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#TheGrandTour #OneForTheRoad #ClarksonHammondMay #FinalLap #ZimbabweSpecial

After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.

#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory

Category

🚗
Motor
Transcript
00:01:02Thank you very much.
00:01:04Thank you so much, everyone.
00:01:06Hello, everyone.
00:01:11Thank you, everybody.
00:01:12Thank you so much.
00:01:16Thank you so much.
00:01:19Welcome and happy Christmas.
00:01:21And in this show, which has a tree over there and nothing else festive at all, I drive the Bugatti
00:01:31Chiron in Saint-Tropez.
00:01:34And in the Alps.
00:01:37And through the streets of Chiron.
00:01:41But we start with James May, who has been driving a Kia hatchback.
00:01:48So he gets to drive around the best bits of Europe in a Bugatti and you get a Kia.
00:01:53You can shut up, Hammond.
00:01:55Because if you remember rightly, you were supposed to go and drive the Kia hatchback, but you couldn't because you
00:02:00can't drive round corners without crashing.
00:02:03Were you his stand-in?
00:02:05Yes.
00:02:05Has he said thank you?
00:02:07No, he hasn't, actually.
00:02:09It's unbelievably selfish, Hammond.
00:02:10You should have done, really.
00:02:11I'd broken my leg.
00:02:12Don't go on about it.
00:02:13It's all we ever hear.
00:02:16Doesn't matter, because the Kia hatchback that Hammond should have been driving, but wasn't, turns out to be not quite
00:02:22as boring as you might expect.
00:02:24As I shall now explain.
00:02:28To do my explaining, I've come here, to the sunny Balearic Island of New Yorker, where we find this.
00:02:40Kia's first attempt to make a saloon car that's sporty rather than sensible.
00:02:48It even has a cool name.
00:02:51It's called the Stinger.
00:02:56Check this out.
00:02:57This is the little keyless fob that locks and unlocks it, and you could see that as the button that
00:03:03launches a missile.
00:03:07To the Stinger.
00:03:11Besides a key from Fighter Command, the Stinger has other things designed to give you the fizz.
00:03:18Power, for example.
00:03:20This has a 3.3-litre twin-turbo V6, developing 365 horsepower.
00:03:26Now, that's not vindaloo hot, like a BMW M3.
00:03:30It's more madras hot, I think.
00:03:32Say, an Audi S4.
00:03:37And if you're watching in America, I'm using here the Car Curry Performance Index.
00:03:42Very popular in Britain.
00:03:46If you prefer numbers, it does 0-60 in around five seconds.
00:03:52And it has a top speed just short of 170 miles an hour.
00:03:57So, again, that's not as fast as a BMW M3, but it's probably fast enough to outrun one of Kim
00:04:05Yong-un's wonky northern missiles.
00:04:13And there's more sporty stuff.
00:04:16I have an eight-speed semi-automatic gearbox which I can control with paddles, and that most important of sports
00:04:25saloon requirements, rear-wheel drive.
00:04:29It's also groaning with equipment.
00:04:33I'll run you through just a few of the things.
00:04:35I've got a 15-speaker stereo.
00:04:37I've got a head-up display, adaptive cruise control, collision warning system, driver drowsiness warning system.
00:04:45Very useful when I'm on board.
00:04:48All of this in a car costing around £40,000, which makes it £5,000 less than the equivalent Jag
00:04:56or Audi.
00:05:00But never mind the not unreasonable price, the Stinger's main purpose is to show that Kia can make a sporty
00:05:07saloon.
00:05:07So, to find out if they've succeeded, we need to do something sporty.
00:05:16Which brings me here, to this road.
00:05:20A challenging five-kilometre scribble of tarmac, spearing and snaking up through the Mallorcan hills.
00:05:29What I intend to do is start down there and drive as fast as possible to a finishing point here
00:05:36on this bridge.
00:05:38And to spice it up a bit, I'm going to make it a race.
00:05:41It's me and the Stinger versus some young men on planks.
00:05:47Here's one of them.
00:05:48And here's the other one.
00:05:50They both dress like bike racers, but their preferred transport is specially modified skateboards.
00:05:57Which hardly sounds like much of a threat to the car.
00:06:04Okay, tell us about those, skateboards.
00:06:06What sort of bicycle speeds, 20, 30?
00:06:08The fastest we can go is 75 miles an hour, like 120k.
00:06:1275 miles an hour.
00:06:17On that?
00:06:19Do you mind if I...
00:06:20Yeah, knock yourself out. Not literally.
00:06:2375 miles an hour on a piece of wood with some plastic wheels on it.
00:06:27You're mad!
00:06:29Right, just so we're clear on the rules, I'm going to start down there at the start line
00:06:34and drive uphill all the way to here, which is the finish line,
00:06:37while you start here on what is my finishing line, but it's actually your start line,
00:06:41and you're downhill all the way.
00:06:42Basically, I've written the words the other way up, so if you see finish upside down,
00:06:45you're at the start, but start the right way up, you're at your start.
00:06:47And when I see start upside down, I'm at your finish, which is your start,
00:06:50but it's my finish because it says finish the right way up.
00:06:53There's going to be a point where we cross over, obviously, so we've got to be a bit careful.
00:06:56Let's just agree, stay right if we see each other.
00:06:59You're right or are right.
00:07:01Well, it's the same thing, because you're going the other way,
00:07:02because you're going downhill and I'm going uphill towards this finish.
00:07:05OK.
00:07:06No.
00:07:07Yeah, no, the left.
00:07:08No, just stay...
00:07:09Yeah.
00:07:13Soon, we were in position at our respective start slash finish lines.
00:07:20Right, set up.
00:07:22We're going to go for the sportiest mode, which is sport plus.
00:07:25Traction and stability control disabled.
00:07:28That's all the Nami's off.
00:07:29It is a hill climb.
00:07:30Don't bin it, May.
00:07:31Here we go.
00:07:34Horsepower versus gravity.
00:07:36Isaac Newton and dudes versus South Korea and me.
00:07:40Three.
00:07:41Two.
00:07:43One.
00:07:52Turn the foot in, yes!
00:07:59Toper response hit more tippy when you've got a lot sport plus.
00:08:07Yes!
00:08:08Little bit of sideways action.
00:08:09I've got a limited snip dip.
00:08:10That's going to look after me.
00:08:23Brake, turn it.
00:08:26There it is.
00:08:31All the blocks don't look nice.
00:08:42These guys have a bit of a less.
00:08:51Here they come.
00:08:53Keep driving.
00:08:55Jeez, those guns are going.
00:08:58And for them, the remaining course was full of fast strays.
00:09:04Whereas for me, the road was now becoming twistier.
00:09:15Stay out, stay out, stay out.
00:09:17Mind the rocks.
00:09:24Apex, see the exit first.
00:09:26That's lovely.
00:09:31Yes, there's the bridge.
00:09:40Here I come, here I come.
00:09:42Don't pin it now.
00:09:48Yes.
00:09:49Yes.
00:09:50Right.
00:09:51Let's have it.
00:09:53Get out, buddy.
00:09:54Get out, buddy.
00:09:59Okay, James.
00:10:00The boarders did it in 5 minutes and 16 seconds.
00:10:05You did it in 5 minutes and 10 seconds.
00:10:08Yes!
00:10:10Yes!
00:10:11Yes!
