#TheGrandTour #OneForTheRoad #ClarksonHammondMay #FinalLap #ZimbabweSpecial
After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.
#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory
After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.
#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory
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MotorTranscript
00:00:08To be continued...
00:01:15Thank you so much and welcome to the Grand Tour, which this week comes to you from the United Arab
00:01:23Emirates.
00:01:33Specifically, we are in Dubai, which means for the first time ever, we are the three poorest people in the
00:01:39tent.
00:01:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:01:41I mean, look at that.
00:01:42You think, how do they do that with all those fountains?
00:01:45Well, I'll let you into a little secret.
00:01:47It's Perrier water.
00:01:50Straight up into the air.
00:01:52I heard another one the other day.
00:01:54Okay, a taxi driver clearing out his cab after a hard day at work, umbrella, mobile phone, usual stuff.
00:02:00Eight hundred thousand pound gold bar.
00:02:03Someone had left it in there and not even noticed.
00:02:07You would.
00:02:08Mind you, that said, here, you can just go to an ATM and get gold out.
00:02:12Look at this.
00:02:13That's an actual ATM.
00:02:15Because you know when it's like two o'clock in the morning, oh no, I haven't got an ingot with
00:02:18me.
00:02:18But here, you're fine.
00:02:20You can even buy tyres here, okay, which are studded with gold and diamonds.
00:02:26Look at this.
00:02:27Six hundred thousand pounds a set.
00:02:30Even the authorities are loaded.
00:02:32We have here a selection of pictures of local police cars.
00:02:35They have an Aventador.
00:02:36They also have an SLS.
00:02:39Yeah, wait for it.
00:02:40They even have a Veyron.
00:02:42Police car.
00:02:43Oh, yeah, obviously, because you need that.
00:02:45You need that.
00:02:47It's important.
00:02:48I've even got a photograph of a local ambulance.
00:02:50Look, here it is.
00:02:53Not quite sure how that works.
00:02:55Presumably, you have to break the patient's other leg to actually get him in there.
00:03:00Yeah.
00:03:00Then there's public transport.
00:03:02Now, okay, in the UK, this is a bus.
00:03:04Yes?
00:03:05Yeah.
00:03:05Let me show you a photograph of a local bus here.
00:03:08There you go.
00:03:11Top speed, 155 miles an hour.
00:03:13Costs seven million pounds.
00:03:15Seats 23 people.
00:03:16You telephone the owner, and then he comes and picks you up and takes you to where you want
00:03:20to go.
00:03:21That's a taxi.
00:03:22No, James.
00:03:23No, no, no.
00:03:24A taxi in Dubai looks like this.
00:03:28All right, yeah.
00:03:28Come on.
00:03:29You think I'm joking.
00:03:31Look, Uber.
00:03:32Seriously.
00:03:33You call Uber up here, and you're given a choice.
00:03:35Prius or helicopter.
00:03:37Wow.
00:03:38Do you get to rate the driver?
00:03:40Do you think he sticks his telephone on the screen like they do in Britain in the Prius?
00:03:44I'm not really a pilot.
00:03:45I'm just doing this while I'm training to be a plumber.
00:03:47Oh, no, get out.
00:03:48Just get out.
00:03:49Should we get on with the show?
00:03:50Yes, good idea, because in our car show this week...
00:03:54James falls over.
00:03:57Ow!
00:03:59James falls over again.
00:04:03And James falls over.
00:04:07Oh!
00:04:09But first, there's been a bit of an argument.
00:04:11You see, James and I both recently bought five-door German hatchbacks.
00:04:16His is a BMW i3, which is powered by electricity, and mine is a conventional Volkswagen Golf GTI.
00:04:24Yes, meaning my car is from the future, and his is from the past, making me enlightened and him a
00:04:32dinosaur.
00:04:33They have been arguing like this for a while now.
00:04:36Look, the thing is, I don't doubt that in the future electric cars will work, but they don't work now.
00:04:42Well, they do.
00:04:43They don't, James.
00:04:44Well, why did you fit yours with a petrol-powered range extender?
00:04:48Well, that's just a little generator that keeps the battery topped up if I need it.
00:04:53What you're saying is you can't rely on new technology, and your seats, they're made from the contents of a
00:04:58Hoover bag.
00:04:58Oh, says the man.
00:05:00Says the man whose seats are made from Jackie Stewart's old trousers.
00:05:05It's whatever!
00:05:07The fact is, in the office, we decided we'd had enough of them bickering and told them to go out
00:05:12and do a proper road test.
00:05:13So we did.
00:05:16We began in London with a real-world test that Clarkson had thought of.
00:05:21Right, James, we must now see who can open their back door in the shortest time.
00:05:25Why?
00:05:26Well, it could be an emergency. People will want to know.
00:05:29Ready, steady, go! Our mind's open!
00:05:31Oh, dear, have you got to open your front door before you open...
00:05:34Yes!
00:05:35...that, let's be honest, a flap.
00:05:37It's not a flap.
00:05:37It is a flap. A BMW's saying that in the future, children will only be three inches wide.
00:05:42What are you talking about?
00:05:43Well, for a start, it's hardly a hardship, and that's an enormous space.
00:05:47You only wanted to do that test because you made a mistake. He made a mistake.
00:05:50I didn't. What mistake?
00:05:52You did. You wanted a three-door Golf, and you didn't fill the form improperly. I know that.
00:05:56But...
00:05:56You can't tick boxes.
00:05:58Five doors are better looking.
00:05:59No, they're not. Nobody ever wanted a five-door Golf GTI.
00:06:02We've got to get on now.
00:06:03It's really now.
00:06:03We've got to talk about money.
00:06:04He also wanted a red one. He didn't fill that bit improperly, either.
00:06:15This car, with many, many optional extras, was £36,000, whereas James May's BMW i3 was...
00:06:27Let's find out, shall we?
00:06:29How much was your i3?
00:06:31Well, it was £40,000, but I got £5,000 back from the government.
00:06:36So, actually, it's £35,000, which is less than yours, I think.
00:06:39You were given, by the government, £5,000 of taxpayers' money, so you could buy that car.
00:06:48I didn't make the rules. You can't turn it down. It's not like the Beatles' OBE.
00:06:52That is obscene. I mean, James May is a wealthy man, but that bus driver has bought his car for
00:06:59him.
00:07:00Where's the justice in that?
00:07:04You're paying for his car. Do you know that?
00:07:07You have paid for it. Just so you know, you paid for his car.
00:07:11Has James May thanked you for buying his car for him?
00:07:15Jeremy will have an opinion on this, despite having bought a farm on which, for many years, he was paid
00:07:20to not grow anything.
00:07:24Congestion charge here. It's £11.50 to drive into the centre.
