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00:28Transcribed by —
00:31Honey, I'm home!
01:00I'm crying! That means I'm up!
01:05What?
01:06Come on, Earl. You get up for once.
01:10Earl, feed the baby.
01:12Why?
01:13Because if you don't feed it, it'll die.
01:17How many other kids we got?
01:18Two.
01:24Giddy-up, Mommy! Giddy-up!
01:26Da-da-da-da-da-da!
01:28Giddy-up! Faster! Faster!
01:32Move along, little Mommy!
01:34Move along! Move along!
01:36Da-da-dee! Da-da-da-da-da-dee-doo!
01:39Da-da-da-dee-doo!
01:41It's the middle of the night.
01:43Why don't you sleep?
01:45No concept of time. Wide awake.
01:47Let's dance.
01:48Da-da-dee! Da-da-da-da-da-da-doo!
01:52Please, please.
01:54Mommy needs some sleep.
01:56I haven't had any sleep since the night you were hatched.
01:59I love being up with the mama.
02:01Aw, is that why you wake me up at 3 o'clock in the morning?
02:05Just to be with me?
02:07Yeah, well then, I'm hungry!
02:10Feed my mouth! Fill my belly!
02:18Get back! Back! Back! Back! Back! Back! Back! Back!
02:223 o'clock in the morning.
02:24Okay.
02:26Hurry, Mommy! Hurry!
02:28Give it! Give it, Mommy!
02:30Here you go, sweetheart.
02:32Right there.
02:33There.
02:43Deelish.
02:44Oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.
02:46Oh, stomach rally, pressure.
02:48I'm gonna blow up, I'm gonna blow up.
02:50Oh, I'm gonna blow, oh, I'm gonna blow.
02:53Clear.
02:57Ah, good job.
03:07Well, now you really must, must go to sleep.
03:13Whoa, hey, we're gonna walk.
03:16We're gonna do the tour.
03:17Wow, I love the tour.
03:19I'm Gaga for the tour.
03:21Walk, walk, walk.
03:22Hey, wait a minute.
03:24You're trying to put me to...
03:26I don't believe you.
03:27I don't blame you.
03:29I'm gonna do this all night.
03:33Ooh.
03:36Ba ba ba ba da dee doop da ba ba dee doop da ba ba dee doo da.
03:42Oh yeah.
04:09Hey mom, did you make breakfast?
04:11Because I know you're always saying that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
04:15And I understand that from a nutrition point of view.
04:18And I know how you're always saying that I'm still going into my body and that if I don't have
04:21breakfast I'll just end up looking like a little stunted anthropod.
04:25Heh, and I appreciate that mom and everything, I really do.
04:29Uh, except today.
04:31I don't have time for breakfast.
04:32I got early practice for the big game against Mesopotamia.
04:39Cereal, come on cereal.
04:42I want something hot.
04:44I want, uh, two waffles with an animal in the middle.
04:47Can you whip that up, huh?
04:56Don't give me any trouble.
04:58Run at me, run at me, run at me.
05:09There's my ride.
05:10Oh, Bruno's in the car.
05:13Oh, how do I look?
05:14How do I look, huh?
05:17Charlene?
05:18Mom, get some sleep.
05:20Bye.
05:36Get me, get me, get me, get me, get me.
05:38Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
05:41Waffles.
05:52Ahhh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah , ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
06:02ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
06:02Ah, ha, ah, ah, ah, ah-ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
06:08Franny, I know your days are awful full, what, with your bon-bon lunches and girls chat at the produce
06:12counter, but...
06:13Maybe you could clear a minute to put a button on this shirt I've been asking you to put on
06:17since last night.
06:21I've been up since 3.30 this morning, and the baby wouldn't stop crying.
06:26Oh, you had a tough night with Junior?
06:28And then Robbie came in and said, I want, and Charlene came in and said, I want.
06:32All right, all right, here's what I'm going to do.
06:34I'll just run over an antelope on my way to work.
06:36I'll have some for breakfast, put the rest in the lunchbox, I'm covered.
06:40You stop talking! You're talking too loud!
06:42You wake that baby, I'll bite your head off!
06:45Well, nobody wants that.
06:47All I do is cook and clean and clean and cook, that's all I ever do.
06:53I'm turning into a drudge.
06:55Earl, am I a drudge?
07:01I love you.
07:04Cook and clean, clean and cook, that's all I ever do.
07:09These are the tools of my trade.
