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00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:36Honey, I'm home.
01:03A meteor, three times the size of Earth, is heading towards us in a collision course
01:08that will result in the extinction of all life on this planet.
01:11This just in?
01:13No, it's not.
01:15Oh, good.
01:20Ah, nice one.
01:26Don't you touch that remote control.
01:29Don't you pick that up.
01:32You turn off that television, you're going to be one sorry little dinosaur.
01:38I'm sorry.
01:39Give me that back.
01:40Story.
01:41No story.
01:42Story.
01:42No story.
01:43Story.
01:44No story.
01:44Give me that back.
01:47Once upon a time, dinosaurs didn't have families.
01:50They lived in the woods and ate their children and it was a golden age.
01:55Then what?
01:56Well, then one day, not very long ago, daddy dinosaurs and mommy dinosaurs started getting
02:01married and living in houses and raising children.
02:04And lived happily ever after.
02:06Well, that was the idea.
02:07What happened?
02:08Well, some dinosaurs wondered if they were doing the right thing.
02:12I want to be in the story.
02:13You are.
02:14Oh.
02:14But it starts just before you were born.
02:17Oh.
02:17Your mother was cooking dinner, as usual, and dinner was trying to escape, as usual.
02:22Why don't you show us what's coming up next?
02:29Housewives, pirates chasing dinner all over the house.
02:32Then you'll want this beautiful 32-piece cookware set featuring the new creature screen.
02:38Hey, lady, you might want to see this.
02:42Well, Arlene, we've got 700,000 left and at the rate they're going.
02:46Mmm.
02:49Fran, I'm home.
02:50I'm hungry.
02:51Oh, no, no.
02:52I'm stuck in the door again.
02:54Earl, they are selling the most wonderful thing here on TV.
02:57Why is there not dinner on the table, Fran?
02:59Hey, hey.
03:01Whoa.
03:02Was that dinner?
03:03Did dinner just run out of here through my legs?
03:05They've got these new pots and pans with creature screens.
03:08If you love me, you'll get them for me.
03:10Do you love me?
03:12I just got home.
03:16There's nothing in here.
03:18There's no dinner.
03:18There's no vegetables.
03:19Dinner ate the vegetables.
03:21And then just left like that?
03:23Without coffee?
03:24Well, he's never coming back.
03:26Hi, Daddy.
03:27How was your day?
03:28Not a dime, Charlene.
03:29Daddy, can't I even say hello without you thinking that I want something?
03:37A sweater.
03:38I just want a sweater.
03:40And I just want dinner, and it don't look good for either one of us.
03:42You can have a frozen dinner, Earl.
03:44We've got a frozen dinner right here.
03:47Hey, frozen dinner.
03:48Oh, that's great.
03:50I come home to a frozen dinner on the day of all days.
03:53Obviously, you forget what the day is, Fran.
03:55It's paycheck day.
03:56Paycheck day.
03:57The day I get my check, and it says how much I make.
04:01I'm sorry, Daddy.
04:02I'll set the table.
04:06And your apology would go how?
04:10Pots and pans to cook your dinner with.
04:13Dinner for you?
04:14Gee, I don't know where my apology should begin.
04:17Oh, come on, honey.
04:19You know I'd buy you the move.
04:20I just want the pots.
04:21No, uh-uh.
04:22Why not?
04:23Because for once, there is something I want.
04:25It's unbelievable that I should actually want to spend my money on something for me.
04:29Something I no longer feel I can be without it.
04:32What's that?
04:33A 90-inch television set.
04:34Earl, Snead, Sinclair.
04:37Oh, God, my own name.
04:39I am your wife.
04:40And I am the mighty Megalosaurus, the king of the dinosaurs, the Thunder Lizard.
04:45And if the Thunder Lizard wants a 90-inch television set, he's going to get a 90-inch television set.
04:52So what do you have to say about that?
04:54But Tyrannosaurus Rex is king of the dinosaurs.
04:57That's debatable.
04:58No, it's not.
04:59I dated one in high school.
05:03Look, this whole entire going-to-school concept, like, doesn't work and isn't going to last, okay?
05:08Here's my report card.
05:09I'll see you around the swamp.
05:10Ow!
05:11I knew it.
05:12It says here you don't apply yourself.
05:14It says here you've got potential.
05:16That's a cheap motivational ploy.
05:17What, you don't see through that?
05:19Ow!
05:19I knew it.
05:21Look, I'm just having a hard time with numbers and dates.
05:23Why?
05:24Well, because if this is the year 60 million and three, why is next year 60 million and two?
05:29Why are we counting backwards?
05:30What are we waiting for?
05:32Uh, uh, Franny?
05:35Maybe you ask too many questions?
05:37Eh.
