#TheGrandTour #OneForTheRoad #ClarksonHammondMay #FinalLap #ZimbabweSpecial
After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.
#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory
After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.
#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory
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MotorTranscript
00:00:08To be continued...
00:01:16Danke.
00:01:18Und willkommen in the Große Tor, which this week comes from Germany.
00:01:27Specifically, we are in the city of Stuttgart, except we nearly weren't because one of your
00:01:36local green politicians tried to ban us from coming here.
00:01:40Now, I don't want to embarrass the poor man on television, so I've hidden his identity.
00:01:55I certainly don't want to tell you his name, which is Andreas Kasdorf.
00:02:05I'm not a popular man, but you elected him.
00:02:08Anyway, he says that we'd be unwelcome here because this is a very bicycle-friendly place.
00:02:15It isn't.
00:02:17It's the home of Mercedes and Porsche.
00:02:26Germany is the cradle of the automobile.
00:02:29The car was actually invented here.
00:02:32It's the last place on earth you can drive a car as fast as it will go on the motorway.
00:02:43The Germans are the only people on earth who really know how to make a car.
00:02:49This is a true fact.
00:02:51That is true.
00:02:54I'll tell you a story.
00:02:55There was a Mercedes engineer and a Jaguar engineer having dinner one night.
00:03:00And the Mercedes engineer said,
00:03:01We have, forgive the accent,
00:03:04We have a quality test at the Mercedes factory.
00:03:07Every night we take a car off the line at random.
00:03:10We put a cat in it.
00:03:13Close the doors.
00:03:14If when we come back in the morning,
00:03:16we know the door seals are working correctly,
00:03:19if the cat has suffocated.
00:03:23It isn't just cars that are built well here.
00:03:24Now the Jaguar engineer said,
00:03:27Yeah, we've got something very similar at our factory.
00:03:30We take a car off the line at random.
00:03:32We put a cat in it.
00:03:34We close the door.
00:03:35And we know the car's been built properly.
00:03:37If when we come back in the morning,
00:03:38the cat hasn't escaped.
00:03:41That is true story.
00:03:44Yeah.
00:03:44True story.
00:03:46The strange thing is,
00:03:47it isn't just cars that are built well here.
00:03:49It's absolutely everything.
00:03:51Except wine.
00:03:53Yeah, except wine.
00:03:53Except for wine.
00:03:55Well, come on.
00:03:56Oh, now, come on.
00:03:57You drink that stuff?
00:03:59Yeah.
00:04:00I wouldn't wash my hair in it.
00:04:02Are you sure?
00:04:03No, it is literally everything though.
00:04:05I mean, German soft toys,
00:04:06better than anybody else's soft toys.
00:04:08Cameras, kitchen appliances.
00:04:11The Queen of England, she's German.
00:04:13She is.
00:04:14That's why she's still working
00:04:15even though she's 147 years old.
00:04:18There is no word here for that'll do.
00:04:21There is no ambiguity at all in Germany.
00:04:24You certainly see this with films, okay?
00:04:27The names you have for American films.
00:04:29I've got some here.
00:04:31Okay, you remember Airplane?
00:04:32Airplane, yeah.
00:04:33Airplane, yes.
00:04:34In Germany, it was called
00:04:35The Unbelievable Journey in a Crazy Airplane.
00:04:39That is a comprehensive title, isn't it?
00:04:42You know where you are, aren't you?
00:04:43Yeah.
00:04:43What was Jaws?
00:04:46The what?
00:04:47The what?
00:04:47The Vicer?
00:04:48The White Shark.
00:04:49It should have been
00:04:50the massive shark that explodes eventually.
00:04:53It would have gone.
00:04:54You know where you're going with that.
00:04:56What was, um...
00:04:57What was Basic Instinct?
00:05:00Just not a brief glimpse of Sharon Stone's vagina.
00:05:03Yes, great.
00:05:04Shall we get on with the show?
00:05:04Yes, good idea.
00:05:06Because in tonight's car programme...
00:05:10Richard walks a dog.
00:05:13James hangs around a gym.
00:05:17And I say good shot.
00:05:19Good shot?
00:05:21But before all that,
00:05:22I'd like to talk about the original Honda NSX.
00:05:25We have a picture of it here.
00:05:27Now, when that car was launched in 1990,
00:05:29it was considered remarkable
00:05:31because it was fast and it was exciting like a Ferrari,
00:05:34but unlike a Ferrari of the time,
00:05:37it was also incredibly reliable
00:05:39and very, very easy to drive.
00:05:41Now, Honda killed that car off 12 years ago,
00:05:44but finally,
00:05:44they've come up with a replacement.
00:05:46So I've been down to our track
00:05:48to see what it's like.
00:05:52This is it.
00:05:55It costs £138,000,
00:05:59around the same as a Porsche 911 Turbo S.
00:06:03And it has the futuristic lines you would expect
00:06:06of a rare breed Honda.
00:06:09Power comes from a 3.5 litre twin turbo V6,
00:06:14backed up by a squadron of electric motors.
00:06:18Together, they give the NSX 573 horsepower.
00:06:25So you would assume the performance is something to shout about.
00:06:30Now, if you ask Honda for the technical information on this car,
00:06:34they will email you a file so enormous
00:06:37that it actually breaks the internet.
00:06:39And yet, nowhere in it does it mention the 0-60 time.
00:06:43They simply refuse to tell us what it is.
00:06:45And I know 0-60 times are irrelevant in the real world
00:06:49and they're rather childish,
00:06:50but look, this is a supercar.
00:06:51It's top trumps, isn't it?
00:06:53It's important.
00:06:54So I'm going to find out what it is for you using this.
00:06:57It is a data-o-logger.
00:07:03Right, put it in track mode.
00:07:06Here we go, launch control.
00:07:08Full on the brake, mash the pedal.
00:07:23I'm not sure that was quite as neck-snapping as a Nissan GT-R,
00:07:26but it wasn't far off.
00:07:28Let's see what I did.
00:07:323.2 seconds 0-60,
00:07:36which means it isn't quite as fast as a McLaren 570S
00:07:42or a 911 Turbo S or a Ferrari 488 GTB.
00:07:48That's why they're not mentioning it.
00:07:51Honda is happy to quote the top speed,
00:07:54which is 191 miles an hour.
