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00:04Coming?
00:05No.
00:10It'll be a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
00:12No, it won't.
00:18Everybody's going.
00:19Don't exaggerate, Percy. I'm not going.
00:21Mrs. Miggins from the pie shop isn't going.
00:24Oh, my lord, you are cruel.
00:26You know perfectly well that Mrs. Miggins is bedridden from the nose down.
00:30And besides, she is honouring the occasion in her own special way
00:33by baking a great commemorative pie
00:35in the shape of an enormous pie.
00:39What an imagination that woman has.
00:41Oh, come on, Edmund.
00:43The greatest explorer of our age is coming home.
00:46The streets have never been so gay.
00:48Women are laughing, children are singing.
00:50Look, look.
00:52There's a man being indecently assaulted by nine foreign sailors,
00:54and he's still got a smile on his face.
00:57Look, Percy, the return of Sir Walter...
00:59Ooh, what a big ship I've got.
01:01Raleigh is a matter of supreme indifference to me.
01:05Look, if you're not careful,
01:07all the children will dance about outside your window
01:09singing Sourpuss and Grumpy Face.
01:11And you wouldn't want that, now would you?
01:13I believe I could survive it.
01:15Now, Percy, will you get out before I cut your head off,
01:18scoop out the insides, and give it to your mother as a vase?
01:23What a chloss.
01:25The most absurdly dressed creature in Christendom.
01:33With one exception.
01:35My Lord?
01:36Baldrick, you look like a deer.
01:38Thank you, my Lord.
01:39Look a bit of a ducky yourself.
01:42Oh, God.
01:43What do you want?
01:44I was wondering if I might have the afternoon off.
01:46Of course not.
01:47Who do you think you are?
01:47What, Tyler?
01:49You can have the afternoon off when you die.
01:52Not before.
01:53Look, I want to cheer brave Sir Walter home.
01:56Oh, dear sir, on a day like today,
01:58I feel proud to be a member of the greatest kingdom in the world.
02:01And doubtless many other members of the animal kingdom
02:03feel the same way.
02:05Look, will you shut up?
02:08Bloody explorers, ponds off to mumbo-jumbo land,
02:11with a tropical disease, a suntan and a bag of brown lumpy things.
02:16What was your uncle? Everyone's got a picture of them in the lavatory.
02:19I mean, what about the people who do all the work?
02:20The servants.
02:21Now, me and the people who do all the work.
02:23I mean, look at this.
02:25What is it?
02:26I'm surprised you've forgotten, my Lord.
02:28I haven't forgotten. It's a rhetorical question.
02:30No, it's a potato.
02:33To you it's a potato, to me it's a potato.
02:36But to Sir Walter bloody Raleigh,
02:39it's country estate, fine carriages
02:41and as many girls as his tongue can cope with.
02:44He's making a fortune out of the things.
02:46People are smoking them, building houses out of them.
02:49We'll be eating them next.
02:52Stranger things have happened.
02:54Not exactly.
02:55That horse becoming Pope.
02:56Go on.
02:58Oh, God.
02:59Probably some burke with a parrot on his shoulder
03:01selling plaster gnomes of Sir Francis Drake
03:05and his gold behind.
03:08Gunky face.
03:10Gunky face.
03:11Gunky face.
03:12Gunky face.
03:14Gunky face.
03:15Gunky face.
03:15Gunky face.
03:16Gunky face.
03:16Gunky face.
03:17Ah!
03:18For me!
03:19And another thing.
03:20Why aren't you at school?
03:22Like I'd have started talking to yourself, I see.
03:25Yes, it's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation.
03:28What do you want?
03:29Well, I just looked in on my way to the palace
03:31to welcome Sir Walter home.
03:33I wondered if you cared to accompany me.
03:34I don't think I'll bother, actually.
03:36Three hours of bluff semen talk about
03:38picking the weevils out of biscuits and drinking urine
03:41is not my idea of anything.