05:37School is not for asking questions.
05:39It's a place you go to be out of this house.
05:41Maybe we should consider hiring Robbie a tutor.
05:43Hey, could we get Connie DeSalvo?
05:45Because I could be motivated to study with her.
05:47Come on, Earl.
05:48How much could a tutor cost?
05:50Exactly the same price as a 90-inch television fan.
05:53Because that's the way my life works.
05:55And I'm not giving up my TV just because he's not working up to his potential.
05:59Dad, I'm begging you to understand I have no potential.
06:02Come on, Earl.
06:03You know the right thing to do.
06:06The right thing to do?
06:08Potential.
06:12Am I in this door yet?
06:13I'm getting to you.
06:14What happened next?
06:15I went to work.
06:16Why?
06:17Because your mother makes me.
06:19Am I at work?
06:20No.
06:21Am I at work?
06:21No.
06:22Am I at work?
06:22Yes.
06:23Yes.
06:24No, I'm not.
06:32Morning, Ed.
06:38Morning, sir.
06:41Why is the right thing to do always the one where I have to spend all my money on nothing
06:45I get?
06:46Why does my life have to be like this?
06:49Well, now, isn't this the choice you made, Polly Boy?
06:51Getting married, having a wife and kids, and not eating them?
06:55This is no experimental stuff.
06:58I would just for once like to have some money in my pocket after my family spends every cent I
07:03got.
07:03Well, then you better march yourself into that trailer and ask Richfield for a raise.
07:07Oh, well, I don't normally talk to Mr. Richfield.
07:11And why not?
07:11Well, he's...
07:13I'm just a regular tree pusher, and he's executive supervisor, and have you recently seen the size of his, Steve?
07:18Well, that just may be, Earl, but this is for your family now, for your future.
07:25So, Roy, do you really think the boss would give me a raise?
07:28Yeah.
07:29You gave this company the best years of your life.
07:32Yeah.
07:32Well, maybe not the best years, but certainly the least miserable years of a generally crummy time I'm having.
07:37Hey, that's the spirit.
07:38Maybe I should go in there right now.
07:40Attaboy, Mr. Stand-Up to the boss, Sinclair.
07:43I'm gonna give that guy what's what.
07:45You're gonna tell him where to get off.
07:47Yeah.
07:47Yeah.
07:48Uh, wanna come in with me?
07:50No.
07:50Big T.
07:56Uh, excuse me, Mr. Richfield.
08:01Ow!
08:03Oh, God.
08:04Why aren't you out there knocking down trees?
08:07You're right.
08:07I should be.
08:08I'm leaving.
08:09I'm getting out of here.
08:11I have a family, Mr. Richfield.
08:14I can't afford to get my wife a present, and I can't afford to buy my children the things
08:17that I'd like to.
08:18Tree pushers get $4 an hour.
08:22Well, I need a raise.
08:33Sinclair, you dog.
08:36Twenty years you work here, and I never would have figured you had it in you to come in here
08:40and take me on.
08:41But take me on you do, mano a mano, one-on-one.
08:45That's guts ball, Sinclair.
08:47I like a guy who plays guts ball like it.
08:50Oh, well, thank you, sir.
08:52So, I guess I'm gonna have to take your little ultimatum seriously, aren't I?
08:57Oh, I would appreciate that, sir.
08:58Cause a guy comes in here and puts a gun to my head.
09:01No, no, no, no.
09:02I meant no gun, sir.
09:03Must be prepared to back up his track.
09:06So, I'm gonna ask you.
09:08You wanna raise?
09:09Or what?
09:09Uh, or not.
09:11What puts you in the position to come in here with your slate of demands?
09:15Well, uh, I got a wife and a family.
09:17Well, where is this my fault?
09:19I'm not blaming you.
09:20Then why do I have to pay for your family?
09:23I just need more money.
09:25Nah.
09:25The way I see it, you don't need more money.
09:27You need less family.
09:29But, but, but I love my family.
09:32Well, obviously you do, since you're ready to quit your job form.
09:35What?
09:36You face me down, demand more money, I ain't gonna give it to you.
09:41So, you got no alternative but to look me in the eye and say,
09:44I'm sorry.
09:45I quit!
09:46I quit?
09:47Oh, well, sorry to lose you, Sinclair, all these years.
09:52But, sir, I like this company.
09:54I always dreamed I'd go somewhere with this company.
09:58Don't dream, Sinclair.
10:00No dreams for you.
10:01You are what you are, and that's all you ever gonna be.
10:04Except now with this company.
10:07Best thing for you to do is realize that now.
10:09Best thing in the world.
10:10You thank me.
10:11But, but, sir...
10:12Thank me!
10:13Uh, thank you.
10:14Thank you ever so.