00:07:58But that, too, is slower than its rivals
00:08:00from Ferrari, Porsche and McLaren.
00:08:07So, has the new NSX got anything
00:08:10in the performance department
00:08:11that makes it rise above its supercar peers?
00:08:17Well, yes, actually.
00:08:19Firstly, there are the brakes, which are fly-by-wire.
00:08:22There is no physical connection to the pedal.
00:08:24And that's because they have to harvest energy
00:08:26to recharge the battery system.
00:08:28It's a much cleverer version of that
00:08:30than you get on the Porsche 918,
00:08:32a car that costs five times as much.
00:08:34And then there's the hybrid system.
00:08:36It uses not one electric motor, as you might expect,
00:08:39but three.
00:08:40And the way it uses them is well good.
00:08:47The one at the back is the wingman for the petrol engine,
00:08:51filling the power gaps when the turbos lag.
00:08:54This gives the NSX ballistic pickup at any speed.
00:09:02Look, instant shock.
00:09:04It's lovely.
00:09:12But actually, it's the two at the front
00:09:14that are the real party piece,
00:09:15because they drive a wheel each
00:09:18totally independently of each other,
00:09:20which means this car has a sort of space-age four-wheel drive.
00:09:26And that means extraordinary things happen
00:09:29when you throw it into a corner.
00:09:38So as you approach a corner like this one,
00:09:40computers are measuring the speed,
00:09:42they're measuring G-force,
00:09:44steering input and so forth.
00:09:46They're adding power to the wheel
00:09:47or taking power away from the wheel as it's needed.
00:09:51And there you get,
00:09:52perfectly flat, perfectly controlled corner.
00:09:56It is a bit like driving a Honda Civic.
00:10:00There are people who would say that technology like this
00:10:04in a car helping it to feel secure will make it dull.
00:10:07But it doesn't feel dull to me.
00:10:08It feels tremendous.
00:10:11I'm going fast and I'm relaxing.
00:10:14But what's wrong with that?
00:10:19But the futuristic four-wheel drive
00:10:21isn't the only piece of 23rd century engineering on the NSX.
00:10:25The aerodynamics, for example, are so clever
00:10:29they can cool all the motors
00:10:31while providing vast amounts of grip-enhancing downforce
00:10:35to the front and rear wheels.
00:10:39And it does all this
00:10:41without anything as old-fashioned
00:10:43as huge wings and spoilers.
00:10:58It's not just the technology, which is brilliant.
00:11:01It's that that technology is on this car.
00:11:04Yes, we have hybrid supercars.
00:11:06We have the LaFerrari.
00:11:07We have McLaren P1, the Porsche 918.
00:11:09But they're in the million pound bracket.
00:11:11This is only an eighth of the price of the LaFerrari.
00:11:15And it's actually cleverer.
00:11:19I love this.
00:11:20I love the way it looks.
00:11:21I love the sounds it makes.
00:11:23I like the sophistication of the hybrid drive.
00:11:26I like the performance.
00:11:27I like the steering feel.
00:11:28I like the interior.
00:11:30I really, really like it.
00:11:31And I find myself wanting one quite badly.
00:11:38The original NSX made owning a supercar less painful
00:11:42and less expensive.
00:11:44This has done the same for the hybrid supercar.
00:11:49It really is a worthy successor.
00:12:07Honda took ten years to develop that car.
00:12:12And?
00:12:12Well, ten years is an enormous amount of time to do a car.
00:12:16Well, you can't criticise something because people spent too long on it.
00:12:19People aren't going to say,
00:12:20I'm not going to go and look around Cologne Cathedral.
00:12:22They took 600 years to build it.
00:12:26Anyway, I love it.
00:12:27I love that car.
00:12:28Anyway, look.
00:12:29We've heard what you've got to say about the NSX
00:12:31and now it's time to hand it over to a man who thinks that,
00:12:35well, potted plants are a communist plot.
00:12:38Yeah, here he comes.
00:12:39It's the American.
00:12:44Come to England.
00:12:46Shit weather.
00:12:47Shit beer.
00:12:49And he's off.
00:12:51Clearly in a tremendous mood.
00:12:54But it is very wet out there.
00:12:56The wiper's clapping away as he patters onto the isn't straight.
00:13:01Looking good.
00:13:02Where I come from, this thing's badged and accurate.
00:13:06Kind of like a loser's Cadillac.
00:13:08And yet, strangely, we're still waiting for Cadillac's hybrid supercar.
00:13:13Right, now, flying into your name here,
00:13:15this really is a good day to have four-wheel drive.
00:13:18I'm sure even the American can appreciate the Honda's high-tech features.
00:13:23What is this space invader shit?
00:13:26Clearly not.
00:13:27Going full power for the isn't again.
00:13:31Electric ain't for engines, it's for lights and chairs.
00:13:34He is not a modern man, is he?
00:13:37Right, carving through the standing water,
00:13:39into old lady's house,
00:13:41slithering about a bit,
00:13:43and now he's leaning on it for the unsettled section,
00:13:47past the hangers and up to substation.
00:13:50Hard on those Wi-Fi brakes for the second-to-last corner.
00:13:53How's he gonna manage through here?
00:13:56Yeah, stepping out a bit under power,
00:13:59through field to sheet, keeping it tidy through there and across the line.
00:14:11Right!
00:14:14Let's see now where the NSX goes on our lapboard.
00:14:18Let's have a look.
00:14:23Oh, dear James!
00:14:25No!
00:14:27Why do we...
00:14:29James!
00:14:33Why didn't you tell us it was very slow?
00:14:36It's streaming wet.
00:14:38So, hang on a minute,
00:14:39we've had a review from a tortoise,
00:14:41and a wet lap,
00:14:42which means we've learnt precisely nothing.
00:14:46Yeah, you're right, nothing at all.
00:14:48Nothing at all.
00:14:48Nothing at all.
00:14:49So let's move on, shall we?
00:14:50Yes, let's do that.
00:14:50Let's do that by popping some loose change in the ticket machine,
00:14:54so we can park a while on Conversation Street.
00:15:07I've got some conversation.
00:15:09Good, good.
00:15:09Last night at midnight, there was an alarm in Stuttgart.
