- 18 minutes ago
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00:04Okay, so tomorrow, don't forget, you're picking them up, right?
00:12It's as if I speak in tongues.
00:15Don't tell me you forgot about tomorrow.
00:18I won't.
00:20Do you have any interest in your children?
00:22Yes.
00:24Yes, and tomorrow, I pick them up.
00:26From where?
00:28You don't know.
00:31Pick them up from their school.
00:34Prayer.
00:35Rehearsal.
00:37At the.
00:39Steakhouse?
00:41Auditorium.
00:43Be there by three, Sarah knows you're going to pick them up.
00:46Sarah?
00:47Their teacher, you are incredible.
00:50Hi, Sarah, I know it's Sarah, okay?
00:52I was kidding you.
00:53I know it's Sarah.
00:54Yeah, you know it's Sarah.
00:59Ray, what's my middle name?
01:05Come on, Ray, what's my middle name?
01:14Sexy.
01:29Dad, you want an aftershave?
01:32Yeah.
01:34Doesn't look like you shave.
01:37I didn't shower either, hence the aftershave.
01:44Nice try.
01:47Oh, what are you guys doing here?
01:50Watching the nicks on the dish.
01:51And holding our breath.
01:54Great.
01:55Hey, no, guys, get off the lawn, guys.
01:57Go upstairs.
01:57Come on, change.
01:58You got to change like this.
01:59Dad!
02:09What are you doing to these kids?
02:13They're in a play.
02:14Let me guess.
02:15Death of a salesman.
02:18Just this thing at school, that's all.
02:21A play?
02:21That's a mistake.
02:22Get them into sports.
02:23Quick.
02:24Look, it's a couple of weeks, that's all.
02:27The whole class is in it.
02:28I don't like it.
02:29Look at them running around here like a couple of sissies.
02:33They're not sissies.
02:34No?
02:35No.
02:35Well, then what the hell are they?
02:39They're fairies.
02:42Oh, my God!
02:46I'm telling you, sports, quick, right now.
02:49Tennis, even.
02:52No, no, look.
02:54These are the parts that they were assigned, all right?
02:56That's it.
02:56It's no big deal.
02:58Well, listen to the king of the fairies.
03:04Hi.
03:05Hey.
03:06I took Deborah grocery shopping.
03:08Now she knows how to choose a cut of meat.
03:12And humiliate a butcher.
03:15We should go shopping together more often.
03:17Yeah, I'll call you.
03:21The next time you're out, you should get a couple of skirts for your twins, Dad.
03:25What?
03:26Dad's mad because the boys are fairies in the school plate.
03:29Oh, they make adorable fairies.
03:34Oh, they already do.
03:35You should have seen them in the little wings.
03:38Somebody just kill me.
03:41Oh, Frank, come on.
03:42Hey, look, don't listen to him.
03:44He did the same thing to me when I joined the chorus in the seventh grade.
03:47You know, I was basso profundo.
03:51Old Man River.
03:55All right.
03:56That Old Man River.
04:00He must know something.
04:06He don't say nothing.
04:10All right.
04:11All right.
04:12All right.
04:13Enough.
04:14That's how it starts.
04:16What?
04:17Singing, dancing.
04:18Showering regularly.
04:23Why don't you go hang some drapes?
04:27Stop it, Frank.
04:29I was so sad when he quit chorus.
04:32I had to.
04:33Everyone was making fun of me.
04:35That's why you quit?
04:37I don't have anybody making fun of you.
04:40Dad told me people were making fun of me.
04:43What people?
04:44Who?
04:45People.
04:46What people?
04:50People within the community.
04:53It was just you, wasn't it, Dad?
04:57I represent the community.
05:00Who cares?
05:01The next day I put up the basketball hoop.
05:04Before you know it, you had a shelf full of trophies.
05:06By the way, when are you going to get that crap out of my house?
05:11Yeah, Dad needs that space for his father of the year awards.
05:16What, are you cracking wise?
