- 2 days ago
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00:24There is no dad!
00:27Wasn't it a relief when you realized that?
00:30Thank God!
01:24Mayer?
01:26Mayer?
01:27Mayer?
01:29Hey, honey.
01:31Where's my daddy?
01:36Um, daddy's not here.
01:38For their wedding anniversary.
01:40Oh, I bet they love it!
01:45Hi, Greg.
01:46And don't worry.
01:47Whatever he wants, we will pay you for it.
01:48It's okay.
01:50We just...
01:55Did you sleep at all?
02:00The boys aren't up yet, are they?
02:03I'll take care of breakfast.
02:05Why don't you go back to bed and try and get a little sleep?
02:08I can't.
02:08I have to pick up mate's body.
02:12Can't Rico do it?
02:13I should do it, Keith.
02:14He's my brother.
02:15Maybe it's too much.
02:16It's not.
02:18So, right after breakfast, you have to take the boys to get suits for the funeral.
02:22You know, I can be with you today.
02:24It doesn't matter what the boys wear.
02:26It does matter to me.
02:29I'd start at Nordstrom's.
02:30They're having a sale.
02:31It's okay if the sleeves are a little long, but if you really need alterations, take them
02:35to Lester's on Vine.
02:37Tell them that you need it first thing tomorrow.
02:40Say David Fisher sent you.
02:41I wrote down the address.
03:04I didn't know he wanted his organs harvested.
03:09His wife approved it.
03:10Is there a problem?
03:13No, of course not.
03:17It'll save a lot of people's lives.
03:19I know.
03:23I know.
03:39Oh, fuck.
03:41You want one?
03:42You have one from your brother.
03:43They suck.
03:49Stupid cunt!
03:52You want me to make you something else?
03:55Yogurt?
03:56Oatmeal?
04:00How about a scotch and soda?
04:02Is it too soon for another pill?
04:04When did you take your last one?
04:05Three hours ago.
04:06Sure.
04:07Go ahead.
04:08Don't worry.
04:09You get addicted.
04:10I have a lot of experience getting people through withdrawal.
04:21You can have it all.
04:22Mmm.
04:25I wish you were a food medicator.
04:28When my second husband died, I couldn't stop eating for an entire year.
04:34It really helped.
04:38Hey there.
04:39Hi.
04:40What's coffee?
04:41Uh, no thanks.
04:42I think I've already had too much coffee today.
04:45I'll make you some eggs.
04:46We'll see how much your mom enjoyed hers.
04:49Thank you, but I'm fine.
04:51Why didn't you call Dr. DiPaolo?
04:54Mom, I told you he was out of town.
04:56But this was an emergency.
04:58I don't understand why no one even spoke to him.
05:00They thought he was going to be fine.
05:02He was talking to us, Mom.
05:05He really seemed okay.
05:07None of it makes any sense.
05:08Sometimes things just don't.
05:13David, is there anything I can do to, like, help you?
05:15What do you mean?
05:16Why would I need any help?
05:17I just mean, like, dealing.
05:20I can deal.
05:22You can help me call people.
05:24The list is in the office.
05:25Okay.
05:26When's the service?
05:28Tomorrow at noon.
05:29I think we should wait a few days,
05:31so people have time to get here.
05:34Nate didn't want to be involved.
05:36How do you know?
05:37He told me.
05:39Twice.
05:42But we're going...
05:45What?
05:47Nothing. Never mind.
05:54This was the pre-need he filled out before the first surgery.
05:59That was three years ago.
06:01He said he wanted, uh, cremation and Rabbi Ari Hoffman to do the service.
06:07She was supposed to marry us for the first time.
06:10Oh, right.
06:13But just last week, he said he wanted a green funeral.
06:19What's that?
06:21It's an environmentally, uh, friendly process.
06:26It's natural.
06:27The body is placed in the ground, wrapped in a shroud.
06:31No embalming or casket.
06:34People often purchase a resting place in a designated park kind of area.
06:39It's a way to conserve the land.
06:42Well, that sounds nice.
06:45Officially, we're supposed to honor the signed document,
06:48but I think he intended to change the pre-need and just never.
06:56He didn't have time to.
07:01So it's up to you, as his spouse, to decide what you think he would have wanted.
07:05I have no idea.