00:07:27Not for me, it isn't.
00:07:28Of course it isn't. Taxi driver here. Is he paying for your congestion charge?
00:07:32I suppose everybody must pay a little bit.
00:07:35James May, James May, stealing from the rich
00:07:39James May, James May, stealing from the poor
00:07:42He steals from the rich, he steals from the poor
00:07:46And once more, once it's all, that's appalling
00:07:52Nearly works.
00:07:55I'd had enough of this, so I came up with a new way of trying to prove my car was
00:08:00better than his.
00:08:05James, can I just ask, why have you brought me to London Airport?
00:08:08Because I want to prove that my car is faster than yours.
00:08:13It's funny, because I just heard you say that your car's faster than mine.
00:08:17Yeah, it is.
00:08:19167 horsepower.
00:08:20Mm-hmm.
00:08:21Mine has the performance back, so it produces 227.
00:08:25Does it?
00:08:25Yes.
00:08:25That's the official figure, is it?
00:08:27Yes, it is.
00:08:28From VW?
00:08:29Yes.
00:08:29And you believe them?
00:08:31Yes.
00:08:32All right, listen, I know what you mean.
00:08:34Drag race, nought to 150.
00:08:37No.
00:08:39Having not agreed on that, we then failed to agree on where the finishing line should be.
00:08:45James wanted a short race, and Arnie didn't.
00:08:52Compromise.
00:08:53Isn't that too short?
00:08:54It's not, it's exactly right.
00:08:56But eventually, we were ready to go.
00:09:04Now, the thing to remember, viewers, is that an electric motor delivers enormous torque from nothing, from really low down.
00:09:11So, over a short distance, I should absolutely cream this.
00:09:14Here we go.
00:09:17DCC, normal.
00:09:18Steering, normal.
00:09:20Drive, eco.
00:09:23No point ruining my own car to win this.
00:09:46No need to rush.
00:09:48I'm winning.
00:09:49Oh, yes.
00:09:53I'm still winning.
00:09:56Let's go get him.
00:09:57Come on, golfie.
00:09:59No.
00:10:00No.
00:10:01Quite sprightly, but not sprightly enough, methinks.
00:10:07See you, James.
00:10:15Bah.
00:10:17I've made the future look rubbish on the television.
00:10:20And then, to make it look even worse, I told the Benefit scrounger that we were setting off for Devon.
00:10:27Um, why are we going to Devon?
00:10:30Because we have two tickets tonight to see Roger Daltrey, out of the Who, perform at a pub on Dartmoor.
00:10:39Couldn't we just wait for him to come and maybe perform in London?
00:10:42Because I'm sure he will.
00:10:44Well, no, because it's a 200-mile drive, thereabouts.
00:10:47It'll give us an opportunity to see how our cars work in the real world.
00:10:51What he means is it's an opportunity for him to claim that the car of the past is superior.
00:10:58To prove it wasn't, I needed to top up the charge I'd lost by doing the drag race.
00:11:03When I look at settings on my sat-nav, I can look at where all the charging and petrol stations
00:11:10are.
00:11:10I have the right card for it.
00:11:14And soon, we found exactly what I was looking for.
00:11:28It's the future.
00:11:30Oh, that's such a shame.
00:11:32Shut up.
00:11:34Because I didn't have enough juice in the batteries to make the next charge point, I had to turn on
00:11:39my petrol generator, which stopped them going even flatter, and engage Eco Pro Plus driving mode.
00:11:47It does mean I have to do 56 miles an hour.
00:11:51That's where Eco Pro Plus sets the maximum speed, because that way you get the maximum range.
00:11:57But it means I'm effectively a lorry driver.
00:11:59And because I'm in Eco Pro, I don't get any air conditioning or climate control at all, because that wastes
00:12:05electricity.
00:12:06So the car is slowly steaming up.
00:12:09It's now warning me.
00:12:10It says, find a charge station, you idiot.
00:12:13How many screws do you have to have loose before you say, yes, I'm going to buy a car which,
00:12:20when it's running low on power, has to be driven at eight miles an hour,
00:12:24with the air conditioning off and the lights off and the heater off and the radio off.
00:12:30Why would you do that?
00:12:33After several lifetimes of driving in convoy with James, we finally found a charge point that worked.
00:12:42That's it.
00:12:44It's done?
00:12:45Yes. You don't have to stand and watch it. It's not like petrol.
00:12:48We can go off and have a cup of coffee, a sticky bun.
00:12:51How long is it going to take?
00:12:52An hour or so.
00:12:53An hour?
00:12:54Yeah.
00:12:55How much does it cost to fill it up?
00:12:58Nothing.
00:13:01What?
00:13:02Well, say it's free.
00:13:03How could it be free?
00:13:04Well, it's free. You have to get the card, but it doesn't cost anything.
00:13:07How much does the card cost?
00:13:08Nothing. You just have to fill a form in on the internet and it comes in the post.
00:13:12I'm paying for your fuel, well, your electricity as well.
00:13:15Probably.
00:13:16I'm just staggered by this. It's iniquitous.
00:13:20After killing time for a few minutes,
00:13:23I'm going to try and win some money to pay for James May's heating bill this year,
00:13:27which will undoubtedly be down to me.
00:13:30I decided I couldn't be bothered to wait anymore,
00:13:33so I recharged the old-fashioned way
00:13:36and in moments was back on the road.
00:13:42Britain only produces 5% more power than it actually consumes.
00:13:48That's now.
00:13:49So if everybody starts buying electric cars,
00:13:52the power stations won't be able to cope.
00:13:54There'll be power cuts,
00:13:56and then there will be looting and anarchy.
00:13:58That's what James is doing.
00:13:59He is bringing Britain to its knees.
00:14:11Oh, yes.
00:14:13Here's something for Jeremy.
00:14:16Assuming he's got a CD player,
00:14:17he's probably got a cassette player in his Golf GTI.
00:14:21Actually, May couldn't have been more wrong.
00:14:25This car may be from the past, but check this out.
00:14:28It's accelerating now, you can probably hear that,
00:14:30but I'm not doing it.
00:14:31The radar in front of me is maintaining a safe distance
00:14:35behind the car in front.
00:14:38He goes faster, I go faster.
00:14:40He slows down, I slow down.
00:14:42Car pulling out now into the middle lane,
00:14:43the car will sense that.
00:14:44Yep, it's now dropping me back from that.
00:14:47I don't even have to steer
00:14:49because it'll keep itself between the white lines.
00:14:52Look.
00:14:53Google is making a big fuss.
00:14:55Ooh, aren't we clever?
00:14:56We're making a self-driving car.
00:14:57It's already here.
00:14:59I'm driving it.
