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مسلسل Bob's Burgers مترجم - Episode 1
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00:21Listen, pep talk, big day today, it's our grand re-re-re-opening, it's Labor Day weekend,
00:27and it looks like Wonder Wharf is getting mobbed, so we have to sell-
00:30Big day for another reason too!
00:32Linda, I'm in the middle of my pep talk.
00:34Go ahead, sorry, go ahead, do your pep.
00:36So we have to sell some burgers, every year this weekend makes or breaks us.
00:41Who's farting?
00:41It's Gene's sound effects thing.
00:43I thought that made you sound like a robot.
00:45It does robot voice, laser sound, and fart noise.
00:50Oh God.
00:51Listen, your mother and I have to go downstairs and grind the meat,
00:54but you kids know where you're supposed to be while we're gone, right?
00:56Tina, you're on the grill.
00:57My crotch is itchy.
00:59Whoa!
01:00Okay, are you telling me as my daughter or as my grill cook?
01:03Um, as...
01:05Because my grill cook would never tell me that.
01:07Oh.
01:08Also, my daughter should probably not say anything like that to me.
01:11Tell her.
01:12Tell your mom.
01:12My crotch is itchy?
01:14Come here, let me see.
01:15Linda, not now.
01:16No, let's all see it.
01:17No!
01:17I'm just not sure if I'll be any good on the grill with just one free hand.
01:22Okay, I'm just gonna keep moving here.
01:24Louise, you're working the counter.
01:26I put your little step stool back here.
01:28But do not alter anything on the chalkboard.
01:30Well, what if I think of something better?
01:32Which would be almost impossible not to do.
01:35You will not think of something better because new baconings is perfect.
01:38It's hilarious.
01:39Right?
01:41You know what?
01:41I'm taking the chalk.
01:42Like I don't have chalk.
01:44Gene, you're outside.
01:45Nicely offering people a free sample, alright?
01:47I'm on it!
01:47But people coming out of the crematorium next door, people obviously in mourning.
01:52Yeah?
01:53Don't offer them samples.
01:54Dad, when I'm in character out there, I get in a zone.
01:58I can't keep track of who's in mourning and who isn't.
02:00Just anyone with an urn?
02:02Yeah?
02:03Leave them alone.
02:04I know you think it's the gene show out there, but there's a line between entertaining and annoying.
02:08No!
02:09That's a myth!
02:18Alright, listen.
02:20You're my children, and I love you.
02:22But you're all terrible at what you do here.
02:25And I feel like I should tell you, I'd fire all of you if I could.
02:29Bob!
02:29Alright, hands in.
02:30Tina, don't put your hand in.
02:32What?
02:32Alright, sell some burgers!
02:34Sell some burgers.
02:41Bob's Burgers!
02:42Three samples.
02:44Come and get it.
02:49I don't like leaving the kids alone up there for this long.
02:52Something bad's gonna happen.
02:53Bob, they're fine.
02:54Please, I asked you a question.
02:56Yes, what was the question?
02:57You remember our wedding night?
02:59Yes, we worked, because we couldn't afford not to, I remember.
03:01You know, you're grinding too fast. Slow down.
03:04What was the date?
03:05The date?
03:05Yes, the date of our wedding!
03:07I don't know.
03:08Oh crap.
03:10Is it today?
03:11Yes, Bob!
03:11Today's our anniversary.
03:13Yes, it is!
03:14I'm sorry.
03:14Baby, I'm sorry.
03:15I'm not good with dates.
03:17You know that.
03:18Today's your birthday?
03:19Yes, Bob.
03:20Today's my birthday?
03:22Yes, Bob!
03:23Your due date was today?
03:25Yes, Bob!
03:26How'd it go?
03:28How do you think it...
03:29Good, it went very well.
03:30That's good.
03:32Boy or girl.
03:33Where are you going?
03:35I'm done!
03:35I said I'm sorry.
03:37Bob!
03:37I'm done!
03:38Linda, come back.
03:39We need to finish grinding the hamburger.