05:18My hard work is the only reason the two of you aren't flitting around here like a couple of Tinkerbells.
05:25Even so, you're still a bachelor.
05:29Don't be ridiculous.
05:31Frank, dressing the twins like fairies is not going to make them gay.
05:34Well, it's not going to make them teamsters.
05:42I'm sure there are gay teamsters.
05:49You, madam, are ignorant.
05:52Oh, please.
05:53This won't make them gay.
05:55And even if it does, it's fine.
05:57It's better than fine.
05:58It's wonderful.
06:00Who cares what they are so long as they're happy?
06:02You know what?
06:03I hope they do turn gay.
06:06You're just saying that to make me mad.
06:09Why are you mad?
06:11You think that's the worst thing that could happen?
06:14Them turning out like you is the worst thing that could happen.
06:18So everyone's fine with all of this.
06:21Huh?
06:23What about you?
06:24What about me?
06:26You're fine with your sons dressing up like fairies for all of Long Island to see?
06:31First of all, it's not in front of all of Long Island, okay?
06:34There's 40 people in the school's cafe-gymatorium, all right?
06:44Second of all, do you hear yourself?
06:46Aren't you embarrassed to talk that way?
06:48What way?
06:49You know, the old stupid ideas that you and your lodge buddies sit around and laugh at
06:55between bouts of gas.
07:00Don't say nothing about my lodge buddies.
07:04Who, the guys you swim naked with?
07:10That's lodge policy!
07:12Yeah, all right.
07:14Is it...
07:15Is it a lodge policy to force your opinions on other people?
07:18Look, Dad, they're my kids, all right?
07:20I'll raise them the way I want to raise them.
07:21And what is that smell?
07:26He didn't shower today, so he used my jean-nate.
07:32What?
07:34You never look at what you're picking up in there.
07:38Really?
07:38You're wearing perfume, Dad?
07:43Shut up!
07:46You do smell pretty, Pa.
08:04Well, I'm not so sure I like the way I'm being treated here.
08:09If any of you want to apologize to me,
08:12I'll be in the bath!
08:17Who's gonna apologize to the tub?
08:22Oh, you made him so angry, Raymond.
08:24Yeah.
08:24You should do that more often.
08:28I'm proud of you, honey.
08:30Yeah, well, you know, it's enough already.
08:32Oh, I know.
08:33You know, I'll tell you,
08:34Frank would probably have been happy
08:35if I had signed the kids up to run the tape recorder.
08:39What do you mean, sign them up?
08:41Yeah, I signed them up.
08:45Well, what do you mean?
08:46You volunteered them to be fairies?
08:48Yeah.
08:53Why?
08:54Because I thought it would be cute
08:56to see them wear sparkly outfits
08:57and get a chance to dance.
08:59Oh.
09:01Do they have wands?
09:02I could make them wands.
09:04Hey, wait a minute.
09:04Wait a minute.
09:05You made them fairies
09:07when there was an opening of tape recorder?
09:10Yeah.
09:11Well, why would you do that?
09:14What are you talking about?
09:15You said you were fine with it.
09:17I'm not saying that I'm not fine with it, all right?
09:19I am.
09:19I'm fine with it.
09:20You don't sound fine with it.
09:21Well, that's because I didn't know
09:22that we had a choice.
09:23I didn't know that you pushed them into this.
09:25I didn't push them.
09:27I thought they would like it,
09:28and they do.
09:28They're having fun.
09:30Well, they're fun.
09:31They're five, okay?
09:32They have fun with the empty roll
09:33from the toilet paper.
09:35Why are you getting so upset?
09:38You know, you sounded like your father.
09:40I'm not my father, okay?
09:42This is not about that.
09:43This is about you making decisions
09:44for our children
09:45that don't involve
09:48their free will.
09:51Oh, so you're worried
09:52about their free will?
09:53No, he's not.
09:58Why are you still here?
10:00Free will.
10:06Maybe you're more like your father
10:08than you think.
10:09Hey, look, I am not prejudiced.
