- 23 hours ago
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00:01New York City is all about sex.
00:03People getting it, people trying to get it, and people who can't get it.
00:08No wonder the city never sleeps.
00:10It's too busy trying to get laid.
00:12But if you ever actually do manage to get someone in bed, the real fun begins.
00:19It's kind of with nuts in it.
00:22We love our nuts.
00:23Mm-hmm.
00:26Mm.
00:28Good.
00:30After sleeping together for many weeks, Mr. Big and I had gotten comfortable enough to really sleep together.
00:40It was nice.
00:42It was the way I'd always dreamed it could be.
00:45Good morning.
00:47Morning.
00:56Is that you?
00:59Oh, my God.
01:00Oh, my God.
01:00Oh, my God.
01:01Oh, my God.
01:02I think it might be worse under there.
01:04Shut up.
01:05Shut up.
01:06Shut up.
01:07Oh, my God.
01:10I hadn't dressed so quickly since the time I was caught in the boys' dorm sophomore year.
01:14Wait.
01:14Don't you want some coffee?
01:15Oh, gosh.
01:16I'm late for a thing.
01:19Oh, my God.
01:20I was mortified.
01:22I didn't call in the rest of the day.
01:24I tried to lose myself in work, but every time I stopped for a second to think, I'd relive
01:30my hell all over again.
01:33The next day, I realized how childish I was behaving.
01:36I decided to stop avoiding the situation and take the grown-up approach, complete and utter denial.
01:41Oh, so I saw the Met is opening a new Goya exhibit.
01:44Do you want to go this Saturday?
01:46Sure.
01:48Could you get me some more duck sauce, please?
01:51I most certainly can.
01:54Oh, and then we have to stop and see the Renoirs.
01:56I love the Renoirs.
01:58Okay.
02:04There's a moment in every relationship where romance gives way to reality.
02:40That was the first night we slept together and didn't make love.
02:44By the middle of the next week, it was three times in a row, and I was beginning to worry.
02:49Three times?
02:49Try three months.
02:51No.
02:51Yes.
02:53Now would be a good time to wipe that horrified look off your face.
02:56I'm sorry, sweetie.
02:57I'm sorry.
02:58I just, wow, I didn't know.
02:59Where have I been?
03:00You've been having sex.
03:02I've been at Blockbuster running videos.
03:04It's tragic.
03:06I'm like two rentals away from a free pound of gummy bears.
03:08Oh, relax.
03:09You're just in a dry spell.
03:10I can't believe you said that.
03:11You're all freaked out about three times.
03:13I'm talking three months.
03:14Yeah, but that's different.
03:15Not doing it when you're with someone means much more than not doing it when you're not with someone.
03:19What are you worried about?
03:20I thought you said everything felt really comfortable and great.
03:23Yeah, well, maybe too comfortable.
03:25What do you mean?
03:27I farted.
03:29I farted in front of my boyfriend.
03:32And?
03:33And we're no longer having sex.
03:36And he thinks of me as one of the boys.
03:38And I'm going to have to move to another city where the shame of this won't follow me.
03:43You farted.
03:44You're human.
03:45I don't want him to know that.
03:46I mean, he's this perfect guy.
03:49You know, he walks around his perfect apartment with his perfect suits.
03:52I mean, he's just perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect.
03:54And I'm the girl who farts.
03:55I mean, no wonder we're not having sex.
03:56You're insane.
03:58It's been three times.
03:59It's perfectly normal.
04:00Says who?
04:01I mean, say it's not, then what else is going on?
04:07I mean, is it normal to be in the same bed and not do it?
04:09I guess it depends on what's normal for you.
04:12Oh, God, I hate that.
04:13Who am I to know what's normal?
04:16Dating a hundred years, I don't have a clue.
04:18Well, three months is not normal for me.
04:21One month was interesting.
04:23Two months was numbing.
04:24Three months, I am going out of my mind.
04:27There are 1.3 million single men in New York.
04:301.8 million single women.
