- 2 days ago
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Wyatt accidentally calls his girlfriend, Marlowe, "Serena," the name of his ex-girlfriend, several times. Meanwhile, Jude falls in love with French Canadian figure skater Claudette, who only speaks French. All while Jonesy charges couples money to make out in an old sports car.
Wyatt accidentally calls his girlfriend, Marlowe, "Serena," the name of his ex-girlfriend, several times. Meanwhile, Jude falls in love with French Canadian figure skater Claudette, who only speaks French. All while Jonesy charges couples money to make out in an old sports car.
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TVTranscript
00:00TIMES LESS!
00:11Does my breath stink?
00:15And she said I couldn't handle the extra hot peppers.
00:21Dude, I think you broke Nicky.
00:24Time for a comatose makeover.
00:27I'm back.
00:29Unfortunately.
00:32Flowers and candy?
00:35Somebody's whipped.
00:36I wish.
00:37After what happened last night, I'll be lucky if I still have a relationship.
00:41Gory details? Go!
00:43Last night, Marlo and I were at the movies watching some chick flick.
00:48And I asked Serena to pass the popcorn.
00:53Serena? As in your ex-girlfriend, Serena?
00:56That would be the one.
00:59Awful. Terrible.
01:01That kind of dating faux pas requires splurging for the good stuff.
01:04Roses and Belgian chocolates.
01:08Marlo, wait!
01:11I'm so sorry for last night.
01:13I even wrote you a poem.
01:16Marlo, you're amazing.
01:18Better than the glutes on a ballerina.
01:20That dope hundred-foot yacht at the marina?
01:24Or the high-def jumbotron at the arena?
01:28You couldn't even write me my own rhyming poem?
01:31Ballerina, marina, arena?
01:33All things that rhyme with Serena!
01:37Did not see that one coming.
01:44Maybe a special lemon whip would say,
01:46I'm sorry for calling you Serena again, Marlo.
01:49Mmm, no.
01:50I need help.
01:52It's not like I still have feelings for Serena.
01:54So why do I keep doing it?
01:55Wyatt, you're being too hard on yourself.
01:58You're a great guy and you didn't mean to hurt Marlo.
02:00Twice.
02:01Thanks.
02:02Sorry, just being honest.
02:03Just explain it to Marlo and I'm sure she'll understand.
02:07Yeah, you're right.
02:08It's worth a try.
02:09Thanks.
02:10Sweet!
02:11Who would just abandon such a sweet set of wheels in the mall?
02:16I think they used it in the promo for that Speed Demon sports drink.
02:20Let's take her out for a test drive.
02:25Can't. No engine.
02:27The car's just a prop.
02:28More than one way to test drive.
02:38Oh, Cindy.
02:40You're revving my engines.
02:44The poor guy's lonely.
02:46Hmm.
02:47A sweet ride like this shouldn't go to waste.
02:50I can rent it out as a make out car and charge admission.
02:53Sweet!
02:55Okay, um, sorry to rain on your parade,
02:58but who's gonna pay good money to sit in some old sports car and make out?
03:06You were saying?
03:14Can this idiot surrender?
03:16Only if you promise not to drop any more Serena bombs on me.
03:20I'm so sorry, Marlo.
03:21You were my girlfriend and I wouldn't have it any other way.
03:24That is, if you'll take this dummy back.
03:27Okay.
03:28I forgive you.
03:29Again.
03:30On one condition.
03:32Anything.
03:32We never mention the name Serena again.
03:36Hey, Wyatt.
03:37Hi, Serena.
03:38Mm-hmm.
03:39That doesn't count, right?
03:40I'll let it go this time.
03:43You're officially the best girlfriend ever.
03:46See you later, Sarlo.
03:48I can explain.
03:50You know when you're extra sensitive about saying the wrong thing,
03:52so your brain makes you say the wrong thing again and again,
03:54even though you don't mean it?
03:57Okay, well, I'll catch up with you later, Marina.
04:00I mean, Salarlo.
04:01I mean, Marlo.
04:03Bye.
04:04Man.
04:05What is my damage?
04:20Wait.
04:21Beautiful skating, dudette.
04:24Come back.
04:26Whoa.
04:28Practice will have to wait, Claudette.
04:31All right.
04:32You can go, too.
04:33Since when do you coach fingers?
04:36No.
04:36Skating, coach.
04:37All right.
04:38No idea what that means, dude, but can you introduce me to Claudette?
04:43Oh, this suits them all called malt.
04:46Idiot.
04:46Okay.
04:47Catch you later, coach.
04:49Those smooching couples are blocking us from selling things to our valued customers.
04:54So we sell a few less tube tops.