10:12You just don't want your boys
10:13to be fairies.
10:14Listen to me.
10:14If my children come home and say,
10:16hey, Dad, we decided to be fairies
10:19in the school play,
10:20I say, hey, good for you guys.
10:21Good guys.
10:21Let's go have a root beer.
10:23Huh?
10:23All right?
10:24My father doesn't do that, all right?
10:26I'm not my father.
10:27What?
10:28You're going to give him a root beer.
10:30Yes, that's right.
10:30I'm going to...
10:31Yes.
10:32You know what?
10:32You are worse than your father
10:34because at least he's up front with it.
10:36I mean, you pretend to be liberal,
10:37but the truth is,
10:38you're embarrassed
10:39that your boys are playing fairies.
10:41Bullseye.
10:41Hey, shut up.
10:44Why don't you shut up?
10:48I tried to make
10:49Graham insensitive, Debra.
10:51Oh, Ma, don't you start, okay?
10:52I took you to museums
10:54and I gave you piano lessons.
10:56And I even had his hair cut
10:57at my beauty parlor.
11:00There's still some of his father in him.
11:02He got the moron gene.
11:07Well, I'm going to stop it
11:08before it gets to Michael and Jeffrey.
11:10You see, then,
11:11that's exactly what I'm talking about.
11:12Who says that you get to make
11:14all the decisions in this house, huh?
11:15You know, they're my boys, too, all right?
11:18Why don't you worry
11:18a little bit more about the girl?
11:20Ellie?
11:20I know her name.
11:23And you know what?
11:24As far as the boys are concerned,
11:26maybe there's such a thing
11:27that's too liberal.
11:28Miss Hippie go free-free.
11:42Michael, Jeffrey!
11:43Come on down here!
11:45Hey!
11:46What's going on?
11:47Don't you worry.
11:48What are you doing?
11:48Ba-ba, ba-ba, ba!
11:49I got it.
11:51Guys, come here.
11:52Listen.
11:53Daddy pulled a few strings here
11:55and he got you better parts
11:56in the play, okay?
11:58All right?
11:59Now, here are your new costumes.
12:12They're rocks?
12:15No.
12:16Boulders!
12:17They're great parts, guys, huh?
12:19Best parts of the whole play.
12:21The mighty boulders!
12:23You didn't even tell them
12:24that they could be boulders.
12:25So what do they do?
12:27They guard the entrance
12:28to the castle.
12:30Do they have lines?
12:32No.
12:32But here's the thing, guys.
12:33You know the part
12:34where the prince comes home
12:36weary from his long journey?
12:38Well, he's gonna come over.
12:39He's gonna rest on one of you guys.
12:41And then, while he's resting
12:42on one of you guys,
12:43he puts his knapsack
12:44right on the other guy.
12:45And it's a heavy knapsack,
12:47but you are a boulder!
12:52So they just sit there?
12:54Only for the whole play.
12:57It's a good part.
12:58It's great.
12:59And they're perfect for...
13:00Come on, let's try them off, guys.
13:01Sit down.
13:01Sit down.
13:02Yeah.
13:03Okay.
13:04Sit.
13:05Sit.
13:06Sit.
13:10Oh, you look awesome!
13:15Proud of you guys.
13:16Ray, you made them scenery.
13:27How are you guys doing in there?
13:28I'm scared!
13:29Me too!
13:31Oh, okay.
13:32Come on, come on.
13:33Catch it up for today, all right?
13:36Maybe we'll poke a few holes
13:38in there for light
13:39and air.
13:42Daddy, can I put my wings on?
13:44Well, actually, Daddy's gotta
13:46bring the wings back to school, then.
13:48I like my wings.
13:50Me too!
13:51But rocks don't have wings.
13:54Huh?
13:55And if you're a rock,
13:57you get...
13:58You're gonna be smooth and cool,
14:00which will come in real handy later
14:03with the lady.
14:05You're smooth.
14:06You're cool.
14:09I wanna be a fairy.
