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مسلسل Bob's Burgers مترجم - Episode 11
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00:21It looks like a pickle slice, but furry.
00:24I think it's a message from someone or something
00:27trying to warn us about someone or something.
00:30It's a booger.
00:31Kids, off the seats.
00:33Oh, sorry sir, that was my butt.
00:35What are you looking at?
00:36Smart money's on boogers.
00:37It's not a booger.
00:39Let the man think for himself.
00:41I don't think it's a booger.
00:42Who asked you?
00:43It's getting bigger.
00:44It knows what we're thinking.
00:46Huh, it is definitely growing.
00:48I just hope it's not that green mold.
00:49It's called green mold.
00:51You see in a lot of beach towns
00:53and filthy, disgusting, poorly managed restaurants.
00:56Hey!
00:56So they had to send you, Hugo?
00:58There's no one else that does this?
00:59I just got mold certified.
01:01In a month, I'll be cleared for vermin, too.
01:03Oh, congratulations.
01:04Okay, Gene, if you eat this mold, I'll give you five...
01:08Whoa.
01:09Mmm, gorgonzola.
01:10So, what do I gotta do?
01:11Use bleach on it or something?
01:13Haha, use bleach on it?
01:14Oh, I'll just put bleach on it.
01:15No, of course not, Bob!
01:17I hate you.
01:18This is big.
01:18You have to close.
01:20The whole building will have to be tented for 48 hours.
01:22Great.
01:23There goes our weekend revenue.
01:24Oh, two days off.
01:26Bobby, we could use it.
01:28I guess it has been a while since we've had a break.
01:30Yeah, ten years.
01:32What?
01:32That can't be right.
01:33Ten years.
01:36You're really living the dream, Linda.
01:38Aren't you done, Hugo?
01:39Sure, Bob.
01:40I'm done.
01:41Mold!
01:42Dangerous killer mold!
01:44Floating death spores every...
01:45Gene, how are you feeling?
01:47Kinda nauseous.
01:48A little lightheaded.
01:49Pretty good.
01:50Glad I ate it.
01:51You say that about everything.
01:52Yeah!
01:53Green mold, huh?
01:54Yeah.
01:55You ever dealt with this stuff, Mark?
01:56Oh, sure.
01:57We get all kinds of moldy bodies at the home.
01:59Not on the bodies.
02:00I mean, on the walls or...
02:02And you should see the shut-ins.
02:03Stop.
02:03One guy's back looked like a putting green.
02:06Oh, dear lord.
02:06Hey, you gotta get out of the apartment while the mold guys work, right?
02:10Yeah, we're gonna go to a motel.
02:11And we're gonna tear into that mini bar!
02:14Yeah, we're gonna go on a bender!
02:15No, we're not.
02:16Yes, we are.
02:17I'm gonna drink some Baileys and unwind.
02:20Hey, guys!
02:21Stay with me!
02:22No, I appreciate the offer, but I...
02:24Listen to me!
02:25I live alone in an enormous apartment that happens to be above a funeral home.
02:30So, come on!
02:31Stay with me!
02:32Aww!
02:32Thanks, Mort!
02:33Yeah, yeah!
02:34Linda, seriously, you wanna stay in a funeral home?
02:36Yes!
02:36Why not?
02:37It'll be fun!
02:38Is it spooky?
02:39You mean, do I have a medicine cabinet full of corpse moisturizers?
02:42Ooh!
02:43Yes!
02:44Do they make my skin soft as a baby?
02:46You decide!
02:48It's not greasy, either!
02:49Tina touch!
02:52Come on!
02:53Go get your toothbrushes!
02:54Yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
02:55Thank you!
02:59What?
02:59Weekend at Mort's!
03:00We're gonna have a weekend at Mort's!
03:03Uh!
03:03Uh!
03:03Uh!
03:04Weekend at Mort's!
03:05We're gonna have a weekend at Mort's!
03:07Follow me to your room!
03:10Urn!
03:11Another urn.
03:12That's an award I won for best urn.
03:15Okay, kids, don't climb on anything.
03:17Don't touch anything.
03:18If you do touch something, don't touch me afterwards.
03:20And don't play with dead bodies.
03:22Do you think he's going to have skulls?
03:23What do you think he eats soup out of?
03:26Hey, do you think he's going to have a drawer full of gum that he takes out of corpse pockets?
03:29Because if he does, I want some.
03:31Shh.
03:32Here we go.
03:38Hey, I'm not horrified at all.
03:40Oh, gaw.
03:41Wow, I didn't know you were rich.
03:42Kids, off the furniture.
