#TheGrandTour #OneForTheRoad #ClarksonHammondMay #FinalLap #ZimbabweSpecial
After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.
#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory
After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.
#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory
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MotorTranscript
00:00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:41CastingWords
00:01:28CastingWords
00:01:31The reason why we're still here is after last week's show, these two got talking to a man in the
00:01:38local town
00:01:39Who has convinced them that in that lake there is a monster
00:01:45There is a monster
00:01:47Have you seen it?
00:01:49No, but the man was very convincing
00:01:51Did he sell you a tea towel with a drawing of a monster on it?
00:01:56He did and now we know what the monster looks like
00:01:59Exactly
00:01:59We've also got photographs of the monster
00:02:02Look, we've got this one
00:02:03That's a log
00:02:04And we've got this one
00:02:06Look at that
00:02:07Another log
00:02:09Can I just draw your attention to a picture I've got, okay?
00:02:12Here it is
00:02:12Well, that's not a monster, is it?
00:02:14No, that is an elephant shrew
00:02:17Well, spotted
00:02:17Now, this is the unison GTR among animals
00:02:22Have you ever seen it on the move?
00:02:24It's phenomenal
00:02:24It leaves a rooster tail and it corners like it's got downforce
00:02:27But my point is
00:02:29This is a very rare animal
00:02:31And yet the photograph of it
00:02:33Is in sharp focus
00:02:34And colour
00:02:37Now, all the pictures of your monster are in black and white
00:02:40Oh, maybe it is black and white
00:02:42And blurry
00:02:42Maybe it's blurry
00:02:44This has been driving me mad all week
00:02:46So I decided to go for a drive on
00:02:48Some of Scotland's, let's be honest
00:02:50Brilliant driving roads
00:02:51They are, they are fantastic
00:02:56And actually, speaking of which
00:02:59Something called the North Highland Initiative
00:03:02Set up by Prince Charles
00:03:04A few years ago, it came up with the North Coast 500
00:03:06Now, this was going to be Scotland's answer to Route 66 in America
00:03:11Miles of amazing scenery
00:03:14Incredible roads
00:03:15Got a picture of a bit of it here
00:03:17Look at that
00:03:17Huge success
00:03:19Loads of big spenders came with their Lamborghinis and their Ferraris and their Porsches
00:03:24Hotels were full
00:03:25Restaurants were packed
00:03:26Local economy booming
00:03:28So how long do you think it was
00:03:31Before the local newspaper carried a headline
00:03:33Containing the following words
00:03:35Police and crackdown
00:03:38Ten days
00:03:40Two days
00:03:41Two days
00:03:41Two days
00:03:42Oh, we can't have people driving along there
00:03:44What else are you going to do with it?
00:03:46Like running to a pedestrian
00:03:46It's a road
00:03:47I know it is
00:03:48And then
00:03:48You've got the A9
00:03:5499 miles
00:03:55Of continuous average speed camera
00:03:5899
00:03:5999 miles
00:04:01And I'm sorry
00:04:01You lot
00:04:02I presume you're all petrolheads
00:04:03Yes?
00:04:05So let me ask you a question
00:04:08Dying in your beds
00:04:10Many years from now
00:04:13Would you be willing to trade all the days
00:04:16From this day
00:04:17To that
00:04:18For one chance
00:04:20Just one chance
00:04:22To come back and say to the
00:04:25Scottish Safety Camera Partnership
00:04:27You can take our licences
00:04:29But you can't take our freedom
00:04:34Freedom
00:04:37Freedom
00:04:37Freedom
00:04:39Freedom
00:04:39Freedom
00:04:39You don't know what you've done
00:04:41Freedom
00:04:41Freedom
00:04:42Freedom
00:04:43Freedom
00:04:44Freedom
00:04:44Freedom
00:04:44Freedom
00:04:44I don't know what you've done
00:04:47I know
00:04:47That's dangerous
00:04:48I know
00:04:49Let's just get on with the show
00:04:51Yes
00:04:51In tonight's car programme
00:04:55An ant in a jar
00:04:58a dog on a lead
00:05:02and some beans on a table.
00:05:07But first, when someone wants to buy a large and very fast saloon car,
00:05:10they tend to buy German.
00:05:13They think there is no alternative.
00:05:15But is there?
00:05:23This is the Lexus GSF.
00:05:27And straight away, we can see that it isn't an especially handsome car.
00:05:33And it's a Lexus, which marks its owner out as a golf enthusiast
00:05:38and possibly a bore.
00:05:42And things are worse when you try to live with it for a while.
00:05:47The most annoying thing, apart from the buttons on the steering wheel,
00:05:51all of which seem to retune the radio to a station you don't like very much,
00:05:54apart from that, every time you reach for a can of zesty drink in the cup holder,
00:06:01I've done it again.
00:06:03You can't help but nudge the mouse,
00:06:06which sets the destination on the sat-nav,
00:06:08to where you are.
00:06:11In 300 yards, right turn.
00:06:13I don't need to be told how to get here.
00:06:16I'm already here.
00:06:17Next, right.
00:06:18Then, right turn.
00:06:20Oh, God, now it's trying to make me go back there a few yards.
00:06:23I was there!
00:06:26So, apart from a fiddly and annoying sat-nav...
00:06:29Next, right.
00:06:30Then, right turn.
00:06:32What else do you get for your £70,000?
00:06:37Eh...
00:06:38Not much, really.
00:06:40You don't get Wi-Fi or Apple CarPlay or gesture control.
00:06:45You don't even get a DSG gearbox.
00:06:48Seats don't massage you as you drive along.
00:06:51It can't park itself.
00:06:53But you do get a DVD player.
00:06:56And how 1996 is that?
00:07:00This car, then, is sparsely equipped and annoying.
00:07:04However, it's also rather good.
00:07:15First of all, there's the engine.
00:07:19BMW and Mercedes both use turbocharging
00:07:23to balance the need for power
00:07:24with the need for good emissions.
00:07:27But this doesn't.
00:07:30This mixes the fuel with the air
00:07:32and then, with no trickery at all,
00:07:35blows it up.
00:07:42Of course, that does mean
00:07:44the GSF isn't very kind to animals,
00:07:47and that's a bad thing, make no mistake.
00:07:52But on the upside,
00:07:54listen to the noise it makes.
00:08:00At medium revs, it sounds baleful,
00:08:03like a lonely dog.
00:08:07But when you build the revs up,
00:08:10it sounds like what it is.
00:08:18It doesn't produce anything like the power or the torque you get from its turbocharged German rivals.
00:08:27But the sheer excitement...
00:08:32It's like being tickled by a goddess.
