The Side Hustle Cost Me My Marriage | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 46) - video Dailymotion

Lerin Gaines

The Side Hustle Cost Me My Marriage | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 46)  Featuring: Wisdom Wednesday, Mentorship Series  Wednesday | July 29th, 2026  Broadcasting on all social media platforms @LERINGAINES  https://leringaines.com https://linktr.ee/leringaines https://www.facebook.com/leringaines http://instagram.com/leringaines https://www.tiktok.com/@leringaines http://twitter.com/leringaines https://www.youtube.com/@leringaines https://www.twitch.tv/leringaines https://kick.com/leringaines https://dailymotion.com/LerinGaines  Song of The Day: "Another Relationship" by Syleena Johnson Released 2005 | Chapter 3: The Flesh  Burning Questions for Reflections! What are you sacrificing in the name of financial success - and would the people you love choose that sacrifice for you?  Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions... Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com  DM on any social media platform @LERINGAINES (Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, KICK, Twitch, DailyMotion)  Check out my FREE Monthly digital Newsletter 'Whispers of Wisdom' for updates, exclusives, and inspiration!  #Facebook #Instagram #TikTok #X #YouTube #KICK #Twitch #DailyMotion #DebtFreeLiving #FinancialCoach #LerinGaines #411Podcast #BurningQuestions #BlackDiamondConsultations #VacationWithMe #WhispersofWisdom #DISC6 #Vitality  DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.  411 PODCAST DISC 6: Vitality Track 46: The Side Hustle Cost Me My Marriage ©️ 2026 Black Diamond Consultations Network LerinGaines.com

Transcript

03:13Not just financially, but spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

03:19Every episode is part of a journey across our weekly mentorship series, Spiritual Sundays, Mental Mondays, Transformational Tuesdays, Wisdom Wednesdays,

03:30Coaching Sessions Thursdays, and Financial Fridays.

03:33Each day holds space for wisdom, clarity, and real conversations.

03:38We want you to join in on the conversations with us.

03:41Connect across all social media platforms at Laryngaines.

03:46We are broadcasting live on Facebook, YouTube, Kick, Twitch, X, and Dailymotion.

03:55Text your thoughts anytime to our official hotline at 609-200-1098.

04:02So, grab your journal, open your mind, and prepare to go beyond the surface.

04:07Here, we don't just talk, we transform lives.

04:10And now, here's your guide through it all, entrepreneur, mentor, and financial coach, Laren Gaines.

04:28What's going on, what's going on?

04:31Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome on in to another episode of the 4-in-1 podcast.

04:38I have to tell you that I am so excited to be here, and I'm so thankful to be here.

04:45I have just this new energy about the movement of this show, and I most certainly could not do it

04:55without each and every one of you out there listening, people dropping in the comments.

05:03I mean, the list goes on and on, from the love on Facebook, from the love on Dailymotion.

05:12I just want to say thank you all so much, and the best thing that you can do is to

05:17share this podcast out.

05:19Please go ahead and share this with somebody, tag a friend, text a friend, do whatever you can do to

05:26help support this movement.

05:28And, of course, I most certainly could not do it without each and every one of you.

05:32I most certainly could not do it without my executive producer.

05:37I want to give a very special thank you to God for just allowing me to be here, giving me

05:43another day, giving me another opportunity to come out here and give you all the 4-in-1.

05:49I want to say what's up to SOS.

05:52I want to say what's up to Nene.

05:54I definitely enjoyed our conversation, and it was great catching up with you.

06:00I also want to give a very special thank you to my team, the people behind the scenes who helped

06:06me make this podcast what it is.

06:10I want to say a very special thank you to John.

06:14Thank you for all of just making us look fly out here.

06:18All of the graphics, I could not do that by myself.

06:23I want to thank the special guests who came through.

06:26I want to thank Mr. Saeed for hooking me up with these special guests.

06:31And there's so many new people that will be introduced to the podcast as well, people coming through.

06:41I want to say thank you to all of the platforms out there, the countries that we have started to

06:52touch base with.

06:56I can't even name them all.

06:57Let's just be honest.

06:59I can't name them all.

07:00The doors have opened, and this just gives me a clear indication of what, you know, next year is going

07:09to be like, which is going to be even bigger and better.

07:16The photographers, who definitely have helped with the project as well, I want to say thank you.

07:24This six could not be what it is without all of the, you know, the wonderful pictures and everything that

07:31was brought to the forefront to make this thing work.

07:35I want to thank my faith for supporting me as much as you possibly can.

07:40I know it's different.

07:42I know it might be a little strange, as God called it.

07:46You know, we are very peculiar individuals.

07:49So I know that it's not easy.

07:53So thank you to my family for supporting me during this process as well.

07:59And, yeah, I'm going to get off of that.

08:01I'm going to get off of that.

08:02I'm just thankful to be here.

08:05Thank you to the people who mentor me.

08:10You know, I'm a mentor, but listen, behind the scenes, I have conversations, and I look up to people, and

08:17I study, you know, behind the scenes.

08:20So thank you to the people who are content creators that I look up to, some of the greatest speakers

08:28out there in the world.

08:30Les Brown, amazing.

08:34Myron Golden, amazing.

08:37The Wall Street Trapper, amazing.