00:15:14The Green Party that runs the city asked really everyone here
00:15:18not to use wood-burning stoves and not to drive their car today.
00:15:23Why?
00:15:24Because of the smog.
00:15:30Am I making this up?
00:15:33Am I making this up?
00:15:34There it is.
00:15:39I can't...
00:15:41I can't imagine anything clear.
00:15:44That is...
00:15:44That is dim clear,
00:15:46but according to the Green Party,
00:15:47I'm not making this up.
00:15:48You're all from Stuttgart, yes?
00:15:50Yes.
00:15:50There is an alarm today...
00:15:51Yes.
00:15:52...because of the smog.
00:15:53Yes.
00:15:55Very well.
00:15:56How clear is it on a good day?
00:15:58I know.
00:15:59Can I...
00:16:00I've just...
00:16:00We've got a photograph here of Beijing on...
00:16:02Now...
00:16:03Let us compare and contrast
00:16:05Beijing on a smoggy day with Stuttgart on a...
00:16:09Not the same, is it?
00:16:10The smoggy day.
00:16:11Now, can I just ask,
00:16:12what would you have done
00:16:13if they'd have actually ordered you not to drive cars?
00:16:16You know, at the moment it's an advisory.
00:16:17If they'd said you are banned from driving cars,
00:16:19what would you have done?
00:16:22Come on the train?
00:16:23That's unbelievable.
00:16:25This is the thing that we don't really understand about Germany.
00:16:27Once something becomes a rule,
00:16:28it is a rule.
00:16:30In fact, I once had this...
00:16:31I once had a very interesting conversation with two friends of mine.
00:16:33One is from California and one is from Germany,
00:16:35and we were talking about losing your driving licence,
00:16:38and the Californian said,
00:16:40in Germany, what would happen if you lost your licence
00:16:42and then you, you know, drove your car?
00:16:44And the German said, no, you cannot do this.
00:16:48And he says, yeah, I know, but what if, you know,
00:16:50I know you're not supposed to, but what if you did?
00:16:52He says, no, you cannot drive, you have no licence.
00:16:56And the Californian went, yeah, ma'am, but, you know,
00:16:58late one night, you just, hell, you go for a drive.
00:17:01And the gentleman went, it is impossible to drive without a licence!
00:17:05Impossible!
00:17:12Actually, there's an interesting thing I discovered here.
00:17:14On a motorway, okay, obviously you can drive as fast as you like here,
00:17:18and you get people sometimes, not often,
00:17:20because your lane discipline is unbelievable,
00:17:22but sometimes they sit in the outside lane just dawdling.
00:17:25If you tailgate them, okay, now I've got the fines here,
00:17:29you get a 400 euro fine, two penalty points,
00:17:33and a three-month ban for tailgating.
00:17:36That is extreme.
00:17:37Yes?
00:17:37Ouch.
00:17:38Right, but if you overtake them on the inside,
00:17:40just go past them on the inside,
00:17:41that's a 150 euro fine and one point.
00:17:44Oh, my God.
00:17:45No.
00:17:46Damn.
00:17:46No.
00:17:46This is where it gets really good.
00:17:48If you go on the hard shoulder to overtake them,
00:17:50the emergency lane, okay, that's also one point,
00:17:54but only 90 euro fine.
00:17:56There's your answer.
00:17:57That's what you do.
00:17:59No.
00:18:00No.
00:18:04No.
00:18:04No, because...
00:18:05Aha!
00:18:06You may think that,
00:18:07but if you fit your car with blue lights,
00:18:10flashing blue lights,
00:18:11basically you turn your car into a police car,
00:18:13you get,
00:18:15we've got the points for fines here,
00:18:1720 euro fine and no points at all.
00:18:19What?
00:18:20You're joking.
00:18:21Blue lights.
00:18:23No, you've got to understand.
00:18:26That is...
00:18:26That's true.
00:18:28That is very strange to our ears,
00:18:30because if you tried that at home in the UK,
00:18:33you would be charged with impersonating a police officer
00:18:35and you would never get out of prison, ever.
00:18:38No, I mean,
00:18:39people say Germans have no sense of humour.
00:18:41If you want to know what no sense of humour is,
00:18:43impersonate a policeman in Britain,
00:18:45then you'll know what no sense of humour is.
00:18:48Right, that is the end of Conversationstrasse.
00:18:55You all like the idea of a sports utility vehicle,
00:18:58a car that can handle the Australian outback at a weekend,
00:19:01and then set a new lap record at Hockenheim on a Monday morning.
00:19:06But even the German car makers can't seem to make the concept work.
00:19:10I mean, we've got this from Audi, the RS Q3, which is a dismal car.
00:19:15BMW have the X4, I think that's called.
00:19:17Don't want one of those either.
00:19:18Mercedes have this horrible monster.
00:19:21Certainly a car...
00:19:22They're all just rubbish.
00:19:23And let me guess, you have a solution.
00:19:26Yes, I do.
00:19:27Oh, God.
00:19:27Yes, I do.
00:19:28A car that is both sporty and utilitarian.
00:19:32This'll be good.
00:19:34Ye of little faith, watch this.
00:19:40This is a Land Rover Discovery
00:19:42doing utilitarian things in Britain's muddy underbelly.
00:19:49And obviously, a machine like this
00:19:52cannot possibly be converted into a sports car.
00:19:59Or can it?
00:20:03First of all, we have to remove this rather ungainly body.
00:20:08Now, you can't do that with a modern car,
00:20:10because the body is the chassis, it's the skeleton.
00:20:12If you take it away, you're left with nothing more
00:20:15than a collection of unjoined-up parts.
00:20:18However, you can remove the body on an old discovery like this,
00:20:22using nothing more than one of these.
00:20:31After just 40 minutes with no help from anyone else,
00:20:35I ended up with this.
00:20:44Obviously, it's still utilitarian.
00:20:47It'll still wade through rivers and throw its way up muddy banks.
00:20:52But now there's a sporty flavour as well.
00:20:58Without the heavy body, it feels nimble, agile, light.
00:21:07If it weren't for the fact that the windscreen is now very close to my face,
00:21:11it would feel like a Lamborghini Gallardo.
00:21:17The only real problem with this is that Britain is a police state,
00:21:22and if I took this on the public road,
00:21:24I'd be stopped immediately by the constabulary,
00:21:28who would point out that I was contributing about 4,870 different laws.
