00:05Are you sure you don't want to go skating with us?
00:08Yeah, come on, Dad.
00:09Nah, no thanks.
00:10I'm too tired.
00:13You were right, Inherit.
00:15He is a lazy sack of potatoes.
00:21I, uh, I said it with love.
00:23Come on, let's go.
00:24Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:27Hey, I worked a double shift last night.
00:29I said I'm dead tired.
00:30All I want to do is I want to dent this couch.
00:33Well, you're certainly out built for the job.
00:55When you get back out, I thought I was going to die.
00:59I was like, dang.
01:10Carl.
01:12Carl.
01:13Carl.
01:14Oh, what?
01:17Where's the furniture?
01:19What furniture, Harriet?
01:21Exactly.
01:23What?
01:24Wait a second.
01:27What the?
01:29What?
01:35What?
01:37What?
01:38What?
01:38What?
01:38Where's the furniture?
01:41My God, we've been robbed.
01:43Let's check the rest of the house.
01:45Okay.
01:47I'm going to call the police.
01:49What?
01:49What?
01:49I am the police.
01:53Rachel, if the other guys find out that I, well, that I slept through the robbery of my own home,
01:58I'll be a laughing stock.
02:01Anyhow, Wimplows.
02:09Wait a minute.
02:12My parents tried this once.
02:16Tried what?
02:18You're moving and you're not telling me.
02:33It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper page.
02:40Love and tradition of the grand design, some people say, it's even harder to find.
02:48Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.
02:55Cause all I see is a tower of dreams, real love bursting out of every scene.
03:03As days go by, we're going to fill our house with happiness.
03:11The moon may cry, but we'll smother the blues with tenderness.
03:18As days go by, there's room for you, room for me, for gentle hearts and opportunity.
03:27As days go by, there's room for you, room for you, room for you, room for you, room for you,
03:38room for you.
03:57You find any prints, Al?
03:59Nope.
04:00But don't worry, sleeping beauty, someday your prints will come.
04:12Oh, cute, Al. Real cute.
04:14Be a long time before you make sergeant.
04:21So, Rip Van Winslow.
04:25I'm almost finished with this robbery report.
04:27Can you give me a description of the perpetrators?
04:31Oh, yeah.
04:32I forgot.
04:33You were asleep.
04:39That's it.
04:40Get it all out.
04:41Get it all out.
04:42That's right.
04:43I'm sorry to pressure you, Winslow, but I gotta get this info before you doze off again.
04:51Okay.
04:53All right.
04:54Make your little jest at my expense.
04:56But I will have the last laugh.
05:00And do you know why I will have the last laugh?
05:04Because you're so well-rested?
05:10Hear me, and remember, I will find my furniture.
05:17I will track down the lowlife or lowlifes who dare do this dirty deed to me.
05:23And they will pay.
05:25And all of my fellow officers will say,
05:31Hey, Sarge, you are one heck of a cop.
05:34And they will circle around me in a giant donut of admiration.
05:45Winslow, I've misjudged you.
05:47You're not the kind of guy who takes things lying down.
05:49That's right.
05:49No, Sury.
05:51You're the kind of guy who lies down while other people take things.
06:09Here, read the study questions.
06:13Number one, define inert gas.
06:19Man, I don't have a clue.
06:22Me neither.
06:24But once my father had it so bad, he had to go to the hospital.
06:31Hi, guys.
06:32Steve, I'm so glad to see you.
06:35Really?
06:36Well, you may find this hard to believe, Eddo,
06:39but that's the first time in my entire life I've ever heard that phrase.
06:45We're studying for the big chemistry exam tomorrow.
06:48Oh, good.
06:49No, it isn't.
06:50I'm way behind.
06:51I'm going to flunk big time.
06:53Oh, don't be a fuddy-duddy.
06:55I'll be your study buddy.
07:05Steve, I could study all night and I'd still flunk.
07:07Look, I'm a dead man.
07:11Unless.
07:13Unless what?
07:15Unless maybe you'd be willing to help me.
07:18Well, I just told you, Eddo.
07:20Me noggin' and Sue noggin'.
07:24No, what I meant is maybe you could help me during the test.
07:30Cheating?
07:30Cheating?
07:32Shhh.
07:33I prefer to call it sharing.
07:37Well, I, for one, am appalled.
07:41Why are you upset, Waldo?
07:43Cheating is wrong, Eddie, and you should know that.
