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00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:31Honey, I'm home!
01:01Once again, it's time to learn about science on Ask Mr. Lizard.
01:05Hi, kids.
01:07Hi, Mr. Lizard.
01:08Hi, Mr. Lizard. What are we going to learn today?
01:11Well, Timmy, what do you think would happen if we mix potassium nitrate, charcoal, and sulfur?
01:18Gee, Mr. Lizard, I don't know.
01:20We're going to need another Timmy.
01:23Gee, Mr. Lizard, nothing's happening.
01:25Well, Timmy, maybe we need to put some light on the subject.
01:29We're going to need another Timmy.
01:33Say it.
01:35We're going to need another Timmy.
01:37Yay!
01:39Cool.
01:40Yay!
01:41Finish your cereal.
01:43No cereal, juice.
01:43First cereal, then juice.
01:45First juice.
01:45Then cereal.
01:46We'll see.
01:47Oh.
01:48Huh.
01:56All right, all right.
01:58Here you go.
02:03Would one of you keep an eye on your brother while I'm upstairs?
02:05It's his turn.
02:06I watched him yesterday.
02:08Hey!
02:08Thank you both so much.
02:10And make sure he eats his cereal.
02:12Yeah.
02:12Yeah.
02:13Yeah.
02:13Yeah.
02:14Right.
02:15Yeah.
02:22Got to love me.
02:23Uh.
02:26Clean it up.
02:26You clean it up.
02:27No, you clean it up.
02:28I got to go upstairs.
02:29I got to go upstairs.
02:30Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
02:32Hmm.
02:34Brother, sister, I'm all alone.
02:52I got to go upstairs.
03:04Alright.
03:05What do you want?
03:07Ice cream!
03:08Ice cream!
03:21Cookies!
03:23Cookies! Cookies!
03:24Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:27Cake, candy, frozen yogurt!
03:30Come on! Keep it coming! Keep it coming!
03:32More, more, more!
03:33More, more, more!
03:35Jelly beans!
03:36Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
03:38All right! Keep it coming! Keep it coming!
04:10Morning, kids. What are you doing?
04:12Watching the baby.
04:13Me too.
04:14Nice to see you accepting more responsibility.
04:21Whee!
04:33Franny, where'd all the sugar go?
04:35Whee!
04:37Franny, I'm calling you.
04:42Whee-hoo!
04:44What was that?
04:46Oh!
04:48Oh!
04:51You made all this mess?
04:53I'm vibrating!
04:55I am not cleaning this up.
05:01Earl!
05:02Don't Earl me.
05:03I just passed through this house on my way to work.
05:05I was upstairs with Robbie and Charlene's laundry.
05:08I can't deal with all three kids at the same time.
05:11I told you two kids, but oh, no.
05:14Now there's three of them and two of us.
05:16We lost.
05:17Three to two.
05:18You're talking about our family, Earl.
05:21Excuse me, Fran, but I was prepared for child one and child two.
05:25We planned for them.
05:26They arrived on schedule, and I thought the family was complete.
05:29But no!
05:31Arriving on track number three.
05:33Go!
05:34Whee!
05:35Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga.
05:43Woo-woo!
05:44Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga.
05:44Woo-woo!
05:45Oh, I'm the baby. Gotta love me.
05:47I'm the daddy. Gotta go to work.
05:49How about a kiss?
05:51Oh.
05:53Oh.
05:56Your daddy just needs to spend more time with you
05:58so he can get to know every little bit of you like I do.
06:03See my bump?
06:05What the heck is that?
06:10I don't understand.
06:12It started out as this little bump.
06:14What do you think it is?
06:15In my professional opinion?
06:17Yes.
06:18A long, gold, bony thing with a point.
06:21Of course, we haven't done any tests as of yet.
06:24It's like a horn.
06:26Yes, in a way.
06:27Let me see. Where?
06:28How did it happen?
06:30Well, judging from its size and its color,
06:33I have no idea.
06:35Well, he did eat a lot of sugar this morning.
06:37Well, so did I, but I don't look like a freak of nature.
06:41Well, good luck to you.
06:42Uh, Doctor, wait.
06:44Uh, you, you won't tell anyone, will you?
06:46Oh, please. I'm a doctor.
