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مسلسل Bob's Burgers مترجم - Episode 13
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00:21Bob's Burgers
00:22Bob's Burgers, fresh ground meat, great atmosphere!
00:25Gene, bring it in!
00:27Get out of that burger suit. We're going. Baseball waits for no one.
00:31It smells like urine. Did you pee in that?
00:33I had to go!
00:34I told you not to pee in it after I cleaned up the lawn.
00:36I'm the only one who wears it. What's the difference?
00:39Oh my God.
00:39What, you don't want to buy burgers from a guy who smells like pee?
00:42No one can place where it's coming from.
00:44I can't believe you'll close the restaurant to go to a baseball game.
00:47Louise, this isn't just a game. We bought an ad at the ballpark that's worth closing for, right?
00:52Oh, I can't wait to see it! It's gonna be so exciting! We're famous!
00:56It looks like a hot dog wrapper stuck in the net.
00:58Like a really tiny hot dog.
01:01I did think it was gonna be a little bigger.
01:02I think more people would see your ad if it was a urinal cake.
01:05Are you kidding? I wish I could afford a urinal cake ad.
01:08All this talk about cake is making me hungry.
01:10I'm gonna flag down the ice cream sandwich guy.
01:12Hey!
01:14Play ball!
01:15Welcome to opening day of minor league baseball.
01:18Let's hear it for your wonderwarf wonder dogs.
01:22Please give a big wonder dog welcome to Phenom, the Korean bunt specialist.
01:27I never realized baseball had so much butt touching.
01:30That's how they communicate, Tina. It's like braille, but with butts.
01:34Read my butt!
01:37Mmm, I'm bored.
01:39Boredom. Boring sports.
01:41Hey, it's the seventh inning stretch. Time for the mascot race.
01:44Well, hello!
01:45Please welcome the owner of the wonder dogs, Mr. Calvin Fishotter Fish!
01:51It's that time. Now cheer for your favorite mascot.
01:55Mr. Fishotter owns the team?
01:57He owns the ballpark, the team, wonderwarf.
01:59I'm gonna marry that man.
02:01No, you're not.
02:01I wanna be rich!
02:03Don't be frightened! I have a gun! So get set!
02:09Where has this sport been all my life?
02:11You know, I wear the burger costume all the time.
02:14Maybe I could race in one of these races, Dad!
02:16I bet it's impossible to get in, Gene. I'm sure you gotta know someone.
02:19You do! It's Mr. Fishotter, our landlord!
02:22Well, I can't ask a favor of a guy I've never paid rent on time to.
02:26Here is son, Gene. He'll ask him.
02:28Yay!
02:28I will.
02:29Now, taking the mound to pitch, former major league sensation, Torpedo Jones!
02:33That can't be the same Torpedo...
02:35Kids, that's THE Torpedo Jones!
02:37I can't believe he's still playing. God, he must be my age.
02:41I speak for everyone here when I say, I don't know what a Torpedo Jones is.
02:45Let me tell you, nobody...
02:46We don't care!
02:47Gene, let me finish.
02:48Nobody...
02:48That's what I was trying to prevent!
02:50Nobody pitched like Torpedo.
02:52I was there for his greatest moment. The pitch.
02:55It was 15 years ago, but I remember it like it was 10.
02:59His pitch was the split-finger skadooch.
03:02Torpedo clinched the pennant for us with that pitch.
03:05If he's so good, why have we never heard of this guy?
03:07Well, because he didn't last long in the bigs. You know, the skadooch is just one of those pitches.
03:11When it was on, it was really on, but when it wasn't, it's like hitting candy out of a baby's
03:18hand with a bat.
03:20Wait, you mean it's hard because baby's hands are so small?
03:23No, it's easy because...
03:24How could you hit a baby?
03:25Nobody would hit a baby's hand with a bat in real life.
03:27I don't understand. Was he fired from the bigs because he hit a baby with a bat?
03:30I'm not interested in talking to you.
03:34Sorry, Gene. I don't see fish odor anywhere. Let's get going.
03:37That's all right. I only wanted to do it really, really bad.
03:40Oh, there's Torpedo!
03:42Dad, ask Torpedo about the mascot races. Maybe he can get Gene in.