07:48I may get Fs, but by God, I earned them.
07:55I never thought I'd see the day when I actually agreed with Waldo Geraldo Faldo.
08:03Now, Eddo, I want you to forget this cheating nonsense post-pronto.
08:07But why?
08:09Eddo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants.
08:14Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem.
08:21But it won't become a habit, Steve.
08:23Help me just this once and I promise from now when I'll actually study.
08:26Ah, nope, no way. Sorry, ain't gonna happen.
08:30Steve, I have nowhere else to turn.
08:32I need you, buddy.
08:35Will you come through for me?
08:37Please?
08:46All right, I'll do it.
08:48Yes!
08:49But one time and only on one condition.
08:52Anything.
08:53You have to promise to study chemistry with me night and day until you're caught up.
08:58You got it.
08:59Thanks, Steve.
09:00Now we need a plan.
09:03Hey, here's one.
09:04How about you give me the answers?
09:07Clever, but will it work?
09:17Now, wait a minute.
09:20The test is multiple choice.
09:22Mm-hmm.
09:22Huh, so we'll need a secret code.
09:24Hmm.
09:25A way of communicating that will appear to be normal, everyday behavior.
09:30Oh, oh, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
09:32Hello, I've got it.
09:36If the answer is A, I'll sneeze.
09:39Huh?
09:40Huh?
09:41Ah-chee!
09:44And if the answer is B, I'll subtly cough.
09:47Ah!
09:49And if the answer is C, I'll blow my nose.
09:52Pfft!
09:54And if the answer is D, I'll hiccup.
09:56Hiccup!
09:58Great!
09:59That's perfect!
10:00Oh, yes, it's perfect.
10:01And to the teacher, it will appear that I merely have the common goal.
10:05Mm.
10:06Steve, you are a genius!
10:09Ha-ha!
10:12Oh.
10:13Then why do I feel so dirty?
10:23Steve, what's with you?
10:24Oh, Waldo, I've come down with this awful goal.
10:33All right, everybody in your seats.
10:35Let's go.
10:37Huh?
10:39All right.
10:40I put the tests on your desk, face down.
10:43Now, no one turn them over until it's...
10:46So nice of you to join us, Mr. Winslow.
10:48Ah, sorry I'm so late, sir, that I was studying real hard.
10:51Well, glad to hear it.
10:53Sit down.
10:58Pfft!
11:01Pfft!
11:03Pfft!
11:03Pfft!
11:04Mr. Urkel?
11:06Have you sprung some sort of leak?
11:09Uh, no, sir.
11:11Sorry, sir.
11:14All right.
11:15Turn your papers over.
11:17We have 40 minutes beginning now.
11:27Oh.
11:29Oh.
11:31Oh.
11:33Ow.
11:35Oh.
11:35Mm.
11:43Oh, my God.
12:08Mr. Hercule, are we having a problem controlling our bodily fluids?
12:15Well, well, I certainly am, sir. I woke up this morning with a cold.
12:24And you decided to bring it into us for show and tell.
12:29Good one.
12:30Oh.
12:35Hey, Steve. Good cover.
12:38I'm not covering it, O. I really did wake up this morning with a cold.
12:43No talking.
13:09Steve, please help. Give me the answers to the test.
13:28What might this be, Mr. Hercule?
13:32Well, this looks like the answers to the test.
13:381A, 2C, 3B.
13:42Cut that out!
13:50Well, Mr. Hercule, whom were you helping to cheat?
13:59I'm waiting.
14:04I want you to go straight to the principal's office and give him one good reason why he shouldn't expel
14:11you for cheating.
14:38I want you to go straight to the principal's office and give him one good night.
14:39I want you to go straight to the principal's office.
14:39I'm waiting.
14:39I'm waiting.
14:40I'm waiting.
14:41I don't know if you have any good shit.
14:51I'm home, Harriet, and the subject is closed.
14:57So you didn't find our furniture?
15:00Great. Look what you've gone and done.
15:02You've gone and opened up the subject.
15:08Carol, I'm tired of sitting on these lawn chairs.
15:10My butt's starting to look like the top of a cherry pie.
15:16Harriet, this whole thing is starting to get to me.
15:19I'm starting to doubt myself.
15:21Carl, what do you mean?
15:23Well, I mean, I can't believe I slept through the whole robbery.
15:26This is not like me. I'm a light sleeper.