06:49Patient confidentiality absolutely prohibits me
06:52from telling anybody about things like that.
06:55Hey, Earl.
06:55How's a little freak of nature?
06:57Now you got a son and a headwrap.
07:02All right. Very funny. Very funny.
07:05Let's all have a good laugh at my family's pain and suffering.
07:11Well, no offense.
07:13Glad it didn't happen to me.
07:14Touchy, touchy.
07:15Okay, my best buddy in all the world.
07:18Your turn.
07:19I suppose you have an amusing remark about my son's affliction?
07:22Hey, would I never, Pally Boy?
07:25You know, I don't often let people in on this,
07:27but, uh, there was one time in my life
07:30when I had short little stubby arms.
07:37Yep, I did.
07:39Roy, you're a Tyrannosaurus.
07:41What are you saying?
07:43Nothing.
07:44Oh.
07:45All I know is that my life was not nearly as difficult
07:48when I only had two kids.
07:50Is that a terrible thing to say?
07:52Why do I always get picked last for the bowling team?
07:57Whistling
08:06Best two out of three?
08:07Yeah.
08:08Charlene!
08:09You told us to play with him.
08:12Fran, I want that thing off that kid's face.
08:14I don't care what it takes. Just do it.
08:17How was your day, dear?
08:19Saw it off, Fran. Saw it off right now.
08:21We are not sawing off a piece of our child's head.
08:24But I'm getting teased at work.
08:26That's not a good reason, Earl.
08:28This, on the other hand, is a very good reason.
08:32Where did you get that, Ethel?
08:33A dinosaur in a black cloak delivered it.
08:36Oh, no.
08:37What is it, Dad?
08:38It's the official scroll with the official red ribbon.
08:42Well, what does it mean?
08:43It means...
08:46I've been summoned, haven't I?
08:48The Council of Elders meeting in the Cave of Destiny.
08:52Deep within the Mountain of Terror, half a block south of Mort's Big and Tall, hereby summons Earl Sinclair.
09:01What have I done? What have I done?
09:03And his infant son.
09:05I knew it. I told you. Nothing but trouble, I said.
09:09But it's such a sweet thing, you said.
09:11Well, well, this...
09:15I don't get it.
09:16What's the big deal about this cave of old guys?
09:19Yeah.
09:19Terror, horror. No one ever comes back.
09:22I hear they once made a guy bite off his own head.
09:25Earl, calm down.
09:27All these wild tales of mystical voodoo mumbo-jumbo are just silly rumors.
09:53Hiya.
09:54Silence!
09:54You got it.
09:56Are you the father of this horned child?
10:02Oh, jeez.
10:04Yeah, I am.
10:05But please don't make me bite off my own head.
10:08I was practicing in the lobby and it just wasn't happening.
10:10Silence!
10:11You got it.
10:12Do you understand the significance of the golden horn?
10:17No.
10:19But I could chew off my foot if you want.
10:22Behold, the sacred book of dinosaur, the wisdom of the ages handed down from the beginning of time.
10:27And there shall come a child from whom shall grow a golden horn, and he shall be king of the
10:34dinosaurs.
10:36King?
10:37And he shall be born of a noble mother, and his father shall be courageous and wise.
10:47Give me the white-up.
10:55Father shall be a blithering idiot.
10:59Can he do that?
11:01And this golden child shall be revered from near and far.
11:05Junior, you hear that?
11:06Uh, gotta go.
11:08No, no.
11:10And from his mouth, his simple words shall ring out only the purest truth.
11:14Uh, gotta go.
11:16Junior, hold it in.
11:17Behold, the king of the dinosaurs.
11:20Behold, his brow is hit with wisdom.
11:24Hey, are you guys really serious?
11:26Behold, he is about to speak.
11:31I made a big poop.
11:50The making of a king, day two.
11:52Now here's DNN correspondent, Howard Handupme.
11:55Good evening.
11:57As prophesized in the book of dinosaur, a chow with a golden horn has been found and declared the new
12:02king.
12:03This was the scene yesterday at the Cave of Destiny.
12:08Behold, the king.
12:12I don't have to take a nap.
12:15Today, the king holds court at his parents' home as thousands flock to see the infant sovereign and touch the
12:21sacred horn.