14:10Me too!
14:12Me too!
14:13Listen, maybe Miss Sarah
14:15will let you have candy under there.
14:17Ray, take them back.
14:20How would you guys like a puppy under there?
14:21Ray!
14:22All right!
14:29Miss Sarah!
14:30Oh, hi, Mr. Barone.
14:32Did you bring the wings back?
14:33Yeah.
14:33I need the wings.
14:34Well, um,
14:36here's the thing.
14:37The rocks idea really didn't fly.
14:40But I thought you said
14:41your boys dreamed
14:42of being rocks.
14:45Eh, kids and their dreams.
14:47But, you know,
14:47I think it would be okay
14:48if they just went back
14:49to being fairies.
14:50Oh, actually,
14:51I've already got two new fairies.
14:53I'm sorry.
14:54Oh.
14:55Well, you know what?
14:56How about...
14:56You could have four fairies.
14:58You know?
14:59Two over there,
14:59a couple more over there.
15:01For my money,
15:01you can never have
15:01too many fairies.
15:03Um, you know what?
15:04Maybe your boys
15:04would like to work
15:05behind the scenes.
15:06Uh, they could help
15:07Josh with the tape recorder.
15:08Uh, well, you know,
15:09the thing is,
15:10they actually kind of
15:11want to be fairies.
15:13Look, to be honest with you,
15:15I'm not so sure
15:16Michael and Jeffrey
15:17are quite cut out
15:18to be fairies.
15:20What do you mean?
15:21Well, they were having
15:22some problems
15:23following the choreography.
15:25Really?
15:26They look good
15:27from what I saw.
15:29Actually, they...
15:29No.
15:32They just kind of
15:33run around
15:34and I can't seem
15:35to get them
15:36to follow the music.
15:37Well, maybe they just
15:38need a little more practice,
15:39that's all.
15:40Well, we've been
15:40rehearsing for a week.
15:42They just don't seem
15:43to have the proper coordination.
15:45I'm sorry.
15:46Oh, okay, let's see
15:47the first light cue
15:48for the prince's entrance.
15:49Wait, you're joking, right?
15:51Because my boys,
15:51they're coordinated.
15:52You know, I play ball with them.
15:54You should see them.
15:54They run, they catch,
15:55they hit it.
15:56Yeah, I'm sure
15:57they're great at sports,
15:58but this is just
15:58a little more complicated.
16:02What?
16:03Dancing?
16:04No, no, no, no.
16:05Come on, they can do this.
16:06Four fairies.
16:07Come on, I see it.
16:08I see it right there.
16:09Huh?
16:10It makes the show.
16:12Well, I want to be fair
16:14to Michael and Jeffrey,
16:15and the two new fairies,
16:16well, they're just
16:17a little lighter
16:18on their feet.
16:19Well, my boys
16:20are very light.
16:21The doors at the A&P
16:22don't even open for them.
16:27But the two new ones
16:29are really quite good.
16:33So, is this the school system now, huh?
16:36We just settle for quite good?
16:39No.
16:41No.
16:43No.
16:43No.
16:44No.
16:45No.
16:46No.
16:47No.
16:48No.
16:48No.
16:49Guys, you ready?
16:51Yeah.
16:53Okay.
16:57Just as the prince
16:58had given up hope
16:59and thought he was lost
17:01in the forest forever,
17:02he heard a rustling
17:03in the trees.
17:04It was the magical fairies.
17:10No, no, no.
17:11Stop it.
17:11Stop it.
17:12All right.
17:12Come here, girl.
17:13Stop it.
17:13Stop it.
17:14Stop dancing.
17:15Okay.
17:15Stop it.
17:16Guys, stop.
17:17Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
17:20All right.
17:20Pretty good.
17:23A lot of energy.
17:24Good, good energy.
17:25Let's take it down a notch.
17:27All right?
17:28Okay, you got to remember,
17:29fairies, they're happy and light.
17:32All right?
17:33Not so much...
17:34Ah!
17:34No, no.