15:29I got the reflexes of a jungle cat.
15:37That's true, Carl.
15:38Carl, you know, I remember when the kids were little
15:41and needed their middle-of-the-night feeding.
15:43You were the first one to wake up and say,
15:46Harriet, get up and feed the kids.
15:52So, big bro, you gonna haul your ugly, guilty mug
15:55down to the principal's office and come clean?
15:58Hadn't planned on it.
16:03Well, why not?
16:05Laura, one person is already in trouble.
16:09If I confess, two people will be in trouble.
16:13All that does is put more people in trouble.
16:16I wouldn't be able to live with that.
16:20Eddie, you forced Steve to cheat.
16:22And now when he needs you, you leave him high and dry.
16:26Eddie, Steve was a real friend to you,
16:27and it's about time you returned the favor.
16:31God, I love you.
16:39You're right.
16:41This whole thing is my fault.
16:45Tomorrow morning, I'll go down to Principal Shimada's office
16:48and I'll tell him the truth.
16:52Thanks, Eddo.
16:55I think it'd come through.
17:14A little shot of this gas,
17:17and Winslow will be sleeping like a baby.
17:20Why are we robbing the same place twice?
17:23I thought we got everything.
17:25Humiliation, my dim-witted friend.
17:29Carl Winslow nailed me at the peak of my career.
17:33You should have seen me, Ned.
17:34I was slick and sinewy.
17:37I could slip through a house like thread
17:40through the eye of a needle.
17:43Must have been when homes were a lot bigger, huh?
17:47Ned, come here.
17:51Ow!
17:54Carl Winslow ruined my life.
17:57Do you know what 12 long years
17:59in a federal penitentiary can do to a man?
18:01Turn him into a twisted,
18:03demented sociopath like yourself?
18:09Hey,
18:10I was a legend once,
18:12and I could be a legend again.
18:14You stick with me, Ned?
18:16One day,
18:18they'll write a song about us.
18:21Gee, I hope it's not rap.
18:23I hate rap.
18:48Dad?
18:50Can we talk to you for a minute?
18:51Sure.
18:52Sit down.
18:53Make yourselves uncomfortable.
18:59What's up?
19:00Well, actually, this is Eddie's story.
19:02All you'll hear from me is an occasional,
19:04mm-hmm, that's right.
19:07That's enough, Steve.
19:08Mm-hmm, that's right.
19:13Dad, I did something really stupid at school,
19:16and I'm going to get in trouble for it.
19:18So I thought I should let you know about it
19:20before you get a call from the principal.
19:22Uh-oh.
19:23This sounds serious.
19:26What'd you do?
19:26Well, I...
19:29I...
19:31I...
19:32I cheated on my test.
19:36Mm-hmm.
19:38Uh...
19:39Hey, that's right.
19:42You cheated?
19:46There.
19:47You cheated?
19:53Yes, sir.
19:54Edward, I can't remember
19:57the last time I've been so angry.
20:01And sleepy.
20:05I'm sleepy, too.
20:08Mm-hmm.
20:10That's right.
20:21Don't try anything,
20:23otherwise you'll get another taste of my shovel.
20:25Take it easy.
20:25I'm a bleeder.
20:30You cheated?
20:32You're grounded.
20:39Get over there!
20:42Terbium, 158.92 TB.
20:45Terbium, 158.92 TB.
20:49Disprosium, 162.50 DY.
20:52Dispr...
20:53Dis...
20:54Man, this...
20:55This stinks!
20:57Can we take a break
20:59from this chemistry stuff?
21:00Negatory, Eddo.
21:02Now, we have to be able to recite
21:03the periodic table of the elements
21:05before Mr. Shimada
21:06will lift our suspension.
21:07And I want to get back to school.
21:10I simply crave academic nourishment.
21:16Now, where were we?
21:17Ah, hold, ma'am.
21:19My personal fave.
21:22164.93 HO.
21:24169 point...
21:26something.
21:26Now!
21:39Okay, yeah,
21:40put it right down there.
21:41Look, yeah.
21:41To the left a little bit.
21:42Yeah, right there.
21:43Drop it.
21:44That's it.
21:45That's it.
21:47Okay.
21:49Oh, gee.
21:51That looked heavy.
21:57Yeah, right there.
22:04You got it.
22:05Oh, gee.
22:08Yeah, you walked away.
22:20You got it.
22:23You got it.
22:26Yeah, right here!
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