07:11Well, how's my favorite married couple?
07:12Fran, put the knife down.
07:15Okay, see it work.
07:17Right behind you.
07:25I don't get what the big deal is.
07:27We all have our parts to play.
07:29I'm the breadwinner, and she's the drudge.
07:31Where's the problem?
07:32Well, we are in uncharted territory now, Pally Boy.
07:36This new thing with dinosaurs getting married and settling down has thrown all the conventional wisdom right out the window.
07:43All right, all right.
07:43Let's try to get a handle on this.
07:45Now, I got a wife who's unhappy about something.
07:48This is without historical precedent.
07:51Okay, let's think.
07:54Yeah, we should be able to figure this out.
07:56Yeah, we got brains the size of walnuts.
08:12All right.
08:13What about this?
08:15Friends like broken, right?
08:17I got a broken wife.
08:19So, what do you do if your car is broken?
08:21Uh, you kick it and you leave it by the side of the road.
08:25Yeah, but what if you're kind of used to your car?
08:28And you've put on a few pounds since you've met your car.
08:31Oh, sure.
08:31And you're not sure whether you can attract another car.
08:34Are we really talking about cars here, Pally Boy?
08:38I don't know what the problem is.
08:40She's been upset ever since the baby was born.
08:42She wasn't upset before the baby.
08:44Before the baby, not upset.
08:45After the baby, upset.
08:47Baby, upset.
08:49No baby, no upset.
08:51You lost me completely.
08:53It's the baby.
08:54Baby!
08:55It's the baby and the house and the kids.
08:56It's too much for her.
08:58She needs some time off.
08:59But if she takes some time off, then who looks after the kids?
09:13I am so hungry.
09:17You could do it.
09:18Huh?
09:19You could take the kids for a weekend.
09:21Why would I want to do that?
09:23Well, because it's just one weekend.
09:25And when she gets back, she'll be relaxed and refreshed
09:29and ready to go again like a brand new drudge.
09:32Yeah.
09:33I guess I could look after my kids for a couple of days.
09:36Seeing as how it's in my own self-interest.
09:39Well, we did it.
09:42We had a problem.
09:43We gave it some thought.
09:44And we solved it.
09:46And I feel pretty good.
09:47Me too.
09:48What day is this?
09:51I have no idea.
09:53Oh.
09:55Not the mama.
09:56Not the mama.
09:57Not the mama.
09:58Not the mama.
09:59Not the mama.
10:00Not the mama.
10:02Not the mama.
10:02You do that one more time, and I'm going to throw you across the room.
10:09Not the mama.
10:11Wee.
10:12Oof.
10:16Again.
10:18What's for dinner?
10:20I don't like your attitude.
10:25Doesn't look done to me.
10:27It's done.
10:28It's damn done.
10:29Hey, you give me that back or I'll kill you.
10:32Here you go, Ace.
10:33Listen, next time you might want to turn the oven on.
10:36Uh, just a thought.
10:37I don't want to turn the oven on.
10:37Oh.
10:42So, uh, what do you think really happened to mom?
10:45River's breakdown carried off by predators?
10:47What?
10:47Dad says she's at grandma's.
10:49Isn't that what they always tell the children?
10:52Hey, uh, dad, when's mom coming back from grandma's?
10:55When she's recuperated from you.
10:57Until then, I'm the mother.
10:58Okay.
10:59Mom, can I go to a movie tonight?
11:01Not a chance.
11:04Dad said I could.
11:09Uh, he really did?
11:11Mm-hmm.
11:12Hey, listen, dad.
11:13I had a late lunch.
11:14I'll see you later, okay?
11:15Where do you think you're going?
11:16Out with the guys to mark some territory.
11:18Well, take a sweater.
11:19Wait!
11:20If he gets to go out, I do too.
11:23Ah!
11:23Oh!
11:25Oh!
11:26Oh!
11:27I slaved over a hot oven making a nice dinner for you kids.
11:31And now you're going to sit at this table and eat that dinner
11:33and express proper gratitude to your mother-father.
11:37Ugh.
11:39He's stuck there.
11:40And yet, we can move freely.
11:44Night!
11:46Hey, hey!
11:47You don't think I'm going to let go of this table and come after you two?
11:50You're playing with fire here.
11:51Oh, I'm telling you.
11:52You're playing with fire!
11:53No, I'm playing with fire.
11:56What?
11:57Ha, ha, oop!