00:15:00And it's from 1978.
00:15:05After an hour's charging, I was back on the move.
00:15:10I actually think the service station on the motorway
00:15:12should have an electric car driver section
00:15:14where there are, you know, very complicated jigsaw puzzles
00:15:17and a Monopoly set or maybe some painting by numbers.
00:15:23It is 170 miles to go.
00:15:26God, look at it.
00:15:26It's all the way down there.
00:15:29Many miles ahead,
00:15:30I was busy firing up the GTI's Apple CarPlay system.
00:15:36Right, I'm going to send James May a text message now,
00:15:39which would be illegal in most cars,
00:15:41but not in this one.
00:15:43To whom should I send your message?
00:15:45May.
00:15:47What was that again?
00:15:48Uh-oh, something's wrong.
00:15:50Can you try again?
00:15:51Edit that out.
00:15:53To whom shall I send it?
00:15:56May.
00:15:58I don't know what you mean by Barry.
00:16:00To whom shall I send it?
00:16:01I didn't say Barry.
00:16:03May.
00:16:04This is not doing well, Volkswagen.
00:16:07Come on.
00:16:08OK, what do you want to say to May?
00:16:11May, you're a blithering idiot
00:16:13and your stupid car is ruining my day.
00:16:18Your message to May says
00:16:20your brother is idiot and your stupid car is ready.
00:16:23Ready to send it?
00:16:29Your brother is idiot?
00:16:30What?
00:16:31He's never met my brother.
00:16:33How does he know he's an idiot?
00:16:36Because I'd turned off the motorway
00:16:38to take the more direct route to Dartmoor,
00:16:40I thought I'd better let James know that as well.
00:16:46I'm going on the A34 and the A303.
00:16:50I'll see you there.
00:16:54Your message to May says
00:16:55I'm going on the first floor of the three RC.
00:16:59Ready to send it?
00:17:04I, meanwhile, was using the longer motorway route
00:17:08because there'd be more charging points.
00:17:10But I had my foot down.
00:17:15And now, the electric car of the future
00:17:19is overtaking a Porsche 911 Turbo S.
00:17:23There we go.
00:17:25I'm driving along in a car on the motorway
00:17:29at motorway speeds,
00:17:31overtaking everybody.
00:17:35Oh, no.
00:17:36Since I've filled up,
00:17:37I've used an eighth of a tank.
00:17:40Oh, no.
00:17:44And soon, I was deep in the Devon countryside
00:17:47where my excellent motorway cruising machine
00:17:51had become a GTI.
00:17:59Full sport mode now.
00:18:05It's got an astonishing front differential.
00:18:08So you can hurl the car into any corner
00:18:11at any speed that takes your fancy,
00:18:13knowing you're going to come out on the other side OK.
00:18:19I'm not kidding.
00:18:21On a road like this,
00:18:22with wet leaves and mud everywhere,
00:18:24this car is as fast as any Ferrari.
00:18:29It just is.
00:18:34Many hours from now,
00:18:36James May is going to be coming along here saying,
00:18:39I've got 13% battery and 2% fuel,
00:18:42so if I do 13.8 miles to the gallon,
00:18:45I should...
00:18:45Who was to do maths
00:18:47when they could do lift-off oversteer?
00:18:52In the I3,
00:18:53thanks to my exuberant driving,
00:18:55I was indeed having to do some maths.
00:18:59Energy management update.
00:19:01I have 36 miles of electric power remaining
00:19:05if I'm driving like this,
00:19:07and 34 miles of petrol range left,
00:19:11so I'm going to stop at these services
00:19:13and I'm going to fill up the little fuel tank.
00:19:19Nine quid.
00:19:20That is absolutely...
00:19:21I've overfilled it, in fact.
00:19:26If you drive a GTI,
00:19:28you're going to get to where you're going more quickly,
00:19:31which means you're going to meet more people,
00:19:34have more experiences,
00:19:36learn more stuff.
00:19:38Speed makes you cleverer.
00:19:46Whereas if you drive a BMW i3,
00:19:49you're going to get everywhere late,
00:19:50you're going to miss out on things.
00:19:52You'll miss out on theatre,
00:19:55culture,
00:19:55poetry,
00:19:57love.
00:19:58You'll be a hollowed-out husk of a man.
00:20:04Connect your vehicle and validate.
00:20:09What do they mean, validate?
00:20:11I've already validated.
00:20:14And here we are.
00:20:16My quest is at an end.
00:20:18I mean, good time,
00:20:18all is well.
00:20:20And I was in for a treat,
00:20:21because joining Roger Daltrey on stage
00:20:24was legendary guitarist Wilco Johnson.
00:20:27The fabulous Wilco Johnson!
00:20:33Station waiting for a charge request from the vehicle.
00:20:37Initialisation, charging.
00:20:40It's not charging.
00:20:47Well, we'll be there, baby.
00:20:50Yeah, what you gonna do?
00:20:53OK, viewers,
00:20:55here is where we're at.
00:20:57That last charging station wasn't working.
00:21:00We have about 60 miles to go.
00:21:03So, the answer is...
00:21:06Eco-driving.
00:21:20I'm not switching it into fast mode.
00:21:23It's too wasteful.
00:21:33It is 18 miles to the pub.
00:21:37I have 16 miles of electric left.
00:21:42Is there anything else I can turn off?
00:21:49Finally, after much range anxiety...
00:21:53Roger Daltrey,
00:21:54here I come.
00:21:55I made it.
00:22:03Thanks for coming and goodnight!
00:22:07Oh, cock!
00:22:15Your car was the future.
00:22:18Two of the charging points you went to on that simple journey,
00:22:21two were broken.
00:22:22Yes, that is very unusual.
00:22:23But the point is,
00:22:24if I'd been allowed to set off
00:22:25with a full electric charge
00:22:27and a full little fuel tank,
00:22:29I could have got there,
00:22:29admittedly, a lot of 56 miles an hour,
00:22:31but I would have done it with one stop.
00:22:3356 miles an hour?
00:22:34The future does sound boring, James.
00:22:36And you still would have missed the gig.
00:22:38That film is out of date.
00:22:39You don't get 5,000 pounds from the government anymore.
00:22:43You only get 4,500 pounds.
00:22:45How will people cope?
00:22:47I think what we've done there is prove his car is not really worth buying just yet.
00:22:52Don't argue it isn't.
00:22:53It's not quite finished.
00:22:54Don't start again.
00:22:54And before we move on,
00:22:55I just want to tell you a little bit more about that Volkswagen system of texting.
00:22:59Because I was using that to send a text from my car the other day to my youngest daughter.
00:23:03And I put four kisses at the end, which is normal.
00:23:06And I said, X, X, X, X, okay?