10:15Uh, mister, mister, uh, goodbye.
10:23What a day.
10:28How was your day, dear?
10:30Compared to what, Fran?
10:32Compared to walking off a cliff, falling 10,000 feet but living just long enough to see that
10:36first vulture swoop down and pick out my eyes?
10:39It's a tie.
10:40Give me a beer.
10:44might, might, might, might, might, might, might.
10:48Well, I had a rather interesting day.
10:51Do you want to know about my day?
10:53Frances, I'm done raising the kids.
10:56They're 12 and 14.
10:57They're done.
10:58I figure whatever they're gonna be, they're it.
11:00You really should ask me about my day, Earl.
11:03Look, Fran, I say this with all love and everything, but...
11:06I don't give a damn about your day.
11:08Ask me about my day.
11:13Francis, nothing that happened in your little day
11:16has any impact on how I'm going to live the rest of my life.
11:20Oh, yeah?
11:35That better be breakfast.
11:45So, Mom, stop me if I'm being, like, insensitive or anything,
11:49but you and Dad can still have children?
11:50Looks like you're just going to have to stop thinking of your father and me
11:54as a couple of old dinosaurs, huh?
11:56Did you and Daddy really want to have another baby, Ma?
11:59Charlene, we feel the same way about this little egg
12:01as we felt about Robbie and you.
12:04How in the hell could this have happened?
12:07Gee, Daddy, just when you've almost got Robbie and me out of the house,
12:11you go ahead and have another baby.
12:14Yeah, and this baby won't be leaving for college till it's 18,
12:17which effectively pretty much covers your life span.
12:19So you either got to be the most dedicated father in the world...
12:25...or not.
12:28In my 60s, friend.
12:30I'm going to be in my 60s before I get my life back.
12:36Unless there's nothing in that egg.
12:38What?
12:39Well, have you held it up to the light yet?
12:40Oh, don't be silly.
12:41Well, then how do you know this egg isn't a dud?
12:43It happens. It happens all the time.
12:45We had three duds before we had Charlene.
12:47No, we had two duds and Robbie.
12:49I'm saying!
12:50Oh, oh, oh, I'm having an anxiety attack here, friend.
12:54And maybe I don't need to because maybe there's nothing in there.
12:58Oh, oh, oh.
13:00Not that I'm saying anything bad about the virtues of family life,
13:03but, oh, geez, you're killing me, friend.
13:07What I'm trying to say is that life holds such enormous possibilities
13:12as long as there's nothing in there.
13:33Sweetheart, what do you think about doing the walls of the baby's room
13:36in a cute little dancing caveman motif?
13:38I'm 43 years old. I haven't even been to Europe.
13:40Rage with the little ones, right, sweetheart?
13:44Earl?
13:45Earl?
13:49You took a walk?
13:50I took a long walk.
13:52Because of me?
13:53Well, because of a lot of things.
13:55But mostly me.
13:56Remember I told you that dinosaurs used to live in the forest a long time ago?
14:00Me.
14:01And how we came out of the forest to get married and have families.
14:04Am I in the story yet?
14:06Well, I went back to the forest to see if we were right.
14:09I'm going to bite you now.
14:22Okay, this is it.
14:24The wilderness of my ancestors
14:26where my spirit belongs
14:28and my soul longs to be.
14:31Jeez, it's cold.
14:35So what?
14:36Small price to pay for the freedom to do whatever I want.
14:42Whoa, sack time.
14:44Hey, what am I looking for?
14:47A bed?
14:47The ground is my bed.
14:50The rocks are my pillows.
14:52And my blanket is the freezing air.
15:05This is nuts!
15:07How could wild dinosaurs get any sleep out here?
15:10Well, what?
15:14Okay, hold.
15:15Who goes there?
15:16Just come out with your hands up
15:18and offer me your meaty portions
15:19because you have unwittingly stumbled into the lair
15:22of the mighty Megalosaurus.
15:24The...
15:24Nope.
15:25You!
15:26Do we know each other?
15:28Yeah, we know each other.
15:30In fact, my main course last night
15:32was supposed to be you, Stu.
15:33But right now,
15:34I'm going to settle for
15:35come as you are, Ty-Ty.
15:38Oh, well, if you plan on eating me,
15:40please, go ahead.
15:41You'll be doing me a favor, actually.
15:42What do you mean?
15:44Well, I used to live here,
15:46right on this spot.
15:47There used to be a tree here
15:48and I lived in it with my family.
15:50Now, some idiot knocked over these trees.
15:52I know my insurance doesn't cover that.
15:54I don't know where my family went.
15:57Look, just eat me
15:58and get it over with, will you?
15:59Oh, well, that's awfully sporting of you there.
16:02Arthur.