03:46Yeah!
03:46Kids, come on. I can't bother Torpedo. He's like my role model.
03:49Oh, that's creepy. Your role model is the same age as you?
03:53I would never have another nine-year-old as my role model.
03:56Hey, Torpedo! My dad is a huge scout for the Baseball League of America!
04:02Kidding, but he has a favor to ask you.
04:06I'm a huge fan. You know, I was there for the pitch.
04:10So, what can I do for you?
04:11Picture? Autograph?
04:12Three bucks each. Both for five.
04:14Uh, yeah. Both would be great.
04:17Dad!
04:18Oh, and my kid wants to run in the mascot race. You don't think...
04:21Hey, Russell! Some kid here wants to run in a mascot race.
04:25For you, Torpedo, I'll make it happen.
04:27I gotta free up one of these outfits.
04:30No, you don't. I got my own.
04:31It's a burger.
04:32Easy enough.
04:33Thanks a lot, Torpedo.
04:34Good luck out there, sport.
04:36Linda, did you hear that? Torpedo Jones called me sport.
04:39He didn't call you sport. He called Gene sport.
04:41No, he was looking right at me.
04:43Yeah, he called me sport and he tussled my hair.
04:46It was great, Gene. You were great.
04:47I'm a great tussle receiver.
04:50Wow, wearing the burger suit in the mascot race, Gene.
04:53That's advertising, huh?
04:55Don't touch me!
04:59It was so nice to Torpedo to give us these seats so we could watch Gene's race.
05:04We could really make out the players' tattoos from here.
05:07Makes you wonder about the tattoos we can't see on their butts.
05:11How you doing, Gene? You feeling fast?
05:12No. I feel queasy.
05:15Got some butterflies, Ace?
05:16Torpedo!
05:16Want my advice, kid? It's a mascot race.
05:20All you gotta do is stay on your feet.
05:22Let the other guys trip over themselves.
05:24It's time for the mascot race!
05:27Hoo-wee!
05:28Goody.
05:29Remember, you're an ambassador for our restaurant, so just try and run well, because you don't run well.
05:34Good luck out there, sport.
05:35Oh.
05:36Yeah, I thought earlier you called me sport, so...
05:38No, that was nicknamed for the kid there, Flash.
05:40I'll take Flash.
05:41Kids, call me Flash from now on.
05:43Let's split the diff and call you Kiki.
05:45Kiki! I like it!
05:46Oh, Torpedo, here's a little thank you for getting Gene in the race.
05:50I make burgers for a living, so it's not weird for me to give you this.
05:54I don't think it's weird at all, Bob.
05:56Like a good burger.
05:58Mmm, that's a good burger.
05:59Finish this guy back on a mound.
06:02Ha!
06:02Torpedo Jones just said I make a good burger.
06:05I want that on my tombstone.
06:06Seriously, okay?
06:07No, I already got your tombstone picked out for you.
06:09What?
06:10What is it?
06:11Says order up.
06:12That's good.
06:13Let's go with that one.
06:14Joining your Wonder Wharf mascots today is a special guest food.
06:18A burger!
06:19A boy who is also a burger.
06:21And I have my gun!
06:23Ready...
06:25Set...
06:26Go get him, Gene!
06:28I reinforced the crotch so he wouldn't tear it.
06:31Win, Gene!
06:32Avenge Dad's death!
06:35Down goes Sammy Sea Lion!
06:39Ooh, it's a two mascot race.
06:41Burger and Captain Pelican.
06:43There they go.
06:44Like two fast-fiery...
06:49The burger is your winner!
06:53Hooray!
06:54Yeah!
06:54Yeah!
06:55Yeah!
06:56Well, congratulations, young burger.
06:58Ladies and gentlemen, you can purchase delicious burgers that look somewhat like him right here at the park.
07:03And at my family's restaurant.
07:05And at my family's restaurant.
07:05And, uh, what's the name of that restaurant?
07:08Ah!
07:09It's...
07:10It's...
07:11God!
07:11I'm there every day!
07:13Bob's Burgers!
07:13Bob's Burgers!
07:14Gene!
07:15Never mind, never mind.
07:17That's okay.