00:08:39And it's not exactly slow.
00:08:48It does 0-60 in four and a half seconds.
00:08:53And flat out, it'll do nearly 170 miles an hour.
00:09:07It's hard to believe that this is a large and extremely comfortable five-seater
00:09:12with a boot that's big enough for your golf bats
00:09:15and all your Freemasonry paraphernalia,
00:09:18because it feels like a sports car.
00:09:25You can change the way the car behaves,
00:09:28with various knobs here and buttons here,
00:09:31but I've got everything turned off,
00:09:33so I can get a feel for how the car behaves
00:09:36without an electronic safety blanket.
00:09:40And I like it!
00:10:01Look at that.
00:10:03The ceiling's not brilliant at low speeds,
00:10:05but when you've got the arse hanging out like that,
00:10:08it's fantastic!
00:10:13It's time for another zesty drink.
00:10:16Oh, damn it!
00:10:17In 300 yards...
00:10:19I know where I am!
00:10:20Next right.
00:10:21Then right turn.
00:10:23Oh, for God's sake!
00:10:26For living with on a day-to-day basis,
00:10:29German cars are far better.
00:10:31But as a driving machine,
00:10:33and you may find this conclusion surprising,
00:10:36I think the GSF has them licked.
00:10:55Now...
00:10:57Now, I should point out, there is a new BMW M5 coming later this year,
00:11:02but it'll have to go some to be better than that GSF, it really will.
00:11:05Yeah, yeah, but exactly how many animals were harmed in the making of this?
00:11:10A lot.
00:11:11One of them was a tortoise.
00:11:12I know.
00:11:13Let's gloss over that, okay?
00:11:15And let's find out now how fast the Lexus goes around the Ebola drone,
00:11:19and that, of course, means handing it over to a man
00:11:22who thinks that fruit is from the Soviet Union.
00:11:25Yep, it's the American.
00:11:30He's coiled and ready.
00:11:32And he's off, unleashing all the 471 wheeling horsepower
00:11:38for the first sprint of the Ism't Straight.
00:11:41What the hell does all this shit do in here?
00:11:44All he needs is two pedals and a wheel to unleash the full shock and oar.
00:11:49Traction control?
00:11:51You want something with a mind of its own.
00:11:54Get a horse.
00:11:55Get married.
00:11:57Fortunately, he doesn't need the electronic nannies.
00:12:00Pushing it hard up to your name here,
00:12:02and now leaning on the mighty Brembo brakes.
00:12:06Gentle now, letting the torque venturing diff do its thing,
00:12:10and then back on the throttle
00:12:11so that mighty V8 can sing its song once more.
00:12:15If they'd have let me bring my gun,
00:12:17I'd have probably shot myself by now.
00:12:20And that would be a waste of great talent.
00:12:23Right, another fast dash up the Ism't,
00:12:26and now shifting rapidly down the 8-speed automatic
00:12:30as he arrives at Old Lady's house,
00:12:33feeding it precisely through there on this damp track
00:12:36before opening it up for the broken surface down to substation.
00:12:40Giving the fixed-rate dampers a good workout here.
00:12:44Two corners left.
00:12:46Tidy through there.
00:12:48Just field of sheep to go.
00:12:50And he's right on the edge of the grip and across the line.
00:12:58I don't look good because what did it do?
00:13:01Aha!
00:13:03Well, now let's find out where it goes on the lapboard.
00:13:06Remember, it was damp.
00:13:08Er, oh, no, go.
00:13:11Oh, wow.
00:13:12Wow.
00:13:12So it's slower than an already out-of-date BMW.
00:13:15It makes you look like a Freemason,
00:13:17and it causes animals to explode.
00:13:20Yes.
00:13:20Yes, yes.
00:13:21But it's just another of your excellent recommendations, Jeremy.
00:13:24Thank you very much for that, but never mind.
00:13:26Yes, thank you very much indeed.
00:13:27And now we must move on because it is time
00:13:29to set the sat-nav for destination chat
00:13:32as we head down Conversation Street.
00:13:39LAUGHTER
00:13:45APPLAUSE
00:13:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:13:50APPLAUSE
00:13:50That's it.
00:13:51That's it.
00:13:52And it didn't hurt as much as the wine bottle last week.
00:13:55Now, Mercedes, they've come up with this plan or this idea
00:13:59where you can rent your car out when you're not using it.
00:14:03Is that a bit like, um, Airbnb?
00:14:06Exactly like Airbnb.
00:14:08The thing Mercedes haven't realised is that we,
00:14:10and I'm sure you all agree with me on this,
00:14:12we form an emotional bond with our car.
00:14:14Yeah, we're attached to them.
00:14:15Exactly, so you're renting it to someone else
00:14:17would be like renting out your pet.
00:14:19Yeah.
00:14:19Or your penis.
00:14:22LAUGHTER
00:14:22I mean, yes.
00:14:23I'm attached to it, I mean, that's what I mean.
00:14:26Yeah, you wouldn't want to see somebody...
00:14:26I would hope so, yeah.
00:14:27You wouldn't want to see somebody else having fun with it.
00:14:30No, it's mine!
00:14:31LAUGHTER
00:14:31Exactly, exactly.
00:14:33And that's what I'm worried about.
00:14:34Mercedes has obviously got it into its head,
00:14:36and this really worries me because it's a large car company,
00:14:39that cars are just tools like microwave ovens
00:14:42or fridge freezers that we're just sort of glad...
00:14:43Oh, yeah, you can borrow it, I don't really care.
00:14:45No, you're absolutely right, actually.
00:14:47They are very emotional,
00:14:47because you know if you have a car,
00:14:49eventually you sell it,
00:14:50but then you see somebody else driving around in it.
00:14:53That always feels bad.
00:14:54It's a bit like watching your ex-girlfriend
00:14:56do sex with someone else.
00:14:58LAUGHTER
00:14:58And after a terrible evening in a wardrobe,
00:15:01I know.
00:15:03LAUGHTER
00:15:05It's strangely undermining.
00:15:09I'm sorry to interrupt,
00:15:10but you can see those circles in the lake just there.
00:15:12Monster!
00:15:13Monster!
00:15:13It's a monster!
00:15:14It's a monster!
00:15:15I just saw...
00:15:15Did anyone else see that?
00:15:17Monster!
00:15:17Monster!
00:15:18It's real.
00:15:19Well, hang on, why don't we just...
00:15:21Since we can't agree on this,
00:15:22is there a monster in the lock?
00:15:24Yeah!
00:15:26Right, there you go.
00:15:27They live here, they would know.