03:44Well, I get a lot of stuff cheap.
03:45Everything in here had someone die on it.
03:47Kids, off the furniture.
03:48Your room's right down the hall.
03:50All right, kids, let's go.
03:51No, I'll leave the kids.
03:52This weekend, I'm Uncle Mort.
03:54You seriously want to watch my kids?
03:58Uh.
03:59Uh.
04:00Yes.
04:01The whole weekend.
04:02This should be a vacation for you two.
04:04Oh, we can make it the honeymoon we never had.
04:07Sure.
04:07You know, I got the bed you're sleeping in because a man died in it.
04:11Making loves?
04:13Huh?
04:13Good God.
04:14Mm-hmm.
04:15It's a haunted honeymoon.
04:17Woo!
04:18Woo!
04:20Woo!
04:32Two whole days off from the restaurant, huh?
04:35I know.
04:35What are we going to do with ourselves?
04:37Well, I know what I'm going to do.
04:38First, I'm going to take these off.
04:40Oh.
04:41These bad boys.
04:42Bobby.
04:43Hmm?
04:43You're going to slip into something more comfortable?
04:45And I'm going to get these on.
04:47Oh.
04:48Are those your, uh...
04:49My lazy pants?
04:50Yes.
04:51Well, I guess they come off easy.
04:54And, uh, now I will get this guy out.
04:57Uh-huh.
04:58Uh-huh.
04:58And let the vacation begin.
05:01What the hell is that?
05:02It's my model.
05:03Since when do you do models?
05:05It's a hobby of mine, Lynn.
05:06From back when I could still have hobbies.
05:08I just relax, turn my brain off, and enjoy the thrill of the build.
05:12The bus from Speed?
05:13Yep.
05:13The bus from Speed.
05:14Bus from Speed.
05:15I didn't even know you liked that movie so much.
05:18I never saw it.
05:18I don't like to see the movie until I finish the model.
05:21Hmm.
05:21Makes it more fun.
05:22Wouldn't it be more fun if we did something together?
05:25Like, uh, the couple's manicures?
05:27Or couples waxing?
05:29Oh!
05:30You could get a manzillion.
05:32That stuff is for people who are dating, Linda.
05:34We do other couple stuff.
05:36We couples live together.
05:37And that's even better.
05:38You know what?
05:39I'm going to go.
05:39Okay, good.
05:40I mean, okay.
05:41Gotta be all by myself.
05:43On my honeymoon, I might add.
05:45It's not our honeymoon, Linda.
05:48Hey, hey!
05:48Look!
05:49Comes with a little Keanu.
05:50Hi, guy.
05:51Hi, Bob.
05:52Missed you, buddy.
05:53Oh, for Pete's sakes, you big freak!
05:56Bet you never knew washing out rubber tubing could be such a blast, huh, kids?
06:00Well, I have a feeling.
06:02Who wants to help me glue a toupee on an old man's cadaver?
06:05Yay!
06:06This is like camp.
06:08Tina?
06:09Tina, what's bothering you?
06:10The wig or the cadaver?
06:13The cadaver.
06:13Wigs can be scary.
06:15You know what?
06:15Why don't you kids go ahead and take five?
06:18Explore the morgue.
06:19But stay away from my computer.
06:20Not because of porn.
06:22This computer?
06:23Come on, now.
06:24What's this?
06:25A dating website for morticians?
06:27Mort, you got a message!
06:29Yeah.
06:29Well, this lady and I have been messaging.
06:32I sent her a wink.
06:33She sent me back a kissy face.
06:34Kissy face?
06:35That's a big deal.
06:36You need to take this relationship into the real world, Mort.
06:40Yeah!
06:40Reality, Mort!
06:41Meet space!
06:43Get into it!
06:43Nah, I'm not ready.
06:45Oh, you're right, Mort.
06:46You're, what, 50?
06:48Wait till you're ready.
06:4950?
06:50I'm 35 years old!
06:52Huh?
06:52If you believe my dating profile.
06:56Anson!
06:57What?
06:58What'd you do?
06:58Wash your hairpiece, Mort.
07:00You're going on a date!
07:05Oh, Keanu.
07:06Give me long sleeves.
07:08Okay, why?
07:09You look great in a tee.
07:10I don't know, I just switch it up.
07:12Okay.
07:13No, no, don't make me one of those tuxedo t-shirts.
07:16Do that, it'll be funny.
07:17That's stupid, I don't like those.
07:19Ah!
07:19I see you're still playing with your dolls.
07:22Mm-hmm.
07:23I just got back from salsa boot camp.