08:40You know, I have to give credit to the people that I looked up to, you know, in my young

08:48age.

08:50I have a radio show, I have a radio show, a podcast, and my voice is on places that I

08:59never thought that it would be.

09:01I'm thankful.

09:01I heart radio.

09:02I'm thankful.

09:04And I remember looking up to some of the greatest listening to them constantly.

09:11This is not something that happened overnight.

09:13I love talk radio.

09:16I'm going to take it back to, you know, my roots here in New Jersey.

09:20I would listen to New Jersey 101.5, day in and day out.

09:24Dennis and Judy, I understood the art of what it is, the radio show.

09:31Steve Harvey, I listened to his morning show for decades.

09:35And, you know, that's where some of the burning questions, you know, came from.

09:44Wendy Williams, the queen, you know, you know, I just enjoyed, you know, her art of radio.

09:55I've studied so many people and I had no idea that this was going to become what it is.

10:03And we are just getting started.

10:05And, again, without all of the people out there, it wouldn't have been a special thank you to Mary J.

10:2035 years for What's the 4-in-1 album.

10:24And, you know, my creativity was born around that era when I was around 11 years old.

10:33And it hasn't stopped since.

10:36So I'm just in a thankful mode.

10:39And we hear episode 46, 46 episodes.

10:44We have been doing our thing this year.

10:47And I got some surprises for next year, too, that is just going to take us to a whole nother

10:53level.

10:54But we are on episode 46, The Side Hustle Costs Me My Marriage.

10:59Ladies and gentlemen, this is going to be a deep one.

11:01And so buckle up, get ready, because we're getting ready to go on a ride.

11:05And for those of you out there that got side hustles, people who are married, thinking about getting married, engaged,

11:10and all of this other extra stuff, you might want to tune in.

11:15So y'all ready to do this?

11:17Let's go ahead and get right on into this song of the day.

11:32Another Relationship.

11:34Yes, that's right.

11:36I said it.

11:37Another Relationship by Selena Johnson, released in 2005 off of her album Chapter 3, The Flesh.

11:45Speaking of the Flesh, see, that's it right there.

11:51That's what will get you in trouble when you are so focused on the flesh and you end up getting

11:58wrapped up and you end up getting trapped up into certain situations because you weren't coming from the spiritual realm.

12:06You were too focused on the worldly realm.

12:10You were caught up in the world.

12:13You were too focused on the outer appearance.

12:16See, God judges man by the inner appearance, but men, man, what we do is we focus on the outer

12:24appearance.

12:25You want to see how well he or she looks.

12:28You want to see what they can do.

12:30It is so interesting.

12:32I was just scrolling through social media before I decided to come out here and somebody is sitting here posting

12:40things talking about, I have so many people that I can get wrapped up and trapped up with.

12:46You know, of course, I'm remixing it.

12:48I have so many people that I can get wrapped up and trapped up with, but the one that I'm

12:53going to choose is the one that is going to pay my rent.

12:58See, before we decide to get wrapped up and trapped up, we need to make sure that the person we

13:04are saying that we are going to commit ourselves to, saying that we are going to put ourselves out on

13:10the line, saying I do, all of these things, did you study the person?

13:16And most importantly, did they study you?

13:20And are you willing to take on that responsibility?

13:23Because when you get wrapped up and you get trapped up, it's either going to be one or two things.

13:28Either that relationship, that situation, that person is going to either be an asset or it's going to be a

13:36liability in your life.

13:38And trust and believe, ladies and gentlemen, and I'll say that again, trust and believe that the minute that you

13:44say I do, your life will never be the same.

13:47And for the single people out there, for the people who don't have children, did not start a family, you

13:53might be thinking about it.

13:54The minute that you decide to lay down and have a child with somebody else, I don't care whether it's

14:00the man or the woman, your life as you see it here today will never be the same.

14:10Now, let's get back on track here.

14:13Song of the day, another relationship.

14:15Before you got wrapped up and before you got trapped up into this situation, did you pick the right person?

14:21Because is this person going to get jealous because you want to go ahead and level up?

14:26Is this person going to get jealous of you and your new career path?

14:31Is this person going to get or feel a certain way because you're not spending that much time with them?

14:38Because they're looking at that career as another relationship.

14:42Meanwhile, the relationship is taking care of you and them plus them.

14:48Is this person going to feel a certain way because you decide to better yourself and go back to school?

14:56See, there's so many terms and songs and hip-hop and R&B that say you have to be a

15:02ride or die, meaning that you are going to rock with me until the wheels fall off.

15:06I'm not here to keep you along, but this is important.

15:10Did you pick the right person?

15:12See, I had a mentor tell me,

15:15Laren, you ain't got to worry because after all of the stuff that you've been through, you're going to know

15:19how to pick them today.

15:20See, I don't know who I'm speaking to.

15:22I'm only speaking from real life experiences, but yeah, there was a point in my life where I didn't know

15:26how to pick anything.

15:29I didn't even know how to pick and choose myself.

15:34Is that person going to feel a certain way when you decide to level up?

15:38Is there going to be some sort of competition or are you going to be that true ride or die

15:43that is rock with me whether I have something or I don't have something?

15:47And if I don't have something, are we going to level up together and are you going to be right

15:50by my side?

15:51See, there is no walking in front and you walk behind.