00:23:08This is what she got.
00:23:10Oh, no!
00:23:12Oh, that is awkward!
00:23:15Oh!
00:23:17What did she say?
00:23:21Oh, that is awkward.
00:23:22What did she say?
00:23:22X, X, X, X.
00:23:24That's what comes out.
00:23:25What sort of face did she pull when she got that from her dad?
00:23:29Vomiters.
00:23:30Vomiters.
00:23:31We haven't spoken since.
00:23:32Katia, I'm sorry, it was the car.
00:23:34Move on.
00:23:35Yes, let's move on.
00:23:36It is now time for us to visit the headquarters of Chat and Company,
00:23:40who are, of course, based on Conversation Street.
00:23:43Vomiters.
00:23:47Vomiters.
00:23:47Vomiters.
00:23:48Vomiters.
00:23:48Vomiters.
00:23:49Vomiters.
00:23:52Vomiters.
00:23:52First one, yeah.
00:23:53Anyway, we begin, we begin with Dubai, in fact.
00:23:57Because the first time I came here, which was, it was only 20 years ago,
00:24:01it was like a small village.
00:24:03I was the tallest thing in it.
00:24:05We have.
00:24:06Now look at it.
00:24:07It's unbelievable.
00:24:09It's not that now, isn't it?
00:24:09It's staggering.
00:24:10It is unbelievable, that.
00:24:11Do you know, this shirt is older than everything you can see out of that.
00:24:15James, that shirt is older than Carthage, mate.
00:24:18Look at it.
00:24:18It is getting on a bit.
00:24:19Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is, a few years ago, when I first came here,
00:24:24there were virtually no motoring laws at all.
00:24:27I woke up one morning in my hotel, the hotel, there was only one, in the hotel,
00:24:31thinking, how did I get back here last night?
00:24:35Looked out of the window, two wheel marks, right over the ornamental roundabout.
00:24:39Now, and in the flower bed, my Range Rover.
00:24:43Jeremy, were you very tired when you parked it?
00:24:47I was off my face with tiredness.
00:24:51OK.
00:24:52Barely able to concentrate.
00:24:54But it was an extraordinary free-for-all, which I bet it isn't now.
00:24:57It really isn't now.
00:24:57There are now very many rules and many stiff punishments.
00:25:01I've got some of them here.
00:25:02Getting behind on the repayments on your car loan, you go to prison.
00:25:06Making rude gestures at other motorists, you go to prison.
00:25:10Well, they're all just the things I did when I was 17.
00:25:13All of them every day.
00:25:14Quite a proof of that.
00:25:15I'm just thinking of all the things that you could be sent to prison for in Britain.
00:25:18Oh, good conversation.
00:25:19If we run it properly.
00:25:20Very good conversation.
00:25:21I like that.
00:25:21Here's one.
00:25:22Anyone who takes more than five seconds between getting in their car after filling up with petrol
00:25:27and driving off?
00:25:28Yeah.
00:25:29Yeah, yeah.
00:25:30Definitely.
00:25:32Definitely.
00:25:33What do they do?
00:25:34I know, I know.
00:25:35What?
00:25:36Restaurant owners who serve food on a piece of wood.
00:25:39Um, it's not very car-related, is it, really?
00:25:41No, no, no, it's not.
00:25:42Heston Blumenthal does that.
00:25:44Yes, he does.
00:25:45Exactly, Heston, if you're watching.
00:25:47Prison.
00:25:50I hate that, food on a piece of wood.
00:25:51I'll tell you what I hate.
00:25:52I may have mentioned this a couple of times before, and I think it should be imprisonable.
00:25:56Any pilot who allows the cabin of the plane to be more than 68 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:26:02Oh, God.
00:26:02I'm with you on that one.
00:26:04All planes are too hot these days.
00:26:06No.
00:26:07It's just a standard moan of yours.
00:26:09I know, I know.
00:26:10It is.
00:26:11Oh, God.
00:26:12We do have to fly together, but obviously I make every effort not to sit near Jeremy Clarkson
00:26:16for a long flight.
00:26:17But eventually, you know, they turn the lights off and it goes all dark and after 10 minutes,
00:26:21this voiceover in the blackness goes, it's literally the hottest place in the world.
00:26:26Are we flying into the sun?
00:26:29If it gets any hotter, I shall open a window.
00:26:32I've heard all this so many times.
00:26:35Honestly, no, why do they do it?
00:26:36Why are there any pilots here?
00:26:38Yeah.
00:26:39You are a pilot.
00:26:40Why do you do it?
00:26:42Why do you boil us all?
00:26:44Who do you fly with?
00:26:46Etihad.
00:26:47Etihad.
00:26:47How hot are the planes?
00:26:49Well, there's a new rule.
00:26:50I'm telling you.
00:26:51I'm warning you.
00:26:53I'm seriously warning you on this one.
00:26:55You land, if it's gone over 68 in the cabin, straight to prison for 50 years.
00:27:00Can I also say, since you're in here, though it's worth pointing this out, since you're
00:27:06in here, when we're all trying to sleep, don't come on and tell us the outside temperature
00:27:08is 57 below zero because we don't give a toss.
00:27:11No, we don't.
00:27:12Because you can't open the window anywhere.
00:27:14All we care about is temperature in the plane.
00:27:16There's a few rules.
00:27:18Anyway, let's move it on.
00:27:20Shall we get back onto some cars?
00:27:21Yeah, travel cars.
00:27:23Well, sort of travel related stuff.
00:27:24Okay.
00:27:25I've got a photograph here of Britain's idea of infrastructure investment, okay?
00:27:30This is in Cambridge.
00:27:32It's a T-junction that they've designed for reasons known only to themselves to look like
00:27:39a roundabout.
00:27:40Yeah, and let me guess, it cost a hundred grand to do it.
00:27:43No, it was 500,000 pounds.
00:27:45Of course it was.
00:27:46Of course it was.
00:27:47A million pounds they charged the taxpayer for that.
00:27:49For some paving slabs, which is what that is.
00:27:51Anyway, Dubai's idea of infrastructure investment is a little bit different, because what they're
00:27:56planning is this.
00:27:57It's called the Hyperloop.
00:27:59It's like a tube train.
00:28:01And it'll go from Dubai to Abu Dhabi, which is about a hundred miles away, in 12 minutes.
00:28:0712 minutes?
00:28:0812 minutes.
00:28:09That's how long that will take.
00:28:10So how fast does it go?
00:28:12500 miles an hour.
00:28:14I mean, that is just breathtaking.
00:28:16It really is.
00:28:17Well, hang on.
00:28:18Did you say it was 100 miles?
00:28:19Yep.
00:28:19It's going 100 miles at 500 miles an hour in 12 minutes.