07:07No fucking idea.
07:10I mean, Rabbi Ari?
07:13And now apparently he is some kind of Quaker.
07:19He was, I mean.
07:22You know, maybe we should just ask Maggie what he would have wanted.
07:25What's Maggie have to do with it?
07:27Are you making decisions about Nate's funeral?
07:30We're just discussing what he might have wanted.
07:33Doesn't my opinion mean something?
07:35He's my son.
07:37I didn't think he'd want to talk about it.
07:39I want him buried in the family plot next to his father.
07:42Well, he wanted to be buried in a nature preserve.
07:45But I want him next to me.
07:46Well, you can go there, too, then.
08:03Hey.
08:04Hey.
08:05You okay?
08:10And I still can't believe it.
08:13It's like...
08:15Now we just go on with everything?
08:16That's what people do.
08:19I guess so.
08:22I guess so.
08:24I guess so.
08:24Uh, so, um...
08:26Look, I'll, um...
08:28I'll take care of the Felix pickup.
08:30What?
08:31The guy at the nursing home.
08:33I'll take care of the whole funeral.
08:34You don't have to worry about anything.
08:36We can't take that funeral.
08:38What do you mean?
08:39I don't want anyone else here during night service.
08:41David, they have a pre-need.
08:43They paid for the funeral ten years ago.
08:45Rico, please just work it out.
08:54Maya, eat your applesauce.
08:57No.
08:58Well, you have to eat something!
09:03I'm sorry for you.
09:06I'm sorry for you.
09:09I'm so sorry.
09:11I, um...
09:12I knocked over your plant.
09:14I'll replace it.
09:19What are you doing here?
09:21I thought you might need...
09:25Um...
09:28I made you guys a quiche.
09:32I didn't want to bother you.
09:33I was just gonna leave it.
09:34But, uh, then...
09:38Oh, Brenda, I'm so sorry.
09:40What is this, some kind of Quaker thing?
09:42You fuck someone's husband to death,
09:44and then you bring them a quiche?
09:47Would you please just admit it?
09:50It would be such a relief to know when exactly my marriage turned into a total fucking lie.
09:54It was not like that.
09:55Like what? God!
09:59It's not like anything you're imagining.
10:01Nate loved you.
10:02I don't need you to tell me how my husband felt about me.
10:05Even if he was pissed off at me, he certainly wasn't in love with you, even if he said he
10:08was.
10:11Nate could be very convincing that way.
10:15But all he ever wanted was someone who could make him feel like he was a better man than he
10:19actually was.
10:21Could have been anyone.
10:41Why didn't I ever get a stupid cell phone?
10:44Because you hate him.
10:46But if I had one like every other person in the world...
10:49I wouldn't have saved him.
11:01Why did Claire have to make me go get my hair cut?
11:05She's been cutting my own hair for years.
11:08Why did she have to tease me about it now?
11:12When did you have your last pill, hon?
11:15I don't want another pill.
11:19I want my son.
11:21I want my beautiful son.
11:25I know.
11:30I know you do.
11:32I know you do.
11:41If you don't reason.
11:42aunque clyney don't go back a little bit.
11:45And what do you do?
11:48This wasn't supposed to happen.
11:53I know.
11:54Nate.
11:56Nate's the one who matters.
11:58You know I love your son, but, Nate...
12:01Nate's my little man.
12:04I'm a man, dad.
12:06Oh, don't get your ass in a knack, you know what I mean.
12:09you were the one we thought we could lose what with aids picking up strange men on the side of
12:13the road screwing a whore with no condom you know all that sort of thing you've been begging for
12:18some kind of annihilation your entire life it's not true it's like a cosmic joke
12:24your poor mother oh she must be going insane he was her favorite who was yours oh claire's
12:31always been my little gal you know how that is you barely even knew claire pretty little
12:36heartbreaker just like her mom before she cracked you make me sick the feelings mutual cupcake
12:47come on daryl where are you i'm coming i'm coming
12:53no no no you have to wear your new shoes the pants drank on the floor with those just put
12:57them on
12:58all right we got to drop off something to my boss before we go to the fishers look i'm telling
13:02you
13:02the pants are too long all right maybe we can get them hemmed on the way but then we have
13:06to leave
13:18now
13:23excuse me i'm sure brenda brought some clothes but i
13:29i happen to see his best suit fresh from the cleaner we're not having a viewing why not mom i
13:37told
13:38you he didn't want to be embalmed or made up but people need a viewing you can look at him
13:44now
13:55so
14:44When he came out of the surgery, what exactly did the doctor say?