07:25I was the lonely little salsa eater.
07:27All by myself.
07:28Ah, she's back.
07:29It'd just be cool.
07:30Mom!
07:30Dad!
07:31Come quick!
07:31Oh, my God!
07:33What?
07:33What is it?
07:33What's wrong?
07:34I'm nothing.
07:35This is just silly.
07:37Mort asked a girl on a date.
07:39A date?
07:40It was the kid's idea.
07:42Yep.
07:42I proposed a romantic rendezvous for 8 p.m. tonight at the elegant Jimmy Pesto's.
07:48What?
07:48Jimmy Pesto's?
07:49What?
07:50I only know two restaurants, and they have cloth napkins.
07:54Don't rub it in.
07:55Calm down.
07:56Hey, she replied!
07:57Already?
07:58Too soon, am I right?
07:59It's not a good sign.
08:00Mort, it's a date.
08:01See you at 8.
08:02She's a rhymer.
08:03There you go, Mort.
08:04I mean, it could be fun, two morticians.
08:06Hey, what if you and Linda come, too?
08:09No, no.
08:10Yeah!
08:10A double date!
08:11Oh, but who would watch the kids?
08:13Right, yeah.
08:14Tina can babysit.
08:16I can?
08:16Oh, come on.
08:18We're a little old to be babysat.
08:20Isn't that an outdated concept?
08:22No.
08:23Need I remind you what happened last time she was quote-unquote in charge?
08:29Free slim!
08:30Mr. Larry!
08:33Hobo dinner!
08:34Oh, pssh.
08:35We'll just be right across the street.
08:37Tina can call us on the emergency cell phone if she needs to.
08:40All right.
08:40You bought the ticket.
08:42You take the ride.
08:43Come on, Linda.
08:45We shouldn't go to this.
08:46It will be bad.
08:47Bob, we are going out tonight.
08:50All right, fine, fine.
08:51Yay!
08:52But just for a couple hours.
08:54And I'm wearing my lazy pants.
08:55Okay.
08:56Yeah, and I'm going to drink.
08:57A lot.
08:58Yay!
08:59Double date!
09:00All right!
09:02Oh, I love it.
09:04I feel like we're in Jamaica.
09:06Oh, Jamaican honeymoon.
09:08You be just in time for pastafarian night with garlic breadsticks, man.
09:12Stop.
09:13Groove with me to your...
09:15Uh-huh.
09:15I...
09:16You're such a jerk.
09:21I'm a born babysitter.
09:23Tina brings the fun.
09:25Now, Sparkle.
09:27Hi, Jean.
09:28Would you like to play a game?
09:30Maybe sing a song?
09:33Uh, Tina?
09:35Will you join me in the corner for a little powwow?
09:37Okay.
09:38You're dying out there, kid.
09:40Yeah.
09:41Everybody hates you.
09:43I know.
09:43I'm blowing it.
09:44Should I call for help on the emergency phone?
09:46Hold on.
09:47Maybe you should think outside the box.
09:49How many times in our life will we get a chance to wander unsupervised in a morgue?
09:55Yeah, won't that be scary?
09:57Tina, you don't babysit from here.
09:59You babysit from here.
10:01My boob?
10:03Yes, your boob.
10:04Really?
10:05Yeah.
10:06What's your boob telling you, Tina?
10:08I don't know.
10:09Explore the morgue.
10:12Explore the morgue?
10:13That a girl!
10:20Sorry, just hungry.
10:25Try not to see me tonight.
10:27Oh, yeah.
10:28It's on the special tonight.
10:31Bobby, they're playing our song.
10:33What?
10:34Her song isn't Ziti tonight.
10:36Oh, I think that's her!
10:43Mort, I recognize you from the picture on your website.
10:46I'm Samantha!
10:47Well, it's quite a pleasure to meet you, Samantha.
10:49This is my friend Bob and his lovely wife, Linda.
10:52Hi.
10:52Hi.
10:53We're on our honeymoon.
10:54Oh, congratulations.
10:57It's not our honeymoon.
10:58Well, technically.
11:00Not technically.
11:00First time to Jamaica.
11:02Oh, my God.
11:02Sorry for the smell.
11:04Long day slaving over the old embalming table.
11:06Well, let me just say that I've been embalming you with my eyes since the moment you walked in.
11:13More!
11:15Gosh, it's their special language.
11:18Waiter, do you have anything bigger?
11:20Come on, everybody.
11:22Try a dessert.
11:24You gotta have a cannoli.
11:27Ooh, cannolis!
11:31Let's move.