15:55You have to walk side by side because that's what happens when two become one.

16:00But most of the time, we get wrapped up and trapped up into these situations and relationships with the wrong

16:06type of person because we are unevenly yoked.

16:12Song of the day.

16:13Another relationship.

16:14Selena Johnson.

16:15Off of her album, The Flesh.

16:18Let's not get caught up in the flesh today, people.

16:21Released in 2005.

16:23Let's go.

16:24Let's go.

16:33I could have went on and on and on, but I decided to pull up a little bit because, yeah,

16:39this is going to be a good show tonight.

16:41Speaking about people who want to be entrepreneurs, people who want to better themselves.

16:47Is it good when you're an entrepreneur?

16:50Listen, I'm coming from the same situation.

16:51So I understand when you have to have a good work life balance.

16:54And I'm focusing on that today because I can get caught up because it's the passion and it's the love

17:01of what I am doing.

17:04And most entrepreneurs, when you birth something, that is your child, that's your baby.

17:09You are passionate about it.

17:11You love to do it.

17:13And sometimes you lose track of time and you want to make sure that you have somebody who is supportive,

17:19caring, understanding.

17:21Wow.

17:22Anyway, like I said, I can go in, but I'm going to pull up a little bit.

17:28Let's go ahead and reach out to my friend of the show, family.

17:32Could not do it without him.

17:35Author, poet, Burman 313.

17:52What's going on?

17:53What's going on?

17:55Hey, how's it going?

17:57It's going good.

17:58It's going good.

17:59Weather is treating me good here.

18:01How about you?

18:02That's good.

18:03It's going good, man.

18:04Just staying, just staying cool.

18:08That's it.

18:09Are you bringing that good heat down here?

18:12Because we could heat up a little bit.

18:14Man.

18:15Hey, I surely hope so real soon.

18:19Man, it's been so hot.

18:20I go outside.

18:22The only time I go outside is if I have to.

18:26Okay, so that's what they, you know, they're actually telling those who, like myself, sign, you know, they have allergy,

18:34sinus problems, you know, or any other health issues, you know, go out if you have to.

18:42Because it's just this heat with the Sahara dust is not making it very pleasant.

18:49So hot is it over there?

18:53Right now, it's, you know, they say it's 97, but they say with the heat index, it's like 103.

18:59And it's been like that all week.

19:02And it's going to be like that the rest of the week.

19:04Like I said, you know, this is something, you know, that's going to go on to at least, you know,

19:12at least September, October.

19:15It lasts that one.

19:17Yeah.

19:17That is.

19:18And August, August is hotter than July.

19:21And we've been like, you know, with the heat index, we've been hitting 100 almost every day.

19:27So you can imagine what it's like.

19:31It can be very uncomfortable, you know.

19:34Don't get me wrong.

19:35I enjoy the heat, but sometimes it just can make things very, very uneasy.

19:43Yeah, yeah.

19:44And you say in September is hot, too.

19:46So what are the temps like in September?

19:49Uh, same way, you know, it gets in the 90s, you know, constantly.

19:53The heat, the heat index is not, not really that bad.

19:58But, you know, you can still, you know, you, you, it's something that you can bear a little bit better

20:03than you can like right now.

20:05And, you know, you got the storms coming in.

20:08We, you know, had that one storm, which all we got was a bunch of rain, you know, and lost

20:15power, you know, a couple of times for, you know,

20:18just a few minutes, but, you know, we, we get that flooding and, um, you know, August is going to

20:26be, you know, it's just going to be constantly hot and muggy.

20:31And, you know, hey, this is a time when, like I said, man, I got all my shorts out and

20:36laid out, man, because, uh, wearing long pants is not comfortable.

20:41Yeah, no, that's craziness.

20:42I don't understand that.

20:44Mm-mm, I ain't doing that.

20:45I'll tell you, I saw some craziness in, in, in, in Vegas, people wearing long shorts and sweatpants and stuff

20:53like that.

20:53I was like, that's crazy.

20:56But, you know what, it's because they're, they're, they're used to that though.

20:59Cause at nighttime, now it cools off in Vegas.

21:03Nighttime, it gets cool.

21:06I didn't experience it when I was there and I'm glad because it was at least 80 at night and

21:11it stayed that way.

21:13Okay with that.

21:13But, uh, okay.

21:15Now, now, now I've been there in December and I don't know what, what was worse, Jersey or Vegas at

21:23that time.

21:23But I'll tell you, I won't do that again.

21:26Yes.

21:30No, that's, that's just how it is out that way.

21:34And I, I know for sure in the desert, it gets cold at night cause I've had, well, what you

21:40can't, you know,

21:41you're not allowed to be in the desert to after a certain time, you know, you got to get out

21:47the desert.

21:48Yeah.

21:49And I'll tell you, no, I, I was in, um, Arizona too, in January.

21:57And I was quite, quite, um, intrigued by that temperature first thing in the morning.

22:03Now heated up towards the afternoon.

22:06But first thing in the morning, I was like, nah, I'm good.

22:08And I'll wait till, I'll wait till the sun comes up.

22:13Well, you know, we're here, you know, like here in the mornings, it's, it's in the eighties.

22:18You know, like I said, you, you can step outside at seven or eight o'clock in the morning.

