27:50well i don't tolerate it
27:52and i'm more forgiving and realistic about human nature
27:55that's because you cheat
27:56i just don't think that you can define cheating in absolute terms
28:00you're saying anything is okay to cheat
28:02well i think maybe there's a cheating curve that
28:04and someone's definition of what constitutes cheating is in direct proportion to how much
28:09they themselves want to cheat
28:11that's moral relativism
28:12i'd prefer to think of it as quantum cheating
28:14the fact is the act of cheating is defined by the act of getting caught
28:18one doesn't exist without the other
28:20i wondered
28:22was samantha right
28:23is cheating like the proverbial tree in the forest
28:26that it doesn't exist if there's no one around to catch you
28:28in a gravity-free world of anything goes
28:31what constitutes cheating
28:34everybody cheats
28:36that's the great thing about having a trainer
28:37seven keep your neck back
28:39eight
28:41pisses me off saying people train improperly
28:43well i guess i better behave then
28:45i'm all about form and discipline
28:48do it right
28:49but don't bother doing it at all
28:51yes
28:52samantha realized that while purity of form exacted a price
28:55it also had its own rewards
28:58so how do you feel
28:59oh you got me all wet
29:01i mean this way
29:03same time on wednesday
29:04it's a date
29:06later that day charlotte realized she was just plain tired of listening to another man's weak justifications
29:12you don't understand she's an old friend of my sister's from college
29:15she just moved to the city and her uncle died last month and i was just trying to be supportive
29:20besides
29:21you're the one i want to sleep with
29:22when she felt her life take a fortuitous turn
29:26gareth
29:27i've got to go
29:28wait wait what
29:33hi nice to see you
29:35i just came in to pay for my painting
29:37it's her painting for six months
29:38and then she's selling it back to me
29:40excuse me
29:41i am the one with the big loft and all the empty white walls
29:45oh look at it i am so excited
29:48excuse me
29:49by the way i love the prada loafers
29:51thanks
29:53yeah
29:53power lesbians and their shoes are like wall street brokers in their cigars
29:57yeah el has told me so many nice things about you
29:59how long have you been doing the art thing
30:00uh ten years no
30:02twelve years
30:03i'm losing track
30:04almost five years at this gallery
30:06what do you do
30:07i'm a vp at warner music
30:08eileen works on wall street
30:09and how long have you two been together
30:12used to be together
30:12five years we're just friends now
30:14that is so cool
30:16hold on
30:16hey
30:16want to join melissa and drew in about an hour for a drink
30:19sure
30:21would you like to join us for a drink
30:24oh i wish i could but uh
30:25but what
30:27the truth is charlotte couldn't think of one really good reason not to go
30:31i'd love to
30:34one drink at g spot the hottest new girl bar in town
30:37followed by dinner and scintillating conversation at luke's
30:40a hot new french fusion restaurant with an even hotter sapphic chef
30:44followed by late night dancing at love tunnel left charlotte exhilarated and happy as she'd been in ages
30:49there was something relaxing and liberating and traveling through an alternate universe that contained no thought of men
30:55by the end of the night charlotte had truly made some wonderful new friends
30:59wake up now
31:01i'm here to send you the gates
31:04that night miranda was exhausted from her own night on the town
31:12she had spent the last four hours in the dark with ethan
31:15watching the classic holocaust documentary show up
31:18show is so much better than that fakie stagey schindler's list
31:21narrative film
31:23can't begin to touch
31:25the horror of experience
31:27i mean only documentaries can really
31:29begin to capture the truth
31:32in fact
31:33the entire concept of narrative film
31:35is just
31:36is bogus
31:37you know
31:44want to come back to my place
31:48miranda was pleased to discover that ethan was as passionate between the sheets as he was on the subject of
31:52non-narrative film
31:54but just as they were getting down to business miranda realized they were not alone
32:03what's that for
32:05just something to get us in the mood
32:07i think it's kind of sexy
32:09didn't you
32:10yeah
32:11i guess it could be
32:14miranda realized that ethan's passion for film
32:17had taken on a new and interesting twist
32:21a few nights later after a midnight show of gimme shelter at the waverly
32:24miranda discovered that ethan's new friends were hard to shake
32:33does that really need to be on
32:35no
32:36it just really turns me
32:38aren't i enough
32:39man you're great
32:41i can turn off the sound if it bugs you
32:48could you move your head a bit to the right
32:51yeah
32:55that night in mr big's kitchen
32:57i performed an unnatural act of my own
33:00i cooked
33:01voila fondue
33:06you didn't cook you just heated up cheese
33:08and tore up little pieces of bread
33:10well i'm touched by your effort
33:12okay
33:13it's the only recipe you could ever master
33:18all righty
33:20now
33:21tell me you love it
33:23oh
33:25mmm
33:27tasty
33:32now what
33:33you tell me
33:38it's horrible
33:40can we go to a restaurant now
33:45i take it back
33:45you're an excellent cook
33:50i haven't told any of my friends we've seen each other again
33:52hmm
33:54neither have i
33:55well that doesn't count you have no friends
33:57i have interested parties
33:59then why haven't you told them
34:01i sensed you didn't want me to
34:02bullshit
34:03well what do you want me to tell people
34:08nothing
34:08good idea let's keep it quiet
34:10why do you want to keep it quiet
34:12i just want to be agreeable
34:18the truth is
34:19i wasn't sure why i wanted to keep the fact that i was seeing big again so under wraps
34:23all i knew is that it felt somehow illicit
34:26i didn't even want to be caught waking up there
34:29that morning
34:30at 7 a.m. as i walked the walk of shame back to my apartment
34:34carrie
34:36miranda oh my god
34:37what are you doing up here
34:38oh uh teeth cleaning
34:40at 7 a.m.?