04:32And of these, more than 3 million people, about 12, think they're having enough sex.
04:38How often is normal?
04:40I have to masturbate three times a day just to make it through.
04:43Some people take coffee breaks.
04:44I take jerk-off breaks.
04:46They say the average 33-year-old woman has sex 3.5 times a week.
04:50I like to know who that woman is.
04:51You know, my wife and I haven't had sex since the baby was born.
04:54The baby's applying to Yale next fall.
04:57Once.
04:58One time a day.
05:00But two times on a very special day.
05:03Normal is the halfway point between what you want and what you can get.
05:08Even in the plow position, I could count on Samantha for amazing sexual clarity.
05:12Very good.
05:13Let's move on to downward-facing dog.
05:15Woof.
05:16With him, I could do it every hour on the hour.
05:20Do you think it means something if Big and I are sleeping together, but we're not sleeping together?
05:25The truth?
05:26And when have I ever wanted that?
05:28Yeah, okay, tell me.
05:29Well, I think there's trouble.
05:30I mean, sex is a barometer for what's going on in the relationship.
05:34Well, I wasn't going to tell you this, but, um...
05:39I farted.
05:41Then move your mat away.
05:42Not now.
05:43I did it in front of Big.
05:45Huge mistake.
05:47You think?
05:48It wasn't a choice.
05:49I'm human.
05:50It happened.
05:50No, honey, you're a woman.
05:52And men don't like women to be human.
05:54We aren't supposed to fart, douche, use tampons, or have hair in places we shouldn't.
05:58I mean, hell, a guy once broke up with me because I missed a bikini wax.
06:02I knew it.
06:03This is a watershed relationship moment.
06:05I'm never going to be able to erase him.
06:06Oh, sure you will.
06:07Just go over there and fuck his brains up and he'll forget all about it.
06:10Men aren't that complicated.
06:12They're kind of like plants.
06:13Concentrate.
06:14Quiet your insides.
06:15Yeah, he tells me.
06:16Roll over on your backs.
06:17Take goddess pose.
06:20Let your breathing work with you.
06:22In.
06:24And out.
06:27In.
06:29Oh.
06:31Ah.
06:33Would you like to go for a coffee sometime?
06:3545 minutes and three animal positions later, Samantha and Siddhartha were sipping green tea
06:40at a nearby health food restaurant.
06:42Tofu or not tofu.
06:43I always feel so amazing after go-go.
06:46My body feels so open, so alive, so ready for anything.
06:51Samantha.
06:53Yes?
06:54I'm celibate.
06:56I practiced brahmacharya, tantric celibacy.
06:59I gave up sex three years ago.
07:01My God, why?
07:03Or more importantly, why?
07:06Didn't you like it?
07:07Oh, I loved it.
07:09I'd have sex morning, noon and night, sometimes three women a day, and I was always ready for more.
07:13And now you're just being cruel.
07:14No.
07:16It was all ego.
07:17And where I am now is so much better than sex.
07:20Oh, come on, honey.
07:22Nothing's better than sex.
07:23Think about really good foreplay.
07:25Your sexual energy is just starting to awaken.
07:28Now imagine a three-year foreplay where all that sexual energy is coursing through your body,
07:35but it never gets released.
07:37It just recycles, builds, rises, until your entire being is humming with that electric sexual energy.
07:48My apartment's just around the corner.
07:51The only thing hotter than sex is not having sex.
07:56Amazingly, talking dirty about not having sex was the most sexually deviant act Samantha had participated in for months.
08:02The next night, when I met Charlotte for dinner, I had reached my own transcendental state.
08:07Pure Mr. Big obsession.
08:09Okay, um, the first time he was tired.
08:12And the next two times, I...
08:16I don't know.
08:18I don't know.
08:19It's bad, isn't it?
08:20Carrie, relax.
08:21There's nothing wrong with your relationship.
08:23Well, that's not all, Charlotte.
08:24I, um...
08:25What?
08:26I couldn't bring myself to tell her.