00:15:29And if there were no monster,
00:15:30what would you do for a tourist industry up here?
00:15:32Sell tea towels without monsters on them!
00:15:35I'm not having that,
00:15:36because what you're saying is that, you know,
00:15:37come to beautiful Scotland, as you've said,
00:15:39lovely roads, lovely scenery,
00:15:41there's a hotel of beautiful...
00:15:42Why would they say,
00:15:43yeah, but there's a monster?
00:15:45That would be like saying,
00:15:46come to Yorkshire, it's beautiful,
00:15:47we've got the plague, you know?
00:15:48And they wouldn't do that.
00:15:49We've got distracted a little bit.
00:15:52We have got a bit off topic.
00:15:53What were we talking about?
00:15:54No, we were talking about him
00:15:56hiding in a wardrobe,
00:15:57watching the next girlfriend have sex.
00:15:59That was an overshare.
00:16:00It was a bit of an overshare.
00:16:02It was either that or he'd rented his penis out.
00:16:04I can't remember.
00:16:06Something along those lines.
00:16:07But actually, there's a point I just want to make on this,
00:16:09about this emotional connection we have with our cars.
00:16:11Because you know when you scrap a car,
00:16:13I don't know if anyone's done that,
00:16:14it really is very tragic when you watch a car
00:16:16that you've got all those shared memories going into the crusher.
00:16:18It's the end of the road.
00:16:18It is, the end of the road.
00:16:19Well, there's a new organisation,
00:16:21it's called Charity Car,
00:16:23where you can give your car to them,
00:16:24they deal with all the paperwork and what have you,
00:16:26take your car away, yeah?
00:16:28And then they give the money that they raise
00:16:30to a charity of your choice.
00:16:32Well, that's quite a nice idea.
00:16:33It is a nice idea.
00:16:34So that, you know,
00:16:35it's sad that your old car's gone,
00:16:37but now, you know, a donkey can be rescued.
00:16:40And your car lives on in the smile of an abandoned donkey.
00:16:44That's a beautiful thing.
00:16:45That's what we're about.
00:16:47That's what this show is.
00:16:48It's all heart.
00:16:49Yeah.
00:16:50That's what we are.
00:16:51Heart and road safety,
00:16:52those are the two pillars of the...
00:16:54that underpin everything, really, on this show.
00:16:56I've got some conversation for you.
00:16:59Yes, which is that there's a website
00:17:00that tells you how many of any given type of car
00:17:03are still left on the roads of Britain today, yes?
00:17:06And, er, I'm afraid we have some sad news.
00:17:08Yeah, we do.
00:17:09This is a big worry.
00:17:10Er, you remember the Citroen Saxo VTS?
00:17:13Yeah?
00:17:13There it is.
00:17:13The car of the Agrior.
00:17:15It is.
00:17:15The ideal car to nip out and steal a chainsaw in.
00:17:19Fabulous, proper, fizzy little hatchback.
00:17:21Loved it.
00:17:22Well, in 2008, there were 5,000 of them on the road.
00:17:24This year, 491 left on the road.
00:17:28And, in fact, I know this is a worry.
00:17:30We've done...
00:17:30Look, we've got a little chart.
00:17:32We've drawn this up.
00:17:32At that rate, by 2019, they'll all have gone.
00:17:36There's also the Vauxhall Calibra 16 valve.
00:17:40There's a picture of it.
00:17:41We used to love that.
00:17:41Do you know there are only 323 of those left?
00:17:46And they could be extinct within a year.
00:17:49And do you know what's interesting?
00:17:50Is there are people all over the world working hard to save the tiger from extinction.
00:17:57Nobody is doing anything to save the Vauxhall Calibra 16 valve.
00:18:01We've identified something here.
00:18:02No, there isn't.
00:18:03However, there is some good news in all of this.
00:18:05The Morris Ittel.
00:18:07175,000 of these turds were squeezed out by the Austin.
00:18:15And in 2015, there were only 35 left.
00:18:20Yes!
00:18:21Now you can see it!
00:18:23That is good news.
00:18:25That is good news.
00:18:27Only 35 on the road.
00:18:28Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:18:31You're absolutely right.
00:18:33But before you celebrate, yes, 35 left on the road in 2015.
00:18:37Mm-hm.
00:18:37In 2016, there were 47.
00:18:41What?
00:18:42So they're going up?
00:18:43Are they meeting?
00:18:44No.
00:18:46No.
00:18:46I think people are restoring them.
00:18:48What people?
00:18:49Mad people.
00:18:49Anyway, look.
00:18:50No, you're possibly right.
00:18:51But I've done a calculation.
00:18:53And at that rate, that's a 34% increase in just one year.
00:18:56And at that rate, by the year 2044, all 175,000 Morris Ittels will be back on the road.
00:19:05Oh, my God.
00:19:06This is a disaster.
00:19:07It is.
00:19:07That, ladies and gentlemen, is Brexit.
00:19:11That's what they want.
00:19:12Backwards with Britain.
00:19:14It is time now, since we've reached the end of Conversation Street,
00:19:18to select reverse and have a look at this.
00:19:20This is the Bentley Bent-Ager.
00:19:22A massive, luxurious, four-wheel-drive SUV shooting brake.
00:19:28Question is, is it any good?
00:19:31Or is it a load of...
00:19:33What's the word?
00:19:42Well, to find out, James brought it here, to the German Alps.
00:19:50Right, I'll get straight to the point.
00:19:52It is tremendous.
00:19:55The important thing to remember about this car is this.
00:19:58It's not an off-roader.
00:20:00It's not an SUV.
00:20:02First and foremost, it's a Bentley.
00:20:05That's what this car is about.
00:20:08I'm already loving it.
00:20:11But then, guess what?
00:20:14The problem is that a bare-bones Bentley costs £160,000.
00:20:20And for £12,000 less than that, you can have this.
00:20:35The new Jaguar F-Pace.
00:20:45And it's not like this thing is a garden shed.
00:20:48It's got loads of clever stuff on it.
00:20:49So, if you're coming back from the shops with your arms full of heavy bags,
00:20:53you can open the boot with your foot.
00:20:55Yeah, but I can do that with a Range Rover.
00:20:57Yes, but it's £120,000 more.
00:20:59And you don't get one of these.
00:21:02Look.
00:21:02What is it?
00:21:03It's a waterproof, go-anywhere bracelet that you use to lock and unlock it,
00:21:09and start the engine, so you don't need to carry keys in your pocket.
00:21:13That...
00:21:14That's actually quite a good only do, isn't it?
00:21:16I know, it's brilliant.
00:21:16Maybe charge it up.
00:21:18I don't know.