00:10:15Losers!
00:10:18Losers!
00:10:19Losers!
00:10:20Whatever.
00:10:21F*** that guy.
00:10:23F*** that guy.
00:10:30Yeah.
00:10:33Standard reaction to James, mate.
00:10:35James.
00:10:36James, I'm very curious.
00:10:38How did you manage to go to Majorca in all that beautiful sunshine and not catch pneumonia?
00:10:44I'm places that sold pneumonia.
00:10:47But I didn't go in because I had to get up the next day early and go to work.
00:10:51Let's move on because it is now time for us to peer down a manhole of chat on Conversation Street.
00:11:11And I think we should do more festive stuff now and turn on the lights on our motoring flavoured tree.
00:11:19Yes, and I'd like to go first, please, if I turn on the lights that I've made using the back
00:11:23lights from various cars.
00:11:24Look, that's Christmas, isn't it?
00:11:28I'd like to add my lights to the festive tree, which I've made out of indicators, so they're orange and
00:11:32they flash and they're warm.
00:11:33Are you ready?
00:11:34Aww, Christmas.
00:11:35How about that, then?
00:11:36That's very...
00:11:37Right!
00:11:38No!
00:11:38Why not?
00:11:39Do not switch on whatever you've made.
00:11:41Why?
00:11:42Because you'll blind everybody in the tent.
00:11:44Why do you always think I'll have overdone it?
00:11:46Because you always overdo it.
00:11:48Ready?
00:11:49Oh, dear God!
00:11:51Look at that!
00:11:52Why are you grimacing?
00:11:54It's so entourishing!
00:11:58What?
00:11:58It's brilliant!
00:12:00It's a bit bright, I've met, but...
00:12:02It is bright, you've burned people's eyes out!
00:12:04Why is it a cross?
00:12:06It's the baby Jesus!
00:12:08It's the baby Jesus, not the dead Jesus.
00:12:12What?
00:12:13The cross is what he was crucified on, that's Easter.
00:12:16Ooh!
00:12:18So, what should it be at Christmas?
00:12:20A star.
00:12:22That's Jewish.
00:12:23No...
00:12:24It is!
00:12:25Jews don't do Christmas!
00:12:26It's a different sort of star.
00:12:28You've used the wrong religious symbol.
00:12:31What that is, is a big spoiler alert.
00:12:33Yes!
00:12:36It is!
00:12:37I've given away the ending.
00:12:38Yeah.
00:12:39If you don't want to know what happens to the baby Jesus later on,
00:12:41look away now.
00:12:44Last year, we looked at all the various motoring-related Christmas presents that you could buy,
00:12:48and they were all terrible.
00:12:49They are.
00:12:49In fact, they always are terrible.
00:12:50Actually, the most terrible of them all I've got in here, it's scale-ectric.
00:12:53Oh, come on.
00:12:54What do you mean, oh, come on?
00:12:56Well, I like scale-ectric.
00:12:57Are you wrong?
00:12:58No, you are wrong.
00:12:58How can I be wrong about what I like?
00:12:59You don't like it.
00:13:00No, you think you like it.
00:13:01I do.
00:13:02It's like classical music.
00:13:04People think they like classical music, but they don't.
00:13:06Nobody does, really.
00:13:07I do.
00:13:08Anyway, back to scale-ectric, which nobody likes.
00:13:11Professor of Sweeping Statements.
00:13:15Let me explain the problem.
00:13:16This is how scale-ectric works.
00:13:17You take out the car.
00:13:18Wow, you think, look at that, it's like a Dodge Viper.
00:13:21And then, throw it under some film.
00:13:23And you have just played scale-ectric.
00:13:25Because that's what happens immediately with scale-ectric.
00:13:28You get your little sister to go and pick it up.
00:13:30Scale-ectric should come with a little sister, mind it.
00:13:33No, no.
00:13:34No, it shouldn't come with a little sister.
00:13:37That's it.
00:13:39Did you just say that out loud?
00:13:41Yeah, he didn't.
00:13:42I was hoping to just carry on.
00:13:43My little sister's 12 years younger.
00:13:45The year I got my scale-ectric set, I also got a little sister.
00:13:49Don't disillusion him of it.
00:13:51He thinks that's where they come from.
00:13:54He came from Hornby Hobbies.
00:13:56No, it shouldn't be right at all.
00:13:58Two things are going to happen.
00:13:59Either you go too fast, in which case the car goes under furniture.
00:14:03Yes.
00:14:03Or you get the speed right and it just goes round and round and round and round.
00:14:08Forever!
00:14:09Yes, you find the speed at which the cars don't come off and then you just watch them.
00:14:12What you're doing at that point is watching electricity happen.
00:14:16Yes.
00:14:17Well, I can see why you were disappointed in it, haven't you?
00:14:19Put an electric car on a racetrack and the next thing you know you've crashed.
00:14:31That wasn't even in the back, that was in the face.
00:14:35I have got some Bentley...
00:14:40Espresso cups and saucers!
00:14:43What do you think of that?
00:14:44Oh, I quite like those.
00:14:45They're horrible.
00:14:46They're horrible.
00:14:47They're too thick.
00:14:48Have they not?
00:14:50Because espresso cups have to be thick.
00:14:52They have to weigh 147.8 grams.
00:14:55Says who?
00:14:56Italian coffee scientists.
00:14:59That is pretentious twaddle.
00:15:00It is.
00:15:01It is.
00:15:01Just try it in a restaurant.
00:15:03Call the waiter over.
00:15:04Come here, my man.
00:15:05I think you know what I'm going to tell you about this cup.
00:15:09It's too heavy.
00:15:10It isn't too heavy.
00:15:11That's the point.
00:15:12It is too heavy.
00:15:13It's too thick.
00:15:13Look at that.
00:15:14You could hit that with a hammer and it would survive.
00:15:16What, and that's a bad thing?
00:15:17Oh, don't hit it with a hammer.
00:15:21I was wrong.
00:15:24I was actually going to take those home.
00:15:26No, you can.
00:15:27You can, actually.
00:15:28There you go.
00:15:28There's your set of three Bentley espresso cups and saucers.
00:15:32And you get a spare saucer in case you break them.
00:15:35Nice.
00:15:36Spare.
00:15:36It's a good present, that.
00:15:38I have actually got you a present, Hammond.
00:15:39Eh?
00:15:40Yeah, it's in a presentation box.
00:15:41Here it is.
00:15:42The box is broken and I apologise for that.
00:15:44But there it is.
00:15:46Check it out.
00:15:46It's a ruined watch.
00:15:49Not just any ruined watch.
00:15:50It's your ruined watch.
00:15:52Is it?
00:15:52Yeah.
00:15:52That has been retrieved from the wreckage of the car that you destroyed
00:15:55with your incompetence.
00:15:56And that survived the fight.
00:15:58It's actually still working.
00:15:59It doesn't look pretty, I admit, but it's still working.
00:16:01Well, that's actually quite a nice present in a way, isn't it?
00:16:04Exactly.
00:16:05And they've written a little thing on the box.
00:16:07Made in Switzerland and then carefully perfected on the 10th of June 2017 by the British.
00:16:16They don't, they don't mean perfected, do they?
00:16:18No, and they don't mean British, they mean you.
00:16:21That's quite a mean present after all.
00:16:23Well look, Hammond, I've got you something.
