- 6 hours ago
مسلسل Friends from College مترجم - Episode 1
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00:17Oh, no.
00:21You know what?
00:23Put me back down.
00:24Huh?
00:24What?
00:25Put me down.
00:26Why?
00:26Because I don't like it when you're grimacing like that.
00:29Can you see how that sounds?
00:29That's insulting.
00:30No, no, no.
00:31I'm grimacing from pleasure.
00:32That's a pleasure grimace.
00:32No, no.
00:33You don't make that face when we're in bed.
00:34Put me down.
00:35I'm just trying to get some purchase here.
00:36Put me down.
00:37All right.
00:37Okay.
00:38I promise.
00:38I'm sorry.
00:41All right.
00:43That's a bad angle.
00:44Oh, no.
00:45Jesus.
00:47Oh, my God.
00:47I'm sorry.
00:48What happened?
00:49It's okay.
00:49You need me in the vagina.
00:50Just a little bit.
00:51It's okay.
00:53I'm so sorry.
00:54Go get a condom.
00:55Okay.
01:02Shit.
01:02Dude.
01:03Get in here.
01:07All righty.
01:08Guess what?
01:09Yeah, come here.
01:10I am out.
01:11What?
01:12So you can skip just this once.
01:14We can't.
01:15You have been trying that line on me for two decades, literally, since freshman year.
01:20Uh, yeah.
01:21Because it works.
01:22Um, no.
01:23It's never worked once.
01:24What?
01:24Okay.
01:25What are the chances that you, um...
01:29Let me put...
01:30You're not menopaused, are you?
01:32What the fuck is wrong with you?
01:35Well, people menopause at different times.
01:37You could easily be menopaused.
01:38Okay, can you stop saying menopaused?
01:40I'm not a DVD player.
01:42Well, it should be menostopped, not menopaused.
01:43It's not called either.
01:44It's not a verb.
01:45Okay, all right.
01:45It just seems that we find ourselves in a very tricky situation here.
01:48If only three to five dollars could solve it.
01:59It's my turn.
02:01I don't care.
02:02It's my turn.
02:03I don't care.
02:03Get out of me.
02:04Now.
02:05It's my turn.
02:07I said it's my turn, you cunt.
02:10Holy shit.
02:12Hi.
02:13Dash.
02:14His language...
02:20Okay, here we are.
02:22Ta-da.
02:22Penis covers.
02:23I have to fly home to New York.
02:24I'm going standby.
02:25No, no, no, no.
02:26What happened?
02:27It's not a big deal, but I have to go.
02:29Oh, no.
02:29We've got some shit to talk about.
02:31There's something I really need to tell you.
02:32What?
02:33Are you in love with me?
02:34You leaving your wife?
02:35Should I leave John?
02:36I'm sorry.
02:37I'm sorry.
02:37I'm really stressed about Dash.
02:40Is he okay?
02:41Yeah, he's fine.
02:42But his school wants me there, so...
02:44How about if we talk about that when I'm back in Chicago for work on the 14th?
02:48Or we could talk about it in the beginning of September when I'm in New York for the rest of
02:52my life,
02:52because Lisa and I are moving back there.
02:56What?
02:57Why?
02:58For the past decade, I've been dragging Lisa around for all my teaching jobs,
03:01and she was ready to come back home.
03:02So, reunion!
03:04Right?
03:04The friend group is back!
03:06Yes!
03:13Well, this is over.
03:14Yes, I was going to say that.
03:16I think that that's best, so...
03:20So, where are we now?
03:23Oh, yeah.
03:24Oh, yeah.
03:24Will you do that?
03:25Oh, yeah.
03:30Yeah, absolutely.
03:31Darlin' don't you go and cut your hair.
03:35Do you think it's going to make him change?
03:37I'm just a boy with a new haircut.
03:41And that's a pretty nice haircut.
04:10Is everything from the waist down just a swamp?
04:13Are you living in a... I just feel like I'm wearing more clothes than I'm actually wearing some freaking lot.
04:18Take it out of here. What is happening?
04:20I don't know.
04:21Are we waiting for this truck to unload?
04:23I gotta drive, you stupid motherfucker!
04:26Do not make eye contact.
04:28I'm begging you not to be here.
04:30Hey! Don't talk to my husband like that!
04:32You come over here and you say that to my face!