00:28:22That means it accelerates to 500 miles an hour instantly.
00:28:25Mmm.
00:28:26You're going to have trouble holding on to the drinks trolley at that hour.
00:28:30When it sets off, you'll poo yourself.
00:28:32And then when it stops, you'll wee yourself at the end.
00:28:36So are there any doctors here?
00:28:38I'm just saying.
00:28:39I start a medical argument.
00:28:40I'm just saying.
00:28:41I'm not sure you're right.
00:28:42I think, well, think about Newton.
00:28:44If you set off, you'll poo yourself.
00:28:45Yes.
00:28:45But when it slows down, you'll un-poo yourself.
00:28:47Because everything else will be an opposite reaction.
00:28:51I'm roughly right, aren't I?
00:28:53Any physicists here?
00:28:54I think we should move on.
00:28:56Yeah.
00:28:58Right at the beginning of the series, Richard Hammond and I came up with a rather brilliant
00:29:02idea called, making James May do things he doesn't want to do.
00:29:08Yep.
00:29:09Brilliant idea for an occasional feature.
00:29:11We made him go to a donating festival in South Africa.
00:29:15He hated it.
00:29:16Then he thought we'd forgotten about it.
00:29:19But we hadn't.
00:29:22This is the sort of countryside where people can do nice things.
00:29:26Like go for a walk.
00:29:28Or a picnic.
00:29:30This, however, is the sort of countryside that will be my home for the day.
00:29:34Mud.
00:29:35Yes.
00:29:36I love mud.
00:29:37When I say I love mud, I mean I hate mud.
00:29:41But the people with me here today really do love it.
00:29:45They dream of the stuff.
00:29:47These people behind me are called winchers.
00:29:50And what they like doing is winching.
00:29:52They will drive, deliberately, into something like that puddle over there.
00:29:59Until they get stuck.
00:30:01And then winch themselves out.
00:30:03And then when they've done that, they'll go and find another one.
00:30:07And do it again.
00:30:08And again.
00:30:09And again.
00:30:10And again.
00:30:10All day long.
00:30:14Winchers seem to be obsessed with making life as difficult as possible.
00:30:19They put orienteering punches in almost unreachable locations.
00:30:23And then try to get their 4x4s right up to them.
00:30:28As Seamus Doyle, my winch buddy for the day, explained.
00:30:33There's 50 punches dotted around in different parts of the site.
00:30:36We have a punch guard on the side of the vehicle here.
00:30:39You've got to get this punch guard to the punch.
00:30:41The punch will be on a string maybe two feet long from the tree or maybe one foot.
00:30:44So you've got to get punched a number.
00:30:46Like a hole puncher?
00:30:47Yes.
00:30:48When you get stuck, because you're going to get stuck,
00:30:50I have to get out and attach the winch to a tree or a...
00:30:54Yes, you get out and you get your strap with you.
00:30:57The strap goes around the tree to protect the tree.
00:30:59And you bring your winch up to the tree or whatever obstacle you touch to.
00:31:03And I'll operate the buttons.
00:31:04Your English is excellent, by the way.
00:31:06I've been practising for a long time now.
00:31:08A lot of practise has gone into that.
00:31:12As soon as the contest began,
00:31:14Seamus made it plain that my new role in life was to be his winch bitch.
00:31:24OK, I've got to go, go, go.
00:31:25What, I've got to get out?
00:31:26Yeah.
00:31:27Right, where the hell do you think I'm going to go?
00:31:29Well, with the winch rope, there's that tree over there.
00:31:31Oh, man.
00:31:33This is like being a...
00:31:36...hippopotamus.
00:31:39OK, the clock is ticking.
00:31:43Having got our first punch, I was hoping the day might get a bit less terrible.
00:31:48But it didn't.
00:31:52Oh, man.
00:31:54All right, James, come on, will you?
00:31:56Ow!
00:32:00I'm winching myself.
00:32:01Oh, that's much better.
00:32:03I say it's much better.
00:32:04It's less shit.
00:32:07Go, go, go.
00:32:08Come on, we've got middle of time.
00:32:09I've got a great idea.
00:32:10Yes.
00:32:11Why don't you get out and get the punch?
00:32:13No, I...
00:32:14Why do I have to keep doing it?
00:32:15Me being the driver, that doesn't work that way.
00:32:20Right, where next on our lovely Sunday drive?
00:32:24What are we doing here?
00:32:25Don't be stupid.
00:32:27Oh!
00:32:29Ow!
00:32:29We're stuck again.
00:32:31Got to winch you out here, buddy.
00:32:35See the tree over there?
00:32:36The place is full of f***ing trees.
00:32:39This is terrible.
00:32:40Oh, Christ!
00:32:44On the odd occasion when I did manage a sit-down in the car, Seamus even managed to ruin that.
00:32:53Oh!
00:32:54That wasn't even necessary.
00:32:56You just did that to piss me off.
00:32:58No, no, no.
00:33:04We nearly met it, James.
00:33:06Yeah, but you didn't.
00:33:08Now can I go home?
00:33:09Ground anchor over the hill.
00:33:11Jesus.
00:33:14You just sit there, okay?
00:33:16Oh, we're here, yeah, okay, yeah.
00:33:17It's four hours we've been in here now, and we've travelled in reality...
00:33:23150 metres.
00:33:24All the things I could be doing today that I would rather do.
00:33:29Which include self-harm.
00:33:36Mercifully, the contest eventually came to an end, and we were finally on our way back to prize-giving.
00:33:43The good news is, we're not going to come last.
00:33:45How do you know?
00:33:46Because one of the boys has broke down since 10 o'clock.
00:33:48Lucky bastard.
00:33:49Oh, jeez.
00:33:51I'm on it, I'm on it, I'm on it, I'm on it.
00:33:52No, you're going to overdo it.
00:33:54No, it's okay, you're okay.
00:33:57You idiot!
00:33:58You're fine, do you think it's okay?
00:33:59Are you driving, you fool?
00:34:01It stinks down here.
00:34:04God, what is this stuff?
00:34:06England.
00:34:08At last, we made it back for the prize-giving.
00:34:14So, here's a quick sum up.
00:34:16At the end of a seven-hour day, I've been stuck 50-something times.
00:34:23I've fallen over, I haven't actually been counting, something like 25 times.
00:34:27I've nearly drowned in three puddles.
00:34:30And that wouldn't be so bad if I was going to win the winch, or a winch cover, or a
00:34:34new piece of rope, or something like that.
00:34:36But in fact, in the rollover, we tore the punch card off, which means technically we've got to start again
00:34:41from the beginning.
00:34:43But I've decided to go and drown myself instead.
00:34:49I like James a lot.