03:41Oh my god!
03:42Gross!
03:44Free samples.
03:46Hey!
03:46You can't give out those samples.
03:48You just dropped them on the ground.
03:49Shhh!
03:50What are you, the dropping food on the ground police?
03:52Yes.
03:53Oh.
03:53They have that?
03:54Yes.
03:55I'm the health inspector.
03:56The what?
03:57Health inspector of...
03:59What?
03:59Health inspector.
04:01The burger joint's natural enemy.
04:06Hello, welcome to Bob's Burgers.
04:09The burger of the day is the child molester.
04:12It comes with candy.
04:14Get it?
04:15Yes.
04:15No.
04:16Cause sometimes they use candy to allure their victims.
04:19Yes, we get it.
04:20Oh.
04:20Is this your parents place?
04:22Yes, they're down in the basement grinding the meat right now.
04:25Uh huh.
04:25That's not a euphemism.
04:27They're really grinding the meat.
04:29Show us the kitchen, please.
04:31I'm just saying it's easy to remember.
04:32Our anniversary.
04:33It's September 3rd.
04:349-3.
04:359 is divisible by 3.
04:37What?
04:38That's not...
04:39A lot of numbers are divisible by 3.
04:40Don't argue with me!
04:42Alright, you're right.
04:429 is divisible by 3.
04:44And now I'll remember.
04:45Oh my god!
04:47Are you messing with me?
04:49What?
04:50What do you...no.
04:50You are!
04:51I'm...
04:52You are!
04:52Linda, I forgot.
04:54I am sorry.
04:54I said I'm sorry.
04:55And I'm gonna make it up to you.
04:56I can see you smiling.
04:58I'm not smiling.
05:00You're smiling with your eyes!
05:02What is it?
05:03What are you doing?
05:04A party?
05:04Why are you doing this?
05:05Is it a party upstairs?
05:06No.
05:07Linda, can you please just finish this?
05:08I gotta get back up there.
05:09To get everything ready for the party!
05:11No!
05:12To get everything ready for lunch.
05:13In our restaurant.
05:14The one we're trying to save.
05:15Remember?
05:16Go ahead!
05:17Go!
05:17Call me to come up when it's all ready.
05:19I'll act surprised like this.
05:20Ah!
05:21Ah!
05:22That's...
05:22Ah!
05:23I almost had a heart attack!
05:24That's scared.
05:25That's not surprised.
05:26Ah!
05:27It's like you hurt yourself.
05:30Ah!
05:31That's good.
05:32Smell this!
05:33Doesn't it smell like strawberries?
05:35Ah!
05:35Gotcha!
05:36Spoiled milk, dummy.
05:38So you're the health inspector?
05:39Yes.
05:40Cause I think I have some kind of rash or something.
05:42I'm not that kind of health inspector.
05:44Rashy.
05:45Grill.
05:46Cook.
05:50You have no idea what I've just been through.
05:54Do I have any toilet paper stuck to my buns?
05:57Where are the grownups?
05:59Aha!
06:00You must be Bob.
06:01Uh, who are you?
06:02We're from the health inspector's office.
06:04I'm Hugo.
06:05This is my partner, Ron.
06:06I don't have a badge yet.
06:07I just started.
06:08Give me that.
06:09Come on.
06:09Bob, this is my violations notebook.
06:12I just filled it.
06:13It took five minutes in your kitchen.
06:15Uh, that sounds bad.
06:16It's a record.
06:17Yay!
06:18Shut up.
06:18Not to mention child labor law violations.
06:21Public decency violations.
06:23Public decency?
06:23What are you talking about?
06:24The child molester?
06:26I thought this was a family restaurant.
06:28Uh, what's the child molester?
06:29That's the burger of the day.
06:30No, it's not.
06:31For a limited time only, till you came back upstairs.
06:34Did someone actually order this?
06:35Yeah.
06:36Who?
06:36Him.
06:37He looks like a child molester.
06:39Louise, don't serve him.
06:40Let Gene bring it.