04:33Don't come over here!
04:34Hey! Fuck you!
04:35I am an attorney, sir! You better watch your fucking mouth!
04:38Fuck you!
04:39Fuck you!
04:40Oh, fuck you!
04:41Fuck, honey. You got him. You got him.
04:43All right? Can we just...
04:44Honey, please.
04:45I'm sorry, sir. I apologize.
04:47Fuck you too! Drive you jackass!
04:51Thank you for your service.
04:53He's just a fucking cab driver.
04:55What? I know.
04:56It's not even our fault. There's a fucking car.
04:58I know. What's going on with you?
05:00I'm fine. I'm fine. I think I'm just anxious, you know, to see everybody.
05:03I think I'm just...
05:04You know, whenever we get together, it all just gets so competitive and immature.
05:08What? With our friends?
05:10Why would that happen? They're only our best friends.
05:12What could possibly go wrong?
05:14I know. We've got like 20 years of grievances built up and ready to explode.
05:18Now this guy's pulling out. Look at this character.
05:38You remember my partner, Felix?
05:40Hi.
05:40So nice to see you.
05:42Nice to see you.
05:43Nice to see you again, sir.
05:44Is this how we're winning each other now?
05:46What's so funny?
05:46Oh, in college, we used to grab each other's testicles.
05:51That was kind of our funny hello.
05:53Immature.
05:53A little bit?
05:54I see.
06:00So loud.
06:01All right, group photo.
06:01Group photo.
06:03I'll take it.
06:04Wait, wait, wait. Where's Sam?
06:06Oh, I don't know. She said she was going to be here.
06:08That's weird.
06:09Yeah.
06:09Friend group, back together again!
06:10One, two, three.
06:14Feel like you come in here.
06:15Oh, yeah, you did one.
06:16No, no, no, no.
06:16It doesn't make any sense.
06:18We're looking over here.
06:18We're going to have a couple.
06:19There we go, yeah.
06:20All right.
06:22Great, you guys.
06:23Good, good, good.
06:24Welcome to Moses.
06:25Yeah.
06:25Group view!
06:26Oh, beer, beer, beer, beer.
06:30That's a lot of energy.
06:31It's fun.
06:32It's fun.
06:32Very loud.
06:35Just a reminder that last week we were professional adults living in a house before we moved here
06:41and turned 19 again.
06:42Oh, it's temporary.
06:44Actually, I'm excited about sleeping on a pullout.
06:47Yeah?
06:47Yeah!
06:48Oh, my goodness.
06:49There we are.
06:50Wait a second.
06:51Oh.
06:52There's the bar.
06:55So, how are Froschi and Ethan?
06:59I don't think Lisa loves it when you call her that nickname.
07:01It's flattering.
07:02It was a dig when we were seniors and she was a freshman, but now it's a compliment.
07:06So, it has nothing to do with your affair?
07:08Hey.
07:08Keep it down.
07:10And why do you insist on calling it an affair?
07:12Because you guys are married to other people and having sex with each other?
07:16Ethan was just like a stupid college hook.
07:18It never ended.
07:20And now we've ended it.
07:21You guys had like a 20-year run.
07:23That's more than either of your marriages.
07:25Yeah.
07:25Well, I have accepted that you can't have everything you want all the time.
07:31Ethan and I are done.
07:33For good.
07:34I swear.
07:35I hope so.
07:36What is that supposed to mean?
07:37I'm tired of keeping your secret and I hate that you made it my secret too.
07:42I just want it to be normal.
07:44So do I.
07:45Why didn't you come to brunch?
07:47I don't know, okay?
07:49I don't have a plan here.
07:52This is an impossible situation.
07:55You should just call her.
07:59You're right.
08:01Ugh.
08:20Oh my god.
08:22Look at you.
08:23You're shrinking.
08:24You're like the incredible shrinking crushy.
08:26And you look so glamorous for a Tuesday afternoon.
08:30Oh, I love you.
08:30Come on.
08:32You know who I'm going to go see tomorrow?
08:34Felix.
08:35As in Max's boyfriend Felix?
08:38Professionally?
08:39Like fertility-wise?
08:40Yeah.
08:42You guys are trying to have a kid.
08:44Well, we're trying.
08:45It's not getting us anywhere.
08:46So it's time for science.
08:48Yay.