00:16:25I have got you a pair of running shoes and I've added to them the logo of your favourite local
00:16:31car maker.
00:16:31And you can't say you don't like that.
00:16:33You love running.
00:16:34You go running every morning.
00:16:35I've seen you go running in the evening as well.
00:16:37I cannot wear those.
00:16:42Why not?
00:16:44Because I'm not allowed to run anymore.
00:16:46I broke my leg.
00:16:47What's going on about it?
00:16:50I broke my leg.
00:16:51I broke my leg.
00:16:52I broke my leg.
00:16:53I broke my leg.
00:16:53I broke my leg.
00:16:53I've got you both presents.
00:16:55Two of them.
00:16:57I've got you another present here.
00:17:00Look at that.
00:17:01An alarm clock.
00:17:02It's beautifully styled.
00:17:04Right, I'm going to set it.
00:17:04No, it's all funny.
00:17:05It's crashed, I see.
00:17:06It's crashed upside down car on top.
00:17:07That's why it's yours.
00:17:08Right, I'm just setting it now.
00:17:09There you go.
00:17:10Now, pretend to be asleep.
00:17:11What?
00:17:12What?
00:17:12Just pretend to be asleep.
00:17:14This is on your bedside table.
00:17:15I'm asleep.
00:17:20There it is.
00:17:22What's going on?
00:17:26Oh my God!
00:17:27Yes!
00:17:29Come on!
00:17:31Come on, Ed.
00:17:32That'll...
00:17:35That'll just set fire.
00:17:37You've got my glasses.
00:17:38That'll just set fire to everything on my bedside.
00:17:40Oh God!
00:17:43It's not me that's on fire this time!
00:17:46Don't even lift.
00:17:47I've got my glasses.
00:17:48I can't wake up to that every morning.
00:17:50When you're driving along and your car catches fire,
00:17:52which it will, because you'll have crashed it,
00:17:54you'll be used to it,
00:17:56because you'll have to put a fire out every single morning.
00:17:58Yes, I won't have slept for a year
00:17:59waiting for an explosion next to my bed.
00:18:01Stop going on this morning about all the presents you've given me!
00:18:04It's traumatising!
00:18:05Look, I have bought you a pair of trousers.
00:18:09What?
00:18:09There you go.
00:18:10Oh, thank you, James.
00:18:11Very nice.
00:18:12Yes, they're done.
00:18:12Not just any old trousers?
00:18:14No, they've got...
00:18:14They've got all Velcro on them.
00:18:16What's that about?
00:18:17Well, it means paramedics won't have to cut your clothes off.
00:18:19LAUGHTER
00:18:20And you'll save a 14 over the coming year, you see.
00:18:25APPLAUSE
00:18:35Have you got us anything?
00:18:36No.
00:18:38Not a thing?
00:18:39Well, I didn't know we were doing this.
00:18:41What do you mean you didn't...
00:18:42You didn't know it was Christmas.
00:18:43It's in your diary, Hammond.
00:18:45It's in everybody's diary.
00:18:46It's not like Easter, we don't move around,
00:18:47it's the same day every year.
00:18:49Every single year.
00:18:49Look, you could have sent a memo saying
00:18:51we're doing presents in the tent.
00:18:52Unbelievable.
00:18:54Anyway, Jeremy Clarkson,
00:18:56not everybody is as thoughtless as Richard Hammond.
00:18:59I'm certainly not, and I have bought you a present.
00:19:02Oh, thank you, James, what is it?
00:19:04It's the season of goodwill to all men.
00:19:06Even if you hate them.
00:19:08LAUGHTER
00:19:13I have got you, for Christmas,
00:19:16a T-shirt.
00:19:17Are they my lungs?
00:19:19Yes, they are.
00:19:21LAUGHTER
00:19:22That was my...
00:19:23It is!
00:19:23No, this was...
00:19:24There was a lot of work went into this,
00:19:25cos I had to ring up the hospital in Majorca
00:19:28and I asked the barman, sorry, the doctor,
00:19:33if I could have a copy of the scan of your lungs
00:19:35and you let me have it.
00:19:36And I printed on the T-shirt
00:19:37and this bit, this is the...
00:19:39That was the pneumonia.
00:19:40Yeah, that's the bit where your lungs were infected.
00:19:42Yes.
00:19:42I've coloured that in pink, you know,
00:19:44to show your favourite type of pneumonia.
00:19:48Is that...
00:19:48Are they bubbles?
00:19:50Yes.
00:19:51James, I don't drink Prosecco, I'm not a girl.
00:19:53Oh, no.
00:19:54No, of course, you're the Viking, Jeremy Klutz,
00:19:56with his still pink wine.
00:19:58All...
00:19:59That you drink out of a hollow whore.
00:20:00All real men...
00:20:01LAUGHTER
00:20:02...drink Rose.
00:20:03LAUGHTER
00:20:04Thank you, James,
00:20:05that is a thoughtful gift
00:20:06and I shall treasure it.
00:20:07No, it's OK, Jeremy.
00:20:09LAUGHTER
00:20:09There is as much pleasure in giving
00:20:11as there is in receiving.
00:20:13I suspect more of it.
00:20:14LAUGHTER
00:20:14Leave it!
00:20:16Leave it!
00:20:17LAUGHTER
00:20:18Leave that right where it is.
00:20:20APPLAUSE
00:20:23I've got you a properly brilliant present.
00:20:26I can't wait.
00:20:27No, seriously.
00:20:28Because you know the problem
00:20:28of trying to open a fridge door.
00:20:30No, that's not a problem.
00:20:31It is.
00:20:31No, it is.
00:20:32No, you pull the thing
00:20:33and then with my fridge
00:20:34the seal is stronger
00:20:36than the weight of the fridge.
00:20:37So you just end up pulling the fridge
00:20:38across the kitchen floor.
00:20:39No, that's because you're an ape.
00:20:41The only way of opening my fridge
00:20:43is to surprise it.
00:20:44Surprise your fridge.
00:20:44You walk up to it backwards like that
00:20:46and then snatch it like that.
00:20:47Surprise your fridge.
00:20:48Because then you have to yank it
00:20:49really quickly.
00:20:49But I'm not joking.
00:20:50The other day I did that
00:20:51and the fridge fell on top,
00:20:52actually the whole thing on top of it.
00:20:54Are you sure your fridge
00:20:55doesn't have a push door?
00:20:57LAUGHTER
00:20:58Anyway, right,
00:20:59I've got you, James May,
00:21:01it's a big present this one.
00:21:02Right, you ready?
00:21:03I've got you a fridge
00:21:04with a motoring flavour, look.
00:21:06Because I put a steering wheel
00:21:07on the door.
00:21:09So...
00:21:10OK, it's now shut.
00:21:12Yes?
00:21:12Thank you very much.
00:21:14LAUGHTER
00:21:14That, OK.
00:21:15So look, it won't open.
00:21:17Yes?
00:21:17Right.
00:21:18But then if you turn this,
00:21:19it's modelled on a submarine door
00:21:20because it's important with a submarine,
00:21:22you know when the door's open or shut.
00:21:23All the way over and then it opens.
00:21:25Can you see?
00:21:26Yeah, I can see.
00:21:27How brilliant is that?
00:21:29You've bought me a solution to a problem
00:21:30that only you have.
00:21:32LAUGHTER
00:21:33That is the worst Christmas present I've ever had.