00:34:51I like James as a new best man.
00:34:54Definitely.
00:34:55We're going to do a lot more of this.
00:34:57A lot more.
00:34:59So, James, was there any aspect of that that you liked?
00:35:03No.
00:35:04Good.
00:35:05So, moving on, it's time now to play Celebrity Brain Crash!
00:35:16That doesn't get any better.
00:35:18It doesn't, does it?
00:35:18Anyway, our guest today is a shining star from the world of Formula One.
00:35:26He's also a very brave young man because, even though he's fully aware of all of the calamities that have
00:35:32befallen all the other celebrities that have tried to come to our tent, he's elected to arrive in a hovercraft.
00:35:39Ladies and gentlemen, Daniel Ricciardo!
00:35:44There he is.
00:35:46Putting his helmet on.
00:35:48That's a wise move, I think.
00:35:49A wise move.
00:35:51I genuinely, genuinely like Daniel Ricciardo because he is a truly nice man.
00:35:57He's a truly nice man and he's also extremely happy.
00:36:00He is.
00:36:00Cheerful.
00:36:01The trouble is, I know from personal experience, hovercrafts are tricky to control.
00:36:05Yeah, Jeremy, he's a Formula One driver, he's got this covered, don't worry about it.
00:36:09No, but it's windy.
00:36:10Oh, here he comes, here he is, arriving now.
00:36:12He's fine with that.
00:36:13Wrestling with the controls and doing well.
00:36:15He's got it.
00:36:15Oh, he's overshot.
00:36:16He has overshot a bit there.
00:36:18Oh dear.
00:36:21Oh no.
00:36:22Oh, there's been, no, there's been a, no.
00:36:25Oh God, he's going in the fan, he's going in the fan!
00:36:27Oh no!
00:36:28Oh!
00:36:32Oh, that...
00:36:40The helmet, the helmet has now thankfully jammed the motor with his head.
00:36:46Yeah, it's too late.
00:36:50Um...
00:36:51Does that mean he's not coming on then?
00:36:54Well, James, he's been liquidised and now he's all over the windows.
00:36:57So, no, he's not.
00:36:58Yeah, he's not in the tent so much as on it.
00:37:01Yeah.
00:37:01Um, or...
00:37:03Well, we've got to do something.
00:37:05What do we do next?
00:37:05Well, I'm going to go and clean that off.
00:37:07It is distracting and off-putting.
00:37:10And how do we fill the time?
00:37:11No, it's alright, because I thought something like this might happen.
00:37:14So when we arrived last night, I went out and I made a little film yesterday.
00:37:18I forgot.
00:37:18What was it?
00:37:19Yeah, well, let's just...
00:37:21Sorry.
00:37:22I'd like to talk to you now about...
00:37:23No, we need to tighten the shock.
00:37:25Yeah, okay.
00:37:25That's a good idea.
00:37:26Tighten it on end.
00:37:27Just...
00:37:29Concentrate on me and what I'm saying and not on anything else that you might be tempted to look at.
00:37:34Um, now, the Porsche 918, earlier in this series of programmes, we saw it in action and proved that it
00:37:40is the ultimate of the hypercar holy trinity.
00:37:44When we put it against the Ferrari and the McLaren.
00:37:46But I've always wondered, how would it fare in a straight race against a Bugatti Veyron?
00:37:50And as we are in the home of the hypercar, this is the place to find out.
00:37:55Yeah, no, turn it on me.
00:37:56We're talking good.
00:37:57Um, this is then...
00:37:58This is a...
00:37:59It's a race between the future and the past.
00:38:03Second time this evening.
00:38:04Yeah, much like your film, only this one is exciting.
00:38:28So here we are, the grand old man of performance coming out one more time to defend his title against
00:38:34one of the young upstarts.
00:38:35Here's how it all pans out on paper.
00:38:37Bugatti Veyron, 0-60, 2.5 seconds.
00:38:41Power to weight ratio, 523 brake horsepower per tonne.
00:38:45The 918, 0-60, 2.6 seconds.
00:38:48But a power to weight ratio of 535 brake horsepower per tonne.
00:38:53However, as we learned when we raced the 918 against the LaFerrari and the P1 in our first show.
00:38:59Hard facts like that count for nothing.
00:39:02In the end, it's all down to this.
00:39:09And I'm ready to race.
00:39:12Actually.
00:39:16Yeah.
00:39:24Last bit of dead skin.
00:39:32Okay.
00:39:32Launch control.
00:39:34Race mode.
00:39:37Representing the future here.
00:39:58I think, if I can just stay ahead.
00:40:06This is going to be so close.
00:40:09The future is going to take it.
00:40:14I'm so sorry, Veyron.
00:40:16But your crown is gone.
00:40:18Wow.
00:40:20What a device this is.
00:40:25Now, I was going to call it a day at that, obviously.
00:40:28But there's a bloke here who wants to race his Nissan.
00:40:33It's a bit embarrassing, really.
00:40:34But you don't want to upset the locals.
00:40:37So, okay.
00:40:38Race is on.
00:40:39Here we go.
00:40:43Let's get this over with.
00:40:45Do race.
00:40:46Apologise.
00:40:46Move on.
00:40:49Get it.
00:40:57What?
00:40:59It's pulling away.
00:41:01In a Nissan Patrol.
00:41:03Get it.
00:41:08Get it.
00:41:09Get it.
00:41:11Get it.
00:41:13Get it.
00:41:14Get it.
00:41:15Get it.
00:41:16Get it.
00:41:17Get it.
00:41:17Get it.
00:41:29We've bigged up the hyper car holy trinity as the three greatest cars ever to have been conceived and invented.
00:41:38And the fastest of all of them was beaten by a Datsun van.
00:41:44Yes.
00:41:46What the hell engine did it have?
00:41:47Well, it turns out it's got 1,900 horsepower.
00:41:52What are Portia thinking of?
00:41:54I know.
00:41:54Back to the drawing boards, lads, and we'll gloss over that.
00:41:57Exactly right.
00:41:58You're an embarrassing mistake, Portia.
00:42:01Now, I'd like to make a confession, actually.
00:42:03And it's this.
00:42:04I've never been able to drift properly.
00:42:08It's just...
00:42:09I know, just ignore him.
00:42:11Nothing to see.
00:42:11Nothing to see here.
00:42:13Just a man doing his job.
00:42:16I've never been able to drift properly.
00:42:18I can provoke a car, you know, into a slide, but I couldn't hold it there.
00:42:22I'd always just spit off and crash.
00:42:24No, exactly.
00:42:24I mean, everything you've ever seen in the past of him drifting has been done with smoke, mirrors, clever editing,
00:42:30and, let's be honest, stunt drivers.