06:41Uh, Bob.
06:42Why do I have to get molested?
06:43Because he's not going to molest you.
06:44Why?
06:45Because you're heavy.
06:46Bob.
06:46Yeah, hold on.
06:47Heavy kids can get molested.
06:48Yeah, who wouldn't want to molest us fast?
06:51That's enough.
06:52Bob.
06:52It's not that.
06:53I mean, Gene, because you're older.
06:54Tina's the oldest.
06:55Make her do it.
06:56Yeah, but Tina's not good with the customers.
06:58Bob.
06:59I'm good with the customers.
07:00Not really.
07:01I'm great with the customers.
07:03She's autistic.
07:04She can't help it.
07:05Yeah, I'm autistic.
07:06Bob.
07:07Just a sec.
07:07No, you're not autistic, Tina.
07:09How many toothpicks on the ground?
07:11Don't play this game again.
07:12Come on, how many toothpicks?
07:13No, it just involves me cleaning up toothpicks.
07:16A hundred?
07:16Bob.
07:17No.
07:17A hundred?
07:18It's three.
07:19There's three.
07:20Okay, okay, how many now?
07:21Bob.
07:21Three.
07:22No.
07:23Ugh, you're the worst kind of autistic.
07:25You can't even count.
07:26Bob!
07:27You want to know why we're here?
07:28Because I'll tell you, it's not for a routine inspection.
07:30It's not?
07:31No.
07:31We're investigating a very disturbing rumor.
07:34There's a rumor you make your burgers with human remains from the crematorium next door.
07:40Hmm.
07:41I wonder how a rumor like that gets started.
07:44It's made with human remains from the crematorium next door.
07:49Who knows?
07:50Kids say crazy stuff.
07:51Here's what's gonna happen.
07:52We'll test your meat.
07:53If it contains human flesh, anything above the 4% allowable by the FDA, then your restaurant
07:59will be closed.
08:00And you, sir, will be going to jail.
08:03Oh, a party for me!
08:07Huh.
08:08Hugo?
08:08Linda?
08:09What are you doing here?
08:10I'm the health inspector.
08:12I just transferred here.
08:13What are you doing here?
08:15This is our restaurant.
08:16We own it.
08:17You're married to him?
08:18How do you two know each other?
08:20I thought you ran off with Bob, the hotshot restaurateur.
08:23I did!
08:25Oh, God.
08:26You did!
08:27Come on it!
08:28Yeah, I don't think so.
08:31I can't believe...
08:33I can't...
08:37I can't believe you left me for him.
08:40You left someone for me?
08:41Ugh!
08:42He doesn't even know!
08:43We were...
08:44We were briefly engaged.
08:47I still remember the day I heard you were getting married.
08:49Oh, my God.
08:50Is today your anniversary?
08:52Yes!
08:53How do you remember that?
08:55It's 9-3.
08:56Nine is divisible by three.
08:57That doesn't make sense.
08:58A lot of numbers are divisible by three.
09:00Well, happy anniversary.
09:04Human flesh?
09:05Wait, wait, wait, wait.
09:06This is one of our biggest weekends.
09:08You can't put that up.
09:09Nobody will eat here.
09:10Prominently displayed.
09:11Well, then just do your test, pal, because it's beef.
09:14Sorry!
09:14The lab's closed till Monday.
09:16You'll get your test results then.
09:18Consider yourself health inspector.
09:22I... I try it.
09:24There's no way.
09:29Hello, how are you?
09:30Come in and have a burger.
09:32A perfectly normal burger.
09:33Best burger in town.
09:36Did your father say anything about an anniversary present?
09:40No.
09:40Nothing.
09:41Like, maybe hiding a necklace in a hamburger or hiding some earrings down the drain or something romantic like that?
09:48That's romantic?
09:49Yeah.
09:50Did you check the toilet or in the garbage?
09:53Jane, get off.
09:54You're choking me.
09:55You're choking me!
09:57So, is Hugo going to put Dad in jail because you dumped him?
10:01No.