08:29I was afraid she'd go spontaneously deaf.
08:31I'm sorry.
08:32Um, what...
08:32What were you saying?
08:34People put too much emphasis on the importance of sex.
08:37It's not the most important thing in a relationship.
08:39Right.
08:40Take Kevin and I, for example.
08:41We've been going out for weeks, and we still haven't done it.
08:44I mean, we touch and cuddle.
08:47But he's sweet, and he respects my boundaries.
08:49And I like it.
08:51It makes it special.
08:53Oh, there he is.
08:54Meeting a friend's new boyfriend for the first time is always a little tense.
08:57What if you don't like him?
08:58What if he doesn't like you?
08:59Kevin, this is my good friend, Carrie.
09:02Hey, Carrie.
09:03Hi.
09:03What if you've already slept with him?
09:06You two know each other.
09:08Well, kinda.
09:09We used to go out.
09:11Well, kinda.
09:12Used to go out.
09:14You two used to go out.
09:16That's so funny.
09:17Isn't that funny?
09:18Oh, that's my office.
09:19I gotta take this.
09:20I'll be right back.
09:21Come on.
09:25Okay, when?
09:26Um, three years ago.
09:28Three years?
09:29I can live with that.
09:31Serious?
09:31No.
09:32Good.
09:33Why'd you break up?
09:34You know, we were in different places, and I just...
09:37Carrie, we don't have time for diplomacy.
09:39Just tell me.
09:40He's a sex maniac.
09:47When Charlotte discovered that Kevin had tucked his libido away for her comfort level,
09:51she was even more moved by his restraint.
09:54I want you to know how much I appreciate your patience.
09:57Hmm?
09:58You've been so patient with me.
10:00Shows how much you really care.
10:02And all that waiting...
10:04It's gonna make it all the more special for us now.
10:12There's only gonna be one stop.
10:14Thanks.
10:29I don't think this is gonna work.
10:32Why?
10:32Is it me?
10:33No, you're great.
10:34I'm just not that sexual a guy.
10:38It's me, and I know it's me.
10:41Look, um...
10:42Carrie told me that you were quite sexual.
10:44In fact, I believe she used the word...
10:46Maniac.
10:47That was before.
10:50Before what?
10:51Prozac.
10:53Prozac?
10:53Yeah.
10:54I used to be such a mess, Mr. Mood Swing.
10:57It's a total lifesaver.
10:58The only downside is, is it takes the air out of my tires.
11:02After a while, it's kind of like a taffy pull.
11:05It's okay.
11:07Don't worry about it.
11:09I don't.
11:10I mean, I wish I could say I felt worse, but...
11:12Tell you the truth.
11:13These days, nothing gets me down.
11:15You wanna watch a movie?
11:21Terrified of going to Mr. Biggs for what could become another platonic sleepover,
11:25I paced my apartment and tried not to think about our lack of sex when...
11:30There they were, my new neighbors.
11:33Mr. and Mrs. Get It On.
11:35A couple so obviously into each other, there was only one thing to do.
11:39Watch.
11:44Then something wonderful happened.
11:46My desire overcame my fear.
11:48Hi, it's me.
11:50Is it okay if I come over?
11:52Okay.
11:54Meanwhile, across town at the corner of Nirvana and West 3rd,
11:57Siddhartha was helping Samantha along her newfound path.
12:00Blocks our connection to our inner life and true identities.
12:04You're hard.
12:06I know.
12:07Our addictions and attachments are a way to block our spiritual hunger
12:11through unhealthy, undependent ways.
12:14You're still hard.
12:15It'll go down.
12:16So can I.
12:25I showed up at his apartment feeling sexy and confident,
12:29wearing my secret weapon skirt that really hugged my hips.
12:32I was right to go.
12:33He didn't have a prayer.
12:38Very nice.
12:39Come on in.
12:40I'm watching the fight.
12:41He's remembering to go to the body and he's landing at the left hook.
12:45There's another right hand there.
12:47He's got a bus.