11:58Oh!
12:05Daddy.
12:06What?
12:06Hot.
12:07Oh!
12:08Oh!
12:09What are we doing?
12:10Ah!
12:15Again!
12:16Not again. Not ever again.
12:19No more of this for me.
12:20Tomorrow I go back to work, and I'm only grateful
12:22that I am not the one who has to do this
12:25for the rest of my life.
12:29The mama.
12:32Hi, honey.
12:33How was your day?
12:36No, no, no, no, Fran, don't explode.
12:39Everything's all right.
12:41Take another day away.
12:42I don't want another day away.
12:44I missed it here.
12:45But you're unhappy here.
12:47But I was unhappy away.
12:49Now, Fran, makes sense.
12:50There's only here and away.
12:51The kids made you unhappy.
12:53I gave you a whole weekend off from the kids,
12:55and now you're fixed.
12:56It's not the kids.
12:57Earl, there's something wrong in my life,
13:00and I don't know what it is.
13:02Your life? What life?
13:03Your life is me and the kids.
13:05All right, all right, all right.
13:05Look, here's your life.
13:07This is the kids.
13:09Okay?
13:10And this is...
13:12This is me.
13:14It's me.
13:15Now, if it's not the kids...
13:17What is it?
13:21Hello?
13:23Roy?
13:24It's me.
13:30You should have seen her, Roy.
13:32Just standing there and looking at me.
13:34It made me feel so bad,
13:35it was all I could do to leave the house
13:36and come down to the bar.
13:38Well, what does she want from you?
13:39She doesn't know.
13:41As I understand it, she does not know.
13:43So then why do you have to do anything?
13:45Because I'm the problem.
13:47Look, Earl, I've known you 27 years.
13:50That's longer than Fran's known you.
13:52And in all that time,
13:53I never even thought of you as a problem once.
13:56Yeah, but you're my pal.
13:57Well, what about the rest of you guys?
13:59You know, Earl,
14:00has anybody here got a problem with them?
14:02No problem with them.
14:03Yeah, big guy.
14:05We love you, big guy.
14:09Look, you're a room full of guys
14:10and the problem's with the wife.
14:12And a wife is female.
14:14So maybe what you've got
14:16is a male-female problem.
14:18What kind of male-female problem?
14:20We're married a good long time now
14:21and we just had a new kid.
14:23Anyway, just this morning I said,
14:25I love you.
14:26Did you say it sincerely?
14:27Nah, it was a defense mechanism.
14:29When was the last time
14:30you did the mating dance for your wife?
14:33What are you talking about?
14:34The mating dance.
14:36The ultimate expression
14:38of a male's absolute commitment
14:40to a female.
14:44I myself do it three, four times a week.
14:48The mating dance is a courtship ritual.
14:50You do it to woo and win.
14:51I wooed, I won, I'm done.
14:54Maybe it's time to re-woo.
14:56I don't have to, I got her.
14:57She's in the house.
14:58Maybe the mating dance
14:59isn't just to get her.
15:01Maybe.
15:02It's to keep her.
15:03Forget it.
15:04You don't do the mating dance
15:06for a 38-year-old mother of three.
15:07Why not?
15:09Because...
15:10Because what?
15:12Because...
15:14I forget how.
15:21And finally, in local news,
15:23officials at the city zoo
15:24report no luck
15:25in trying to mate
15:26Ling Ling and Chang Chang,
15:28the two rare imported humans.
15:30Zookeepers are baffled
15:32at why the two seemingly healthy cave people
15:34have not yet produced offspring.
15:36At this point,
15:37it's feared that Ling Ling is barren.
15:40And now for the weather.
15:42I'm going to bed.
15:43Oh, okay.
15:46I'm not cleaning anything up.
15:48I'm just going to bed.
15:49Okay.
15:50Don't expect anything from me.
15:52I wouldn't.
15:53And if a button falls off your shirt,
15:55whose problem is that?
15:56Mine.
15:56All mine.
15:59Good night, dear.
16:00Don't patronize me.
16:03Hey, guys.
16:05Want to make more of an impression
16:06with the ladies?
16:07From time immemorial,
16:09dinosaurs have known
16:10there's only one way
16:12to a woman's heart.
16:13It's not flowers.
16:15It's not candy.
16:16Yes, it's the mating dance.