00:21:38It's not warm either.
00:21:41Oh, no! That's stupid!
00:21:43Happily, both these problems would be solved
00:21:46when I fitted it with the body from a sports car.
00:21:52And this is the sports car I've gone for.
00:21:57A 1978 MGB.
00:22:04Highly trained men are now removing its skin,
00:22:07which will then be mated in a delicate two-hour operation
00:22:13to the internal organs of the mud-plugging V8.
00:22:19The following morning, my incredible car was ready.
00:22:34It is incredible that in a shed I have created something which has
00:22:40eluded the combined might of the motor industry.
00:22:45It is a proper sports utility vehicle.
00:22:50I call it the MGD, and now I'm going to find out how well it works on the road.
00:23:06This is magnificent.
00:23:12And it is quick. Oh, yeah!
00:23:18To demonstrate just how quick I'm going to do a drag race against the motor industry's idea of an SUV.
00:23:33A little bit of play there.
00:23:35A little bit of play there.
00:23:55And finally is the V8 MGD!
00:23:59Come on, Pride and Britain!
00:24:09Oh, God. The brakes don't work.
00:24:17With the performance box ticked, I continue my testing.
00:24:21In many ways, the MGD puts me in mind of an Audi R8 Spyder.
00:24:29I mean, OK, in the Audi, the dials would work, and the switches,
00:24:34and the brakes, and the steering, and it's a bit less bouncy,
00:24:39but both of them are four-wheel drive, two-seater, drop-head V8.
00:24:47There is, however, one very big difference between the two cars.
00:24:51You can't do this in an Audi.
00:25:00Oh, yes, yes.
00:25:04Moments ago, I was airing round a handling track,
00:25:08and now, look.
00:25:12Brilliant!
00:25:16Oh, no, not now, you bastard.
00:25:20I mean, you wonderful thing.
00:25:23It's a... choke.
00:25:25Yeah, that...
00:25:29It's on its shutdown thing.
00:25:31It's just to save fuel.
00:25:33It goes on two cylinders sometimes.
00:25:37Once the engine management thingy had run its diagnostic programme,
00:25:42oh, he was back on the move.
00:25:44Here we go.
00:25:49Yes!
00:25:51Mighty four-wheel drive system hauling me up there.
00:25:55What the hell?
00:25:58Ah, ah, ah!
00:26:00Stopping, stopping.
00:26:05Oh, Lord.
00:26:06That is not right, is it?
00:26:17As I got going for the second time, I realised I'd been a bit of a chump.
00:26:22The mistake I've made, of course, is that I've introduced you to this car
00:26:26before I've really tested it.
00:26:28That's not what car makers do.
00:26:30They test the car and then show it to the press and the public.
00:26:35I'm doing that the other way round.
00:26:37I'm introducing this to you before I've done the testing, and...
00:26:45Oh, for Christ's sake.
00:26:51You little beauty.
00:27:01I think the issue is, really, you're watching my workings out here.
00:27:09What you really want to see is the finished product.
00:27:11That's what I should have done.
00:27:13Oh, for Christ's sake.
00:27:18Right.
00:27:20At this point, I decided, for no particular reason, to scrap the MG idea.
00:27:26And go for something else instead.
00:27:32This is what I chose.
00:27:34A 1980s Mercedes SL.
00:27:37Partly because it's the very essence of quiet, urban restraint, taste and elegance.
00:27:43It's a car that was driven by Bobby Ewing in Dallas.
00:27:48Mostly, though, I chose it because it would fit more snugly on the Discovery chassis.
00:27:57This time, the men worked tirelessly for nearly a whole day to marry the two cars.
00:28:02And the result was spectacular.
00:28:09It's a car I have justifiably called the excellent.
00:28:15The internal auger of the Mercedes SL.
00:28:18To create a vision of pure...
00:28:22What's the word?
00:28:23Rubbish.
00:28:24It's not rubbish.
00:28:26It's not rubbish.
00:28:26Did you paint it with a brush or a bucket?
00:28:29It's got those headlights that swivel when you go around the bend, look, so that they point at the road.
00:28:33Okay.
00:28:34Let me ask you this.
00:28:35Which would you rather have?
00:28:36The excellent or that Porsche?
00:28:39That Porsche.
00:28:40Why?
00:28:41Because it's better in every single way.
00:28:44To prove my cynical colleagues wrong, I invited them to go for a drive.
00:28:51Oh, kind.
00:28:52You see?
00:28:53It's an optional extra for the shorter gentleman.
00:28:55You're comfy, Hammond.
00:28:56No.
00:28:58Is this as in as I can get?
00:29:00Yeah.
00:29:02Right.
00:29:03Listen to this.
00:29:06Oh, no, it moves!
00:29:12We've only gone a few miles before Richard and James completely changed their minds
00:29:17and realised that the X-Loop was the best car they'd ever been in.
00:29:22No, we haven't. Stop saying things in voiceover that aren't true.
00:29:26Is it not? I thought you'd change your minds.
00:29:27No.
00:29:27Maybe a bit.
00:29:28It's worse than I thought.
00:29:30Can I put the heater on?
00:29:31That's not connected.
00:29:32Is it not?
00:29:33No.
00:29:33What's that dial down there but left of the steering wheel?
00:29:36Speedometer.
00:29:36Why have you got that one, not that one?
00:29:38That doesn't work.
00:29:39Has it got a fuel gauge?
00:29:41Not as such.
00:29:42Has it got a temperature gauge?
00:29:43Not really.
00:29:44There's a lot of wires hanging out of the dash that aren't connected to things.
00:29:47You haven't given it an interior.
00:29:53I can see the road.
00:29:55I can as well.
00:29:55No, there's a hole in the floor.
00:29:59While Hammond and May had one or two minor issues, they both agreed that if I were to put my
00:30:04car into production, it would make me a fortune.
00:30:08No, we didn't agree to that either.
00:30:10Look, I've done the maths, honestly. The Discovery was £2,500, Mercedes £4,500, £7,000 for the work. That's
00:30:18£14,000.
00:30:20I could sell this for £120,000.
00:30:22No, you couldn't.
00:30:23Yes, I couldn't.