03:43As you wish.
03:44Servant, my hat.
03:46Potato?
03:47Thanks, I do.
03:49I see you haven't succumbed to this fad
03:51of dressing up like half an allotment in Nottingham Forest.
03:55There you go, model.
03:59You have.
04:00It's probably just as well you're not coming back, Addy.
04:03You're not very popular at court at the moment
04:04and the Queen and I have much...
04:05Yes, well, I can probably leave this till tomorrow.
04:07No, no, no, no, no problem.
04:09No, I'll be coming with you.
04:10Obviously, the Queen and I are going to be the only ones
04:12even vaguely sensibly dressed.
04:15Who is it?
04:17Melchie, my lady.
04:18But stop!
04:19Close your eyes!
04:23Now, enter!
04:27Ahoy there!
04:28Me shivering matey heave-ho!
04:32Right, open your eyes.
04:34Thank you, Majesty.
04:36And, um...
04:38What's the matter, Melchie?
04:40Well, I beg your pardon, my lady.
04:42I...
04:42I was wanting to greet the gallant sailor
04:45who hallooed me as I came in.
04:47Um...
04:47Uh...
04:48Bachancius hauled anchor and sailed away.
04:51No!
04:52It was me!
04:54Majesty!
04:56Surely not!
04:58You utter creep.
05:02So...
05:04Where's this barnacle-bottomed, haddock-flavoured,
05:07bilge rat, sir?
05:08Rather a Wally Rally, then?
05:11I hear he's about as exciting as one of his potatoes.
05:15Blackhead is our frightful old lover, eh, Melchie?
05:18Well, indubitably no sea dog, ma'am.
05:21With a yo-ho-ho and perhaps I might venture a bottle of rum into the bargain.
05:27It's him!
05:28Oh, God!
05:30Do I look absolutely divine and regal and yet and at the same time
05:33very pretty and rather accessible.
05:36You are every jolly jack-tars dream, Majesty.
05:39I thought as much.
05:41If he's really gorgeous,
05:42I'm thinking of marrying him.
05:44Mum, is that not a little rash?
05:47I don't think so.
05:49He wouldn't be your first little rash if he was.
05:56Majesty!
05:58Splice me to myself, Walter!
06:01It's bucko to see you!
06:02Oh, matey!
06:03I'm sorry?
06:06She says hello.
06:08And well she might, for I have bought her gifts and dominions
06:11beyond her wildest dreams.
06:14Are you sure?
06:16Well, I have some pretty wild dreams, you know.
06:19I'm not sure what they mean, but the other day there was this enormous tree
06:22and I was sitting right on top of it.
06:25And then I drank once since I was a sausage roll.
06:28Majesty.
06:31Sorry.
06:32So exciting.
06:33Don't know what I'm saying.
06:35Oh, come on, Sir Walter.
06:36I want to hear about absolutely everything.
06:39Then prepare to hear tales of terrible hardship, endurance and woe.
06:44Hmm.
06:46Ah!
06:47We set sail from Plymouth in the spring of 1552.
06:54You remember Lord Blackadder?
06:57No.
06:58But I can see he is the sort of pasty landlubber I have always despised.
07:04Well, quite.
07:06Don't clout Sir Walter Edmund.
07:08Twice last week.
07:09I fought a man-to-hand combat with a man with two heads and no body hair.
07:15I'll warrant the most exciting thing that has happened to that limpid prawn in a whole year
07:19was the day his servant forgot to put sugar in his porridge.
07:27Oh, gosh, you've got nice legs.
07:29Well, I hold the six seas of the world in my hand.
07:34He couldn't even put six gobstoppers in his mouth.
07:38He's a complete no-hoper, isn't he, Walt?
07:40He's sat in here.
07:42Oh, my bedroom's just upstairs, you know.
07:49I apprehended Sir Walter that there were only seven seas.
07:52Ah, only numerically speaking.