16:19Whether you're a beginner
16:20wanting to learn your first steps
16:22for after the prom,
16:24or an old married guy
16:26with a wife who's overwhelmed
16:27by one kid too many,
16:29Bell Luster's mating dance academy
16:31has the steps for you.
16:33We're open all night
16:35because, let's face it,
16:37when else you're going to come in?
16:38Bell Luster.
16:39Since 72 million B.C.
16:42Always the same location.
16:43In the heart of the seedy part of town.
16:46Heh.
16:52Hey, you in the door.
16:54How can I help you?
16:55Oh, uh, me?
16:57Well, I'm here for the $29.95
16:59refresher course.
17:01Well, come on.
17:02Let's get started.
17:03Let's try, uh, a bob dip.
17:05Can you bob dip for me?
17:07Well, uh, uh...
17:10Okay, not at all.
17:12Well, we're open all night.
17:15Bend, will you bend?
17:16Come on, I got such a cramp.
17:18You know, I'm not as young
17:19as I used to be.
17:20How old are you?
17:21Uh, 28.
17:22Okay.
17:23Yeah, right.
17:24Left, right.
17:25And left.
17:26Weave.
17:27Weave.
17:28Turn.
17:29Kick.
17:30Ba-ba-dip.
17:32Weave.
17:33Weave.
17:34Turn.
17:35Kick.
17:37Neck.
17:38Neck.
17:39Chin, chin, chin.
17:41Yeah!
17:42Let's see how Marilyn,
17:44our blushing bachelorette,
17:45liked it.
17:46Yeah.
17:48Oh, I could spend
17:50the rest of my life
17:51with you.
17:52Thanks.
17:53I'm married.
17:54$29.95, pay Mel.
17:56Yeah, okay.
17:59Mel?
18:01It's a beautiful thing
18:02you do.
18:03Oh, it's very fulfilling.
18:06Next!
18:08Caveman from the zoo.
18:11Chang-Chang!
18:12Come on in.
18:13We've been expecting you.
18:32Franny.
18:36Franny?
18:38Yoo-hoo!
18:40Franny?
18:41Franny?
18:41Mmm.
18:44Earl, where have you been?
18:45I've been out
18:46taking care of your problem,
18:47friend.
18:48And you'll be happy to know
18:49that you don't have
18:50a problem anymore.
18:51I'm so happy.
18:53Good night.
18:54No, no, no.
18:55Look.
18:55You're gonna want to see this.
18:57It's important.
18:58I learned it all over again
18:59just for you.
19:08Oh.
19:09Mm-hmm.
19:13Oh.
19:15Ah.
19:18Oh, oh, oh, oh.
19:21Mmm.
19:23Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
19:31Fran?
19:39Your problem is just that you're tired all the time.
19:47I'm up again!
19:49I'll get it.
19:51No, no, sweetheart. You sleep. You need your sleep.
19:59What?
20:03Not the mama! Not the mama! Not the mama! Not the mama!
20:07I really wish you'd grow out of this.
20:09Hey, weekend guy. You think you got what it takes to put me to sleep?
20:13Please. I've outlasted actual mamas.
20:17Hey, what are you doing?
20:20Hey, this is nice. I like it.
20:23Hey, you like that? Then you'll really like this.
20:26What? Whoa!
20:28Oh, this is fun.
20:31What are you doing, Daddy?
20:33Yeah...
20:33What are you doing?
20:36Whoa, Daddy's dancing!
20:37What's the same thing?
20:38Lay it, let me tu chi...
20:43Ahh, there you can e- lungs!
20:48You're dancing...
20:49You're dancing, dancing, dancing...
20:50You're dancing...
20:51If you can feel free...
20:58Like, you're dancing.
21:15Look, look. He fell asleep. I did it.
21:18You put the baby to sleep with the mating dance.
21:21No, no, no. That was just a baby dance.
21:25I loved it.
21:27But why didn't you like the real one I did for you upstairs?
21:30I liked that one 20 years ago.
21:33Now I like this dance, where you got up out of bed in the middle of the night and helped
21:38me.
21:39That's the best mating dance I've ever seen.
21:45Come on.
21:47What are we doing?
21:49What would you like to do?
21:51If it's all the same to you, Fran, I'd like to catch about 40 winks.
21:55You got it, big boy.
22:10서 plastics
22:12To be любbed
22:13What would you like to do?
22:17What would you like to do?
22:17Who would you like to do it, boy?
22:24How do you like to try it?
22:24How do you like to drive you into it?
22:25Very Se
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