00:21:19Maybe it's like one of those watches.
00:21:21Oh, hello.
00:21:22Oh.
00:21:24Puff Daddy is arriving.
00:21:26I think he's wearing a chain.
00:21:28You know, that thing costs four times more than the Jag,
00:21:32and it's not like the badges are that different, is it?
00:21:34That Jag is...
00:21:37a car.
00:21:38This is more of a statement.
00:21:40This is a new way of understanding the condition of being human.
00:21:43It is the last word in luxury.
00:21:45It's a very expensive statement, though, isn't it?
00:21:47Yes.
00:21:47I mean, if you've got the money to buy that,
00:21:48you could buy the Jag and still have £130,000 to spend on a PR agent
00:21:53to put you on breakfast TV talking about how great you are.
00:21:56It cost £130,000 more for a reason.
00:21:58Jags are for deluded middle-aged men who entertain tragic fantasies about being letharious.
00:22:03I know I've had four of them.
00:22:05Brands with delusion.
00:22:07Hello.
00:22:07Bentley, that's what you mean.
00:22:08Guys.
00:22:09What?
00:22:09We are not going to sort this out in a car park.
00:22:12We need to go for a drive, and I have worked out a route on this map here, okay?
00:22:18We are in the village of Vank, and we'll go from Vank to kissing, then on to petting, then this
00:22:30place, and then wedding.
00:22:34So, Vank, kissing, petting, f***ing, wedding.
00:22:37Yes.
00:22:38It'll be a journey through life without leaving Central Europe.
00:22:42Yeah, it will.
00:22:43Let's do it.
00:22:45Very excited, we set off on what the Germans call the romantic road.
00:22:55So, we are leaving the town of Vank.
00:22:58What's that?
00:22:58Thank you for what?
00:23:01Oh, yeah.
00:23:06And after just a few minutes, something very unusual happened.
00:23:13Guys, I can't think of anything to say.
00:23:17What a relief.
00:23:19No, but I really can't, because if you want a large luxury off-roader, you buy a Range Rover.
00:23:26The end.
00:23:28The end.
00:23:29Move on.
00:23:32James, however, had lots to say about his Bentayga.
00:23:37Hey, chaps.
00:23:38Did you know the stereo in my car has got 18 speakers?
00:23:42Is that all?
00:23:43Mine's got 27.
00:23:45Yeah, all plain rubbish.
00:23:48Thanks, Hammond.
00:23:50Actually, 27 speakers is not the point.
00:23:53My car stereo produces 1,950 watts, making it the most powerful stereo ever put in a car.
00:24:01In fact, it's about the only thing in here that does make a noise.
00:24:06This is a little bit like driving along in the British Library.
00:24:11It's very quiet.
00:24:12It's very refined.
00:24:14The carpets are very thick.
00:24:16Which means you simply aren't ready for what happens when you put your foot down.
00:24:21What?
00:24:27This has an all-new W12 600 horsepower engine in it.
00:24:32It's like being in a leather-trimmed volcanic eruption.
00:24:37It doesn't accelerate.
00:24:38It goes on.
00:24:43Bloody Nora.
00:24:45Sadly, at this point, Jeremy thought of something to say.
00:24:50See that?
00:24:51That's the prison where Hitler wrote Mein Kampf.
00:24:58Yeah, where are you going with that?
00:25:03Nowhere, really.
00:25:04Just thought you might like to know.
00:25:07Good.
00:25:08Let's get back to the cars.
00:25:10Now, you might be thinking that because Jaguar is owned by the same company that owned Land Rover,
00:25:15this is just a Freelander with a Jaguar badge on it.
00:25:18But it's not.
00:25:21Underneath is the same basic aluminium structure you find under a Jaguar XE,
00:25:26which is a fantastic car.
00:25:28So that's good.
00:25:29I do only get a 3-litre supercharged V6, which means 375 brake horsepower.
00:25:36That's 225 less than James's, let's be honest, leather-lined Audi Q7.
00:25:43But this is light, so it ain't no slouch.
00:25:49I like the way this thing handles itself.
00:25:51I like the way when you change direction, when you turn, it controls its weight, what there is of it,
00:25:56across the axles.
00:25:58That makes it feel nimble, eager.
00:26:01Doesn't feel like I'm sitting in a stately home falling off a cliff.
00:26:09Soon, James was in my way.
00:26:13Oh, look!
00:26:15Hey, James, you should be at where I am. You can see Buckingham Palace, and oh no, it's the back
00:26:19of your car.
00:26:20I like it when my man is following me. Do you have all the luggage and things for the weekend?
00:26:27Come on, James.
00:26:29You might have all the horsepower in the world, but what you are is in the way.
00:26:37Stay with that, Birmingham boy.
00:26:47James, are you worried all your furniture will slide about if you go any faster?
00:26:56Oh, tunnel. Excellent. I have important work to do.
00:27:09Honestly, the plebs make such a noise about everything.
00:27:12That is putting the S back in SUV. This is a sporty, sports utility vehicle.
00:27:19And the sport is not fishing.
00:27:22Sadly, our playtime was then interrupted by a worrying call from Clarkson.
00:27:29Um, guys, we've had a text from Mr. Wilman.
00:27:33Oh, God. What does it say?
00:27:35It said that to sort out the performance differences, we should go to a nearby airstrip,
00:27:41where he'd laid on some competition.
00:27:45So we did.
00:27:55Chaps, this is what we're up against. BMW X5 M.
00:28:004.4 litre, twin turbocharged, 567 horsepower.
00:28:04That is fairly serious competition.
00:28:06If you think about it, it's going to be Britain versus Germany.
00:28:10Well, not really. Your two cars are Indian and mine's German as well.
00:28:14All right, it's going to be India versus Germany, and I shall be victorious in my mighty, lighty Jaguar.
00:28:20Right.
00:28:21Well, you see, you won't be. Not in a million years.
00:28:32Sorry about wasting your time with this race.
00:28:37You could launch a car that does a million miles an hour and costs eight pence and runs on water,
00:28:42and people would still buy Range Rovers, because why would you not?
00:28:48Okay, air conditioning is off. It's in dynamic mode. Gearbox is in sport. Come on, little Jag.
00:28:57So I'm not really worried about Pinky and Perky's challenge, but the BMW does worry me.
00:29:03Almost as much power, very obviously lighter.
00:29:06A lot of well-to-do people in Britain will want to know the result of this race before they
00:29:11choose what colour Range Rover they'd like for next year's shooting season.
00:29:38Where's the Bentley gone?
00:29:42I'm losing, everybody.
00:29:46Come on. 150. Oh, no! Oh, no! Where's he getting that from?
