- 2 days ago
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00:32How do I look?
00:33You look fine, dear. Very smart.
00:36Well, first day. You've got to set the standards.
00:39God, we're lucky.
00:40We've got so much, haven't we?
00:44Not just each other, but the job.
00:46The house. The children.
00:48Who's the little one?
00:49That's Tom.
00:50No, no. I meant this chap here.
00:52I don't know. Must be the little boy from next door or something.
00:55I think I'll just pop out and tell them I'm off.
00:56Oh, do you have to? They seem to be enjoying themselves.
01:01Oh, dear.
01:07Good morning, good morning, good morning, lads.
01:10Now, allow me, by the benefit of my experience,
01:13to show you exactly how you can improve your game.
01:15I'll take this for a time being.
01:17You go, stand in the gully.
01:18Just stand in the gully, just there, all right?
01:19Now, for a start, three fingers apart.
01:22OK, come on, big lad, give me one.
01:23Send one down, nice and fierce.
01:25I'll show you.
01:27You see, that's the kind of...
01:29You've got to follow through, you see,
01:30and make sure it goes nice and apart.
01:32But not back.
01:33Give me that back.
01:34No, it's back.
01:35Give me it back.
01:37Give me it back.
01:39Give me it back.
01:40I have not finished my demonstration.
01:42You can improve your game.
01:43Give me it back.
01:44No.
01:44Give me it back.
01:48I'll add that green match, will you?
01:52I'm from next door.
01:53I'm afraid my little boy's got into your garden.
01:55How do you come in?
01:56Is yours?
01:56Is he?
01:56Sorry.
01:57Hang on.
01:58There's a hole in the fence, you see,
01:59and I told him to wait until you've settled in,
02:01but I just hope he's not being a nuisance.
02:03No, no, they were playing beautifully together.
02:06I'd have to confiscate this.
02:08I said he can have it back when he's prepared to apologise properly.
02:11He called me.
02:12Pam, Pam Shields.
02:14Hello.
02:15Thoroughly unpleasant child.
02:17I think he got in through that hole in the fence.
02:18Remind me to nail something across it, will you?
02:21Could I have my son's birthday present back?
02:23What?
02:24Oh, ah.
02:25Haven't you better hurry, Gordon.
02:27You don't want to be late for work.
02:28No, of course not.
02:30I thought I might ask a few of the staff back here this evening.
02:33Fine.
02:34I don't suppose we'll all be able to make it, but say, 30?
02:37Oh, so much is.
02:39Perfect.
02:39Wonderful, isn't she?
02:41Bye-bye, darling.
02:42Nice to meet you, Pam.
02:45I'll collect my son.
02:47Pam, I'm sorry about all that.
02:49I'm afraid my husband's...
02:50He doesn't mean to...
02:52Would you like a drink?
02:54I've just had a coffee, thank you.
02:56Oh, I was thinking of something a bit stronger than that.
02:59You see, there's something I think I ought to explain about Gordon.
03:03Usually I find it a bit easier over a drink.
03:05I'm sorry.
03:05I don't know.
03:35I don't know.
04:22I don't know.
04:23I don't know.
04:23I don't know.
04:38I don't know.
04:53I don't know.
04:55I don't know.
05:01I don't know.
05:48I don't know.
05:57I don't know.
05:59I don't know.
06:10I don't know.
06:31I don't know.
06:36I don't know.
06:38I don't know.
06:38I don't know.
06:39I don't know.
07:01I don't know.
07:21I don't know.
07:25I don't know.
07:36I don't know.
07:51I don't know.
07:52Sorry I'm late.
07:53Slight crisis down in reception.
07:55Gordon Britters.
07:58You must be Laura.
07:59That's right.
08:00Good to have you on the team, Laura.
08:03And this is...
08:04I'm Colin.
08:05Deputy Wett.
08:06Colin.
08:07Yes.
08:08Colin.
08:09So, you're the man with two PE degrees in a diploma in physical studies.
08:13That's right.
08:14Advanced homeopathy counsellor, trained yoga teacher and author of a pamphlet on how to achieve
08:19peak fitness in three weeks.
08:20That's me.
08:22Yes.
08:23Well.
08:24Welcome aboard, Colin.
08:25Let's get down to it, shall we?
08:30Now, if we're to open next Thursday, we've got a lot to do.
08:34I've already made out an agenda for this morning.
08:38Which...
08:38What's this?
08:39This is a rough timetable I've made up for my department.
08:42Good.
08:42Good.
08:43Can I ask what method you used?
08:46Pardon?
08:47For working out the roster.
08:49Dow House, Black and Watties?