22:24And it's like 80 easily.

22:27That's what's up.

22:28And then by the, you know, then it goes up, it goes up, you know, then it's a point a

22:33day where it's, it's a steady hundred.

22:37And then it may cool off maybe a little.

22:42That's why, you know, I love going to the beach, man, because being on the beach, it can, it can

22:49be a hundred, man.

22:51And with that, with the waves and that wind blowing, you can't even feel it.

22:57That's what's up.

22:58That sounds good.

22:59I don't, I don't know why I get caught up in the weather.

23:02I swear, like, you know what?

23:05In my past life, I must've been a weatherman or something.

23:07I don't understand it.

23:08I don't get it.

23:10I don't get it.

23:12I don't know.

23:15So.

23:17We here.

23:18Are you ready to get into the money hacks?

23:23What, what number you got?

23:25Oh, let me see.

23:2777.

23:30That's a good number.

23:31Good number.

23:32Let's see what we got here.

23:36We've kind of been down this journey before, but let's, let's, let's do this again real quick.

23:43We talking about.

23:45Real estate.

23:47So any real estate agent you are considering should base their suggested list price on a

23:53thorough market analysis that reflects current trends.

23:56This analysis should be part of every agent's pitch to you before you sign a leasing agreement.

24:03Do not accept a verbal pitch.

24:05You want to see in writing what the agent is using to determine the list price.

24:09It should reflect sales in your neighborhood, ideally your street, if possible.

24:13That have occurred in the past month or two.

24:17The older the comp, the more you need to know about the current trend and whether homes are

24:24selling faster or slower and whether the sales price is trending higher or lower relative to the list price.

24:32That gives you an important sense of momentum in your market.

24:38I don't have much to say about this here because when it comes to selling and buying homes, all of

24:45that process there.

24:48I'm around.

24:50I'll make sure that I'm prepared for it.

24:52The first time I didn't know what I was doing.

24:54And when I was selling my home, I didn't know what I was doing.

24:57I was just thankful to get the hell up out of there.

25:01So, Burb, I don't know what you have to say about it.

25:10I don't have anything because I've always rented.

25:16You know, so and don't get me wrong.

25:19I did try to get homes in the past and it was always a roadblock.

25:26And, you know, I really say, you know, that was a blessing.

25:30That was truly a blessing that them roadblocks was there because I probably, you know, I ain't no problem to

25:38it.

25:38The way things went during my life, I'd have lost both of them.

25:43Both of them, not because I did anything wrong, but just because of the situations I was in.

25:51So, you know, I don't have, it's nothing much I can say because I never bought a home.

25:58I never sold a home.

26:00So, there you go.

26:02And I'll tell you this, it is stressful either way, especially when you don't know what you're doing.

26:07And just like I read, you know, you got to make sure that it's written and not verbal and the

26:13pitch and all this other stuff.

26:14I ain't know nothing about any of that stuff and very stressful.

26:17And I'll tell you that if your health ain't on point, it could take you out.

26:22And either way, people get crazy over trying to buy a house and they get crazy over trying to sell

26:27a house.

26:28And what I have to say today is absolutely not.

26:31We're not playing that game today like that.

26:33I will be prepared and on point going forward.

26:40So, we are headed to Portland, Oregon.

26:44I've never been to Oregon.

26:44You ever been there?

26:46Yeah, I've been there.

26:47When I was working, I used to do – oh, my God.

26:55You got me down, man.

26:56But we used to go, you know, like when storms came through and, you know, didn't repair like floods, especially

27:04floods, hurricane.

27:06I did that, you know, where we would go and clean up.

27:11I didn't stay long there, but, you know, it was a couple days.

27:17You know, got in, got out, and, hey, never got a chance to see any of the cities.

27:23Yeah, I don't know nothing about it, but it don't sound like it's too exciting in Oregon.

27:28But maybe it is.

27:29Well, I know now they say that, you know, at least Portland is one of the worst homeless cities.

27:37It's where – and when they say it's worse than San Francisco and L.A., I definitely don't want to

27:44go because I've seen both of their – you know, how it is there.

27:48But, yeah, that's what I've been hearing.

27:52Interesting.

27:53Well, we are going to Portland, Oregon, and Marcus says,

28:25But something else was disappearing.

28:28Me.

28:29One Friday night, my wife asked if I'd be home for dinner.

28:32I told her I had three more rides to finish because there was a concert downtown and surge pricing was

28:39too good to pass up.

28:40She didn't argue.

28:42She just said okay.

28:44Looking back, that okay wasn't agreement.

28:47It was resignation.

28:49A few months later, my 10-year-old son asked me if I was working again that weekend.

28:53Before I could answer, he says, I already know.

28:57That hurt me more than I expected.

29:00Last fall, my wife asked for a separation.

29:03She said something I'll never forget.

29:05You gave us everything we asked for except yourself.

29:09I was speechless.

29:10I had become so focused on providing financially that I stopped being emotionally present.

29:16I thought success meant earning more.

29:18I never stopped to ask whether the people I love needed more money or more of me.

29:24We're in counseling now.

29:25The business is still operating, but boundaries.

29:29These belong to the family.

29:32Dinner happens at the table instead of through text messages.

29:35I'm still rebuilding trust.

29:37My question is this.