11:32Oh, how thoughtless of me.
11:34Tina, I'm sure you want to go first to protect us and stuff?
11:38Yeah, Tina.
11:39Earn that sweet babysitter cash.
11:41Wait, wait.
11:41First.
11:42First, how about a hug?
11:44Aww.
11:47Come here, Gene.
11:49You're a good boy.
11:51Uh, weird?
11:55Alright, let's wrap this up.
11:56Okay.
11:57I'm ready.
11:58I'll go first.
11:59Like a lamb to the slaughter.
12:04Oh, guys!
12:05I, uh, I forgot who sang Funky Town.
12:07I have to go look it up or it's gonna bug me all night.
12:09You're not going anywhere.
12:10Keep walking, Tina.
12:13Uh.
12:16Are there bodies in those coffins?
12:18With all this green mold around town, better hope not.
12:21What do you mean?
12:22You're joking, right?
12:24Only that green mold turns bodies into the living dead.
12:28Uh.
12:28Tina, you're a zombie file.
12:31You should go this.
12:32I'm not a zombie file.
12:33I have a complicated relationship with zombies.
12:35They're dangerous, but I love their swagger.
12:37Funky Town is my lips incorporated.
12:39I just remembered.
12:40I'm not a zombie.
12:41The morgue.
12:43Well, here goes nothing.
12:52Every time they say something horrible, take a drink.
12:55Bob, stop.
12:56I'm doing it.
12:57So, what's the weirdest thing you've ever found in a human body?
13:01Here we go.
13:02You first.
13:03Light ball.
13:05A football.
13:08A far side calendar.
13:10Really? Huh.
13:12But most of the time, what I find is lots and lots of tumors.
13:17Aw, already finishing each other's...
13:26Oh, my God. No, Linda.
13:28Sentence.
13:29Stop.
13:31Sentence.
13:33Sentences.
13:36How long does it take to open a door?
13:40Okay.
13:45Smells a little moldy and corpse-y.
13:49Bad combo.
13:50I don't think we should be here.
13:52Yeah, let's go back upstairs.
13:54You're totally right, guys.
14:00It's locked.
14:03Louise, no!
14:09Silly us.
14:10It was only a phone.
14:12Ah.
14:13Hello?
14:14Who is it?
14:15Some stranger.
14:17Hello?
14:18Have you checked the children?
14:21Mom?
14:21No, I'm a zombie.
14:25Oh.
14:26No, I'm...
14:27I am also a murderer.
14:36Hey, I gotcha.
14:38Come on, dance with mommy.
14:40Come on.
14:40You drunk enough to be any fun yet?
14:42Yeah, I guess.
14:44Mom?
14:45Linda?
14:46Here you go, my man.
14:57Linda, I can't do it anymore.
14:59Come on.
15:00No.
15:00I'm going home, Lynn.
15:01To Mort's.
15:02Don't you ignore my lasso.
15:04Whoa, doggie.
15:06You got me.
15:07Not you, Hugo.
15:08Fair enough.
15:09Fine, Bob.
15:10We don't need you here anyway, you big sour blanket.
15:13Who wants to see what I learned today in salsa class?
15:20Uh, guess I can go finish Speed Bus.
15:23Speed Bus.
15:24I can watch the movie.
15:25Hope it's as good as the model.
15:27It is.
15:28Keanu?
15:28Ah!
15:29Kids.
15:30Kids.
15:32Keanu, where are they?
15:33Downstairs?
15:33Yeah, probably.
15:34Thanks.
15:36Oh, I hate stairs.
15:37We've been drinking, huh?
15:38You got that right, buddy.
15:40I feel like I could pass out.
15:42Anybody in there?
15:43Hmm, what is that?
15:44Satin?
15:45Oh, man, that is calling our name, Keanu.
15:48Get in there.
15:49Will do, buddy.
15:58Somebody close my bed.
16:01I'll get it.
16:03Unlock the door, Louise.
16:05No, you have the key.
16:07Nope, I ate it.
16:08We'll have to wait till it comes out.
16:10You never poop.
16:11We're doomed.
16:12Yep.
16:15What the hell?
16:17It's coming from the next room.
16:20She's messing with us again.
16:21No, I swear.
16:22I did this, but I am not doing that.
16:26I won't get fooled again.
16:28I'm the babysitter.
16:41Kid, stop doing that.
16:43It's me.
16:44No!
16:45No!
16:46Hit it!
16:47Smash it!
16:48I don't want to die!
16:51Oh, oh, oh, oh.
16:55Let me out!
16:55Let me out!
16:56Now what?
16:57Now...