14:50Mom, I've told you this a hundred times.
14:53Well, you haven't been clear about it.
14:56If he said everything was fine and Nate was awake and talking, then clearly something went terribly wrong.
15:03What, do you think I killed him?
15:06Is that what you're trying to get me to say?
15:08How dare you speak to me that way?
15:09How dare you? I lost him too, Mom!
15:11Mom! All you've been doing is accusing me of doing the wrong thing!
15:16At least I was there!
15:28Fuck!
15:29What?
15:31I, um, picked up the programs.
15:43Thanks.
15:47Deb, farewell.
15:48Hey, it's Claire.
15:50Hey, how are you?
15:52Bad.
15:53Bad.
15:54Um, my brother is dead.
15:59Oh my God.
16:01What happened?
16:03Um, I kind of have to get out of here and, um, I don't think I can drive.
16:09Are you, like, really busy?
16:12Um, no.
16:14No.
16:16Uh, I'll be right over.
16:22Hey, Jesus Christ!
16:24Roger!
16:25Did you trash me?
16:27You too stay here, motherfucker!
16:29Goddamnit!
16:29River!
16:30What are you doing?
16:31That was my coom's kitty!
16:33Kitty's for tat, you said!
16:34You got your fucking dinner!
16:35Where's my cock sucking tat?
16:36I had to call in a lot of favors to get you that part!
16:38It's not my fault they fired you out of the table ring!
16:40I was marking, man!
16:42Hey!
16:42Why didn't you tell me how the jobs?
16:44I'm cool!
16:44I said you were a comic genius!
16:45You think I wasn't embarrassed when they told me you stunk up the place?
16:48You didn't fight for me!
16:50Everyone sells me out!
16:51My whole fucking life!
16:52Every-
16:54No, calm down!
16:55Now!
16:56Yeah, what am I gonna do?
16:58I told my mom!
16:59I did a mailing!
17:00I need you to take him to Van Nuys airport.
17:02I got a friend at Warner's letting me use the jet.
17:03I can't go to Van Nuys!
17:04That's a reoccurring of two and a half minute I'm perfect for!
17:07I just want to send him to Cabo until he settles down.
17:09I got my kids with me, man.
17:11Fine!
17:11Take them with you!
17:12I just want to show you how good I can be!
17:14Shut up, Trevor!
17:14You got your shot.
17:15Look, we're on our way to our funeral.
17:17David's brother died.
17:18I'm so sorry.
17:18That's awful.
17:20Is there anything I can do?
17:21Yeah, you can take care of this yourself.
17:22Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie, but I've been overpaying you for a year.
17:25This is the first time I really needed you to do something.
17:28Uh, Keith?
17:29You gotta get my pants fixed.
17:30Well, you can't go to a funeral with those hems.
17:32Leave the boys with me and I'll have my girl do them.
17:34She's a genius.
17:35I'm not leaving my boys with you.
17:36Well, hem the pants and drop them off with David.
17:38Please, let me help you help me.
17:41Keith, I'm a good father.
17:42I can handle two kids for an hour.
17:45Okay, but don't talk to him too much.
17:47Can we have a beer?
17:48No.
17:50Have we met somewhere?
17:52No.
17:57Oh, sweetie.
18:01Oh, my God.
18:03Damn, you've got a shitty ear.
18:08I got your dress.
18:09Thanks.
18:10You swore to me it would fit.
18:12And I picked up one from Maya.
18:15And I brought some...
18:16And I brought some...
18:16Glox and vodka.
18:17Great.
18:18I can't drink.
18:19Glox has mercury.
18:20Oh, please.
18:21A couple shots of Stoli won't kill the baby.
18:23You know, in my day, we used to sit on her ass smoking parliaments for nine months.
18:27Today, you have one piece of brie and everybody goes berserk.
18:33Come on, sweetheart.
18:34Here, have some of this.
18:35It'll take the edge off.
18:36I don't want to take the edge off.
18:40I guess I'm just blathering on like an idiot.