08:53Oh, er...
08:54No.
08:54I just rang round and asked people what they wanted to do.
08:57Yes.
08:58Well, with respect, I think you'll find this a little more scientific.
09:02I used Sternheim, so it should be comprehensively balanced.
09:06Although, I welcome any little suggestions you have to make.
09:09Right, Mr Brutus.
09:10Gordon, please.
09:11We are, after all, just one big extended family.
09:14Isn't that so, Colin?
09:14Yes.
09:15Yes, of course.
09:15Mr Brutus.
09:18Right, we have a staff meeting at 11 o'clock this morning.
09:21Most of them are already down in the restroom.
09:23Splendid.
09:24But first, I thought we might...
09:26What's that smell?
09:28Oh, it could be my herbal poultice.
09:31Ah.
09:32I cut it on a tin of mung beans at the weekend.
09:34It's still suppurating away.
09:36It doesn't seem to want to heal up.
09:38Yes, quite.
09:40First, I thought we'd like to have a quick tour of the site, though, before we...
09:44If you could just wait outside, please.
09:46We're in the middle of a meeting.
09:47And if you could shut the door.
09:51That was Mrs Dapping.
09:53Councillor Dapping, head of the Borough Recreation Committee.
09:56Mrs Dapping!
09:57Come in!
09:58Come in!
09:59Mr Brutus, I don't want to interrupt anything.
10:02Of course not!
10:02But it's just that I've always taken a very keen interest in the progress of the centre.
10:07And I wondered if you...
10:08You're always welcome here, Mrs Dapping.
10:10In fact, you're just in time to join us on a little tour of the site to see how the
10:13building works coming along.
10:14That's what was worrying me.
10:16What?
10:17There isn't any building going on.
10:19Apparently, one of your staff was very rude to a builder this morning.
10:24They're holding a strike meeting in the car park.
10:27Whoa!
10:29Whoa!
10:31Come on, Colin.
10:32No good crying about it.
10:33Let's go and sort this thing out, shall we?
10:40Mother, I found out this morning Derek hasn't been paying the mortgage.
10:44Well, yes, yes, I suppose I should have checked, but...
10:48I know you've got a bit of money put by and I was wondering if you could let...
10:51Are you sure that's as wise, Mr Brutus?
10:54I will not have blaspheming, Colin, not in these grounds, not while I'm in charge.
10:58I can see we're going to have to postpone that staff meeting.
11:00I'll tell you what, I'll break the news to the staff while you explain things to the site manager.
11:05You mean go back out there?
11:06Why not?
11:08Just tell him what happened and roughly what we expect of him, Colin.
11:11What do we expect of him, Mr Brutus?
11:14Well, at the start, you can tell him that once his men are prepared to moderate their language,
11:17they're going to have their shovels back.
11:19I don't need marriage guidance, Mother, I need £700.
11:22I'll just pop upstairs with these, Carol, I'll be right with you, OK?
11:26Oh, dear.
11:27Oh, look at you. Here, have a tissue.
11:30Mr Brutus.
11:32Forgotten already, have we?
11:34What?
11:35Remember coffee cups? I thought we sorted this one out half an hour ago.
11:38Oh, I don't believe it.
11:39We don't want cups of coffee in reception...
11:41Yeah, OK, OK, I heard.
11:42We don't want cups of coffee in reception.
11:45There.
11:45There.
11:49And none of those either.
11:51Does that help?
11:51Does that make you feel better?
11:53Certainly helped me.
11:56Carol, could you see if you can find someone to clear this up, please?
11:59Please, I'll cut you back.
12:01And don't forget the golden rule, Carol. How...
12:04Can I help you?
12:06And a smile, Carol.
12:09LAUGHTER
12:13Morning, all.
12:14Hello, there.
12:15Everyone bright-eyed and bushy-tailed?
12:17Good.
12:18Now, we've had to postpone the staff meeting till 11.30.
12:21We've got a slight problem with the builders that need sorting out.
12:24However, I do have the staff roster for when we open next week.
12:28And perhaps while you're waiting, you'd all like to take a look at it.
12:31Mr Brutus?
12:32Yes?
12:33Neil Pettit.
12:34I just wanted to say how very much I'm looking forward to working here.
12:37Excellent.
12:38That's what we like to hear, Neil.
12:39Let's hope everyone feels the same way.
12:40Oh, I think they do, Mr Brutus.
12:41We can't wait to get...
12:43Hasn't there been some mistake?
12:45What? Where?
12:46Assisting the pool.
12:48It's got me down as assisting in the pool every day.
12:50What about table tennis?