00:29:54Easy.
00:30:01Last. Stone. Dead. Last.
00:30:06Bugger it.
00:30:08Yes, yes. Well done, James.
00:30:10Oh, who knew if you spend four times as much on a car, you'd get one that's a tiny bit
00:30:14faster than another.
00:30:16You two just haven't got the message, have you?
00:30:19What, then you lost?
00:30:20Yeah.
00:30:21Well, no, the message is very clear. Underpants, okay?
00:30:25You can buy a cheap pair from a market stall, or you can buy an expensive pair with gold thread
00:30:31in them,
00:30:31or you can do what everyone does, you go to Marks & Spencer's.
00:30:35And Marks & Spencer's, if you're watching this, not in the UK, is where we all buy our pants from.
00:30:40Well, I don't.
00:30:44After the race, we resumed our journey, and Richard and James resumed their bickering.
00:30:51What does F-Pace mean? It sounds like a domestic cleaning product.
00:30:56I think your Bentley would look better with alabaster lines instead of door mirrors.
00:31:00I was going to ask if the glove box is permanently locked shut in the Jag, because that's where you
00:31:05keep your wallet.
00:31:06The front of your Bentley looks silly. It looks a bit dark.
00:31:11And why was it you didn't get Brian Sewell's old job?
00:31:15Does the options list for your Bentley Bentayga include oil paintings of imaginary ancestors?
00:31:22I apologise for the noises these two are making. I realise you're all sitting at home going,
00:31:26what are they on about? I just want the Range Rover. Of course you do.
00:31:31The only reason you'd buy the Bentley is because your hip hop record has gone to number one.
00:31:35And the only reason you'd buy the Jag is because you can't afford a Range Rover.
00:31:42Since Jeremy had brought up the subject of money...
00:31:46I don't know how they can sell you one of these for, from 34 grand.
00:31:51And this one, with everything on it, quite apart from a V6 supercharged engine,
00:31:55it's got leather, everything, iPhone connectivity, radar distance control, voice control,
00:32:01electric boot, magic key you wear on your wrist, all of that still only costs 51 grand.
00:32:06How do they do that? Next to everything else, it suddenly looks like the bargain of the century.
00:32:12Jeremy, this car is better than yours.
00:32:15Well, no.
00:32:17It just isn't, is it?
00:32:19You're being a... what's the word?
00:32:28We then flashed through the village of Kissing, getting it over with as quickly as possible.
00:32:35Then we went through petting, and to make sure we reached, erm, third base before bedtime, we decided to set
00:32:44our sat-navs.
00:32:46Please name the country.
00:32:49Austria.
00:32:51Please name the city.
00:32:53Fu... King.
00:32:57Excuse me.
00:33:01Okay.
00:33:02Sorry.
00:33:04Okay.
00:33:06Fucking!
00:33:08Sorry.
00:33:10Is your destination Selking?
00:33:13No.
00:33:15Fu... King.
00:33:17Crocking has been accepted.
00:33:19Which street should I select?
00:33:22Hucking!
00:33:24Sorry.
00:33:25I can't say it.
00:33:27People are listening.
00:33:30Hucking.
00:33:31Sorry.
00:33:32Thankfully, Hammond decided to program his bargain basement system manually.
00:33:40F...
00:33:43U...
00:33:44N...
00:33:45K...
00:33:46Hahahaha!
00:33:49It's gone in!
00:33:52And soon, we cross the border into Austria.
00:33:57It's very, very pretty, Austria.
00:34:01No idea why Hitler was in such a bad mood.
00:34:07Eventually, we arrived, erm, here.
00:34:13Is this the climax of this stage of our journey?
00:34:16Is it all it's cracked up to be? That's what I want to know.
00:34:20Because often it can be a disappointment the first time you go there.
00:34:25First time I came here, I couldn't find the way in.
00:34:30Once we'd arrived in...
00:34:33Who's here?
00:34:34James was very keen we should get in the back of his Bentley.
00:34:40What's really incongruous about this, I think, is that you're very obviously in a Bentley.
00:34:44All this looks very Bentley until you look down here and you see these symbols on this control knob.
00:34:49And it's very obviously a serious off-roader.
00:34:52Oh, what? Those symbols? So you can set it for swamp, minefield, Christmas or Mexico.
00:34:58Nice!
00:34:58Shall I tell you something interesting about the wood or one of the woods you can have in this?
00:35:03It only grows on a cliff face in Asia and the way they get it is they have to abseil
00:35:08down it with their woodworking tools.
00:35:10Why don't they just use wood from a tree that grows in a field?
00:35:13Is everything standard in here?
00:35:15No.
00:35:16No?
00:35:17No.
00:35:18So how much is this car?
00:35:19This particular one?
00:35:20Yes.
00:35:21Is £212,000.
00:35:23What?
00:35:23So that means the extras in this car cost more than Hammond's entire Jaguar.
00:35:31How much is your Jaguar?
00:35:32It's about the same.
00:35:33That Jag with all the extras.
00:35:34That is £51,450.
00:35:36And this has got £52,000 worth of extras in it.
00:35:40It's just a little bit more on extras than the entire Jag.
00:35:44It's great value.
00:35:46Can I just say, James?
00:35:48Yes, do.
00:35:50I do quite like the interior of this car.
00:35:53No, I do.
00:35:54I'll be honest with you.
00:35:55I like the quilted leather.
00:35:56I like the wood that comes from a cliff and all of that.
00:35:59But the exterior, I'm sorry, it's hideous.
00:36:02Ugly.
00:36:03Big ugly.
00:36:03Well, hang on a minute.
00:36:06Because do you remember, and it is a long time ago, when the Continental GT first came out,
00:36:10we all thought that was hideous.
00:36:12It was.
00:36:12We all love it.
00:36:13It's one of the few things we agree on.
00:36:15Yes.
00:36:15Yes, that's true.
00:36:16But I think this is more like you.
00:36:18When I first met you, I thought you were ugly.
00:36:21And now, I still think you're ugly.
00:36:23A crushing criticism from one so handsome.
00:36:31James.
00:36:33What?
00:36:33Unlock the doors.
00:36:37James, please unlock the doors.
00:36:40We're in this place.
00:36:43In the back of a car.
00:36:45Together.
00:36:58Together.
00:37:00Together.
00:37:02Together.
00:37:02We'll pick up that pointless test later on.
00:37:04It's not pointless.
00:37:05Yes, it is.
00:37:06I already explained it perfectly well with the underpants thing.
00:37:09And I shall be explaining using more demonstrations later on.
00:37:12Oh, good.