08:50Whoa.
08:51Even with a kid, it's hard to imagine.
08:54I know.
08:55I think it's hard for him to imagine too.
08:57Gosh, this bed is so comfortable.
08:59I could just fall asleep right here.
09:02I am so optimistic for you guys and just feeling so positive about this.
09:10I know what I'm going to do.
09:12I'm going to buy you this bed.
09:14What?
09:15Weird.
09:15Yeah.
09:16Happy housewarming.
09:17Wait.
09:18No, no, no.
09:18Sam.
09:19Sam.
09:19That is insane.
09:20We don't even have an apartment yet.
09:22Too late.
09:22Bed bot.
09:23Congratulations on your new bed.
09:25Also, you know what?
09:25Let me and John take you guys out for dinner tonight.
09:28This is so fun.
09:29It's awesome to have you guys here.
09:31Raul.
09:34So, first of all, I just have to tell you that I absolutely loved the first 60 pages of Before
09:40the Storm.
09:41Max, thank you so much, man.
09:43Thank you so much.
09:43It was my first stab at a more mainstream thing, and I know that I'm very fortunate and
09:47I'm blessed that critics love my books.
09:49I just want someone to read them.
09:52Because we need the money.
09:53Well, anyway, I hope it wasn't too corny.
09:56No.
09:56No.
09:57It was the opposite of corny.
09:58Oh, great.
09:58Yeah.
09:59The image boring race and class through the lens of a biracial 18 year old just months
10:03before Hurricane Katrina.
10:04Right.
10:04But without all the drama of the actual hurricane.
10:06Right.
10:06It was so you, man.
10:08It was so, it was so you.
10:11Well, thank you so much, Max.
10:12So, what happens next?
10:13I think we're at the end of the road with this book.
10:16What?
10:17I think this book is no more.
10:19You should stop writing it.
10:21What kind of sales strategy is that?
10:23Storm is my bestseller.
10:25That is not the opinion of the rest of the team.
10:28Well, why don't you go ahead and share with me what the rest of the team has to say?
10:31Because I'm more than open to a little constructive criticism.
10:34All right, because you're not always, sometimes you get a little.
10:36Is your mind sharing my thoughts with me?
10:39Because I love to hear the thoughts.
10:40All right, because you do the voices when you're uncomfortable.
10:43Let me explain something to you.
10:44Sometimes I work shocking books and everybody gets all on top of each other and it's not a problem.
10:49I'm getting the opposite feeling from you.
10:51Not a problem.
10:52That it's like a huge problem.
10:54I love to hear the thoughts, though.
10:55Okay.
10:56Well, um, I'm here.
10:58Yeah.
10:59Okay, Donna, who's in a terrible mood, by the way, she's going through a divorce.
11:03Max, please.
11:04Really boring.
11:05Really boring.
11:06She said really boring?
11:06She underlined really.
11:08Probably makes perfect sense she's getting divorced.
11:10Yeah, that's true.
11:11Keep them thoughts a-coming.
11:12All right, Patel is next up.
11:15He thought it was not entertaining at all.
11:19Mm-hmm.
11:20I hate this book so much.
11:22Mm-hmm.
11:23And he put like four O's.
11:25So much.
11:26I hate this book, he said.
11:27But look, don't worry about any of this shit.
11:29I have the answer to all your problems.
11:32I got it.
11:33I'm ready.
11:35Two letters.
11:37Y.
11:39A.
11:41Young adult.
11:42Mm-hmm.
11:42No, I don't think that's for me.
11:44I don't know.
11:44I do know because I write literary fiction for adults.
11:47Yes, I know, and you've won a whole bunch of awards for it.
11:49You've won the Penn Hemingway and the Pushcart Prize.
11:52Yes, I did.
11:52You've won a ton of shit no one's ever heard of.
11:55Well, not no one.
11:55Not no one.
11:56Look, I know this is hard to hear, but Ethan, the Great American Novel is now the massive
12:01international young adult series with film rights and merchandising.
12:05That's the future.
12:06Why are you being so agent-y right now?
12:08Look, your novels all have teenage protagonists anyway, right?
12:11So you just have to choose like a slightly more exciting genre-y way in.
12:16Okay?
12:17Okay, here's one.
12:19Vampires with cancer.
12:20Right?
12:20They live forever, they die forever.
12:22Right?