00:21:35It isn't.
00:21:35How can it be?
00:21:36Why is it?
00:21:37Because you bought something for yourself.
00:21:38No, you did that last year.
00:21:39No, you bought your girlfriend a Ferrari
00:21:41that only you were insured to drive.
00:21:43LAUGHTER
00:21:44You did.
00:21:44You know, I bought you this,
00:21:45and I...
00:21:46No-one else could drive it.
00:21:48That's chivalry.
00:21:49Is it?
00:21:50Well, I think that's just been a total disaster,
00:21:52Conversation Street.
00:21:53It was awful.
00:21:54He bought us nothing.
00:21:55Yeah, you bought...
00:21:56Sorry!
00:21:57Shut up.
00:21:58I bought you...
00:21:59Made you presents you don't like.
00:22:00No.
00:22:01All right, let's move on.
00:22:02Now, have you ever wondered if office lunchtime
00:22:06could be more interesting?
00:22:07No, nobody's wondered that.
00:22:09Well, we have.
00:22:10Which is why...
00:22:12James and I decided to take the grand tour
00:22:15to Dunstable.
00:22:20This is what we're on about.
00:22:22People in offices all over the world
00:22:24just frittering away their valuable lunch hours,
00:22:28doing pointless things on their phones
00:22:29and eating plastic food.
00:22:32But not anymore,
00:22:34because we're here to literally save lunchtimes
00:22:37through the crucible of motorsport.
00:22:39And you may be watching this and thinking,
00:22:41well, that's a great idea,
00:22:42but how are you gonna get all these people
00:22:44to a racetrack during their lunch hour?
00:22:47Well, the answer is,
00:22:47we don't need to.
00:22:49The racetrack is already here.
00:22:53Yes, go to any business park anywhere
00:22:55and you'll find long straights,
00:22:58flowing roundabouts,
00:22:59sharp bends,
00:23:00the lot.
00:23:01There's a circuit to rival Silverstone
00:23:03or Laguna Seca
00:23:04right outside your office window.
00:23:08Today, we've chosen Horton Hall Business Park
00:23:11near Dunstable.
00:23:12So, let's see what kind of track it can provide.
00:23:17This is the Kia Picanto GT Line,
00:23:20the hardest ship in the Picanto range.
00:23:2280 horsepower from 1.25 meters.
00:23:24Just get in the bloody thing.
00:23:25I'm having to say a lot,
00:23:26because it takes him quite a long time to get in.
00:23:28Shut up!
00:23:30Right, so what are we doing?
00:23:31We're going down the straight here towards the first roundabout,
00:23:35which is Fraughton's haulage.
00:23:36I like the brake distance markers.
00:23:38That's a nice touch.
00:23:39Very professional.
00:23:40This is the Wick Red,
00:23:41extremely tight left-hander and into car park A.
00:23:45Now, there's a speed hump,
00:23:47and then the soon-to-be immortalized Smoker's Shelter Complex.
00:23:51Nice.
00:23:51Which is what we're in now.
00:23:52Dab of brakes,
00:23:54apex it there,
00:23:55and we're into car park B.
00:23:57This is office chair Ben,
00:23:59this is the chicane.
00:24:00Very nice.
00:24:01Before we go back onto the beginning and ending straight,
00:24:04and head towards Mannington Plastics roundabout,
00:24:07leaders in injection logging technology solutions.
00:24:09Excellent.
00:24:09Quite the landmark.
00:24:10Keep it wide,
00:24:11half-throttle,
00:24:12look for the exit,
00:24:13and there we are,
00:24:15across the line.
00:24:17Once you're across the line,
00:24:18you can slow down.
00:24:19No point in continuing to go fast,
00:24:21because you could have an accident doing that.
00:24:22I mean...
00:24:25With the track signed off,
00:24:27we selected two firms to go head-to-head
00:24:30during their lunches.
00:24:32Today, the competitors are
00:24:34Storage King,
00:24:36self-storage made simple,
00:24:38and Cura Technical,
00:24:40leading providers of IT support solutions.
00:24:42And once their contenders had been selected,
00:24:46it was time for the driver briefing.
00:24:50Each entrant from each firm does one time lap.
00:24:53Using those lap times,
00:24:55we'll whittle down our entrants
00:24:56until we have the best driver
00:24:57from each of the two firms.
00:24:59Hammond,
00:25:00everybody in the room can read.
00:25:01Shut up.
00:25:02They'll then go head-to-head in the grand final
00:25:04to decide the ultimate winner of today's round.
00:25:10With Hammond's presentation over,
00:25:12it was time to begin the qualifying laps
00:25:15that would decide which employees
00:25:16would represent their firms
00:25:18in the shootout grand finale.
00:25:20What we have first
00:25:21is we have Pete from Cura Technical.
00:25:23He is the regional manager for Bedfordshire
00:25:25and the Midlands
00:25:26in his Vauxhall SRI Astra.
00:25:29In three, two, one, go!
00:25:33As the regional manager scorched away,
00:25:37I commandeered the security hut
00:25:39so that I could use its CCTV feed
00:25:41to commentate on the action.
00:25:43There's a complex of turns to here, really,
00:25:46more than just one,
00:25:46and that speed hump to deal with as well.
00:25:48He's done that.
00:25:49He is three.
00:25:52He's on his way to the office chair complex.
00:25:55I can't see him on that security camera.
00:25:58Here he is.
00:25:59He's coming his way back up the street.
00:26:00200 brake horse by a useful man.
00:26:02He's gonna make his way to World Sport knowledge,
00:26:05which is soon to become the ending line.
00:26:08Huge amount of noise and across the line.
00:26:12After a cracking qualifying performance
00:26:14from Pete of Cura Technical.
00:26:16One minute.
00:26:17Yes, 6.16.
00:26:20Storage King sent out their first driver,
00:26:23Hot Hatch enthusiast Darren from Logistics.
00:26:25Two.
00:26:27One.
00:26:27Go!
00:26:29Do you like a Cleo?
00:26:33Some sideways action.
00:26:36Oh, lovely work.
00:26:39By wagging his Cleo for all it was worth.
00:26:43Storage King's Darren banged in a scorcher of a qualifier.
00:26:47Woo!
00:26:50One minute.
00:26:51Yes.
00:26:515.97.
00:26:53And now, ladies and gentlemen, from Cura Technical,
00:26:57it's Nick from a cat who will be looking to balance the books.
00:27:01Oh, God.
00:27:02He's making puns.
00:27:03In three, two, one, and he's on!
00:27:07Despite being at the wheel of a motorway cruiser,
00:27:10Nick seemed determined to top the timing chart.
00:27:14Ooh, this looks fast to me, towards Smoker's Corner.
00:27:18However...
00:27:18And he's...
00:27:19Yeah, that's looking, that's looking.
00:27:21No, that's not under control because he's binned it!
00:27:24Oh.
00:27:24He's binned it.
00:27:26He's binned it at bin corner, appropriately enough.
00:27:29It is a DNF for Nick from a cat.
00:27:32The fleet manager is not going to be pleased.
00:27:34There are going to be words when he gets back after lunch, I suspect.
00:27:41With the lunch hour clock ticking away,
00:27:43they've followed a final flurry of qualifying words.
00:27:48Three, two, one, go!
00:27:51Oh, it's a busy start for the little hour bar.
00:27:55This is a tight little car for a small circuit.