29:39How do you pursue financial goals without allowing them to quietly replace the life those goals were supposed to support?

29:47What do you have for Mr. Marcus?

29:50You know, there's so many people I know that went down this road, and I've always said, you've got to

30:02make time for everything.

30:04It kind of made me think about, you know, my marriage.

30:10My marriage is my marriage, and I tried to, you never, you know, for whatever reason, the person that I

30:19chose was never happy with how I spent my time.

30:24And with him, he's saying that I think he was just doing a little bit over, you know, trying to

30:31do three jobs.

30:32And he's telling her it's for us.

30:37But then again, she's not seeing that because he's always busy.

30:43And then, you know, you got a son that comes up and asks you, and then he said, I already

30:49know the answer.

30:52And that's what made me stop doing one of my jobs because my son was growing up, going to high

30:57school, playing sports.

31:00And I know one time I had to go out of town.

31:04He said, he said, I understand, Dad.

31:06No, go, I understand.

31:08Everything be all right.

31:09And when I got back, some of the coaches was like, oh, man, he said, you missed what your son

31:16did.

31:17And I'm all, yeah, they said, yeah.

31:19He set a school record for the longest touchdown for his class, that class.

31:25And I'm like, really?

31:26They said, yeah, I said, he got 100 yards on a pass.

31:30And that there, right there, I said, man, you know what?

31:33I'm done doing restoration work.

31:37That right there.

31:38And I start spending more time with him, which I always did because he always said, he said, Dad, I

31:45understand.

31:46He said, you're trying to make money to make it better for us around here so we can move out

31:51of these apartments and possibly move into a home.

31:54I'm like, yeah, OK.

31:56He had that.

31:56He had that understanding because I talked to him about it.

31:59To me, I don't think this guy was really talking to his family the way he should have been explaining

32:06to him the reason why I'm working all of this.

32:13And I'm like, OK, so when you and her first got together, you weren't doing all of this.

32:22Now you started doing it, but you're not explaining to her the very reasons why you're doing this.

32:32Yeah, I think there's some missing pieces here.

32:36Like you said, there are either no explanation or there's no buy in on her part.

32:40And I want to take it back to where he says, I'm doing it for us.

32:45Well, that's one thing.

32:46And I commend you for saying that you told her that you were doing it for us.

32:49But to the missus in this situation, are you doing it for y'all, too?

32:55Are you doing it for us?

32:56Because where is that ride or die factor coming?

32:59Where is your support?

33:00I didn't hear anything about doing no ride shares, Uber and Lyft and all this other stuff to help the

33:08lawn service, too.

33:09I didn't hear anything about her working on Saturdays, doing an office paperwork.

33:14This is what I talk about when I say you have to make sure that you are with the right

33:18person.

33:19I don't know what this dynamic is.

33:21I don't know what this relationship is like, but it seems like he's running this business by himself.

33:26Now, unfortunately, when you are in a marriage, whether it's fortunately or unfortunately, in his case, it might be unfortunate.

33:33But that is the first business.

33:36You got to clear that first business.

33:38So, like you said, Birdman, communication, explanation, like y'all needed to have a board meeting and make sure that

33:45this was good, like with this business.

33:49Exactly.

33:51That's what I'm talking about.

33:53Because, I mean, I have friends who have worked like this, but their wives understand what they're doing, and, you

34:04know, they're doing their part, too.

34:06I have a friend, and, you know, he does what he does, and his wife does hair, you know, to

34:14help out.

34:15And then they take time off, and, man, they go to Vegas.

34:21They travel together.

34:23He makes that time.

34:25And, you know, that's the thing you have to do.

34:30And I've always done that.

34:31I mean, I was like, okay, it's time to take a break.

34:34Hey, let's go to the beach this weekend.

34:37Or let's go visit some family friends in Mississippi or, you know, wherever.

34:44Or, you know, just something with the family.

34:48Have some family time.

34:49Because when you don't have family time, everybody, especially, you know, if you ain't spending time with the wife, she's

34:56going to think, okay, well, you ain't spending time with me.

34:58You're spending time somewhere else.

35:02Is she jealous of the joke that this lawn service business is another relationship?

35:07And here's the thing.

35:09I'm taking Marcus's side because if she did her part and stopped acting crazy thinking it's another relationship and being

35:17jealous, she could help him with certain things, which could get him to free up some of his time.

35:22And then he would have more time with the family.

35:26Now, he's trying to pay off the house, debt.

35:29Things are getting good.

35:30Debt is shrinking.

35:32And then homegirl just want to black out and get crazy.

35:36Yeah.

35:37But I'm curious.

35:38How did you get in debt?

35:41You know, we talk about this every week about being in debt.

35:49So evidently, something had to happen for you to be in debt.

35:54You know, when people start these businesses, they go into debt to start a business, which is no good.

36:01Right.

36:02They hear these stories.

36:03Oh, I just went and got a credit card and I blacked out and I purchased stuff and started a

36:09business off of a credit card.

36:11Sometimes that happens, but yeah, more so it doesn't.

36:15But you're absolutely right.

36:17How did you get into debt?

36:18I heard that you were paying off a house.

36:21I'm sure that had something to do with it.

36:22I don't know if there's any student loan debt or anything or credit cards.