17:36They're not like that.
17:37Okay?
17:37So, let's try it again.
17:38This time, stay together
17:40and just remember,
17:41try to be graceful.
17:43Okay?
17:43Make believe you're flying.
17:45Okay?
17:45Happy and light.
17:47All right, right from the top.
17:48All right?
17:49Okay, guys, you ready?
17:51Yeah!
17:55Just as the prince had given up hope
17:56and thought he was lost
17:57in the forest forever,
17:58he heard a rustling in the trees.
18:00It was the magical fairies.
18:02Fairies!
18:03No, you're not airplanes, guys.
18:06Come on, you're not airplanes.
18:07Now, cut, cut.
18:09Cut, guys, cut.
18:10Cut means to stop.
18:11Cut, stop, stop.
18:30Yeah, it's not funny, all right?
18:33It's gonna be funny
18:33when you're up there
18:34and you're the worst fairies of the play.
18:35Is that gonna be funny?
18:42Come on.
18:45I've seen the other fairies, guys.
18:47They put you away, all right?
18:53And you gotta...
18:55You gotta know the moves.
18:57Otherwise, what?
18:58I'm not gonna tape it.
18:59I'm not gonna videotape it.
19:01I want you guys to be the best fairies, all right?
19:03So here's what I want you to do
19:05because you're not gonna get by
19:05on your looks, all right?
19:06It's not, oh, oh, look at the twins
19:07with the blonde hair.
19:08That doesn't cut it anymore.
19:11All right?
19:11So listen, instead of...
19:13Instead of holding your arms out straight,
19:16try flapping them.
19:18Flap them.
19:18Yeah.
19:19Okay, not so hard, though.
19:20Not so hard, though, okay?
19:21Gentle.
19:22Gentle, right?
19:23Yeah.
19:24See?
19:25That's it.
19:26This is how you fly.
19:28It's how you float.
19:29Feel the air.
19:31The air's under your wings.
19:32All right, good.
19:33Now, instead of running,
19:34why don't you guys...
19:35Skip.
19:36Try to skip.
19:37Yeah.
19:38Try to skip.
19:39That's good.
19:40Good, but lightly, lightly.
19:42Like, you know, glide.
19:45Glide.
19:46Glide.
19:47Good.
19:48All right.
19:48Now, let's try it on our toes.
19:49On our tippy toes.
19:51The tippy toes.
19:52Right?
19:53That's it.
19:53Feel it.
19:54You're flying.
19:55Like, you're flying.
19:56Look, I'm flying.
19:57I'm flying.
19:58I'm flying.
19:58I'm flying.
20:00I'm flying.
20:00I'm flying.
20:11Holy crap.
20:25Marie! I hope you're happy!
20:36All right. Guys, no pressure, okay? Don't be nervous.
20:40Michael, where's your wand? Michael, what'd you do with your wand?
20:42You have it, Daddy.
20:44Oh, all right, all right. Okay, here.
20:47Hey, do you mind? We're on in a minute here.
20:55Mr. Barone, wouldn't you be more comfortable sitting out in the audience with the rest of the parents?
21:00No, you know what? I'm good. I'm good right here.
21:02Okay, well, let's go, everybody. Okay, good luck, boys.
21:05All right, guys, this is it. You're on, okay? Come on. Laces now.
21:09Hey, now, don't forget the twirly finish.
21:12Kurt, no.
21:16Once upon a time, there was a prince who was lost in the forest.
21:19Just as the prince had given up hope and thought he was lost in the forest forever,
21:24he heard a rustling in the trees.
21:26It was the magical fairy.
21:52It was the magical fairy.
22:11It was the magical fairy.
22:12It was the magical fairy.
22:12It was the magical fairy.
22:13It was the magical fairy.
22:13It was the magical fairy.
22:13It was the magical fairy.
22:13It was the magical fairy.
22:13It was the magical fairy fairy.
22:14It was the magical fairy fairy.
22:18It was the magical fairy fairy fairy.
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