12:22Or work backwards.
12:24Start with a title, and then come up with a book.
12:26Here's one.
12:28Death Ball.
12:29What's Death Ball?
12:30I don't know, but it sounds awesome.
12:32Right?
12:32No one survives Death Ball.
12:34You and I are going to crack this, okay?
12:35Like all the stuff we wrote together in college.
12:37And it just might become the next massive international success.
12:46Oh my god!
12:48It's amazing!
12:50Max, YA is destructive, do you understand?
12:52It's all about adults who are refusing to grow up, and instead they read books that are for kids.
12:56It prevents you from moving forward and living your life, and it is destroying our culture.
13:02So it's a yes?
13:03Yes. Fuck you, it's a yes.
13:04Okay.
13:05Thank you guys so much for organizing this so last minute.
13:08This is exactly why we moved to New York, right, honey?
13:10Yep. Friend group.
13:11I found at my last reunion I didn't have that much in common with my foster friends anymore.
13:16Huh!
13:16Well, we got lucky because we consider our college friends to be our family.
13:21My family is my family.
13:25So what's your deal?
13:27Oh, this is an attorney.
13:29Honey, you've known her for ten years.
13:30Oh, that's okay.
13:31I used to work for the ACLU in Michigan.
13:33Oh, so you're a bleeding heart.
13:35Ah!
13:36Well, no, not anymore.
13:38Now I work as a general counsel for a hedge fund.
13:41Which one?
13:42Blackstool Group.
13:43Is that DeGrasso's shop?
13:45Yeah, it is, yeah.
13:46Ah, I like this one.
13:48Her name is Lisa.
13:50Lisa, pizza, pizza, pizza, Lisa, pizza.
13:52Got it.
13:54We are just so happy you guys are here.
13:56You know, if there's anything we can do to ease the transition, just let us know.
14:00So, like, maybe buy us a bed?
14:02Oh, my gosh.
14:03Oh, sorry, what?
14:04Sam and John bought us a bed today.
14:07We did.
14:07Wow, thank you, guys.
14:08That was totally unnecessary.
14:10I agree.
14:10It was just a little housewarming gift.
14:12You only have four-poster from Holly Hunt.
14:13Still weird.
14:14Anyway, enough about beds.
14:16Yeah, you know, I want to hear what Mac said about Storm.
14:18What did he say?
14:19Storm?
14:20What is, uh, Storm?
14:21Storm is this amazing novel that Ethan's been working on for the past two years.
14:25You know, I don't like fiction.
14:28No offense.
14:28None taken.
14:29My three favorite books, Liar's Poker, Moneyball, and The Big Short.
14:32Ah, right.
14:33So you're a Michael Lewis fan.
14:34Who's that?
14:36He's the...
14:36It's not, um, best-seller stuff.
14:38You know, it's, like, literary fiction.
14:40There's not a lot of money.
14:41I mean...
14:43Well, actually, uh, um, well, Max, uh, Max thinks it's gonna be a huge sale.
14:48Flagship property.
14:49Really?
14:50Nope.
14:50Mm-hmm.
14:51Really?
14:51My god, honey, that is so amazing.
14:54Yeah.
14:55Yeah.
14:56I'm so proud of you.
14:57It's gonna be big money.
14:59Yeah.
14:59You know what?
15:00Let's celebrate.
15:01You guys haven't seen our country house.
15:02You should come up and see it.
15:03I'll invite everybody up to Connecticut for the weekend, and I'm not taking no for an answer.
15:07Frosty.
15:07This is so great.
15:11Ugh.
15:12Could you believe how hard Ethan was trying to downplay his book?
15:16He was clearly so excited about it.
15:19Why can't he just admit it?
15:20It's kind of pathetic.
15:22You bought them a bed?
15:23Yes.
15:24What is the big deal?
15:25I buy bets for people every day.
15:27Yeah.
15:27With their money, not ours.
15:29I know you love your college friends, but every time you get together with them, you
15:31all become a bunch of little bitches.
15:33All this sniping and showing off.
15:35You don't have to show off to them.
15:36We don't have to compete with them.
15:38What's the girl's, uh, name?
15:40Pizza.
15:41Her name is not Pizza.
15:42It's Lisa.
15:43Right, yeah.
15:43And I'm not competing with them.
15:45I'm talking about them.