12:52What about table tennis?
12:54Well, it's what I do.
12:56It's what I was hired for.
12:57I've been put on the pool every day.
12:59Yes, but if that's what it says...
13:01But that's crazy.
13:03I reached the national semi-finals as an under-16.
13:06I've captained the county team for five years.
13:09We played the Toyota paint spray shop in Cold Bay last year.
13:12Neil, if you give me something in writing, I'll be happy to look at it for next season.
13:16I'm afraid for the moment, though, you're on the pool.
13:18I wonder if I could have a word, please.
13:20And you are?
13:21Tim.
13:21And I'm Linda.
13:23Yes.
13:24Well, Tim and Linda, what can we do for you?
13:26It's about my free periods.
13:27I've been to a great deal of trouble, to be scrupulously fair to you.
13:30No, no, I'm sure you have.
13:31It's just that I'd like to be off on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons.
13:34And I was wondering, would it be all right if I swapped with Linda?
13:37I'm afraid not, no.
13:38I don't mind.
13:40Linda, I went to a great deal of trouble to do that roster.
13:43What would happen if everyone wanted to change, eh?
13:45Well, I can't see it would make much difference in this case.
13:48Yes, well, with respect, that's possibly why I'm in charge of this centre, not you.
13:51Who's doing it, then?
13:53Doing what?
13:54Table tennis.
13:54As a matter of fact, nobody's doing it, Neil.
13:57I decided we had better things to spend money on than teaching adolescents to tap a ball over a two
14:00-inch net.
14:02You'll just have to accept it. You're on the pool.
14:04But I can't swim.
14:07Well, you've got till Thursday to learn, haven't you?
14:11Can Gavin change, then?
14:12Gavin? Who's Gavin?
14:14Hello.
14:15You see, the thing is, we spend a lot of time together.
14:18Well, we have the same hobbies, the same interests.
14:20We get on really well together, we...
14:23It would help us a great deal.
14:26I've explained the situation, Tim, and I've got a great deal of work to do.
14:30I can't stand around arguing about afternoons off.
14:33Is there a Damien Barker here, please?
14:36Damien, can I have a quick word?
14:40Now, you're possibly wondering why you're not down for any pool duty.
14:45Sorry?
14:45I've got your medical record here, I think you understand.
14:49Well, what's there to understand?
14:51All right.
14:52You know and I know that it can't be transmitted by water.
14:56But the public get very uneasy about these things, and we have to remember...
14:59What things? What are you talking about?
15:02I'm talking about sexually transmitted diseases.
15:07Sexually?
15:07I don't have a sexually transmitted disease.
15:11I've got your record here and it quite...
15:13You're absolutely right, Damien.
15:16Very embarrassing.
15:18Is there a Nigel Redcliffe here, please?
15:24I can't pay the mortgage, Mr. Wilson, I told you.
15:28But I've got a three-week-old baby, what am I supposed to do?
15:32Well, do you mean make some other arrangement?
15:35What would you want me to do?
15:36Oh!
15:37Well, I've done that, Carol.
15:39Mrs. Delgado, hang on, Mr. Wilson.
15:41Wouldn't it break your heart?
15:44I've only done it half an hour ago and look at it.
15:47Yes, I'm terribly sorry. Do you think you could...
15:49I suppose I'll have to.
15:51Oh, don't worry.
15:53I'll get some hot water.
15:55You just keep him talking, you'll get an ambulance.
16:00Good grief.
16:01Oi, where do you think you're going?
16:02You haven't finished yet.
16:04I haven't started.
16:05I'm just going to get...
16:05I'm sick of excuses.
16:06I said I'll do it in a minute, but I can't...
16:08In a minute's not good enough.
16:09I want this cleared up and I want it done now.
16:12There's no need to shout.
16:13Well, what am I supposed to do to get things done round here?
16:15Lie down and cut an artery?
16:17If people just go along with their jobs instead of all this moaning, moaning, moaning...
16:21I don't have to be spoken to like this.
16:23I didn't spill it.
16:24I've cleaned that floor once already this morning.
16:26Look, you have your job.
16:28I have mine.
16:30I run this centre.
16:31You make sure it's not knee-deep in coffee cups.
16:33Doesn't sound too difficult to me.
16:34Well, if you're such a bloody expert, you can clean it yourself.
16:42But, Mr Wilson, I couldn't. It's...
16:45Carol?
16:48Remember what we said earlier?
16:50How can I help you?
16:52Have a smile, Carol. Don't forget the smile.
16:59Mr Wilson, how can I help you?
17:04No.
17:05I couldn't.