36:27But yeah, well, if he got a lawn service, that can be too, because of the fact is you got

36:37to have the right equipment to do your yards.

36:41Right.

36:42You know, I mean, you have to have a riding lawn.

36:48Most most lawn services company, I know one day at least got one riding lawn mower.

36:55They got a blower.

36:55They got an edger.

36:57You he got all of these things.

37:00And some people when people, you know, the funny thing is people think it's easy to start a business, but

37:07it's not because you have to sit down and you you have to plan first before you jump out there

37:14and say, oh, I'm going to start this business.

37:16Because if you don't plan, you're going to be ready.

37:18Like the situation he's in, that's what you're going to be in.

37:23Yeah.

37:23Count up the cost.

37:26That's in in Luke.

37:29I don't know the right scripture.

37:31I can't recite it, but basically you'll be foolish if you decide to start something without counting up the cost

37:39to build a home because you don't even know if you have enough material to finish it.

37:44Exactly.

37:46And that's that's that that happens.

37:48That happens a lot.

37:50Man, you see a lot of these you'd be asking, oh, why this building here ain't finished?

37:55Hey, yeah.

37:56Guarantee you.

37:58Yeah.

37:59It's something, you know, it's financial.

38:01I remember I know I'm getting kind of getting off, but I remember when Maxwell was coming out with one

38:07of his albums or album CD.

38:10See, I'm going to say CD.

38:11And I used to go to the I used to go to the radio.

38:14Hey, man, when it's coming out, when it's coming out.

38:17And the guy said, oh, man, he said the money that they gave him.

38:21A lot of people don't realize that when you get off in the music, they loan you the money.

38:26Man, you got to pay that money back.

38:28Absolutely.

38:28Yeah.

38:29You know, and and excuse me, then whatever.

38:33Once you pay that money back, whatever else come in is yours.

38:37Well, he he said he overspent.

38:41So he's trying to he trying to scrap up to get this music out.

38:47And I've heard that about other artists.

38:50They said, hey, man, I thought they had a release date.

38:53Well, they did.

38:55But, you know, they have some some setback.

38:58It's setback is the money part.

39:01Hmm.

39:02Because they didn't have enough money to finish it.

39:05A lot of people don't because I know, man, I've worked with guys.

39:08Oh, man, be a rapper, blah, blah, blah.

39:10And this one guy, you know, me and him, we was cool.

39:13I was going to make some apps for him.

39:16He was a DJ.

39:17And he said, hey, little brother.

39:19He said, he said, you want to be a rapper, huh?

39:22He said, yeah.

39:22He said, do you have a plan?

39:24And the kid looked at the young guy, looked at him and said, huh?

39:27What you mean?

39:28I don't need no plan.

39:29He said, yes, you do.

39:30He said, because what's going to end up happening is he said, man, you need to read about a whole

39:35lot of these these artists that don't get paid.

39:39They go and perform and they don't get paid.

39:42Well, that's the same way with a business where I worked for a cabinet company one time to

39:48get up to change this, change it.

39:49I worked for a cabinet company.

39:51The guy was he was bidding on jobs.

39:54Well, guess what?

39:55He overbid and we was working on the laboratory at the University of Houston and the University

40:01of Rice.

40:03We were putting it on.

40:05Hey, they kicked us out.

40:07And, you know, they said, yeah.

40:09And they said, well, hey, y'all don't have enough workers to finish this job when you're

40:15supposed to.

40:17Hey, the dude folded and he had, you know, I didn't I wasn't aware of.

40:21I thought he had been in business for a while.

40:24Hey, man, it was in the first it was in the first year.

40:28The company lasted eight months.

40:31Wow.

40:32Eight months.

40:33And, you know, it's because he was he was just.

40:39He wanted a business and but he didn't sit down and plan it.

40:45Yeah.

40:46Or understand what it all took.

40:48I get it.

40:49Yeah, I get it.

40:51And that sounds like like you said, OK, the question is, I didn't really want to bring

40:57it up.

40:57But, yeah, what is she doing?

41:03I don't know.

41:05Not.

41:06What is she?

41:08You know, that was my question.

41:10That's, you know, because when I read, I'm like, OK, I understand you, bro.

41:13You're working all these jobs.

41:15But what what is is she doing?

41:19Yeah.

41:19Do she have a job?

41:20Like don't seem like she's helping.

41:23All she doing is she, you know, that lip service.

41:26That's it.

41:27Well, you know.

41:28And, you know, you get tired of hearing that, man.

41:31And I'm like, dude, he's like she called me.

41:34And, you know, I told her I had three more pickups.

41:37And I'm like, OK, then I but I was like saying also if I was I would tell him, man,

41:43let that rise service go.

41:46You know, you know.

41:47Hey, you.

41:48Huh?

41:49Go ahead.

41:49You know, they they say that that is the easiest way to make a lot of money is by Uber

41:55and

41:55and Lyft and and all that stuff.

41:57That's what they say.

41:58I've heard just the opposite.

42:00Yeah.

42:01I've heard.

42:02Yeah.

42:02I've heard just the opposite that they don't make.

42:05Because I had a friend.

42:06I had.

42:07Well, I have a bunch of friends that, you know, got jumped off into that and they jumped out.

42:14Oh, I have a comedian friend out there in L.A. right now.