04:56The world will be a better place.
04:57Tube tops do make the world a better place.
05:00Hello?
05:01Sagich.
05:01Our tube tops come with a built-in shelf bra.
05:04Hopeless.
05:04Utterly hopeless.
05:08Okay.
05:09Time's up.
05:10Time to let someone else make out.
05:12Whoa, whoa.
05:13Patience, people.
05:14The Jonesmeister is here to help you fulfill your make-out dreams.
05:18Ah.
05:19Hey, Nikki.
05:20How much did you hear?
05:21Everything.
05:22I can explain.
05:23They don't get to make out with me.
05:25See, just in my car.
05:27You're always taking people for a ride, aren't you?
05:30Nah, the car's just a prop.
05:32Care for a free turn?
05:33I get off work at five.
05:34Don't touch me.
05:37I got your veggie burger with extra pickles just the way you like it.
05:40Half onion rings and half fries.
05:42And a delicious caramel sundae with nuts.
05:45That's really sweet, Wyatt, but I'm not hungry.
05:48We need to talk.
05:50We need to talk?
05:51Wait.
05:52Are you breaking up with me?
05:54Wyatt, you're a really nice guy.
05:57Not you're a really nice guy.
05:59What's next?
06:00It's not you, it's me?
06:02No.
06:02It's definitely you.
06:04You obviously still have feelings for Serena, and until you work through them, I can't be the wrongly named third
06:09wheel.
06:10Goodbye, Wyatt.
06:16Aw.
06:18Is that an I'm still into Serena moan?
06:21Or a my head is smooshed into a plate of fries moan?
06:24Judging from the pitch and timber, I'd have to say it's a Marlo broke up with me moan.
06:29You're good.
06:30Thanks.
06:32I'm sorry, Wyatt.
06:33You so didn't deserve to be dumped.
06:35Even if you did call Marlo, Sarlo, Marina, and Salarlo.
06:40Aw.
06:41Aw.
06:42You need to do a Serena purge.
06:44I once knew this guy who was pretty sure he was a second cousin of an aboriginal shaman.
06:49Or was it third?
06:51Caitlin, the point?
06:52Right.
06:53Well, he said in order to get over someone, you have to get rid of everything that's ever belonged to
06:59them.
06:59Then their spirit is free to wander the earth and get the heck out of your life.
07:03A Serena purge?
07:05And this will stop me from ever saying her name again?
07:07Oh, definitely.
07:08Let's do it.
07:10Okay, but you have to hand yourself over to me.
07:13Body and belongings.
07:15Sure.
07:15How bad can it be?
07:17No!
07:18Not Serena's number!
07:19What if I need to call her for some unspecific reason?
07:22Don't fight the purge, Wyatt.
07:24There.
07:25Serena's number is officially deleted.
07:28Mm-hmm.
07:29I can get out of this any time I want, you know.
07:32Any time?
07:34You're freakishly strong for someone so small.
07:40This small isn't big enough for you, me, and all these kissing couples.
07:45No law against showing a little affection in public.
07:48Actually, there is.
07:50You're in violation of public displays of affection awareness month.
07:54I'm taking you in.
07:56No!
07:56Not my customers!
07:58Aw, man.
07:59Just when I was starting to make some real coin.
08:01Don't let Ron spoil the love.
08:04Bro doesn't own the mall.
08:05Yeah.
08:07If anyone knows all the best make-out spots in the mall, it's me.
08:11I can sell secret mall make-out maps instead!
08:14You know all the secret make-out spots?
08:17Got something in mind, dude?
08:19I'm at the figure skating Claudette Dudette of my dreams today.
08:25But the coach won't let me talk to her.
08:28He's keeping us apart like some kind of, you know, that movie where the lovers are kept apart.
08:34Romeo and Juliet?
08:36Nah, that's not it.
08:38Who is in the Fast and the Furious?
08:40As the inspiration behind Jonesy's new mall make-out maps, I'm gonna tell you a little ice rink secret even
08:47Coach doesn't know about.
08:48You know ice rink secrets?
08:50So you and Claudette can have some alone time if you get my drift.
08:54Awesome!
08:55There's a small hole in the back of locker number three.
09:00Come on!
09:02What is my favorite t-shirt?
09:05Serena gave it to you!
09:07Now hand it over!
09:10Hey, how's it going?
09:12Sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do.
09:14You said it!
09:16Fight the power, girlfriend!
09:21Please tell me we're done.
09:23As soon as you clean up this mess, your Serena purge is complete.
09:28And all it cost me was my favorite shirt, 26 CDs, my journal, oh, and my dignity.
09:34Don't you feel any better?
09:36You know, I do.