16:03Arthur Rizik.
16:04Earl.
16:04Earl Sinclair.
16:05How you doing?
16:06Glad to know you.
16:07You know, I'm going to let you
16:08in on a little something there, Rizik.
16:09You're really better off
16:10being rid of your family.
16:11Yeah?
16:12Oh, sure.
16:13Family is one of civilization's worst ideas.
16:15You support them,
16:16you give them all your money,
16:17you put food on the table.
16:19No offense there, Rizik.
16:20None.
16:20And what do they do for you?
16:23They get you fired
16:24from the only thing
16:25you were ever good at.
16:31You knocked all these trees down?
16:34Yeah.
16:34And I done you a favor there, Rizik,
16:36because now,
16:37without your family,
16:38you're wild and untamed and free.
16:40Huh?
16:41Look, Earl,
16:42maybe I've just got a different perspective
16:43from my place in the food chain.
16:45What do you mean?
16:46Well, if I was a big dinosaur like you
16:49and everybody respected me
16:50and listened to me,
16:51everybody listens to you, right?
16:53Oh, yeah, sure.
16:54Well, then maybe I wouldn't need a family.
16:56But to tell you the truth,
16:57my family's all that listens to me.
16:59My house is the only place in the world
17:01where I'm the boss.
17:02So then, uh,
17:04without your family...
17:05I'm completely nothing.
17:07Just alone out here in the cold.
17:09Of course, your kind rules the world,
17:11so you wouldn't understand.
17:12Uh, no, no,
17:13of course not.
17:14I rule the world.
17:15I am the, uh,
17:16mighty, uh,
17:17whatever.
17:18So,
17:19why don't you just devour me
17:21and let's call it a night?
17:22Uh,
17:23yeah,
17:24yeah, okay.
17:25Okay.
17:39Get out of here.
17:42I said,
17:42go on,
17:43get out of here.
17:44I won't forget this.
17:45Yeah.
17:46I'm too tired to eat.
17:48There's no ketchup.
17:49There's no beverage.
17:51Oh,
17:51this stinks.
17:55Oh,
17:56let me just sit down and die
17:57because I am just a total disgrace
17:59to my ancestors.
18:03What's that?
18:06That smells like...
18:08It is.
18:10That's Fran's Mastodime surprise.
18:13Out here in the wilderness.
18:14I'm saved.
18:18What?
18:20Hey.
18:21Hey.
18:22Whoa.
18:25Go.
18:27Go!
18:28Go!
18:29Let's go.
18:40Go!
18:41Go!
18:42Go!
18:43Go!
18:53i could have made it out here of course dear so what's for dessert chocolate hippo cake at home
19:02uh how you doing there mr richfield sir uh pursuant to the matter of severing me from my job
19:08i thought there might be the matter of uh severance pay if you will get back to work sinclair
19:15oh you've had a change of heart my captain no i've had a report from my new assistant how you
19:21doing
19:23no family here all day and night nowhere else to go perfect executive material did you put
19:29sinclair's name back on the active roster yes sir mr richfield and i put him down for a raise in
19:34salary how much yeah imperceptible done you were gonna be my dinner and now you're my boss's
19:42assistant and i gotta treat you with respect and deference wow i can't eat you at all oh boy kind
19:49of funny huh get back to work sinclair yes sir mr is it yes sir what a world
20:00oh the baby wanna come out soon oh the baby hey friend take a look at this
20:07earl a paycheck note the imperceptible raise well your career is taking off you've got a wonderful
20:14family to come home to are you a happy dinosaur earl i think i am friend because now i realize
20:21what's
20:22special about being the head of a household what's that dear robbie charlene get your tails in here
20:28this is your father talking the king of the whole house you see friend i learned something during my
20:35time in the woods no matter how low you are in this world as long as you have a family
20:40to come home to
20:41well then lower it isn't often i get to see the sentimental side of you earl all right look i'm
20:51gonna say this one time it's only natural in a dinosaur's life to go off alone one day and wonder
20:57what things would have been like if he had traveled a different road but you know what i take a
21:02look at
21:02all of us and i hope nothing ever happens to change the way we are oh god oh god
21:22whoa whoa i'm on the floor whoa oh lots of feet can't get up
21:31oh it's adorable whoa i'm naked who's the mama where's the mama come here you sweet thing
21:46oh hi how you doing how you doing how you doing earl this is your baby baby this is your
21:56daddy
21:57hi i'm the baby brand new just out gotta love me come on gotta love me
22:07daddy
22:15that was a good story especially me yep that's the way you came into this world and someday it will
22:23all belong to you because you and your brother and your sister were all born dinosaurs and dinosaurs
22:54and we're gonna rule the world forever
23:02so
23:09so
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