42:19And he I remember was talking with him and I said, hey, man, what you doing?

42:25He said, I'm doing I'm doing on Uber.

42:28I said, how's it going?

42:29He said, man, I'm getting ready to get out of Uber.

42:32I said, well, how long you been?

42:33How long you been in it?

42:35He said, I think he said he had been in Uber for like two months.

42:38I'm like, you ain't gave it a chance.

42:41And then I have a friend here.

42:44He was doing he was driving for Lyft.

42:47And he said, bro, he said, it ain't like what you think it is.

42:51He was there for four months.

42:53He said, man, skip, skip it.

42:56I'm not doing it.

42:57And I've heard a lot of the drivers that I've, you know, rode with.

43:03They all say, it's all right, man.

43:05You know, it's all right.

43:06But I'm not going to be doing this for long.

43:10One of the musicians, she's a female musician out there in L.A.

43:16And that's how I met her.

43:19And she was like, I said, I thought you was doing Lyft.

43:23She said, yeah, so did I.

43:26Just like that.

43:27I'm like, oh, OK.

43:29You know, so did I, you know.

43:31And I was like, OK, then, you know.

43:35And then we was on a program together.

43:38And I told people how I met her.

43:41And one of the comedians, oh, bro, I don't put a business out there like that.

43:46I'm like, what?

43:46She was driving Lyft.

43:47She was making her some money.

43:49What's the big old deal?

43:51And he started out.

43:52He said, oh, man, I'm just messing with y'all, man.

43:54He said, it's crazy how you know her.

44:00And then, you know, how we met.

44:03And I'm like, yeah.

44:03And she said, yeah, she didn't do it no more.

44:07Because one, it's the people, some of the people they pick up, too.

44:11Yeah, that's one of the main reasons why I couldn't do it.

44:14Because I don't want all them people.

44:16You can't be touching stuff, messing stuff up, and being all over the place.

44:22Nah, I'm good, bro.

44:24Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

44:26I'll be looking at my own family members in my car like.

44:35Man, you sound like my dad now.

44:37And, you know, I get that from my dad, too.

44:40Because he was like that.

44:42You couldn't do anything.

44:43He got crazy over his car.

44:45I'm not like that.

44:47Yeah, yeah, yeah.

44:49Hey, let me tell you something, man.

44:50I know my uncle was getting in the car one time.

44:53And my dad said, oh, knock the dirt off your shoe.

44:55My uncle looked at him.

44:57He looked at him.

44:58And he was like, okay, then.

45:01So when he got out and dad pulled off, you know, I came over there.

45:05He said, man, how you put up with that man all these years?

45:09I said, hey, man, he my dad.

45:10He said, you know what?

45:12He said, he ain't got to ever worry about me asking him.

45:16He said, I'll walk before I ask him.

45:18I said, is that bad?

45:20He said, hey, he said, I don't have to tell you.

45:23You already know that.

45:25Exactly.

45:26Exactly.

45:27Yeah.

45:28Yeah.

45:29Yeah, my dad.

45:30Yeah, man.

45:30He was, oh, man.

45:32So I remember one of the stories, my aunt, right?

45:36She said, he wouldn't even take us down south.

45:40I said, well, he was going down there too, wasn't he?

45:42Yeah.

45:43And this is what she said.

45:45I hope you're listening because I know you remember this conversation.

45:49I hope my aunt is listening because she listened to the show.

45:52But she said, your dad said that he didn't want me and I forgot what other family member

45:58it was to get in the back of his car because we were too heavy and it was too much

46:01weight

46:02to carry off from Jersey all the way down south.

46:09He said that they was too heavy.

46:11I said, oh, you're doing too much, man.

46:14You're doing too much.

46:15Yes.

46:16Yes.

46:17That's cold there.

46:18Something would have happened to his tires or something.

46:21Um, this dude.

46:23Oh, man.

46:25Yeah.

46:26I, you know, and I, I, I can, I can, I can believe that man.

46:29I can believe that.

46:30You know?

46:33Oh my goodness.

46:35All right.

46:35So I think we helped out Mr. Marcus here.

46:38Um, I don't know.

46:41I don't actually know if we did.

46:42It is what it is.

46:43All I have to say is people out there before you get into these relationships, just know

46:48who you're marrying.

46:50And some people say, Laren, what do you mean by that?

46:52Because sometimes you'll never know the person that you marry.

46:55Well, in that case, then I ain't going to say it.

46:58Cause y'all going to say I'm being a certain way, but you know what I was about to say.

47:02You know what, man?

47:03I will, I will agree with you on that.

47:06I thought I knew, but I didn't know.

47:10And man, you know what?

47:12That's why I said when you, when people ask me, what was, what is my regrets?

47:16And sometimes I, sometimes I had to think, I said, man, I gotta, I gotta get off of that.

47:21Y'all need to quit asking me this question.

47:23And what is my, what is my regret?

47:25Cause I'm going to tell you the same thing over and over.

47:28It's getting married.

47:30That was, that was it, man.

47:33And you know, and I, I didn't realize, you know, what all came with it.

47:40And man, I, I, like I said, man, I worked one and two jobs and it still couldn't satisfy her.

47:45So, well, you know, I, I thought about my life and I said, well, if I didn't do some of

47:51the things that I did, I wouldn't be here today.