00:37:13But now, it is time for Celebrity Brain Crash.
00:37:26Now, our guest, our guest today, he directed Batman, Planet of the Apes, Edward Scissorhands.
00:37:34And, after last week's mine disaster, he's decided to come to the studio underneath the mines in a miniature submarine.
00:37:43Ladies and gentlemen, Tim Burton!
00:37:48Here is the submarine.
00:37:50There he is.
00:37:52Sneaking underneath the mines as he heads cleverly towards us.
00:37:57He's out there somewhere.
00:37:58He's out there somewhere.
00:37:59This is fantastic.
00:38:00What are we going to talk to him about when he gets here?
00:38:02There's so much.
00:38:02What do you want to ask him?
00:38:03I want to ask him about The Nightmare Before Christmas.
00:38:06It's my favourite Christmas film.
00:38:07Is it?
00:38:08Yeah.
00:38:08I want to know what it's like to work with Johnny Depp.
00:38:11Yeah, there's a lot to talk to him about.
00:38:12There is an awful...
00:38:13Oh, hello.
00:38:15We've lost the feed somehow from the sub.
00:38:18Oh, my God almighty.
00:38:19Oh, my God.
00:38:21Oh, my God.
00:38:24Oh.
00:38:26There's obviously been a catastrophic failure with the submarine.
00:38:30No idea what could have caused it.
00:38:32The monster's bitten it.
00:38:36For the hundredth time, Hammond, there is no such thing as The Nightmare's Monster.
00:38:43Does that mean he's not coming on, then?
00:38:46Well, James, his lungs are filled with icy water.
00:38:49He's sunk to the bottom and his body has been compressed to the size of a ping pong ball.
00:38:53So that is a no.
00:38:54It's okay, though, because we have a backup plan.
00:38:58Really?
00:38:58Yes, they're filled with it.
00:39:00See, the thing is, these days, a lot of performance cars have launch control.
00:39:05Ah, yes, yes, and the way it works is you put your foot on the throttle and the brake at
00:39:09the same time, and the car's computer works out exactly how many revs you need and exactly how much wheel
00:39:15spin to give the car so that you get an absolutely perfect start as soon as you just take your
00:39:20foot off the brake.
00:39:20Yeah, and we were wondering, just when exactly can you use that?
00:39:24Yeah, because if you're sitting in a tan centre, there's a set of lights going, mim mim mim mim mim
00:39:28mim mim mim mim mim mim mim mim mim.
00:39:29Do you know what I mean?
00:39:29It's a bit rude.
00:39:30It is, as this short film explains.
00:39:48Coconut milk latte with a caramel shot, please.
00:39:51Okay, a coconut milk latte with a caramel.
00:40:21Oh, I think that's pretty much.
00:40:56AVAILABLE NOW
00:41:07The thing is, you can't even use launch control on a racetrack because you can only engage it for three
00:41:14or four seconds before it cuts out.
00:41:16And because you don't know when the lights are going to go green, you don't know when your three or
00:41:20four seconds start.
00:41:21Exactly, which is why we have decided it is the most pointless invention ever.
00:41:26Yes, and talking of pointless, let's get back to our film.
00:41:30We're road testing a Range Rover and some other cars.
00:41:33We began in the German village of Venk.
00:41:37And the plan was to go through kissing and petting towards wedding, which was our destination.
00:41:42Yes, and we pick up the action having decided to spend the night in f...
00:41:51We woke the next morning in this dew-kissed village.
00:41:57And over a rather awkward breakfast, Clarkson made an announcement.
00:42:06I don't mean to be hurtful or disrespectful, but, um...
00:42:13Well, go on, spit it out.
00:42:14Well, it's just because we've been here doesn't mean we necessarily have to go on to wedding.
00:42:20No, it's, it's, it's me, it's not you.
00:42:25No, he's right.
00:42:26It's been going so well.
00:42:28And if we go on to wedding, we'll have to carry on and on and on.
00:42:33Through routine, boredom, resentment, spare bedroom, temptation, affair, discovery, remorse, revenge, divorce, and then it's death.
00:42:48Or you could turn off through online dating, meaningless sex, bottomless regret, financial ruination, and then heart attack.
00:42:57And then, then you end up at death anyway.
00:42:59Exactly, Hammond. And that's why I'm suggesting that instead of going to wedding, we go to the Nürburgring.
00:43:08Oh.
00:43:10Because James' car was the only one that spoke German, he sat and sat now.
00:43:16Ziel Eingeben. Nürburgring.
00:43:20And then, we set off.
00:43:29Soon, we were on Germany's autobahs, which got us thinking about how sensible they are.
00:43:36And here we are, on the autobahn. No speed limits.
00:43:40Is it chaos? No.
00:43:44If you remove the speed limits, people don't all suddenly drive into bridge supports at 200 miles an hour.
00:43:51We're not that stupid.
00:43:53Just as if you leave the gate unlocked at the lion enclosure at a safari park, we don't all run
00:43:58in and have a picnic.
00:44:02In the last 15 years, Britain's economy has grown by 58%, whereas Germany's has grown by 102%.
00:44:11And that's because we're all doing 20 miles an hour, and they're doing 200.
00:44:17Speed is good for business, and it saves lives as well.
00:44:22Because if you think about it, when we drive down the motorway in Britain, we're looking at all the gantries
00:44:26to see if they have speed cameras,
00:44:28or we're looking at our speedometers to make sure we're not breaking the limit.
00:44:32We're not looking where we're going.
00:44:34Heavily enforced speed limits kill people.
00:44:39The autobahn also got us thinking about how times have changed on the SUV front.
00:44:47It is amazing, really, that an off-road vehicle can feel this stable, this planted, I think the word is.
00:44:53Because it's not that long ago, if you think about early Range Rovers and the like, going fast was actually
00:44:59quite frightening.
00:45:00They had stickers on the sun visors.
00:45:02Do you remember, with a picture of the car toppling over, avoid sudden swerves?
00:45:07Yes, I've completely forgotten about that sticker, but you're right, it did.
00:45:11If you operate the steering wheel, this vehicle will fall over.
00:45:19There are no speed limits, right?
00:45:21So we are allowed to go as fast as our cars will go.
00:45:24But who dares actually do that?
00:45:27Who dares go the fastest?
00:45:30I'm willing to play that game, I might even join with him.
00:45:33Hang on.
00:45:35Go on, James, focus out.
00:45:39There you go, 187, top speed.
00:45:43Really?
00:45:43Thing is, you were behind me when you started, and you still are behind me.
00:45:48I did 190.
00:45:50Oh, for God's sake, you didn't. That's faster than your car will go.