17:11He is not quite what I expected.
17:16Mr British?
17:17Yes.
17:18No.
17:20Of course, I was away when the committee appointed him.
17:25But they all said he did a very reasonable interview.
17:28Really?
17:29And he had the most wonderful reference from Aldershot.
17:33I saw it.
17:34They said how sorry they'd be to lose him.
17:37But as he was so clearly heading for the top,
17:40they didn't feel that they could stand in his way.
17:45Maybe once he's settled in, got to know us all.
17:49Yes.
17:51Yes.
17:53I'm sure you're right.
17:55Oh, my God, it's chaos down there.
17:58Laura, go down to First Aid and help Colin.
18:00He's got a nasty gash on the head from a shovel.
18:07What's happened?
18:08What hasn't happened?
18:09I've got builders who won't build.
18:11I've got cleaners who won't clean.
18:12Hello, is that the police?
18:14Yes, Gordon Bridges here, the manager of the Leisure Centre.
18:17I'm afraid one of my staff seems to have had a breakdown.
18:20Yes, I think an ambulance is an excellent idea.
18:25And, yes, possibly a qualified electrician.
18:28Well, at the moment,
18:29he's wired himself up to the emergency lighting circuit.
18:33Yes, thank you very much. Bye.
18:37You've been meeting some of the staff, have you?
18:40Yes, I think we've got a good team there.
18:42Once they settle down, of course.
18:45Mind you, one or two of them,
18:47Yes?
18:47Well, you don't have to be Alfred Einstein
18:50to see how some of them got the job.
18:52How do you mean?
18:53Well, take Colleen, for instance.
18:56I mean, far be it from me,
18:57but he's a classic case, I'm afraid.
18:59What are you saying, Mr Britas?
19:02Someone realises they've got a bit of a chocolate teapot.
19:05And you can't fire people these days
19:07just because they're no good.
19:08So what you do is you encourage them to look for promotion.
19:12That's why I had all those references.
19:15So that's how it happens.
19:18And nothing we can do about it, Mrs Dapping.
19:21Nothing at all?
19:22Not unless we're prepared to play the same dirty game.
19:25Ironic, isn't it?
19:27She's all right. He's wrapping the wound in babies.
19:31Mr Britas, I don't know if you want a word with a cleaning lady,
19:33only our husband is just taking her home.
19:35I've got rather a lot on my plate at the moment, Laura.
19:37I think we'll just have to manage without a cleaning lady for today.
19:39No, no, no. She's going for good and her husband with her.
19:42He's the heating engineer and he's turned off all the boilers.
19:45The building inspector says he can't give a building worthiness certificate
19:48until he's seen the heating in action
19:50and he wants you to know that he can't come again for a fortnight.
19:53All I can say is thank God I got here today.
19:57Just imagine if all that had happened yesterday
19:59with no one to sort it out, eh?
20:13Laura.
20:14Yes?
20:15Laura, if Britas ever suggests he'd like a job somewhere else,
20:20you will let me know, won't you?
20:21Yes. Yes, all right.
20:23I'd be very happy to write him a reference.
20:38I think this is all we're going to get, Mr. Britas.
20:40You think so?
20:41We've had quite a few resignations.
20:44Right.
20:48Good afternoon, everyone. Sorry about the delay.
20:52The latest news in our industrial dispute, by the way,
20:55is that I've put a few propositions in writing to the builders
20:58and I expect their reply sometime this evening.
21:03Welcome to Whitbury Newtown Leisure Centre.
21:06Now, I'm sure you're all as keen as I am to get the new team up and running
21:10and I'd like first to invite you all back to my house this evening
21:14so we can get to know each other in a relaxed, off-duty atmosphere.
21:198 o'clock, not before the end.
21:21If you could let me know numbers after the meeting, all right?
21:25Now, as you can see, there are many, many things we need to talk about
21:28but in view of today's events, I'd like to depart, if I may, from my agenda
21:34and share with you an idea, a dream.
21:39We live in a divided world.
21:42A world where race is set against race.
21:45The young against the old.
21:46The rich against the poor.
21:48The North against the South.
21:50And everyone against the Irish.
21:55I believe we at this centre can change all of that.
21:59I believe we can do a lot more than just provide entertainment for local people.
22:04I believe that we, who hold the strings, can draw the community together,
22:09weld it into some...
22:12Take your tennis back, Mr Britus.
22:14It could have killed someone.
22:15It's been specially sharpened.
22:18Where did it...
22:20Look, a ball.
22:22It's Neil.
22:23How do you fancy a game of ping-pong now, Mr Britus?