09:38I feel... lighter.
09:40That's the power of the purge!
09:42I'm gonna go home and shower, then head to Marlowe's.
09:44I should look my best when I grovel.
09:46Not so fast.
09:47But you just said we were done!
09:49The purge is over, but you still have the final very important stage to complete.
09:54Oh, tell me it's not some kind of Aboriginal wolf wrestling ceremony.
09:58I'm a little worn out.
10:00Close.
10:00You have to come face to face with Serena one last time.
10:04What?
10:05I can't do that!
10:06You have to!
10:07How is seeking out my ex gonna help me forget her name?
10:10Because you have to look Serena in the eyes and make sure you have absolutely no feelings left for her.
10:16The guy who was the cousin of the possible shaman wouldn't lie.
10:18If you're over Serena, there's nothing to be afraid of.
10:22But Serena was my first girlfriend.
10:25What if I never get over her?
10:35Yummy mummy.
10:36Lonely.
10:37Mid-forties.
10:38Has one son, Stanley.
10:40Who often subs for a real man in her life.
10:46Nerdy guy.
10:48Male.
10:48Early forties.
10:49Still lives with his mother.
10:51I'm only 39.
10:53And how exactly is this going to help us find Serena?
10:56You have to make it look like you ran into Serena accidentally.
11:00Otherwise, she might think we've been stalking her.
11:02But we have been stalking her.
11:04There she is!
11:05Go, go, go!
11:06And remember, don't be too obvious!
11:12Whoa!
11:13Hotty alert!
11:15Oh.
11:16Hi there.
11:21Hmm.
11:22This looks good.
11:25Country music!
11:26Ugh!
11:29Hey, Wyatt.
11:30I'll be with you in a sec.
11:33Yo, Wyatt here.
11:34Hey, Wyatt.
11:35Marlo!
11:36I'm so glad you called.
11:38I was just thinking about-
11:39Wyatt.
11:39We just got a great shipment of CDs in from England.
11:42I think you'll really like them.
11:44Wyatt?
11:45Are you with Serena?
11:46Yes, but it's not what you-
11:48Just bring my stuff back.
11:49Tonight!
11:50Marlo!
11:51Don't hang-
11:51Hello?
11:54Marlo wants her stuff back.
11:56Tonight.
11:59Ugh.
12:00Wyatt, wait!
12:10Back straight.
12:12Head held eye.
12:13Tushy tight if you wanna fly.
12:15Nailed that axle!
12:17Yeah!
12:17Oh, I feel good!
12:19I love the coolness of my smile.
12:22Nice threads!
12:25What?
12:25Who?
12:26What?
12:26Who?
12:26What?
12:27Who?
12:27Who's there?
12:29Coach is a closet figure skater!
12:34Salut.
12:35Ça va?
12:36Sorry, brah.
12:37Don't speak angel.
12:42Aimes-tu faire le patinage artistique?
12:45I love art.
12:46I mainly make sculptures out of me.
12:49Tu es drôle.
12:51You have real pretty hair.
12:55Gotcha!
12:56There's a place for pervs like you, you weirdo.
12:59Where?
13:00You'll find out.
13:02When?
13:02Kinda spoiling the dramatic tension here.
13:04Sorry.
13:09Ugh.
13:10Gross.
13:11That's my secret change room.
13:13The one I hide in when I'm trying to get away from you people?
13:16Well, Jonesy said it was a great place to make out.
13:22Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.
13:24Yeah.
13:25I'd like to buy map two, if you please.
13:29A hot Swedish chick?
13:31Awesome!
13:32Hey!
13:32Hey there, Nikki.
13:34How much do you know?
13:36Everything.
13:36You sold me out to the clones.
13:38Ow!
13:39Ow!
13:39I can explain!
13:41Thanks to your stupid make out map,
13:42I no longer have a place to hide.
13:44Ah!
13:46How many of these make out places have you tried?
13:49Now probably wouldn't be the best time to brag, huh?
13:52Ugh!
13:53Gross!
13:54Does it really matter?
13:55My lips picked you!
13:57Nikki!
14:05You gotta let me out, man!
14:08I need to tell Claudette how I feel!
14:11If I have my way, you'll get life!
14:14I really like Claudette.
14:16Kinda like how you really like figure skating.
14:20Ugh!
14:21I could've been great!
14:23I could stick handle my way through a triple sow cow.
14:27I'm telling you.
14:28I had one sharp inside edge.
14:32If it weren't for my dad,
14:34no son of mine is going to prance around the ice!
14:40So hurtful!
14:42Parents can be harsh.
14:45I'll let you out, if you promise to keep this our little secret.
14:49Hmm?