18:43I just...
18:43I don't know what to say.
18:45I'm just so sorry.
18:50Hello, you.
18:52How are you, Maya?
18:53I think she's a little confused.
18:55With my daddy.
18:57Oh, God.
18:58I know.
19:03Your daddy has gone away for a very long time.
19:07Mom, you can't say that.
19:10Honey, daddy's dead.
19:13That means that he's not coming back ever.
19:14Brenda, Jesus, you know, soften it up a little.
19:17Well, that's what the books say to do.
19:18I even went online.
19:19They all say you have to be very clear or she gets confused.
19:22When is daddy coming back?
19:23Daddy's dead.
19:25Remember, like, Nemo's mom?
19:27Remember how we talked about that?
19:29Um...
19:30You know what, Brenda?
19:31Um, I think you should save this discussion for a time when you're less insane with grief.
19:35I'm not insane with grief, Mom.
19:38Sweetie, you can come.
19:39Go ahead.
19:40Play with your toys, sweetheart.
19:41Have you talked to Billy?
19:42He's not returning my calls.
19:44Well, I suppose he's still in Dubai.
19:47Jesus, I hope they haven't taken him hostage.
19:49He's not very docile.
19:50I'm sure he hasn't been taken hostage, Mom.
19:53You're right.
19:54It's just that I'm a wreck.
19:56I can't believe we're both widows.
19:58It's just so horrifying.
19:59At least you got Olivier.
20:01Oh, you walked out on me last week.
20:05You know, I didn't want to make today about me, but the truth is, I want to fucking kill myself.
20:12I mean, God, the pain is just searing.
20:19I know it's not the same, but we're both alone now.
20:25No, it's not the same.
20:26Not at all.
20:29So, are we going anywhere in particular?
20:32No.
20:35Am I just driving?
20:38I don't mind.
20:43Is this a mix?
20:45Yeah.
20:47I love Top 40.
20:49I'm sorry, but it just sounds so good sometimes.
21:02I don't know why I keep thinking about these stupid fights I had with my brother.
21:07Not like any of the good times or whatever.
21:11Isn't that horrible?
21:13No.
21:15I can't think of anything nice about my sister.
21:17But I like me.
21:19I mean, you know I did.
21:24What are you thinking of?
21:26Weird things.
21:28Like this time, uh, sort of after my dad died.
21:33I had to write this idiotic English paper where you're supposed to, um, interview the person in your family that
21:42you knew the least.
21:43And my dad was dead.
21:44And it was pretty much a toss up between those two anyway.
21:50And so I asked Nate if I could, um, interview him.
21:56And he said no.
21:59It's not like it was some big dramatic thing.
22:02It was just...
22:06I'm sorry.
22:08I'm sorry.
22:09I'm sorry. This is so gross.
22:10It's okay.
22:12It's okay.
22:14It's okay.
22:17I just don't know why I keep thinking about that time.
22:23Thank you for being so flexible.
22:25Open the line.
22:26Can you sit me?
22:29Where's Angie?
22:30She called. She's gonna be ten minutes late.
22:32It's twenty minutes.
22:34Okay.
22:35The kids can hear you.
22:36What's gonna happen with the business?
22:38There's no one to stop David than spending three hundred grand on a crematorium.
22:42Rico, what's wrong with you? You're telling me this is what you're thinking about?
22:44Do you know how little savings we have right now?
22:45What if something were to happen to me, what would you do?
22:47You and the kids, what would you have?
22:49Nothing is gonna happen to you.
22:50How do you know? Something could happen to you.
22:52We still don't have any life insurance.
22:54Okay, we'll get it tomorrow, alright?
22:56Where is she?
22:58What, you need to get her outfit right just for babysitting?
23:00You wanna go ahead of me?
23:02Is that okay?
23:03Yeah.
23:04Okay.
23:06I'll see you there.
23:08Okay.
23:23He's not there.
23:24Yes, he is too.
23:27Wow, you guys look great.
23:29How do you like the link?
23:31It's perfect.
23:32David, I am so sorry about your brother.
23:35Where's Keith?
23:39We had a situation.
23:41I'm so sorry.
23:43But he just threw this guy at me.
23:45I just gotta get him on a plane and I can go.
23:47Couldn't you just say no?