07:56We sailors do not count the sea around the Cape of Good Hope.
08:00It is called the Sea of Certain Death and no sailor has crossed it alive.
08:06Well, well, well. An extraordinary coincidence.
08:09What's an extraordinary coincidence?
08:11No, it says that I was planning a jaunt around the Cape of Good Hope myself.
08:15Leaving a week on Thursday, I think.
08:18Really?
08:18Yes, and now that, um...
08:21Sorry, I've forgotten your name.
08:23...has returned and the whole court smells of fish,
08:25you have half a mind to settle just after.
08:27If you attempt that journey, you've no mind at all.
08:30Or perhaps a mind that knows no fear.
08:31Is that true, Edmund?
08:32Do you know no fear?
08:34Well, yes, I'd rather laugh in the face of fear, tweak the nose of terror.
08:39Gosh, Edmund, I've forgotten how dizzy you are.
08:42You'd never dare.
08:44Why, round the Cape, the rain beats down so hard, it makes your head bleed.
08:48So, some sort of hat is probably in order.
08:53And great dragons leap from the water and swallow ships whole.
08:57I must assume I would have packed the larger of my two shrimpinglets.
09:01Edmund, you're completely wonderful.
09:04If you do this, I'll probably marry you.
09:12Oh, yes, and who'll be your captain?
09:15To my mind, there's only one seafarer with few enough marbles to attempt that journey.
09:20Ah, yes, and who's that?
09:22Why, rum, of course. Captain Redbeard Rum.
09:25Well done. Just testing.
09:27And where would I find him on a Tuesday?
09:29Well, if I remember his habits, he's usually up the old sea dog.
09:32Ah, yes, and where is the old sea dog?
09:34Well, on Tuesdays, he's normally in bed with a Captain.
09:41Ah!
09:42Ah, ah, ah, ah-ah, ah-ah!
09:45Ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah!
09:47Ah, ah-ah...
09:47מלадdet!
09:49Ah, ha, ha, indeed.
09:52So, rum, I wish to hire you and your ship.
09:54Can we shake on it?
09:55Ahh!
09:57You have a woman's hand, מל Order!
10:00By the way to these dainty Pinkies
10:02He's never weighed anchor in a storm.
10:05Well, you're right there.
10:08I don't even skin, me lord.
10:11I'll wager it ne'er felt the lash of the cat
10:13being rubbed with salt and then flayed off by a pirate chief
10:17to make fine stockings for his best cabin boy.
10:20This is uncanny. I don't know how you do it, but you're right again.
10:24Why did I let a stupid cockle like you aboard me boat?
10:27Perhaps for the money in my purse.
10:29Ha ha! You have a woman's purse!
10:34I'll wager that purse has never been used as a rowing boat.
10:38I'll wager it's never had 16 shipwrecked mariners tossing in it.
10:43Yes, well, right again, Ron, I must say,
10:46when it comes to tales of courage, I can say I'm going to have to keep my mouth shut.
10:49Oh, you have a woman's mouth, me lord.
10:53I'll wager that mouth never had to chew through the side of a ship
10:57to escape the dreadful spindly killer fish.
10:59Yes, I must say, when I came to see you,
11:01I had no idea I was going to have to eat your ship as well as hiring her.
11:04And since you're clearly as mad as a mongoose,
11:06I'll bid you to know that.
11:08Damn courteous to the queen,
11:10you're nothing but lapdogs to a slip of a girl.
11:13Better a lapdog to a slip of a girl
11:16than a...
11:17git.
11:20So you do have some spunk in you.
11:23Don't worry, laddie.
11:24I'll come.
11:25I'll come.
11:26Well, let us set sail as soon as we can.
11:28I will fetch my first mate
11:29and return as fast as my legs will carry me.
11:32Oh, you have a woman.
11:35I'll wager those are legs
11:37that have never been sliced clean off
11:39by a falling sail
11:40and swept into the sea
11:42before your very eye.