22:31Has he used all his bats, Colin?
22:32He's got dozens of them, Mr Britus.
22:34He's very keen on table tennis.
22:37Yes.
22:38Look, Neil, if you've got something to say,
22:40I think you should come down here out in the open and say it.
22:42It's too late for talking, Britus.
22:46Let's play!
22:53He's got a table tennis table!
23:10All right, which one of you is Britus?
23:17Gentlemen, how can I help you?
23:23As I said, welcome to Whitbreed Newtown letter centre.
23:27And has he always been like that?
23:30I suppose he has, really.
23:31It didn't seem to matter so much when he was younger,
23:34but once he got promoted...
23:36I remember one time in Runcorn,
23:38I watched him walk through this yoga relaxation class.
23:41Not stop or anything, just walk on through.
23:44But by the time he'd given a few words of encouragement here and there,
23:47four of the women were having a fist fight
23:49and the teacher had set fire to the hall with his meditation camera.
23:53Doesn't it bother him?
23:54I mean, doesn't he mind?
23:56He doesn't actually know.
23:58You see, it's funny, but Gordon has this idea
24:01that he's the oil that keeps the engine running smoothly,
24:04so he pours himself liberally into the gearbox.
24:07But, of course, he's not the oil.
24:09He never has been.
24:10He's a bag of grit.
24:13Look, I came round to bring you these from the garden.
24:16Oh, how lovely.
24:17Thanks.
24:18And I wondered if you wanted any help with the party.
24:20Oh, good Lord, and Lily forgotten.
24:21Thanks for reminding me, Pam.
24:24Want a hand?
24:25Oh, thanks.
24:26When did you do all this?
24:30Erm...
24:30June 1985.
24:31Yeah.
24:32Just take them out when I need them.
24:35Well, but isn't it rather dangerous to keep thawing and refreezing things?
24:39Only if you eat them.
24:41I'm home, darling.
24:44Sorry I'm late, darling. Rather a busy day.
24:47Hello, Pat.
24:48Good evening, Mr British.
24:50Nice to see you again.
24:51Can I get you a drink?
24:52Would you have to go?
24:54I'm just leaving.
24:55Good. Good.
24:57I'm sorry, darling.
24:59What?
25:00The party.
25:00I decided not to ask anyone back tonight.
25:03First day. Rather a lot happening already.
25:05Oh, never mind.
25:06I know.
25:06Why don't you put them in the deep freeze?
25:08Could you?
25:09I couldn't bear to see all your good work go to waste.
25:12I think I'll just pop up and say goodnight to the children, all right?
25:15Oh, those tomatoes look a bit manky, darling.
25:18I wouldn't shop there again if I were you.
25:19Get Pat to recommend a decent green road today.
25:24It's always like that, is it?
25:25Yes.
25:26Yes, it is.
25:27It's extraordinary, isn't it?
25:29He's...
25:29Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude.
25:32Oh, don't you worry.
25:33I don't.
25:34I'll take Lee, shall I?
25:36Certainly not.
25:37We'll have him for breakfast tomorrow and he'll tell me how lucky he is
25:39to have such a clever little woman in the kitchen.
25:42Who knows how important compliments are in a relationship.
25:46Learned it on a course.
25:48See you soon.
25:49Hi.
25:51I've told Jonathan he can have it back when he's prepared to behave
25:53in an adult, responsible manner.
25:55Right, darling.
25:57How did it go today?
25:59One or two teething troubles.
26:01Well, that's only to be expected.
26:02Good.
26:03I think we've got a good team there once we get to know each other, of course.
26:06That's nice.
26:07It's what I've always dreamed of, Helen.
26:09At last I've got the buildings, the resources, the authority.
26:14We live in a divided world.
26:15What's happen now, Gordon?
26:17Er, no.
26:18I think I'll fix the car first.
26:20What's wrong with the car?
26:21Colleen very kindly towed me home.
26:23Shouldn't take too long.
26:24What's wrong with the car, Gordon?
26:26Just a practical joke.
26:27The sort of thing the new boy has to expect, I'm afraid.
26:30Thursday, high spirits.
26:31What do they do?
26:32A couple of shovel floors.
26:33A couple of shovel floors of what?
27:03Shall I die?
27:15The 분들 when it's rising up here.
27:16Thecons of the team is moving there.
27:16Ooh, predictable.
27:25This is not, that's not ideal.
27:25A couple of sheep or wheel are such Harmonous article.
27:26build ourous hands. Ella
27:26got lucky to EssexINE. The
27:27leader of the Japanese, will
27:27counsel chemin from the doorway This
27:29is right.
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