34:41well i just i like to get it over with
34:43hey how's ethan?
34:44aside from the fact that he's addicted to porn
34:46still huh
34:47it was kind of sexy at first but it's just getting borderline humiliating
34:50move your head here move your head there
34:52you would think that the real thing would be more exciting than a tape wouldn't you?
34:56well maybe it's just a force of habit
34:57sure but i get the feeling he's more interested in the girls in the video than me
35:01like he's cheating on me with them while we're having sex
35:04i don't know
35:05am i expecting too much?
35:06no no you you deserve his undivided attention
35:09thank you
35:09i have to go i have an 8 a.m. breakfast meeting
35:11hang on
35:12you're kind of dressed up for the dentist
35:13oh laundry day
35:15ah
35:15ah
35:16got it
35:16bye sweetie
35:17bye
35:17i felt horrible
35:18i had never lied to miranda before
35:20but i was embarrassed to admit that i was seeing big again
35:23the truth was i was cheating on her and all my friends with mr big
35:28that afternoon samantha got very personal with her new trainer thor
35:32i feel like such a cliche i bet you sleep with all your clients
35:35i really don't but it's always been kind of a fantasy for me
35:38maybe i could train you
35:39why don't we take a shower first
35:42you've got a great leg
35:44if i knew we were going to be doing this i would have shaved them
35:47that's all right i'll shave them for you
36:01are you a dirty girl?
36:04i guess that depends on your definition of dirty
36:09and then
36:10to samantha's surprise and delight
36:13thor kept right on shaving
36:22what is this thing that guys have these days about wanting to shave your pubic hair?
36:27it's obvious
36:27they want a little girl
36:28well actually
36:29in thor's case
36:30it was more like being branded
36:32what are you talking about?
36:35he shaved me in a shape
36:36a lightning bolt
36:38where do you find these guys?
36:41carrie are you listening to this?
36:42that very personal
36:44saved her crotch
36:46in the shape of a lightning bolt
36:47oh
36:48really it's um
36:49very creative
36:49it's sort of like
36:50x marks the spot
36:51you know it's a very neglected area
36:54but people are really starting to pay attention
36:56uh huh
36:56you can't just let it grow wild anymore
36:58there's an entire business these days
37:00devoted to the upkeep and management of pubic hair
37:02it says as much about you as your shoes
37:04congratulations
37:05it sounds like you found yourself a very talented stylist
37:09carrie
37:09what are you doing in there?
37:11you know what
37:12um
37:12could somebody get that?
37:13i'll be out in a second
37:15hey
37:15sorry i'm late
37:16wow
37:17you didn't have to get all dressed up for us
37:19why not?
37:20you did your hair
37:23well it's not for you guys
37:25i'm meeting lydia and her friends later on tonight
37:26lydia?
37:27who's lydia?
37:28haven't you heard?
37:29charlotte's a lesbian
37:30i am not a lesbian
37:31i just have some new lesbian friends
37:33she's been out with them three times in the past week
37:36so?
37:37they're cool and they buy art
37:39and their lives aren't complicated by men
37:40i was a major lesbian in the fourth grade
37:43wendy kirsten
37:44we kissed
37:45it was nice
37:46they know you're straight
37:47right?
37:48oh i'm sure they do
37:49but we don't even talk about sex
37:51believe me it's a non-issue
37:53you have to tell them
37:55otherwise you're just leading them on
37:56that's right
37:57you're nothing but a big clit tease
37:59what are you saying?
38:00that a straight woman and a gay woman can't be friends?
38:02of course they can
38:03but you can't expect to move to wonder woman's island and not go native
38:09where's carrie?
38:10she doesn't get out of the bathroom soon
38:11we're gonna miss the movie
38:12is everything okay in there?
38:18actually no
38:19no i need help
38:22this is embarrassing but i got a new diaphragm and it's stuck
38:26how long has it been in there?
38:29since last night
38:29you mean while you were out getting your teeth cleaned this morning?
38:32yep
38:33now listen
38:35i'm either gonna have to make an emergency visit to my gynecologist
38:37or one of you is gonna have to give me a hand
38:39i'd help you but i'm not very dexterous
38:42you're the lesbian go in there
38:45no
38:48go
38:51and i just had my nails done
38:56you are so buying me dinner
38:58wait a second
38:59aren't we skipping a beat here?