12:49Baby.
12:49Watch out the crowd on his feet through all of this round.
12:52Come on.
13:00Let me watch this.
13:16Let me watch this.
13:22You know, life with your perfect apartment and your perfect pay-per-view fight.
13:25Maybe I should leave.
13:29I stood there and waited for the obligatory, he's coming to stop me ten seconds.
13:33He didn't.
13:36By the time I got home, I was sure he'd left an apology on my voicemail.
13:39You have no new messages in your mailbox.
13:41I didn't sleep very well that night, but I wasn't the only one.
13:46After a night of spiritual reading with her hunky guru,
13:49Samantha began to feel things she hadn't felt in a very long time, frustrated and horny.
13:55She decided it was time to put an end to her suffering,
13:57but just as she reached the place Krishna once called the gateway to life,
14:01she turned back and decided not to enter.
14:04After all, she'd come this far.
14:05She could continue not to come at all.
14:09In an effort to get her mind off sex,
14:11Miranda had rented a five-hour Danish documentary on the Nuremberg trial.
14:15It actually worked, until...
14:17Hey, gorgeous!
14:18Why don't you quick drop this, huh?
14:21Hey, she's thinking about it.
14:23Where you going so fast?
14:24I got what you want.
14:26I got what you need.
14:27Like every woman consumed with a relationship problem,
14:30I needed a project to keep my mind from obsessing
14:33and my hands from dialing his number.
14:39Three months and one week.
14:42Miranda needed to keep her hands busy as well.
14:44Did he call?
14:45No.
14:46And it's been two days.
14:49Nice color!
14:51Egg crew?
14:52Eggshell.
14:55Well, I think it's over.
14:58I should never have farted.
15:00Jesus, Carrie, that's it.
15:02I've heard enough about the fart.
15:03It's not the fucking fart.
15:04I think it's not the fucking fart.
15:06I just, I think I'm in love with him
15:08and I'm terrified that he's going to leave me
15:10because I'm not perfect.
15:12All right.
15:13Let's just put the roller down
15:15and go in the other room and talk, huh?
15:17His sex has stopped.
15:19He hasn't called.
15:20What if he never calls
15:21and three weeks from now
15:22I pick up the New York Times
15:23and I read that he's married
15:25some perfect little woman
15:26who never passes gas
15:27under his $500 sheets.
15:29When did you get so obsessed
15:29with being perfect?
15:30I don't know.
15:31It's something about him.
15:32I mean, you should see me around him.
15:33I'm not like me.
15:34I'm like together, Carrie.
15:36You know, I wear little outfits.
15:38You know, sexy Carrie
15:39and casual Carrie.
15:40Sometimes I catch myself actually posing.
15:43It's just, it's exhausting.
15:44Well, then stop.
15:45Why don't you show him more of this, Carrie?
15:47She's pretty great.
15:48Yeah, what if he doesn't like her?
15:51Miranda?
15:52Oh, my God.
15:55Look at them.
15:56Oh, wow.
15:58But I had no idea they did an afternoon show.
16:00When a show is good, word gets around.
16:02There we were.
16:03The 90s version of matinee ladies.
16:06Who said the theater was dead?
16:07Samantha, I cannot believe
16:08that you would give this up on purpose.
16:09Actually, I hardly miss it.
16:11How long has it been?
16:13A hundred years.
16:14It never goes down, does it?
16:16Look, it's still hard.
16:18Yeah.
16:19Gummy bear, please.
16:23Give me the fucking candy.
16:24Hey, snapping over gummy bears
16:26might be a sign that celibacy's not for you.
16:28All I can say is that my big payoff
16:29better be worth it.
16:30Samantha, I don't understand you.
16:32There are people starving out there
16:33and you're fasting.
16:34Stop complaining.
16:35At least you can take care of yourself.
16:36I'm way beyond that point.
16:38Besides, I think I've given myself
16:39a car full tunnel.
16:40Oh, sure.
16:41It's all fun until you get to know each other.