10:01Hugo is going to put your father in jail because your sister told her class that we serve human flesh.
10:07Now, why would you do something like that, honey?
10:09Why?
10:10I'll tell you why, Mom.
10:12Anita Vasquez's uncle is a matador in Spain.
10:15She was showing everybody his cape.
10:17I have to up the ante.
10:18And what do I have to show for show and tell?
10:20I got nothing, Mom!
10:22There's nothing here to show!
10:23Louise!
10:24What?!
10:24Tina, stop!
10:27Mom, you can get Hugo to take down the sign.
10:30How am I supposed to do that?
10:32He's madly in love with you.
10:34Work it, woman!
10:35Yeah.
10:43Hello?
10:45Linda?
10:47It's our big weekend.
10:49I mean, this grill should be covered with burgers right now.
10:52Who's that for?
10:53Mort.
10:53He called in his order.
10:55He doesn't want to be seen here, so I'm sending Gene over to the crematorium with it.
10:58Great.
10:59So, Hugo is coming over.
11:02To talk.
11:03To me.
11:04What?
11:04Don't be mad.
11:05I think I can talk him out of it.
11:07All of this.
11:08And when you say, talk him out of it, what does that mean?
11:10Is Hugo gonna be our new dad?
11:12Oh, please.
11:13Just checking.
11:14Maybe I should help you set the mood.
11:16Put out some candles.
11:17Ooh, candles!
11:19Unbelievable.
11:21Bob's Burgers Delivery Service!
11:23Shhh!
11:26Why'd you ever get engaged to that guy anyway?
11:28Ah, I was young.
11:29And my parents liked him because he always did the dishes.
11:32Yeah, I bet.
11:33Also, he used to...
11:36What?
11:37He, uh, he happened to be an excellent kisser.
11:40What?
11:41An excellent kisser?
11:42Yeah, he was very soft and he didn't have a lot of moisture.
11:46Like some people.
11:47Like some people?
11:48Do you think I'm a bad kisser?
11:50No.
11:50Oh, yeah?
11:51Well, how about this?
11:54Oh.
11:55Are you sweating?
11:56Ah, no.
11:58Is that my saliva?
11:59Don't...
11:59Oh, don't be mad.
12:01No, I'm not.
12:02Not at all.
12:03Bob.
12:03I better go, alright?
12:04I'd hate to get any saliva on you and Mr. Perfect Moisture Mouth.
12:08I happen to produce a lot of saliva, Linda.
12:15So, you're the health inspector, huh?
12:17I want to read you this poem.
12:18Ben.
12:20Inspector of Health, Inspector of Pain.
12:22Um...
12:23I came in search of human remains.
12:25And I found a piece of human flesh I thought I'd never see again.
12:30My heart.
12:31Mm-hmm.
12:33Very nice.
12:35Uh, Hugo, you know Bob's not a cannibal, right?
12:38I don't know that.
12:39Don't do this.
12:40I'm sorry I hurt you, but what you're doing is...
12:43I can save you from all this!
12:50Wow, a candy coffin.
12:53Customized caskets and urns, that's our specialty!
12:57That's Mr. Caffrey of the Caffrey Toffee Company.
13:00It's on the lift, cause they're coming to pick him up this afternoon.
13:04I need more condiments.
13:05Uh, don't touch anything, and don't press any buttons.
13:17Oh my god!
13:18It's Bob's anniversary present!
13:20He remembered!
13:22Aw!
13:23This is so exciting!
13:26It's a dead body!
13:28Maybe the present's underneath!
13:30You're on a sinking ship, lady, and you better get off before this ship sinks!
13:34Hello?
13:35The media?
13:41The media?
13:50Good job everybody.
13:52An angry mob.
13:54That's just what we wanted outside our restaurant.
13:57And they're over there.
13:59In their little van.
14:01Inspecting themselves.
14:05Do you think I should change where I part my hair?
14:08Uh, let me see.
14:09Uh, yes?
14:11Can you open the window a little more?
14:13I'm not going to assault you.