00:27:59It's built for business park racing.
00:28:00Look at that!
00:28:01It's Chris from marketing in the Toyota GT86.
00:28:10One, oh, three, twenty-four.
00:28:15And then, with the results in,
00:28:17it was time for the grand finale showdown shootout.
00:28:20Now, representing Storage King in the Seat Leon Cupra R,
00:28:26from purchasing, it's Gav!
00:28:31And representing Cura Technical in the BMW E90 M3,
00:28:36from sales, give it up for Steve!
00:28:40And since we are dealing with the best that South Bedfordshire has to offer,
00:28:45the creme de mante of business park driving talent,
00:28:48this final will be decided with a straight head-to-head race.
00:28:53OK.
00:28:55Here we go.
00:28:56Ready? Ready?
00:28:58In three, two, one, go!
00:29:04And there they go.
00:29:05Steve against Gav, sales against purchasing,
00:29:08buckling down the main street.
00:29:11Thornton comes up first.
00:29:12They're both through.
00:29:13They're both already in car park A, heading to Smoker's Corner.
00:29:19Oh, he's gone very wide there.
00:29:23And the Seat is through.
00:29:25The Seat is in front, but not by much.
00:29:29Oh, my dear, watch, this is tight.
00:29:31I would hate to have been having a fag in that booth when they came past.
00:29:36Can't find B coming off of B.
00:29:38Look at this, tailing one another through there.
00:29:45I don't know how these two companies get on. Is there rivalry there?
00:29:48Are they getting rid of something out of their system?
00:29:52Already coming back up, they've gone through for the second time.
00:29:56These guys do mean business.
00:29:58Half a car's length in it.
00:29:59Look at the speed they're carrying.
00:30:04Oh, close!
00:30:08Both of them now, up to mountains, plastics, and it's tight.
00:30:11It's really tight in there.
00:30:18And across the line, we have the BMWs, it's a flag!
00:30:22Yeah!
00:30:27How was that?
00:30:36Well, there we are. That's that all sorted out.
00:30:41And now it's time to sort something else out as well
00:30:44as we play Celebrity Face-Off!
00:31:01Once again, once again, it is an international event.
00:31:06Britain versus America.
00:31:09And the question is, and it's a big one,
00:31:11who is the fastest person in the world who lives with a bear?
00:31:15To find out, please welcome Casey Anderson and Hugh Bolliwell!
00:31:25Thank you very much for coming.
00:31:39First of all, I know you live with a bear, obviously.
00:31:41But it's like not a real bear.
00:31:43Well, Paddington's like a CGI bear.
00:31:46You may say that.
00:31:48And, Daisy, you do live with an actual bear?
00:31:52That's right, yeah, a big bear.
00:31:54Like 800 pounds.
00:31:55800 pounds?
00:31:56Yeah, 800 or 900 pounds, depending on what he had for dinner.
00:32:01Thing is, you rescued this bear when it was little in Montana.
00:32:04Yeah, he's literally that big when I rescued him.
00:32:06I was only a couple of months old.
00:32:08And now he's 15 years old, stands about eight feet tall.
00:32:10But did you know that was going to happen?
00:32:12Or were you, like, surprised?
00:32:14And just trying to get the size of it?
00:32:16Well, you had this cute little bear for a little while,
00:32:18and then all of a sudden now he's, you know, ripping the couch up
00:32:20and eating the cushions and trying to get in the refrigerator
00:32:22and getting into the beer.
00:32:23You say he drinks beer?
00:32:25Bears love beer.
00:32:26And who would have thought?
00:32:27I mean, I remember one time just cracking that open,
00:32:29and they have an incredible sense of smell.
00:32:31Have we got a picture of him drinking beer?
00:32:36That's not Stella, I hope,
00:32:37because you don't want a bear on Stella.
00:32:41Wife beater, as we call it over here.
00:32:43And he doesn't live in a cage?
00:32:45No.
00:32:45No, he actually, you know, he lives in the sanctuary part of the time,
00:32:48he's at the house part of the time, depending on what...
00:32:50You know, he loves to be around people.
00:32:52That's all he knows.
00:32:53He can't be out in the wild.
00:32:54I get that.
00:32:54But you had him as your best man?
00:32:57He was the best man at one of...
00:32:59Yeah, he was.
00:33:00We actually have a photograph of the wedding here.
00:33:04That's the sloppiest kiss I had that night.
00:33:08And then he came for Thanksgiving dinners.
00:33:10I think we got a picture as well of that.
00:33:12Look.
00:33:13That is a big bear.
00:33:15Huge.
00:33:17Does he like turkey?
00:33:18He does turkey.
00:33:19He ate the whole thing.
00:33:20Mashed potatoes, everything.
00:33:22Can I just ask...
00:33:23Because you have a sanctuary, a bear sanctuary...
00:33:25Correct.
00:33:25...and has dynamic, like, compared to, you know,
00:33:28his dynamic with you and the other bears.
00:33:29I mean, does he go, hey, look at me.
00:33:30I get on with humans and you don't.
00:33:32A little bit that way.
00:33:33Yeah, I mean, he's the only one who gets to come home
00:33:35and do things that the other bears can't really do.
00:33:37But he has a...
00:33:38It's like a soap opera.
00:33:39You know, he has different relationships with different bears.
00:33:41He's got a girlfriend named Bella,
00:33:42who's younger than him,
00:33:43and they wrestle around all the time.
00:33:46So that's your bear, okay.
00:33:48Now, yours is rather different.
00:33:50Yes, definitely.
00:33:52Although yours is probably more mischievous, Paddington is.
00:33:55Yes, he gets stuck in the fridge, in the...
00:33:59Impossible to get stuck in the fridge.
00:34:00I mean, have you come across Paddington Bear in America?
00:34:02Yeah, definitely.
00:34:03Because it's very much,
00:34:03has been a British character for decades, really.
00:34:07But he gets up to all sorts of mischief
00:34:09and his favourite thing is marmalade.
00:34:12And so, apart from getting stuck in the fridge,
00:34:15this time round, in the second film,
00:34:17he tries to become a barber,
00:34:19he tries to be a window cleaner.
00:34:20None of these things that go particularly well.
00:34:22We do have a clip.
00:34:23I'd like to show that for you now, if you may.
00:34:25I'm sorry, this is a private conversation.
00:34:27Oh, it's all right, Mr Brown.
00:34:28This is my friend, Knuckles.
00:34:30Here we are.
00:34:30And this is Phibs.
00:34:31G'day.
00:34:32Spoon.
00:34:32Hello.
00:34:32Jimmy the Snitch.
00:34:33All right.
00:34:33T-Bone.
00:34:34Watch out.
00:34:35The Professor.
00:34:35Oh.
00:34:35Squeaky Pete.
00:34:36Oh.
00:34:36Double Bass Bob.
00:34:37Farmer Jack.
00:34:38Okay.
00:34:38Mad Dog.
00:34:39Johnny Cashpoint.
00:34:40Ka-ching.
00:34:40Sir Geoffrey Wilcott.
00:34:41I hope I can rely on your vote.
00:34:43And Charlie Rumble.
00:34:45Oh.
00:34:46It's so wonderful to meet you all.
00:34:48You must say, it's a great relief to know
00:34:50that Paddington's already made such sweet friends.
00:34:53Would you excuse us a moment?
00:34:57What are you doing?