11:43Well, neither of yours.
11:44That's fair, you're wrong.
11:48Oh, my God.
11:50Don't put you changing your mind now.
11:51Nobody else will come.
11:52The whole thing's suicide anyway.
11:53What's the first mate's name?
11:55Percy.
11:56An article cove?
11:58Yes.
11:59Well, he's a sort of wet fish.
12:02I'm not coming.
12:03I'm just not coming.
12:05I mean, of course,
12:06I'm very keen to go on the trip.
12:08It's just, unfortunately,
12:10I've got an appointment
12:11to have my nostrils plucked.
12:15Next year.
12:16Oh, I'm sorry, my lord.
12:17I thought it was
12:18because you were a complete coward.
12:20Don't be ridiculous, Baldrick.
12:22You know me.
12:23I mean,
12:24I laugh in the face of fear
12:26and tweak the nose
12:29of the dreadful spindly killer fish.
12:32I'm not one of your milksops
12:34who's scared out of his mind
12:36by the mere sight of water.
12:38Ah!
12:40That's all right.
12:41Admit it.
12:41Admit it.
12:42I'm terrified.
12:44You see, Baldrick,
12:46when I was a baby,
12:48I was savaged by a turbot.
12:53Oh, Baldrick,
12:54you can't think of a plan
12:54to get me out of this, can you?
12:56You could hide, my lord.
12:57Hide.
12:58Brilliant.
12:59Where?
13:06In the box.
13:08Which one?
13:10Ah, perfect.
13:11All right.
13:14Let's practice.
13:15Right.
13:15Edmund comes in
13:16and says,
13:17Hello, Baldrick.
13:18You haven't seen Percy, have you?
13:19And you say,
13:20No, my lord.
13:22I haven't seen him all day.
13:23Brilliant.
13:24Oh, my God.
13:25Here he comes.
13:28Oh, hello, Baldrick.
13:30Well, where the hell's
13:30that criss in Percy?
13:31You haven't seen him, have you?
13:40Yes, my lord.
13:43He's hiding in the box.
13:46Come on, jelly brain.
13:48Hurry up,
13:49otherwise we'll miss the tide.
13:52Oh, Edmund,
13:53I'm so proud.
13:54You're just my complete hero.
13:58Oh, dear.
13:59I'm going all gooey now.
14:01Mum, I'm moved.
14:03And if during my journey
14:03I could believe
14:04that occasionally
14:05you did spare me a thought
14:06and perhaps go gooey again,
14:08I would deem
14:09my certain death
14:10a minor inconvenience.
14:13Oh, Ned.
14:16I've written a poem.
14:18Madam, I'm honoured.
14:22When the night is dark
14:24and the dogs go
14:26bark
14:27when the clouds are black
14:30and the ducks go
14:32quack
14:33when the sky is blue
14:36and the cows go
14:37moo
14:40think of lovely Queenie.
14:43She'll be thinking of you.
14:44Oh, brother.
14:46It's called Edmund.
14:49Shakespeare gave me a hand
14:50with the title
14:51but the rest is all my own work.
14:53Touch and fi, my tiddly.
14:55You didn't always make
14:56such pretty speeches.
14:57Oh, Lord.
14:57Just with the twinkling of a toe
14:59since you could say nothing
14:59but Lizzie go plop, plop.
15:02Lizzie go.
15:02Oh, what have I been in, Nessie?
15:05No.
15:05I'm sure that Melchie and Wally
15:09want to say something as well.
15:10Oh, yes, indeed.
15:16Goodbye, Blackadder.
15:18I'd say bon voyage
15:18but there's no point.
15:20You'll be dead in three months.
15:22I love you, Walter.
15:23I hope you know that.
15:27Farewell, Blackadder.
15:28The foremost cartographers of the land
15:30have prepared this for you.
15:31It's a map of the area
15:32that you'll be traversing.
15:36I'd be very grateful
15:38if you could just fill it in
15:39as you go along.