47:53So that's one of the main things that keeps me, you know, on point and, and staying toward in the

48:02present moment and looking towards the future.

48:04Because when I look at the past, I'm like, okay, without all of that stuff, I would not be who

48:14I am here today.

48:14And right now is the most important part, you know, where I'm at right now.

48:19So, but, you know, I don't, I don't, I don't say sometimes I say, but I would, I, when I'm

48:26doing writing, I was doing that anyway.

48:30So therefore, you know, you know, it, it, it did.

48:34Yeah.

48:34It added on to the story, you know, some of my poems, you know, but other than that, man, you

48:43know,

48:43I really could have did without it.

48:47That's right.

48:49All right.

48:50We, we up against the clock.

48:51We got to get on up out of here.

48:52If you want to let us know real quick where we can go ahead and find you at this week.

48:59Yeah.

48:59And my books are on Amazon and at Goodreads, Birdman313.

49:06And you can go on YouTube.

49:10I'm doing videos and I'm posting videos weekly now for a little bit.

49:18Uh, YouTube.com slash author, poet, Birdman31355.

49:25You can find me on Instagram where I'm posting, um, poems, videos, and pictures.

49:32Um, Birdman31355.

49:35Um, you can go to Spotify and, uh, coffee, wine, and words, Birdman31355.

49:44And, um, I'm not, I really, this, this month here, I've really laxed off.

49:51I've taken a break from doing any open mics.

49:53I think I've done one this month.

49:56I think.

49:57I can't even remember.

49:58That's how, you know, and I've just taken a break and I guess I, you know, the month of August,

50:05I'll crank it back up and I'll start doing some readings then.

50:09I do something.

50:10You know what, a lot of facts, Sunday, if I do anything, it's, I forgot August, August is, start Saturday.

50:18So, um, Sunday, I will be at, um, we'll be doing, um, it'll be on Zoom out of Austin.

50:25It's called The Lion and the Pirate.

50:28And it's for disability service.

50:31They, you know, they have people that have disabilities.

50:34So, um, I've, I've been doing poetry for them for like 10 years.

50:41You know, I've been featured on there.

50:44Um, so, you know, I, I, I go to some of their live events.

50:50They have a radio station.

50:52I've been on that.

50:53So, you know, it's, it's cause I'm, I, I enjoy being around people that I guess you could say they

51:06can't go nowhere.

51:07You know what I mean?

51:08It's, it's, they can't travel.

51:09So when I read my poems and a lot of them say, oh man, I was right there.

51:16And that makes good that I, I, you know, can make, make them feel good because, you know, a lot

51:21of them is in wheelchairs.

51:23Or they don't walk up.

51:24And, and, and yeah, and they got to catch that.

51:26And, you know, like when we have a live thing, we got, they got to catch a ride there, but

51:31they don't, they don't be on the radio, but they be listening on the radio.

51:35Mm-hmm.

51:36I got you.

51:37Mm-hmm.

51:37Yes.

51:38Yes.

51:38That's good.

51:39That's good.

51:40Yeah.

51:41That makes me feel good.

51:42I'm doing something good.

51:44Absolutely.

51:48All right.

51:49It's time to get on up out of here.

51:51Thank you so much.

51:53Could not do it without you.

51:54And most certainly we'll see you next time around.

51:59Oh, yeah.

52:00You take care, man.

52:01Enjoy your weekend.

52:02You too.

52:03Take care now.

52:04Yes.

52:05Okay.

52:07All right, gentlemen.

52:09Have it.

52:09That was author Paul Birdman.

52:11Three, one.

52:12Three.

52:20We have done so many great episodes and you should be seeing a new live version show up somewhere or

52:31you probably already saw it by the time you listen to this.

52:33So, in any case, I forgot that we are behind a little bit.

52:38So, but in any case, several different podcasts.

52:41This is a journey.

52:43This season has been great.

52:44So, please go ahead and check out multiple episodes wherever you listen to your podcast.

52:51And, again, special shout out to everybody out there on Daily Motion.

52:57I want to say what's up to people on Facebook X.

53:01Thank you all so much.

53:03I appreciate it.

53:04Instagram.

53:05To my Instagram family, where it all started six years ago.

53:09We are coming up on the six-year anniversary for the 4-in-1 podcast.

53:14So, I definitely will have a lot of special guests come in that day.

53:18You know how we do.

53:19So, I have a bunch of friends coming through.

53:22And we're going to have some fun as well.

53:25So, yeah, celebrating six years of the 4-in-1 podcast.

53:29So, on that note, I want to say thank you all so much for joining in.

53:32If there is something that you heard that sparked an interest, people want to get it together financially when it

53:38comes to that debt-free living.

53:39If you've hit your financial rock bottom and you just want to learn and do something different, head on over

53:46to LarenGaines.com.

53:47You can sign up for that free 15-minute consultation.

53:51Next message.

53:56This has been a beautiful episode, ladies and gentlemen.

54:04Thank you all so much.

54:05I told you that it was going to be a great one.

54:07And I will see you when I see you.

54:10Take care, y'all.

54:11Have a good night.

54:13Have a good night.

54:23Have a good night.

54:53Have a good night.

55:22Have a good night.

55:23Have a good night.

The Side Hustle Cost Me My Marriage | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 46)

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