39:01who are you sleeping with?
39:04thing that started again a few weeks ago
39:05i don't know if it's real or not
39:07so i didn't want to say anything
39:08but it's big
39:10oh my god
39:11you're sleeping with big?
39:12carrie he was such an asshole to you
39:14really?
39:15i mean maybe sometimes
39:16but
39:17what makes you think it's gonna be any different this time?
39:19well i don't know
39:20i'm not sure they are
39:21but it just
39:22it kind of feels okay
39:23if it feels okay
39:24why are you sleeping behind our backs?
39:26look we've got this
39:28physical chemical kind of
39:30connection that's hard to shake
39:32so lay off okay?
39:33so now it's gonna be a casual sex thing?
39:35maybe
39:35well that's gonna work
39:36even i am not that naive
39:38you know what?
39:39i'm really not in the mode to see a movie anymore
39:42carrie
39:42carrie
39:43come on
39:44come on
39:46i couldn't sleep at all that night
39:49the problem was my friends were right
39:51falling into this casual thing with big
39:53without a sense of what happened
39:55or where it was going
39:56suddenly felt like a huge mistake
40:02the next morning
40:03charlotte attended brunch
40:04at the home of patty astin
40:06the ex-wife of a hollywood television producer
40:08if power lesbians represented manhattan's chicest new social hive
40:12charlotte was about to meet their queen bee
40:14patty is such an amazing lady
40:16she sits on the board of like a hundred charities
40:18and now she's taking flying lessons
40:19she's also got this gorgeous house in telluride
40:21we're all going there for easter
40:22you should come
40:23i'd love to
40:25she also has some very interesting art
40:29diana the huntress
40:31i got her on sale
40:33patty this is charlotte
40:34a pleasure
40:36i've heard so many wonderful things about you
40:39likewise
40:40i was just telling charlotte about your amazing house in telluride
40:43sounds wonderful
40:44i'm just gonna go get us some drinks champagne
40:46sure
40:47do you ski
40:49yes but uh... not well
40:50i guess i'm what you'd call a snow bunny you know i just kind of hop hop hop down the
40:54bunny trail
40:55yes well it's not a prerequisite believe me
40:57it's just wonderful to be out of the city and in the mountains
41:01absolutely
41:02so you should plan to join us the next time
41:04i know lydia would love it if you could
41:06that's very generous of you thank you
41:08but before we all get on a plane together
41:10there's something i think everyone wants to know
41:12are you gay
41:15no
41:15no i'm not
41:16but i do so enjoy the company of all these women
41:20everyone's so smart and funny and
41:22after spending way too much time and attention on men
41:25it feels like such a safe warm environment
41:28and while sexually i feel that i am straight
41:32there's a very powerful part of me that connects to the female spirit
41:36sweetheart
41:37that's all very nice
41:38but if you're not going to eat pussy
41:40you're not a dyke
41:45later that afternoon following a particularly grueling workout with thor
41:49samantha decided to take a relaxing steam
42:02that asshole
42:05that day at the gym
42:07samantha discovered that lightning does indeed strike twice
42:14that evening miranda was treated to a double bill
42:16nanook of the north at alice tully hall
42:19and steady as she blows at ethan watson's porn palace
42:22hold it right there
42:28all right that's enough
42:30this is not a synchronized event
42:34look
42:35i like you
42:36but this is getting ridiculous
42:37it's either the women in the video
42:39or me
42:40your choice
42:40but you can't have both
42:43miranda it's not that simple
42:44i mean i've only known you for a few weeks
42:47but i've been involved with some of those women for years
42:50i am so out of here
42:59that night for the first time ever
43:01big took me out dancing
43:03it was like he knew that i needed to talk to him
43:05and decided to make it as difficult as possible
43:08our attraction or addiction or whatever was strong
43:11but i knew i had to be stronger
43:13so does this mean we're seeing each other again
43:15officially
43:17if you say so
43:19that is an infuriating response
43:22i don't know what officially means
43:25officially means officially
43:29oh
43:30you know for real
43:33every moment of my life is for real baby
43:38well just answer me this
43:40why do we break up
43:44you tell me
43:45you're the one who left me high and dry with two tickets to st. Barnes
43:48you didn't say what i wanted to hear
43:52oh
43:54is that it
43:57no not just that
43:58i wanted to tell him that i was afraid he could never love me the way i wanted to be
44:02loved
44:03i was afraid that maybe he didn't really have the capacity to love anyone but himself
44:07i was afraid that given the chance he'd break my heart again
44:10but i cheated and just said
44:12i guess i was afraid
44:19i can tell you one thing
44:22i sure did miss you
44:25officially
44:29did you cry
44:33no
44:35but i did listen to a hell of a lot of sinatra
44:39and there it was
44:40i guess we were back together
44:42officially
44:44whatever that means
44:45you
44:49you
44:50you
44:50you
44:51you