15:40Goodbye.
15:42Ah-ha!
15:43What's that?
15:44For two breamy hearties!
15:46The wind is in the sails,
15:49the oars are in the rocks,
15:51and we must away!
15:54Lady, it is my captain.
15:55Long on beard, short on legs.
15:58Oh, captain,
15:59I wish you luck
16:00from the bottom of my heart.
16:02You have a woman's bottom, my lady.
16:06I'll wager
16:07that sweet round pair of peaches
16:09has never been forced
16:10twixt two splintered planks
16:12to plug a leak
16:13and save a ship.
16:15It certainly hasn't,
16:16and I'm quite pleased about it.
16:18Anyway, what's wrong
16:19with women's bottoms?
16:20Not big enough, ma.
16:22Ah, mine might be.
16:25Ah!
16:27In that case,
16:28my little puddin' of delight
16:29lets beat about the bush
16:31no longer.
16:31I know I'm only a bluff old cove
16:34with no legs
16:35and a beard
16:35you can lose a badger in.
16:37But if you'll take me,
16:38I'm willing to be
16:39captain of your ship
16:40forever.
16:41What do you say?
16:42No!
16:43Yes, please.
16:44I'll be back.
16:46We'll all be back.
16:48Ah-ha!
16:49Then this is it.
16:51Oh,
16:52have you got clean underwear
16:54and dirty foreign food
16:56and watch out for strange men
16:57and discover me
16:59a country
16:59and bring me back
17:00a vegetable
17:01and all
17:02everything.
17:03Madam,
17:04I shall do all I can.
17:06Farewell!
17:09And, uh,
17:10don't wait up.
17:14Gosh!
17:16Well,
17:16that's the last
17:17we'll see of him.
17:18In three months' time,
17:19he'll be dead as a
17:20dead dodo.
17:22Oh, Sir Walter,
17:23really.
17:24Ha-ha-ha!
17:25Sir Walter!
17:30Ha-ha!
17:33Ha-ha-ha!
17:37I'm not joining us
17:38in the ha-ha-s,
17:39was it?
17:40No.
17:42I'm thinking of England
17:43and the girl
17:44I left behind me.
17:45Oh, God,
17:45I didn't know
17:46you had a girl.
17:47Oh, yes.
17:48Lady Caroline Fairfax.
17:50Caroline!
17:51I didn't know
17:51you knew her.
17:52Oh, yes.
17:53I even touched her once.
17:55Touched her what?
17:59No, once.
18:00In a corridor.
18:01I've never heard
18:02her call that before.
18:04Sir, when you get home
18:05in six months,
18:05you'll be a hero.
18:07She might even let you
18:08get your hands on her twice.
18:09I fear not.
18:11Why not?
18:12Because we'll never
18:13get home.
18:14We're doomed.
18:16DOOMED!
18:17Condemned to a watery grave
18:18with a captain
18:19who's legless rubbish.
18:21I've hardly touched a drop.
18:23No, no.
18:24No, I mean
18:24you haven't got any legs.
18:26Oh, yes.
18:27You're right there.
18:28Carry on.
18:28Sorry.
18:30Oh, God.
18:32We've got no hope.
18:33No hope of ever returning.
18:35On the contrary,
18:36we are certain to return.
18:37What?
18:38Because, me old salts,
18:39we are not going to
18:40the Cape of Good Hope
18:41at all.
18:42What?
18:42We are, in fact,
18:43going to France.
18:45France!
18:46Oh, but, Evan,
18:48surely France
18:48has already been discovered.
18:50Why, the French, for a start.
18:53Precisely.
18:53It's a trick.
18:54We just camp down
18:55in the Dordogne
18:56for six months,
18:56get a good sometime,
18:57come home,
18:58pretend we've been
18:58around the Cape
18:59and get all the glory.
19:00Hooray!
19:01A masterly plan,
19:02me young master.