12:23Make way. Coming through. Following the king. Coming through.
12:26All right, all right. Get back. Wait your turn.
12:30Peasants.
12:33There he is. How's daddy's little monarch?
12:37Wanna go night-night?
12:39Ooh, heavy is the head that wears the crown.
12:42Earl, it's time for his nap now.
12:45Nonsense, wife of the father of the king.
12:47The problems of state never nap.
12:50Our little potentate has subjects to receive,
12:54disputes to settle, athletic gear to endorse.
13:00Prince Robert?
13:01Yeah, dad.
13:02Princess Charlene could use some help out there granting admittance to those commoners who would seek an audience with their
13:07king.
13:09Forget it, dad. I'm not bowing down to my little brother just because he's got some horn growing out of
13:13his head.
13:13And those dinosaurs outside are just sheep.
13:17Have you noticed that some of those sheep are cheerleaders?
13:22Your majesty. Yes.
13:26Oh, look dad. It's Mr. Turtlepuss and the guys from work.
13:30Hi Earl.
13:30We've come to pay homage to the king.
13:34Oh, lookie who's here.
13:36The three wise guys who've come to make some humorous affliction remarks about my son.
13:40The royal hat rack.
13:41Well, we brought gifts.
13:43Yeah.
13:44Spices from the north.
13:45Silk from the east.
13:48One of those big plastic fire trucks with ladders and hoses that squirt.
13:53Gimme!
13:53Well, I'm not so sure your transparent generosity is acceptable to the king.
13:57Yes, it is.
13:59Earl, we were sorry about what we said.
14:01Yeah, we didn't mean anything.
14:03How are we supposed to know the kid was so special?
14:06I knew.
14:07I always knew.
14:08I knew from the day this kid was hatched that I was the father of a very, very special treasure.
14:17What?
14:28Boy, those kings on a stick went like crazy.
14:31Just look at this floor.
14:32Everyone in Pangaea must have trooped through this room.
14:35Yeah, well, a monarch's work is never done.
14:38It still isn't, Dad.
14:39There's one more loyal subject out here.
14:42Hey there, Polly Boy.
14:43Roy, come on in.
14:45Glad to see you.
14:46Come down to have a beer and shoot the breeze?
14:48Uh, actually, I wanted to talk to the king for a minute if it's all the same to you there,
14:53Earl.
14:53Uncle Roy!
14:54Sure, sure.
14:55Step right up.
14:56You're a good friend of the court, after all.
14:58The best friend.
15:00Uh, not to overstep my bounds or nothing, but could I speak to the king alone?
15:05Sure, I guess, if you want to.
15:07All right.
15:08I'll just go over here.
15:09Good.
15:11Uh.
15:12Uh.
15:14Uh.
15:15Uh.
15:18Uncle Roy.
15:19Uh, as I understand it, now that you're the king, well, you may have some kind of mystical powers of
15:27a supernatural nature.
15:28Hi, Uncle Roy.
15:29Yeah, hi.
15:30And I was hoping you could, uh, see a way clear to granting me a wish.
15:36Just?
15:37Thanks, no.
15:38No.
15:38I realize I'm a Tyrannosaurus, and as a Tyrannosaurus, I use my massive jaws to tear stuff limb from limb.
15:47But, I, well, tell you the truth, I always wanted to play the piano.
15:54Hmm.
15:56Eat with a fork.
15:58Get picked first for the bowling team.
16:00Want a fire truck?
16:02No.
16:03I want longer arms.
16:05Can you do that for me?
16:10Funny arms.
16:12Uh, no.
16:14Like them.
16:16You do.
16:17Like you.
16:18You do?
16:19Hmm.
16:20So I'm just being stupid.
16:24Stupid.
16:25Yeah, I guess I am.
16:27Uncle Roy?
16:28Yeah.
16:33Hey.
16:37Hey.
16:38You got a great king there, Pallyboy.
16:41Yeah.
16:42Thanks, Roy, old buddy.
16:45Yeah.
16:45I got a great kid.
16:48Hey!
16:52Hey!
16:54Hey!
16:54Hey!
16:58What are you talking about?
16:59He is king now.
17:01He must join us in the cave of destiny where we can train him in the manner of a ruler.