07:17We can get everything you expect from a burger at whatever the name of his restaurant is.
07:23Bob's Burgers!
07:23Oh, oh!
07:23I just remembered!
07:24I just remembered!
07:24It's too late, but you can get them here at the park today!
07:27Say it!
07:29I won something!
07:30I won!
07:30I won!
07:31I won something!
07:32Yeah, and you didn't fall down like everyone else.
07:34Tell that to your grandkids.
07:35I will!
07:36Gene, are you kidding me?!
07:37The name of the restaurant is Bob's Burgers!
07:40Well, I call you Dad!
07:42I think of it as Dad's Burgers!
07:44You live above it!
07:45You work in it every day!
07:47Bob, calm down.
07:48Calm down.
07:49I'm sorry, Dad.
07:49Calm down, calm down.
07:50You did great.
07:51You did great, Gene.
07:52A gold medal!
07:53Oh, we should get that bronzed!
07:59Torpedo Splitfinger Skadooch has suddenly started clicking.
08:02I love that burger.
08:04Here's Bob.
08:05Hey, after the game, let's all go to Bob's Burgers.
08:10Now, that's advertising, huh?
08:15I'm superstitious about this.
08:16Yeah, it's baseball.
08:18Super stupid.
08:19Oh, Angel!
08:20Do they call you that because you're such a good boy?
08:23There are many bad things to escape Cuba.
08:26Things that haunt me in the dark of the night.
08:28Aww!
08:29How about another beer?
08:31Man, you kids got a great dad, you know that?
08:33One wife, one family.
08:35That's the way to do it.
08:36You know, in the majors, most guys got a whole bunch of families
08:39spread out over the 50 states.
08:41When spring training starts, you get your Florida wife.
08:43When it's regular season, it's open season, if you know what I'm talking about.
08:47You kiss your home field wife and kids goodbye.
08:49You tell them you'll miss them, and you do.
08:51But you still take some of their toys and re-gift them for your away kids.
08:54I bet you're a great dad.
08:56And three great husbands.
08:58Mr. Torpedo, I couldn't help but notice that the ball boy was looking a little lethargic.
09:03Yeah, he's got lupus or rickets or something.
09:05I don't know why we keep giving that job to these sick kids.
09:08I was wondering if I could offer my services.
09:10I'm very healthy.
09:13Okay, okay, okay.
09:14Whoa, whoa.
09:15Hey, you got the job.
09:16Just stop doing that.
09:17Here's your first ball girl duty.
09:19Bring me one of your dad's burgers before every game.
09:21Okay.
09:24Here's the chewing tobacco you wanted.
09:26And your comic books.
09:29Titanga Unicita displays Del Pardito par Ram Plaza El Faltante Fia de Mez.
09:37And, um, is it possible to be in love with 25 people at once?
09:41You're my favorite.
09:43Don't tell Angel.
09:44He's fiery.
09:48Strike three!
09:50Sound the alarm because Torpedo is on fire!
09:53Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
09:54Fire, fire, fire!
09:56Not a good idea, Burt.
09:57It's a crowded stadium.
09:59That Torpedo is amazing.
10:01Has he always been this good?
10:02No, he hasn't been good in a long time.
10:04He says my burgers have helped him pitch better.
10:06Ha!
10:06Does a burger help someone pitch better?
10:08Here go Bob.
10:09Little souvenir.
10:10Haha.
10:11Thanks, buddy.
10:12Oh, slippery.
10:13It's greasy, huh?
10:16What does this smell like?
10:17Hey, stop sniffing Torpedo's balls.
10:20Get it? It's like you're in love with him.
10:23Wait, that's our burger.
10:25Oh, crap. Torpedo's putting my grease on the ball.
10:28That's how his skadooch is skadooching so much.
10:30Your hero's using your burger grease to win. That's great.
10:34No, Lin. Torpedo is using my burger grease to cheat.
10:38Oh.
10:45So you helped Torpedo cheat.
10:47That means the Wonder Dogs keep coming to the restaurant and bringing all sorts of business with them.
10:51I say big whoop. Let the old man throw a greasy skadooch.
10:56I don't even know what to think about this.
10:58I gotta go take a leak.