19:03And one that leads me
19:04to make an announcement
19:05meself.
19:06What's that, Ron?
19:06Truth is,
19:07I don't know
19:08the way to the Cape
19:09of Good Hope, anyway.
19:10Well, what are you
19:11going to do?
19:11Oh, what I usually do.
19:13Sail round and round
19:14the Isle of Wight
19:15till everyone gets dizzy.
19:16Let me step for home.
19:18You old rascal.
19:19Still, who cares?
19:20The day after tomorrow,
19:21we shall be in Calais.
19:22Captain,
19:23set sail for France.
19:25Hooray!
19:28So, you don't know
19:30the way to France,
19:32are you?
19:34No!
19:35I must confess
19:36that, too.
19:38Bugger!
19:43He's only been gone
19:45three days
19:45and I'm missing him
19:46already.
19:48Well, perhaps,
19:49Mum,
19:50I might amuse you
19:51still further
19:52with tales of my
19:53adventures.
19:54Like what?
19:55Perhaps you would
19:56like to hear the one
19:57about the mad pirate
19:58king, whose crew
19:59consisted entirely
20:00of men called
20:01Roger.
20:02I did.
20:03Oh.
20:04Well, maybe
20:05I could distract you
20:07with the tale
20:08of the time
20:09I fell into the water
20:10and was almost
20:11eaten by a
20:11hammerhead shark.
20:13Yes.
20:14All right.
20:14Try that one.
20:16Well, Mum,
20:19I fell into the water
20:20and was almost
20:21eaten by a shark.
20:23And the funny thing is,
20:25its head
20:26was exactly
20:27the same shape
20:28as a hammer.
20:30Oh, God!
20:32You'd better come up
20:33with some presents
20:34or I'm going to go
20:35off explorers
20:35completely, you know.
20:37Mum?
20:38And I'll tell you
20:38something else.
20:40Edmund was right.
20:41You do smell of fish.
20:43Pee!
20:45River!
20:45River!
20:46River!
20:47Look, there's no need
20:48to panic.
20:49Someone in the crew
20:50will know how to
20:51steer this thing.
20:52The crew,
20:53me lord?
20:54Yes, the crew.
20:56What crew?
20:59I was under the impression
21:00that it was common
21:01maritime practice
21:02for a ship
21:03to have a crew.
21:04Opinion is divided
21:05on the subject.
21:06Really?
21:07Yes.
21:08All the other
21:09captains say it is,
21:10I say it isn't.
21:12Oh, God,
21:13mad as a brush.
21:17Sir Walter's death
21:18warrant for your
21:19signature, Majesty.
21:20Oh, good.
21:23Any news of Edmund?
21:24Well, madam,
21:25if they're on course,
21:27they should be nearing
21:28the urine drinking
21:30stage by now.
21:32Don't be horrid,
21:33Melchie.
21:34Edmund would rather die.
21:36I fear that may be
21:37wishful thinking,
21:38Majesty.
21:43Enter.
21:45So soon?
21:47You said today.
21:49Yes, well,
21:51I'm not feeling very
21:52thirsty at the moment.
21:53I mean, I had an egg
21:54cup full of stagnant
21:55water three weeks ago.
21:57Oh, all right,
21:58come on,
21:59let's get on with this.
22:00Shall we drink each
22:01other's or stick
22:01to our own?
22:03Sorry, sorry, Melchie.
22:05Is Captain Rum
22:06joining us for this
22:07bring a sample party
22:08or was he going to
22:09see this one out?
22:10Oh, no,
22:11he's been swigging his
22:12for ages.
22:12He says he likes it.
22:14Actually, come to think
22:15of it, he started
22:16before the water ran out.
22:18Oh, God.
22:19Well, let's get on
22:20with it.
22:23It's always the same,
22:24isn't it?
22:24You get it all keyed up
22:25and then you can't
22:26put it in.
22:29What on two bottles?