23:48Today?
23:48I know.
23:49I'm sorry.
23:50But I swear I'll be there soon.
23:52Okay?
23:53David.
23:57This is total bullshit, man.
23:59I gotta get out of here.
24:03I know who I know you from.
24:06You're that guy in the blowjob video.
24:08Sorry, wrong guy.
24:10You are too, man?
24:12The one where Roger's given you head?
24:14A video.
24:15Dude, I've seen it like 20 times.
24:18Roger played it every time we had sex.
24:20You can't come without it.
24:21Did she pay you extra for that or is that just part of the job?
24:29Hey, where are you going?
24:30Hey!
24:31Hey!
24:32Where are you going?
24:36So why don't you like your sister?
24:38Just the older one.
24:39Caroline.
24:43She's just kinda mean.
24:45Which is weird because she does this noble work helping refugees.
24:50So, to the world at large, she's a saint.
24:53But if you're actually a person in her life, she's just a bitch.
24:57Like, when my little sister was going through chemo,
25:00Caroline came by to help her out, like, twice.
25:04In three years.
25:07That is pretty bad.
25:10So, the sister okay?
25:12Yeah.
25:12Betsy.
25:15She was lucky.
25:18Let's go.
25:29I have to go back.
25:33I have to go back.
25:39There you are.
25:42How are you?
25:45Thanks for making it.
25:49The boy's okay.
25:51They're upstairs in a state of bliss.
25:53Roger bought them iPods.
26:06But why would God take someone's son?
26:09The one moment they were ever in their whole lives not able to be with him.
26:13What kind of a message is that?
26:16I don't think it's helpful to see it as a message to you.
26:19Then why would it happen that way?
26:21Unless there really is no God.
26:24It's natural to be angry.
26:26But maybe it's best to view God as a light through this dark time as opposed to seeing him as
26:32the cause of it.
26:33God is an asshole.
26:34Yes, God is a huge asshole.
26:37And we fucking hate him for this.
26:42We're gonna get you through this, honey, alright?
26:45You're not alone. You're not alone.
27:07We're gonna take this badge off of me.
27:14I can't use it anymore.
27:21It's getting dark, too dark to see.
27:27Feel I'm knocking on heaven's door.
27:33Knock, knock, knock it on heaven's door.
27:40You could have dressed.
27:43I couldn't.
27:46The rest of us managed.
27:48The rest of you win.
28:08I think we're all in shock.
28:13Three years ago, we prayed for Nate's life.
28:19We thought our prayers were answered.
28:21Now we have to pray for help making sense of this loss.
28:29Because we've lost a lot.
28:33A son.
28:34A father.
28:36A brother.
28:38A husband.
28:40A colleague.
28:45To me, an inspiration.
28:48He had a natural sense.
28:52He had a natural sense of what to say to people when they're grieving.
28:56And, you know, I just think that he'd know what to say to help us.
29:00If only he were here.
29:01And thank you.
29:32I'm David Fisher and Nate was my big brother.
29:37When we were kids, I used to get picked on at school.
29:39I'd come home with my face or my pride bruised.
29:44And Nate would make me tell him who did it.
29:47And he'd go talk to whoever was tormenting me.
29:49And I'd be fine.
29:58Until it happened again.
30:00So Nate came up with another strategy.
30:02He said, when they start in on you, just laugh.
30:05Laugh at them.
30:06Even if they hit you, laugh.
30:07Well, I could never pull that off.
30:10But that was Nate.
30:11He could laugh at anything.
30:12And people were always drawn to him.
30:14Because he could make the best of the worst situation.
30:26Even when life hit him.
30:28It couldn't get.
30:31Get.
31:00My name is George Sibley.
31:02I was Nate's stepfather.
31:05This is a hard day.
31:09And we're all very upset.
31:16The loss of a young person is always a terrible blow.
31:21But in this case, it's even more cruel.
31:25Because Nate was an idealist.
31:29And he struggled.
31:33All through his life.
31:36To be a good man.
31:39He wasn't perfect.
31:40Than who among us is.
31:43And he never gave up on himself.
31:47The people he loved.
31:50Or even love itself.
31:52In all its vexing, beautiful forms.
32:04Oh, Claire.
32:06There's too much cold cuts out there already.