15:46I'm processing.
15:47I'm trying to download with you.
15:49Why won't you do that with me?
15:50You're making me feel crazy.
15:52They're living their lives.
15:53We're living our lives.
15:54It's irrelevant.
15:54I don't spend my time thinking about people other than us.
15:57I think about whether you're happy.
15:59I think about whether our children are happy.
16:02That's what matters to me.
16:15Yeah, so, um, we've been trying, really, for about a year now.
16:19Yeah.
16:20A year?
16:20That's it?
16:21Well, that's not very long.
16:22Why are you here?
16:23Well, we haven't used protection in, like, eight years.
16:27Eight years.
16:28I'd say eight years, yeah.
16:29All right.
16:30But that's pretty average, right, for somebody?
16:33Like, that's normal, right?
16:35Well, it's good that you're here.
16:38Yeah, right.
16:39Okay.
16:39And I see here you had one pregnancy that was terminated after six weeks.
16:43Yeah, that was in college.
16:44Before my time.
16:49Well, none of your labs look out of the ordinary, and your ultrasound look good.
16:53So, we're gonna get to the bottom of this.
16:55Oh, good.
16:56Amazing.
16:56Fantastic.
16:57And in the meantime, maybe stop grabbing each other's balls.
17:00Oh, okay, yes, I'll make a note of that.
17:02Oh.
17:03No, no, no, I was joking.
17:04When we met, you guys had your handshake, and you were grabbing each other's balls.
17:09When you met with Matt.
17:09Oh, when we met you at Marianne's, right.
17:11Yes.
17:11And don't wear a Speedo.
17:14Right.
17:15Okay.
17:15Correct.
17:15No, no, I'm being serious.
17:17Don't wear a Speedo.
17:18Oh, you're saying, okay, that's real.
17:20Correct.
17:21We understand now, I think.
17:22Press the change, or don't wear the Speedo.
17:24All right.
17:25And don't get in a hot tub.
17:30Oh, and, um, before you go, I just want to write down the cost of this after insurance,
17:37so we're all on the same page.
17:39If you have any questions, please feel free to let us know.
17:43All right.
17:45Mm-hmm.
17:46Yeah.
17:47Mm-hmm.
17:48Yeah.
17:48Okay.
17:49Yeah.
17:49All right.
17:50Yeah.
17:51Does, uh, does this include the friends and family discount?
17:56Sure.
17:58Mm-hmm.
18:00Good luck.
18:00We will talk soon.
18:01Let me know if you have any questions.
18:03Okay.
18:04Bye-bye.
18:04Talk soon.
18:05You got it.
18:06Oh, and don't get a massage.
18:08Sorry, what?
18:09Don't get a massage?
18:09Right.
18:10Okay.
18:10That's a joke.
18:11Someone said I was too rigid on a comment card.
18:14Okay.
18:16Okay, this is over.
18:17Goodbye.
18:20No, you didn't, Edward.
18:22I honestly don't know which guy I would choose.
18:27Why didn't you tell me you and Lisa were trying to have a kid?
18:32Why did you buy us a bed?
18:36Yours, Ethan.
18:40Why are you sending me texts?
18:42Delete immediately.
18:44Don't worry.
18:45This is Mary Ann's computer.
18:47Yours, Ethan.
18:50Oh, no.
18:51This is Mary Ann's computer.
18:52Yours, Ethan.
19:01Just the rabbit.
19:03No, this is so typical of Sam.
19:05We're all here living in the same city, and yet we have to schlep out to Connecticut to see her.
19:10Yeah.
19:10You'll really love her house, though.
19:12It's beautiful.
19:13Of course it's beautiful.
19:14Everything Sam touches is beautiful.
19:16God, she makes me feel so inferior, you know?
19:18Like I suck or something.
19:19It's like she's always a senior and I'm a permanent freshman.
19:22You know, she literally still calls me Froshy.
19:24I know, honey.
19:24I know.
19:25It's horrible.
19:26I just had to get them off my chest.
19:28Yeah, I know.
19:28I know.
19:29And I think Froshy's a term of endearment, to be quite honest with you.
19:32I don't think it is.
19:32I think it is, sweetheart.
19:33It's really cute.
19:36Hey, can we put the top down?
19:37Oh, that sounds fun.
19:39It's a funny story.
19:40No, I cannot.