22:32All right, then,
22:32pour it out.
22:33Come on.
22:34Then it should come to
22:35this drinking
22:36Baldrick's water.
22:37Say when.
22:37When?
22:42Down the hatch.
22:45Land ahoy!
22:49Ah, France at last!
22:52There are my young master
22:53through fair wings
22:54and fine seamanship.
22:56Our vessel is once more
22:57edged up on the shores
22:58of old Blighty.
23:00Hooray!
23:00By lucky chance
23:01we have landed
23:02at Southampton Dock.
23:03Hooray!
23:04Very well.
23:05Last one up the old sea dog
23:07gets a lick of the cat.
23:10They look much like
23:11Southampton to me, my lord.
23:13What?
23:14Full of streams
23:15of molten lava
23:16and that steamy mangrove swamp
23:18and that crowd
23:19of beckoning natives
23:20rubbing their tummies
23:21and pointing to a large pot.
23:24Oh, God.
23:33Where are they now?
23:34Well, madam,
23:36if they haven't been eaten
23:37by cannibals
23:38they should be back
23:39any minute now.
23:40Mars!
23:41And you're alive!
23:44Oh, yes.
23:45And your silly friend?
23:47Lord Persimuth.
23:48And your monkey?
23:50Persimuth.
23:51But where is Captain Rum?
23:53Ah, bad news, milady.
23:55Rum is dead.
23:57No!
23:59Do not despair, good woman.
24:01He died a hero's death
24:02giving his life
24:04that his friends
24:05might live.
24:06And that his enemies
24:07might have something
24:07to go with their potatoes.
24:10What's he being?
24:11What's he being?
24:12Yes, your fiancé
24:13was only a third-rate sailor
24:14but a first-rate
24:15second course.
24:17Oh!
24:18However, we did manage
24:19to save something
24:20off him
24:21as a memento.
24:23So.
24:24Oh!
24:26My lucky stars,
24:27I shall wear it always
24:29to remind me of him.
24:32However, ma'am,
24:33I am now returned
24:35and my mind
24:37cannot help remembering
24:38talk of wedding bells.
24:40No, I'm completely
24:42bored with explorers
24:43and if you haven't
24:44brought me any presents
24:45I'm going to have you executed.
24:47Ma'am?
24:48I only let Riley off
24:49because he blubbed
24:50on his way to the block.
24:53Presents, please.
24:54Ah, yes, ma'am.
24:56Um, yes.
24:57Well, there was
24:58one thing, ma'am.
24:59Good.
25:00A most extraordinary gift
25:01from the island paradise
25:02we visited.
25:03Hurry up!
25:05Ah.
25:08What is it?
25:09A stick.
25:11Is it a stick,
25:13Lord Blackadder?
25:13Ah, yes, ma'am.
25:14But it is a very special stick
25:16because when you throw it away
25:19it comes back.
25:22Well, that's no good, is it?
25:24Because when I throw things away
25:26I don't want them to come back.
25:28You!
25:29Get rid of it.
25:30Certainly, ma'am.
25:34What else have you brought?
25:36Um, yes.
25:37Well, there was very little time
25:39what with picking the weevils
25:40out of biscuits and, uh...
25:41Melchia, what did I do
25:41with that spare death warrant?
25:43Well, I...
25:43Oh!
25:46Oh, Edward, it's wonderful!
25:48But what about Melchia Raleigh?
25:50You must have brought
25:51something for them as well.
26:05Uh...
26:06There was one thing, ma'am.
26:07Good.
26:08Um...
26:08A fine wine
26:10from the Far East.
26:11A most delicious beverage.
26:14Taste, boys.
26:15Uh, tell us what you think.
26:20Oh, it certainly has
26:22plenty of nose.
26:23Oh, yes.
26:24This is very familiar.
26:26I...
26:28I'm sure you'll be glad to hear
26:29that there is an
26:30inexhaustible supplier.
26:32LAUGHTER