00:30:24A Cayenne Turbo is £120,000.
00:30:26A Cayenne Turbo is a proper car built by Porsche.
00:30:30This is two scrap cars glued together by a Muppet.
00:30:33It isn't designed for people like you.
00:30:36What?
00:30:36People with eyes. People who can dress themselves in the morning.
00:30:40I'll tell you exactly who will buy this car.
00:30:43People who use roundy-ended scissors.
00:30:46Footballers.
00:30:47Only ones.
00:30:48Footballers like Ferraris.
00:30:49Yeah, and Bentleys and Range Rovers and Aston Martins.
00:30:52Not this thing.
00:30:59To prove them wrong, again, I decided to head for the nearby Chelsea training ground.
00:31:06These are people who understand cars, not like you two.
00:31:10Yeah, they understand cars. That's why they buy Range Rover Sports and Aston Martins.
00:31:14Mm.
00:31:14They buy those things because they didn't know that you could do this.
00:31:18I like my car.
00:31:19It's shit.
00:31:26They're flocking to it, aren't they?
00:31:28Do you just watch?
00:31:29Do you mind if I go and stand next to something else?
00:31:33Soon, some players arrived, which gave Richard and James a chance to show off their footballing knowledge.
00:31:40You're really tall. You should play in golf.
00:31:42Yeah, I do. I play in golf.
00:31:43I know that, yeah.
00:31:45So what part of Chelsea are you from?
00:31:47I'm from Basel.
00:31:49Oh.
00:31:50How do you know they're footballers?
00:31:52Well, do you not recognize them?
00:31:54Well, they're in football.
00:31:55They don't even recognize you.
00:31:57Where's, um, where's Alex Ferguson? Why don't we ask him?
00:32:01At this point, I dismissed my ignorant colleagues so that I could operate the subtitle machine.
00:32:07Well, first of all, in London, it's cold.
00:32:11So, it's not good.
00:32:15No, it's not very comfortable.
00:32:17Look, I can't see. I can't see.
00:32:20Can you keep me happy?
00:32:21Yeah.
00:32:23Take a chance to me.
00:32:26No, that's ridiculous, because what are you supposed to do with that?
00:32:29I think this is flippin' horrific.
00:32:34See, you've butchered a classic car.
00:32:37Right, watch this.
00:32:38Little toss.
00:32:41No.
00:32:42There's no comfort.
00:32:44No.
00:32:45The mine is better.
00:32:46The mine is better.
00:32:46Yeah.
00:32:48Just...
00:32:49Be careful not to break things here.
00:32:52There's a cat here, right?
00:32:55No, it's nice.
00:32:56The engine is good.
00:33:00Oh!
00:33:01Saved!
00:33:02Yes, if you want, I do it like that.
00:33:04I start it.
00:33:04I take a seat and remove it.
00:33:08Having established that all top professional footballers loved my car, we got back on the boat.
00:33:17So, did you get any orders?
00:33:19Do you know, I noticed that the car park was still full of Mercedes G-Class when we left.
00:33:22I saw them.
00:33:23Yeah.
00:33:23Listen, I could put this into an auction, one of those posh, that market was, and it would sell for
00:33:30£120,000.
00:33:31They would not!
00:33:33They would not!
00:33:34To prove them wrong again...
00:33:50Gentlemen.
00:33:51Yes.
00:33:51People are examining bags.
00:33:54Yes, they're the organisers.
00:33:55They're the organisers.
00:33:55They're wondering...
00:33:57I'll pick.
00:33:59Handcrafted by a renowned British atelier.
00:34:02Sympathetically marries the chassis and the esteem.
00:34:05Yes.
00:34:06Did you ride it?
00:34:07You hammered that bit onto that bit.
00:34:09The interior would benefit from some minor attention.
00:34:13Well, yes.
00:34:14With a hand grenade.
00:34:15Lot number 132.
00:34:16Soon the auction was underway.
00:34:18Ferrari 308 GTB at £118,000.
00:34:23Lot number 127.
00:34:25Start me with this at £300,000.
00:34:28And many of the punters were happy to pay six-figure sums for the cars on offer.
00:34:33At £270,000.
00:34:36£285,000 for the Countach.
00:34:38The Countach just went for £285,000.
00:34:43I think I want to sell the excellent for all of them.
00:34:46And then it was time.
00:34:48Moving on to lot number 138A.
00:34:52The excellent, fantastic, handcrafted, very unusual machine, as you can see.
00:34:58I don't want you with it.
00:34:59A beautiful, stylish Mercedes-Benz coachwork.
00:35:02Again, very unusual, unique...
00:35:04Unusual?
00:35:05I don't want you.
00:35:06I don't want you.
00:35:08Start me, if you will, on this at £425,000.
00:35:13At £425,000.
00:35:15Any advance at £400,000?
00:35:17£500,000.
00:35:18£550,000 anywhere.
00:35:19£550,000 here.
00:35:20£650,000 here.
00:35:21£650,000.
00:35:22£650,000.
00:35:23£700,000 now.
00:35:24£650,000.
00:35:25£700,000 anywhere.
00:35:25£700,000 here.
00:35:27£700,000.
00:35:27£800,000 now.
00:35:29Let's go for £1,000.
00:35:36Let's get going.
00:35:37Come on, let's sell this car.
00:35:40£1,000 here on my right.
00:35:42Are you bidding?
00:35:43£1,500.
00:35:44£1,500 here.
00:35:45£2,000 if you wish.
00:35:47It's £2,000.
00:35:47And £5,000.
00:35:48£2,500.
00:35:49£3,000 now.
00:35:50It's £3,000 here.
00:35:51£3,500 anywhere.
00:35:53£3,500.
00:35:55£3,100.
00:35:56£3,200.
00:35:59£3,500.
00:36:00£3,500.
00:36:01£3,500.
00:36:02£3,500.
00:36:02£4,000.
00:36:03£4,000.
00:36:05£4,000.
00:36:06£4,000.
00:36:07£4,000 any more.
00:36:12£4,000.
00:36:13£4,000.
00:36:13Come and see us on.
00:36:15Thank you very much.
00:36:16You just lost £10,000.
00:36:17You could've just thrown it down the bathroom.
00:36:19The camera marked to start me on this ad if you will.