00:34:58Talking to the nice men.
00:35:00Nice men?
00:35:01Mary, we can't trust these people.
00:35:03I mean, look at them.
00:35:05Talk about a rogue's gallery.
00:35:07Hideous.
00:35:08And as for that bearded baboon in the middle,
00:35:09he's hardly got two brain cells to rub together.
00:35:11We can still hear you, Mr Brown.
00:35:15Oh, yeah.
00:35:16That was the light you turned off.
00:35:20It does look good.
00:35:24I should just set up, or sort of back set up,
00:35:27a backward clip, which is that Paddington gets put into prison
00:35:31for a crime.
00:35:31We don't think he committed.
00:35:33I'm sure he didn't commit it.
00:35:35Somebody was pointing out to me the other day,
00:35:36if Paddington really did arrive,
00:35:38well, I don't get that bogged down in immigration,
00:35:39but he would be in contravention of Section 24
00:35:41of the Immigration Act.
00:35:43Because he's deliberately avoided the immigration authorities.
00:35:46And you, as Mr Brown,
00:35:49you would potentially face prosecution under Section 25
00:35:52for assisting unlawful immigration to a member state.
00:35:5514 years in prison, that would gauge.
00:35:57Right, and there's the plot of Paddington 3 for you.
00:36:01Anyway, we must get on to cars,
00:36:03because this is largely a car show.
00:36:07Now, Casey, the thing about Montana is,
00:36:09you could pretty much do anything you liked on the road there,
00:36:11couldn't you, until quite recently.
00:36:12Yeah, not too long ago,
00:36:14you could drive 100 miles an hour down the road,
00:36:16drinking a beer and have a loaded shotgun in your lap
00:36:18and you weren't breaking the law.
00:36:21What went wrong?
00:36:21Oh, yeah, I know.
00:36:22Now you can only drive 85.
00:36:25Because the rule is basically don't crash,
00:36:27just keep it between the fences, I think.
00:36:29Yeah, between the fences, between the ditches.
00:36:31Yeah, between the ditches.
00:36:31As long as you don't go off the road,
00:36:32or maybe a little bit, you're cool.
00:36:35It's largely gravel roads as well.
00:36:37Gravel roads are icy roads,
00:36:39and I grew up with Land Cruisers,
00:36:41Willy's Jeeps,
00:36:42big pickup trucks,
00:36:43I mean, all Brutus around have a big Dodge 3500.
00:36:45Can he drive a car?
00:36:48No, but he likes to tear them apart.
00:36:50There's been several times,
00:36:51we're driving down the road to go to the vet,
00:36:52and you know, he's like,
00:36:53what's this knob and what's this little lever?
00:36:55And so the windshield wipers are going,
00:36:56the radio's blaring,
00:36:57and I'm screaming,
00:36:58get back Brutus, get back Brutus,
00:37:00you know, driving down the road,
00:37:00and you imagine...
00:37:01He's tearing your face off.
00:37:03You imagine the drivers driving by Sam.
00:37:07Now, you're not particularly,
00:37:09I don't think, a helmsman.
00:37:10No, I'm not, I'm not a petrol head of any,
00:37:13you know, of any type.
00:37:15I sort of, cars for me get me from A to B,
00:37:17I'm afraid.
00:37:17In recent months,
00:37:18I had a proper full-blown midlife crisis,
00:37:21and I decided to buy a convertible.
00:37:24My wife said,
00:37:25don't be ridiculous,
00:37:25it is only sunny in England about two days a year,
00:37:28don't be...
00:37:28Well, exactly, yeah.
00:37:29Don't be so stupid.
00:37:30So I went and bought a convertible,
00:37:32and then I thought,
00:37:33actually what I really want is an electric car.
00:37:35So I said to my wife at the end of the summer,
00:37:39I'm going to get rid of the convertible,
00:37:40I'm going to get an electric car.
00:37:41She said,
00:37:42don't be ridiculous,
00:37:42we've had a great summer in that car,
00:37:44I love the convertible,
00:37:44you're not getting rid of it.
00:37:46So, but meanwhile,
00:37:47I'd already placed an order for a second-hand Tesla.
00:37:50So I'm now a Tesla owner,
00:37:52and I love it, Jeremy!
00:37:55Which is yours, the S?
00:37:56It's the S, yes.
00:37:57And my friend down the road has got the top of the range,
00:38:00and we actually have a Tesla coffee group.
00:38:03Oh, Christ.
00:38:06There are three...
00:38:07How evangelical...
00:38:08There are four of us actually now,
00:38:10and other mates just got one,
00:38:12so in about a five-mile radius,
00:38:13and we literally go and stare at each other's cars.
00:38:16I've never had an interest in cars at all,
00:38:19and I love my Tesla.
00:38:23I can't imagine the electric car has caught on much in Montana.
00:38:26I'm actually part of a Tesla coffee group, too.
00:38:28Oh, Christ.
00:38:30Look at this.
00:38:32Right, now, obviously, you came here to do your laps.
00:38:35How did it go?
00:38:36I wasn't...
00:38:37Look, I'm not a driver,
00:38:38and, you know,
00:38:39I would say that I'm probably about a minute slower than him.
00:38:42That's my prediction.
00:38:43A minute would be something quite spectacular.
00:38:46I'm like an old granny.
00:38:48Well, that's because you're from Downton.
00:38:50The car's barely been invented.
00:38:51That's what it is.
00:38:52Now, the gravel must have been set in nature for you round here.
00:38:54Oh, when I heard that there was gravel and I saw it,
00:38:56I'm like, oh, I might have a chance here.
00:38:58And you were on the plane.
00:38:59That was my edge.
00:39:00Well, now, whose lap shall we see first?
00:39:03Mmm...
00:39:04We'll go with you, first of all.
00:39:06Who'd like to see Hugh's lap?
00:39:08Yes!
00:39:09Here it is.
00:39:09Let's have a look.
00:39:13That it is.
00:39:14Two-litre engine crackling away.
00:39:16What do you mean you need the toilet?
00:39:18So he can put him to win you in the car,
00:39:20and is that a crash helmet he's got?
00:39:22Yeah, oh yes, he's got a crash helmet.
00:39:23Brilliant.
00:39:25Be frightened to death.
00:39:26Actually, that's not too bad.
00:39:27And on to the difficult bit.
00:39:28Oh, here we go.
00:39:29Yeah, there we are.
00:39:30We're gonna get some sideways action.
00:39:33Oh, yes, we are.
00:39:36Nearly stopped.
00:39:40That's me in reverse.
00:39:42I think what they're doing is playing the film in slow motion.
00:39:45Yeah, yeah.
00:39:45Let's be kind.
00:39:46They did say you were very slow,
00:39:48but I know that's not...
00:39:50That's not very slow.
00:39:51Hang on, let's have a look through here.
00:39:52Tail out again.
00:39:53That's good.
00:39:55Coming back onto the...
00:39:56Oh, no, you've got a bit of a tank slapper.
00:39:58And back on the tarmac where it's very slippery,
00:40:00but you've held that nicely through there.
00:40:02Right, now for the tricky bit.
00:40:04Oh, this bit.
00:40:05It's okay, you're making it look tricky.
00:40:07And there we are onto the straight.
00:40:09Here we go round the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush.
00:40:13Keeping Paddington happy.
00:40:14There, wee flat through there.