16:58We cremate it.
16:59Cremate?
17:00No!
17:01No cremating, Dad!
17:02It was a lot.
17:03He's trying to sweet-talk us.
17:05That's classic zombie.
17:07La, la, la, la.
17:08La, la, la.
17:09La, la, la, la, la, la.
17:10Open the cashckets!
17:12La, la, la, la, la.
17:16La, la, la, la.
17:20Kids, it's your father.
17:21For the love of God, let me out!
17:26I'm gonna die alone, and I'm in my lazy pants. Linda hates these pants.
17:30Damn it, they're coming off! For you, Lynn!
17:33Now what?
17:34Now we turn it on.
17:35How?
17:36Just pull all the levers. Alive!
17:38But they look like robot wieners!
17:40I know!
17:41Okay!
17:44It's not so bad!
17:46Keep pulling the robot wieners!
17:48Woo-hoo! I love reggae!
17:49Hey! Don't listen to anyone who says you can't have a perfectly good honeymoon by yourself.
17:56Hey! Hey! I'm not done! I'm not done!
17:58Let me tell you something.
18:00I haven't known Samantha very long, but a woman knows when another woman is aroused.
18:06Woo!
18:07Uh-huh-huh-huh.
18:08Heh. Turn that thingy while I pull this thingy.
18:11You don't know how! Let me!
18:12I'm in charge!
18:14All right, here it goes. Superhuman strength.
18:16You can do it!
18:17Ah! What happened?
18:19Dad?
18:20Dad?
18:22Uh-oh.
18:23Oh, my God! I'm gonna die in here!
18:25Dad! I've got you!
18:26I'm burning! Coffin' on fire!
18:30Ah!
18:30Ah!
18:31Ah!
18:32Ah!
18:33Ah!
18:33Yes!
18:34Air!
18:36Kids! Come here!
18:37Tita's in charge!
18:39Ah!
18:43Oh! Now you come off!
18:45What happened here?
18:46My shop's a wreck!
18:48Mort!
18:48Lady Mortician, how's the day going?
18:51Good!
18:52Good!
18:52Are you okay, Bob?
18:53I face death, Mort.
18:55I know things now.
18:57I know!
18:58You don't just build a model of life.
19:00You watch the movie of life.
19:02You get in the mood and make some mortician babies, you two!
19:06Mort!
19:07Your name!
19:08Kids are amazing!
19:09Even if they try to burn you alive in a coffin, and they will do that.
19:13Yeah.
19:13Yeah.
19:14But it's good, because you see your whole life pass before you as you're burning.
19:18And every pair of pants you've ever worn, and you'll see the love of your life dancing salsa in Jamaica
19:25by herself, Mort, and you.
19:27What is your name?
19:29It's Samantha!
19:30Yes! That's beautiful!
19:31Are you two in love, or what?
19:33Hopefully.
19:34Can I hear you say yeah?
19:35Yeah!
19:36Yes, we are!
19:37Yeah!
19:38Yes, Bob!
19:39Great! Then feel it!
19:40I feel it!
19:41Love!
19:41I feel it!
19:42Say love!
19:43Love!
19:43Love!
19:44You watch my kids for ten minutes?
19:46Sure.
19:47Good. I gotta go.
19:50Nice embalming table. Is it disinfected?
19:54Uh, Tina, do you think maybe you could...
19:58Say no more.
19:59Gene! Luis! Now!
20:01Ow! My ears!
20:06No, no, no! No, no, no!
20:08Ah!
20:09Wrong door.
20:11Hello, baby.
20:13Bob!
20:13Ah, disgusting! I can see your downstairs dreadlocks!
20:17Go ahead and look, Jimmy!
20:19No, man!
20:19No, man!
20:20Ah! Buffy, you big goof!
20:23I took off my lazy pants. Did you notice, Lynn?
20:25Yes, I did!
20:27God!
20:27Care to couples dance with me on our haunted Jamaican honeymoon?
20:34Ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha! That's green mold! Right there on Jimmy's wall!
20:38What?
20:39See it, Lynn? Right there!
20:40Oh! Ha-ha-ha! Yes!
20:42Oh, crap.
20:43Ha-ha-ha! We win! We win!
20:46Eh, just put some bleach on it.
20:48What?
20:49Weekend Amorance!
20:51We're gonna have a weekend amorance!
20:55Ha-ha-ha!
20:56Weekend Amorance!
20:58We're gonna have a weekend amorance!
21:11We're gonna have a weekend amorance!
21:15We're gonna have a weekend amorance!
21:18Ha-ha-ha!
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