17:06King!
17:06What makes you think my husband and I are going to stand by while you walk out of here with
17:11our baby?
17:11Shush.
17:13He who defies the will of the elder shall be thrown into the fiery pit of despair and suffer
17:19an eternity of unspeakable torment, roasting in the unrelenting fires of absolute misery.
17:27Bye.
17:44Um, good dinner, Mom.
17:46Don't start it on me.
17:47What'd I say?
17:49Charlene, sweetheart, it's all right.
17:51Your mother just hasn't come to terms with the fact that your little brother is not with
17:55us anymore.
17:57Oh, I understand.
17:58Good.
18:00Robbie?
18:00Hmm?
18:01Oh, yeah.
18:03Not the mother.
18:04Not the mother.
18:08No, that's not it at all.
18:09Yeah, it's the wrong pot, isn't it?
18:11No, it doesn't matter.
18:12It can never be the same.
18:14Yeah.
18:14Just forget it.
18:15Should I throw some food at you?
18:17Oh, that's sweet, Charlene.
18:19But it won't change the fact that... that... my baby is good!
18:28They took him away to a beautiful place and a wonderful life where he'll get everything
18:34he could ever need.
18:39I'm not gonna be the one who gives it to him.
18:43Oh, Dad.
18:44Robbie, Charlene, could you give us a moment, please?
18:48Sure.
18:49Yeah.
18:50I'll practice on Charlene.
19:00It's all my fault, Fran.
19:02I said we should have never had a third kid.
19:05I said we should have stopped it, too.
19:07How could I have been so foolish?
19:09Earl, if you want a third child again, there's only one thing left to do.
19:14Oh, jeez, Fran.
19:16I'm not in the mood.
19:17Of course, I could get in the mood.
19:20Couple of cocktails, rub my back.
19:23Go get our son and bring him back.
19:27All right.
19:27You're right.
19:28I'm going up there and getting my son back and I'm gonna get him back right now.
19:32Number 4077.
19:36Oh, oh, oh, well, all I want to do is add a second story to my garage.
19:42But it's Zoned R1, so I need 10 additional feet from my property line.
19:47Anyway, I was wondering, could you grant me a variance?
19:51Kiss the doll.
19:52Oh, sure.
19:54The variance is granted.
19:56Touch the horn and go.
19:59Oh, thank you.
20:02Oh, my, my contractor's gonna be so thrilled.
20:064078.
20:07Give me a whitefish.
20:10What?
20:13Isn't this the cave deli?
20:15It's the cave of destiny.
20:17I've been standing here 16 hours.
20:19What do you want from me?
20:21I just wanted to get a piece of fish for myself.
20:244079.
20:26That's me.
20:27Approach the king.
20:29State your case.
20:30You have three minutes.
20:31I know you.
20:33He remembers me.
20:35Not the mama.
20:37Nobody else does it like him.
20:39Two minutes.
20:42I came here to take you home.
20:44But the guard at the door with the machine gun said that wouldn't be possible, son.
20:48He's not your son.
20:50He is the king.
20:51You have one minute.
20:55I guess I didn't treat you much like a king, did I?
20:59You were new.
21:00You were my third child and your mother says I should have spent more time with you.
21:05And then you became king and they took you away.
21:08So now it's too late.
21:10But I want you to know.
21:12Even though all these guys think you're king cause you got that horn, you will always be my son.
21:20Your time is up.
21:22Touch the horn and be gone.
21:35Son, the horn, it's falling off.
21:37You need the horn to be the king.
21:39Without the horn you'll just be my son.
21:44Daddy.
21:46No.
22:10The king is a hose, day one.
22:12Now here is Howard, hand up me.
22:15Thousands are stunned as today the golden horn of the Sinclair baby falls off suddenly.
22:20The horn, first thought to be a portent of a golden age for all dinosaur civilization, is now believed to
22:26be just one of those things.
22:34Gee, Mr. Lizard, what should I do with the nitroglycerin?
22:37We're going to need another Timmy!
22:40Well, Timmy, you just pour it into the blender there while I get behind this lead shield.
22:47Okay.
22:48Say it!
22:52We're going to need another Timmy!
22:54Yay!
23:18We're going to need another Timmy!
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