00:36:21£30,000 anywhere.
00:36:23£30,000.
00:36:23£20,000 then.
00:36:24Let's get going.
00:36:25£20,000.
00:36:33Hold on.
00:36:36You were bidding on your own car.
00:36:39Well, a bit.
00:36:40I just wanted to get, you know, the ball rolling.
00:36:43But even then it didn't work because you only sold it for £4,000.
00:36:45It cost you £14,000 to make, so you cost our production company £10,000.
00:36:51No.
00:36:51No.
00:36:52Not true.
00:36:52I put a reserve on it.
00:36:54What reserve?
00:36:55£100,000.
00:36:57£100,000?
00:36:58Yes.
00:36:59So it didn't sell at all, which means you cost us £14,000.
00:37:02Well, yes, but we've ended up with the excellent.
00:37:06No.
00:37:07We're stuck with the excellent.
00:37:10It's really difficult to know working with you.
00:37:12Things like this.
00:37:13Is it ambition or are you a lunatic?
00:37:17Sadly, there isn't time to answer that question because it's time to play Celebrity Brain Crash.
00:37:31Oh, wow.
00:37:32Our guest this week is a local girl who is responsible for one of my all-time favourite pop songs.
00:37:3999 Red Balloons.
00:37:41She is a singer.
00:37:43She's an armpit hair enthusiast.
00:37:45And she's an all-around good sport.
00:37:48Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Nayla!
00:37:57All right, thanks.
00:38:10Where is she?
00:38:11I have no idea.
00:38:12Um.
00:38:14Oh.
00:38:15Oh, wait, it's...
00:38:16Oh no.
00:38:17It's hard to see through the smog, but yes, that is...
00:38:21Oh no.
00:38:23So, what's happened here is, Naina, yes, she's been carried away by 99 red balloons.
00:38:31No. Bad.
00:38:40Does that mean she's not coming on, then?
00:38:42Well, James, she's floated up into the stratosphere, her eyelids have frozen over and her lungs are inside out.
00:38:48So, that is a no.
00:38:50It's okay, though, we anticipated that Naina may float away and we have a backup plan, we'll activate it.
00:38:56Activate it.
00:38:57You sit down.
00:38:57Moving on.
00:38:58The thing is, that more and more stuff these days is being powered by rechargeable batteries, you know, phones, laptops,
00:39:05that sort of thing.
00:39:06And this is giving the world a bit of a problem.
00:39:09Because, in Britain, our power companies only produce 5% more power than we need.
00:39:16We're only just coping.
00:39:18Well, it's actually worse in the United States because they produce 16% less than they actually need.
00:39:24Which means they actually have to import electricity.
00:39:27So, what is going to happen as more and more people are buying and using electric cars?
00:39:32We're going to need more power, we may not be able to cope.
00:39:34Now, you see, the solution, you may think, is to build more power stations.
00:39:38But if you even suggest that, weird-beard environmentalists run around waving their arms in the air going,
00:39:43Oh, what about the polar bear and the bats and the newt?
00:39:45Anyway, the point is, we are going to need more and more power to charge the batteries in our phones,
00:39:50laptops and cars.
00:39:52Where are we going to get it from?
00:39:53Yeah, well, this got us thinking. How much electricity could we possibly generate every day just during our normal lives?
00:40:00And what if we could harness it in some way?
00:40:06This is an office block in the centre of London.
00:40:10Like many office blocks, it has a revolving door, which spins constantly as people come and go.
00:40:18So, why not simply connect that door to a generator and turn all that spinning into electricity?
00:40:26And it's not just revolving doors either.
00:40:31Many of us have dogs, and every day we take those dogs for a walk.
00:40:38The dog scampers hither and thither, running ahead and snouting under hedgerows.
00:40:43So why not attach it to a trailer like this?
00:40:47Dog pulls the trailer along.
00:40:49Inside this wheel is a dynamo that makes electricity, goes along these wires and into this capacitor.
00:40:55And when that dial is reading 100%, I'm charging my phone.
00:40:59So, dog's harnessed. It was easy and attached to the trailer.
00:41:03All I've got to do is set her going.
00:41:05And I've even planned for that.
00:41:06So, here we go.
00:41:08Fetch!
00:41:13Yeah, your favourite.
00:41:18Chase.
00:41:21I think this dog's broken.
00:41:25Meanwhile, back in London, James was charging his phone from a contraption he'd fitted to the revolving door.
00:41:43And even Jeremy had decided to get in on the action.
00:41:48This school sports day, in my mind, is a power station.
00:41:53All we have to do is fit the children with harnesses, and I could have this charged up in no
00:41:59time at all.
00:42:01Here we go.
00:42:03Straight away we can see that charge is being produced, not much, but something.
00:42:10Come on all of you, come on.
00:42:12Put your back into it.
00:42:14Come on, catch him.
00:42:15Catch him.
00:42:16Chop, chop.
00:42:17This is the work of a genius.
00:42:20Back in the countryside, I'd mended my dog, and things were going well here too.
00:42:26As you can see, the dog is now running, the wheels are turning, electricity is being generated.
00:42:32He's basically a four-legged cellar field.
00:42:36Sadly, however, in London, it was the middle of the day, and no one had been using James' door.
00:42:44As a result, his phone was dying, so he'd had to get radical.
00:43:0415%.
00:43:05Nice.
00:43:06Yes.
00:43:09Apart from a couple of hiccups...
00:43:11Go!
00:43:16You have to put a little bit more effort into it than that.
00:43:20Everything was going well.
00:43:22The power was flooding in.
00:43:24Oh, yes.
00:43:2625%.
00:43:27And we were forced to conclude that it had been a successful day for all of us.
00:43:33Well, when I say all of us.
00:43:36Yeah, no.
00:43:37Listen.
00:43:37I can see why you're here.
00:43:41Obviously, fitting children with harnesses, and then videoing them, and they're not my children.
00:43:57I got...
00:43:59I got 45% charge in my phone.
00:44:02I got 41% charge.
00:44:03I got a different sort of charge.
00:44:07Anyway, since we had proved, well, since Hammond and I had proved that it was possible to charge up a
00:44:12telephone, I began to wonder if we could charge up a car using nothing more than vanity.