11:00Oh, get me an ice cream and a mini helmet!
11:04Bob, you look glum.
11:06Oh, I, uh, you don't hold when you pee.
11:11Why? He's not going anywhere.
11:13Okay.
11:14Um, well, what if you found out that someone you knew was doing something sort of bad and you were
11:19helping them do that sort of bad thing?
11:21Is it me? Is it abortions?
11:23Wait, what?
11:24Uh, what were you saying?
11:25Torpedo Jones is greasing the ball and he's using my grease to do it.
11:29Mm-mm.
11:30Oh.
11:31Come walk with me.
11:33Come behind the scenes.
11:36Torpedo's dazzling pitching is putting more butts in seats than this stadium can handle.
11:41Is the roller coaster going to be okay without those huge planks of wood?
11:45Sure, sure.
11:46These people aren't paying for extra wood, Bob.
11:49No one wants to ride extra wood mountain.
11:52Whoa, watch out!
11:53Extra nuts and bolts.
11:55People come to baseball games for the same reason they come to the amusement park.
11:59To be entertained!
12:01Does it really matter if the games are rigged?
12:03No!
12:04The games are rigged?
12:05Yes!
12:06Oh, my wonder dog is hanging out.
12:08Yes, yes it is.
12:10I got so caught up in our conversation I forgot to zip.
12:13Yeah, I didn't want to say anything.
12:14Why not?
12:15I...
12:15Compliments are welcome.
12:17Where was I?
12:17You were saying the games are rigged.
12:20Yes!
12:20The games are all rigged.
12:26I'm not letting my kids play these games anymore.
12:28But look at these smiling faces.
12:30Just like those smiling faces.
12:32Smiling at every skadooch the torpedo throws.
12:36They don't want to know, Bob.
12:37They don't want to look behind the curtain.
12:40I don't know.
12:41It just seems like bad karma or something.
12:43Karma?
12:44There's no such thing as karma.
12:47Not in this town.
12:50Oh, just kick him.
12:51Kick him right into the ocean.
12:52Okay.
12:53That's it.
12:56Wait, why does Tornado want our old grease in a jar?
12:59It's Torpedo, Gene.
13:00Oh.
13:01It helps him pitch better.
13:02And don't forget, it's a secret.
13:04Why?
13:04Is it against the rules?
13:06Technically, yes.
13:07So then it's cheating.
13:07No, what it is, is helping people enjoy baseball more.
13:11It's entertainment.
13:13I'm confused.
13:14Are you and Mom getting divorced?
13:15What?
13:16Oh my God, you are.
13:17I call Mom!
13:18I call Dad!
13:18You guys took both of them.
13:20Enough.
13:20Go fill the condiments.
13:21I call ketchup!
13:22I call Mustard.
13:23Oh.
13:24You can do horse riders.
13:25There's no...
13:25Okay.
13:26Thanks, Bobby.
13:27Hey, who wants a burger on a Torpedo?
13:30Hooray!
13:32Gene, you're defending your title.
13:34Are you nervous?
13:34Why don't you ask my diarrhea?
13:36You should be nervous.
13:38You're a chubby kid in a mascot suit.
13:40That's what I'm saying.
13:42I should cheat.
13:43Dad says it's okay when it's for entertainment.
13:45That's right.
13:46Let's cheat!
13:47You see that, Pelican?
13:48Yeah.
13:48You're running, right?
13:49You have a switchblade taped to your shoe.
13:52He does?
13:52He will.
13:53And on your other shoe, you'll have a lemon.
13:55Stab!
13:56Stab!
13:57Stab!
13:57Sting!
13:57Sting!
13:58Sting!
13:58Sting!
13:58What are you doing?
13:59I'm squeezing lemon into your wound!
14:02Sweet baby blade foot!
14:03Or I can give him a nudge and tip him over.
14:07Ugh, really?
14:08Yeah, he's top-heavy.
14:09I'll just give him a little tippity-tap.
14:11Well, I'm still gluing a knife to my foot.
14:15Hey, Gene!
14:16Go, Gene!
14:17Get away, son!
14:20Tippity-tap.
14:23It's a green mascot pileup.
14:25Go, Gene!
14:26All right, go!