00:42:32So, I decided when we started making Grand Tour that I had to go out and change that and learn
00:42:37how to do it properly.
00:42:45One option would be to go to a supermarket car park on a Saturday night, but instead I came here,
00:42:51to France.
00:42:58Specifically to the top-secret Ledoux Test Centre, where Michelin develops its tyres.
00:43:06There are several reasons why I'm here.
00:43:10First, they have the space.
00:43:1427 miles of test tracks and skid pads.
00:43:20Second, if you want to understand drifting, you have to understand tyres.
00:43:26And this place is a tyre temple.
00:43:36Third, and most important, if you want to know about tyres, you have to know how to drift.
00:43:43And that is where this channel comes in.
00:43:50His name is Jérôme Haslam, and he is Michelin's chief tyre tester for BMW, Porsche, Ferrari, and Bugatti.
00:44:00Rubber compound runs through his veins.
00:44:03He is a zen master of grip, a kung fu panda of drifting.
00:44:07And I am to be his new pupil.
00:44:13For us, drifting is more serious, because when we evaluate tyre performances, especially we need to evaluate the performances not
00:44:24before the limit or on the limit, like in racing, but over the limit.
00:44:33This is what he means by over the limit.
00:44:36He uses power to kick the back of the car out of line.
00:44:40And then, a delicate balance of throttle and steering to keep it there.
00:44:47Your steering wheel technique is amazing.
00:44:50I play a lot with the gas pedal.
00:44:55And if you work a lot with the gas, you have nothing to do with the steering.
00:45:00You can do all with one hand.
00:45:02So you're steering the car with your right foot?
00:45:05Yes.
00:45:09Jérôme, this is brilliant that I learned how to do this, because you read those lists on the internet of
00:45:14things that women appreciate in a man, don't you?
00:45:16And there's always honesty, integrity, loyalty, fidelity, drifting.
00:45:21It's always there.
00:45:23On that note, it was time for me to begin my lesson.
00:45:28You can put the seat more close to the steering wheel.
00:45:33What do you want to say?
00:45:37OK, so, here we go.
00:45:40Voking oversteer, coming off, and then feeding, no, then going round in a small circle.
00:45:47My challenge was to drift the car for one complete lap.
00:45:53Gas, oversteer, release gas, countersteer.
00:45:56Release gas, gas, steer.
00:45:57Oh, spun.
00:45:58OK.
00:46:00Gas, gas, gas, gas, gas.
00:46:02Oh, bugger.
00:46:06Soon, the constant spinning started to have an effect on my teacher.
00:46:12A little bit more power.
00:46:14No.
00:46:16Yeah, off the gas.
00:46:21This is weird.
00:46:23I thought this would be so easy.
00:46:27OK, it's possible to take air, fresh air?
00:46:30Yeah.
00:46:31Because I will be here in two minutes.
00:46:34Is this going badly?
00:46:39While Jerome went off to say hello to his breakfast,
00:46:45I continued plugging away.
00:46:49Again, power, the wind can't just steer immediately.
00:46:52Now, hold it.
00:46:55And soon, it started to click.
00:47:00What I am doing is drifting.
00:47:02There's no denying that.
00:47:04Oh, yes.
00:47:06Yes.
00:47:07I've connected the steering wheel with my feet.
00:47:11This is a whole new feeling.
00:47:13This is not reacting to a slide.
00:47:15This is deliberately provoking it and keeping it right on the point.
00:47:23Ha-ha, Jerome, you French drift and ski instructing dude, you'll be impressed with this.
00:47:31And he was.
00:47:33And he was.
00:47:33So we immediately progressed to the next level.
00:47:37Just before we start, Jerome, are you going to make this look really annoyingly easy?
00:47:41Yeah, you are.
00:47:42Okay.
00:47:44Okay.
00:47:44He did.
00:47:46This is called transitioning.
00:47:49Drifting the car one way and then the other.
00:47:53Get it right and it's almost balletic.
00:48:02That is beautiful.
00:48:04From that to that seamlessly.
00:48:10Which, sadly, couldn't be said and what followed.
00:48:31BMW know we're using their car.
00:48:33I don't think so.
00:48:34Okay.
00:48:37Eventually, though.
00:48:50Yeah, that was the transition.
00:48:53Your first.
00:48:57By the end of the day, I really had got it mastered.
00:49:03I'd become, for the first time, a driving god.
00:49:14It really is the most amazing feeling when you get just the right amount of power to spin
00:49:21the back wheels, but not so much that you don't spin the whole car and you just hold
00:49:24it on the edge.
00:49:25No, I'm sorry.
00:49:26I'm sorry.
00:49:26He came back from France where he'd spent one day saying, well, I'm brilliant now.
00:49:31Yeah, well, I am.
00:49:33Well, now, I'm sorry, Hammond.
00:49:34It took me ten years to learn how to drift a car.
00:49:38Yeah, yeah.
00:49:38Mm-hmm.
00:49:38Because, because I'm not an ape, I did it in one day.
00:49:43You didn't.
00:49:44Well, I didn't.
00:49:45Well, look, anyway, it doesn't matter.
00:49:46To find out if he was a driving god, Clarkson and I arranged for Richard Hammond to take
00:49:52part in a drifting contest.
00:49:54Yeah, we did.
00:49:55We fixed up the car for him.
00:49:56We fixed up the competitors.
00:49:58We did everything.
00:50:06This is the car.
00:50:08It started out as a Nissan 200SX, but it's been fitted with a 700 horsepower 6.2 liter V8
00:50:15and a modified steering rack.
00:50:18So it can do this.
00:50:43It's owner, a chap called Steve Bagzi Biaggioni, said that to prepare for my competition, I
00:50:50needed to put some melons on a row of traffic cones.
00:50:54What are we doing with these?
00:50:56Well...
00:50:56Can I put mine down?
00:50:57They're really heavy.
00:50:58Well, in a drifting competition, you have what's called clipping points.
00:51:00Yes.
00:51:01So these will be determined points on the track made by the judges as to where they want to
00:51:06see the car.
00:51:07Our clipping points are melons?
00:51:08Melons, yes.
00:51:10My orders were to get as close to the melons as possible without hitting them.
00:51:17We're just going to concentrate on looking for the middle of the track, yeah, and aim the
00:51:22back of the car near their melons.
00:51:25Okay.
00:51:27Right.
00:51:28When you ready, go for it.
00:51:36Bullocks!
00:51:40Having not really mastered this at all, it was time for the event, organized by Clarkson
00:51:50and May, to begin.
00:51:53What they've done is told me to report here, Rockingham Raceway, where they've arranged for
00:51:58me to take on two drifters in some competitive drifting.
00:52:04The course was a series of classic transitional bends, strategically peppered with the dreaded
00:52:12clipping points.