32:08Here.
32:08Take this scary fruitcake instead.
32:20How are you feeling?
32:24Okay.
32:25Okay.
32:28I should go back downstairs.
32:30It's alright if you need to rest.
32:33You can go down if you want.
32:36I want to stay with you.
32:47I'm sorry for what I said.
32:50I'm sorry.
32:52You lost him too.
32:58You and I are really the most alike, you know.
33:04And sometimes maybe it makes it harder.
33:14Hey.
33:16Hey.
33:17How's it going?
33:19Okay.
33:19Many questions.
33:21Uh-oh.
33:27Hey, honey.
33:30Hey.
33:31Did you go?
33:32No.
33:37Maya.
33:37Why didn't you tell someone you needed to go potty?
33:40Do I have to get you a diaper?
33:42God, she hasn't done this for months.
33:44Sometimes they regress when they're upset.
33:45Oh, fuck.
33:47We're going to the cemetery in like two minutes.
33:49You know what?
33:49I'll clean her up.
33:50You just go.
33:51Don't worry.
33:52Thanks.
33:52Yeah.
34:00I'm just trying to keep things tidy.
34:04We're leaving for the cemetery soon.
34:06It's just going to be family.
34:09I understand.
34:11Would you care to join us?
34:13Yes.
34:14Very much.
34:18I wouldn't want Joy to come.
34:20If she happens to be here somewhere.
34:22She's not here.
34:24I have no idea where she is.
34:27Ever.
34:29Anymore.
34:37Here you go.
34:37Hey, Claire.
34:38You can ride with David and Keith.
34:39George.
34:41Driving with Maggie and Sarah.
34:43Hey, Brenda, are you riding with your mom?
34:44Uh, no.
34:45She's not going.
34:46Well, you can ride with me and Nate.
34:49No, I'll drive myself.
34:50Thanks.
34:50I don't think you should do that.
34:51Here, there's room with David.
34:52I'm fine, really.
34:53Okay.
34:54Well, listen.
34:55Here are the directions and...
34:58My cell phone.
34:59In case you get lost or something.
35:01Yes.
35:03Don't forget this.
35:43Oh, damn it.
35:44I do.
35:46David, are you okay?
35:49David?
35:51I can't go out there right now.
35:52What do you mean?
35:54You go.
35:55I'll be out in a minute.
35:57I can stay with you.
35:57No, just give me a minute.
36:10This is no coffin?
36:13Yeah, I want one.
36:14It's more natural this way.
36:19Where's David?
36:21I think the three of us can handle this.
36:47Where did we put them?
36:50Uh...
36:50On the ground, I guess.
36:52Want to get dirty?
36:56Dusty dust.
37:06Wasn't there a...
37:07A poem you wanted read?
37:09Where's David?
37:10I think he's just a little too upset, Ruth.
37:13We're all upset.
37:15That's right, sweetie.
37:15We're all fucking upset.
37:17Sometimes we can't be everywhere we want to be.
37:20Yes, well, sometimes we can.
37:21We can't catch up, man.
37:23Oh, God.
37:40Hey, man.
37:50We're starting the ceremony now
37:54I can't
37:55If you don't get out of this car
37:59You will hate yourself forever
38:01I know, but I can't
38:02Yes, you can
38:03You have legs
38:07I am not doing this without you
38:09Mom, please
38:09I'm so dizzy
38:10I can't breathe
38:16And we'll wait until you can
39:07Cut some...
39:08Cut some...
39:31From the mystic odes of Rumi
39:36Our death is our wedding with eternity
39:40What is the secret?
39:42God is one
39:44The sunlight splits when entering the windows of the house
39:47This multiplicity exists in the cluster of grapes
39:52It is not in the juice made from the grapes
39:54For he who is living in the light of God
39:57The death of the carnal soul is a blessing
40:02Regarding him, say neither bad nor good
40:04For he has gone beyond the good and the bad
40:08Fix your eyes on God
40:10And do not talk about what is invisible
40:13So that he may place another look in your eyes
40:26Nate?
40:30Nate?
40:35Kurt Cobain died today
40:38Oh
40:38He killed himself
40:41He was just too pure for this world
40:45Well, his music will be wrong
40:49Yeah
40:51Yeah
40:51Yeah, it will
40:57Want to try some?