00:40:15Yeah.
00:40:16Yeah.
00:40:18That was leaning on you.
00:40:19You're actually good on the tarmac.
00:40:21Final corner and tail out again.
00:40:24Nicely done.
00:40:24Across the line.
00:40:25There we are, everybody.
00:40:27Good again.
00:40:28That's super bad.
00:40:30Honestly.
00:40:32A couple of slow bits.
00:40:33Right.
00:40:33Not bad.
00:40:36Good.
00:40:36You'd like to see Casey's lap.
00:40:38Yeah.
00:40:38Done without a barrel in his car.
00:40:39Here we go.
00:40:40Let's have a look.
00:40:43Vigorous.
00:40:44Little two litre engine.
00:40:45I think this thing has got some power.
00:40:48Yeah, but it is only two litre.
00:40:50I'm amazed that was big enough for you.
00:40:51With your big pickups.
00:40:53Nicely tidily done through there.
00:40:56Very tidy indeed.
00:40:57Keeping it smooth.
00:40:58And onto the ground.
00:41:01Now this is where he's at home.
00:41:02Except for the beer.
00:41:04And the shotgun.
00:41:07Oh, nicely held through there.
00:41:08Flicking it back the other way.
00:41:11Big smile.
00:41:12It is funny how a fully grown man can be made to smile.
00:41:15By sliding a car on gravel.
00:41:18That does look good in the afternoon sun there.
00:41:20As the F-Type comes up now.
00:41:22Back towards the tarmac.
00:41:24No tank slapper going on there.
00:41:25This is always tricky.
00:41:29That, you are the master of understeer.
00:41:32Yep, that looks good.
00:41:34Bit of dust.
00:41:34Nearly stopped.
00:41:35But we are going again.
00:41:37This is my nemesis coming up right here.
00:41:39Yep.
00:41:40Understeer again.
00:41:41No.
00:41:42That was really lit.
00:41:44Oh, what are you doing?
00:41:44That's a Scandi flick.
00:41:46Or something near a Scandi flick.
00:41:48And more understeer.
00:41:49And there we are, ladies and gentlemen, across the line 12.
00:41:54Oh, thank you.
00:41:59So far, the Brits have won every single week.
00:42:02OK.
00:42:03We're hoping to keep that up.
00:42:05I've got the times here.
00:42:08You, Bonneville.
00:42:09Well.
00:42:09You did it.
00:42:11And just to give you some idea, OK.
00:42:13Fastest so far is a 117.
00:42:15Slowest is David Hasselhoff.
00:42:17124.
00:42:19You did it in 1.
00:42:2220.
00:42:242.
00:42:262.
00:42:27So you're faster than David Hasselhoff.
00:42:29Beat them off.
00:42:29Beat them off.
00:42:30Beat them off.
00:42:31Beat them off.
00:42:34Well done.
00:42:35But.
00:42:38Did you meet our American guest, who's come very far for this.
00:42:43Casey Ernest.
00:42:44Won.
00:42:4718.6.
00:42:48Wow.
00:42:51So there we are.
00:42:53Our first American winner.
00:42:56Best one.
00:42:56Sorry, Hugh.
00:42:58And there we are, ladies and gentlemen.
00:43:00A very big thanks to Hugh Bonneville
00:43:02and the fastest man who lives with a bear,
00:43:06Casey Addison!
00:43:13Now, in olden times,
00:43:16the furthest you could ever travel in one day
00:43:18was as far as your horse could go before it died.
00:43:22Yeah.
00:43:22And then, in the late 50s,
00:43:23the invention of jets and helicopters meant
00:43:26if you had the money, you could have breakfast in the south of France
00:43:29on a boat, go skiing in the Alps at lunchtime
00:43:31and get to Turin in time for dinner with the Contessa.
00:43:35Yeah.
00:43:35Now, this created the jet set, which is all very
00:43:38where do you go to, my lovely, when you're alone in your bed.
00:43:41But, I was wondering,
00:43:43now that cars are so fast and roads, by and large, are good,
00:43:47we have motorways, for example,
00:43:48do you need the jets and helicopters anymore?
00:43:50Yeah, you do.
00:43:51Well, to find out, I took the grand tour
00:43:54to Saint-Tropez.
00:44:06Good evening.
00:44:09Come in.
00:44:18I'm here for a day.
00:44:27I've got dinner tonight in Turin with the Contessa, but I fancy a bit of skiing.
00:44:33So, could you bring the car out?
00:44:36Can you make sure there are no ordinary people near it?
00:44:39I don't want a disease.
00:45:01Soon, Giovanni arrived at the boat with my car, and after he'd loaded the boot with half
00:45:10of what I'd need for the day, I climbed aboard and set off.
00:45:21Right, what all these people are looking at is Bugatti's answer to the Augusta 109 and
00:45:29Gulfstream G6.
00:45:31It's called the Chiron, and there's no other way of saying this.
00:45:34It's the fastest car in the world.
00:45:42Obviously, it isn't the fastest car in the world right now, because I'm sort of going
00:45:48around the port in Saint-Tropez, but this, in fact, is the Bugatti's party piece.
00:46:00But think about it.
00:46:02This is a 1,479 horsepower, 261 mile an hour rocket ship.
00:46:11It is engineering taken to the max, and then some.
00:46:16And yet, I'm doing 20 miles an hour, and it feels like a golf.
00:46:22It's like Concorde.
00:46:24Anyone in the sky in the 1960s who was doing twice the speed of sound was wearing a G suit.
00:46:30But on Concorde, they were doing twice the speed of sound while wearing a lounge suit, sipping
00:46:36from a glass of Chateau Margaux.
00:46:39That was the brilliance of Concorde.
00:46:41It was right at the edge of what was technically possible, but it felt normal.
00:46:48And that's what the Bugatti's doing here.
00:46:52Eventually, though, I emerged from the summer-long Saint-Tropez traffic jam, and joined the motorway,
00:46:59home turf for the Chiron, and the monster that powers it.
00:47:03It's an 8-litre monster with 16 cylinders, and enough grunt to make kilometers feel like inches.
00:47:29We all thought the Veyron was fairly amazing, but this has out-amazinged it.
00:47:36Let me give you a few of the headline statistics.
00:47:41The Chiron accelerates from 0 to 186 miles an hour, whilst the Toyota hatchback accelerates
00:47:50from 0 to 60.
00:47:52Flat out, this will drain its fuel tank, ready, in nine minutes.
00:48:00And to put that in any language the youth can understand, it's like drinking seven shot glasses
00:48:06full of petrol every second.
00:48:10The Chiron has 10 radiators.
00:48:14That's more than I've got in my apartment.
00:48:16And then there's the water pump, which sends 200 gallons of water a minute around the engine.
00:48:22That could brim a bath in 12 seconds.
00:48:26Firemen use less powerful pumps than that.
00:48:31It's not a cheap car to buy, but it costs two and a half million pounds.
00:48:37And it's not cheap to run either.
00:48:39The tires, for instance, cost 13,000 pounds.
00:48:45The stats just go on and on and on, but all you can ever think is,
00:48:50bloody hell, this thing's quick.
00:49:02Obviously, I can't show you how fast on a motorway,
00:49:05because the French police have completely lost their sense of humour about speeding.
00:49:11So, I had to make a call.
00:49:15Giovanni!