14:27The boy burger wins again!
14:30How about that?
14:31Hey, how about this, Bill?
14:35I don't know, Bird.
14:36I'm not so sure about that.
14:38Yay!
14:39I won!
14:39I won again!
14:40My brother won.
14:42Guys, take off your shirts.
14:46Good arm-pumping, baby!
14:48That's how I disguised the push.
14:49What push?
14:50You pushed the cotton candy mascot so he'd fall over.
14:53Hooray for cheating.
14:54Gene, how could you?
14:55You know that's wrong.
14:56Uh-uh-uh.
14:57Not when it's entertainment.
14:58You said it yourself.
15:00You told them cheating is okay?
15:01No, I didn't, Linda.
15:03Yes, he did!
15:05Oh, Bobby!
15:06Oh, crap.
15:06Go get me a soft serve.
15:08I'm making a swirl!
15:15Look, Gene, when I said it's okay to cheat, I meant for Torpedo, not for you to cheat in
15:19your mascot race.
15:20You should really give back one of those medals.
15:22Oh, but I want to get a picture of you wearing them before you do.
15:25I'm not giving back my medals!
15:27Those suckers got their money's worth, Pops.
15:29I'm good for business, Dad!
15:30You know what?
15:31From now on, there'll be no more cheating.
15:32Does that mean I shouldn't give Torpedo this grease?
15:35That's right, Tina.
15:36Yes!
15:36No more cheating for anyone in this house!
15:39From now on, I won't wear my tummy tuck jeans.
15:42And, goodbye, Brazilian.
15:44Hello, Rainforest.
15:47Sorry, Dad.
15:48But if I win tomorrow, I'll be the first mascot ever to win three races in a row.
15:54I'm a top!
15:54You mean you're on top.
15:56No, I'm on top!
15:58Ah!
16:01Phew!
16:02I was starting to think maybe you were going to leave me high and dry here.
16:04Well, what's in this jar is worth the wait.
16:07What the?
16:07You don't need to cheat.
16:09You can win without me.
16:11If you try your hardest, you've already won.
16:13Love Bob's grease.
16:15That's right, Torpedo.
16:16You can win without my grease.
16:17It just took me believing in you.
16:19Now, listen.
16:20Gene's about to race, and since you're his role model, I'm hoping you'll tell Gene he
16:24can win without cheating, just like you.
16:26Who the hell's Gene?
16:27That's my son.
16:29You're his role model, and you're my role model, too.
16:31What?
16:32I can't be your role model.
16:34We're the same age.
16:35What's this mean?
16:35You cut me off, Bobbo?
16:37Torpedo.
16:37I'm cutting you free.
16:39Come here.
16:40Wait, what are you going to do?
16:40I'm going to hug you.
16:41Slow down here, tiger.
16:43Guess I'll have to make this grease last the whole season.
16:45You know, I should have never given you my grease.
16:47I created a monster.
16:49You think you started my greasing?
16:50I've always cheated, Bobby.
16:53Not the pitch.
16:54Oh, definitely the pitch.
16:56That game, I had a pat of butter in my right nostril.
16:59Sex jelly in my armpit.
17:01Hell, I was on prescription drugs to stimulate production of earwax.
17:04And the pitch?
17:06That was courtesy of some black market whale blubber.
17:08I bought off some Eskimos.
17:10Cute note, though, Bob.
17:11Bit of advice.
17:12If you want a role model, pick an old guy.
17:15By the time you grow up, they're dead.
17:19Didn't go great.
17:20Gene!
17:20I'm sure it was fine.
17:21Torpedo seems like a reasonable guy.
17:23Torpedo Jones wants you out of his seats this second.
17:26What a schmuck.
17:27Gene!
17:29It's the seventh inning stretch.
17:31Mascots are lining up.
17:33All right, maybe I have an idea.
17:35Hi, fellas.
17:36I'd love to say a few words to my son, the burger, over the PA.
17:39Excuse me.
17:40Okay.
17:41Highly unusual.
17:42Doesn't matter.
17:43None of this matters.
17:44Gene!
17:45Up here!
17:46Jesus?
17:47No, Gene, it's your father.
17:49I'm up here.
17:50You're dead?
17:51Yes.