40:59Yeah
41:02It is the eternal light
41:04Which is the light of God
41:05The ephemeral light
41:07Is an attribute
41:08Of the body
41:09And the flesh
41:11Oh God
41:12Who gives the grace
41:14Of vision
41:15The bird of vision
41:18Is flying toward you
41:19With the wings
41:21Of desire
41:41One
41:43Two
41:43Four
41:45Son
41:46Son
41:52Thanks, Claire
41:59One
42:00Two
42:01Three
42:01Easy
42:04Easy
42:05Okay
42:07Okay
42:10Two
42:10Two
42:10Three
42:11Five
42:11Two
42:11Five
42:12Two
42:38Can't
42:59What the fuck?
43:12Let's go.
44:08You like the poem I chose?
44:10No, I hated it. Mystical, maudlin' crap.
44:14You just don't understand it.
44:16I'm about twenty times smarter than you. I understood it.
44:19It's not about being smart, Brenda. It's about having spiritual depth. Maggie understood it.
44:24Maggie's a mealy-mouthed little cunt. She couldn't even admit she fucked you.
44:27Maybe she doesn't want to pollute what she and I shared by handing it over to your filthy imagination.
44:30What you shared? Adultery while your wife's pregnant and raising your child from another woman?
44:35You will always think of Maya that way, won't you?
44:38Even when she's calling you mama, you think I'm stuck raising some dead bitch's kid.
44:42No, I'm a good mother to her.
44:43Yeah, you were a great mother when you yelled at her for having an accident.
44:46I didn't mean to yell at her.
44:47You just wanted me to plug you with your own baby. Now, you've got that.
44:51So you can drop the wrong little wife routine.
44:52Why are you saying this?
44:54You could have married Joe if you wanted to be with somebody who really wanted to be with you.
44:57But deep down, you know that anybody who really wants to be with you is a fucking idiot.
45:01Shut up!
45:01Because just like everybody else in your psychotic family, you have to destroy everything and everyone you love.
45:06Just leave me alone, okay? Just leave me alone.
45:16We brought you some alphabet soup.
45:18It was all we had.
45:23I even loaded some smooth jazz onto my iPod for you to listen to.
45:28Oh, thanks.
45:29I had no idea you guys were such good nurses.
45:35Yeah, well...
45:36You learn something new every day.
45:38Yeah, you do.
45:41I don't care where they found him, Roger, okay? I quit.
45:44Uh-oh.
45:45No, you are one sick dude. I don't want to be anywhere near you ever again.
45:49He's not going to take the iPods away, is he?
45:52I'm serious, Roger. I've had it with you.
45:54I hope not. I need my smooth jazz.
45:57You better eat that while it's hot.
46:02I forget how anyone ever gets over anything.
46:06You don't, really.
46:08Don't say that. You do.
46:09It's just time.
46:12And remembering love, really.
46:14What the hell does that mean?
46:17Slowly you fall back in love with whatever really mattered to you.
46:23Yes.
46:24And maybe you find a way to make sense of what you've lost.
46:30That doesn't seem possible.
46:36Honey.
46:37Honey.
46:39I don't want to freak you out.
46:43But last night, Nate appeared to me in a dream.
46:48He did?
46:50What did he say?
46:53He didn't really say anything.
46:56But he had a very loving presence.
47:00Was he with someone?
47:02He was with me, I guess.
47:04Are you sure he didn't say anything about death?
47:08Well, he didn't have to say it, sweetie.
47:10I got the message.
47:31Hello, dear.
47:35Oh, thank you.
47:39Come upstairs, dear.
47:44I can't do this right now.
47:46I need you to take her for...
47:48I don't know how long.
47:50Of course.
47:50I don't want to make things worse for her.
47:52I can't...
47:54I can't do it.
48:04Maya.
48:05You stay with Grandma.
48:08Okay?
48:09You're gonna have so much fun with Grandma.
48:14I love you.
48:23I love you.
49:01It's just me.
49:02Fuck!
49:03Oh, Jesus, Billy!
49:05What are you doing?
49:08I tried to make her back in time for the funeral.
49:11Why didn't you call?
49:15I thought it was better to just get here.
49:20Oh, God.
49:23I thought you were too late.
49:44All I'm out is all we have