00:49:18Yeah, could you lay on a deserted airfield
00:49:22and... what shall I get?
00:49:24A BMW M4
00:49:26in about 20 seconds?
00:49:28Certainly, sir.
00:49:29Thanks.
00:49:38Okay, I don't really have time to do this on my busy day,
00:49:42but what I'm going to do
00:49:42is demonstrate to you the difference between
00:49:45a really fast car
00:49:48and a Bugatti Chiron.
00:50:20Drag race over.
00:50:21I got back on the road.
00:50:29There is no doubt in my mind
00:50:32that this is faster than flying.
00:50:34It just is.
00:50:35I mean, if I were to be racing Hammond today
00:50:37in his silly helicopter,
00:50:39he'd still be sitting at the heliport in Saint-Tropez
00:50:42saying, requesting ILS, Vector, Golf, Tango, Donkey, Norway, Shirley.
00:50:49You're all completely unnecessary gibberish,
00:50:51just so everyone goes,
00:50:53ooh, aren't you clever being able to fly a helicopter?
00:50:56Really?
00:50:59I, on the other hand, having got no clearance at all from anyone,
00:51:03had turned off the motorway
00:51:05and into the foothills of the Alps.
00:51:17And you might imagine that on roads like this,
00:51:20a mid-engine supercar would be divine.
00:51:23But this is no ordinary mid-engine supercar.
00:51:29A McLaren 720 or a Ford GT,
00:51:33they would be brilliant here.
00:51:35But this, I'm going to be honest with you,
00:51:38it feels heavy.
00:51:40Because it is.
00:51:41I'm not saying it's cumbersome.
00:51:43I'm not saying that getting it up this mountain road
00:51:46is like getting a cow up a stepladder.
00:51:48But it's not delicate or deft or dainty.
00:51:55No, the chiral.
00:51:57It tackles mountain roads in a way
00:51:59I've never experienced before.
00:52:04Imagine the tear of a newly born child.
00:52:07Well, this isn't like that.
00:52:08This is more like
00:52:13a Vesuvius.
00:52:15There are no straights in a Chiron.
00:52:19You've got me out of a corner
00:52:21and then you're at the next one.
00:52:23Pretty much immediately.
00:52:26I'm out of a corner.
00:52:29Slow down.
00:52:31Oh, my God.
00:52:37Most supercars would flow up a hill like this,
00:52:40but this is more staccato.
00:52:45Weirdly then,
00:52:46the best way to enjoy this car on a mountain road
00:52:49is to drive it much more slowly
00:52:51than it can actually go.
00:53:05Is this a bad thing?
00:53:07Well, not when you remember who it's been made for.
00:53:15You tell a Bugatti customer
00:53:18that this can generate 2G in the corners,
00:53:20he won't care less.
00:53:22Tell him it's got 3K diamonds in the speakers
00:53:24and he'll say,
00:53:25really?
00:53:26Only in a Russian accent.
00:53:31I think they've judged this to perfection.
00:53:39Soon, I arrived at Les Dezelles,
00:53:42where I removed my ski boot from the boot,
00:53:45bought another from the shop,
00:53:49and went off to find a glacier.
00:53:53And went off to find a glacier.
00:54:20Let's do this.
00:54:23It is remarkable
00:54:26that in this day and age,
00:54:27I've been able to do this.
00:54:29Just a few hours ago,
00:54:31I was in the south of France,
00:54:33surrounded by people
00:54:35in their carefully designed topless swimsuits.
00:54:39And now I'm on and out,
00:54:41doing skiing
00:54:42with the others of the jet set.
00:54:47It took rather longer
00:54:49to get down the glacier
00:54:50than I'd expected.
00:54:52So, when I got back to the town,
00:54:54I had to get my skis off
00:54:56and my skates on.
00:55:00Not that you could actually hear
00:55:02that I had my skates on.
00:55:06The only, really odd noise
00:55:08you get in a Chiron
00:55:09is the whoosh
00:55:10of the turbocharging system.
00:55:12Ready?
00:55:19It's actually relaxing.
00:55:21It sounds like
00:55:23small wavelets
00:55:25breaking on a tropical beach.
00:55:27Here we go.
00:55:30What this car is,
00:55:31is just a really nice,
00:55:34comfortable place to sit
00:55:36while it gets on
00:55:37with the business
00:55:38of smashing continents.
00:55:42And that's exactly
00:55:44what it'd have to do
00:55:45if I were to be on time
00:55:46for my dinner date
00:55:47with the Contessa
00:55:48in Chiron.
00:55:51Happily,
00:55:52I soon left France,
00:55:53where they rip
00:55:54your fingernails out
00:55:55if you break the speed limit,
00:55:56and entered Italy,
00:55:58where,
00:55:59so far as I can tell,
00:56:00speeding isn't really seen
00:56:02as a crime at all.
00:56:05I was once pulled over
00:56:06by the police in Italy
00:56:07when I was driving
00:56:08a Lamborghini,
00:56:09and they told me
00:56:10I wasn't driving
00:56:11quickly enough.
00:56:12It's a Lamborghini.
00:56:13When you leave here,
00:56:14you drive like the wind.
00:56:16This is my instruction
00:56:18from the police.
00:56:24Right, it's 47 miles to Chirona,
00:56:2745 minutes to get there,
00:56:29and I'm never late.
00:56:31Pathologically punctual.
00:56:34By taking the police advice
00:56:36and driving like the wind,
00:56:38I made it to the outskirts
00:56:40of Chirona
00:56:41with 11 minutes to go.
00:56:44And I had to spend
00:56:46one of those minutes
00:56:47getting changed in the bogs
00:56:49at a motorway service station.
00:57:01Right.
00:57:01I have got nine minutes
00:57:05to make this rendezvous.
00:57:10This should be interesting.
00:57:18There was a film called rendezvous
00:57:20made in the 1960s
00:57:22when someone tried to cross Paris
00:57:24in nine minutes.
00:57:27Well, now it was time
00:57:29to put that 16-cylinder engine
00:57:31in race mode
00:57:33and make a little master of that.
00:57:45and then it was being a big player.
00:57:45I don't know.
00:57:49Oh, shit.
00:58:30Oh, shit.
00:59:02Are you good?
00:59:36Are you seriously saying that point to point a car is faster than a helicopter?
00:59:41It's faster than your helicopter.
00:59:43You start yours with a cord.
00:59:47You do.
00:59:48But a car is not faster than a helicopter.
00:59:51Okay, then, a race.
00:59:52Okay?
00:59:53You in your Moolenex Magimix versus me in that Chiron.
00:59:57No, I can't.
00:59:57I'm not allowed to fly it at the moment.
00:59:59Why not?
01:00:00I broke my leg.
01:00:01Oh, in we go again.
01:00:03God.
01:00:04So there we are.
01:00:05Because of his astonishing selfishness, there will be no race between his kitchen appliance
01:00:10and the Chiron.
01:00:11And on that terrible disappointment, it's time to end.
01:00:14Thank you very much for watching.
01:00:15Goodbye.
01:00:15Goodbye.
01:00:17Thank you very much.
01:00:21Thank you very much.
01:00:31Thank you very much.
01:00:45Goodbye.
01:00:45Goodbye.
01:00:47Goodbye.
01:00:55Goodbye.
01:00:56Goodbye.
01:00:57Goodbye.
01:00:58Goodbye.
01:00:59Goodbye.
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