00:44:22In London alone, there are over 750 gyms, and every day they are full of people picking things up and
00:44:30putting them down again so they can be more attractive.
00:44:35So why not use all this colossal effort?
00:44:38Let's harness it.
00:44:41And that's exactly what we have done.
00:44:44Ten of the machines in this gym have been connected to a device which produces a smooth flow of electricity
00:44:50that's sent outside to this gee whiz in the car park.
00:44:56Right now, the battery is flat, so what I'm going to do is plug it in, and then after eight
00:45:01hours, we'll see how far I can drive on electricity that's been generated in there.
00:45:20One slacking.
00:45:37Right.
00:45:39Unplug from the gin.
00:45:42Let's see how far we go.
00:45:51Now, look at this. This is epic because I'm driving along in a car, sort of.
00:45:57No fossil fuel has been burned, no atoms have been split, nothing's been fracked up.
00:46:10Now, look, there's a man pushing that pushchair.
00:46:13Stick a little dynamo on that.
00:46:16Could get some fresh air, I get some more battery charge.
00:46:24It's difficult to see who loses from this arrangement because I get a trip home, effectively, for nothing.
00:46:29The people going to the gym feel good, look good, they become healthier.
00:46:34The NHS saves money because people are less likely to have strokes and what have you.
00:46:39I mean, if one person in a hundred gets a free gym...
00:46:45Hang on.
00:46:51I was enjoying driving on pedal and cross-trainer power.
00:46:59And with that, I think it's back to the tent.
00:47:08James.
00:47:09Yes.
00:47:09James May.
00:47:10How far did you get after eight hours of charging?
00:47:16Actually, it was better than I expected, you know. I did 21 miles.
00:47:21Yeah, well, hang on, though. To get from our office in London to my home in nearly Wales, that's 130
00:47:27miles, 21 miles at a time.
00:47:29I'd need six stops at gyms, eight hours at a time, and the actual driving.
00:47:32It would take me three days to get home.
00:47:35Or, Hammond, just an idea, you could maybe get a petrol-powered car, put some petrol in it and be
00:47:43home in two hours.
00:47:44That's a better idea. I'm going to do that.
00:47:46Yeah, so there we are. That's the future, and it's made of petrol.
00:47:50So we've addressed that nicely.
00:47:51Yep.
00:47:54Moving, moving on.
00:48:00Now, there are people all over the world who believe we are permanently on the verge of nuclear war, alien
00:48:08invasion, or zombie attack.
00:48:10This isn't a niche thing. There's 120,000 of these people, at least. They call themselves preppers.
00:48:17Moral. Shut up.
00:48:18Idiot.
00:48:19And these preppers, in order to prepare for an extinction-level event, they stock their homes with essential supplies, they
00:48:25go into the woods and practice tactics, and they create what they call bug-out cars.
00:48:30And they're brilliant. Here is one. Look. Look at that! Yeah, I know!
00:48:34No, Hammond, that is not brilliant.
00:48:36No, are you saying we can prepare for a nuclear attack by putting some spikes on the wheels of a
00:48:43Hyundai?
00:48:44Well, it's...
00:48:45Yeah, but what if the nuclear attack comes from the back of the Hyundai?
00:48:49All you're going to do with that car is snag your jumper on it.
00:48:52Oh, don't be so negative. In this show, you have wasted 14,000 of our pounds on your stupid Mercedes
00:48:58car. You have wasted all of our time with your sweat-powered electric car. This is my thing. Let me
00:49:04do it.
00:49:05You do realise there's no such thing as a zombie, don't you?
00:49:08Don't spoil it for him.
00:49:11I like the idea of being a prep-up, so I thought I'd have a go at making my own
00:49:16bug-out car.
00:49:24This is what I came up with.
00:49:30It started life as a VW camper van, a high-top version.
00:49:34But I've stripped it of its iffy heritage to turn it into a vehicle that can bare its teeth in
00:49:40a dangerous post-apocalyptic world.
00:49:47And I love it!
00:49:51I'm so unbelievably pleased with this thing. I feel invincible, ready, prepared.
00:49:59Which is hardly surprising, given the modifications are made.
00:50:05At the front, a battering ram, because you can be pretty sure the roads won't be clear.
00:50:09The ram itself is fitted with spikes for fending off zombies at close quarters.
00:50:14Then, up top, a bank of powerful rally lights to cut through the murky soup of a nuclear winter.
00:50:20Of course, not everyone I meet will be friendly. So, up here.
00:50:31Weapons rack. Everything I need to defend myself against cannibals and zombies.
00:50:37Round here, water. Essential. Subtle stuff, too.
00:50:42I don't want to stand out, hence the camouflage paint.
00:50:45But, perhaps most importantly of all, the whole of my bug-out camper van has been armour-plated.
00:50:51I really have thought of everything.
00:50:53No, you haven't.
00:50:54All you've done is ruined a perfectly good camper van.
00:50:57And a jumper.
00:50:58No, I haven't. It's brilliant. It's bulletproof all over.
00:51:01It's bulletproof?
00:51:02Yes.
00:51:02Is it?
00:51:03Yes, it is.
00:51:04Oh, yeah. Sounds like it.
00:51:06Yeah, tanks feel like that.
00:51:07Okay, then.
00:51:08Yeah.
00:51:09These are guns. Use them.
00:51:10What, on you?
00:51:11No, on the van.
00:51:13Shoot it.
00:51:13Are we ready, gentlemen?
00:51:15Yes.
00:51:16Ha! Didn't go through.
00:51:19Chip the paint. That's all you've done.
00:51:21Yes.
00:51:21Hammond.
00:51:22Yep.
00:51:22What you're suggesting is these aliens, they're going to travel trillions of miles
00:51:27using a propulsion system that we can't even conceive,
00:51:30and then they're going to try and take over the world
00:51:33using 177 air rifles.
00:51:35Well, if they do, I shall be ready for them.
00:51:40Especially given what I've done in here.
00:51:44Inside, I've turned this once humble camper van
00:51:47into literally the highest tech command centre imaginable.
00:51:51Up front, carbon dioxide scrubbers just like the ones on Apollo 13.
00:51:54They will purify the air, even in case of radiation.
00:51:58And you can measure that radiation on these systems up here.
00:52:03Water.
00:52:04May not be able to find it.
00:52:05Need to make it.