14:50Sure thing, Coach.
14:51If you hook me up with Claudette.
14:55Hmm.
14:57The ice rink!
14:58Nine sharp!
14:59See you then!
14:59Awesome!
15:01I can close the rink, you know.
15:04Give you a little private ice time.
15:07If you want.
15:09You and Claudette are in for the show of your lives!
15:15You sure you're okay?
15:17It's over.
15:18Marlo wants her stuff back.
15:19No, Wyatt!
15:20You can't give up so easily!
15:23Caitlin, nothing about these last two days has been easy.
15:26Chad used to go to my old school,
15:27and I think I can set up a fake double date.
15:30That way, you can face Serena once and for all,
15:33and I'll be there for moral support.
15:35You'd do that for me?
15:37You really are the best friend ever.
15:39Correction.
15:40Tonight, I'm the best girlfriend ever.
15:44Thanks for putting the storage room on your make-out mats.
15:47I've been finding couples in there all day.
15:49I'm surrounded by smooching paying customers,
15:52and I can't enjoy it without Nikki.
15:54That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard you say.
15:58Yeah, well, don't get used to it.
15:59Cholmzy, look around.
16:01Half the mall is in love, and it's all thanks to you.
16:04Throw some of that Nikki's way, and she'll be powerless to resist.
16:07You know what, sis?
16:08You're right.
16:09You know what, bro?
16:11You've never called me sis before.
16:13Aw, man!
16:14I've gone totally soft!
16:16Your secret's safe with me.
16:19Blue's my favorite snow flavor.
16:21How do you say it in French?
16:24Blue.
16:25Yeah, blue.
16:26Blue.
16:27I get it.
16:29Blue is blue.
16:31French is totally easy.
16:33Last show's about to last start.
16:56Mickey, there's a customer stuck in one of the change rooms.
16:59So?
17:00So we can't get him out!
17:02We need your help!
17:03He's stuck in the last one!
17:05Of course he is.
17:10Jonesy?
17:11We fixed it!
17:12Yay!
17:16What are you...
17:17Flowers?
17:20Somebody's whipped.
17:21I guess somebody is.
17:29Can't say I wasn't surprised by the invite, Caitlin.
17:33I had no idea you and Wyatt were dating.
17:36It's still very new, but we're very, um, happy.
17:41What are you gonna have?
17:42Pookie?
17:44Pookie?
17:45Pookie?
17:46Chad and I were thinking of splitting the spicy tuna rolls.
17:49That's Marlo's favorite.
17:52The funniest thing happened at work today.
17:54This guy came in looking for bare-naked fat guys, and Chad says...
17:58Marlo and I went to their concert last month.
18:00We laughed all night.
18:02How can you keep talking about your ex when your beautiful new girlfriend is sitting right here?
18:07You think I'm beautiful?
18:09Thanks!
18:11Come on, Chad.
18:12Let's go.
18:14I'm sorry that didn't go better, Wyatt.
18:16Are you kidding?
18:17That went great!
18:18I was face to face with Serena, and all I could think about was Marlo.
18:22Yay!
18:23The purge worked!
18:28Oh, hey, Marlo.
18:31No, wait!
18:32I can explain!
18:33This isn't what it looks like!
18:45Master's in!
18:46You're working overtime this weekend!
18:48Sure thing, Coach.
18:49If you pay me time and a half.
18:53Oh, Master's in!
18:55Oh, that's a good one!
18:59Back straight, head held high, tushy tight if you want to fly.
19:04Why did you hear that?
19:06Alright, so next week, time and a half.
19:08No problem.
19:09Love ya!
19:09Sounds good to me.
19:15Glad to see you two made up.
19:17Yeah, and all I had to do was give up the make-out car, the make-out maps, and grovel.
19:22Ain't life grand.
19:29Hey, what's with the long face?
19:31Claudette landed the gig as the snow cone in the ice cream forest.
19:37Ice Capades.
19:39I totally support chicks following their Capade dreams, but I'm gonna miss-
19:44I thought we had an agreement!
19:47I'm sorry!
19:49I'm no good at keeping secrets!
19:51Ask anyone!
19:54Oh.
19:54Terrible.
19:59I wrote this song
20:02To let you know how I feel
20:06I got your name wrong
20:08But ooh, I got you right
20:15Yeah, I got you right
20:22Aww
20:23Boy, that'd make a great song for my figure sca-
20:26Um, uh, never mind.
20:28As you were.
20:29Boy, is it warm in here or what?
20:31Holy Gemini.
20:33I'm not safe.
20:34To have any way.
20:35It's a bad story, I'm sorry-
20:36It's a bad story for you.
20:36Oh, the word.
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