00:52:16Bagsey was on hand to explain how the scoring worked.
00:52:20The main thing about drifting is that it's a judge's ball, and the judges have placed
00:52:24the clipping points on the circuit where they want to see the car, so that'll either be the
00:52:27rear of the car or the front of the car.
00:52:30The closer you get to the clipping points, the more points you're going to get awarded.
00:52:34But the key is to not hit them.
00:52:36If you can brush them, you're going to get maximum points.
00:52:39Now, when I say brush, I mean don't knock them over.
00:52:41If you can be within half a metre, you're going to score high.
00:52:46I'd also score points for holding the car in as impressive a drift as possible.
00:52:53You've also got to keep the throttle in so that you maintain the drift with good angle,
00:52:56and that's going to be only up to you about how much steering input and how much accelerator
00:53:00you put in.
00:53:02The cars are designed to run at almost 90 degrees.
00:53:05They've got massive amounts of steering angle, so you can drive on the end of your rack.
00:53:10OK.
00:53:11So I don't get awarded points for how quickly I do the whole thing?
00:53:13No, that doesn't come into it.
00:53:15It's all about angle, line, and how much you excite everybody.
00:53:20It's judge showing off, isn't it?
00:53:23Basically, yeah.
00:53:27As my car was prepped for the big event, the competitors, organised by my colleagues,
00:53:33finally arrived.
00:53:35And they weren't what I was expecting.
00:53:39It seems James and Jeremy want their old mate to do well after all,
00:53:43because unless I'm mistaken, it would appear that I'm up against a child
00:53:49and a man with no arms.
00:53:54OK.
00:53:57That's my competition.
00:54:02With the judges in position, it was time for the contest to begin.
00:54:08First up was the disabled gentleman, Bartek Ostolowski, from Poland.
00:54:14The fact is, Bartek is deficient in the arms department to the tune of two.
00:54:21When I say deficient, that's a load, I don't mean deficient.
00:54:24He has no arms at all.
00:54:27So, oh, it's brilliant that he's having a go.
00:54:30Really, it's tremendous.
00:54:32Bartek, who lost his arms in a motorcycling accident,
00:54:35overcomes his disability by steering with his foot
00:54:38and changing gear with his shoulder.
00:54:43And, unfortunately for me, he's rather good at it.
00:55:04How is he?
00:55:31Good for you.
00:55:32Really good for you.
00:55:34Yeah, good.
00:55:36This was nice.
00:55:38Out of a maximum of 30 points,
00:55:41the judges awarded Bartek a score of 22.
00:55:46And then it was the turn of the child.
00:55:49Connor Shanner, who's just 13 years old.
00:55:56Here we go.
00:55:57Primary school drifting with Connor.
00:55:59He'll go 10 yards, get bored, and start crying for his mummy.
00:56:05However...
00:56:19He's 13!
00:56:21I mean, it's five years of voting!
00:56:24I mean, it's five years of voting!
00:56:49Three times older, but still the same size.
00:56:53The judges awarded their cocky little, talented young man a score of 27.
00:57:00And then, it was my turn.
00:57:04Right, this is it.
00:57:06My shot at glory.
00:57:09Everything I'd learnt would be brought into sharp focus.
00:57:16The keys to not hit.
00:57:19Yeah!
00:57:20In the moment of truth.
00:57:24I'm waiting for Amber, there it is.
00:57:27Amber and...
00:57:35Forward to glory for Grand Tour!
00:57:39Let's get it!
00:58:05Oh, shit!
00:58:07Move!
00:58:08And across the line!
00:58:10Yeah!
00:58:11Yeah, I clipped the flag.
00:58:13That's probably an extra point, I imagine.
00:58:15I'll just restart, because I wanted to stop there for a minute.
00:58:19Yep!
00:58:20Oh, I've stalled again.
00:58:24Yep.
00:58:26Yep.
00:58:28Good.
00:58:29Ahem.
00:58:31So...
00:58:32Hold on.
00:58:33What was your final score?
00:58:36Two.
00:58:38Two.
00:58:39Yes.
00:58:39You were useless.
00:58:40Yo, listen, gentlemen, gentlemen, I have to say, I'm delighted that you now have albeit limited
00:58:46drifting skills, because it means I have a playmate, as this short montage from the last
00:58:5212 weeks shows.
00:58:54Do you see, there, yeah?
00:59:18On the edge.
00:59:20No, I admit it's not important work, really.
00:59:25No, no, we haven't actually cured anything.
00:59:26No, we haven't brought peace to troubled parts of the world or any of that stuff.
00:59:30But it is a job.
00:59:30It is a job and we're very good at it.
00:59:32No, you're not very good at it.
00:59:34Well, we are.
00:59:35No, well, I've got some items from the unseen footage bin that would suggest otherwise.
00:59:41Unfortunately, we don't have time for that later.
00:59:43No, no, no, you're wrong, we do have time.
00:59:45Who wants to see that? Nobody.
00:59:49OK, let's roll it.
00:59:52Here is Richard Hammond, can he contain 170 horsepower?
00:59:56No, it would appear not.
00:59:59Jeremy Clarkson, Porsche 911 GT3.
01:00:01Oh, there we go, you see, I have actually made a mess of that.
01:00:04Yes, you have and we saw it.
01:00:06Richard Hammond negotiating your name here, your name in this instance is Total Bellend, it would appear.
01:00:12Clarkson, has he tamed the GT3?
01:00:15No!
01:00:16I've had an idea.
01:00:17Hold on.
01:00:17I bet it wasn't this.
01:00:22What's this?
01:00:23Really?
01:00:24Never say that, even if you're just in a four-door family saloon.
01:00:28It's disastrous.
01:00:30Right, Richard Hammond, has he got it yet?
01:00:32Yes, I think he has.
01:00:33Yes.
01:00:34Yes.
01:00:35No.
01:00:36No, no, he has another.
01:00:38I'll tell you what.
01:00:39Come on.
01:00:39He's perfect.
01:00:41Yeah, just two or three, four, five.
01:00:45Don't worry.
01:00:46Don't worry.
01:00:47Don't worry.
01:00:47In the future we'll just get an armless man and a small boy to do those.
01:00:50Shut up!
01:00:51Shut up!
01:00:52As opposed to a fat man and a small boy.
01:00:54Anyway.
01:00:56Yes, and on that terrible disappointment it is time to end, not just the show, but the entire
01:01:01series.
01:01:01Thank you so much for watching.
01:01:03Thank you all for coming and we'll see you later in the year for more of this.
01:01:08Take care.
01:01:09Goodbye.
01:01:09Goodbye.
01:01:39Goodbye.
01:01:41Goodbye.
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