19:42All right.
19:43Okay, you know what?
19:43I'll give it a crack.
19:44How about that?
19:44Oh, please don't.
19:47Oh!
19:48There we go.
19:50There we go.
19:53There we go.
19:55It's just stuck there, isn't it?
19:57Yeah.
19:58Do you want to drive?
19:59Yeah.
20:00No, I'll drive.
20:01Yeah.
20:01I'll drive.
20:01Seems like a car sale.
20:04Hey, can you see out the back?
20:05Nope.
20:06This seems dangerous.
20:11What are you doing?
20:16Whoa!
20:18Well, problem solved.
20:20We'll pay for that.
20:22Look at this thing.
20:24It's like we're in a Black Mirror episode.
20:26Huh.
20:28Stupid looking truck.
20:29At least it has a roof.
20:33Look at her.
20:33Look at how she's dressed.
20:34This is Black Mirror.
20:35She looks like she's in Black Mirror.
20:36It's so good to see you guys.
20:37Hey.
20:38How are you?
20:39Good.
20:40Come on in.
20:40Hi.
20:42Hey, good to see you.
20:44Yeah, me too.
20:45Come on in.
20:46Whose car is that out front?
20:47It's mine.
20:48I got it as my early 40th birthday present to myself.
20:51I don't care if you don't like it.
20:53Did you guys see that car out front?
20:54Yeah.
20:55You think it transforms into a giant asshole or what?
20:58Guys, no, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen.
21:00Guys, seriously.
21:01There are plenty of YA novels that are every bit as good as adult books.
21:04Honey, To Kill a Mockingbird gave birth to the entire genre.
21:08Harper Lee's a national treasure.
21:09Oh, I love Judy Blume.
21:10Harry Potter.
21:11I'd read one of those books every year.
21:13I mean, it's kind of all I have time for, but...
21:15You don't work.
21:16You have nothing but time.
21:18Whatever.
21:19Why don't you go get in your truck and go find Jason Bourne?
21:24Guys, J.K. Rowling's a modern-day Dickens, except better and more successful.
21:28Well, that's true.
21:28You guys, you cannot be serious.
21:31YA is not great literature.
21:33I mean, it's literally for undeveloped minds.
21:36I could not disagree with you more emphatically.
21:38Honey, Catcher in the Rye is essentially YA.
21:41That is a novel about a young person, okay?
21:44Not trash about teens in the future with bows and arrows.
21:48I mean, why do you need bows and arrows in the future?
21:50I don't...
21:51Like, I don't...
21:51I don't understand it.
21:53No, I like those Hunger Games movies starring that girl.
21:58They're exciting, but you always know they're gonna turn out okay.
22:02Oh, my God.
22:03Nobody listened to him.
22:06Well, I just think that YA is the most interesting thing happening in fiction today.
22:13What?
22:13You're here.
22:14Yeah, I do.
22:14Come on, you don't think that.
22:16And for good reason.
22:17Your last book was a New York Times notable book.
22:20I mean, you're a great writer.
22:23There's no way you can like this stuff.
22:25Ethan and I were also talking about the commercial side of publishing.
22:28Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
22:28Yes, like Storm.
22:30I mean, that is a novel for adults.
22:33And like, Max, you said, this is a flagship property.
22:36And you did that without vampires and kids running around mazes or whatever they're doing now.
22:42Well, Storm's dead.
22:43I mean, we're not gonna sell Storm.
22:46Wait, what?
22:49What?
22:50I thought...
22:52I thought that's why we were talking about YA.
22:56I'm sorry.
22:57I didn't...
22:57Never mind.
22:58I didn't...
22:59I didn't realize that you hadn't...
23:01I shouldn't have.
23:04I'm sorry, I'm confused.
23:05Why did you say that you were gonna sell it?
23:09I mean, we were out...
23:11We were out to dinner and you announced it and we all celebrated.
23:15We had champagne and...
23:16Well, we were almost at a sale of it, right?
23:18I mean, we talked about selling it and then everyone read it and decided to not...
23:25To not sell it.
23:26So why would you tell me that you sold it?
23:30Well, because I knew you were gonna overreact like this.
23:32That's why.
23:33And because all of you guys have had this expectation that was born in college when I was 18 years
23:37old
23:37that I was gonna be some kind of famous Nobel Prize winning author.