00:45:55In order to put a stop to this nonsense, I made us pull in at the next service station.
00:46:03Right, small cameras.
00:46:05We fix these to the dash where they can see the speedo, and then there's no cheating.
00:46:09Why have you got a dog?
00:46:11I shall show you. Follow me.
00:46:15If you want a pet, you can have something expensive, like an iguana with a silver necklace.
00:46:21Or you can have something cheap, like an ant.
00:46:24What ant?
00:46:25That ant.
00:46:25Or you can use your common sense and have a labra dog.
00:46:38With my clever demonstration over, we got back on the motorway, and mounted Hammond's honesty cameras.
00:46:46I've got a good way of cheating, still.
00:46:49Because, if I push this button here, watch, my speedometer changes to kilometres an hour.
00:46:55He'll never know.
00:46:56And Jeremy, while you're setting your camera up, don't think about changing your display to kilometres an hour so you
00:47:02get a bigger number.
00:47:10It was now time to begin the speed trials.
00:47:18Here you go. Go for a big one.
00:47:21It's a world of speed and glory.
00:47:25Come on, Andy, you must be able to see me.
00:47:29Come on, come on, come on.
00:47:32Out of the way, and you with the Audi. Come on.
00:47:36As the traffic eased, Hammond was knocking on the door of 150 miles an hour.
00:47:43That's 148.
00:47:4649.
00:47:47And I, too, was getting close.
00:47:50150 coming up.
00:47:51150, any minute now.
00:47:53Come on, stretch it, stretch it, stretch it, stretch it, stretch it.
00:47:57Sadly, it was hard to say how fast James was going, because he's an imbecile.
00:48:09Oh, yeah, big numbers coming up.
00:48:13Got to beat 1-5-1.
00:48:17Shit.
00:48:18Why won't it go any faster than that?
00:48:21Come on!
00:48:22Why won't you go any faster than 148?
00:48:35Eventually, heavy traffic ended this important test.
00:48:42Right, as we are in a traffic jam, I may as well give you the results of Who Dares Wins.
00:48:48Richard Hammond, 155 miles an hour.
00:48:51I'm Max, the Range Rover, at 149.
00:48:54And James May, because he's a blithering idiot, 6,000 RPM.
00:49:02The idiot's car had also drained its tank.
00:49:06So, while he was filling up, I set up another of my clever demonstrations.
00:49:14Gentlemen, observe.
00:49:15You can buy very expensive sunglasses.
00:49:18These ones are made from real gold.
00:49:20Or you can buy very cheap sunglasses.
00:49:23But what do we all do?
00:49:24We all have Ray-Bans.
00:49:28You do know you're just being irritated, don't you?
00:49:32All you've actually told us about your car is something to do with underpants, iguanas and sunglasses.
00:49:37I'm just saying.
00:49:38Well, don't.
00:49:41Back on the move, we continue to follow James on our journey to the Nürburgring.
00:49:47But after a while, I started to worry.
00:49:53Where's he going?
00:49:55Why have we turned off the motorway?
00:49:57Das Ziel liegt an einer durchfahrtsbeschränkten Straße.
00:50:01Sie haben das Ziel erreicht.
00:50:04James.
00:50:05What?
00:50:07Well, I'm going to get straight to the point.
00:50:10This is not the Nürburgring.
00:50:14It's Nuremberg.
00:50:21Well, yes, but look.
00:50:23There's no art well about it.
00:50:24No, the thing is, I can't actually speak German.
00:50:26I can only say the bit about Hans being wet because he's standing under a waterfall.
00:50:29But Nürburgring is the same in English as it is in German.
00:50:33But I did it with voice control in German with my car.
00:50:35It's set to German.
00:50:36And I said Nürburgring and it went blink and I said yes, but it's a similar name.
00:50:40It's not.
00:50:40They don't blame the car.
00:50:41I didn't pronounce it properly.
00:50:43That's like nothing about our names because they both begin with G.
00:50:45Look, let's not get all bogged down with who's been a massive idiot and despite what
00:50:50he claims can't do anything properly.
00:50:53Nothing.
00:50:53Let's instead look for a racetrack near here.
00:50:56Why don't we try and find one?
00:51:02And that is exactly what Hammond did.
00:51:15Where?
00:51:17Well, it's all around you.
00:51:18Look, I've marked it out.
00:51:19Look, it goes around there and up there and along there and then down there and around there.
00:51:24It's not really a track, is it?
00:51:26No, it's better.
00:51:27It's rallying.
00:51:28This will be the first ever Nuremberg rally.
00:51:31Well, not the absolute first ever.
00:51:35He's right.
00:51:37Do you imagine if we did motorcycling around here, it would be the first ever Nuremberg trials?
00:51:43We can give it a go.
00:51:44Let's not run before we can walk, eh?
00:51:48Since Hammond's course featured twisting bends, loose surfaces, shear drops and piles of enormous
00:51:56rocks everywhere, some practice laps were in order.
00:52:03Slightly slow there because I go around the dusty one and then this is...
00:52:08I've no idea.
00:52:10Danger.
00:52:12Right.
00:52:12I'll take note of that.
00:52:15Don't want to fall off there.
00:52:18Oh, shit.
00:52:19I really don't want to fall off there.
00:52:21Now, this bit is really scary.
00:52:25Oh, yeah.
00:52:26That's a bit of a trouser changer.
00:52:29Now, this is quite interesting because in normal use, all of the power is sent to the rear wheels
00:52:37in the Jag, but it can then send power, up to 50% of it, to the front wheels.
00:52:44Right, now, this is where I can go very wrong if I'm not careful.
00:52:48Oh, shit.
00:52:50Oh!
00:52:51Oh!
00:52:56Clarkson, meanwhile, had decided he didn't need to have a practice.
00:53:02What are you doing?
00:53:03It's my baked beans demonstration for when Hammond gets back.
00:53:07Because we've got cheap supermarket beans, then expensive...
00:53:11Oh, God.
00:53:11I haven't got time for this.
00:53:13And then in the middle, the Range Rover.
00:53:16Oh!
00:53:20With practice over, Hammond lined up on the beginning line for his time lap.
00:53:26Richard Hammond, begin in three, two, one, go!
00:53:33Here we go.
00:53:37Now, come on, Hammond, to concentrate.
00:53:43Oh, that was beautiful lift-off oversteer.
00:53:51A little bit of a break, and then...
00:53:56Oh, that's too fast there.
00:53:59I just had a win.
00:54:02Right, let's predict what he's saying in there.
00:54:06He'll say the traction control won't be turned off properly.
00:54:11He can't turn the traction control off completely.