17:53No, I'm kidding.
17:55I'm up here in the booth.
17:57Right here.
17:57See me?
17:58Boy, this microphone smells like beer.
18:00Well, let's just say AA was a waste of time.
18:04Winning isn't everything, Gene.
18:05Yes, we're all here to be entertained, but if you cut corners now, the next thing you know,
18:10you'll be hiding lard in your nose or taking wood out of roller coasters.
18:16Hey, all right.
18:17That's enough of that.
18:18Let's start the race.
18:20I'm trying to talk to my son.
18:22Gene, run clean.
18:23On your mark.
18:24Gene, what are you going to do?
18:25I don't know.
18:27You're going to cheat.
18:28That's what you're going to do.
18:29You're going to win by cheating.
18:36Who wants to see the burger win three in a row?
18:39Gene, listen to me.
18:40You know what to do.
18:42Bob, triple crown for burger.
18:44Good for your business.
18:46See?
18:47No, Gene.
18:48Don't worry about the advertising.
18:50What are you doing?
18:51It's a starter's pistol.
18:52It's a real gun.
18:52You should get down.
18:53What?
18:54Stop shooting.
18:55This is crazy.
18:56Oh, good.
18:57He stopped.
18:58He's just out of bullets.
18:59And down goes Cotton Candy.
19:00It's a two-mascot race.
19:02Gene, do the right thing.
19:04Yeah.
19:05You can win on your own, Gene.
19:06Probably.
19:13All right.
19:14Fine.
19:17Whoa, whoa.
19:18Don't push him.
19:19He's going to push you.
19:20Congratulations to Captain Pell Akin.
19:23Oh, Gene.
19:24Sorry, buddy.
19:24I mean, it looks like karma caught up to you.
19:27Bob, I told you there's no such thing as karma.
19:30Uh, yes, there is.
19:31No, I'm afraid there isn't.
19:33I'm afraid there is.
19:34Is not.
19:49Oh, crap.
19:51See, Gene, this is what happens when you cheat.
19:54That was incredible.
19:56Cheating is amazing!
19:58Oh, Bob?
19:59Oh, uh, hi.
20:01Sorry about your roller coaster.
20:03Ah, roller coasters come and go.
20:05But Bob's are once in a lifetime.
20:08I admire you.
20:10You do?
20:10You remind me of my father.
20:12He was honest, and he worked hard.
20:14You an immigrant, Bob?
20:15Um, no.
20:17Just swarthy?
20:18I guess.
20:18What's swarthy?
20:20Um, dark and hairy.
20:21That's you, and me in the future.
20:24Well, unlike you, my father made a fortune.
20:26But in many other ways, you guys are the same.
20:29Two decent, swarthy peas in a pod.
20:32One rich, and one just scraping by.
20:36Thanks.
20:36Well, we're off to get a massage.
20:38Come on, Wonder Dog.
20:40Down, boy.
20:41He's gone, Dad.
20:42My future husband's gone.
20:44You drove him away!
20:45Hey, Tina, what you got there?
20:47The team signed a ball so I'd have something to remember them by,
20:50and I took this jockstrap.
20:53Okay, sweetie, let's throw that in the wash.
20:55No.
20:56Come on, give it to me.
20:57Do you know how many venereal diseases those baseball players have?
21:00I don't care.
21:01Whose was it?
21:02Smells like Angel.
21:03Angel.
21:04But don't tell Fina.
21:07Ladies and gentlemen, you can purchase delicious burgers that look somewhat like him
21:11right here at the park.
21:13And at my family's restaurant.
21:15And, uh, what's the name of that restaurant?
21:18Ah, it's, it's, God, I'm there every day.
21:23Bob's Burgers!
21:23Bob's Burgers!
21:24God.
21:25Gene!
21:25Never mind, never mind.
21:27That's okay.
21:28You can get everything you expect from a burger at whatever the name of his restaurant is.
21:33Oh, oh, I just remembered, I just remembered.
21:35It's too late.
21:35No!
21:36Say it!
21:37It's too late.
21:37It's too late.
21:37It's too late.
21:37It's too late.
21:38It's too late.
21:38It's too late.
21:39It's too late.
21:40You
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