14:15Don't touch me!
14:16Sorry, that just came over me.
14:18Listen, I came out to ask you to talk to this crowd.
14:20I mean, you made an angry mob here and...
14:22Huh.
14:23Hey, what's all this stuff?
14:24You got a whole chemistry lab back there.
14:26Can't you do the test here instead of ruining my weekend?
14:29Don't tell me how to do my job.
14:30I don't tell you how to grill your corpses.
14:32Come here!
14:33No, no!
14:34Let go of me!
14:35Good luck with the angry mob, Bob!
14:38Uh, how close am I to that car?
14:41You want me to help you get out of your spot?
14:43Uh, yeah, I can't see his bumper.
14:45Am I close?
14:47No, you got room.
14:48Keep coming.
14:49Keep coming.
14:51Stop.
14:52How am I doing in front?
14:53It's tight.
14:55Keep coming.
14:56All right, cut the wheel.
14:57Cut the wheel!
14:58I am, I am!
14:59I'm cutting it!
15:00You got to cut hard right when you...
15:02Just get out.
15:03I'll do it.
15:04Thank you!
15:06Sucka!
15:08Oh my God, Bob's confronting the crowd.
15:10I'm going out there.
15:12You kids stay inside.
15:13Hey, people.
15:15This is crazy.
15:16We're being smeared by an unstable health inspector for personal reasons.
15:22We know you people, and you know us.
15:24You.
15:25You're the shoe repair guy.
15:27Nope.
15:27Locksmith.
15:28I mean the locksmith.
15:29The locksmith.
15:30I had keys made by you.
15:31So?
15:32That was great, right?
15:34Hmm?
15:35Fair.
15:37No, no, no booing.
15:39No booing, Mort.
15:40You know him, too.
15:42He's one of us.
15:43This guy has been here forever.
15:44Ever since I got run out of Bog Harbor.
15:46What?
15:47Why'd you get run out of Bog Harbor?
15:48For selling human flesh to the restaurants.
15:51I'm kidding, people.
15:53Come on.
15:55Hey, the subject of death makes us all uncomfortable, except Mort.
16:00But what about how we treat the living?
16:03Because sometimes we end up treating those bodies better than we treat these bodies.
16:08We break each other's hearts.
16:10We forget important dates.
16:12We write hurtful things on poster board.
16:14We mistreat the living, and no one seems to care.
16:17But once that body's dead, it's, hey, don't mistreat the dead body.
16:21Hey, don't eat the dead body.
16:23That's the ultimate crime, right?
16:24Murder?
16:25No big deal.
16:26Cannibal?
16:27Whoa!
16:28Is he defending cannibalism?
16:30No, I'm just saying.
16:31Cannibal!
16:32See, that's a knee-jerk thing.
16:32There's damn cannibal!
16:34Don't, please, I'm trying to, no.
16:36Cannibal!
16:36That's not what I meant.
16:38He's gonna eat us!
16:44Oh, thank God it didn't break.
16:47Dad!
16:48Dad!
16:50Forget it.
16:51Never mind.
16:51Not, uh, no longer relevant.
17:00He's right, isn't he?
17:01We can test this meat right here in the mobile lab, can't we?
17:04We liquefy it, add the enzyme.
17:06If it's yellow, salmonella.
17:08If it's chartreuse, it's a deuce.
17:09And if it's blue, it's your aunt Sue.
17:11I know, Ron!
17:12I know the rhyme!
17:14Don't you think I know the rhyme?
17:15It doesn't matter.
17:16Don't you see he's guilty?
17:17If it's not human flesh, it's something else.
17:19It's dirty hand towels.
17:21It's something else!
17:22Stealing your woman?
17:24Shut up!
17:25Shut up!
17:26Shut up!
17:27Okay, that's it.
17:28That's it.
17:29Let it out.
17:29Let it out.
17:33You're a failure.
17:35You failed.
17:36You failed at everything.
17:38You failed at marriage.
17:39You failed at family.
17:41Your kids are failures.