00:54:14He'll say, I need power and there isn't any.
00:54:17Come on, I've, where's the power?
00:54:19Give me power, give me power!
00:54:22Now, this one, oh, shit!
00:54:29This is the really fast thing.
00:54:33Come on, baby, come on, that's it, give me power!
00:54:37Going at big speed here.
00:54:39Now, brake early, early, early, early, early.
00:54:43And then turn it in.
00:54:55I'm going to be miles faster than him.
00:54:57Well, you haven't even done any practice.
00:54:58I know, boss.
00:54:59It's honestly not that simple.
00:55:00Yes, it is.
00:55:05Come on!
00:55:09It all she can, that's it, there you go.
00:55:11A little burst and across the line.
00:55:16Five minutes, 56 dead.
00:55:19Is that good?
00:55:20I don't know.
00:55:225.56?
00:55:23Dead.
00:55:24Yes!
00:55:24Or no!
00:55:26Did you see me at that last bit?
00:55:28Well, the traction control just wouldn't let me put the power down there at all.
00:55:30It stopped!
00:55:31Did you see me stop there?
00:55:35Why have you got a stopwatch?
00:55:37It's timing.
00:55:38No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:55:39Look, what date is it?
00:55:40April the 26th.
00:55:42Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:55:43April the 26th.
00:55:44No, better idea.
00:55:45Why don't we just chalk marks on the roof for every day?
00:55:48Every time the sun comes up, okay, another mark.
00:55:50Right.
00:55:51James May.
00:55:52You may begin in three, two, one, now.
00:55:58And May is off for Great Britain and Germany in the Benby.
00:56:03He doesn't like heights.
00:56:05No, he doesn't.
00:56:05He doesn't like speed.
00:56:07Or slippery stuff.
00:56:08So, everything he hates.
00:56:13Despite the hostile environment, I was determined to dig deep for the honour of the Bentley badge.
00:56:23Sliding, sliding, sliding.
00:56:27Yes, tarmac.
00:56:31Did you hear that?
00:56:33That was tyre squeal from James May.
00:56:39From James May.
00:56:42Knock it down, a cog.
00:56:45Oh, my God.
00:56:48Mind me.
00:56:49That wasn't very James May's, was it?
00:56:52They'll find themselves to death.
00:56:55That's the zippy bit.
00:56:58Look at this.
00:57:10Look, he's got air.
00:57:11He's got air.
00:57:12I think he's been committed.
00:57:15Jeremy, what if he beats me?
00:57:17If he beats you?
00:57:18Yeah.
00:57:19You'll die of shame and I'll die laughing.
00:57:21Yeah, okay.
00:57:23Try as he might, though, the old lady was losing time in the corners.
00:57:29The trouble is, it is a two and a half tonne, fairly long car.
00:57:33And you can't change the laws of business.
00:57:38Oh, that's not good.
00:57:42Oh, get it straight, come on.
00:57:47Oh, no, I overdid it.
00:57:55Six minutes, 16.
00:57:57So he was 16, 18 seconds slower than you and his car is 212,000 pounds.
00:58:04Say some more of that stuff.
00:58:05Write it down.
00:58:07Finally, it was the turn of the best car here.
00:58:11Three, two, one, begin!
00:58:17He hasn't done a single practice now.
00:58:22I mean, not one.
00:58:24Attraction control off.
00:58:26That's better.
00:58:28And watch this!
00:58:37While he's driving, what do we think he's been?
00:58:40Modest, self-effacing, quiet.
00:58:42I was going to say, he probably isn't saying anything.
00:58:44He's probably concentrating.
00:58:46Yes!
00:58:49Oh, God, I'm good at everything.
00:58:51However, in order to win this contest, I had no intention of relying only on my supreme skills.
00:59:00See, the thing is, the Jaguar and the Bentley were designed as road cars and then given some off-road
00:59:08ability.
00:59:09Whereas the Range Rover was designed as an off-road car and then given some ability to work on the
00:59:16road.
00:59:16It's only a subtle difference, but it means I don't have to follow the beaten track.
00:59:23I can take shortcuts.
00:59:31Such a clever car, it really is.
00:59:36This car senses what sort of terrain it's driving over and then engages or disengages the differentials accordingly.
00:59:47You could not come up here in the Bentley or the Jaguar.
00:59:54It's quiet, I can't hear it.
00:59:56What's he in at the moment?
00:59:57A pair of pants, a tin of beans, a labrador?
00:59:59Oh, it'll be another stupid...
01:00:01You get ordinary ones and mine's just the best.
01:00:07Range Rover can wade through water nearly a metre deep.
01:00:14Matt, look at it.
01:00:16What a machine you are!
01:00:19Now we just pop back up the hill.
01:00:22Power!
01:00:23Power now!
01:00:26There he is!
01:00:27Hey, no, hang on a minute.
01:00:29There he is, he's there, look.
01:00:29No, but what?
01:00:33And across the line.
01:00:37He's almost two minutes quicker than you were.
01:00:40That's not possible.
01:00:45How did you do that?
01:00:47What?
01:00:48That.
01:00:48A, your car's all wet, which it shouldn't be, and you're almost two minutes faster than Hammond.
01:00:53Yes, but you see, the thing is, you can buy a cheap car, like a Jaguar, or you can buy
01:00:59an expensive car, like a Ben...
01:01:08A total waste of time, that whole film, total waste of time, range over two minutes faster.
01:01:13You're cheeky, simple as that.
01:01:15Anyway, look, let's just, if we can just put the bickering aside for one moment, I have to say, that
01:01:20little Jag was, and it really was, brilliant.
01:01:22And it was designed by a local boy, Ian Callum, born in Dumfries.
01:01:27He didn't just do that.
01:01:28He also styled the Aston Martin DB7, the DB9, the Vanquist, the Ford Puma, the Escort Colesworth.
01:01:35Yeah, he's British.
01:01:36Basically.
01:01:37Well, pretty nice.
01:01:38He is.
01:01:39He is.
01:01:40Anyway, sadly, his new car isn't as good as a Range Rover.
01:01:43Don't argue, it isn't.
01:01:45And on that terrible disappointment for him, it's time to end.
01:01:49Thank you so much for watching.
01:01:50Thank you all so much for coming.
01:01:53We'll see you next time.
01:01:54Goodbye.
01:02:20Goodbye.
01:02:22Goodbye.
01:02:26Goodbye.
01:02:27Goodbye.
01:02:28Goodbye.
01:02:30Goodbye.
01:02:32Goodbye.
01:02:32Goodbye.
01:02:32Goodbye.
01:02:33Goodbye.
01:02:34Goodbye.
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