16:45Yeah, that move right there,
16:46that's what they're famous for.
16:47It's been an hour.
16:49How can that guy still be...
16:51It's hard.
16:52I have got to try this again with Kevin.
16:54I mean, we really like each other.
16:56That's got to be stronger than a drug, right?
16:58I'm warning you, ladies.
17:00If I make it to four months,
17:02I'm humping one of you.
17:05Oh, my God.
17:08I hate them.
17:09After the second show,
17:11each of us went on with our Saturdays.
17:13Miranda went to get a movie
17:14and another pound of gummy bears.
17:16Hey, hey, it's my sweetheart.
17:18You're looking good, baby.
17:19Good enough to eat.
17:20Where you going, doll?
17:21I got what you want.
17:23I got what you need.
17:24You talking to me?
17:25Oh.
17:29What I need?
17:30Uh-huh.
17:30Well, what I want is to get laid.
17:32What I need is to get laid.
17:33I need to get laid.
17:35Take it easy, lady.
17:36I'm married.
17:37All talking, no action, huh?
17:39What a gavone.
17:41Yeah, she's something else.
17:42She needs to eat off.
17:44Samantha decided to channel her frustration at yoga.
17:48Now release and breathe.
17:51Unless you're planning to move those hands down,
17:53get them off me.
17:54Exhale, chaturanga dandasana.
17:57She had reached the end of her path
17:59and her patience.
18:01Get your forehead to the ground.
18:03Extend your arms.
18:06Breathe.
18:07Easy, lower back.
18:12Exhale.
18:14Exhale.
18:15Want to fuck?
18:17Yeah.
18:22Samantha spent the rest of the afternoon
18:24having multiple yogasms.
18:27Later that night,
18:29Charlotte was determined to prove
18:30she was stronger than selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors.
18:34Isn't your arm getting tired?
18:35No, I think it's starting to work.
18:38Charlotte,
18:39it's not.
18:41And I'm beginning to chafe.
18:43Oh.
18:51You okay?
18:52Yeah.
18:53I've just never been in this situation before.
18:57Do you think you'll ever...
19:00Never mind.
19:02What, think I'll ever go off it?
19:03Yeah.
19:04Nope.
19:05Not even for me?
19:08Nope.
19:10Now, come on.
19:10Wouldn't you rather be with a guy
19:11who's kind and giving
19:13and not that interested in sex
19:14than an unstable, over-sexed prick
19:17who only wants to get laid?
19:22Nope.
19:24Once Charlotte realized
19:25she couldn't get what she thought she didn't want,
19:27she couldn't imagine going on without it.
19:30Saturday night's dinner came and went
19:32with no call from Big.
19:33My life was suddenly shit,
19:35but my cabinets were looking fabulous.
19:39Who is it?
19:41Me.
19:47Surprise.
19:49Yeah.
19:54Wow.
19:59What's all this?
20:01I'm painting.
20:02I can see that.
20:04Why didn't you call?
20:07Why didn't you call?
20:12So this is where you'll end.
20:17About the time you invited me out.
20:19I didn't invite you.
20:21I know.
20:30It's nice.
20:32Very nice.
20:33No, it's not.
20:33It's a mess.
20:36Floors need to be stripped
20:37and the curtains are...
20:38I just...
20:39I don't want to change a lot of it.
20:43I don't know.
20:45I like it.
20:52I like it the way it is.
20:56What was that all about the other night?
20:58That was me.
21:00Having a meltdown.
21:02Okay.
21:10Nice paint.
21:13Eggshell?
21:14Yes.
21:15Mm-hmm.
21:21Did you know that there's a couple humping outside of your window?
21:24No.
21:25Really?
21:27Well, I never noticed.
21:29All I could think was,
21:30why aren't we having sex?
21:32Is this normal?
21:34What's wrong?
21:35Where are we going?
21:36Oh, hell.
21:39We can do better than that.
21:45And then, he kissed me.
21:48Odd, how normal can sometimes feel so uncomfortable.