17:43And you're fat.
17:45You're not attractive.
17:46You never were.
17:48Well, you were a little bit when you were a teenager.
17:50But then you got fat.
17:52What is he saying out there?
17:53He's talking to the restaurant, Mom.
17:56Bobby, stop talking to the restaurant and come inside.
17:59Leave me alone!
18:00Bob!
18:01Come inside.
18:02Come on, Bob.
18:03Come on.
18:03Oh.
18:04Bobby.
18:05What's the use?
18:06Dad, this is Louise, your daughter.
18:08Yes, Louise.
18:09What?
18:10I'm sorry that I told everyone that we make burgers from human remains.
18:15Okay, Louise.
18:17Dad, it's Jean.
18:18Yes, Jean.
18:19Go ahead.
18:19Dad?
18:20Yes?
18:21I think we have a bad connection.
18:22I'll call you back.
18:24Oh, my God.
18:24I want to talk to him, too.
18:26I can hear you.
18:27It's just glass.
18:28Oh.
18:29Now my rash smells like bacon.
18:31And it doesn't itch anymore.
18:32I think we're going to be okay.
18:34Okay, Tina.
18:36Dad, is the restaurant going to close?
18:39I don't know, Louise.
18:40We're almost broke.
18:41The whole town thinks we're cannibals.
18:43And I forgot our anniversary.
18:45You'd have been better off with Hugo, Linda.
18:47Bob, please.
18:48Oh, it's true.
18:49I can't even satisfy you with my kisses.
18:52Sorry, kids.
18:53No problem.
18:53Thanks for the info.
18:55Oh, Bobby.
18:56Now you listen to me.
18:57I would rather be married to a suspected cannibal with a dream like you than a soft-lipped guy
19:04who never had a dream in the first place.
19:07You would?
19:07No question.
19:08You're a hero to your kids and to me.
19:11Now come inside.
19:13Come inside and make us some food.
19:15We're hungry.
19:16Oh, Lynn.
19:18I'm coming in.
19:22Open the door.
19:23Ha ha.
19:24Open the door.
19:25Seriously, open the door.
19:27Kids, let your father in the restaurant, please.
19:30Let me in.
19:31Still serving human flesh?
19:33No.
19:34Yes!
19:34No!
19:35We have kind of an adventurous eater's club.
19:37We like to try new things.
19:39Can you seat 25 people?
19:41Oh.
19:42Uh, well, we might have some more human meat, but it's, uh, $50 a burger.
19:47That's a deal.
19:49What?
19:49Really?
19:50Great.
19:52Let's do it.
19:52Hello.
19:54Welcome.
19:54Human flesh.
19:55Right this way.
19:56Uh, hi.
19:57Uh, Hugo wanted to, uh, give you this.
20:00It states clearly that there was no human flesh in your...
20:03Yes, yes.
20:05Thanks.
20:05We were able to expedite the test, and, uh, we found 100% grade A beef.
20:11Ron!
20:12I'm just sorry I got blown out of...
20:13Shut up!
20:13Shut up!
20:14Okay.
20:15Hi.
20:16Welcome.
20:18Lynn, I can't believe how much money we just made.
20:21This turned into a great weekend.
20:22Oh, Bob!
20:24It's gorgeous!
20:25Uh, we seem to have stopped.
20:29Huh.
20:30Bobby!
20:31You've been practicing.
20:33Yeah, I went online.
20:35Got some tips.
20:36They have kissing tips online?
20:37I learned a few moves.
20:39Check this one out.
20:40This one is your anniversary gift.
20:43Nom, nom, nom.
20:45Aw, Bobby!
20:47Go, Bob!
20:49Ugh, unbelievable.
20:53Aw, sick!
20:54Mom's really handsy.
20:56You're a couple of sluts!
20:57I think it's nice.
20:58Hey!
20:59Get this thing moving!
21:01I'm getting scarred for life up here!
21:17I'm getting scarred for you!
21:19Oh, my 2010 is so painful.
21:22And I'm negó-
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