23:43I don't.
23:45I mean, I think you're pretty good, but I...
23:47But like a Nobel Prize?
23:48Yeah.
23:48Well, I'm sorry to disappoint the rest of you, all right?
23:51But it's not gonna happen, all right?
23:52I'm not gonna make this leap into the literary pantheon, which by the way, no longer exists.
23:56Can you back me up on this, Max, please?
23:57I don't know what is safe to talk about anymore.
24:00Just back me up on it.
24:01It's... it's fading.
24:02So I'm doing a YA now.
24:04That's what I'm gonna do.
24:06If you want something, uh, funny to write about a few months ago,
24:10Daschle called one of his classmates at school, uh, the C-word.
24:14Ha!
24:15Yeah.
24:16Cunt.
24:17Yeah.
24:18Mm-hmm.
24:19Oh, my God.
24:20What?
24:21Excuse me.
24:32I'm sorry about that, Ethan. I just thought you told her about Storm.
24:35It's okay.
24:36Seems like something you would tell your wife, you know? That's something you talk about.
24:40I already said it's okay.
24:41All right.
24:47Well.
24:51Yeah.
24:53What is so bad about cunt?
24:56Well, it's extremely offensive to women.
24:59Is it?
25:00Yeah.
25:01Really?
25:01Yeah, I would say so.
25:03But it's like, what can you say anymore?
25:06I feel like they've taken everything away.
25:08When they came for retarded, I said nothing.
25:12You know?
25:12Mm-hmm.
25:13When they came for that's so gay, I said nothing.
25:15But it's like, you gotta draw the line somewhere.
25:18Mm-hmm.
25:18You know?
25:19It's like, you can't take away cunt.
25:20You can't take away cunt.
25:25Such a great fucking word.
25:27Look at this.
25:31Oh.
25:32Oh, my God, that's so good.
25:37Why would you bring that Daschle thing up?
25:38That is not a funny dinner party story.
25:41It's not funny.
25:43I can't tell a story about my own son.
25:45I don't understand the code here.
25:46There's no code.
25:47I'm ashamed of Daschle's behavior.
25:49And I don't want it to be something that you dine out on.
25:51Especially around my friends.
25:53See, that's what this is about.
25:55Sorry I didn't go to Harvard with you.
25:57You get off on acting like you're too good for me whenever you're around them.
25:59And I think that's bullshit.
26:00Telling me to be quiet at my own dinner table?
26:03You're all just living in the past.
26:05You should let the past go.
26:06The present's a pretty cool place to be, dude.
26:09You know what I don't understand?
26:10I don't understand how he even knows that word.
26:13Do you use that word?
26:14Do you?
26:16Do you?
26:18Judgemental cunt is a Kid Cudi song.
26:20He heard it in my car.
26:23You're a four year old.
26:24He's four years old!
26:25It's a catchy song!
26:27He should be listening to Rafi!
26:28He prefers Kid Cudi!
26:30You and I both know Rafi sucks!
26:54He's the best!
26:55He ain't a kid!
26:56I'm a kid!
26:57He's just a kid!
26:57I know he should be.
26:59He's a kid!
27:00He's a kid!
27:01I don't know he's a kid!
27:01He always wants to know he can't walk the outside.
27:04I bought them for you, chrysler's lady, you know who I am, but now I can enter.
27:49Lisa!
27:57Lisa!
27:58Lisa!
28:02Lisa!
28:03Lisa!
28:10Lisa!
28:11Lisa!
28:14I can't do something, but don't make you think.
28:20Oh!
28:22Yes!
28:23Seal things!
28:25Seal things!
28:26Seal things!
28:28Okay.
28:32What are you doing?
28:36Cleaning up the playroom.
28:41Hey, did you lie about your book to impress me?
28:48Yes.
28:49Uh, yes I did.
28:50I did do that.
28:52One hundred percent.
28:57Did it work?
28:57One hundred percent.
29:02One hundred percent.
29:05One hundred percent.
29:06One hundred percent.
29:07Couldn't drag me away.
29:09Seal things!
29:10Seal things!
29:12Seal things!
29:13Still got it.
29:15One hundred percent.
29:18Anyway.
29:20Could drag me away.
29:26One hundred percent.
29:31A high five percent.
29:33Can drag me away.
29:38To a high five percent.
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