00:52:06It's essential.
00:52:07I've fitted a system that recycles urine.
00:52:11Basically, you do your number ones up there.
00:52:15Operate the pumps.
00:52:15They send the results up, across, and into the water purification system here.
00:52:21And it emerges from that as purest drinking water.
00:52:29Food.
00:52:30I'm going to need it.
00:52:31I've got a chicken.
00:52:32It lays eggs.
00:52:33They go in there.
00:52:35And perhaps best of all, the pate de foie gras of the bug out community.
00:52:39Chicken soup.
00:52:41I love all this.
00:52:43Setting out into the wilderness in my little house on wheels.
00:52:46Knowing I've got everything I need, whatever happens.
00:52:50What the?
00:52:55Am I penetrating his bulletproof armor?
00:52:59Yes.
00:53:00And his food.
00:53:02Ah, that's my own urate.
00:53:06Are you two doing this?
00:53:08Yes, he is.
00:53:10I'd get out of the way if I were you.
00:53:13The problem with the chicken is it moves around, making this a...
00:53:19Oh, good idea.
00:53:20Knit.
00:53:24Right, reloading, James.
00:53:26Reloading.
00:53:27Oh, yes.
00:53:39Good shot.
00:53:41Not bad, was it?
00:53:43Sort of game over, though, now, really.
00:53:46Hmm.
00:53:48Right.
00:53:52It wasn't game over, though, because I went back to the drawing board and started again.
00:54:01Three months' work.
00:54:03I've used the same basic interior setup, but I've completely rethought the armor plating,
00:54:08so that whatever those two have...
00:54:18Now, this is a scimitar light reconnaissance tank.
00:54:22It's small, it's quite vast, it's quite maneuverable.
00:54:26Its job is to sort of skip around the battlefield like a goat and find stuff.
00:54:35Now, look at Hammond running around in a mad panic. He thinks I'm going to shoot him with my tank,
00:54:40but I'm not.
00:54:40I'm just here to mark him with a laser.
00:54:45He's going to shoot him.
00:54:53Yes, this is a Challenger 2 main battle tank.
00:54:58And this really is a plug-out vehicle.
00:55:01Certainly, it's a lot better than, I don't know, a Hyundai with spikes on the wheels.
00:55:06It'll totally protect its occupants from radiation, nuclear fallout, gas, even a direct hit, thanks to its incredible armor, from
00:55:16any known battlefield weapon.
00:55:20Then there's his gun, which is, well, there's no other word, enormous.
00:55:25120 millimeters.
00:55:27And it could hit a target, let's say, Richard Hammond's van, while the tank itself is doing 30 miles an
00:55:35hour over rough ground.
00:55:38I think, though, today, I shall fire while stationary, because I want to savor the moment.
00:55:44Okay, thank you, chap, so we could stop there.
00:55:47Right, going down. Roger, going down.
00:55:53Oh, dear.
00:55:57I've loaded the gun with a high-explosive shell.
00:56:00It's a tracer shell, so we'll be able to monitor its progress as it arcs toward the target.
00:56:06Oh, Commander Clarkson, this is fantastic.
00:56:09I can see him right there, and he's painted. Have you got it?
00:56:11Yep.
00:56:14You bastards!
00:56:15Oh, just put him out of his misery, will you?
00:56:18Fire!
00:56:34I'm not sure his bug-out vehicle was quite as strong as he may have led you to believe.
00:56:45Right.
00:56:56Many months later, I was ready to unveil my third attempt.
00:57:02An impregnable fortune.
00:57:07Oh, yeah!
00:57:10This is bug-out-of-heaven.
00:57:13I've used, as my inspiration, the armoured personnel carrier from Aliens.
00:57:19On the basis that, if it can protect Sigourney Weaver from that metal bitey thing with teeth,
00:57:26it can keep me safe from Jeremy Clarkson and James May.
00:57:30Underneath this piece are the basic elements of an Albus stalwart.
00:57:34So it was already armour-plated, amphibious, massively powerful, six-wheel drive and four-wheel steering.
00:57:46And what I've gone and done is improve it.
00:57:58It's got a honeycombed latticework of ceramic steel armour plating that's three times thicker than the armour you'll find on
00:58:07the turret of an Abrams A1 M1 tank.
00:58:13In testing, I fired a 7.62 round at that hull and all it left was a mark like that
00:58:21one.
00:58:23This thing is incredible.
00:58:29Whatever those two are planning this time, it won't work.
00:58:34They won't be able to damage my soup.
00:58:43Drone feed stabilised. Vehicle spotted in the open.
00:58:47Four-five, stand by to engage target.
00:58:49Four-five stood to engage target.
00:58:51Four-five, stand by to engage target.
00:59:00This shell is twice as powerful as the shell we fired from the tank.
00:59:08And it can hit the target 13 miles wide.
00:59:16Loading weapon.
00:59:25Hot-room gun loaded.
00:59:27Gun ready.
00:59:28Fire mission.
00:59:28Target number.
00:59:30Uniform Tango.
00:59:31One-eight-zero-five.
00:59:34Altitude three-five.
00:59:36Direction four-six-zero-zero.
00:59:39Gun.
00:59:39Target line one-three-zero.
00:59:42Ready six-eight.
00:59:44Command approved.
00:59:45Four-five.
00:59:46Engage.
00:59:47Command approved.
00:59:48Four-five.
00:59:49Fire.
00:59:56They're bored.
00:59:58They've realised I'm unhurtable.
01:00:01Given up.
01:00:04Five seconds to impact.
01:00:06They probably think it's really funny.
01:00:07They probably think I'm out here all unconscious.
01:00:19Four-five.
01:00:20Target destroyed.
01:00:37We went through the wreckage afterwards, and this is all that remains of Richard Hammond.
01:00:44is just some dust and we know it is hammond because we found this suspiciously white tooth
01:00:58so there you are preppers the tragic remains of richard hammond are proof
01:01:03positive that your hobby is utterly pointless you spilled it spilt him on the floor
01:01:09now you've got them all over your shoes i know even when his dust is annoying anyway
01:01:15on that terrible disappointment it is time to end
01:01:19he's pretty much gone now thank you very much for watching see you next time goodbye
01:01:40so
01:01:46so
01:01:56you
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